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Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Too Much To Do -- I Nevër Get Everything Done
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– By Dr. R. James Steffen
Too Much To Do – I Nevër Get Everything Done Five minutes can change that forever.
When Bill Madson said “Too much to do!” the frustration on his face told me he had a serious problem. He continued, “I nevër get everything done!”
After listening to his situation for twenty more minutes, Bill flooded me with questions: “Is my problem unique? Is this a situation I must live with for life? Is this situation chronic to my job? Can you do anything to help me?”
The first thing I shared with Bill was that 95 to 99% of the professionals I have met working with 140 Fortune 500 companies related to his anxiety. Bill is not alone. I agreed to help Bill if he would be willing to spend just five minutes a day faithfully using two simple proven tools to solve his frustration. He agreed. Herë is what I told him.
Bill’s Problem – Rooted in His Excellence I first asked Bill to accept the fact that on any day he has the ability to think up more to do than he can possibly do. Four things limit what he can accomplish: his time, talent, resources and energy. Only his talent limits what he can think up. With hesitation, Bill agreed that part of his problem was rooted in his talent. We moved to the way he planned his day.
Two Huge Mistakes:
* Using an ordinary to-do list
* Not guestimating how long things take and adjusting accordingly
A To-Do List Helps But Frustrates Bill shared how a consultant encouraged him to use a to-do list. Religiously, as Bill thought of things to do, he would write them on that to-do list. He would work hard to get it all done. At the end of the day, he equally religiously checked off all he had accomplished. He showed me yesterday’s to-do list.
“I started the day with thirty things. I came in early, skipped lunch and worked late. During the day I added four things. At the end of the day I chëcked off the three things I got done. As I walked to the car, what do you think I was thinking of? The three I got done or the thirty-one items still on my list. After working hard and extra time, how do you think I felt that my to-do list was longer at the end of the day that when I began? I felt miserable,” Bill blurted out.
“Bill,” I replied, “You are experiencing to-do-list frustration, lovingly called TODLIF. Let me show you a way to overcome to-do-list frustration immediately and forever.”
A To-Do List Is a Contradiction
I explained how a to-do list contains a contradiction. Bill, like most to-do list users, hurried to add to his to-do list each time he thought of something else. Coming in early, skipping lunch and working late, he tried to get it all done. He put unlimïted items on the list. Because of his limitations of time, energy and resources, he could chëck only a limited number of things off. A lose-losë situation.
Using an ordinary to-do list condemns many professionals to lives grounded in an underlying negative feeling “I nevër get it all done.” This negative conviction saps part of the total energy needed for full accomplishment.
A Simple, Inexpensive and Immediate Solution to To-Do-List Frustration If you can call TODLIF a psychological sickness, then the penicillin for the situation is the Holding Pen and Priority List. The good news is that the Holding Pen and Priority List work even faster than penicillin.
This 1-2 punch will give you an immediate cure. First, create a holding pen where you write down all your to-dos as soon as you think of them. Your holding pen can be a simple pad of paper or as elegant as the latest Palm Pilot, Black Bird or computer.
At the beginning of each day, create a priority list. Your priority list items come from the Holding Pen. However, herë is the critical difference: on your Priority List, place only those priorities you believe you can accomplish today.
Guestimating – The Critical Step Most people skip this simple one-minute step: guestimating how long each item will take, then adjusting the list accordingly. Two hints:
* Things usually take longer than you believe – plan accordingly.
* Build in time for the unexpected and you won’t be disappoïnted.
During the day as you think of more things to do, quickly add them to your Holding Pen. Then you are frëe to immediately get back to the one priority of the moment with vigor and total concentration. And you will not forget anything because it’s captured in your Holding Pen.
How Bill’s Picture Changed:
Bill, Using Ordinary To-Do List As Bill went to the car, having accomplished three things, he got only 10% of his original 30 and still has 31 to do. Which do you think he focused on--the three accomplished or the 31 still on the list?
Bill Using Priority List and Holding Pen Bill’s Holding Pen is out of sight, to be used when he sets his Priority List tomorrow. As he walks to the car, he only sees the three priorities he began with, and accomplished today. Bill smiles as he reflects, “Finally, I got it all done.”
An Immediate Triple Wïn
If you’re like Bill Madson, when you use the Holding Pen and Priority List, you can expect a triple wïn.
Wïn #1 – All Mental Energy Focuses On Priorities
Bill became aware that a chronic part of his problem was the underlying worry and conviction that he would “Nevër Get It All Done!” The mental or psychic energy that went to the worrying was taking away from his total focus on the one Most Important Nöw of each moment.
With the holding pen and priority list, all this is changed. Today, Bill accepts and is thankful that he has the talent to create more to do in a day than he can possibly do. He has joined the ranks of the outstanding achievers; he focuses on the most important.
Wïn #2 – Increased Achievement
Today Bill achieves more for two reasons:
* He does not losë focus worrying about not getting it all done.
* By consistently focusing 100% of his mental energy, he joins the ranks of outstanding achievers.
Wïn #3 – Increased Satisfaction – “I Got It All Done”
Imagine most of your days ending by looking at your priority list and being able to say those glorious words, “I got it all done!” Better yet, “I got it all done again!”
15-Second Summary – Your Take-Home Value:
Problem
* Too much to do! I nevër get it all done!
Condition To Solve Your Problem
* Acknowledge your talent--you can plan more in a day that you can possible do.
Simple Solution You Can Use Immediately
* As you create things to do, immediately put them in your holding pen.
* When planning your day, only select those priorities you can accomplish today.
* Guestimate how long each item will take and adjust priorities accordingly.
Results You Can Expect
* All your mental energy focused on achievement.
* Increased achievement especially of the important things.
* The satisfaction of regularly getting it all done.
The material for this article comes from Dr. R. James Steffen’s new book: Aligned Thinking Make Every Moment Count: How successful people get what they REALLY want. To read a few chapters or more articles, go to www.SSAinternational.com
About the Author:
Dr. R. James Steffen has designed and makes available herë the industry’s most powerful time management system and tools called the Aligned Thinking™ Process. Aligned Thinking will help you do what most believe impossible: Align Every Action To What You Really Want. By showing how to align your every action to WHAT YOU REALLY WANT, this elegantly simple time management system will guide you to get the most from your business and personal life and balance the two. This is a wïn-wïn-wïn: a wïn for you, your company and your clients. Details: http://www.SSAinternational.com. Contact 203-740-8400 or rjsteffen@SSAinternational.com.
– By Dr. R. James Steffen
Too Much To Do – I Nevër Get Everything Done Five minutes can change that forever.
When Bill Madson said “Too much to do!” the frustration on his face told me he had a serious problem. He continued, “I nevër get everything done!”
After listening to his situation for twenty more minutes, Bill flooded me with questions: “Is my problem unique? Is this a situation I must live with for life? Is this situation chronic to my job? Can you do anything to help me?”
The first thing I shared with Bill was that 95 to 99% of the professionals I have met working with 140 Fortune 500 companies related to his anxiety. Bill is not alone. I agreed to help Bill if he would be willing to spend just five minutes a day faithfully using two simple proven tools to solve his frustration. He agreed. Herë is what I told him.
Bill’s Problem – Rooted in His Excellence I first asked Bill to accept the fact that on any day he has the ability to think up more to do than he can possibly do. Four things limit what he can accomplish: his time, talent, resources and energy. Only his talent limits what he can think up. With hesitation, Bill agreed that part of his problem was rooted in his talent. We moved to the way he planned his day.
Two Huge Mistakes:
* Using an ordinary to-do list
* Not guestimating how long things take and adjusting accordingly
A To-Do List Helps But Frustrates Bill shared how a consultant encouraged him to use a to-do list. Religiously, as Bill thought of things to do, he would write them on that to-do list. He would work hard to get it all done. At the end of the day, he equally religiously checked off all he had accomplished. He showed me yesterday’s to-do list.
“I started the day with thirty things. I came in early, skipped lunch and worked late. During the day I added four things. At the end of the day I chëcked off the three things I got done. As I walked to the car, what do you think I was thinking of? The three I got done or the thirty-one items still on my list. After working hard and extra time, how do you think I felt that my to-do list was longer at the end of the day that when I began? I felt miserable,” Bill blurted out.
“Bill,” I replied, “You are experiencing to-do-list frustration, lovingly called TODLIF. Let me show you a way to overcome to-do-list frustration immediately and forever.”
A To-Do List Is a Contradiction
I explained how a to-do list contains a contradiction. Bill, like most to-do list users, hurried to add to his to-do list each time he thought of something else. Coming in early, skipping lunch and working late, he tried to get it all done. He put unlimïted items on the list. Because of his limitations of time, energy and resources, he could chëck only a limited number of things off. A lose-losë situation.
Using an ordinary to-do list condemns many professionals to lives grounded in an underlying negative feeling “I nevër get it all done.” This negative conviction saps part of the total energy needed for full accomplishment.
A Simple, Inexpensive and Immediate Solution to To-Do-List Frustration If you can call TODLIF a psychological sickness, then the penicillin for the situation is the Holding Pen and Priority List. The good news is that the Holding Pen and Priority List work even faster than penicillin.
This 1-2 punch will give you an immediate cure. First, create a holding pen where you write down all your to-dos as soon as you think of them. Your holding pen can be a simple pad of paper or as elegant as the latest Palm Pilot, Black Bird or computer.
At the beginning of each day, create a priority list. Your priority list items come from the Holding Pen. However, herë is the critical difference: on your Priority List, place only those priorities you believe you can accomplish today.
Guestimating – The Critical Step Most people skip this simple one-minute step: guestimating how long each item will take, then adjusting the list accordingly. Two hints:
* Things usually take longer than you believe – plan accordingly.
* Build in time for the unexpected and you won’t be disappoïnted.
During the day as you think of more things to do, quickly add them to your Holding Pen. Then you are frëe to immediately get back to the one priority of the moment with vigor and total concentration. And you will not forget anything because it’s captured in your Holding Pen.
How Bill’s Picture Changed:
Bill, Using Ordinary To-Do List As Bill went to the car, having accomplished three things, he got only 10% of his original 30 and still has 31 to do. Which do you think he focused on--the three accomplished or the 31 still on the list?
Bill Using Priority List and Holding Pen Bill’s Holding Pen is out of sight, to be used when he sets his Priority List tomorrow. As he walks to the car, he only sees the three priorities he began with, and accomplished today. Bill smiles as he reflects, “Finally, I got it all done.”
An Immediate Triple Wïn
If you’re like Bill Madson, when you use the Holding Pen and Priority List, you can expect a triple wïn.
Wïn #1 – All Mental Energy Focuses On Priorities
Bill became aware that a chronic part of his problem was the underlying worry and conviction that he would “Nevër Get It All Done!” The mental or psychic energy that went to the worrying was taking away from his total focus on the one Most Important Nöw of each moment.
With the holding pen and priority list, all this is changed. Today, Bill accepts and is thankful that he has the talent to create more to do in a day than he can possibly do. He has joined the ranks of the outstanding achievers; he focuses on the most important.
Wïn #2 – Increased Achievement
Today Bill achieves more for two reasons:
* He does not losë focus worrying about not getting it all done.
* By consistently focusing 100% of his mental energy, he joins the ranks of outstanding achievers.
Wïn #3 – Increased Satisfaction – “I Got It All Done”
Imagine most of your days ending by looking at your priority list and being able to say those glorious words, “I got it all done!” Better yet, “I got it all done again!”
15-Second Summary – Your Take-Home Value:
Problem
* Too much to do! I nevër get it all done!
Condition To Solve Your Problem
* Acknowledge your talent--you can plan more in a day that you can possible do.
Simple Solution You Can Use Immediately
* As you create things to do, immediately put them in your holding pen.
* When planning your day, only select those priorities you can accomplish today.
* Guestimate how long each item will take and adjust priorities accordingly.
Results You Can Expect
* All your mental energy focused on achievement.
* Increased achievement especially of the important things.
* The satisfaction of regularly getting it all done.
The material for this article comes from Dr. R. James Steffen’s new book: Aligned Thinking Make Every Moment Count: How successful people get what they REALLY want. To read a few chapters or more articles, go to www.SSAinternational.com
About the Author:
Dr. R. James Steffen has designed and makes available herë the industry’s most powerful time management system and tools called the Aligned Thinking™ Process. Aligned Thinking will help you do what most believe impossible: Align Every Action To What You Really Want. By showing how to align your every action to WHAT YOU REALLY WANT, this elegantly simple time management system will guide you to get the most from your business and personal life and balance the two. This is a wïn-wïn-wïn: a wïn for you, your company and your clients. Details: http://www.SSAinternational.com. Contact 203-740-8400 or rjsteffen@SSAinternational.com.
ALWAYS HAVE A CHANCE
-------------------------------------------------
You know what you are today but not what you may be tomorrow. Use your imagination and look at things as they can be.
You can do anything you wish to do, have anything you wish to have, and be anything you wish to be. You don't know what you can really do until you try. All you have to do is to act on your dreams.
You have the power within you to do things you never dreamed possible. You would amaze yourself if you did all the things you're capable of doing. This power becomes available to you as soon as you change some of your beliefs.
Success begins in your mind.
©2006 by Max Steingart
You know what you are today but not what you may be tomorrow. Use your imagination and look at things as they can be.
You can do anything you wish to do, have anything you wish to have, and be anything you wish to be. You don't know what you can really do until you try. All you have to do is to act on your dreams.
You have the power within you to do things you never dreamed possible. You would amaze yourself if you did all the things you're capable of doing. This power becomes available to you as soon as you change some of your beliefs.
Success begins in your mind.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Monday, February 27, 2006
A Life Of Passion
------------------------------------------------
Getting Back To What You Love
There are times in life when we are committed to pursuing our passions. Every molecule in our body is focused on doing what we love. At other times, necessity and responsibility dictate that we put our dreams aside and do what needs to be done. It is during these moments that we may choose to forget what it is that we love to do. There are many other reasons for why we may leave our passions behind. A hobby may lose its appeal once we've realize it will never turn into our dream job. Someone important to us may keep telling us that our passions are childish and unsuitable - until we finally believe them.
Forgetting about what you love to do can be a form of self-sabotage. If you can forget about your dreams, then you never have to risk failure. But just because we've decided to ignore our passions doesn't mean they no longer exist. Nothing can fill the emptiness that remains in a space vacated by a passion that we have tossed aside. Besides, life is too short to stop doing what you love, and it is never too late to rediscover your favorite things. If you gave up playing an instrument, painting, drawing, spending time in nature, or any other activity or interest that you once loved to do, now may be the time to take up that passion again. If you don't remember what it is that you used to be passionate about, you may want to think about the activities or interests that you used to love or the dreams that you always wished you could pursue.
You don't have to neglect your responsibilities to pursue your passions, and you don't have to neglect your commitments to do what you love. When you make an effort to incorporate your interests into your life, the fire within you ignites. You feel excited, inspired, and fed by the flames that are sparked by living your life with passion for what you love.
What do you think?
Getting Back To What You Love
There are times in life when we are committed to pursuing our passions. Every molecule in our body is focused on doing what we love. At other times, necessity and responsibility dictate that we put our dreams aside and do what needs to be done. It is during these moments that we may choose to forget what it is that we love to do. There are many other reasons for why we may leave our passions behind. A hobby may lose its appeal once we've realize it will never turn into our dream job. Someone important to us may keep telling us that our passions are childish and unsuitable - until we finally believe them.
Forgetting about what you love to do can be a form of self-sabotage. If you can forget about your dreams, then you never have to risk failure. But just because we've decided to ignore our passions doesn't mean they no longer exist. Nothing can fill the emptiness that remains in a space vacated by a passion that we have tossed aside. Besides, life is too short to stop doing what you love, and it is never too late to rediscover your favorite things. If you gave up playing an instrument, painting, drawing, spending time in nature, or any other activity or interest that you once loved to do, now may be the time to take up that passion again. If you don't remember what it is that you used to be passionate about, you may want to think about the activities or interests that you used to love or the dreams that you always wished you could pursue.
You don't have to neglect your responsibilities to pursue your passions, and you don't have to neglect your commitments to do what you love. When you make an effort to incorporate your interests into your life, the fire within you ignites. You feel excited, inspired, and fed by the flames that are sparked by living your life with passion for what you love.
What do you think?
Its all in the mind......
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- By Gary
Major James Nesmeth had a dream of improving his golf game - and he developed a unique method of achieving his goal.
Until he devised this method, he was just your average weekend golfer, shooting in mid- to low-nineties. Then, for seven years, he completely quit the game. Never touched a club. Never set foot on a fairway. Ironically, it was during this seven-year break from the game that Major Nesmeth came up with his amazingly effective technique for improving his game - a technique we can all learn from.
In fact, the first time he set foot on a golf course after his hiatus from the game, he shot an astonishing 74! He had cut 20 strokes off his average without having swung a golf club in seven years! Unbelievable. Not only that, but his physical condition had actually deteriorated during those seven years.
What was Major Nesmeth's secret? Visualization.
You see, Major Nesmeth had spent those seven years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam. During those seven years, he was imprisoned in a cage that was approximately four and one-half feet high and five feet long. During almost the
entire time he was imprisoned, he saw no one, talked to no one and experienced no physical activity. During the first few months he did virtually nothing but hope and pray for his release. Then he realized he had to find some way to occupy his mind or he would lose his sanity and probably his life. That's when he learned to visualize.
In his mind, he selected his favorite golf course and started playing golf. Every day, he played a full 18 holes at the imaginary country club of his dreams. He experienced everything to the last detail. He saw himself dressed in his golfing
clothes. He smelled the fragrance of the trees and the freshly trimmed grass. He experienced different weather conditions - windy spring days, overcast winter days, and sunny summer mornings.
In his imagination, every detail of the tee, the individual blades of grass, the trees, the singing birds, the scampering squirrels and the lay of the course became totally real. He felt the grip of the club in his hands. He instructed himself as he practiced smoothing out his down-swing and the follow-through on his shot. Then he watched the ball arc down the exact center of the fairway, bounce a couple of times and roll to the exact spot he had selected, all in his mind.
In the real world, he was in no hurry. He had no place to go. So in his mind he took every step on his way to the ball, just as if he were physically on the course. It took him just as long in imaginary time to play 18 holes as it would have taken
in reality. Not a detail was omitted. Not once did he ever miss a shot, never a hook or a slice, never a missed putt.
Seven days a week. Four hours a day. Eighteen holes. Seven years. Twenty strokes off. Shot a 74.
- Gary, Webmaster of http://www.astrowhiz.com/quotes.html
- By Gary
Major James Nesmeth had a dream of improving his golf game - and he developed a unique method of achieving his goal.
Until he devised this method, he was just your average weekend golfer, shooting in mid- to low-nineties. Then, for seven years, he completely quit the game. Never touched a club. Never set foot on a fairway. Ironically, it was during this seven-year break from the game that Major Nesmeth came up with his amazingly effective technique for improving his game - a technique we can all learn from.
In fact, the first time he set foot on a golf course after his hiatus from the game, he shot an astonishing 74! He had cut 20 strokes off his average without having swung a golf club in seven years! Unbelievable. Not only that, but his physical condition had actually deteriorated during those seven years.
What was Major Nesmeth's secret? Visualization.
You see, Major Nesmeth had spent those seven years as a prisoner of war in North Vietnam. During those seven years, he was imprisoned in a cage that was approximately four and one-half feet high and five feet long. During almost the
entire time he was imprisoned, he saw no one, talked to no one and experienced no physical activity. During the first few months he did virtually nothing but hope and pray for his release. Then he realized he had to find some way to occupy his mind or he would lose his sanity and probably his life. That's when he learned to visualize.
In his mind, he selected his favorite golf course and started playing golf. Every day, he played a full 18 holes at the imaginary country club of his dreams. He experienced everything to the last detail. He saw himself dressed in his golfing
clothes. He smelled the fragrance of the trees and the freshly trimmed grass. He experienced different weather conditions - windy spring days, overcast winter days, and sunny summer mornings.
In his imagination, every detail of the tee, the individual blades of grass, the trees, the singing birds, the scampering squirrels and the lay of the course became totally real. He felt the grip of the club in his hands. He instructed himself as he practiced smoothing out his down-swing and the follow-through on his shot. Then he watched the ball arc down the exact center of the fairway, bounce a couple of times and roll to the exact spot he had selected, all in his mind.
In the real world, he was in no hurry. He had no place to go. So in his mind he took every step on his way to the ball, just as if he were physically on the course. It took him just as long in imaginary time to play 18 holes as it would have taken
in reality. Not a detail was omitted. Not once did he ever miss a shot, never a hook or a slice, never a missed putt.
Seven days a week. Four hours a day. Eighteen holes. Seven years. Twenty strokes off. Shot a 74.
- Gary, Webmaster of http://www.astrowhiz.com/quotes.html
NO AUTHORITY IS HIGHER THAN REALITY
-------------------------------------------------
Truth isn't a matter of your personal viewpoint. Learn to see things as they really are, not as you imagine they are.
Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or who says it. No matter what you believe, it never changes the facts. If they are there, the facts always speak for themselves.
The truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of people. If sixty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.
The sky is no less blue because the blind man does not see it.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Truth isn't a matter of your personal viewpoint. Learn to see things as they really are, not as you imagine they are.
Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or who says it. No matter what you believe, it never changes the facts. If they are there, the facts always speak for themselves.
The truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of people. If sixty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.
The sky is no less blue because the blind man does not see it.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Friday, February 24, 2006
Spiritual Imprints
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Aboriginal Dreamtime
Everything in the natural world leaves its mark on the earth. The Australian Aborigines, who have one of the longest continuous cultural histories of any group on earth, know this. Dreamtime, the spirituality and culture of the Aborigines, explains the origins and culture of the land and its people. In Aboriginal Dreaming, every meaningful activity, event, or life process is believed to leave behind a vibrational residue. Aborigines speak of the seed power deposited on the earth that all natural life brings forth known as jiva or guruwari. As plants leave an image of themselves as seeds, so too do the oceans, the mountains, and the smallest pebble. Everything in nature contains the memory of when they were created and vibrates with that life force.
"Dreaming," in Aboriginal culture, is comprised of the knowledge, faith, and practices derived from the stories of creation and the history of Australia. Dreamtime ceremonies, rituals, stories, and drawings describe the time when humans, plants, and animals were created. Often referred to as the time before time, it was during Dreamtime that the ancestral spirits came to earth in human and other forms, creating rivers, lakes, hills, and deserts. When their work was done, the ancestral spirits became a part of the earth, changing into plants, animals, land, and the sky.
The places the ancestral spirits traveled and where they came to rest was told to the Aborigines through Dreaming. Aborigines know that they do not own the land but are a part of it and that it is their duty to respect and look after the earth. Aboriginal Dreaming acknowledges that the ancestral spirits still reside in the natural world and their imprints resonate everywhere. The past is still alive and breathing today, as it will be in the future.
What do you think?
Aboriginal Dreamtime
Everything in the natural world leaves its mark on the earth. The Australian Aborigines, who have one of the longest continuous cultural histories of any group on earth, know this. Dreamtime, the spirituality and culture of the Aborigines, explains the origins and culture of the land and its people. In Aboriginal Dreaming, every meaningful activity, event, or life process is believed to leave behind a vibrational residue. Aborigines speak of the seed power deposited on the earth that all natural life brings forth known as jiva or guruwari. As plants leave an image of themselves as seeds, so too do the oceans, the mountains, and the smallest pebble. Everything in nature contains the memory of when they were created and vibrates with that life force.
"Dreaming," in Aboriginal culture, is comprised of the knowledge, faith, and practices derived from the stories of creation and the history of Australia. Dreamtime ceremonies, rituals, stories, and drawings describe the time when humans, plants, and animals were created. Often referred to as the time before time, it was during Dreamtime that the ancestral spirits came to earth in human and other forms, creating rivers, lakes, hills, and deserts. When their work was done, the ancestral spirits became a part of the earth, changing into plants, animals, land, and the sky.
The places the ancestral spirits traveled and where they came to rest was told to the Aborigines through Dreaming. Aborigines know that they do not own the land but are a part of it and that it is their duty to respect and look after the earth. Aboriginal Dreaming acknowledges that the ancestral spirits still reside in the natural world and their imprints resonate everywhere. The past is still alive and breathing today, as it will be in the future.
What do you think?
Make The Call
-------------------------------------------------
by Michael D. Hargrove
This story you are about to read is true and is dedicated to the memory of Gayle Belnap.
"Make The Call" is an exercise in which I ask the audience to imagine; you are on a 747 en route to Europe. You're traveling alone. It's a normal flight in every way. You settle down for a pleasant but rather long flight. About fifty minutes into it, you notice a slight vibration in the plane, but it's barely noticeable, as a matter of fact, no one else is noticing it so you don't give it any more thought.
An hour later, you notice the vibration again. It seems to have gotten a little bit worse, but then again maybe not. You figure it's nothing and let it go. You don't even think of the vibration any more until it suddenly gets a lot more severe, and then there's a loud POP! and the plane makes a sudden and violent dip to the right and then levels off again under control. There are a few screams and some panic among your fellow passengers until the captain gets on the intercom and explains that you've just lost an engine but not to worry because this plane is designed to fly safely with the remaining three. You can make it to Europe without any difficulty whatsoever.
This seems to calm everyone down and after a minute or two, the flight again becomes a perfectly normal one.
That is until the captain gets on the intercom once more, "Folks, we have discovered a problem. Evidently, when our number two engine let go, it did so in a very violent way. It has severed a fuel line. It's obvious now that we won't have enough fuel to get to Europe or to turn around and land. So we will be forced into making a water landing."
After a seemingly endless pause, he continued, "We've decided to proceed on to Europe as this will be the shortest distance for safety efforts to reach us. We'll continue to fly as long as we can to shorten the distance for rescue and to rid the plane of as much fuel as possible to help reduce the risk of fire. As we get closer to the time, we'll go over all the safety procedures you will need to survive. Until then folks, please remain in your seats and try to stay calm. Thank you."
The first thing that strikes you as odd is how very quiet the plane has become. With the exception of a couple of muffled sobs, everyone is surprisingly calm. That is until some genius decides to grab one of the phones and start to dial feverishly which triggers a mad dash for the remaining phones. Several arguments and even two fistfights ensue. The captain bursts out from the cockpit and orders everyone to get off the phones and back into their seats.
He retreats to the cockpit for a few minutes, returns, and announces; "Okay folks; we're going to do this in an orderly fashion. Everyone will get the same chance. We have determined, that with the fuel remaining, the rate of fuel loss, and the number of passengers aboard, each of you will be allowed to make one phone call. It can be up to two minutes long but not any longer. And that does NOT mean two one-minute calls or four 30 second calls. One call per person and one call only. We'll do this alphabetically within each row. Our stewards will assist you."
I then ask each of the workshop attendees to commit to paper who it is they'd call. And once everyone's written down the name of their special someone, I then ask them to commit to paper exactly what it is they would tell them.
I wait several minutes until everyone in the entire room has completed the exercise.
Then I ask them, "So what are you waiting for?"
I point out that we don't really need to be on that plane to make this call, do we?
Then I give them their homework assignment: "Today . . . make the call." I gently remind them that they'll get out of this only as much as they put into it and not to blow off this opportunity to truly make a difference.
One morning, before the beginning of one of my workshops, Mike Belnap (who had attended this particular workshop twice before) came up to me with something really important he had to share. He said that it was private, however, and asked if we could find the time to break away from everyone for a few minutes. I told him that perhaps during one of the breaks or during lunch we could be alone. An opportunity didn't present itself, however, until after the workshop was over and everyone else was filling out their evaluations.
Mike approached me at the front of the room and first commented on how I hadn't done the "Make The Call" exercise like I had the previous year. I immediately plunged into a well thought out, thoroughly competent explanation of how that particular exercise wasn't really appropriate for a large group of sales people, who after all, only came for closing skills, objection word tracks, or the like. I told him that I had only used "Make The Call" sporadically around the country, and simply wasn't convinced of its relevance to this type of audience.
While I was spouting this professional trainer's insight, Mike waited patiently without comment or facial expression until I had finished. The only remark he made was a mild, "Oh, I see." He then proceeded to tell me his story.
He tells me, "First, I want you to know that I have an absolutely wonderful marriage. As a matter of fact, a few weeks from now, God willing, my wife and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. My marriage has always been strong."
I smiled and said, "Congratulations."
Mike went on, "So when you asked us last year to write down what we'd say during our one phone call, I have to admit that I felt really silly. I was thinking to myself that she knows all of this already. But I trust you Michael, so I did it anyway. After the workshop, I pulled off the road to actually make the call, like you suggested, and both my wife and I had a good chuckle but I got it all out and told her everything I had written down."
"Later on that evening we had a fabulous time together. What a wonderful night! We spent three or four hours just hugging, laughing, reaffirming our love and telling each other how much in love we have been all these years. It was a very special night in an absolutely wonderful marriage."
By this time, two female co-workers of Mike's had joined our conversation but he didn't seem to mind much. I also noticed that he had started to noticeably tear up as he was telling me this story. Actually, the ladies were too. I had just started to worry about that when Mike hit me with it.
"Five days later, five days from the day of your workshop last year Michael, my wife and I were in a terrible car accident, a really bad one. I was in the hospital for several weeks. My wife, Gayle . . . well . . . Gayle is still in a coma."
With that, all four of us broke down, and cried. We sort of group hugged each other for a few moments. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain Mike must have been feeling.
When we eventually pulled away from each other, and after drying his eyes, Mike spoke again, "Michael, I want you to know something. I'm not crying right now because I may never get to speak with Gayle again. Frankly, I don't have any more tears left for that. I'm crying because I'm so very grateful that I had the chance to tell her how important she is to me. No matter what happens, I know that she knows how much I love her and will always love her. And I want to thank you for that. You gave me the opportunity to tell her." I thanked him. He hugged me again.
Now the question as to whom actually creates opportunities and who is merely the tool of the One who creates opportunities needs no debate as far as I'm concerned. And I don't ever remember feeling as small as I did at that moment. I felt like a thief. I felt that I had just stolen from the rest of the audience that day (not to mention all the other audiences) for not including the "Make the Call" exercise.
Later that week, I ended up personally buying back the entire inventory of newly revised workbooks we had just printed and then I redid them to include the "Make the Call" assignment. This past year, I've made a point to apologize to everyone who had attended this particular workshop before, just in case I had chosen not to do the exercise in their city. I've also been able to recount Mike's story (with his permission) so nobody dismisses this activity as simply trivial.
So, friend, now it's your turn. Take a moment right now and ask yourself, if you were on that plane, who would you call? Then, what would you tell them? And, how soon will you make the call?
About the Author:
©1999 by Michael D. Hargrove and Bottom Line Underwriters, Inc. All rights reserved. Michael D. Hargrove is President of Bottom Line Underwriters Inc.
by Michael D. Hargrove
This story you are about to read is true and is dedicated to the memory of Gayle Belnap.
"Make The Call" is an exercise in which I ask the audience to imagine; you are on a 747 en route to Europe. You're traveling alone. It's a normal flight in every way. You settle down for a pleasant but rather long flight. About fifty minutes into it, you notice a slight vibration in the plane, but it's barely noticeable, as a matter of fact, no one else is noticing it so you don't give it any more thought.
An hour later, you notice the vibration again. It seems to have gotten a little bit worse, but then again maybe not. You figure it's nothing and let it go. You don't even think of the vibration any more until it suddenly gets a lot more severe, and then there's a loud POP! and the plane makes a sudden and violent dip to the right and then levels off again under control. There are a few screams and some panic among your fellow passengers until the captain gets on the intercom and explains that you've just lost an engine but not to worry because this plane is designed to fly safely with the remaining three. You can make it to Europe without any difficulty whatsoever.
This seems to calm everyone down and after a minute or two, the flight again becomes a perfectly normal one.
That is until the captain gets on the intercom once more, "Folks, we have discovered a problem. Evidently, when our number two engine let go, it did so in a very violent way. It has severed a fuel line. It's obvious now that we won't have enough fuel to get to Europe or to turn around and land. So we will be forced into making a water landing."
After a seemingly endless pause, he continued, "We've decided to proceed on to Europe as this will be the shortest distance for safety efforts to reach us. We'll continue to fly as long as we can to shorten the distance for rescue and to rid the plane of as much fuel as possible to help reduce the risk of fire. As we get closer to the time, we'll go over all the safety procedures you will need to survive. Until then folks, please remain in your seats and try to stay calm. Thank you."
The first thing that strikes you as odd is how very quiet the plane has become. With the exception of a couple of muffled sobs, everyone is surprisingly calm. That is until some genius decides to grab one of the phones and start to dial feverishly which triggers a mad dash for the remaining phones. Several arguments and even two fistfights ensue. The captain bursts out from the cockpit and orders everyone to get off the phones and back into their seats.
He retreats to the cockpit for a few minutes, returns, and announces; "Okay folks; we're going to do this in an orderly fashion. Everyone will get the same chance. We have determined, that with the fuel remaining, the rate of fuel loss, and the number of passengers aboard, each of you will be allowed to make one phone call. It can be up to two minutes long but not any longer. And that does NOT mean two one-minute calls or four 30 second calls. One call per person and one call only. We'll do this alphabetically within each row. Our stewards will assist you."
I then ask each of the workshop attendees to commit to paper who it is they'd call. And once everyone's written down the name of their special someone, I then ask them to commit to paper exactly what it is they would tell them.
I wait several minutes until everyone in the entire room has completed the exercise.
Then I ask them, "So what are you waiting for?"
I point out that we don't really need to be on that plane to make this call, do we?
Then I give them their homework assignment: "Today . . . make the call." I gently remind them that they'll get out of this only as much as they put into it and not to blow off this opportunity to truly make a difference.
One morning, before the beginning of one of my workshops, Mike Belnap (who had attended this particular workshop twice before) came up to me with something really important he had to share. He said that it was private, however, and asked if we could find the time to break away from everyone for a few minutes. I told him that perhaps during one of the breaks or during lunch we could be alone. An opportunity didn't present itself, however, until after the workshop was over and everyone else was filling out their evaluations.
Mike approached me at the front of the room and first commented on how I hadn't done the "Make The Call" exercise like I had the previous year. I immediately plunged into a well thought out, thoroughly competent explanation of how that particular exercise wasn't really appropriate for a large group of sales people, who after all, only came for closing skills, objection word tracks, or the like. I told him that I had only used "Make The Call" sporadically around the country, and simply wasn't convinced of its relevance to this type of audience.
While I was spouting this professional trainer's insight, Mike waited patiently without comment or facial expression until I had finished. The only remark he made was a mild, "Oh, I see." He then proceeded to tell me his story.
He tells me, "First, I want you to know that I have an absolutely wonderful marriage. As a matter of fact, a few weeks from now, God willing, my wife and I will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. My marriage has always been strong."
I smiled and said, "Congratulations."
Mike went on, "So when you asked us last year to write down what we'd say during our one phone call, I have to admit that I felt really silly. I was thinking to myself that she knows all of this already. But I trust you Michael, so I did it anyway. After the workshop, I pulled off the road to actually make the call, like you suggested, and both my wife and I had a good chuckle but I got it all out and told her everything I had written down."
"Later on that evening we had a fabulous time together. What a wonderful night! We spent three or four hours just hugging, laughing, reaffirming our love and telling each other how much in love we have been all these years. It was a very special night in an absolutely wonderful marriage."
By this time, two female co-workers of Mike's had joined our conversation but he didn't seem to mind much. I also noticed that he had started to noticeably tear up as he was telling me this story. Actually, the ladies were too. I had just started to worry about that when Mike hit me with it.
"Five days later, five days from the day of your workshop last year Michael, my wife and I were in a terrible car accident, a really bad one. I was in the hospital for several weeks. My wife, Gayle . . . well . . . Gayle is still in a coma."
With that, all four of us broke down, and cried. We sort of group hugged each other for a few moments. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain Mike must have been feeling.
When we eventually pulled away from each other, and after drying his eyes, Mike spoke again, "Michael, I want you to know something. I'm not crying right now because I may never get to speak with Gayle again. Frankly, I don't have any more tears left for that. I'm crying because I'm so very grateful that I had the chance to tell her how important she is to me. No matter what happens, I know that she knows how much I love her and will always love her. And I want to thank you for that. You gave me the opportunity to tell her." I thanked him. He hugged me again.
Now the question as to whom actually creates opportunities and who is merely the tool of the One who creates opportunities needs no debate as far as I'm concerned. And I don't ever remember feeling as small as I did at that moment. I felt like a thief. I felt that I had just stolen from the rest of the audience that day (not to mention all the other audiences) for not including the "Make the Call" exercise.
Later that week, I ended up personally buying back the entire inventory of newly revised workbooks we had just printed and then I redid them to include the "Make the Call" assignment. This past year, I've made a point to apologize to everyone who had attended this particular workshop before, just in case I had chosen not to do the exercise in their city. I've also been able to recount Mike's story (with his permission) so nobody dismisses this activity as simply trivial.
So, friend, now it's your turn. Take a moment right now and ask yourself, if you were on that plane, who would you call? Then, what would you tell them? And, how soon will you make the call?
About the Author:
©1999 by Michael D. Hargrove and Bottom Line Underwriters, Inc. All rights reserved. Michael D. Hargrove is President of Bottom Line Underwriters Inc.
DON'T BELIEVE IN MIRACLES, DEPEND ON THEM
------------------------------------------------
You don't need an explanation for everything. There are such things as miracles, events for which there are no ready explanations.
Future knowledge may explain these events quite simply. Any form of sufficiently advanced technology can be quite indistinguishable from magic when it's introduced for the first time.
Seeing, hearing, feeling are all miracles as well as each part of you. Seeing is not always believing. You know much more than you understand.
Have the vision to see invisible things.
©2006 by Max Steingart
You don't need an explanation for everything. There are such things as miracles, events for which there are no ready explanations.
Future knowledge may explain these events quite simply. Any form of sufficiently advanced technology can be quite indistinguishable from magic when it's introduced for the first time.
Seeing, hearing, feeling are all miracles as well as each part of you. Seeing is not always believing. You know much more than you understand.
Have the vision to see invisible things.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Evolution Through Exploration
------------------------------------------------
Purpose
Most living things belong to a particular soul group and are born knowing their purpose in life. An animal will spend its day foraging for food, taking care of itself and its young, and creating a home. No one tells an animal to do this, yet it instinctively knows how. Humans, for the most part, are not born consciously knowing what their purpose is. Purpose gives our life meaning. When you discover your purpose, you can live your life with intention and make choices that serve your objective for why you are here on the planet. Finding your purpose is not always easy. You must embrace life wholeheartedly, explore many different pathways, and allow yourself to grow.
Your purpose is as unique as you are and will evolve as you move through life. You don't need anyone's permission to fulfill your purpose, and no one can tell you what that purpose is. Finding and fulfilling your purpose can be a lifelong endeavor. To figure out what your purpose is, ask yourself what drives you - not what forces you out of bed in the morning, but what makes you glad to be alive. Make a list of activities that you wish you were involved in or think about a career path that you would love to embark upon. These are the endeavors that can help you fulfill your purpose and bring you the most satisfaction.
Picture yourself working on projects that don't interest you or fulfill your purpose, yet they help satisfy your basic survival needs. Imagine how living this way each day would make you feel. Next, picture yourself devoting your time to projects that spark your imagination, inspire, excite, and satisfy you. More often than not, these activities are some of the ways that you can fulfill your life purpose. Time spent on these endeavors will never feel like a waste. Live your life with purpose, and you will feel significant and capable because every action you take and each choice you make will have meaning to it.
What do you think?
Purpose
Most living things belong to a particular soul group and are born knowing their purpose in life. An animal will spend its day foraging for food, taking care of itself and its young, and creating a home. No one tells an animal to do this, yet it instinctively knows how. Humans, for the most part, are not born consciously knowing what their purpose is. Purpose gives our life meaning. When you discover your purpose, you can live your life with intention and make choices that serve your objective for why you are here on the planet. Finding your purpose is not always easy. You must embrace life wholeheartedly, explore many different pathways, and allow yourself to grow.
Your purpose is as unique as you are and will evolve as you move through life. You don't need anyone's permission to fulfill your purpose, and no one can tell you what that purpose is. Finding and fulfilling your purpose can be a lifelong endeavor. To figure out what your purpose is, ask yourself what drives you - not what forces you out of bed in the morning, but what makes you glad to be alive. Make a list of activities that you wish you were involved in or think about a career path that you would love to embark upon. These are the endeavors that can help you fulfill your purpose and bring you the most satisfaction.
Picture yourself working on projects that don't interest you or fulfill your purpose, yet they help satisfy your basic survival needs. Imagine how living this way each day would make you feel. Next, picture yourself devoting your time to projects that spark your imagination, inspire, excite, and satisfy you. More often than not, these activities are some of the ways that you can fulfill your life purpose. Time spent on these endeavors will never feel like a waste. Live your life with purpose, and you will feel significant and capable because every action you take and each choice you make will have meaning to it.
What do you think?
Eight Tips to Eliminate Your Energy Drainers
----------------------------------------------------
– By Debbie Mandel
Are you feeling tired, the kind of tired where nothing really matters anymore? Have your energy levels dipped to the point that you feel like you are dragging around a leg iron? It’s time to relax and be patient. Save your energy the way water does when it cannot go over an obstacle. Water waits for the rain to fall, so it can collect itself and rise; for at this point it will not hesïtate to flow over a rock in the creek or go around it. Water finds its path. Rainier Maria Rilke reminds us: “How deep is the reservoir from where your life flows.”
Emotional fatigue usually correlates with disappointment. You might feel drained because you have been begging for scraps of attention, approval, financial security, and love. Ironically, you nevër had to beg in the first place because you already possess all these jewels. Maybe you don’t know where to look for them.
The antidote to fatigue is to get all fired up and forge your own universe. Your beliefs control your world; whether you believe that you can or can’t do something, you will prove yourself right! Reboot your sense of purpose and see if that doesn’t jumpstart your energy. Start dreaming and reframing your thinking to empower yourself to move in a more hopeful direction. Make sure to be specific about what you envision for yourself. While you are involved in the process of self-excavation, hëre are some suggestions to help you get fired up:
* Have a good fight! Perhaps you are swallowing too much, suppressing your needs for the sake of others, being far too accommodating. Conflict is not a wïn or losë situation. Conflict opens the door to change.
* Don’t be an unrealistic optimist! Perhaps you have expected too much and so your disappointment is all the greater. Aim for small successes. Each mini- success will fuel your enthusiasm and drive you to achieve more.
* Build up your self-concept. Maybe you have been talking yourself down internally or internalizing only the critical comments about your endeavors. Most of us tend to focus on what we don’t have; in other words, we think about that single negative remark over and over again, forgetting about all the compliments we receive. Every day list all the compliments people give you. Soon you will have a more accurate self-concept.
* Are you fighting too much? I know I told you to have a good fight, but are you expending too much energy proving that you are always right? Try to wïn by losing – apologize when you are wrong and wïn.
* Tighten your mind and stop wasting your energy. Relax during the in-between stages, loosen your muscles, and use your strength of focus when you need it.
* Don’t let others steal your time. Get a big Do Not Disturb sign and put your phöne machine on. Spend your time wisely instead of wasting it.
* Be less involved in the product, the outcome, and more involved in the process.
* Whatever you do, experience the present – don’t dilute it!
About the Author:
Debbie Mandel, MA, is the author of "Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout and Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul" - http://www.turnonyourinnerlight.com/page7.html#InnerLight - a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, personal trainer, and mind/body lecturer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City, produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/TV and print media. To learn more, visit http://www.turnonyourinnerlight.com
– By Debbie Mandel
Are you feeling tired, the kind of tired where nothing really matters anymore? Have your energy levels dipped to the point that you feel like you are dragging around a leg iron? It’s time to relax and be patient. Save your energy the way water does when it cannot go over an obstacle. Water waits for the rain to fall, so it can collect itself and rise; for at this point it will not hesïtate to flow over a rock in the creek or go around it. Water finds its path. Rainier Maria Rilke reminds us: “How deep is the reservoir from where your life flows.”
Emotional fatigue usually correlates with disappointment. You might feel drained because you have been begging for scraps of attention, approval, financial security, and love. Ironically, you nevër had to beg in the first place because you already possess all these jewels. Maybe you don’t know where to look for them.
The antidote to fatigue is to get all fired up and forge your own universe. Your beliefs control your world; whether you believe that you can or can’t do something, you will prove yourself right! Reboot your sense of purpose and see if that doesn’t jumpstart your energy. Start dreaming and reframing your thinking to empower yourself to move in a more hopeful direction. Make sure to be specific about what you envision for yourself. While you are involved in the process of self-excavation, hëre are some suggestions to help you get fired up:
* Have a good fight! Perhaps you are swallowing too much, suppressing your needs for the sake of others, being far too accommodating. Conflict is not a wïn or losë situation. Conflict opens the door to change.
* Don’t be an unrealistic optimist! Perhaps you have expected too much and so your disappointment is all the greater. Aim for small successes. Each mini- success will fuel your enthusiasm and drive you to achieve more.
* Build up your self-concept. Maybe you have been talking yourself down internally or internalizing only the critical comments about your endeavors. Most of us tend to focus on what we don’t have; in other words, we think about that single negative remark over and over again, forgetting about all the compliments we receive. Every day list all the compliments people give you. Soon you will have a more accurate self-concept.
* Are you fighting too much? I know I told you to have a good fight, but are you expending too much energy proving that you are always right? Try to wïn by losing – apologize when you are wrong and wïn.
* Tighten your mind and stop wasting your energy. Relax during the in-between stages, loosen your muscles, and use your strength of focus when you need it.
* Don’t let others steal your time. Get a big Do Not Disturb sign and put your phöne machine on. Spend your time wisely instead of wasting it.
* Be less involved in the product, the outcome, and more involved in the process.
* Whatever you do, experience the present – don’t dilute it!
About the Author:
Debbie Mandel, MA, is the author of "Changing Habits: The Caregivers' Total Workout and Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul" - http://www.turnonyourinnerlight.com/page7.html#InnerLight - a stress-reduction specialist, motivational speaker, personal trainer, and mind/body lecturer. She is the host of the weekly Turn On Your Inner Light Show on WGBB AM1240 in New York City, produces a weekly wellness newsletter, and has been featured on radio/TV and print media. To learn more, visit http://www.turnonyourinnerlight.com
THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS IS DESIRE
-------------------------------------------------
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain or other circumstances can be there. But, if you want something badly enough, you'll find a way to get it done.
If you're willing to pay the price any of your circumstances will change. If you want something badly enough, you're sure to get it. Reality forms around your commitment to succeed. Your desires will, in time, externalize themselves into concrete fact.
You only have to love a thing greatly to get it. Desire is the fire of life.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain or other circumstances can be there. But, if you want something badly enough, you'll find a way to get it done.
If you're willing to pay the price any of your circumstances will change. If you want something badly enough, you're sure to get it. Reality forms around your commitment to succeed. Your desires will, in time, externalize themselves into concrete fact.
You only have to love a thing greatly to get it. Desire is the fire of life.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Ways We Love
-------------------------------------------------
Choosing To Have A Mate Or Being Single
The way we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to make a living, maintain our health, or entertain ourselves. Some choose to seek out a mate and enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.
Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself. You have more time and space to figure out what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else's choices in mind. Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment's notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms. Companionship, support, and affection can be found while spending quality time with friends, colleagues, and relatives. There is also the fun that comes with being able to date many different people without having to make a commitment. Choosing to have a mate, on the other hand, brings with it an opportunity to share your life with another person. There is comfort in the knowledge that you are facing the world with someone as a united front. When life is challenging, you are in a position to strengthen, as well as give each other comfort. There is also the inevitable transformation of self that comes from allowing another person to so intimately be a part of your life.
Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can transition between wanting to be with another person and wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives. Whether you seek out a mate or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you.
What do you think?
Choosing To Have A Mate Or Being Single
The way we choose to love can be as unique as the way we choose to make a living, maintain our health, or entertain ourselves. Some choose to seek out a mate and enter into a partnership with a special individual, while others find immense satisfaction in staying single. There is no right or wrong way to be in your life when it comes to deciding whether or not to be in a relationship, even though society tends to put an emphasis on romantic partnerships. Whether you choose to go through life as part of a romantic relationship or live as a single unit, there are benefits to both. Feel free to be comfortable with whatever choice is right for you.
Choosing to be single is a wonderful way to spend time discovering yourself. You have more time and space to figure out what and how you want your life to be without having to keep someone else's choices in mind. Being single gives you the freedom to do what you want at a moment's notice and the pride that comes with facing life on your own terms. Companionship, support, and affection can be found while spending quality time with friends, colleagues, and relatives. There is also the fun that comes with being able to date many different people without having to make a commitment. Choosing to have a mate, on the other hand, brings with it an opportunity to share your life with another person. There is comfort in the knowledge that you are facing the world with someone as a united front. When life is challenging, you are in a position to strengthen, as well as give each other comfort. There is also the inevitable transformation of self that comes from allowing another person to so intimately be a part of your life.
Remember that what is right for one person may not be right for another, and people can transition between wanting to be with another person and wanting to be alone many times over the course of their lives. Whether you seek out a mate or live the single life, embracing it fully will ensure that either choice is as fulfilling as possible for you.
What do you think?
Spirit-Centered Listening
How to Facilitate The Flow of Spiritual Connection
----------------------------------------------------
– By Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
“Spirit-centered listening” occurs when you listen to other people while being aware of your spiritual essence and theirs. Another way to say it is that you listen from your spiritual center rather than your ego center. When you practice this technique, you create a space that draws the other person closer to his or her own spiritual center. And when you can practice it with your lovër, your communication will become a spiritual practice in itself, continually deepening your connection with yourselves and each other.
Spirit-centered listening varies quite a bit from ego-centered listening and produces very different results; however, it’s important to note that neither are right or wrong. It’s normal and natural for all of us to slip into ego-centered listening – the problem is when we get stuck in it and don’t know how to get out. One of our goals in our book “Spirit-Centered Relationships” is to show you a liberating alternative when you find yourself locking into ego-centered listening.
A great gift of deeper spiritual awareness in yourself is the ability to find your way back to that awareness when you’ve lost track of it. As you feel more centered in the sweet sensation of clear spirit inside you, you’ll naturally become more adept at finding your way back to that sensation when it gets overshadowed by the sock and awe of daily living.
The word spirit is derived from words that mean “breath” in ancient languages. Like your breathing, your spiritual essence is always there nurturing you, even when you’re sound asleep. Being in the grip of ego-centered listening, on the other hand, is a little bit like dozing off. When your ego is busily defending you, you’re out of touch with the feelings and spiritual essence of the other person...as well as your own. Like nighttime slumber, this “ego sleep” is natural and normal and probably hëre to stay. It’s best to make friends with it and forgive yourself in advance for drifting into it, since you’ll be more likely to forgive others who drift into it while they’re listening to you.
As you grow more secure in feeling your own spiritual essence, you’ll probably doze off less into the grip of ego-centered listening. Give yourself plenty of loving acceptance for it, though, because we can tell you from much experience that criticizing yourself for these catnaps is no help at all in making you doze less. In fact, beating yourself up for slipping into ego-centered listening has about the same positive effect as a dog chasing its own tail.
As your ability grows in spirit-centered listening, you’ll learn to love and accept yourself more and more. That’s because the spirit holds everything in its embrace, including feelings, needs, old patterns, slip-ups, and recoveries. As your awareness of your spiritual essence grows, you’ll be less tempted to grab onto an unpleasant emotion or an old pattern of defensiveness. It just won’t feel as good to do it anymore – it will feel much better to rest in the sweet sot of spirit, and from that place of spacious embrace to hold lightly all the comings and goings of your ego.
Ego Versus Spiritual
The word ego comes from Latin and simply means “I.” When you think of yourself as “I” or “me,” you’re setting yourself apart from other people and the world around you. It’s essential that you learn how to do this early on in life – if you can’t distinguish yourself from walls and trees and cars, for example, your journey on earth is likely to be harsh, calamitous, and brief. On the other hand, it’s also essential that you learn to soften and melt the boundaries of your separate “I” so that you can enjoy the miracle of merging with loved ones and the world around you. If your ego rules the roost, you won’t get frëe of it to enjoy the blessings of union; as a result, you’ll miss out on much of the richness of life and love.
When your ego and spirit are in harmony with each other, the deeper magic of human existence comes to life. To feel a sold sense of “I-ness” while enjoying a deep, connected “us-ness” with your beloved is the essence of a spirit-centered relationship. And spirit-centered listening is a key practice in making this kind of relationship possible.
(Excerpt from “Spirit-Centered Relationships” – By Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks) http://www.hendricks.com/specialoffer.html
About the Authors:
For today only (February 14th), Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks have meticulously and considerately created a unique Valentine’s Day offer that has nevër been offered before! This offer has the potential to transform your love relationship to a level that is deeply enriching and totally satisfying. This is where you need to go right nöw: http://www.hendricks.com/specialoffer.html
----------------------------------------------------
– By Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks
“Spirit-centered listening” occurs when you listen to other people while being aware of your spiritual essence and theirs. Another way to say it is that you listen from your spiritual center rather than your ego center. When you practice this technique, you create a space that draws the other person closer to his or her own spiritual center. And when you can practice it with your lovër, your communication will become a spiritual practice in itself, continually deepening your connection with yourselves and each other.
Spirit-centered listening varies quite a bit from ego-centered listening and produces very different results; however, it’s important to note that neither are right or wrong. It’s normal and natural for all of us to slip into ego-centered listening – the problem is when we get stuck in it and don’t know how to get out. One of our goals in our book “Spirit-Centered Relationships” is to show you a liberating alternative when you find yourself locking into ego-centered listening.
A great gift of deeper spiritual awareness in yourself is the ability to find your way back to that awareness when you’ve lost track of it. As you feel more centered in the sweet sensation of clear spirit inside you, you’ll naturally become more adept at finding your way back to that sensation when it gets overshadowed by the sock and awe of daily living.
The word spirit is derived from words that mean “breath” in ancient languages. Like your breathing, your spiritual essence is always there nurturing you, even when you’re sound asleep. Being in the grip of ego-centered listening, on the other hand, is a little bit like dozing off. When your ego is busily defending you, you’re out of touch with the feelings and spiritual essence of the other person...as well as your own. Like nighttime slumber, this “ego sleep” is natural and normal and probably hëre to stay. It’s best to make friends with it and forgive yourself in advance for drifting into it, since you’ll be more likely to forgive others who drift into it while they’re listening to you.
As you grow more secure in feeling your own spiritual essence, you’ll probably doze off less into the grip of ego-centered listening. Give yourself plenty of loving acceptance for it, though, because we can tell you from much experience that criticizing yourself for these catnaps is no help at all in making you doze less. In fact, beating yourself up for slipping into ego-centered listening has about the same positive effect as a dog chasing its own tail.
As your ability grows in spirit-centered listening, you’ll learn to love and accept yourself more and more. That’s because the spirit holds everything in its embrace, including feelings, needs, old patterns, slip-ups, and recoveries. As your awareness of your spiritual essence grows, you’ll be less tempted to grab onto an unpleasant emotion or an old pattern of defensiveness. It just won’t feel as good to do it anymore – it will feel much better to rest in the sweet sot of spirit, and from that place of spacious embrace to hold lightly all the comings and goings of your ego.
Ego Versus Spiritual
The word ego comes from Latin and simply means “I.” When you think of yourself as “I” or “me,” you’re setting yourself apart from other people and the world around you. It’s essential that you learn how to do this early on in life – if you can’t distinguish yourself from walls and trees and cars, for example, your journey on earth is likely to be harsh, calamitous, and brief. On the other hand, it’s also essential that you learn to soften and melt the boundaries of your separate “I” so that you can enjoy the miracle of merging with loved ones and the world around you. If your ego rules the roost, you won’t get frëe of it to enjoy the blessings of union; as a result, you’ll miss out on much of the richness of life and love.
When your ego and spirit are in harmony with each other, the deeper magic of human existence comes to life. To feel a sold sense of “I-ness” while enjoying a deep, connected “us-ness” with your beloved is the essence of a spirit-centered relationship. And spirit-centered listening is a key practice in making this kind of relationship possible.
(Excerpt from “Spirit-Centered Relationships” – By Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks) http://www.hendricks.com/specialoffer.html
About the Authors:
For today only (February 14th), Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks have meticulously and considerately created a unique Valentine’s Day offer that has nevër been offered before! This offer has the potential to transform your love relationship to a level that is deeply enriching and totally satisfying. This is where you need to go right nöw: http://www.hendricks.com/specialoffer.html
ACCEPT CHANGE WITH A SMILE
------------------------------------------------
Sooner or later, you'll experience a crisis in your life, and how you meet it will determine your future happiness and success. Since the beginning of time, everyone has been called upon to meet such a crisis.
A closer look will show you that most "crisis situations" are opportunities to either advance or stay where you are. In fact, most changes in your life will take place out of either "inspiration" or "desperation."
Whatever comes your way, give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Your personal growth is the process of responding positively to change.
A precious stone cannot be polished without friction, nor humanity perfected without trials.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Sooner or later, you'll experience a crisis in your life, and how you meet it will determine your future happiness and success. Since the beginning of time, everyone has been called upon to meet such a crisis.
A closer look will show you that most "crisis situations" are opportunities to either advance or stay where you are. In fact, most changes in your life will take place out of either "inspiration" or "desperation."
Whatever comes your way, give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Your personal growth is the process of responding positively to change.
A precious stone cannot be polished without friction, nor humanity perfected without trials.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
The Weight Of Objects
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Clearing Your Space For Change
In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it's true that the ownership of "stuff" can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us.
It's not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don't keep the gifts they've given us. It's easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain. However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may "protect" you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage.
When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you'll have space to create the life that you desire.
What do you think?
Clearing Your Space For Change
In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it's true that the ownership of "stuff" can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us.
It's not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don't keep the gifts they've given us. It's easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain. However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may "protect" you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage.
When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you'll have space to create the life that you desire.
What do you think?
Don't Hope Friend...Decide
------------------------------------------------
- by Michael Hargrove
While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about. You know, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly? Well, this one occurred a mere two feet away from me! Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.
First, he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, and movingly loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, diverted his eyes, and replied softly, "Me too, Dad!"
Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe 9) and while cupping his son's face in his hands he said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. His son said nothing. No reply was necessary.
While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one and a half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi baby girl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder and remained motionless in total pure contentment.
After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then quietly said, "I love you so much!". They stared into each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant, they reminded me of newlyweds but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't be. I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?"
"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those." he replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face.
"Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile and told me, "Two whole days!"
Two days?! I was stunned! I was certain by the intensity of the greeting I just witnessed that he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months, and I know my expression betrayed me. So, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"
The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with an intensity that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope friend...decide." Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!". With that, he and his family turned and energetically strode away together.
I was still watching that special man and his exceptional family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?" Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"
About the Author:
© Copyright 1997 by Michael D. Hargrove. All rights reserved. Used with author's permission.
- by Michael Hargrove
While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life changing experiences that you hear other people talk about. You know, the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly? Well, this one occurred a mere two feet away from me! Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.
First, he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, and movingly loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other's face, I heard the father say, "It's so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!" His son smiled somewhat shyly, diverted his eyes, and replied softly, "Me too, Dad!"
Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe 9) and while cupping his son's face in his hands he said, "You're already quite the young man. I love you very much Zach!" They too hugged a most loving, tender hug. His son said nothing. No reply was necessary.
While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one and a half) was squirming excitedly in her mother's arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, "Hi baby girl!" as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder and remained motionless in total pure contentment.
After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, "I've saved the best for last!" and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then quietly said, "I love you so much!". They stared into each other's eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands. For an instant, they reminded me of newlyweds but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn't be. I puzzled about it for a moment, then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm's length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I were invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, "Wow! How long have you two been married?"
"Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those." he replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife's face.
"Well then, how long have you been away?" I asked. The man finally looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile and told me, "Two whole days!"
Two days?! I was stunned! I was certain by the intensity of the greeting I just witnessed that he'd been gone for at least several weeks, if not months, and I know my expression betrayed me. So, I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), "I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!"
The man suddenly stopped smiling. He looked me straight in the eye, and with an intensity that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, "Don't hope friend...decide." Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, "God bless!". With that, he and his family turned and energetically strode away together.
I was still watching that special man and his exceptional family walk just out of sight when my friend came up to me and asked, "What'cha looking at?" Without hesitating, and with a curious sense of certainty, I replied, "My future!"
About the Author:
© Copyright 1997 by Michael D. Hargrove. All rights reserved. Used with author's permission.
YOU ONLY GET TO KEEP WHAT YOU GIVE AWAY
-------------------------------------------------
It's a universal law: You have to give before you get. You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest. The more you sow, the more you will reap. In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.
The law works to give you back more then you have sown. The giver's harvest is always full. Those that obtain have little. Those who scatter have much.
Nature does not give to those who will not spend.
©2006 by Max Steingart
It's a universal law: You have to give before you get. You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest. The more you sow, the more you will reap. In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.
The law works to give you back more then you have sown. The giver's harvest is always full. Those that obtain have little. Those who scatter have much.
Nature does not give to those who will not spend.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Monday, February 20, 2006
Making Fun
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Finding Joy In Meaningless Tasks
Spending an afternoon working on the car, gardening, or even cleaning the house can be fun when we have an interest in the project. Yet, we can also find joy in the chores and tasks we don't especially like. All we need is a change of attitude, a different approach, a little music, or some help from friends, and the tasks or responsibilities that we perceive as tedious can become a source of pleasure.
Most of us tend to put off what it is that we don't want to do. Yet, one of the best approaches to an unpleasant task or dull chore is to dive right in and be fully mindful of what it is that you are doing. You may not perceive washing the kitchen floor as enjoyable, but it can be if you view it as a loving act for both yourself and your family. Lose yourself in paying your bills, and thank the universe that you are able to receive the service you are writing that check for. Mending can become a treasure hunt to find the right button and matching thread. And, each morning, see how neatly you can make your bed and take pride in your results.
Playing your favorite music, dancing while you work, or creating a mental list of everything you are grateful for are just a few ways to turn an unexciting activity into a fun event. Ask a friend to help you clean out the basement or paint a room; provide some yummy snacks as an incentive. Look for joy in doing your mundane activities, and they'll become a source of enjoyment rather than a tolerable duty.
What do you think?
Finding Joy In Meaningless Tasks
Spending an afternoon working on the car, gardening, or even cleaning the house can be fun when we have an interest in the project. Yet, we can also find joy in the chores and tasks we don't especially like. All we need is a change of attitude, a different approach, a little music, or some help from friends, and the tasks or responsibilities that we perceive as tedious can become a source of pleasure.
Most of us tend to put off what it is that we don't want to do. Yet, one of the best approaches to an unpleasant task or dull chore is to dive right in and be fully mindful of what it is that you are doing. You may not perceive washing the kitchen floor as enjoyable, but it can be if you view it as a loving act for both yourself and your family. Lose yourself in paying your bills, and thank the universe that you are able to receive the service you are writing that check for. Mending can become a treasure hunt to find the right button and matching thread. And, each morning, see how neatly you can make your bed and take pride in your results.
Playing your favorite music, dancing while you work, or creating a mental list of everything you are grateful for are just a few ways to turn an unexciting activity into a fun event. Ask a friend to help you clean out the basement or paint a room; provide some yummy snacks as an incentive. Look for joy in doing your mundane activities, and they'll become a source of enjoyment rather than a tolerable duty.
What do you think?
A little bit of creativity from the mind of a little boy :
------------------------------------------------
- By Unknown Author
Once there was a little boy who wanted his dad to teach him how to play catch. One sunny day the little boy's father was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, while watching a baseball game. The boy rushed into the house exclaiming "Daddy, daddy, daddy, show me how to play catch!" The father, blankly starring at the television screen, replied " In a little while son, let me finish watching this inning, come back in five minutes." "Okay daddy" said the boy and ran out of the room. Five minutes later the boy returned screaming "Daddy, let's go, let's play some catch now!"
The father turned to the boy and said hold on son the inning is not quite over come back in five more minutes. "Okay, daddy" said the boy as he shuffled out the room. Five minutes later the boy returned ball and glove in hand eagerly awaiting for his father to play some catch. "Daddy, lets go, I want to be Ken Griffey Jr.!" shouted the boy.
By this time, the father had cracked open another cold one and another inning was taking place. Frustrated by the boy's constant hindrances, the dad scanned the room. While scanning the room the father notice a magazine underneath the coffee table. On the cover of the magazine was a large picture of the world. The father, who was angered & annoyed, began tearing the magazine cover in to small pieces. After a few moments, of shredding up the magazine cover, the father placed the torn pieces on the magazine. Then, the father turned to his boy and said "Son, once you put this picture of the world back together we can play catch, but do not interrupt me again until you are done!"
Apprehensively, the boy took the magazine and sulked into his room. As he sobbed "Okay, daddy I won't". A few moments later the boy returned and said, "I'm done daddy can we play catch now?"
Stunned, the father glanced towards his child, and there in his small hands laid the magazine with the world pieced perfectly together. Amazed, the dad asked his child how he put the world together so quickly. "It was simple" stated the boy "On the back of the world was a picture of a person, and once I put the person together that's when their world came together."
- Unknown Author
- By Unknown Author
Once there was a little boy who wanted his dad to teach him how to play catch. One sunny day the little boy's father was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, while watching a baseball game. The boy rushed into the house exclaiming "Daddy, daddy, daddy, show me how to play catch!" The father, blankly starring at the television screen, replied " In a little while son, let me finish watching this inning, come back in five minutes." "Okay daddy" said the boy and ran out of the room. Five minutes later the boy returned screaming "Daddy, let's go, let's play some catch now!"
The father turned to the boy and said hold on son the inning is not quite over come back in five more minutes. "Okay, daddy" said the boy as he shuffled out the room. Five minutes later the boy returned ball and glove in hand eagerly awaiting for his father to play some catch. "Daddy, lets go, I want to be Ken Griffey Jr.!" shouted the boy.
By this time, the father had cracked open another cold one and another inning was taking place. Frustrated by the boy's constant hindrances, the dad scanned the room. While scanning the room the father notice a magazine underneath the coffee table. On the cover of the magazine was a large picture of the world. The father, who was angered & annoyed, began tearing the magazine cover in to small pieces. After a few moments, of shredding up the magazine cover, the father placed the torn pieces on the magazine. Then, the father turned to his boy and said "Son, once you put this picture of the world back together we can play catch, but do not interrupt me again until you are done!"
Apprehensively, the boy took the magazine and sulked into his room. As he sobbed "Okay, daddy I won't". A few moments later the boy returned and said, "I'm done daddy can we play catch now?"
Stunned, the father glanced towards his child, and there in his small hands laid the magazine with the world pieced perfectly together. Amazed, the dad asked his child how he put the world together so quickly. "It was simple" stated the boy "On the back of the world was a picture of a person, and once I put the person together that's when their world came together."
- Unknown Author
BEING SUCCESSFUL IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE
------------------------------------------------
Your success isn't a matter of luck, it's simply a matter of the choices that you make. Success isn't something you can wait for, it's something you'll achieve with effort over time. Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.
You can choose to be lazy or ambitious. Stop and think about your choice again. You always do your own choosing.
The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now. Every situation, properly perceived, is an opportunity for you.
First, say to yourself what you would be, then, do what you have to do, to make things happen.
Success is right in front of you.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Your success isn't a matter of luck, it's simply a matter of the choices that you make. Success isn't something you can wait for, it's something you'll achieve with effort over time. Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.
You can choose to be lazy or ambitious. Stop and think about your choice again. You always do your own choosing.
The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now. Every situation, properly perceived, is an opportunity for you.
First, say to yourself what you would be, then, do what you have to do, to make things happen.
Success is right in front of you.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Friday, February 17, 2006
LOOK AT THINGS AS THEY CAN BE
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Your range of available choices right now has no limits. The only limits you have are in your mind. You've got it in you to succeed. Just make up your mind and stick with it.
You weren't born with any limits on your powers or any set limits to your capacity. At any moment, you have more possibilities than you can act upon.
Imagine your possibilities and your vision expands. Capture your dreams in your mind and your life becomes full. Reach out and touch the limits of your being in your mind.
If you think you can, you can.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Your range of available choices right now has no limits. The only limits you have are in your mind. You've got it in you to succeed. Just make up your mind and stick with it.
You weren't born with any limits on your powers or any set limits to your capacity. At any moment, you have more possibilities than you can act upon.
Imagine your possibilities and your vision expands. Capture your dreams in your mind and your life becomes full. Reach out and touch the limits of your being in your mind.
If you think you can, you can.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Thursday, February 16, 2006
One Foot Forward
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Finding Your Next Step In Life
Our lives are made up of a complex network of pathways that we can use to move from one phase of life to the next. For some of us, our paths are wide, smooth, and clearly marked. Many people, however, find that they have a difficult time figuring out where they need to go next. Determining which "next step" will land you on the most direct route to fulfillment and the realization of your life purpose may not seem easy.
There are many ways to discover what the next step on your life path should be. If you are someone who seeks to satisfy your soul, it is vital that you make this inquiry. Often, your inner voice will counsel you that it's time for a change, and it is very important to trust yourself because only you know what is best for you. Personal growth always results when you let yourself expand beyond the farthest borders of what your life has been so far. When figuring out what your next step will be, you may want to review your life experiences. The choices you've made and the dreams you've held onto can give you an idea of what you don't want to do anymore and what you might like to do next. It is also a good idea to think about creative ways you can use your skills and satisfy your passions. Visualizing your perfect future and making a list of ways to manifest that future can help you choose a logical next step that's in harmony with your desires. Meditation, journal writing, taking a class, and other creative activities may inspire you and provide insight regarding the next step in life that will bring you the most satisfaction.
It is when you are willing to listen to yourself and be fearless that figuring out your next step becomes easy. Beneath the fear and hesitation and uncertainty lies your inner knowing that always knows which step you need to take next. If you can allow the taking of your next step to be as easy as putting one foot in front of the next, you'll notice that your next step is always the one that is right in front of you. All you have to do is put one foot forward and on the ground.
What do you think?
Finding Your Next Step In Life
Our lives are made up of a complex network of pathways that we can use to move from one phase of life to the next. For some of us, our paths are wide, smooth, and clearly marked. Many people, however, find that they have a difficult time figuring out where they need to go next. Determining which "next step" will land you on the most direct route to fulfillment and the realization of your life purpose may not seem easy.
There are many ways to discover what the next step on your life path should be. If you are someone who seeks to satisfy your soul, it is vital that you make this inquiry. Often, your inner voice will counsel you that it's time for a change, and it is very important to trust yourself because only you know what is best for you. Personal growth always results when you let yourself expand beyond the farthest borders of what your life has been so far. When figuring out what your next step will be, you may want to review your life experiences. The choices you've made and the dreams you've held onto can give you an idea of what you don't want to do anymore and what you might like to do next. It is also a good idea to think about creative ways you can use your skills and satisfy your passions. Visualizing your perfect future and making a list of ways to manifest that future can help you choose a logical next step that's in harmony with your desires. Meditation, journal writing, taking a class, and other creative activities may inspire you and provide insight regarding the next step in life that will bring you the most satisfaction.
It is when you are willing to listen to yourself and be fearless that figuring out your next step becomes easy. Beneath the fear and hesitation and uncertainty lies your inner knowing that always knows which step you need to take next. If you can allow the taking of your next step to be as easy as putting one foot in front of the next, you'll notice that your next step is always the one that is right in front of you. All you have to do is put one foot forward and on the ground.
What do you think?
Permanently Boost Your Intelligence
-------------------------------------------------
– By Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler
If you suddenly realize you have a special capability – THEN that capability has an immediate potential to blossom and grow!
Make sense?
For example: If you have a hidden talent for singing, but nevër tried to sing, would you ever “boost your singing skill”?
Of course not!
Hëre’s a fact you may have overlooked so far in your life: Your brain contains the seeds of genius. You have personal potentials so far beyond what you are achieving today that it is virtually staggering!
Yes. I am talking about YOUR brain... and YOUR potentials!
Once you contemplate the following facts, your brainpower will be permanently altered. The new neural tracts that will be built while absorbing the implications of this knowledge WILL change your physical brain – forever.
I can compare it to a personal experience of the first time I walked on fire. You are NEVËR again the same.
So take a few minutes and immerse yourself in the implications of what follows:
1. Your brain has an unlimïted potential to learn. It absorbs an estimated 7 to 10 new pieces of information every second – and can continue to do so for the rest of your life, yet still have plenty of room left to learn more. And each time you have a new experience or learn something, your brain physically grows new inter-neural (brain cell) connections. Your brain is actually so conducive to growth, that its growth potential nöw has a new scientific term – “brain plasticity.”
2. Your cortex is “wrinkled” for a reason. You have billions and billions of brain cells packed into your 3-pound brain. If all of your brain cells were laid out end-to-end, your mind would stretch at least 800,000 kilometers (496,000 miles). This is roughly the distance to the moon and back.
3. Your brain is not limited to your skull. Your intelligence is actually distributed throughout the cells of your body. The body-mind barrier does NOT exist. We are thinking beings on every level. There is even a current scientific theory that our brain is holographic – and is duplicated right down to a sub-molecular level.
4. You actually have TWO centralized brains. You have more brain cells in your second brain than you do in the portion encased in your skull. Where is that second brain? In your gut.
5. YOUR brain is as unique as your fingerprint. Of the six billion people currently living, and the 90 billion people who have ever walked the earth, there has nevër been a brain quite like yours. YOU are truly unprecedented and totally unique.
6. Your brain is capable of unlimïted thought patterns. Back in 1968 a student of the great Pavlov shocked the scientific community when his research proved the smallest number of potential thought patterns an average brain can create is the number 1 – followed by 10.5 million kilometers of typewritten zeros.
7. Intelligence has little to do with your IQ score. Neuroscientists and neuropsychologists nöw know that IQ tests only measure very limited “rational and logical” thinking skills. Such skills may actually be the most limited portion of your intelligence. We nöw know that there is also your emotional intellicence (EQ) and your all-important higher intelligence (HQ). And many researchers nöw identify as many as 25 sub-intelligences.
8. You can learn to think like Einstein. Recent research clearly demonstrated that the basic thing setting Einstein’s brain apart was the number of connections between his neurons. This is not a birth condition. Such a densely packed brain is created by challenging yourself mentally!
9. You can also learn to think like Leonardo da Vinci. Your intelligence is NOT fixed at birth. A recent statistical review of more than two hundred IQ by Bernard Devlin (published in the "Nature" journal) established that your genes account for only about 48 percent of your IQ. The remaining 52 percent is a function of your prenatal care, environment, and education. And, it should be added, this includes education at any age!
10. Your intelligence can be raised through appropriate training. Although your early upbringing and genetic background “may” predispose you to have certain “natural” talents – many researchers have shown that intelligence scores can be raised significantly through appropriate training.
11. This knowledge has already changed your brain. Just reading this information created immediate synaptic changes in your brain. If you actually contemplate what this information means to you, you strengthen those new neural connections. And the stronger they get, the more easily they will override any old limiting thoughts you may have about your own mental potential!
© 2004 All Rights Reserved
About the Author:
Visit Quantum-Self.com for original inspirational articles and science news, frëe self tests, brain quizzes, and the Web’s best mind-building tools. Subscribe to LandOnYourFeet and get a sizzling FR.EE Prosperity minicourse! http://www.quantum-self.com
– By Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler
If you suddenly realize you have a special capability – THEN that capability has an immediate potential to blossom and grow!
Make sense?
For example: If you have a hidden talent for singing, but nevër tried to sing, would you ever “boost your singing skill”?
Of course not!
Hëre’s a fact you may have overlooked so far in your life: Your brain contains the seeds of genius. You have personal potentials so far beyond what you are achieving today that it is virtually staggering!
Yes. I am talking about YOUR brain... and YOUR potentials!
Once you contemplate the following facts, your brainpower will be permanently altered. The new neural tracts that will be built while absorbing the implications of this knowledge WILL change your physical brain – forever.
I can compare it to a personal experience of the first time I walked on fire. You are NEVËR again the same.
So take a few minutes and immerse yourself in the implications of what follows:
1. Your brain has an unlimïted potential to learn. It absorbs an estimated 7 to 10 new pieces of information every second – and can continue to do so for the rest of your life, yet still have plenty of room left to learn more. And each time you have a new experience or learn something, your brain physically grows new inter-neural (brain cell) connections. Your brain is actually so conducive to growth, that its growth potential nöw has a new scientific term – “brain plasticity.”
2. Your cortex is “wrinkled” for a reason. You have billions and billions of brain cells packed into your 3-pound brain. If all of your brain cells were laid out end-to-end, your mind would stretch at least 800,000 kilometers (496,000 miles). This is roughly the distance to the moon and back.
3. Your brain is not limited to your skull. Your intelligence is actually distributed throughout the cells of your body. The body-mind barrier does NOT exist. We are thinking beings on every level. There is even a current scientific theory that our brain is holographic – and is duplicated right down to a sub-molecular level.
4. You actually have TWO centralized brains. You have more brain cells in your second brain than you do in the portion encased in your skull. Where is that second brain? In your gut.
5. YOUR brain is as unique as your fingerprint. Of the six billion people currently living, and the 90 billion people who have ever walked the earth, there has nevër been a brain quite like yours. YOU are truly unprecedented and totally unique.
6. Your brain is capable of unlimïted thought patterns. Back in 1968 a student of the great Pavlov shocked the scientific community when his research proved the smallest number of potential thought patterns an average brain can create is the number 1 – followed by 10.5 million kilometers of typewritten zeros.
7. Intelligence has little to do with your IQ score. Neuroscientists and neuropsychologists nöw know that IQ tests only measure very limited “rational and logical” thinking skills. Such skills may actually be the most limited portion of your intelligence. We nöw know that there is also your emotional intellicence (EQ) and your all-important higher intelligence (HQ). And many researchers nöw identify as many as 25 sub-intelligences.
8. You can learn to think like Einstein. Recent research clearly demonstrated that the basic thing setting Einstein’s brain apart was the number of connections between his neurons. This is not a birth condition. Such a densely packed brain is created by challenging yourself mentally!
9. You can also learn to think like Leonardo da Vinci. Your intelligence is NOT fixed at birth. A recent statistical review of more than two hundred IQ by Bernard Devlin (published in the "Nature" journal) established that your genes account for only about 48 percent of your IQ. The remaining 52 percent is a function of your prenatal care, environment, and education. And, it should be added, this includes education at any age!
10. Your intelligence can be raised through appropriate training. Although your early upbringing and genetic background “may” predispose you to have certain “natural” talents – many researchers have shown that intelligence scores can be raised significantly through appropriate training.
11. This knowledge has already changed your brain. Just reading this information created immediate synaptic changes in your brain. If you actually contemplate what this information means to you, you strengthen those new neural connections. And the stronger they get, the more easily they will override any old limiting thoughts you may have about your own mental potential!
© 2004 All Rights Reserved
About the Author:
Visit Quantum-Self.com for original inspirational articles and science news, frëe self tests, brain quizzes, and the Web’s best mind-building tools. Subscribe to LandOnYourFeet and get a sizzling FR.EE Prosperity minicourse! http://www.quantum-self.com
YOU CANNOT FAIL WITH A PLAN
-----------------------------------------------
Wanting success isn't sufficient enough to get it. You have to ask yourself, "What am I going to do to get the things I want?"
Your problem is how to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.
You cannot fail with a definite step-by-step plan, because each step carries you along to the next step, like a track. All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.
You cannot get lost on a straight road.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Wanting success isn't sufficient enough to get it. You have to ask yourself, "What am I going to do to get the things I want?"
Your problem is how to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.
You cannot fail with a definite step-by-step plan, because each step carries you along to the next step, like a track. All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.
You cannot get lost on a straight road.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Going Deep
------------------------------------------------
Self-Examination At Depth
There are times when life urges us to seek more. Small changes to our comfort zone may fail to alleviate any sense of stagnancy or frustration, and we may need to examine our lives and ourselves more deeply to find the right place to start. Everything we need for success and joy lies within. But so often, life's debris accumulates, building layers around our core that makes it difficult to access the truth that resides within. To reach the depth we wish to access, we must dive below these layers to the deepest parts of ourselves.
The first layer can be found in our minds. Our to-do lists and busy work are usually less important than we think, so we must look past them to examine the thoughts that matter most to us. The next layer can be found in our hearts, where past hurts and disappointments can sometimes cover up our vulnerabilities, as well as the truth of who and what really stirs the love within us. We can choose to go even deeper - to our center. If we can go beyond anything has affected us to the point that it blocks us at the gut level, we can reconnect with our power, our raw instincts, our organic yeses. Here, at the core, lies our truth. Our core is our foundation that supports us and what we'd like to build our authentic life upon.
When we examine ourselves to these depths, we are able to find what we wish to bring to the surface and what we wish to let go. When we remember what lies beneath our layers, we can look at what was floating on the surface, causing blocks and pains, and understand the purpose that they served. Oftentimes, it is the built up debris that causes us to go deeper, so we can search for the truth. Go deep, live life from your truth within, and watch your innate beauty manifest outward.
What do you think?
Self-Examination At Depth
There are times when life urges us to seek more. Small changes to our comfort zone may fail to alleviate any sense of stagnancy or frustration, and we may need to examine our lives and ourselves more deeply to find the right place to start. Everything we need for success and joy lies within. But so often, life's debris accumulates, building layers around our core that makes it difficult to access the truth that resides within. To reach the depth we wish to access, we must dive below these layers to the deepest parts of ourselves.
The first layer can be found in our minds. Our to-do lists and busy work are usually less important than we think, so we must look past them to examine the thoughts that matter most to us. The next layer can be found in our hearts, where past hurts and disappointments can sometimes cover up our vulnerabilities, as well as the truth of who and what really stirs the love within us. We can choose to go even deeper - to our center. If we can go beyond anything has affected us to the point that it blocks us at the gut level, we can reconnect with our power, our raw instincts, our organic yeses. Here, at the core, lies our truth. Our core is our foundation that supports us and what we'd like to build our authentic life upon.
When we examine ourselves to these depths, we are able to find what we wish to bring to the surface and what we wish to let go. When we remember what lies beneath our layers, we can look at what was floating on the surface, causing blocks and pains, and understand the purpose that they served. Oftentimes, it is the built up debris that causes us to go deeper, so we can search for the truth. Go deep, live life from your truth within, and watch your innate beauty manifest outward.
What do you think?
Start Living in Prime Time – By Denis Waitley ***
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– By Denis Waitley
Prime time is that period between 6 and 10 p.m. during which most of the general public watches television. Commercials in prime time are the most expensive, approaching a million dollars per minute. Your real success in life will take a quantum leap when you stop watching other people making monëy in their professions performing in prime time, and start living your own dreams and goals in prime time. Time is the ultimate equal opportunïty employer. Time nevër stops to rest, nevër hesitates, nevër looks forward or backward. Life's raw material spends itself in the nöw, this moment, which is why how you spend your time is far more important than all the material possessions you may own or positions you may obtain. Positions
change, possessions come and go, you can earn more monëy. You can renew your supply of many things, but like good health, that other most precious resource, time spent is gone forever.
Each yesterday, and all of them together, are beyond your control. Literally all the monëy in the world can't undo or redo a single act you performed. You cannot erase a single word you said. You can't add an "I love you," "I'm sorry," or "I forgive you," not even a "thank you" you forgot to say. Each human being in every hemisphere and time zone has precisely 168 hours a week to spend. And some of the most precious hours occur in prime time.
Consider this: most of your daytime hours are spent helping other people solve their problems. The little time you have in the evenings and on weekends is all you have to spend on yourself, on your own dreams and goals, and personal development. Some thoughts to ponder:
* Have supper with your loved ones at least two to three times per week. It's the best time for casual conversation to listen to what those close to you feel is important in their lives. Mealtime is a time for dialogue.
* A television set is an appliance. It should be used, at most, for two hours at a time. It should be off, unless specific programs of interest are selected. It should not be used as a one-eyed babysitter. For the most part, TV exposes us to negative role models.
* Instead of watching television, why not read a good fiction or nonfiction book, write a letter, engage in a hobby or craft, call a friend or someone in need of encouragement on the phöne, network on your computer, go out to an ethnic restaurant, a home show, an entrepreneurial show, a musical recital, a play, a fitness class, or cultural event? Take an art or photography class. Use prime time to live the kind of life others put on layaway.
Action Idea: If you and your family/friends watch TV, try not turning it on for one week. When you do watch TV, reduce by 50% the amount of time you spend watching it. Concentrate your evenings and frëe time engaged in hands-on, real-life experiences that you can touch, feel, smell and engage all your senses in. Instead of virtual reality, insist on the real thing.
About the Author:
Denis Waitley is one of America's most respected authors, keynote lecturers and productivity consultants on high performänce human achievement. He has inspired, informed, challenged, and entertained audiences for over 25 years from the boardrooms of multi-national corporations to the control rooms of NASA's space program. For more on Denis, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/denis.html
– By Denis Waitley
Prime time is that period between 6 and 10 p.m. during which most of the general public watches television. Commercials in prime time are the most expensive, approaching a million dollars per minute. Your real success in life will take a quantum leap when you stop watching other people making monëy in their professions performing in prime time, and start living your own dreams and goals in prime time. Time is the ultimate equal opportunïty employer. Time nevër stops to rest, nevër hesitates, nevër looks forward or backward. Life's raw material spends itself in the nöw, this moment, which is why how you spend your time is far more important than all the material possessions you may own or positions you may obtain. Positions
change, possessions come and go, you can earn more monëy. You can renew your supply of many things, but like good health, that other most precious resource, time spent is gone forever.
Each yesterday, and all of them together, are beyond your control. Literally all the monëy in the world can't undo or redo a single act you performed. You cannot erase a single word you said. You can't add an "I love you," "I'm sorry," or "I forgive you," not even a "thank you" you forgot to say. Each human being in every hemisphere and time zone has precisely 168 hours a week to spend. And some of the most precious hours occur in prime time.
Consider this: most of your daytime hours are spent helping other people solve their problems. The little time you have in the evenings and on weekends is all you have to spend on yourself, on your own dreams and goals, and personal development. Some thoughts to ponder:
* Have supper with your loved ones at least two to three times per week. It's the best time for casual conversation to listen to what those close to you feel is important in their lives. Mealtime is a time for dialogue.
* A television set is an appliance. It should be used, at most, for two hours at a time. It should be off, unless specific programs of interest are selected. It should not be used as a one-eyed babysitter. For the most part, TV exposes us to negative role models.
* Instead of watching television, why not read a good fiction or nonfiction book, write a letter, engage in a hobby or craft, call a friend or someone in need of encouragement on the phöne, network on your computer, go out to an ethnic restaurant, a home show, an entrepreneurial show, a musical recital, a play, a fitness class, or cultural event? Take an art or photography class. Use prime time to live the kind of life others put on layaway.
Action Idea: If you and your family/friends watch TV, try not turning it on for one week. When you do watch TV, reduce by 50% the amount of time you spend watching it. Concentrate your evenings and frëe time engaged in hands-on, real-life experiences that you can touch, feel, smell and engage all your senses in. Instead of virtual reality, insist on the real thing.
About the Author:
Denis Waitley is one of America's most respected authors, keynote lecturers and productivity consultants on high performänce human achievement. He has inspired, informed, challenged, and entertained audiences for over 25 years from the boardrooms of multi-national corporations to the control rooms of NASA's space program. For more on Denis, visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/denis.html
YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING
------------------------------------------------
There are no real barriers to your success. You must overcome any doubts you have about your ability. Your self image prescribes the limits for your accomplishments. It prescribes the area of what is possible for you.
Don't be afraid of living. Your belief that life is worth living will help you create the fact around you. If you see yourself as prosperous, you will be. If you see yourself as continually hard up, that's precisely what you will be.
You can never succeed until you believe you can succeed. Everything is possible if you believe.
©2006 by Max Steingart
There are no real barriers to your success. You must overcome any doubts you have about your ability. Your self image prescribes the limits for your accomplishments. It prescribes the area of what is possible for you.
Don't be afraid of living. Your belief that life is worth living will help you create the fact around you. If you see yourself as prosperous, you will be. If you see yourself as continually hard up, that's precisely what you will be.
You can never succeed until you believe you can succeed. Everything is possible if you believe.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Monday, February 13, 2006
Gathering For Truth
------------------------------------------------
Satsang
Satsang is a Sanskrit word combining "satya" meaning "truth" and "sangha" meaning "group. " It describes a gathering of people for the purpose of spiritual truth. Satsang is often used when referring to a meeting with a guru or a spiritual mentor. During Satsang, participants read inspiring words, discuss its teachings, meditate, and find ways to bring this awareness into daily life.
While attending services or spiritual study groups can be thought of as participating in Satsangs, this practice can also apply to any group of people that are gathered to inspire one another and express the truth free from judgment. A Satsang can be a group of people that are gathered to sing, play, or listen to music. All that needs to be there is the intention to inspire one another and tell the truth. A Satsang can also be a support group, book club, yoga class, or meeting between friends for coffee or conversation. We don't need to be in a place of worship or supervised by appointed leaders to experience the truth. The truth can be found in every moment and it can be experienced with anyone. Spending time with someone who enlightens us can be as simple as visiting with a grandmother or talking to a best friend.
There is wisdom to be gleaned from being with people even when the gatherings are not specifically intended for personal improvement or spiritual transformation. Any occasion we are gathered with people who understand and support us can be a spiritual experience. While gatherings with the intention of communing with spirit are undoubtedly powerful and inspiring, getting together with people that uplift us by their presence alone is also vital to our well-being. When we recognize all the people we know that support and enrich us, our lives can become an extended Satsang.
What do you think?
Satsang
Satsang is a Sanskrit word combining "satya" meaning "truth" and "sangha" meaning "group. " It describes a gathering of people for the purpose of spiritual truth. Satsang is often used when referring to a meeting with a guru or a spiritual mentor. During Satsang, participants read inspiring words, discuss its teachings, meditate, and find ways to bring this awareness into daily life.
While attending services or spiritual study groups can be thought of as participating in Satsangs, this practice can also apply to any group of people that are gathered to inspire one another and express the truth free from judgment. A Satsang can be a group of people that are gathered to sing, play, or listen to music. All that needs to be there is the intention to inspire one another and tell the truth. A Satsang can also be a support group, book club, yoga class, or meeting between friends for coffee or conversation. We don't need to be in a place of worship or supervised by appointed leaders to experience the truth. The truth can be found in every moment and it can be experienced with anyone. Spending time with someone who enlightens us can be as simple as visiting with a grandmother or talking to a best friend.
There is wisdom to be gleaned from being with people even when the gatherings are not specifically intended for personal improvement or spiritual transformation. Any occasion we are gathered with people who understand and support us can be a spiritual experience. While gatherings with the intention of communing with spirit are undoubtedly powerful and inspiring, getting together with people that uplift us by their presence alone is also vital to our well-being. When we recognize all the people we know that support and enrich us, our lives can become an extended Satsang.
What do you think?
Mindfulness and Stress: Unwrapping Your Package
-------------------------------------------------
– By Maya Talisman Frost
What triggers stress for you?
Most people think they know exactly what pushes their buttons, but they're going for the low-hanging fruit. It's the stuff that's hanging in the hard-to-reach branches that tends to multiply our feelings of frustration, exhaustion and disconnection.
One client--let's call him Scott--told me that he knows very well what causes stress for him: "My boss, the fact that he won't give me a promotion, and my stack of bills to pay."
Well, isn't that a tidy little package? But hëre's the problem: Scott looks at that package and feels that there is nothing he can do with it--"I must work with the boss who hates me." "I must work harder to get a promotion." "I must make more monëy to pay my bills." End of story.
When we put our stressors into a package like that, we create an obstacle--the big box marked "This is my life"--that seems impossible to change.
That's why we need to shake up that package a bit, unwrap it and see what's really inside.
In Scott's case, shaking that life package revealed that the whole "My boss is out to get me" story tended to color his perception of everything about his job.
The truth was that he loved the work, enjoyed his colleagues,and felt he was making a difference. However, he didn't feel appreciated by his boss because he did not get the promotion he'd expected due to the company's reorganization.
Really, his whole "my boss is ruining my life" concept was a story he created to avoid looking at the fact that he was feeling under pressure to make more monëy to provide for his family.
Adding fuel to the fire, his yöung children were getting into activities--soccer, gymnastics--that required more monëy and created more stress for his wïfe, who acted as chauffeur. Scott felt he should work longer hours, which meant he missed out on family dinners and rarely attended his children's activities.
Scott was drained. His wïfe was frustrated. His children missed him. "If only my boss would give me a promotion," Scott's story went, "my life would be so much better."
With a little help, Scott was able to pay attention to what matters most:
1) Providing a comfortable lifestyle for his family while doing work he enjoyed.
2) Having time and energy to spend with his loved ones.
Scott recognized that his boss had nothing to do with his frustration. What was stressing Scott was the idea that he had to continue to work hard in order to support a lifestyle that was becoming increasingly expensive and exhausting.
We all do the same thing--we create stories that make it easier for us to accept what we view as unchangeable circumstances.
Scott had a heart-to-heart talk with his wïfe, who had believed that Scott's boss really was the source of his frustration. Once she knew the real situation, things shifted.
They agreed that what they wanted most for their family was a simpler way of life. Together, they decided to limit their activities--more dinners home together, more time on the weekend to enjoy family outings, less strain on the family budget. The children were okay with giving up their sports if it meant doing more fun things as a family. They'd signed up initially simply because their friends were doing the same.
Many of the things we feel we NEED to do are simply things we start doing. Without paying attention to what we might be losing in the process, these activities can become an obstacle to creating a happy, relaxed home life.
Scott's looking forward to a year of less stress, more fun and greater awareness. He feels much lighter nöw that he recognizes that his boss story was based on frustration, not facts.
Things are coming together nöw that Scott sees what matters most, and he is surprised at how simple it was to make decisions that made life easier for his whole family.
Oh, and that package? It turns out there wasn't much in it after all.
Sometimes, those are the best ones to unwrap.
About the Author:
Maya Talisman Frost has taught thousands of people how to pay attention to what matters most. Her playful, eyes-wide-open approach to everyday mindfulness has inspired thoughtful individuals in over 100 countries. To read her frëe tips and tricks for practical awareness, visit http://www.Real-WorldMindfulness.com
– By Maya Talisman Frost
What triggers stress for you?
Most people think they know exactly what pushes their buttons, but they're going for the low-hanging fruit. It's the stuff that's hanging in the hard-to-reach branches that tends to multiply our feelings of frustration, exhaustion and disconnection.
One client--let's call him Scott--told me that he knows very well what causes stress for him: "My boss, the fact that he won't give me a promotion, and my stack of bills to pay."
Well, isn't that a tidy little package? But hëre's the problem: Scott looks at that package and feels that there is nothing he can do with it--"I must work with the boss who hates me." "I must work harder to get a promotion." "I must make more monëy to pay my bills." End of story.
When we put our stressors into a package like that, we create an obstacle--the big box marked "This is my life"--that seems impossible to change.
That's why we need to shake up that package a bit, unwrap it and see what's really inside.
In Scott's case, shaking that life package revealed that the whole "My boss is out to get me" story tended to color his perception of everything about his job.
The truth was that he loved the work, enjoyed his colleagues,and felt he was making a difference. However, he didn't feel appreciated by his boss because he did not get the promotion he'd expected due to the company's reorganization.
Really, his whole "my boss is ruining my life" concept was a story he created to avoid looking at the fact that he was feeling under pressure to make more monëy to provide for his family.
Adding fuel to the fire, his yöung children were getting into activities--soccer, gymnastics--that required more monëy and created more stress for his wïfe, who acted as chauffeur. Scott felt he should work longer hours, which meant he missed out on family dinners and rarely attended his children's activities.
Scott was drained. His wïfe was frustrated. His children missed him. "If only my boss would give me a promotion," Scott's story went, "my life would be so much better."
With a little help, Scott was able to pay attention to what matters most:
1) Providing a comfortable lifestyle for his family while doing work he enjoyed.
2) Having time and energy to spend with his loved ones.
Scott recognized that his boss had nothing to do with his frustration. What was stressing Scott was the idea that he had to continue to work hard in order to support a lifestyle that was becoming increasingly expensive and exhausting.
We all do the same thing--we create stories that make it easier for us to accept what we view as unchangeable circumstances.
Scott had a heart-to-heart talk with his wïfe, who had believed that Scott's boss really was the source of his frustration. Once she knew the real situation, things shifted.
They agreed that what they wanted most for their family was a simpler way of life. Together, they decided to limit their activities--more dinners home together, more time on the weekend to enjoy family outings, less strain on the family budget. The children were okay with giving up their sports if it meant doing more fun things as a family. They'd signed up initially simply because their friends were doing the same.
Many of the things we feel we NEED to do are simply things we start doing. Without paying attention to what we might be losing in the process, these activities can become an obstacle to creating a happy, relaxed home life.
Scott's looking forward to a year of less stress, more fun and greater awareness. He feels much lighter nöw that he recognizes that his boss story was based on frustration, not facts.
Things are coming together nöw that Scott sees what matters most, and he is surprised at how simple it was to make decisions that made life easier for his whole family.
Oh, and that package? It turns out there wasn't much in it after all.
Sometimes, those are the best ones to unwrap.
About the Author:
Maya Talisman Frost has taught thousands of people how to pay attention to what matters most. Her playful, eyes-wide-open approach to everyday mindfulness has inspired thoughtful individuals in over 100 countries. To read her frëe tips and tricks for practical awareness, visit http://www.Real-WorldMindfulness.com
SUCCESS DEPENDS ON USING NOT OPPOSING
------------------------------------------------
The world is primarily constituted on the basis of harmony. Everything works in cooperation with something else.
Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.
Put yourself in another's place. Only then will you know why they think and do certain things. Once you understand how quickly people will grant your requests
when those requests appeal to their self interest, you can have practically anything you go after.
It's through cooperation not conflict, that you'll achieve your greatest success.
©2006 by Max Steingart
The world is primarily constituted on the basis of harmony. Everything works in cooperation with something else.
Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.
Put yourself in another's place. Only then will you know why they think and do certain things. Once you understand how quickly people will grant your requests
when those requests appeal to their self interest, you can have practically anything you go after.
It's through cooperation not conflict, that you'll achieve your greatest success.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Friday, February 10, 2006
Needless Fear
--------------------------------------------------
Worry
We have all had the experience of worrying about something at some point in our lives. Some of us have a habitual tendency to worry, and all of us have known someone who is a chronic worrier. Worry is an extension of fear and can be a very draining experience. In order for worry to exist, we have to imagine that something bad might happen. What we are worrying about has not happened yet, however, so this bad thing is by definition a fantasy. Understood this way, worry is a self-created state of needless fear. Still, most of us worry.
One reason we worry is because we feel like we're not in control. For example, you might worry about your loved ones driving home in bad weather. There is nothing you can do to guarantee their safe passage, but you worry until you find out they have reached their destination unharmed. In this instance, worry is an attempt to feel useful and in control. However, worrying does nothing to ensure a positive outcome and it has an unpleasant effect on your body, mind, and spirit. The good news is that there are ways to transform this kind of worry so that it has a healing effect. Just as worry uses the imagination, so does the antidote to worry. Next time you find that you are worrying, imagine the best result instead of anticipating the worst outcome. Visualize your loved ones' path bathed in white light and clearly see in your mind's eye their safe arrival. Imagine angels or guides watching over them as they make their way home. Generate peace and well-being instead of nervousness and unease within yourself.
Another reason we worry is that something that we know is pending but are avoiding is nagging us-an unpaid parking ticket, an upcoming test, an issue with a friend. In these cases, acknowledging that we are worried and taking action is the best solution. If you can confront the situation and own your power to change it, you'll have no reason to worry.
What do you think?
Worry
We have all had the experience of worrying about something at some point in our lives. Some of us have a habitual tendency to worry, and all of us have known someone who is a chronic worrier. Worry is an extension of fear and can be a very draining experience. In order for worry to exist, we have to imagine that something bad might happen. What we are worrying about has not happened yet, however, so this bad thing is by definition a fantasy. Understood this way, worry is a self-created state of needless fear. Still, most of us worry.
One reason we worry is because we feel like we're not in control. For example, you might worry about your loved ones driving home in bad weather. There is nothing you can do to guarantee their safe passage, but you worry until you find out they have reached their destination unharmed. In this instance, worry is an attempt to feel useful and in control. However, worrying does nothing to ensure a positive outcome and it has an unpleasant effect on your body, mind, and spirit. The good news is that there are ways to transform this kind of worry so that it has a healing effect. Just as worry uses the imagination, so does the antidote to worry. Next time you find that you are worrying, imagine the best result instead of anticipating the worst outcome. Visualize your loved ones' path bathed in white light and clearly see in your mind's eye their safe arrival. Imagine angels or guides watching over them as they make their way home. Generate peace and well-being instead of nervousness and unease within yourself.
Another reason we worry is that something that we know is pending but are avoiding is nagging us-an unpaid parking ticket, an upcoming test, an issue with a friend. In these cases, acknowledging that we are worried and taking action is the best solution. If you can confront the situation and own your power to change it, you'll have no reason to worry.
What do you think?
Be My V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E
All Year Long!
--------------------------------------------------
- By Larry James
To be a special Valentine to your partner takes lots of energy, time, attention and Love. Let's all give some thought about who we are being in our relationship, what we can do to make them better and who we will have to become to have them be healthy and successful. Let's make EVERYDAY Valentine's Day for our partner.
Let's begin with the premise that relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed!
Here are a few ideas to get you started!
Happy Valentine's Day!
V
Validate. . .
Your relationship with your partner must be an equal partnership; one that mutually supports each other in their dreams and visions of what is best for one another. Make it a point to let your partner know that you value their opinions, ideas and especially their feelings.
Never say, "You shouldn't feel that way." Your partner's feelings are "their" feelings. At that moment in time it is their choice to feel that way. Listen with that understanding. If you must say something say, "I understand how you feel" and if it is appropriate, give them a big hug!
A
Attention. . .
Paying attention to the "little things" is not always easy. It takes practice and it is one of the most important aspects of a successful and healthy love relationship. It is the little things that count. If left to simmer without attention, eventually they may erupt into major conflict.
L
Love. . .
Be consistent in expressing your love for your partner in "words" and deeds. While the gift of a rose, a box of chocolates (unless they are on a diet) or a special greeting card is an expression of love, it is important for your love partner to HEAR the words, "I love you" at least once each day.
E
Enjoy. . .
Make the best of being together. Be present when in the presence of your partner. Enjoy each precious moment. Couples who enjoy each other's company are happier and more satisfied with their relationship. Do fun things. Go fun places. Place a high priority on enjoying life together.
N
Nurture. . .
To nurture is to nourish. Nourish one another with love. Encourage each other to openly communicate your needs. Accept your partner for who they are and support them in their individual needs and endeavors. Offer understanding by being an attentive listener. Acknowledge your partner's goodness!
T
Time. . .
Spend "quality" time together. Make a promise to have a date with your mate no less than once each week. No excuses, please! (Ask a trusted friend to watch the children and return the favor at another time).
Pretend you are on your very first date. Reminisce. Hold hands. Make eye contact. Talk. Really listen. Put aside the cares of the day and focus on your partner. Make each moment you are together. . . count!
I
Intention. . .
We usually get what we place our intention upon. Synergize your intentions on what you want, never on what you do not want. The combined effect of two partners working together on similar things is much greater than the sum of individual effects.
Highlight your intentions to one another and concentrate on the specifics of those intentions. Lovingly remind each other of your commitment to your intentions from time to time. Develop the willful intent to serve the well being of your partner. Work together on having the kind of relationship that you can be proud to be in.
N
Needs. . .
We all have individual needs; to be loved, accepted, understood, trusted, respected, appreciated, encouraged and the list goes on. Acknowledging our needs and the needs of our love partner gives purpose to the relationship. Learn to express your needs in ways your partner can listen to and understand.
Erich Fromm once said. . . Immature love says, "I love you because I need you." Mature love says, "I need you because I love you."
That is the difference between being needy and having needs. The problem is not that you need love, but that you depend on your partner to create love and happiness in your life. Giving up your responsibility for satisfying those needs is a mistake.
E
Energize. . .
Breath new life into your relationship each day by consistently focusing on new ideas that keeps the fire of love burning. Partners feel energized when both are dancing to the same tune. They feel a capacity for action to continue to do the things that brought them together in the first place.
About the Author:
Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, "How to Really Love the One You're With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship," "LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing" and "Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers." He also presents "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops" nationally for singles and couples. More About Larry James or contact him at LarryJames@CelebrateLove.com
--------------------------------------------------
- By Larry James
To be a special Valentine to your partner takes lots of energy, time, attention and Love. Let's all give some thought about who we are being in our relationship, what we can do to make them better and who we will have to become to have them be healthy and successful. Let's make EVERYDAY Valentine's Day for our partner.
Let's begin with the premise that relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed!
Here are a few ideas to get you started!
Happy Valentine's Day!
V
Validate. . .
Your relationship with your partner must be an equal partnership; one that mutually supports each other in their dreams and visions of what is best for one another. Make it a point to let your partner know that you value their opinions, ideas and especially their feelings.
Never say, "You shouldn't feel that way." Your partner's feelings are "their" feelings. At that moment in time it is their choice to feel that way. Listen with that understanding. If you must say something say, "I understand how you feel" and if it is appropriate, give them a big hug!
A
Attention. . .
Paying attention to the "little things" is not always easy. It takes practice and it is one of the most important aspects of a successful and healthy love relationship. It is the little things that count. If left to simmer without attention, eventually they may erupt into major conflict.
L
Love. . .
Be consistent in expressing your love for your partner in "words" and deeds. While the gift of a rose, a box of chocolates (unless they are on a diet) or a special greeting card is an expression of love, it is important for your love partner to HEAR the words, "I love you" at least once each day.
E
Enjoy. . .
Make the best of being together. Be present when in the presence of your partner. Enjoy each precious moment. Couples who enjoy each other's company are happier and more satisfied with their relationship. Do fun things. Go fun places. Place a high priority on enjoying life together.
N
Nurture. . .
To nurture is to nourish. Nourish one another with love. Encourage each other to openly communicate your needs. Accept your partner for who they are and support them in their individual needs and endeavors. Offer understanding by being an attentive listener. Acknowledge your partner's goodness!
T
Time. . .
Spend "quality" time together. Make a promise to have a date with your mate no less than once each week. No excuses, please! (Ask a trusted friend to watch the children and return the favor at another time).
Pretend you are on your very first date. Reminisce. Hold hands. Make eye contact. Talk. Really listen. Put aside the cares of the day and focus on your partner. Make each moment you are together. . . count!
I
Intention. . .
We usually get what we place our intention upon. Synergize your intentions on what you want, never on what you do not want. The combined effect of two partners working together on similar things is much greater than the sum of individual effects.
Highlight your intentions to one another and concentrate on the specifics of those intentions. Lovingly remind each other of your commitment to your intentions from time to time. Develop the willful intent to serve the well being of your partner. Work together on having the kind of relationship that you can be proud to be in.
N
Needs. . .
We all have individual needs; to be loved, accepted, understood, trusted, respected, appreciated, encouraged and the list goes on. Acknowledging our needs and the needs of our love partner gives purpose to the relationship. Learn to express your needs in ways your partner can listen to and understand.
Erich Fromm once said. . . Immature love says, "I love you because I need you." Mature love says, "I need you because I love you."
That is the difference between being needy and having needs. The problem is not that you need love, but that you depend on your partner to create love and happiness in your life. Giving up your responsibility for satisfying those needs is a mistake.
E
Energize. . .
Breath new life into your relationship each day by consistently focusing on new ideas that keeps the fire of love burning. Partners feel energized when both are dancing to the same tune. They feel a capacity for action to continue to do the things that brought them together in the first place.
About the Author:
Larry James is a professional speaker and the author of three relationship books, "How to Really Love the One You're With: Affirmative Guidelines for a Healthy Love Relationship," "LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing" and "Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers." He also presents "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops" nationally for singles and couples. More About Larry James or contact him at LarryJames@CelebrateLove.com
WORK IS LOVE MADE VISIBLE
-------------------------------------------------
Your success in any occupation depends on your enjoyment. Loving your work makes the difference. If you enjoy what you do, you'll be successful. If you don't enjoy what you do, you won't be successful.
Your chances for success are directly proportional to the degree of pleasure you derive from what you do. If you have a job you hate, face the fact squarely and get out. You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.
Success in its highest and noblest form calls for peace of mind, enjoyment, and happiness which comes only when you find the work that you like best.
You don't pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success. Work is reward not punishment.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Your success in any occupation depends on your enjoyment. Loving your work makes the difference. If you enjoy what you do, you'll be successful. If you don't enjoy what you do, you won't be successful.
Your chances for success are directly proportional to the degree of pleasure you derive from what you do. If you have a job you hate, face the fact squarely and get out. You'll never achieve real success unless you like what you are doing.
Success in its highest and noblest form calls for peace of mind, enjoyment, and happiness which comes only when you find the work that you like best.
You don't pay the price for success. You enjoy the price for success. Work is reward not punishment.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Thursday, February 09, 2006
An Empty Vessel Can Be Filled
------------------------------------------------
The Power Of Not Knowing
There is wisdom in not knowing, and it is a wise person who can say, "I don't know." For no one knows everything. There are many types of wisdom - from intellectual to emotional to physical intelligence. Yet, even deemed experts in their fields do not know all there is to know about mathematics, yoga, literature, psychology, or art. It is a true master who professes ignorance, for only an empty vessel can be filled.
There are many things in life that we don't know, and there are many things we may have no interest in finding out. There is freedom in saying "I don't know." When we admit that we don't know something, we can then open ourselves up to the opportunity to learn. And there is power in that. We can't possibly know everything. And when we think we do, we limit ourselves from growing and learning more than what we already do know. A person who can admit to not knowing tends to be more intellectually and emotionally confident than someone who pretends to know everything. They also tend to be more comfortable with who they are and don't feel the need to bluff or cover up any perceived ignorance. People can actually end up appearing more foolish when they act as if they know something that they don't.
We would be wise to respect people who freely admit when they don't know something. They are being honest, with us and with themselves. And we, too, should feel no shame in saying, "I don't know." In doing so, we open ourselves up to the unknown. We can then discover what lies beyond our current levels of understanding. It is the wise person in life that answers questions with a question and inspires the pursuit of internal answers with a funny face, a shrug, and a comical, "I don't know."
What do you think?
The Power Of Not Knowing
There is wisdom in not knowing, and it is a wise person who can say, "I don't know." For no one knows everything. There are many types of wisdom - from intellectual to emotional to physical intelligence. Yet, even deemed experts in their fields do not know all there is to know about mathematics, yoga, literature, psychology, or art. It is a true master who professes ignorance, for only an empty vessel can be filled.
There are many things in life that we don't know, and there are many things we may have no interest in finding out. There is freedom in saying "I don't know." When we admit that we don't know something, we can then open ourselves up to the opportunity to learn. And there is power in that. We can't possibly know everything. And when we think we do, we limit ourselves from growing and learning more than what we already do know. A person who can admit to not knowing tends to be more intellectually and emotionally confident than someone who pretends to know everything. They also tend to be more comfortable with who they are and don't feel the need to bluff or cover up any perceived ignorance. People can actually end up appearing more foolish when they act as if they know something that they don't.
We would be wise to respect people who freely admit when they don't know something. They are being honest, with us and with themselves. And we, too, should feel no shame in saying, "I don't know." In doing so, we open ourselves up to the unknown. We can then discover what lies beyond our current levels of understanding. It is the wise person in life that answers questions with a question and inspires the pursuit of internal answers with a funny face, a shrug, and a comical, "I don't know."
What do you think?
The Top Seven Reasons People Break Their New Year's
-------------------------------------------------
– By Stephen Kraus ***
Have you broken your New Year's resolution yet?
If so, you aren't alone. Studies suggest that 20% of resolutions are broken within the first week of January. At least 80% are broken within one year, and the actual figure is probably much higher.
But the big question is: Why?
An even bïgger question: What can we do about it?
In this article, we'll explore the top seven reasons for breaking resolutions, and proven science-based techniques for avoiding them.
1. All-or-none thinking.
"Resolutions" set us up for failure by luring us into all-or-none thinking. Most people think in terms of "keeping" their resolutions, or "breaking" them.
Thinking in black-or-white terms of "success" or "failure" can be fun as long as you are making good progress. But the joy of feeling like a "pure success" soon fades with the first minor setback, and you plunge into feeling like a total failure.
In other words, all-or-none thinking leads to the next cause of breaking resolutions: the snowball effect.
2. The snowball effect.
We've all experienced the snowball effect: letting a minor lapse snowball into a major relapse and a total collapse. Because all-or-none thinking is a major factor, it happens to resolution-makers all the time.
Dieters frequently suffer from the snowball effect as well, because they typically think in terms of being "on" their diet, or "off" it. Any little setback leads them to think that they have "broken" it, and they pig out.
3. Overlooking progress, and dwelling on setbacks.
The "law of effect" is the most fundamental law in psychology. It's simple: actions followed by rewards are strengthened and likely to recur.
It seems obvious, but most people do just the opposite. Study after study has shown people who try -- and fail -- to make life changes self-reward too little, and self-punish too much.
Resolutions-makers (and dieters) do this all the time. After two weeks of healthy eating and exercise, for example, they have an ice cream cone. But instead of rewarding themselves for two weeks of solid progress, they beat themselves up over their minor setback.
4. No plan (and bad goal setting and we forget).
These reasons all go together, and they all have the same root cause.
Most people resolve to do X in the coming year and don't think much beyond that. But an annual resolution is too far in the future to be motivating. You won't be inspired to take action or to make a plan and follow through. And because such a distant goal simply won't show up on your "radar screen," you'll soon forget about it. Until next New Year's.
Instead, studies show that resolution-keepers use the proven principles for setting goals that will keep them focused, motivated and confident.
5. The "nice-to-keep" syndrome.
Let's face it -- for most people, their resolution is a "nice-to-keep," not a "need-to-keep."
Sure, they'd like to be fit, or quit smokïng, or have better relationships, or whatever. But by January 7th, they get focused on issues that are supposedly more "pressing," or get bogged down "putting out fires." Their longer-term, nice-to-have goals keep getting put on the back burner and are soon forgotten.
Resolution-keepers do it differently.
They use a variety of commitment-enhancing and pre-commitment strategies that ensure they avoid the "nice-to-keep" syndrome. They find ways to keep themselves accountable and follow through on the things that are truly important to them.
6. No Vision (and not understanding the all-important “why”).
The motivating power of any goal comes from truly understanding *why* you want it. But most resolution-makers don't think through their underlying motivations.
Just wanting to losë ten pounds for its own sake may be a fine goal, but it won't be enough to motivate you when you have to make sacrifices or suffer a setback.
But you'll have that motivation if you know that getting in shape will mean having more stamina for playing with your kids, or going on a big hiking trip with your friends.
As Antoine de Saint-Exupery once put it: "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." Clarify your vision, and motivation will come.
7. Not enough action.
All of the "small" reasons for not keeping resolutions add up to one big reason: not enough action.
Most people know what to do in order to keep their resolution. They have the blueprint for success. But they don't take sufficient action.
There's no great secrët to weïght loss success -- just burn off more calories than you take in. Eat more vegetables, watch your portion sizes, and exercise more (studies have shown that weïght loss maintainers average one hour of exercise per day!). It's not hard to figure out. It's just hard to do it and maintain these lifestyle changes over the long-term. Most people start out OK but don't take sufficient action to make cement their new habits, and make their life changes permanent.
About the Author:
Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. Stephen Kraus separates the science of success from self-help snake oil. Get his frëe 7-day Real Science of Success e-course and report on Becoming More Resilient & Persistent at http://www.RealScienceofSuccess.com
– By Stephen Kraus ***
Have you broken your New Year's resolution yet?
If so, you aren't alone. Studies suggest that 20% of resolutions are broken within the first week of January. At least 80% are broken within one year, and the actual figure is probably much higher.
But the big question is: Why?
An even bïgger question: What can we do about it?
In this article, we'll explore the top seven reasons for breaking resolutions, and proven science-based techniques for avoiding them.
1. All-or-none thinking.
"Resolutions" set us up for failure by luring us into all-or-none thinking. Most people think in terms of "keeping" their resolutions, or "breaking" them.
Thinking in black-or-white terms of "success" or "failure" can be fun as long as you are making good progress. But the joy of feeling like a "pure success" soon fades with the first minor setback, and you plunge into feeling like a total failure.
In other words, all-or-none thinking leads to the next cause of breaking resolutions: the snowball effect.
2. The snowball effect.
We've all experienced the snowball effect: letting a minor lapse snowball into a major relapse and a total collapse. Because all-or-none thinking is a major factor, it happens to resolution-makers all the time.
Dieters frequently suffer from the snowball effect as well, because they typically think in terms of being "on" their diet, or "off" it. Any little setback leads them to think that they have "broken" it, and they pig out.
3. Overlooking progress, and dwelling on setbacks.
The "law of effect" is the most fundamental law in psychology. It's simple: actions followed by rewards are strengthened and likely to recur.
It seems obvious, but most people do just the opposite. Study after study has shown people who try -- and fail -- to make life changes self-reward too little, and self-punish too much.
Resolutions-makers (and dieters) do this all the time. After two weeks of healthy eating and exercise, for example, they have an ice cream cone. But instead of rewarding themselves for two weeks of solid progress, they beat themselves up over their minor setback.
4. No plan (and bad goal setting and we forget).
These reasons all go together, and they all have the same root cause.
Most people resolve to do X in the coming year and don't think much beyond that. But an annual resolution is too far in the future to be motivating. You won't be inspired to take action or to make a plan and follow through. And because such a distant goal simply won't show up on your "radar screen," you'll soon forget about it. Until next New Year's.
Instead, studies show that resolution-keepers use the proven principles for setting goals that will keep them focused, motivated and confident.
5. The "nice-to-keep" syndrome.
Let's face it -- for most people, their resolution is a "nice-to-keep," not a "need-to-keep."
Sure, they'd like to be fit, or quit smokïng, or have better relationships, or whatever. But by January 7th, they get focused on issues that are supposedly more "pressing," or get bogged down "putting out fires." Their longer-term, nice-to-have goals keep getting put on the back burner and are soon forgotten.
Resolution-keepers do it differently.
They use a variety of commitment-enhancing and pre-commitment strategies that ensure they avoid the "nice-to-keep" syndrome. They find ways to keep themselves accountable and follow through on the things that are truly important to them.
6. No Vision (and not understanding the all-important “why”).
The motivating power of any goal comes from truly understanding *why* you want it. But most resolution-makers don't think through their underlying motivations.
Just wanting to losë ten pounds for its own sake may be a fine goal, but it won't be enough to motivate you when you have to make sacrifices or suffer a setback.
But you'll have that motivation if you know that getting in shape will mean having more stamina for playing with your kids, or going on a big hiking trip with your friends.
As Antoine de Saint-Exupery once put it: "If you want to build a ship, don't drum up people to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea." Clarify your vision, and motivation will come.
7. Not enough action.
All of the "small" reasons for not keeping resolutions add up to one big reason: not enough action.
Most people know what to do in order to keep their resolution. They have the blueprint for success. But they don't take sufficient action.
There's no great secrët to weïght loss success -- just burn off more calories than you take in. Eat more vegetables, watch your portion sizes, and exercise more (studies have shown that weïght loss maintainers average one hour of exercise per day!). It's not hard to figure out. It's just hard to do it and maintain these lifestyle changes over the long-term. Most people start out OK but don't take sufficient action to make cement their new habits, and make their life changes permanent.
About the Author:
Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. Stephen Kraus separates the science of success from self-help snake oil. Get his frëe 7-day Real Science of Success e-course and report on Becoming More Resilient & Persistent at http://www.RealScienceofSuccess.com
YOU MUST MAKE YOUR OWN OPPORTUNITIES
-------------------------------------------------
Success doesn't come to you. You must go to it. You don't need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity. What you need is to use what you have.
The golden opportunity you're seeking is in yourself. It's not in your environment. It's not in luck or chance or the help of others. It's in you.
There will always be a new opportunity where there is an open mind and a willing hand.
Open your own door to opportunity.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Success doesn't come to you. You must go to it. You don't need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity. What you need is to use what you have.
The golden opportunity you're seeking is in yourself. It's not in your environment. It's not in luck or chance or the help of others. It's in you.
There will always be a new opportunity where there is an open mind and a willing hand.
Open your own door to opportunity.
©2006 by Max Steingart
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Rays Of Life
-------------------------------------------------
The Sun
Since the dawn of time, humans have been fascinated by the sun. Radiating power from the sky, our star Sol is a creative force that is unparalleled. Its brilliant rays illuminate the seasons, give heat, imbue all living beings with vital life force energy, and banish the dangers that only come out in the dark. Sol is a sparkling though mysterious jewel and has been given many names by many cultures: Arinna in Mesopotamia, Yhi in Australia, Ra in Egypt, and Apollo in Greece.
Our lives are, to a large extent, driven by the brilliant illumination of the sun. The sun drives the cycles of our days and seasons while providing us with a framework we can use for running our lives. The reappearance of the sun after a long stretch of night has the power to inspire us when we awaken at dawn to watch a slow sunrise. Likewise, Sol can be a powerful symbol of hope, elation, joy, growth, and creativity. The sun has much to teach us. Early astronomers saw the sun's constancy as a signifier of its great strength, courage, and power. Its illumination and steady flow of energy is there whether or not we are able to see it. The sun is the great and unselfish giver, rising into the sky at the start of each day to energize us, bathe us in radiance, and provide us with innumerable blessings. A simple, sun-centered ritual can help you harness this loving energy. Awaken before dawn and go outdoors to watch the sun's ascent. As it rises into view, close your eyes, bask in its light, and imagine your soul ascending alongside it. Feel yourself grow as you absorb the sun's energy. Your body will tell you when you have taken in enough. Express your appreciation for all the sun gives to the world.
The sun's nurturing heat is there to warm you and allow you to flourish. Its energy nourishes the food you eat, while its light allows you to see the beauty in the world. The sun represents internal balance and burns with controlled power. Without the sun's golden light, the spirit suffers. When we take time to bask in the sun, our spirit soars.
What do you think?
The Sun
Since the dawn of time, humans have been fascinated by the sun. Radiating power from the sky, our star Sol is a creative force that is unparalleled. Its brilliant rays illuminate the seasons, give heat, imbue all living beings with vital life force energy, and banish the dangers that only come out in the dark. Sol is a sparkling though mysterious jewel and has been given many names by many cultures: Arinna in Mesopotamia, Yhi in Australia, Ra in Egypt, and Apollo in Greece.
Our lives are, to a large extent, driven by the brilliant illumination of the sun. The sun drives the cycles of our days and seasons while providing us with a framework we can use for running our lives. The reappearance of the sun after a long stretch of night has the power to inspire us when we awaken at dawn to watch a slow sunrise. Likewise, Sol can be a powerful symbol of hope, elation, joy, growth, and creativity. The sun has much to teach us. Early astronomers saw the sun's constancy as a signifier of its great strength, courage, and power. Its illumination and steady flow of energy is there whether or not we are able to see it. The sun is the great and unselfish giver, rising into the sky at the start of each day to energize us, bathe us in radiance, and provide us with innumerable blessings. A simple, sun-centered ritual can help you harness this loving energy. Awaken before dawn and go outdoors to watch the sun's ascent. As it rises into view, close your eyes, bask in its light, and imagine your soul ascending alongside it. Feel yourself grow as you absorb the sun's energy. Your body will tell you when you have taken in enough. Express your appreciation for all the sun gives to the world.
The sun's nurturing heat is there to warm you and allow you to flourish. Its energy nourishes the food you eat, while its light allows you to see the beauty in the world. The sun represents internal balance and burns with controlled power. Without the sun's golden light, the spirit suffers. When we take time to bask in the sun, our spirit soars.
What do you think?
Your Brain Can Help You Losë Weïght
-------------------------------------------------
– By Tracy Lee
Have you done this before?
You have set your weïght loss goals and mapped out your plan to losë all those excess pounds that you have been dying to get rid off.
In your mind, you have psyched yourself up -- this time you are going all the way out to losë all those pounds! "Nothing can stop me," you tell yourself.
Then, you rationalize that...
1) In order for you to succeed in your weïght loss goals, you must follow a super-strict diet and exercise routine.
and/or...
2) If you happen to go off track in your diet or exercise routine by eating your favorite high-calorie junk food and skipping your exercise session, this means you have totally blown off your plan altogether.
Sound familiar?
I sure hope not!
This train of thought can be very detrimental to your weïght loss efforts, but it's all too easy to fall into this trap. And not only is it very harmful to your body, it actually lowers your self-esteem too.
Your brain can help you to losë weïght, or it can make you fat.
If you want to losë weïght successfully, you'll need to have the right thoughts in your brain. Conversely, holding on tïght to the wrong concepts can (and will!) jeopardize your plans!
Here's what you should do instead...
1) Get rid of the word "DIET" from your thoughts
Firstly, you must shake off the idea that you absolutely have to follow an extremely restrictive diet in order to losë weïght successfully.
In fact, most people who are able to losë their unwanted weïght successfully DO NOT diet. What they do is simply change their lifestyle such as practicing portion control, moderation, cutting back on calories, and curbing their emotional eating bouts.
It's time to change your focus from weïght loss to weïght management. It is not just losing weight; it is about changing your lifestyle so that you can maintain your weïght loss.
And do you notice how most women like to use the word "diet" every time they want to losë weïght? We "go on" and "go off" diets after every holiday season; we say "I start on Monday" only to go off it by the weekend. Nobody says "I start my new way of life on Monday." But that's exactly what we need to do. An effective diet isn't just for Christmas or just a very special occasion; it's for your whole life.
We need variety not only for our nutritional reasons. It is also to satisfy ourselves and to take care of our "wants." So you need to create your own healthy lifestyle... the lifestyle that you want, and one that's sustainable for the long term.
Be wary of any plan that restricts entire food groups, or if it relies on just one type of food (e.g. soup or salad) as its mainstay.
Believe me, I've been there and done that. If you go on a diet that requires you to eat all the food that you hate or totally omits your favorites, you are going to dread your meals and are bound to fail. Even if you manage to losë the weïght, all your pounds (and probably more!) will creep back once you are off the diet.
2) Do NOT give up your favorite foods
Another thing that most women would do initially is severely limiting their food intake. Or they completely cut off their favorite foods.
This is one thing that you should nevër do.
"Why?"
Well, by doing that, it sets you up for binges and your temptation for these foods would definitely increase.
Instead, you should reduce your consumption slowly. For example, you always have desserts after dinner. Instead of cutting off totally, you start by reducing your portion size to half. Thus, the temptation becomes much less powerful when you have just the taste of something "bad" nöw and again instead of telling yourself that it is off limits for good.
After a while, you will find yourself accustomed to the new portion sizes, and you'll be able to satisfy your craving with just a small amount of your "super sinful" foods.
3) Forgive and move on...
So you decide to keep your favorite foods in your weïght loss plan. You allow yourself a chocolate cookie every day. But you could not resist the temptation and you finish half of the pack. Next day afternoon, you finish the remaining half of the chocolate cookies pack for your afternoon tea.
Gee, have you blown your weïght loss plan again? Does that mean you should just give up the idea of losing those extra pounds and go back to my old eating habits?
Well, not allowing yourself to make mistakes is the worst mistake you can ever make. Seriously.
Having this all-or-nothing thinking is a way to let you off the hook. It is an escape route that you create for yourself. In your mind, you could be telling yourself, "Oh well. It is all gone. I guess I don't have to bother anymore. Give me my cookies."
There's an old saying that goes, "No matter how far along you are down the wrong path, it's nevër too late to turn back." So don't think just because you made bad choices today, you can't start over tomorrow.
Every day is truly a new beginning. You do not have to wait until a new year, a new month, or a Monday to start all over again.
You can't erase last night's binge, but you can aim for a much healthier today!
4) Create a lifestyle you want
Many times, when you want to losë weïght, you will plan up a very strict diet and exercise routine for yourself. Well... there is a high chance that you would not be able to execute it successfully. To make things worse, you hate it.
Why not aim to create a healthy lifestyle you want so that you do not give up your favorite foods?
You must create a realistic and achievable weïght loss plan. After all, you want to plan to SUCCEED, not to fail, right?
If you find difficulty in creating a good plan for yourself, or if you can't seem to discipline yourself to stay true to your plan, I suggest that you engage a personal trainer to help you.
5) Celebrate your small victories
Every time you achieve a small milestone, go ahead and reward yourself.
But do not over-indulge. For example, you can reward yourself a small ice cream once you have managed to complete your first week of exercise routines. Or when you losë your first 3 pounds, you can treat yourself to a slice of cheesecake.
Remember, it is all right to reward yourself for the small challenges you have overcome so that you won't give up so easily. Let it be something you look forward to every time you surmount a challenge.
If you set up your rewards properly, they'll motivate you on a daily basis and you'll find it easier to follow your weïght loss plans!
Bonus: And here's one more extra tip... Don't stress yourself. Take it easy on yourself as you're learning how to be a new, improved, and healthier you. After all, you're only human... a soon-to-be-much-lighter human!
Copyright 2006 Tracy Lee
About the Author:
Tracy Lee is the owner of the "Weïght Loss for Women Over 40" site. Get the latest news, tips, and tricks that can help women over 40 losë weïght safely and permanently, and get your complimentary copy of our Special Report "9 Little-Known Insider Weïght Loss Secrets To Help Women Over 40 Make Those Extra Pounds Disappear" instantly here: http://www.weight-loss-for-women-over-40.com/insidersecrets/
– By Tracy Lee
Have you done this before?
You have set your weïght loss goals and mapped out your plan to losë all those excess pounds that you have been dying to get rid off.
In your mind, you have psyched yourself up -- this time you are going all the way out to losë all those pounds! "Nothing can stop me," you tell yourself.
Then, you rationalize that...
1) In order for you to succeed in your weïght loss goals, you must follow a super-strict diet and exercise routine.
and/or...
2) If you happen to go off track in your diet or exercise routine by eating your favorite high-calorie junk food and skipping your exercise session, this means you have totally blown off your plan altogether.
Sound familiar?
I sure hope not!
This train of thought can be very detrimental to your weïght loss efforts, but it's all too easy to fall into this trap. And not only is it very harmful to your body, it actually lowers your self-esteem too.
Your brain can help you to losë weïght, or it can make you fat.
If you want to losë weïght successfully, you'll need to have the right thoughts in your brain. Conversely, holding on tïght to the wrong concepts can (and will!) jeopardize your plans!
Here's what you should do instead...
1) Get rid of the word "DIET" from your thoughts
Firstly, you must shake off the idea that you absolutely have to follow an extremely restrictive diet in order to losë weïght successfully.
In fact, most people who are able to losë their unwanted weïght successfully DO NOT diet. What they do is simply change their lifestyle such as practicing portion control, moderation, cutting back on calories, and curbing their emotional eating bouts.
It's time to change your focus from weïght loss to weïght management. It is not just losing weight; it is about changing your lifestyle so that you can maintain your weïght loss.
And do you notice how most women like to use the word "diet" every time they want to losë weïght? We "go on" and "go off" diets after every holiday season; we say "I start on Monday" only to go off it by the weekend. Nobody says "I start my new way of life on Monday." But that's exactly what we need to do. An effective diet isn't just for Christmas or just a very special occasion; it's for your whole life.
We need variety not only for our nutritional reasons. It is also to satisfy ourselves and to take care of our "wants." So you need to create your own healthy lifestyle... the lifestyle that you want, and one that's sustainable for the long term.
Be wary of any plan that restricts entire food groups, or if it relies on just one type of food (e.g. soup or salad) as its mainstay.
Believe me, I've been there and done that. If you go on a diet that requires you to eat all the food that you hate or totally omits your favorites, you are going to dread your meals and are bound to fail. Even if you manage to losë the weïght, all your pounds (and probably more!) will creep back once you are off the diet.
2) Do NOT give up your favorite foods
Another thing that most women would do initially is severely limiting their food intake. Or they completely cut off their favorite foods.
This is one thing that you should nevër do.
"Why?"
Well, by doing that, it sets you up for binges and your temptation for these foods would definitely increase.
Instead, you should reduce your consumption slowly. For example, you always have desserts after dinner. Instead of cutting off totally, you start by reducing your portion size to half. Thus, the temptation becomes much less powerful when you have just the taste of something "bad" nöw and again instead of telling yourself that it is off limits for good.
After a while, you will find yourself accustomed to the new portion sizes, and you'll be able to satisfy your craving with just a small amount of your "super sinful" foods.
3) Forgive and move on...
So you decide to keep your favorite foods in your weïght loss plan. You allow yourself a chocolate cookie every day. But you could not resist the temptation and you finish half of the pack. Next day afternoon, you finish the remaining half of the chocolate cookies pack for your afternoon tea.
Gee, have you blown your weïght loss plan again? Does that mean you should just give up the idea of losing those extra pounds and go back to my old eating habits?
Well, not allowing yourself to make mistakes is the worst mistake you can ever make. Seriously.
Having this all-or-nothing thinking is a way to let you off the hook. It is an escape route that you create for yourself. In your mind, you could be telling yourself, "Oh well. It is all gone. I guess I don't have to bother anymore. Give me my cookies."
There's an old saying that goes, "No matter how far along you are down the wrong path, it's nevër too late to turn back." So don't think just because you made bad choices today, you can't start over tomorrow.
Every day is truly a new beginning. You do not have to wait until a new year, a new month, or a Monday to start all over again.
You can't erase last night's binge, but you can aim for a much healthier today!
4) Create a lifestyle you want
Many times, when you want to losë weïght, you will plan up a very strict diet and exercise routine for yourself. Well... there is a high chance that you would not be able to execute it successfully. To make things worse, you hate it.
Why not aim to create a healthy lifestyle you want so that you do not give up your favorite foods?
You must create a realistic and achievable weïght loss plan. After all, you want to plan to SUCCEED, not to fail, right?
If you find difficulty in creating a good plan for yourself, or if you can't seem to discipline yourself to stay true to your plan, I suggest that you engage a personal trainer to help you.
5) Celebrate your small victories
Every time you achieve a small milestone, go ahead and reward yourself.
But do not over-indulge. For example, you can reward yourself a small ice cream once you have managed to complete your first week of exercise routines. Or when you losë your first 3 pounds, you can treat yourself to a slice of cheesecake.
Remember, it is all right to reward yourself for the small challenges you have overcome so that you won't give up so easily. Let it be something you look forward to every time you surmount a challenge.
If you set up your rewards properly, they'll motivate you on a daily basis and you'll find it easier to follow your weïght loss plans!
Bonus: And here's one more extra tip... Don't stress yourself. Take it easy on yourself as you're learning how to be a new, improved, and healthier you. After all, you're only human... a soon-to-be-much-lighter human!
Copyright 2006 Tracy Lee
About the Author:
Tracy Lee is the owner of the "Weïght Loss for Women Over 40" site. Get the latest news, tips, and tricks that can help women over 40 losë weïght safely and permanently, and get your complimentary copy of our Special Report "9 Little-Known Insider Weïght Loss Secrets To Help Women Over 40 Make Those Extra Pounds Disappear" instantly here: http://www.weight-loss-for-women-over-40.com/insidersecrets/
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