Depression: What to Do about It

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– By Tony Schirtzinger

BE ANGRY OR BE DEPRESSED Depressed people are angry people who won't admit it. They tend to say nothing when they should be saying: "Get out of my way!"

Anger is a natural emotion which occurs whenever there is something in your way. We probably get at least a little angry about 20 times each day.

When we act on our anger we are saying: "I count, and what I want matters."

When we don't take action we are saying: "You count, I don't."

Ignoring our anger can make us believe that nobody counts and nothing matters.

BIOLOGY OR PSYCHOLOGY?

Professionals debate whether major depression is biological, psychological, or both. But everyone agrees that all depression, mild to severe, shows the need for better self-care.

HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH?

You have probably heard: "We all get depressed sometimes." To the extent that this is true, it is a sad reflection of our guilt-ridden culture. It is not a reflection of some biological predisposition toward being depressed.

Any depression is a problem, and regularly occurring depression is a serious problem. If the suggestions given here do not help, therapy (either with or without medication) can speed things up considerably.

THE WAY OUT - WHAT TO DO ABOUT DEPRESSION

If you are seldom depressed, read this section for general ideas on self-improvement.

If you are often depressed, work your way down the list and spend as much time on each item as you need. Stay with it until you have completed each task (see "What You'll Learn").

1) Notice how prevalent anger is. Just go about your normal day and notice every time you see even the slightest sign of anger in the people around you.

What You'll Learn: You'll see that anger does occur about 20 times every day.

2) Notice how safe anger can be. Notice how people use their anger to get what they want, and how seldom they "get in trouble" for it.

What You'll Learn: You'll see that some people almost always get angry responses from others when they express their anger, but most people do not. Decide to learn from those who do not.

3) Make a list, on paper, of the best examples you can find of how people around you use their anger effectively. Put an asterisk on the examples you like most. Notice how often these people get what they want when they express their anger.

What You'll Learn: You'll show yourself how safe anger can be. You'll see that everyone has their own unique style of expressing anger, and that one or more of these styles "feels right" for you to use. You'll learn that people who express their anger get what they want much more often than people who do not.

4) Learn the physical sensation you feel whenever you get angry ("tight shoulder," "tense stomach," "pain in my chest," etc.). Notice that you get this same sensation every time you are angry - and that it varies from very slight to very strong depending on how angry you are. Get good at noticing even the slightest sensations of anger.

What You'll Learn: After accomplishing this task you will always know when you are angry, how strong your anger is, and how much energy you have to deal with each anger-inducing situation.

5) Begin to express your anger more and more, based on what you've learned about how others express their anger. Notice what happens to your depression.

What You'll Learn: The more anger you use, the less depressed you will feel.

6) Continue to experiment with expressing your anger. Focus on the results you get. Compare what actually happens with what you thought would happen. (In other words, compare reality to your scary fantasies.)

What You'll Learn: Everyone will learn that their scary fantasies are far worse than what happens in real life. Most people will learn that their scary fantasies were based on childhood realities, not on adult realities.

HOW YOU'LL CHANGE

When you are no longer depressed you will feel stronger, more energetic, and more enthused. You will have a renewed interest in all kinds of pleasure. Daily problems will still be there, but they will bother you much less. You will even begin to find opportunities where you used to find only problems!

HOW YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WILL CHANGE

Your relationships will improve immensely, just because you are less depressed. Everyone will enjoy being with you more because of your energy and spontaneity.

OTHER ARTICLES

This article is the second in a two-part series at my site on Depression.(See: "Depression: The Problem.") Also look for other articles on depression as well as articles on anger, motivation, discipline, etc. Look for ideas about how to avoid depression in every article!

About the Author:

Tony Schirtzinger is a therapist in Milwaukee. Visit his web site to read many articles like this one. You can also do your own "Relationship Analysis." And FREE letters of advice from a therapist are also available!