---------------------------------------------------
Blue Skies On A Cloudy Day
When we refer to a "beautiful day," we are often describing a day that is sunny, clear, and without a cloud in sight to mar a sky that is a brilliantly perfect blue. We find ourselves bouncing along, light in spirit, free from worries, and enjoying the moment. That is, until the clouds begin to form. The sky may turn grey, and a fog may roll in. Puffs of white take on whimsical, darker shades, and our beautiful day disappears along with the sunshine... or so it seems.
A clear blue sky often inspires in us good cheer, bringing on a lighter, more carefree day. We may find ourselves spending time outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the warmth of the sun. Yet should clouds appear to wash the sky with shadows, we may let this change of weather decrease our energy and enthusiasm, pulling us into our own cloudy funk. Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. They show us a different perspective of our world, while helping us appreciate the moments of illumination that inevitably follow. A rainy day with clouds helps to clear the air, washing away stagnation. Still, it's hard not to feel gloomy or think that the day has been ruined when there are clouds hanging over us. Yet if you can remember that these shades of grey won't last forever, and that hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky, you will find that the beauty of your day is merely playing a game of peek-a-boo with you. Like the mishaps and interruptions that occasionally block the brilliance that is our own lives from shining through, clouds eventually clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon.
The next time you wake up to a cloudy day, remember that these shades of grey in life are there just for the moment. And that no matter how hard the rain falls or how chilly the fog is, the clouds will go away, the sun will break through, and you will be able to see the sky that has always and forever been a beautiful and brilliant blue.
What do you think?
Monday, October 31, 2005
Food Addiction: Is It Real?
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– By Carol Solomon, Ph.D., PCC
Do you feel addicted to food, especially sweet treats?
If you struggle with addictive-like behavior when it comes to sugar, you are not alone. Researchers know that our brains are wired to love sweets, and are studying the food addiction qualities of foods high in sugar, flour and fat.
Even attorneys are getting into the act. While large companies such as Kraft (maker of Oreos), say that their research is not “aimed at creating consumer dependency,” they do share expertise with their corporate counterpart, Phillip Morris.
The attorneys who won huge settlements against the tobacco companies believe they could repeat their wins, if they could prove that food companies hid any addictive qualities of their foods.
Moments after you indulge in sweet treats, your brain’s pleasure center releases opiate-like substances.
The same brain chemicals that create narcotic highs also keep you coming back to sugary treats.
Food addiction is real.
Early studies on lab rats showed that rodents have a ravenous taste for Oreos. In experiments, the rats poked the cookies, sniffed them, and ate them to excess.
Many rats even took them apart and licked the fillings... just like humans.
According to Ann Kelley at the Universïty of Wisconsin, “Even bacteria swim toward sugar.”
The same sort of opiates that create the rush of drugs such as heroin also shape how the brain gets pleasure from food, especially foods high in fat and sugar.
Brain scans in human subjects have shown that Oreos and other sweet snacks act on the same brain pleasure centers that respond to addictive drugs.
The thought and sight of ice cream set off the same neurological pleasure centers in healthy subjects as the images of crack pipes did for drug addicts.
Of course, all this doesn’t PROVE that food is addictive, and some people have more of a problem than others.
But addiction researchers are coming to a more certain conclusion -- sugar is like alcohol and other addictive substances.
Our brains and bodies respond in very similar ways.
Food has the ability to change your appearance, your health, your mood, and your self-esteem.
When you think about it that way, I hope it makes it easier to make more conscious and healthy decisions... peacefully.
About the Author:
Carol Solomon, Ph.D. is a psychologist and personal coach who specializes in helping people who want to losë weïght and eliminate food and weïght issues. She is the author of "Losë Weïght Nöw Stay Slim Forever," a practical "how-to" manual for learning to losë weïght without dieting. Go to http://www.stresseating.com/ to sign up for her FRËE email newsletter, Slim Forever.
– By Carol Solomon, Ph.D., PCC
Do you feel addicted to food, especially sweet treats?
If you struggle with addictive-like behavior when it comes to sugar, you are not alone. Researchers know that our brains are wired to love sweets, and are studying the food addiction qualities of foods high in sugar, flour and fat.
Even attorneys are getting into the act. While large companies such as Kraft (maker of Oreos), say that their research is not “aimed at creating consumer dependency,” they do share expertise with their corporate counterpart, Phillip Morris.
The attorneys who won huge settlements against the tobacco companies believe they could repeat their wins, if they could prove that food companies hid any addictive qualities of their foods.
Moments after you indulge in sweet treats, your brain’s pleasure center releases opiate-like substances.
The same brain chemicals that create narcotic highs also keep you coming back to sugary treats.
Food addiction is real.
Early studies on lab rats showed that rodents have a ravenous taste for Oreos. In experiments, the rats poked the cookies, sniffed them, and ate them to excess.
Many rats even took them apart and licked the fillings... just like humans.
According to Ann Kelley at the Universïty of Wisconsin, “Even bacteria swim toward sugar.”
The same sort of opiates that create the rush of drugs such as heroin also shape how the brain gets pleasure from food, especially foods high in fat and sugar.
Brain scans in human subjects have shown that Oreos and other sweet snacks act on the same brain pleasure centers that respond to addictive drugs.
The thought and sight of ice cream set off the same neurological pleasure centers in healthy subjects as the images of crack pipes did for drug addicts.
Of course, all this doesn’t PROVE that food is addictive, and some people have more of a problem than others.
But addiction researchers are coming to a more certain conclusion -- sugar is like alcohol and other addictive substances.
Our brains and bodies respond in very similar ways.
Food has the ability to change your appearance, your health, your mood, and your self-esteem.
When you think about it that way, I hope it makes it easier to make more conscious and healthy decisions... peacefully.
About the Author:
Carol Solomon, Ph.D. is a psychologist and personal coach who specializes in helping people who want to losë weïght and eliminate food and weïght issues. She is the author of "Losë Weïght Nöw Stay Slim Forever," a practical "how-to" manual for learning to losë weïght without dieting. Go to http://www.stresseating.com/ to sign up for her FRËE email newsletter, Slim Forever.
VIEW EVERY PROBLEM AS AN OPPORTUNITY
----------------------------------------------------
There is always a good side to every situation. Stay optimistic and try to see an opportunity in your problems, not pessimistic and see problems in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole.
You can develop success from any failure. Failure is one of the surest stepping stones to success. No element can do as much for you as failure can, if you're willing to study it and make capital out of it.
When it is dark enough you can see the stars.
©2005 by Max Steingart
There is always a good side to every situation. Stay optimistic and try to see an opportunity in your problems, not pessimistic and see problems in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole.
You can develop success from any failure. Failure is one of the surest stepping stones to success. No element can do as much for you as failure can, if you're willing to study it and make capital out of it.
When it is dark enough you can see the stars.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, October 28, 2005
Composing Bliss
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Poetry As Meditation
The creation of any kind of art can be as much a form of meditation as a vehicle for self-expression. Energetically splashing colors of paint onto a canvas can be like casting the weight of the world off your shoulders, while raising your voice to hit the high notes of a song can inspire you to release your fears so you can reach new heights in your own life. And then there is the act of meditation that can take place when you create poetry. Sculpting your thoughts and emotions into a poem can take you on a journey into your inner universe where your conscious mind is momentarily cast adrift.
Like other forms of meditation, writing poetry requires that you stay fully present during the process, rather than focusing on any outcome. In doing so, you release any inhibitions or ideas of "what needs to happen," so that your thoughts can flow freely through you. When you write poetry, you are able to see the reflections of your innermost self imprinted on a page.
If you'd like to experience poetry as a meditation practice, you might want to try this exercise: Set aside twenty minutes where you can be alone in a quiet space. You may want to look at poems other people have written to see if there is a style of poetry you would like to try. You can also try writing in freeform. The structure of the poem will then organically reveal itself to you. When you are ready, sit down with pen and paper and let the words flow. Don't think about what you are going to say next, and don't worry about spelling, grammar, or logic. Instead, be as descriptive, visually precise, rhythmic, or lyrical as you want to be. When you feel complete, put the pen down, and read over what you've written. Appreciate this work of art you have created. You may even find that thoughts and emotions you had repressed before are now making themselves known so you can process and release them. Writing poetry as a form of meditation lets you slow down your mind long enough for you to get out of your own way, so that your soul can freely express its deepest yearnings.
What do you think?
Poetry As Meditation
The creation of any kind of art can be as much a form of meditation as a vehicle for self-expression. Energetically splashing colors of paint onto a canvas can be like casting the weight of the world off your shoulders, while raising your voice to hit the high notes of a song can inspire you to release your fears so you can reach new heights in your own life. And then there is the act of meditation that can take place when you create poetry. Sculpting your thoughts and emotions into a poem can take you on a journey into your inner universe where your conscious mind is momentarily cast adrift.
Like other forms of meditation, writing poetry requires that you stay fully present during the process, rather than focusing on any outcome. In doing so, you release any inhibitions or ideas of "what needs to happen," so that your thoughts can flow freely through you. When you write poetry, you are able to see the reflections of your innermost self imprinted on a page.
If you'd like to experience poetry as a meditation practice, you might want to try this exercise: Set aside twenty minutes where you can be alone in a quiet space. You may want to look at poems other people have written to see if there is a style of poetry you would like to try. You can also try writing in freeform. The structure of the poem will then organically reveal itself to you. When you are ready, sit down with pen and paper and let the words flow. Don't think about what you are going to say next, and don't worry about spelling, grammar, or logic. Instead, be as descriptive, visually precise, rhythmic, or lyrical as you want to be. When you feel complete, put the pen down, and read over what you've written. Appreciate this work of art you have created. You may even find that thoughts and emotions you had repressed before are now making themselves known so you can process and release them. Writing poetry as a form of meditation lets you slow down your mind long enough for you to get out of your own way, so that your soul can freely express its deepest yearnings.
What do you think?
Eating the Cookie
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- By Rachel Naomi Remen
Another of my patients, a successful businessman, tells me that before his cancer he would become depressed unless things went a certain way. Happiness was "having the cookie." If you had the cookie, things were good. If you didn't have the cookie, life wasn't worth a damn. Unfortunately, the cookie kept changing. Some of the time it was money, sometimes power, sometimes sex. At other times, it was the new car, the biggest contract, and the most prestigious address.
A year and a half after his diagnosis of prostate cancer he sits shaking his head ruefully. "It's like I stopped learning how to live after I was a kid. When I give my son a cookie, he is happy. If I take the cookie away or it breaks, he is unhappy.
But he is two and a half and I am forty-three. It's taken me this long to understand that the cookie will never make me happy for long. The minute you have the cookie it starts to crumble or you start to worry about it crumbling or about someone trying to take it away from you. You know, you have to give up a lot of things to take care of the cookie, to keep it from crumbling and be sure that no one takes it away from you. You may not even get a chance to eat it because you are so busy just trying not to lose it. Having the cookie is not what life is about."
My patient laughs and says cancer has changed him. For the first time he is happy. No matter if his business is doing well or not, no matter if he wins or loses at golf. "Two years ago, cancer asked me, 'Okay, what's important? What is really important?' Well, life is important. Life. Life any way you can have it. Life with the cookie. Life without the cookie. Happiness does not have anything to do with the cookie, it has to do with being alive. Before, who made the time?" He pauses thoughtfully. "Damn, I guess life is the cookie."
- Rachel Naomi Remen
- By Rachel Naomi Remen
Another of my patients, a successful businessman, tells me that before his cancer he would become depressed unless things went a certain way. Happiness was "having the cookie." If you had the cookie, things were good. If you didn't have the cookie, life wasn't worth a damn. Unfortunately, the cookie kept changing. Some of the time it was money, sometimes power, sometimes sex. At other times, it was the new car, the biggest contract, and the most prestigious address.
A year and a half after his diagnosis of prostate cancer he sits shaking his head ruefully. "It's like I stopped learning how to live after I was a kid. When I give my son a cookie, he is happy. If I take the cookie away or it breaks, he is unhappy.
But he is two and a half and I am forty-three. It's taken me this long to understand that the cookie will never make me happy for long. The minute you have the cookie it starts to crumble or you start to worry about it crumbling or about someone trying to take it away from you. You know, you have to give up a lot of things to take care of the cookie, to keep it from crumbling and be sure that no one takes it away from you. You may not even get a chance to eat it because you are so busy just trying not to lose it. Having the cookie is not what life is about."
My patient laughs and says cancer has changed him. For the first time he is happy. No matter if his business is doing well or not, no matter if he wins or loses at golf. "Two years ago, cancer asked me, 'Okay, what's important? What is really important?' Well, life is important. Life. Life any way you can have it. Life with the cookie. Life without the cookie. Happiness does not have anything to do with the cookie, it has to do with being alive. Before, who made the time?" He pauses thoughtfully. "Damn, I guess life is the cookie."
- Rachel Naomi Remen
YOU'VE GOT TO THINK BIG TO BE BIG
-------------------------------------------------
If you don't have a dream, how are you going to make it come true?
High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. You'll always hit what you aim for in the long run. Why not aim high?
Have the courage to follow your dreams. It's the first step towards attaining your destiny.
Big thinking always precedes big achievement.
©2005 by Max Steingart
If you don't have a dream, how are you going to make it come true?
High achievement always takes place in the framework of high expectation. You'll always hit what you aim for in the long run. Why not aim high?
Have the courage to follow your dreams. It's the first step towards attaining your destiny.
Big thinking always precedes big achievement.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Cherishing You
---------------------------------------------------
Falling In love With Yourself
Many people, in seeking out love, tend to look outward rather than inward. Yet falling in love with yourself can be just as wonderful an experience as falling in love with someone else. While the idea of falling in love with ourselves may be perceived as conceited or selfish, choosing to fall in love with who you are is a powerful act of self-love.
When you fall in love with yourself, you can't help but experience a wonderful sense of discovery. You begin to look at yourself again through fresh eyes, becoming more attentive to the little details that make you so unique. Once you discover how much there is about you to fall in love with, you can't help but want to treat yourself as lovingly and respectfully as you would treat anyone who is special to you. You start to give to yourself more because you become more attentive to your own needs and desires.
Choosing to fall in love with yourself is a very personal process that takes time. There is no magic wand you can wave to make this just happen. But there is the magic of your intention and the power of your actions, whether you are taking the time to do the activities you like, speaking to and treating yourself with respect, taking inventory of all your wonderful qualities and accomplishments, or nurturing yourself with plenty of rest and self-care. When you fall in love with yourself, you begin to see yourself more positively, appreciate your unique outlook on life, and treat yourself in a more nurturing way. In loving yourself, you are acknowledging that you are special and deserving of love. Best of all, you are giving yourself one of the greatest gifts you have to give another. You are giving yourself the gift of your love.
What do you think?
Falling In love With Yourself
Many people, in seeking out love, tend to look outward rather than inward. Yet falling in love with yourself can be just as wonderful an experience as falling in love with someone else. While the idea of falling in love with ourselves may be perceived as conceited or selfish, choosing to fall in love with who you are is a powerful act of self-love.
When you fall in love with yourself, you can't help but experience a wonderful sense of discovery. You begin to look at yourself again through fresh eyes, becoming more attentive to the little details that make you so unique. Once you discover how much there is about you to fall in love with, you can't help but want to treat yourself as lovingly and respectfully as you would treat anyone who is special to you. You start to give to yourself more because you become more attentive to your own needs and desires.
Choosing to fall in love with yourself is a very personal process that takes time. There is no magic wand you can wave to make this just happen. But there is the magic of your intention and the power of your actions, whether you are taking the time to do the activities you like, speaking to and treating yourself with respect, taking inventory of all your wonderful qualities and accomplishments, or nurturing yourself with plenty of rest and self-care. When you fall in love with yourself, you begin to see yourself more positively, appreciate your unique outlook on life, and treat yourself in a more nurturing way. In loving yourself, you are acknowledging that you are special and deserving of love. Best of all, you are giving yourself one of the greatest gifts you have to give another. You are giving yourself the gift of your love.
What do you think?
Three Minute Therapy
Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
---------------------------------------------------
– By Michael R. Edelstein, Ph.D.
w/David Ramsay Steele, Ph.D.
Worry: Sharks in the Swimming Pool
Chris was an ambitious computer consultant haunted by a peculiar anxiety -- his fear that nuts and bolts, or other components of airplanes, would fall on his head, possibly killing him. If he heard the sound of an aircraft while walking outside, he would consider taking shelter. He felt anxious even if the plane were not directly overhead -- for he speculated that falling objects might travel some lateral distance if they were thrown to the side by the airplane turning or by a powerful wind.
This is one of a long list of some of my clients’ far-fetched fears. Hëre are a few other examples:
** An elevator inspector was obsessed with the thought that he might suddenly decide to become a woman and have a sëx-change operation -- though he nevër had felt such a desire, and in his sëxual preferences and behavior he was an entirely typical heterosexual male.
** A lawyer was afraid that she might inadvertently impregnate herself by touching microscopic deposits of semen on objects, such as a doorknob, and then accidentally touching herself while in the bathroom.
** A middle-aged, married accountant who had sent an angry but non-threatening memo to a former boss, began to worry that the boss might sue her, causing her to losë her house and all her savings and become a bag lady.
** A timid lady, who would nevër hurt a fly, always avoided listening to news broadcasts and became panicky if she overheard part of such a broadcast, because she was afraid that she might hear of some atrocity such as a mass killing and be uncontrollably impelled to copy it.
** A yöung music teacher was afraid to go into a public swimming pool in a Midwestern city because there might be sharks there, which might eat him, or at the very least bite off one of his feet. An intelligent person, he readily admitted that sharks did not regularly inhabit swimming pools. He knew that it would be difficult to smuggle a live shark into such a pool; that if there were a shark there, he ought to be able to see it; and that any self-respecting shark would no doubt be so bothered by the chlorine it would not lie quietly in wait at the bottom of the pool. Nevertheless, he described himself as petrified by the thought that such a thing might happen, so that he had given up his twice-weekly swim. For my part, I conceded that I could not conclusively prove that he would nevër meet a shark in a swimming pool!
Such absurd fears are more common than many of us realize. There is, for instance, a cult magazine titled Shark Fear, and legends about sharks, piranhas, or alligators in the plumbing are rife from Florida to New York City. And although these fears may sound ridiculous to most people, that is no consolation to the individuals who suffer from them.
Hëre are some other fears which are widely held -- I have encountered them all many times -- and which cause real pain to millïons of people. Consider whether they are any more reasonable than the preposterous fears mentioned above:
** The fear of being on a high floor of a tall building because one side of the building might abruptly crumble, or you might suddenly feel an irresistible urge to jump through the window.
** The fear that one will be possessed by an unconquerable urge to do something outrageous and embarrassing in public. For instance, someone sitting in the audience of a theater may suddenly be struck by the thought that he might get up from his seat, rush to the front, and jump onto the stage with the actors. He may then sit there in a cold sweat, not enjoying the play, because of his worry that he may at any moment uncontrollably do this outrageous thing that he does not in the least want to do.
** The fear that one will die while asleep. Someone may notice that his heartbeat slows down as he becomes drowsy, and he may then stat worrying that it will stop altogether if he falls asleep.
** The fear of killing or mutilating someone close to you. Mothers sometimes experience a panicky fear that they will plunge a knife into their child, and husbands sometimes torment themselves with the fear that they will strangle their wïves.
These commonplace anxieties are just as unreasonable as the more unusual ones mentioned earlier. We can easily see that they are all fears of something extremely unlikely. This gives a clue to the root of much unnecessary anxiety: a demand that one get an ironclad, surefire, one-hundred-percent guarantëe that something unpleasant absolutely will not occur.
With unlikely events, people are more influenced by a possibility that catches their imagination in some dramatic, spectacular way, rather than by the objective likelihood that it will occur. For instance, you often hear people argue against moving to California because they might die in an earthquake, whereas the death toll from cold weather -- not to mention tornados and thunderstorms -- east of the Rockies hugely exceeds fatalities from earthquakes in the West. Or some people will be nervous about flying because of the possibility of a fatal plane crash, but driving to the airport is objectively more dangerous.
About the Author:
Dr. Edelstein is a Training Supervisor and Fellow of the Albert Ellis Institute. He holds a diplomate in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy from, and serves on the Board of Advisors of the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He is also Past President of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy. Dr. Edelstein is also a SMART Recovery Professional Advisor.
In his practice, Dr. Edelstein specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and addictions, and is one of the few practitioners of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the Bay Area. Dr. Edelstein is also a SMART Recovery Professional Advisor.
Dr. Edelstein lectures nationally and internationally, appears on radio and television, and is published in psychological journals and magazines. He writes the advice column, "Ask Dr. Mike," which appears in the San Francisco Intelligencer.
You may find Dr. Edelstein's website at http://www.threeminutetherapy.com
---------------------------------------------------
– By Michael R. Edelstein, Ph.D.
w/David Ramsay Steele, Ph.D.
Worry: Sharks in the Swimming Pool
Chris was an ambitious computer consultant haunted by a peculiar anxiety -- his fear that nuts and bolts, or other components of airplanes, would fall on his head, possibly killing him. If he heard the sound of an aircraft while walking outside, he would consider taking shelter. He felt anxious even if the plane were not directly overhead -- for he speculated that falling objects might travel some lateral distance if they were thrown to the side by the airplane turning or by a powerful wind.
This is one of a long list of some of my clients’ far-fetched fears. Hëre are a few other examples:
** An elevator inspector was obsessed with the thought that he might suddenly decide to become a woman and have a sëx-change operation -- though he nevër had felt such a desire, and in his sëxual preferences and behavior he was an entirely typical heterosexual male.
** A lawyer was afraid that she might inadvertently impregnate herself by touching microscopic deposits of semen on objects, such as a doorknob, and then accidentally touching herself while in the bathroom.
** A middle-aged, married accountant who had sent an angry but non-threatening memo to a former boss, began to worry that the boss might sue her, causing her to losë her house and all her savings and become a bag lady.
** A timid lady, who would nevër hurt a fly, always avoided listening to news broadcasts and became panicky if she overheard part of such a broadcast, because she was afraid that she might hear of some atrocity such as a mass killing and be uncontrollably impelled to copy it.
** A yöung music teacher was afraid to go into a public swimming pool in a Midwestern city because there might be sharks there, which might eat him, or at the very least bite off one of his feet. An intelligent person, he readily admitted that sharks did not regularly inhabit swimming pools. He knew that it would be difficult to smuggle a live shark into such a pool; that if there were a shark there, he ought to be able to see it; and that any self-respecting shark would no doubt be so bothered by the chlorine it would not lie quietly in wait at the bottom of the pool. Nevertheless, he described himself as petrified by the thought that such a thing might happen, so that he had given up his twice-weekly swim. For my part, I conceded that I could not conclusively prove that he would nevër meet a shark in a swimming pool!
Such absurd fears are more common than many of us realize. There is, for instance, a cult magazine titled Shark Fear, and legends about sharks, piranhas, or alligators in the plumbing are rife from Florida to New York City. And although these fears may sound ridiculous to most people, that is no consolation to the individuals who suffer from them.
Hëre are some other fears which are widely held -- I have encountered them all many times -- and which cause real pain to millïons of people. Consider whether they are any more reasonable than the preposterous fears mentioned above:
** The fear of being on a high floor of a tall building because one side of the building might abruptly crumble, or you might suddenly feel an irresistible urge to jump through the window.
** The fear that one will be possessed by an unconquerable urge to do something outrageous and embarrassing in public. For instance, someone sitting in the audience of a theater may suddenly be struck by the thought that he might get up from his seat, rush to the front, and jump onto the stage with the actors. He may then sit there in a cold sweat, not enjoying the play, because of his worry that he may at any moment uncontrollably do this outrageous thing that he does not in the least want to do.
** The fear that one will die while asleep. Someone may notice that his heartbeat slows down as he becomes drowsy, and he may then stat worrying that it will stop altogether if he falls asleep.
** The fear of killing or mutilating someone close to you. Mothers sometimes experience a panicky fear that they will plunge a knife into their child, and husbands sometimes torment themselves with the fear that they will strangle their wïves.
These commonplace anxieties are just as unreasonable as the more unusual ones mentioned earlier. We can easily see that they are all fears of something extremely unlikely. This gives a clue to the root of much unnecessary anxiety: a demand that one get an ironclad, surefire, one-hundred-percent guarantëe that something unpleasant absolutely will not occur.
With unlikely events, people are more influenced by a possibility that catches their imagination in some dramatic, spectacular way, rather than by the objective likelihood that it will occur. For instance, you often hear people argue against moving to California because they might die in an earthquake, whereas the death toll from cold weather -- not to mention tornados and thunderstorms -- east of the Rockies hugely exceeds fatalities from earthquakes in the West. Or some people will be nervous about flying because of the possibility of a fatal plane crash, but driving to the airport is objectively more dangerous.
About the Author:
Dr. Edelstein is a Training Supervisor and Fellow of the Albert Ellis Institute. He holds a diplomate in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy from, and serves on the Board of Advisors of the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He is also Past President of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy. Dr. Edelstein is also a SMART Recovery Professional Advisor.
In his practice, Dr. Edelstein specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and addictions, and is one of the few practitioners of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the Bay Area. Dr. Edelstein is also a SMART Recovery Professional Advisor.
Dr. Edelstein lectures nationally and internationally, appears on radio and television, and is published in psychological journals and magazines. He writes the advice column, "Ask Dr. Mike," which appears in the San Francisco Intelligencer.
You may find Dr. Edelstein's website at http://www.threeminutetherapy.com
EVERY WINNER HAS SCARS
--------------------------------------------------
Life is made up of a series of experiences. Each one will make you stronger, even though it may be hard for you to realize it at the time.
Life is your classroom in which you're being tested, tried, and passed. Always try to stay in the midst of life and activity. Don't isolate yourself from the action. Your character develops itself in the stream of life.
The setbacks and hardships you endure actually help you in your march forward to success. The world was built to develop your character.
Life expects you to make progress in reasonable time. That's why those elementary school chairs are so small.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Life is made up of a series of experiences. Each one will make you stronger, even though it may be hard for you to realize it at the time.
Life is your classroom in which you're being tested, tried, and passed. Always try to stay in the midst of life and activity. Don't isolate yourself from the action. Your character develops itself in the stream of life.
The setbacks and hardships you endure actually help you in your march forward to success. The world was built to develop your character.
Life expects you to make progress in reasonable time. That's why those elementary school chairs are so small.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
A Grounding Embrace
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Hugging A Tree
Trees are among the world's greatest givers. Their slow and gentle life cycles provide the world with clean air, their roots filter water, and their majestically spreading branches provide shade. Full of vibrant, natural energy, trees can also give us the gifts of peace and nurturance. Hugging or sitting with your spine against the trunk of any tree can ground your body and inspire a profound closeness with nature, as the energy of the tree connects to you. Making physical contact with a tree can help you relax, alleviate stress, sleep more deeply, and hold on to more positive energy. Trees can absorb great amounts of energy and have the ability to soak up harmful energy from deep within you. If you are feeling anxious, sad, drained, or tense, then try hugging a tree.
Go to the woods, a garden, or a park, and find a tree that you would like to hug. Stand next to the tree and close your eyes. Relax your senses while breathing in the scent of leaves and bark. Listen to the creaking of the branches. When you feel settled, open your eyes, keeping them unfocused, and walk around its trunk. Feel the unique energy of the tree as your auras meet each other. Ask the tree for permission to touch it. If you feel the tree saying yes to you, begin breathing in its energy. Put your arms around the trunk and press your face to its bark. Embrace the tree for as long as you wish, feeling the roughness of its wood and the strength of its years. Relax into that strength and let the tree support you. You may even be able to physically feel a cyclical flow of energy taking place between your body and the tree.
If you would feel more comfortable doing so, you can sit with your back pressed to the tree for the same effect. Likewise, if you are seeking greater comfort, you may want to wrap your legs and arms around the tree, either at the base or by straddling a branch. Remember to thank the tree because, by hugging your tree, you are drinking from the well of natural copious energy cultivated by the tree's many years on this earth.
What do you think?
Hugging A Tree
Trees are among the world's greatest givers. Their slow and gentle life cycles provide the world with clean air, their roots filter water, and their majestically spreading branches provide shade. Full of vibrant, natural energy, trees can also give us the gifts of peace and nurturance. Hugging or sitting with your spine against the trunk of any tree can ground your body and inspire a profound closeness with nature, as the energy of the tree connects to you. Making physical contact with a tree can help you relax, alleviate stress, sleep more deeply, and hold on to more positive energy. Trees can absorb great amounts of energy and have the ability to soak up harmful energy from deep within you. If you are feeling anxious, sad, drained, or tense, then try hugging a tree.
Go to the woods, a garden, or a park, and find a tree that you would like to hug. Stand next to the tree and close your eyes. Relax your senses while breathing in the scent of leaves and bark. Listen to the creaking of the branches. When you feel settled, open your eyes, keeping them unfocused, and walk around its trunk. Feel the unique energy of the tree as your auras meet each other. Ask the tree for permission to touch it. If you feel the tree saying yes to you, begin breathing in its energy. Put your arms around the trunk and press your face to its bark. Embrace the tree for as long as you wish, feeling the roughness of its wood and the strength of its years. Relax into that strength and let the tree support you. You may even be able to physically feel a cyclical flow of energy taking place between your body and the tree.
If you would feel more comfortable doing so, you can sit with your back pressed to the tree for the same effect. Likewise, if you are seeking greater comfort, you may want to wrap your legs and arms around the tree, either at the base or by straddling a branch. Remember to thank the tree because, by hugging your tree, you are drinking from the well of natural copious energy cultivated by the tree's many years on this earth.
What do you think?
Codependent Relationships
Takers and Caretakers
----------------------------------------------------
– By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Takers and caretakers – they often seem to find each other! As a counselor who has worked with relationships for 37 years, I can tell you that this is the most frequent relationship dynamic that I encounter.
Takers are people who tend to be narcissistic – that is, they are self-centered with an excessive need for attention and admiration. The taker attempts to control getting love, attention, approval or sëx from others with anger, blame, violence, criticism, irritation, righteousness, neediness, invasive touch, invasive energy, incessant talking and/or emotional drama. The taker uses many forms of both overt and covert control to get the attention he or she wants.
Takers not only want a lot of control, but are often afraid of being controlled and become overtly or covertly resistant to doing what someone else wants them to do. The taker might resist with denial, defending, procrastination, rebellion, irresponsibility, indifference, withdrawal, deadness, numbness, rigidity, and/or incompetence.
In a relationship, takers operate from the belief that “You are responsible for my feelings of pain and joy. It is your job to make sure that I am okay.”
Caretakers, on the other hand, operate from the belief that “I am responsible for your feelings. When I do it right, you will be happy and then I will receive the approval I need.” Caretakers sacrifice their own needs and wants to take care of the needs and wants of others, even when others are capable of doing it themselves. Caretakers give to others from fear rather than love - they give to get.
Neither takers nor caretakers take responsibility for their own feelings and wellbeing. Takers generally attempt to have control over others’ giving them the attention and admiration they want in overt ways, while caretakers attempt to have control over getting approval in more covert ways, such as compliance, doing too much for others, and/or withholding their wants and opinions.
Because neither takers nor caretakers are taking care of themselves, they will each end up feeling angry, resentful, trapped, unappreciated, unseen, unloved, misunderstood, and/or unacknowledged.
I tell my clients that whenever they feel this way in a relationship, it is because they are expecting the other person to give them what they are not giving to themselves. When we are not seeing, valuing, acknowledging, or understanding ourselves, and when we are not attending to our own wants and needs, we will always feel upset when others treat us just like we are treating ourselves.
Codependent relationships – relationships of two takers, two caretakers, or a taker and a caretaker – will always run into problems. Many people leave these relationships, only to discover the same problems in their next relationships. Takers and caretakers can switch places in different relationships and over different issues, but the problems remain the same – anger, resentment, distance, lack of sexuality, boredom, feeling unloved and unloving.
There really is a way to heal this.
Relationships heal when individuals heal. When each partner does their inner work – for example practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach (see www.innerbonding.com for a frëe course) – their relationship system heals. When each person learns to take full personal responsibility for his or her own feelings of pain and joy, they stop pulling on each other and blaming each other. When each person learns to fill themselves with love and share that love with each other, instead of always trying to get love, the relationship heals.
Learning how to take100% responsibility for your own feelings is one of the essential ingredients in creating a healthy relationship. This means learning to be conscious of what you are feeling and being open to learning about what you are doing to create your own feelings, instead of being a victim and believing that others are causing your feelings. Your feelings come from how you treat yourself and others, from what you tell yourself and what you believe about yourself and others, rather than from others’ behavior. Blaming others for your feelings will always lead to major relationship problems.
Why not start today by taking your eyes off your partner and putting them squarely on yourself? In reality, you are the only one you actually have control over. You are the only one you can change.
About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding nöw! Visit her website for a FRËE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phöne Sessions Available.
----------------------------------------------------
– By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Takers and caretakers – they often seem to find each other! As a counselor who has worked with relationships for 37 years, I can tell you that this is the most frequent relationship dynamic that I encounter.
Takers are people who tend to be narcissistic – that is, they are self-centered with an excessive need for attention and admiration. The taker attempts to control getting love, attention, approval or sëx from others with anger, blame, violence, criticism, irritation, righteousness, neediness, invasive touch, invasive energy, incessant talking and/or emotional drama. The taker uses many forms of both overt and covert control to get the attention he or she wants.
Takers not only want a lot of control, but are often afraid of being controlled and become overtly or covertly resistant to doing what someone else wants them to do. The taker might resist with denial, defending, procrastination, rebellion, irresponsibility, indifference, withdrawal, deadness, numbness, rigidity, and/or incompetence.
In a relationship, takers operate from the belief that “You are responsible for my feelings of pain and joy. It is your job to make sure that I am okay.”
Caretakers, on the other hand, operate from the belief that “I am responsible for your feelings. When I do it right, you will be happy and then I will receive the approval I need.” Caretakers sacrifice their own needs and wants to take care of the needs and wants of others, even when others are capable of doing it themselves. Caretakers give to others from fear rather than love - they give to get.
Neither takers nor caretakers take responsibility for their own feelings and wellbeing. Takers generally attempt to have control over others’ giving them the attention and admiration they want in overt ways, while caretakers attempt to have control over getting approval in more covert ways, such as compliance, doing too much for others, and/or withholding their wants and opinions.
Because neither takers nor caretakers are taking care of themselves, they will each end up feeling angry, resentful, trapped, unappreciated, unseen, unloved, misunderstood, and/or unacknowledged.
I tell my clients that whenever they feel this way in a relationship, it is because they are expecting the other person to give them what they are not giving to themselves. When we are not seeing, valuing, acknowledging, or understanding ourselves, and when we are not attending to our own wants and needs, we will always feel upset when others treat us just like we are treating ourselves.
Codependent relationships – relationships of two takers, two caretakers, or a taker and a caretaker – will always run into problems. Many people leave these relationships, only to discover the same problems in their next relationships. Takers and caretakers can switch places in different relationships and over different issues, but the problems remain the same – anger, resentment, distance, lack of sexuality, boredom, feeling unloved and unloving.
There really is a way to heal this.
Relationships heal when individuals heal. When each partner does their inner work – for example practicing the Inner Bonding process that we teach (see www.innerbonding.com for a frëe course) – their relationship system heals. When each person learns to take full personal responsibility for his or her own feelings of pain and joy, they stop pulling on each other and blaming each other. When each person learns to fill themselves with love and share that love with each other, instead of always trying to get love, the relationship heals.
Learning how to take100% responsibility for your own feelings is one of the essential ingredients in creating a healthy relationship. This means learning to be conscious of what you are feeling and being open to learning about what you are doing to create your own feelings, instead of being a victim and believing that others are causing your feelings. Your feelings come from how you treat yourself and others, from what you tell yourself and what you believe about yourself and others, rather than from others’ behavior. Blaming others for your feelings will always lead to major relationship problems.
Why not start today by taking your eyes off your partner and putting them squarely on yourself? In reality, you are the only one you actually have control over. You are the only one you can change.
About the Author:
Margaret Paul, Ph.D., is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding nöw! Visit her website for a FRËE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phöne Sessions Available.
YOUR GOALS WILL LEAD YOU TO SUCCESS
-------------------------------------------------
If you have correct goals, and you keep pursuing them the best way you know how, everything else will fall into line. If you do the right thing right, you're going to succeed.
You are what and where you are today because you first imagined it. Knowing where you want to go is all you need to get there.
Just return over and over to that picture in your mind of the place you are headed for.
The first essential element of success is to know what you want.
©2005 by Max Steingart
If you have correct goals, and you keep pursuing them the best way you know how, everything else will fall into line. If you do the right thing right, you're going to succeed.
You are what and where you are today because you first imagined it. Knowing where you want to go is all you need to get there.
Just return over and over to that picture in your mind of the place you are headed for.
The first essential element of success is to know what you want.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Checking Your Emotions
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Why We Lash Out
Each one of us has experienced situations where we've found ourselves lashing out at someone without meaning to. We later berate ourselves for losing control and feel guilty for treating the other person badly. And while it is human nature that our emotions and moods will get the better of us from time to time, we can learn to navigate our feelings and negotiate difficult situations without losing our center.
Often, when we lash out, it is because we are having a difficult time containing the emotions that are coming up inside of us. We may be feeling overwhelmed, afraid, frustrated, stressed out, or angry. Having these feelings boiling up inside of us can be very uncomfortable, and it is natural to want to release them. But when we release our feelings from our body by directing them outward and toward someone else, they inevitably impact the "innocent bystander" to whom we are directing this energy. They not only get the brunt of our anger, frustration, or stress, but also they can actually experience this energy as a physical force hitting their bodies.
When you find yourself in a situation where you are about to lash out at the person in front of you, try to center yourself by breathing slowly and deeply. A few slow inhales and exhales can help dissipate the intensity of your feelings before they escape you. Later, when you find yourself in a more reflective state, sit down for a moment; recall the feelings in your body just before and during your outburst; note where you feel sensations coming up in your body; and ask yourself if they are connected to any core issue or experience from your life. If nothing comes to mind, then revisit the situation again, exaggerating the details of what happened by indulging in outlandish "what if" fantasies. Exaggerating events after the fact can help expose the unconscious subtext behind your heated response. Understanding the motivation behind your reactions can help you avoid lashing out again when a similar situation comes up. In learning to navigate around your emotions, you are giving yourself the tools to feel better the next time your emotions start to boil. In doing so, you will be taking care of yourself by alleviating your own uncomfortable feelings while respecting and protecting those around you.
What do you think?
Why We Lash Out
Each one of us has experienced situations where we've found ourselves lashing out at someone without meaning to. We later berate ourselves for losing control and feel guilty for treating the other person badly. And while it is human nature that our emotions and moods will get the better of us from time to time, we can learn to navigate our feelings and negotiate difficult situations without losing our center.
Often, when we lash out, it is because we are having a difficult time containing the emotions that are coming up inside of us. We may be feeling overwhelmed, afraid, frustrated, stressed out, or angry. Having these feelings boiling up inside of us can be very uncomfortable, and it is natural to want to release them. But when we release our feelings from our body by directing them outward and toward someone else, they inevitably impact the "innocent bystander" to whom we are directing this energy. They not only get the brunt of our anger, frustration, or stress, but also they can actually experience this energy as a physical force hitting their bodies.
When you find yourself in a situation where you are about to lash out at the person in front of you, try to center yourself by breathing slowly and deeply. A few slow inhales and exhales can help dissipate the intensity of your feelings before they escape you. Later, when you find yourself in a more reflective state, sit down for a moment; recall the feelings in your body just before and during your outburst; note where you feel sensations coming up in your body; and ask yourself if they are connected to any core issue or experience from your life. If nothing comes to mind, then revisit the situation again, exaggerating the details of what happened by indulging in outlandish "what if" fantasies. Exaggerating events after the fact can help expose the unconscious subtext behind your heated response. Understanding the motivation behind your reactions can help you avoid lashing out again when a similar situation comes up. In learning to navigate around your emotions, you are giving yourself the tools to feel better the next time your emotions start to boil. In doing so, you will be taking care of yourself by alleviating your own uncomfortable feelings while respecting and protecting those around you.
What do you think?
The 9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul
----------------------------------------------------
– By Michael Norwood
When my father was slowly progressing through the phases of a terminal illness, as a final legacy he revealed to me a sequence of 9 extraordinary "wealth-building" steps he nicknamed, "The 9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul."
On the surface, his lessons appeared to be about building material wealth.
On a much deeper level, these insights held the secrët for overcoming our greatest challenges and achieving the highest wealth of the soul.
My father, himself, had used these same insights as an army pilot-trainee to turn several near-crashes into soaring flights. Later, these insights were the means through which he would raise himself up from the devastating death of his beloved daughtër - my sister.
Four years after my father's last great lesson to me, while actually writing a book on the subject, I awakened one morning perceiving a profoundly deeper significance of his 9 Insights.
I suddenly understood that they are the actual stages of "TRANSFORMATION."
Whether you desire to transform a dream into reality, failure into triumph, grief into grace, or a relationship breakdown into a bridge of love and higher understanding, these universal principles are the means to naturally accomplish your goals.
Here is a summary of my father's "9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul":
Insight 1: Insight
Just as a tree begins with a seed, so too is Insight the "seed" that begins your transformation. One of the greatest insights is simply the knowledge that "You Can." You CAN overcome your greatest challenges. You CAN transform your dreams into your own living, breathing reality. You CAN create a new life for yourself and your loved ones.
Insight 2: Timing
The saying "timing is everything" is not just a nice expression. Without developing excellent timing, you will always be fighting the natural ebb and flow of the universe. Just as most seeds sprout on a particular day in springtime, YOU can develop the ability to recognize the precise day of spring for all you do.
Whether asking for a raise, launching a business venture, or bringing up a difficult subject to a friend, loved one or business partner, your ability to recognize the often brief moments of maximum opportunïty will determine how much success and balance you achieve.
Insight 3: Patience
Only humans are impatient. Seeds do not attempt to turn into trees in winter. Eagles don't try to soar during rainstorms. And Mayflowers do not blossom in August. Developing patience - your ability to wait for the right moment in your life cycle to accomplish a particular task or goal - is all important to develop excellent timing and great success.
Insight 4: Surrender
What must you do to let go of your need to control things? How can you let go of your past mistakes and history that may be preventing you from moving forward? How do you spiritually surrender to "the process"?
Without spiritual surrender, you will nevër be content, you will nevër have patience and excellent timing. You will nevër experience the joy and "flow" of having the greatest business and life partner you could ever possibly have: namely, "The Universe" and "God."
Insight 5: Grounding
With strong roots, a tree will survive any storm. When YOU create a strong foundation, your greatest efforts will withstand the many storms and challenges you inevitably face in achieving your goals.
Grounding is what you use to nourish and nurture your goals. Grounding is the books, tapes, schooling, seminars, and people you surround yourself with to support yourself in whatever you want to achieve.
Want to have a great relationship? Learn from those who already have one. Want to earn a million dollars? Read books, listen to tapes, and receive coaching by those who show you how. When you have ample "grounding" to support your dreams, the challenges that come along are merely temporary storms that ultimately make you stronger and more highly energized.
Insight 6: Balance
This is a tough one, especially for the most successful people. Even when a tree is well developed, without regular water, sunshine and nourishment, it will not be healthy. What must you do to balance yourself?
How much sunshine do you get? How much exercise do you regularly do? How nourishing is your diet? How much quiet time do you take on a daily basis with yourself and your loved ones?
Life is a balancing act. Isn't the minute, hour, day or month you save by working through your natural point of balance just another minute, hour, day or month you subtract from your lifetïme?
Take breaks to smell the roses along the way, and in fact, you'll naturally discover the universe rises up to become your partner rather than it being you against the world.
Insights 7, 8, 9: Growth, Evolution, Transformation
* Growth automatically occurs in direct proportion to your ability to empower yourself with the first 6 Insights.
* Evolution blossoms when your growth takes you to a new and higher stage of life, unfolding a powerful Vision of your life you probably nevër foresaw.
* Transformation occurs when you become something very different than that which you started off as. Your initial seeds of Insight becomes a tree of knowledge and accomplishment. You are ready for something greater than achieving for your own personal gain.
You, the student, become the teacher, the mentor, the leader. You are the vessel of seeds to birth a new generation. You enjoy the glow of knowing you have followed your highest path that ultimately leads you to helping others follow theirs.
All along, you have been transforming into a balanced, wealthy and fulfilled human being.
All along, you have been transforming yourself into a "Wealthy Soul."
About the Author:
This article was written by Michael Norwood and is based on the book “The 9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul.”
It has been described as "The Most Life Changing Book I Ever Read!" It is rare that the Wall Street Journal, authors like Larry Dossey and Marlo Morgan, and a producer from Touched By An Angel all agree that this little known classic book can powerfully change your life.
For the next 21 days, the publisher will send you this handsome 255 page, gold foil embossed book for you to read for frëe. To read it for frëe, visit http://snipurl.com/it2j
– By Michael Norwood
When my father was slowly progressing through the phases of a terminal illness, as a final legacy he revealed to me a sequence of 9 extraordinary "wealth-building" steps he nicknamed, "The 9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul."
On the surface, his lessons appeared to be about building material wealth.
On a much deeper level, these insights held the secrët for overcoming our greatest challenges and achieving the highest wealth of the soul.
My father, himself, had used these same insights as an army pilot-trainee to turn several near-crashes into soaring flights. Later, these insights were the means through which he would raise himself up from the devastating death of his beloved daughtër - my sister.
Four years after my father's last great lesson to me, while actually writing a book on the subject, I awakened one morning perceiving a profoundly deeper significance of his 9 Insights.
I suddenly understood that they are the actual stages of "TRANSFORMATION."
Whether you desire to transform a dream into reality, failure into triumph, grief into grace, or a relationship breakdown into a bridge of love and higher understanding, these universal principles are the means to naturally accomplish your goals.
Here is a summary of my father's "9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul":
Insight 1: Insight
Just as a tree begins with a seed, so too is Insight the "seed" that begins your transformation. One of the greatest insights is simply the knowledge that "You Can." You CAN overcome your greatest challenges. You CAN transform your dreams into your own living, breathing reality. You CAN create a new life for yourself and your loved ones.
Insight 2: Timing
The saying "timing is everything" is not just a nice expression. Without developing excellent timing, you will always be fighting the natural ebb and flow of the universe. Just as most seeds sprout on a particular day in springtime, YOU can develop the ability to recognize the precise day of spring for all you do.
Whether asking for a raise, launching a business venture, or bringing up a difficult subject to a friend, loved one or business partner, your ability to recognize the often brief moments of maximum opportunïty will determine how much success and balance you achieve.
Insight 3: Patience
Only humans are impatient. Seeds do not attempt to turn into trees in winter. Eagles don't try to soar during rainstorms. And Mayflowers do not blossom in August. Developing patience - your ability to wait for the right moment in your life cycle to accomplish a particular task or goal - is all important to develop excellent timing and great success.
Insight 4: Surrender
What must you do to let go of your need to control things? How can you let go of your past mistakes and history that may be preventing you from moving forward? How do you spiritually surrender to "the process"?
Without spiritual surrender, you will nevër be content, you will nevër have patience and excellent timing. You will nevër experience the joy and "flow" of having the greatest business and life partner you could ever possibly have: namely, "The Universe" and "God."
Insight 5: Grounding
With strong roots, a tree will survive any storm. When YOU create a strong foundation, your greatest efforts will withstand the many storms and challenges you inevitably face in achieving your goals.
Grounding is what you use to nourish and nurture your goals. Grounding is the books, tapes, schooling, seminars, and people you surround yourself with to support yourself in whatever you want to achieve.
Want to have a great relationship? Learn from those who already have one. Want to earn a million dollars? Read books, listen to tapes, and receive coaching by those who show you how. When you have ample "grounding" to support your dreams, the challenges that come along are merely temporary storms that ultimately make you stronger and more highly energized.
Insight 6: Balance
This is a tough one, especially for the most successful people. Even when a tree is well developed, without regular water, sunshine and nourishment, it will not be healthy. What must you do to balance yourself?
How much sunshine do you get? How much exercise do you regularly do? How nourishing is your diet? How much quiet time do you take on a daily basis with yourself and your loved ones?
Life is a balancing act. Isn't the minute, hour, day or month you save by working through your natural point of balance just another minute, hour, day or month you subtract from your lifetïme?
Take breaks to smell the roses along the way, and in fact, you'll naturally discover the universe rises up to become your partner rather than it being you against the world.
Insights 7, 8, 9: Growth, Evolution, Transformation
* Growth automatically occurs in direct proportion to your ability to empower yourself with the first 6 Insights.
* Evolution blossoms when your growth takes you to a new and higher stage of life, unfolding a powerful Vision of your life you probably nevër foresaw.
* Transformation occurs when you become something very different than that which you started off as. Your initial seeds of Insight becomes a tree of knowledge and accomplishment. You are ready for something greater than achieving for your own personal gain.
You, the student, become the teacher, the mentor, the leader. You are the vessel of seeds to birth a new generation. You enjoy the glow of knowing you have followed your highest path that ultimately leads you to helping others follow theirs.
All along, you have been transforming into a balanced, wealthy and fulfilled human being.
All along, you have been transforming yourself into a "Wealthy Soul."
About the Author:
This article was written by Michael Norwood and is based on the book “The 9 Insights of the Wealthy Soul.”
It has been described as "The Most Life Changing Book I Ever Read!" It is rare that the Wall Street Journal, authors like Larry Dossey and Marlo Morgan, and a producer from Touched By An Angel all agree that this little known classic book can powerfully change your life.
For the next 21 days, the publisher will send you this handsome 255 page, gold foil embossed book for you to read for frëe. To read it for frëe, visit http://snipurl.com/it2j
THE SEED TO SUCCESS IS IN YOUR IMAGINATION
---------------------------------------------------
Visualize all the things that you want in life. Then make your mental blueprint, and begin to build. Your imagination can show you how to turn your possibilities into reality.
You must make every thought, every fact, that comes into your mind pay you a profit. Make those mental images work and produce for you. Think of things not as they are but as you want them to be. Don't just dream, be creative.
The will to succeed springs from the knowledge that you can succeed.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Visualize all the things that you want in life. Then make your mental blueprint, and begin to build. Your imagination can show you how to turn your possibilities into reality.
You must make every thought, every fact, that comes into your mind pay you a profit. Make those mental images work and produce for you. Think of things not as they are but as you want them to be. Don't just dream, be creative.
The will to succeed springs from the knowledge that you can succeed.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, October 24, 2005
Answering The Call
--------------------------------------------------
Taking Responsibility For Your Destiny
There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality.
Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside.
Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands.
What do you think?
Taking Responsibility For Your Destiny
There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality.
Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside.
Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands.
What do you think?
Flaws
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-By Author Unknown
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took
notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its
failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength.
- Unknown Author
-By Author Unknown
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path." Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took
notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its
failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength.
- Unknown Author
ALL GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS TAKE TIME
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Every big accomplishment is a series of little accomplishments. To achieve maximum success you must accept that progress is made one step at a time.
A building is built one brick at a time. Football games are won one play at a time. A business grows bigger one customer at a time. You walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out. Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or an apple miraculously appears.
If you want to grow an apple, you must give it time. There must be time for it to blossom, bear fruit and then ripen.
That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Every big accomplishment is a series of little accomplishments. To achieve maximum success you must accept that progress is made one step at a time.
A building is built one brick at a time. Football games are won one play at a time. A business grows bigger one customer at a time. You walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.
Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out. Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or an apple miraculously appears.
If you want to grow an apple, you must give it time. There must be time for it to blossom, bear fruit and then ripen.
That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, October 21, 2005
Nourishment For The Soul
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Breaking Bread Together
As we rush to keep up with the speed of our busy lives, one of the first activities we tend to sacrifice is the sharing of a meal with other people. We may find ourselves eating alone at the kitchen counter or hurriedly drinking a cup of soup while driving in our cars. Yet taking the time to share a meal with family or a close friend not only feeds your body, but also it can nourish your soul. Companionship can fill the heart the way warm stew can satisfy your belly. Eating a meal with others allows you to slow down, while nurturing your relationships.
Breaking bread with others can be treated like a ritual where the gestures of sharing and togetherness are just as important as the food you eat. Planning, preparing, and consuming a meal are all stepping off points toward good conversation, bonding, and learning about someone else. Inviting a new acquaintance to share a meal can be the start of a wonderful friendship. A shared breakfast can be a brainstorming session between coworkers, or it can set the tone for a positive day for family members. Lunch with a friend can be a welcome break from the day's stress, as well as a chance to unwind. Dinner with loved ones can be a chance to talk about the day's events with people who truly care. Sometimes, there may even be no need for conversation, and you may want to share a meal with someone while sitting in comfortable silence.
The breaking of bread can be a fulfilling experience, especially when done among people you love and trust. So the next time you find yourself rushing through a meal in front of your computer, you may want to pause and reconsider. The warm feelings, sense of security, and enjoyment you experience from sharing a meal with others may be the kind of break that you really need.
What do you think?
Breaking Bread Together
As we rush to keep up with the speed of our busy lives, one of the first activities we tend to sacrifice is the sharing of a meal with other people. We may find ourselves eating alone at the kitchen counter or hurriedly drinking a cup of soup while driving in our cars. Yet taking the time to share a meal with family or a close friend not only feeds your body, but also it can nourish your soul. Companionship can fill the heart the way warm stew can satisfy your belly. Eating a meal with others allows you to slow down, while nurturing your relationships.
Breaking bread with others can be treated like a ritual where the gestures of sharing and togetherness are just as important as the food you eat. Planning, preparing, and consuming a meal are all stepping off points toward good conversation, bonding, and learning about someone else. Inviting a new acquaintance to share a meal can be the start of a wonderful friendship. A shared breakfast can be a brainstorming session between coworkers, or it can set the tone for a positive day for family members. Lunch with a friend can be a welcome break from the day's stress, as well as a chance to unwind. Dinner with loved ones can be a chance to talk about the day's events with people who truly care. Sometimes, there may even be no need for conversation, and you may want to share a meal with someone while sitting in comfortable silence.
The breaking of bread can be a fulfilling experience, especially when done among people you love and trust. So the next time you find yourself rushing through a meal in front of your computer, you may want to pause and reconsider. The warm feelings, sense of security, and enjoyment you experience from sharing a meal with others may be the kind of break that you really need.
What do you think?
Corporate Angels
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- by Scott McCormack
Priscilla Blum was taxiing her single-engine plane at the Westchester County, N.Y. airport when she noticed corporate jets taking off and landing nearly empty. An idea came to her. Blum, who had breast cancer years earlier, knew how expensive and grueling transportation was for cancer patients who had to travel for specialized treatment. "I thought, wouldn't it be great if we could fill some of those empty seats?" she recalls.
That was eighteen years ago. Today, Corporate Angel Network transports cancer patients - at no charge - all over the United States. The group has access to some 1500 jets from over 500 companies. If a participating jet's itinerary matches that of the patient, flight arrangements are made.
Casey Chapley was ten months old when she was diagnosed with a rare eye cancer. Her parents, Keith and Belinda, decided to take Casey for experimental non-radiation-based treatments in Philadelphia, 300 miles from their home near Pittsburgh. For their first commercial flight, they had to navigate a packed airport, a noisy coach cabin, then baggage claim - trying conditions with any baby, let alone one battling cancer. They spent $750 on plane tickets. And monthly treatments were required.
They discovered the Corporate Angel Network. Now Casey and her mom and dad sit among Mellon Financial Corp. executives shuttling between offices in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. Says grateful mother Belinda: "We can concentrate more on getting our daughter better, instead of worrying about how we are going to get to the doctor's office and pay for our transportation."
Now 75, Blum still volunteers at Corporate Angel headquarters once a week.
- Scott McCormack
- by Scott McCormack
Priscilla Blum was taxiing her single-engine plane at the Westchester County, N.Y. airport when she noticed corporate jets taking off and landing nearly empty. An idea came to her. Blum, who had breast cancer years earlier, knew how expensive and grueling transportation was for cancer patients who had to travel for specialized treatment. "I thought, wouldn't it be great if we could fill some of those empty seats?" she recalls.
That was eighteen years ago. Today, Corporate Angel Network transports cancer patients - at no charge - all over the United States. The group has access to some 1500 jets from over 500 companies. If a participating jet's itinerary matches that of the patient, flight arrangements are made.
Casey Chapley was ten months old when she was diagnosed with a rare eye cancer. Her parents, Keith and Belinda, decided to take Casey for experimental non-radiation-based treatments in Philadelphia, 300 miles from their home near Pittsburgh. For their first commercial flight, they had to navigate a packed airport, a noisy coach cabin, then baggage claim - trying conditions with any baby, let alone one battling cancer. They spent $750 on plane tickets. And monthly treatments were required.
They discovered the Corporate Angel Network. Now Casey and her mom and dad sit among Mellon Financial Corp. executives shuttling between offices in Pittsburgh and Philadelphia. Says grateful mother Belinda: "We can concentrate more on getting our daughter better, instead of worrying about how we are going to get to the doctor's office and pay for our transportation."
Now 75, Blum still volunteers at Corporate Angel headquarters once a week.
- Scott McCormack
YOU ARE WHAT YOU REPEATEDLY DO
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The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread. Every time you repeat the act you strengthen the strand. You add to it another filament with each repetition, until it becomes a great cable and binds you irrevocably to each thought and act.
First you make your habits and then they make you.
Your thoughts lead you to your purpose. Your purpose always manifests into action. Your actions form your habits. Your habits determine your character, and your character fixes your destiny.
Your habits are either the best of servants or the worst of masters.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread. Every time you repeat the act you strengthen the strand. You add to it another filament with each repetition, until it becomes a great cable and binds you irrevocably to each thought and act.
First you make your habits and then they make you.
Your thoughts lead you to your purpose. Your purpose always manifests into action. Your actions form your habits. Your habits determine your character, and your character fixes your destiny.
Your habits are either the best of servants or the worst of masters.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Letting Your Soul Be Heard
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Being Witnessed
When we allow ourselves to be witnessed by another, we cannot help but be transformed by the experience. Whether we are sharing a personal experience, standing in front of friends to celebrate a special occasion, or expressing our unbridled joy or sorrow in front of a loved one, we are allowing ourselves to be seen and experienced in a very intimate way. Not only are we baring ourselves to someone else, but we are allowing that person to hold a very specific kind of space with us so this powerful act can take place. To be witnessed is to let ourselves be seen as we truly are in that moment.
Our friends and loved ones can easily be witnesses for us, if only we are brave enough to let them. Your next birthday may be the perfect occasion to experience this sacred act: Invite your friends and loved ones to your special day. During the celebration, stand in front of them and thank them for being there for you. Feel their gratitude, attention, warmth, and support, while noticing the sense of safety you feel as they surround you. If you feel inspired, share your innermost thoughts about the day and your life. You may be surprised at the feelings of peace and validation that arise within you, when you feel safe enough to go deep into your soul and share yourself with those you trust.
Anyone who has ever seen love, admiration, acceptance, or appreciation reflected in a friend or loved one's eyes knows how transformative that experience can be. When you bare yourself to another, you are giving them the gift of you and showing them that they also matter. In letting yourself be witnessed, you are letting others into your intimate space, stepping in the sacred container they have created for you, and creating a cauldron of positive affirmation, support, love, and goodwill that will stay with you forever.
What do you think?
Being Witnessed
When we allow ourselves to be witnessed by another, we cannot help but be transformed by the experience. Whether we are sharing a personal experience, standing in front of friends to celebrate a special occasion, or expressing our unbridled joy or sorrow in front of a loved one, we are allowing ourselves to be seen and experienced in a very intimate way. Not only are we baring ourselves to someone else, but we are allowing that person to hold a very specific kind of space with us so this powerful act can take place. To be witnessed is to let ourselves be seen as we truly are in that moment.
Our friends and loved ones can easily be witnesses for us, if only we are brave enough to let them. Your next birthday may be the perfect occasion to experience this sacred act: Invite your friends and loved ones to your special day. During the celebration, stand in front of them and thank them for being there for you. Feel their gratitude, attention, warmth, and support, while noticing the sense of safety you feel as they surround you. If you feel inspired, share your innermost thoughts about the day and your life. You may be surprised at the feelings of peace and validation that arise within you, when you feel safe enough to go deep into your soul and share yourself with those you trust.
Anyone who has ever seen love, admiration, acceptance, or appreciation reflected in a friend or loved one's eyes knows how transformative that experience can be. When you bare yourself to another, you are giving them the gift of you and showing them that they also matter. In letting yourself be witnessed, you are letting others into your intimate space, stepping in the sacred container they have created for you, and creating a cauldron of positive affirmation, support, love, and goodwill that will stay with you forever.
What do you think?
How to Make Yourself Happy
and Remarkably Less Disturbable
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– By Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
The worst thing that could ever happen to us is not very likely to happen. But it could. You could discover that you are dying of AIDS or cancer, or that one of your loved ones is in this condition. Or even that the end of the world is in sight, or that some other “terrible” event is about to occur. How do you deal with this adversity?
Indeed, let’s go with the elegant solution: the probability of you getting a disease is low, but if you do get it, death would still not be awful. Why is it not awful? Because it isn’t 100% bad -- you could always die younger or more painfully. And it isn’t so bad that it absolutely should not ever transpire. No matter how bad it is, it should be that bad -- because that’s the way it is: very bad!
Nothing is awful, even death. To the best of our knowledge, death is exactly the same state as people are in before they are conceived: Zero. No pain, no hassles, no worries: Nothing. Therefore, why upset yourself about it, when you will ultimately face it anyway, and when worrying about it may cause you -- until the age of 95! -- needless pain?
The advantage of your taking the “Suppose-the-worst-thing-does-actually-happen” approach is that it not only tends to end your awfulizing about relatively minor “disasters” but about major ones as well. For if you can see that even the worst possibility, if it does occur, is only highly frustrating and not totally bad, you may thereafter resist making yourself disturbed about practically anything. You can still be concerned but not horrified about exceptionally bad adversities.
If you adopt this solution to feeling frantic, you will also stop exaggerating the probability of “dire” things actually happening and will make yourself more emotionally hardy. You can accept the reality that you have no control over what we call “fate” and over many accidents that may happen. If you frantically think that you have to control all dangerous events, you still cannot do so, and even if you manage to partly control them, you greatly limit your freedom and your life. Thus, if you avoid “dangerous” airplane flights, you may still be killed in a car crash; and you limit how far you can travel. No matter how you restrict yourself, you may fall victim to some germ or other hazard. Tough! But you do not fully control your destiny.
Work to understand that if some of the worst things happen, you don’t have to feel misery and horror. Great trouble and difficulty, yes. Awfulness and terror, no. You can almost always find some degree of real, personal enjoyment. If you strongly BELIEVE that you can! After all, what’s the worst that can happen?
- Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
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– By Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
The worst thing that could ever happen to us is not very likely to happen. But it could. You could discover that you are dying of AIDS or cancer, or that one of your loved ones is in this condition. Or even that the end of the world is in sight, or that some other “terrible” event is about to occur. How do you deal with this adversity?
Indeed, let’s go with the elegant solution: the probability of you getting a disease is low, but if you do get it, death would still not be awful. Why is it not awful? Because it isn’t 100% bad -- you could always die younger or more painfully. And it isn’t so bad that it absolutely should not ever transpire. No matter how bad it is, it should be that bad -- because that’s the way it is: very bad!
Nothing is awful, even death. To the best of our knowledge, death is exactly the same state as people are in before they are conceived: Zero. No pain, no hassles, no worries: Nothing. Therefore, why upset yourself about it, when you will ultimately face it anyway, and when worrying about it may cause you -- until the age of 95! -- needless pain?
The advantage of your taking the “Suppose-the-worst-thing-does-actually-happen” approach is that it not only tends to end your awfulizing about relatively minor “disasters” but about major ones as well. For if you can see that even the worst possibility, if it does occur, is only highly frustrating and not totally bad, you may thereafter resist making yourself disturbed about practically anything. You can still be concerned but not horrified about exceptionally bad adversities.
If you adopt this solution to feeling frantic, you will also stop exaggerating the probability of “dire” things actually happening and will make yourself more emotionally hardy. You can accept the reality that you have no control over what we call “fate” and over many accidents that may happen. If you frantically think that you have to control all dangerous events, you still cannot do so, and even if you manage to partly control them, you greatly limit your freedom and your life. Thus, if you avoid “dangerous” airplane flights, you may still be killed in a car crash; and you limit how far you can travel. No matter how you restrict yourself, you may fall victim to some germ or other hazard. Tough! But you do not fully control your destiny.
Work to understand that if some of the worst things happen, you don’t have to feel misery and horror. Great trouble and difficulty, yes. Awfulness and terror, no. You can almost always find some degree of real, personal enjoyment. If you strongly BELIEVE that you can! After all, what’s the worst that can happen?
- Albert Ellis, Ph.D.
A GOAL IS ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR SUCCESS
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There is no achievement without a goal. In whatever position you find yourself, determine your primary objective first. Until your thoughts are linked to a purpose there can be no accomplishment.
Only you can determine what you want out of life. You decide on your major objectives and goals. A goal gives you a place to start.
If you don't know where you're going, how can you expect to get there? The world always makes room for the person whose words and actions show that they know where they're going.
The first essential ingredient of success is to know what you want.
©2005 by Max Steingart
There is no achievement without a goal. In whatever position you find yourself, determine your primary objective first. Until your thoughts are linked to a purpose there can be no accomplishment.
Only you can determine what you want out of life. You decide on your major objectives and goals. A goal gives you a place to start.
If you don't know where you're going, how can you expect to get there? The world always makes room for the person whose words and actions show that they know where they're going.
The first essential ingredient of success is to know what you want.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Emptiness Becomes Openness
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Sometimes A Loss Can Be A Gain
When we lose anything that we cherish, the sense of emptiness we are left behind with can be overwhelming. A space that was filled, whether in our lives or our hearts, is now a void, and the feelings of pain, loss, and separation can sometimes be difficult to bear. While it is always important to honor what we've lost, sometimes a loss can also represent a chance for a new beginning. When we are ready, the void left by a relationship, a job, or a dream can then be viewed as open space that can be filled with something new: new experiences, new knowledge, new job opportunities, new dreams, new people, and new ways to grow.
There are many ways to weave the threads of loss into a blessing. If you've lost a job or ended a relationship, your first thoughts may revolve around filling the void with a similar job or the same kind of relationship. Try not to rush into anything just to fill up the emptiness. The loss of a job can free you up to explore new opportunities, especially if you've outgrown the old one. Likewise, the loss of a relationship can give you a chance to rediscover your own interests, explore new passions, and meet different people.
If seeking the good in what seems like a bad situation makes you feel uncomfortable, then try to remember that you are not devaluing what you've lost or replacing it cold-heartedly. You are surrendering to the fact that, in life, we sometimes have to let go and allow for what is new to enter into the open spaces created by our losses. In doing so, you are honoring what has left you and welcoming the new into your life with open space, an open mind, and an open heart.
What do you think?
Sometimes A Loss Can Be A Gain
When we lose anything that we cherish, the sense of emptiness we are left behind with can be overwhelming. A space that was filled, whether in our lives or our hearts, is now a void, and the feelings of pain, loss, and separation can sometimes be difficult to bear. While it is always important to honor what we've lost, sometimes a loss can also represent a chance for a new beginning. When we are ready, the void left by a relationship, a job, or a dream can then be viewed as open space that can be filled with something new: new experiences, new knowledge, new job opportunities, new dreams, new people, and new ways to grow.
There are many ways to weave the threads of loss into a blessing. If you've lost a job or ended a relationship, your first thoughts may revolve around filling the void with a similar job or the same kind of relationship. Try not to rush into anything just to fill up the emptiness. The loss of a job can free you up to explore new opportunities, especially if you've outgrown the old one. Likewise, the loss of a relationship can give you a chance to rediscover your own interests, explore new passions, and meet different people.
If seeking the good in what seems like a bad situation makes you feel uncomfortable, then try to remember that you are not devaluing what you've lost or replacing it cold-heartedly. You are surrendering to the fact that, in life, we sometimes have to let go and allow for what is new to enter into the open spaces created by our losses. In doing so, you are honoring what has left you and welcoming the new into your life with open space, an open mind, and an open heart.
What do you think?
How to Make a Strong First Impression
Seven Tips That Really Work
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– By Bill Lampton, Ph.D.
We have all heard this warning: "You nevër get a second chance to make a good first impression." Also, psychologists, writers, and seminar leaders caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they förm an opinion of us.
With this widely acknowledged pressure to "make our case" instantly, hëre are my seven tips for making your first impression strongly positive.
1. The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person--not you--is the center of action and conversation. Illustrate that the spotlight is on you only, and you'll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs, love relationships, networking, and säles. Show that you are other-centered, and first-time acquaintances will be eager to see you again.
Recently I attended a conference. At lunch, my wïfe and I sat with several people we didn't know. While most of our tablemates made good impressions, one man emerged as the person we'd be sure to avoid all weekend. He talked about himself, non-stop. Only rarely did anyone else get a chance to speak. Unfortunately, he probably thought he was captivating us with his life story.
I applaud this definition of a bore: "Somebody who talks about himself so much that you don't get to talk about yourself."
2. Closely related: You'll make a superb initial impression when you demonstrate good listening skills. Give positive verbal cues: "Hmmm...interesting!" "Tell me more, please." "What did you do next?" Just as actors benefit from prompts, your conversational partner will welcome your assistance in keeping the exchange going.
Nonverbally, you show you're a skilled listener by maintaining steady eye contact. Remember how you respond to the social gadabout who appears to be looking over your shoulder for the next person he wants to corner.
3. Use the name of a new acquaintance frequently. "Judy, I like that suggestion." "Your vacation must have been exciting, Fred." You show that you have paid attention from the start, catching the name during the introduction. Equally as important, you'll make conversations more personal by including the listener's name several times.
4. Be careful with humor. Although a quip or two might serve as an icebreaker, stay away from sarcastic remarks that could backfire. Because you don't know a stranger's sensitivities, prolonged joking might establish barriers you can't overcome, either nöw or later.
5. Follow Dr. Wayne Dyer's advice, offered in his wonderful book "Real Magic," by "giving up the need to be right." Confrontations with somebody you've just met will destroy rapport before you even start building it. Wait until you have established credibility before you challenge another's statements.
6. Appearance counts. Several years ago, a professional colleague offered to meet me for lunch. I decided against wearing a suit, opting for a sport coat and tie. When he showed up in shorts and sandals, the message he conveyed was: "Bill, meeting you is a rather ordinary experience, and doesn't call for me to present a business-like appearance." Not surprisingly, that was the last time I met with him.
True, standards for appropriate attire have changed drastically. Maybe the best advice I can share came from a participant in a seminar I conducted. She said, "I don't dress for the job I have nöw, I dress for the job I want to have."
7. As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual's speaking style impacts the first impression, maybe more than we wish. Listeners judge our intelligence, our cultural level, our education, even our leadership ability by the words we select--and by how we say them.
Think of Professor Henry Higgins of "My Fair Lady," who changed a "guttersnipe" into a lady by teaching her to speak skillfully. While none of us occupies the lowly level of Eliza Doolittle, we can keep her example in mind. Rather than mumble, speak so you're easily heard. Enunciate clearly. Alter your pitch, to avoid the dullness of a monotone. Display animation in both voice and facial expression. Gesture naturally, without "canning" your movements.
Keep these seven tips in mind. They will reduce your fear of business and social encounters with unfamiliar faces. More positively, you'll start enjoying poise and success that you thought were beyond your reach.
About the Author:
Bill Lampton, Ph.D., works with organizations that want to experience CPR - Cooperation...Productivity...Renewal of Mission! Find out how Bill's programs on communication can help all aspects of your business - säles, customer service, productivity...the bottom line. For more information call 352-438-0261 or email mailto:info@ExpertSpeaker.com. Visit http://www.ExpertMagazine.com and subscribe FRËE to EXPERT Magazine Online.
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– By Bill Lampton, Ph.D.
We have all heard this warning: "You nevër get a second chance to make a good first impression." Also, psychologists, writers, and seminar leaders caution that we only have from seven to seventeen seconds of interacting with strangers before they förm an opinion of us.
With this widely acknowledged pressure to "make our case" instantly, hëre are my seven tips for making your first impression strongly positive.
1. The greatest way to make a positive first impression is to demonstrate immediately that the other person--not you--is the center of action and conversation. Illustrate that the spotlight is on you only, and you'll miss opportunities for friendships, jobs, love relationships, networking, and säles. Show that you are other-centered, and first-time acquaintances will be eager to see you again.
Recently I attended a conference. At lunch, my wïfe and I sat with several people we didn't know. While most of our tablemates made good impressions, one man emerged as the person we'd be sure to avoid all weekend. He talked about himself, non-stop. Only rarely did anyone else get a chance to speak. Unfortunately, he probably thought he was captivating us with his life story.
I applaud this definition of a bore: "Somebody who talks about himself so much that you don't get to talk about yourself."
2. Closely related: You'll make a superb initial impression when you demonstrate good listening skills. Give positive verbal cues: "Hmmm...interesting!" "Tell me more, please." "What did you do next?" Just as actors benefit from prompts, your conversational partner will welcome your assistance in keeping the exchange going.
Nonverbally, you show you're a skilled listener by maintaining steady eye contact. Remember how you respond to the social gadabout who appears to be looking over your shoulder for the next person he wants to corner.
3. Use the name of a new acquaintance frequently. "Judy, I like that suggestion." "Your vacation must have been exciting, Fred." You show that you have paid attention from the start, catching the name during the introduction. Equally as important, you'll make conversations more personal by including the listener's name several times.
4. Be careful with humor. Although a quip or two might serve as an icebreaker, stay away from sarcastic remarks that could backfire. Because you don't know a stranger's sensitivities, prolonged joking might establish barriers you can't overcome, either nöw or later.
5. Follow Dr. Wayne Dyer's advice, offered in his wonderful book "Real Magic," by "giving up the need to be right." Confrontations with somebody you've just met will destroy rapport before you even start building it. Wait until you have established credibility before you challenge another's statements.
6. Appearance counts. Several years ago, a professional colleague offered to meet me for lunch. I decided against wearing a suit, opting for a sport coat and tie. When he showed up in shorts and sandals, the message he conveyed was: "Bill, meeting you is a rather ordinary experience, and doesn't call for me to present a business-like appearance." Not surprisingly, that was the last time I met with him.
True, standards for appropriate attire have changed drastically. Maybe the best advice I can share came from a participant in a seminar I conducted. She said, "I don't dress for the job I have nöw, I dress for the job I want to have."
7. As a communication specialist, I have to point out that an individual's speaking style impacts the first impression, maybe more than we wish. Listeners judge our intelligence, our cultural level, our education, even our leadership ability by the words we select--and by how we say them.
Think of Professor Henry Higgins of "My Fair Lady," who changed a "guttersnipe" into a lady by teaching her to speak skillfully. While none of us occupies the lowly level of Eliza Doolittle, we can keep her example in mind. Rather than mumble, speak so you're easily heard. Enunciate clearly. Alter your pitch, to avoid the dullness of a monotone. Display animation in both voice and facial expression. Gesture naturally, without "canning" your movements.
Keep these seven tips in mind. They will reduce your fear of business and social encounters with unfamiliar faces. More positively, you'll start enjoying poise and success that you thought were beyond your reach.
About the Author:
Bill Lampton, Ph.D., works with organizations that want to experience CPR - Cooperation...Productivity...Renewal of Mission! Find out how Bill's programs on communication can help all aspects of your business - säles, customer service, productivity...the bottom line. For more information call 352-438-0261 or email mailto:info@ExpertSpeaker.com. Visit http://www.ExpertMagazine.com and subscribe FRËE to EXPERT Magazine Online.
STAY IN THE GAME IF YOU WANT TO WIN
-------------------------------------------------
The more you try, the greater your chance of succeeding. The law of averages is on your side.
Taking a risk is often your first necessary step toward success. If you don't take some risks, you won't get the chance to succeed. While you are trying, you are winning.
Never get discouraged.
Every wrong attempt is another step forward. People that make no mistakes usually don't make anything.
Make up your mind not merely to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand defeats. Your mistakes are stepping stones to success and your installment payments to victory.
You can't be a winner and be afraid to lose.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The more you try, the greater your chance of succeeding. The law of averages is on your side.
Taking a risk is often your first necessary step toward success. If you don't take some risks, you won't get the chance to succeed. While you are trying, you are winning.
Never get discouraged.
Every wrong attempt is another step forward. People that make no mistakes usually don't make anything.
Make up your mind not merely to overcome a thousand obstacles, but to win in spite of a thousand defeats. Your mistakes are stepping stones to success and your installment payments to victory.
You can't be a winner and be afraid to lose.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Avoiding Negative Vibrations
-------------------------------------------------
Taking On The Energy Of Others
There are times when you may find that being around certain individuals or groups of people leaves you with feelings of discomfort. It may be that spending time with a particular friend feels draining or that dealing with a specific coworker exhausts you. Being around toxic or angry people is also draining. And you may even find that being surrounded by a crowd of people lowers your energy levels rather than perks you up. This is not that unusual. Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don't unknowingly take on someone else's energy. While some people know how to instinctively protect themselves from being adversely affected by energy, most of us need to discover and practice the technique that works best.
There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people's energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you. The intent to shield oneself is all you need for this technique to work. You can even create a trigger word to assist you in quickly creating a shield. Say this word each time you create a new shield, until the word and the shield become automatically associated in your mind. If you run into a person whose energy you find draining, you may want to cleanse your own energy field after your encounter. Sage, cold showers, singing, mineral water baths, spending time in nature, and a simple break to recharge are all ways to accomplish this.
While it is important to know how to shield yourself from energy, there are those energies that you may not want to shut out. The energy of laughter from a newborn baby, the feeling of joy radiating from someone in love, and the frequency of calm emanating from an enlightened teacher are just some of the energies coming from others that you may want to have around you.
What do you think?
Taking On The Energy Of Others
There are times when you may find that being around certain individuals or groups of people leaves you with feelings of discomfort. It may be that spending time with a particular friend feels draining or that dealing with a specific coworker exhausts you. Being around toxic or angry people is also draining. And you may even find that being surrounded by a crowd of people lowers your energy levels rather than perks you up. This is not that unusual. Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don't unknowingly take on someone else's energy. While some people know how to instinctively protect themselves from being adversely affected by energy, most of us need to discover and practice the technique that works best.
There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people's energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you. The intent to shield oneself is all you need for this technique to work. You can even create a trigger word to assist you in quickly creating a shield. Say this word each time you create a new shield, until the word and the shield become automatically associated in your mind. If you run into a person whose energy you find draining, you may want to cleanse your own energy field after your encounter. Sage, cold showers, singing, mineral water baths, spending time in nature, and a simple break to recharge are all ways to accomplish this.
While it is important to know how to shield yourself from energy, there are those energies that you may not want to shut out. The energy of laughter from a newborn baby, the feeling of joy radiating from someone in love, and the frequency of calm emanating from an enlightened teacher are just some of the energies coming from others that you may want to have around you.
What do you think?
Getting Along With Critical People
--------------------------------------------------
– By Dr. Todd E. Linaman
We all have to deal with critical people at times. You know the type - the person who can spot a flaw from across the room, gives unsolicïted advice, frequently complains and passes judgment, is negative and seems impossible to please.
We can all be critical. Every day, we literally critique everything that goes on around us consciously and unconsciously. Unfortunately, some people tend to verbalize the thoughts many of us have learned to keep to ourselves. When things don't go our way or we're in a bad mood it is easy to become critical. It's true, miserable people prefer miserable company. Critical people actually feel better around others who share the same negative attitudes. Before we spend time learning how to cope with other people's critical traits let's make sure we have our own well under control.
It can be quite challenging to get along with a critic, especially when we live, work or attend church with them. Hëre are 10 tips to help you get along better with critical people.
1. Understand what motivates people to be critical
Hurting people hurt people. Most critics were criticized themselves as
children and did not develop the sense of security and healthy identity that can come from positive nurturing. They tend to have a low opinion of themselves and consequently feel best (although often frustrated) when attempting to achieve the unrealistic standards they set for themselves and others. Critics are often motivated by the need to feel better about themselves by putting other people down. Understanding their motivation can help us to develop empathy and compassion - two qualities that will help you get along with critical people.
2. Don't throw the baby out with the bäth water
Although critical people often lack diplomacy and tact, they also tend to be able to size up people and situations accurately. You may be tempted to discount what you hear, but listen carefully to what they say because there is often valuable information underneath the sharp edges of the message.
3. Be willing to confront your critic
It is not easy to confront interpersonal problems, but it is typically the best approach. Be willing to tell the critic in your life how you feel about the way they interact with you. This won't guarantëe change, however, by expressing your thoughts and feelings you are in a better position to manage your own emotions and behaviors. Emotional expression will decrease your chances of growing embittered, and consequently, doing or saying something you'll regret.
4. Focus on the truth, not on the criticism
If someone puts you down, fight the temptation to dwell on the criticism. If there is something you can learn from the message, do so, but then move on. Instead of dwelling on the negative, comment focus on the gifts, talents and strengths that you possess.
5. Be careful about what you share with the critical person
It's not always wise to share personal or important information with a critic about yourself or anyone else. Providing such information is asking for trouble because critical people often take things out of context, misinterpret or exaggerate information and place a negative spin on ideas or opinions. Learn how to discern what you should and should not reveal. When in doubt, don't share.
6. Don't join in on criticizing others
It can be easy to fall into the trap of criticizing others when you're around a critical person. Joining in on the criticism only serves to legitimize the behavior in the mind of the critic, and the transition into gossip is close behind. Today the criticism is about someone else - tomorrow it could be directed toward you.
7. Limit the amount of time you spend with critical people
It may be very appropriate to limit the amount of time you spend with a critic. This, of course, can be difficult if they happen to be your spouse, parent or boss. However, it may be in your best interest to let the person know that your level of interaction with them will be based, in part, on their willingness to communicate with you in a constructive and appropriate manner. If the critic is your spouse you may benefit from consulting with a professional marriage counselor.
8. Control your response to critical people
Pay close attention to how you respond to criticism. If you tend to react with anger, hurt or intimidation, you will encourage the critical behavior. Critical people are often motivated to behave the way they do because of the response they trigger in others. When you learn to not overreact, the critic will likely move on to someone who will.
9. Try to understand the needs of the critical person
The emotional "gas tank" of a critical person is often very low. Criticism is sometimes an outward expression of an inward need - usually the need to feel worthwhile and significant. It is surprising how a sincere compliment, congratulations or demonstration of care and concern can improve your relationship. People with full emotional tanks are the least likely to mistreat others.
10. Maintain realistic expectations
Critical people don't change overnight. Even if they are making positive progress, they are likely to revert back to their old ways from time to time, especially under stress. Realistic expectations will help guide your interactions and will likely result in a healthier relationship.
This article was adapted from Dr. Linaman's original article copyrighted by Parent Talk, Inc.
About the Author:
As the President and Founder of Relational Advantage, Inc., Dr. Linaman is committed to developing personal and organizational potential into a higher level of quality performance.
As a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a respected authority in the area of personal and professional development, Dr. Linaman has provided executive coaching, consultation, counseling and training to individuals and organizations throughout the United States.
Dr. Linaman has worked with corporate executives, business owners, attorneys, medical doctors and other professionals in his counseling and coaching practice. He is a national conference and seminar speaker and has authored numerous articles on personal and professional development topics. He has been featured as a relationship expert on national and local radio talk shows and local television news programs, and is co-author of the book “Lessons Learned Looking Back: Strategies for Successful Living” published by Broadman and Holman.
– By Dr. Todd E. Linaman
We all have to deal with critical people at times. You know the type - the person who can spot a flaw from across the room, gives unsolicïted advice, frequently complains and passes judgment, is negative and seems impossible to please.
We can all be critical. Every day, we literally critique everything that goes on around us consciously and unconsciously. Unfortunately, some people tend to verbalize the thoughts many of us have learned to keep to ourselves. When things don't go our way or we're in a bad mood it is easy to become critical. It's true, miserable people prefer miserable company. Critical people actually feel better around others who share the same negative attitudes. Before we spend time learning how to cope with other people's critical traits let's make sure we have our own well under control.
It can be quite challenging to get along with a critic, especially when we live, work or attend church with them. Hëre are 10 tips to help you get along better with critical people.
1. Understand what motivates people to be critical
Hurting people hurt people. Most critics were criticized themselves as
children and did not develop the sense of security and healthy identity that can come from positive nurturing. They tend to have a low opinion of themselves and consequently feel best (although often frustrated) when attempting to achieve the unrealistic standards they set for themselves and others. Critics are often motivated by the need to feel better about themselves by putting other people down. Understanding their motivation can help us to develop empathy and compassion - two qualities that will help you get along with critical people.
2. Don't throw the baby out with the bäth water
Although critical people often lack diplomacy and tact, they also tend to be able to size up people and situations accurately. You may be tempted to discount what you hear, but listen carefully to what they say because there is often valuable information underneath the sharp edges of the message.
3. Be willing to confront your critic
It is not easy to confront interpersonal problems, but it is typically the best approach. Be willing to tell the critic in your life how you feel about the way they interact with you. This won't guarantëe change, however, by expressing your thoughts and feelings you are in a better position to manage your own emotions and behaviors. Emotional expression will decrease your chances of growing embittered, and consequently, doing or saying something you'll regret.
4. Focus on the truth, not on the criticism
If someone puts you down, fight the temptation to dwell on the criticism. If there is something you can learn from the message, do so, but then move on. Instead of dwelling on the negative, comment focus on the gifts, talents and strengths that you possess.
5. Be careful about what you share with the critical person
It's not always wise to share personal or important information with a critic about yourself or anyone else. Providing such information is asking for trouble because critical people often take things out of context, misinterpret or exaggerate information and place a negative spin on ideas or opinions. Learn how to discern what you should and should not reveal. When in doubt, don't share.
6. Don't join in on criticizing others
It can be easy to fall into the trap of criticizing others when you're around a critical person. Joining in on the criticism only serves to legitimize the behavior in the mind of the critic, and the transition into gossip is close behind. Today the criticism is about someone else - tomorrow it could be directed toward you.
7. Limit the amount of time you spend with critical people
It may be very appropriate to limit the amount of time you spend with a critic. This, of course, can be difficult if they happen to be your spouse, parent or boss. However, it may be in your best interest to let the person know that your level of interaction with them will be based, in part, on their willingness to communicate with you in a constructive and appropriate manner. If the critic is your spouse you may benefit from consulting with a professional marriage counselor.
8. Control your response to critical people
Pay close attention to how you respond to criticism. If you tend to react with anger, hurt or intimidation, you will encourage the critical behavior. Critical people are often motivated to behave the way they do because of the response they trigger in others. When you learn to not overreact, the critic will likely move on to someone who will.
9. Try to understand the needs of the critical person
The emotional "gas tank" of a critical person is often very low. Criticism is sometimes an outward expression of an inward need - usually the need to feel worthwhile and significant. It is surprising how a sincere compliment, congratulations or demonstration of care and concern can improve your relationship. People with full emotional tanks are the least likely to mistreat others.
10. Maintain realistic expectations
Critical people don't change overnight. Even if they are making positive progress, they are likely to revert back to their old ways from time to time, especially under stress. Realistic expectations will help guide your interactions and will likely result in a healthier relationship.
This article was adapted from Dr. Linaman's original article copyrighted by Parent Talk, Inc.
About the Author:
As the President and Founder of Relational Advantage, Inc., Dr. Linaman is committed to developing personal and organizational potential into a higher level of quality performance.
As a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist and a respected authority in the area of personal and professional development, Dr. Linaman has provided executive coaching, consultation, counseling and training to individuals and organizations throughout the United States.
Dr. Linaman has worked with corporate executives, business owners, attorneys, medical doctors and other professionals in his counseling and coaching practice. He is a national conference and seminar speaker and has authored numerous articles on personal and professional development topics. He has been featured as a relationship expert on national and local radio talk shows and local television news programs, and is co-author of the book “Lessons Learned Looking Back: Strategies for Successful Living” published by Broadman and Holman.
YOU'RE IN CHARGE OF YOU
--------------------------------------------------
While your character is formed by circumstances, your own desires can do much to shape those circumstances. Thus, you have the power over the formation of your own character. You're the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.
Nature is at work around you. Your character and destiny are her handiwork. She gives you love and hate, jealousy and reverence. You have the power to choose which impulse you will follow.
You can at any time decide to alter the course of your life. No one can ever take that away from you. You're the master of your joys and your sorrows.
The greatest power you possess is the power to choose.
©2005 by Max Steingart
While your character is formed by circumstances, your own desires can do much to shape those circumstances. Thus, you have the power over the formation of your own character. You're the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.
Nature is at work around you. Your character and destiny are her handiwork. She gives you love and hate, jealousy and reverence. You have the power to choose which impulse you will follow.
You can at any time decide to alter the course of your life. No one can ever take that away from you. You're the master of your joys and your sorrows.
The greatest power you possess is the power to choose.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, October 17, 2005
Borrowed Vision
--------------------------------------------------
Somebody Believes In You
There are times in our lives when we may find ourselves facing challenges that can seem overwhelming. The situation or task we are struggling with seems hopeless, and it is easy to stop believing in ourselves, our goals, and our dreams. It is during these moments that it can be reassuring and reaffirming to turn to the people in our lives who do believe in us, especially when we are finding it hard to believe in ourselves. An encouraging word, a reassuring look, or hearing the words "I believe in you" from someone who matters can help us turn our situations around in an instant.
Everybody has someone who believes in them, whether this person is a teacher, parent, friend, loved one, or an employer. Often their belief can wrap us in warmth, bolster us, and offer us a supportive hand to grab onto until we can regain our own support. Having that special person who believes in our abilities and our worth is a wonderful gift. But when we are feeling unworthy, it may be difficult to take in something so precious. We may even feel like we need to do it all on our own and that we shouldn't be asking for help. However, in letting their belief and support impact you, you are acknowledging the part of yourself that knows you are worthy of trust and esteem. By allowing them to believe in you, your own belief in yourself and your abilities will start to emerge again. Borrow their vision, and you can make it your own.
If your special someone is not there to spur you on, you also can lift yourself up with the gift of a positive image. When you feel uncertain, you can create a vision of the future you desire that will serve as a beacon of light. To do so, simply imagine a future that is exactly as you'd like it to be. Imagine in detail how you feel, what you are doing, and how others are responding to you. Make your vision as real as possible, and allow your doubts to recede so you can focus solely on the goal you seek. The more intently you focus on the image of what you want, your belief in yourself will step to the forefront, making it easier for the universe to open up a path and guide you.
What do you think?
Somebody Believes In You
There are times in our lives when we may find ourselves facing challenges that can seem overwhelming. The situation or task we are struggling with seems hopeless, and it is easy to stop believing in ourselves, our goals, and our dreams. It is during these moments that it can be reassuring and reaffirming to turn to the people in our lives who do believe in us, especially when we are finding it hard to believe in ourselves. An encouraging word, a reassuring look, or hearing the words "I believe in you" from someone who matters can help us turn our situations around in an instant.
Everybody has someone who believes in them, whether this person is a teacher, parent, friend, loved one, or an employer. Often their belief can wrap us in warmth, bolster us, and offer us a supportive hand to grab onto until we can regain our own support. Having that special person who believes in our abilities and our worth is a wonderful gift. But when we are feeling unworthy, it may be difficult to take in something so precious. We may even feel like we need to do it all on our own and that we shouldn't be asking for help. However, in letting their belief and support impact you, you are acknowledging the part of yourself that knows you are worthy of trust and esteem. By allowing them to believe in you, your own belief in yourself and your abilities will start to emerge again. Borrow their vision, and you can make it your own.
If your special someone is not there to spur you on, you also can lift yourself up with the gift of a positive image. When you feel uncertain, you can create a vision of the future you desire that will serve as a beacon of light. To do so, simply imagine a future that is exactly as you'd like it to be. Imagine in detail how you feel, what you are doing, and how others are responding to you. Make your vision as real as possible, and allow your doubts to recede so you can focus solely on the goal you seek. The more intently you focus on the image of what you want, your belief in yourself will step to the forefront, making it easier for the universe to open up a path and guide you.
What do you think?
How Do You Use Your Whole Brain?
-----------------------------------------------------------
– By Rich Douglas
Want to increase your creativity by 15%?... Take your shoes off...
Imagine for a moment, top executives with a major fortune 500 company huddled around a board room table brainstorming new ideas for products and services. Nöw picture them with their shoes off and wearing comfortable white tube socks.
You may think I’m pulling your leg but believe me, this really does happen. Studies revealed that people who wore the socks generated 13% more ideas than those who kept their shoes on. If the feet are comfortable, the brain will be comfortable.
Another unorthodox but highly effective method of brainstorming is through the use of lateral thinking. Adidas, for example, uses lateral thinking to generate ideas for new basketball shoes. Generals Mills uses it to create new products as well.
Hëre's an example of how it works. Let’s take a paper clip as an example. Everyone has to come up with as the many ways that it can be used for. What this does is it lets you look at something from a completely different perspective. This is how innovation is born. It's a succession of thoughts and ideas that guide us to the end result.
Interesting facts about the human brain...
- It weighs about 3 pounds.
- It uses 20% of our energy.
- It has a trillion cells.
- Its cells are capable of connecting with a hundred thousand other cells.
- It contains 100 billion neurons.
- There are more possible interconnections between these neurons than there are atoms in the universe.
- All the world’s telephone connections would have to be recreated 1,349 times to equal the total number of possible brain connections.
- It can record a thousand new bits of information every second of our lives.
While these are amazing facts about the brain, they pale in comparison to the most alarming fact:
WE USE LESS THAN 10% OF OUR BRAIN’S CAPACITY! MANY OF US USE JUST 1% OR LESS!
How do you Use Your Whole Brain?
I was at a seminar recently and was intrigued by a brain power game that identifies and categorizes individuals based on selecting cards that best describe their strengths and personality traits. Each card is color coded into 4 quadrants of the brain.
Blue = Investïgator (mathematical, technical, analytical, logical)
Yellow = Creator (creative, conceptual, synthesize, holistic, artistic)
Green = Evaluator (planner, controlled, detail oriented)
Red = Activator (action oriented, talkative, musical, emotional, interpersonal)
The exercise serves several valuable purposes.
- It identifies which areas of the brain your strengths are.
- It lets you see where your deficiencies or weak spots are.
- It identifies where you should seek outside help.
Once your selections define your color quadrant, a colored dot is applied to your name badge. This lets you and everyone know where your strengths are. So, for someone like me who's technically challenged, I would be seeking out those individuals that have a Green dot on their badge for help.
How do you use your whole brain? Find people who are strong in the areas where you display weakness. Enlist their help in those areas. Delegate those tasks and activities that suite their strength.
Your in Success,
Rich Douglas
About the Author:
Rich Douglas is a self improvement newsletter columnist and the creator of an amazing software program that will recondition your mind to positively impact over 31 key areas in your life. His simple-as-pie approach means it works unobtrusively while you're in front of your computer, working, surfing, typing or playing a game.
http://www.easymotivation.com http://www.easymotivation.com/familyeditionfull.html
– By Rich Douglas
Want to increase your creativity by 15%?... Take your shoes off...
Imagine for a moment, top executives with a major fortune 500 company huddled around a board room table brainstorming new ideas for products and services. Nöw picture them with their shoes off and wearing comfortable white tube socks.
You may think I’m pulling your leg but believe me, this really does happen. Studies revealed that people who wore the socks generated 13% more ideas than those who kept their shoes on. If the feet are comfortable, the brain will be comfortable.
Another unorthodox but highly effective method of brainstorming is through the use of lateral thinking. Adidas, for example, uses lateral thinking to generate ideas for new basketball shoes. Generals Mills uses it to create new products as well.
Hëre's an example of how it works. Let’s take a paper clip as an example. Everyone has to come up with as the many ways that it can be used for. What this does is it lets you look at something from a completely different perspective. This is how innovation is born. It's a succession of thoughts and ideas that guide us to the end result.
Interesting facts about the human brain...
- It weighs about 3 pounds.
- It uses 20% of our energy.
- It has a trillion cells.
- Its cells are capable of connecting with a hundred thousand other cells.
- It contains 100 billion neurons.
- There are more possible interconnections between these neurons than there are atoms in the universe.
- All the world’s telephone connections would have to be recreated 1,349 times to equal the total number of possible brain connections.
- It can record a thousand new bits of information every second of our lives.
While these are amazing facts about the brain, they pale in comparison to the most alarming fact:
WE USE LESS THAN 10% OF OUR BRAIN’S CAPACITY! MANY OF US USE JUST 1% OR LESS!
How do you Use Your Whole Brain?
I was at a seminar recently and was intrigued by a brain power game that identifies and categorizes individuals based on selecting cards that best describe their strengths and personality traits. Each card is color coded into 4 quadrants of the brain.
Blue = Investïgator (mathematical, technical, analytical, logical)
Yellow = Creator (creative, conceptual, synthesize, holistic, artistic)
Green = Evaluator (planner, controlled, detail oriented)
Red = Activator (action oriented, talkative, musical, emotional, interpersonal)
The exercise serves several valuable purposes.
- It identifies which areas of the brain your strengths are.
- It lets you see where your deficiencies or weak spots are.
- It identifies where you should seek outside help.
Once your selections define your color quadrant, a colored dot is applied to your name badge. This lets you and everyone know where your strengths are. So, for someone like me who's technically challenged, I would be seeking out those individuals that have a Green dot on their badge for help.
How do you use your whole brain? Find people who are strong in the areas where you display weakness. Enlist their help in those areas. Delegate those tasks and activities that suite their strength.
Your in Success,
Rich Douglas
About the Author:
Rich Douglas is a self improvement newsletter columnist and the creator of an amazing software program that will recondition your mind to positively impact over 31 key areas in your life. His simple-as-pie approach means it works unobtrusively while you're in front of your computer, working, surfing, typing or playing a game.
http://www.easymotivation.com http://www.easymotivation.com/familyeditionfull.html
THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER CHOICE
--------------------------------------------------
You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose.
You alone steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today,
tomorrow or in any distant time to come. You hold the tiller.
You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it.
It's always your next move.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose.
You alone steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today,
tomorrow or in any distant time to come. You hold the tiller.
You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it.
It's always your next move.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, October 14, 2005
Small Wonders
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Little Things That Make You Happy
Life is full of little wonders that can make us happy. The sound of a baby's laughter, a good book, the comforting smell of a favorite old sweatshirt, and the warmth from a cup of hot tea are simple pleasures that can easily put smiles on our faces. These "little things" are easily accessible to us and can be sources for finding happiness. A key to doing so is taking the time to put those rose colored glasses from childhood back on so you can easily find the joy in all the "little things" that life has to offer.
Finding a puppy rummaging through the laundry basket, trying on that perfect shade of lipstick, or discovering the extra change you left in your back pocket can turn into moments of delight. Like kids digging in the sandbox for buried trinkets, we may even begin to experience happiness when we engage in the seemingly mundane. Figuring out a software program can feel like deciphering a treasure map, and that first sip of tea in the morning can taste like a forbidden delicacy. Swaying to music playing on the radio can turn into an interpretive jig, riding a bike can seem like flying to the moon, and getting a phone call from that special someone can feel like winning the lottery. A pickup game of basketball becomes an exciting match among champions, and observing an elderly couple walking hand in hand can turn into a meditation on peace and contentment.
When we begin rediscovering that the little things in life can make us happy, we naturally want to share this joy with others. We may gush over a friend when we run into them unexpectedly, praise a street musician for their talents, or blow bubbles for the neighborhood kids to chase. We may even start to think of the little things we can do to make other people happy, which in turn makes us happy all over again. There is an endless supply of little things and little moments that can make us happy. All we have to do is look for them, and they'll magically start to appear.
What do you think?
Little Things That Make You Happy
Life is full of little wonders that can make us happy. The sound of a baby's laughter, a good book, the comforting smell of a favorite old sweatshirt, and the warmth from a cup of hot tea are simple pleasures that can easily put smiles on our faces. These "little things" are easily accessible to us and can be sources for finding happiness. A key to doing so is taking the time to put those rose colored glasses from childhood back on so you can easily find the joy in all the "little things" that life has to offer.
Finding a puppy rummaging through the laundry basket, trying on that perfect shade of lipstick, or discovering the extra change you left in your back pocket can turn into moments of delight. Like kids digging in the sandbox for buried trinkets, we may even begin to experience happiness when we engage in the seemingly mundane. Figuring out a software program can feel like deciphering a treasure map, and that first sip of tea in the morning can taste like a forbidden delicacy. Swaying to music playing on the radio can turn into an interpretive jig, riding a bike can seem like flying to the moon, and getting a phone call from that special someone can feel like winning the lottery. A pickup game of basketball becomes an exciting match among champions, and observing an elderly couple walking hand in hand can turn into a meditation on peace and contentment.
When we begin rediscovering that the little things in life can make us happy, we naturally want to share this joy with others. We may gush over a friend when we run into them unexpectedly, praise a street musician for their talents, or blow bubbles for the neighborhood kids to chase. We may even start to think of the little things we can do to make other people happy, which in turn makes us happy all over again. There is an endless supply of little things and little moments that can make us happy. All we have to do is look for them, and they'll magically start to appear.
What do you think?
Pink Ribbon
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- Unknown Author
A handsome, middle-aged man walked quietly into the cafe and sat down. Before he ordered, he couldn't help but notice a group of younger men at the table next to him. It was obvious they were making fun of something about him, and it wasn't until he remembered he was wearing a small pink ribbon on the lapel of his suit that he became aware of what the joke was all about.
The man brushed off the reaction as ignorance, but the smirks began to get to him. He looked one of the rude men square in the eye, placed his hand beneath the ribbon and asked, quizzically, "This?".
With that the men all began to laugh out loud. The man he addressed said, as he fought back laughter, "Hey, sorry man, but we were just commenting on how pretty your little ribbon looks against your blue jacket!"
The middle-aged man calmly motioned for the joker to come over to his table, and invited him to sit down. As uncomfortable as he was, the guy obliged, not really sure why. In a soft voice, the middle aged man said,
"I wear this ribbon to bring awareness about breast cancer. I wear it in my mother's honor."
"Oh, sorry dude. She died of breast cancer?" "No, she didn't. She's alive and well. But her breasts nourished me as an infant, and were a soft resting place for my head when I was scared or lonely as a little boy. I'm very grateful for my mother's breasts, and her health."
"Umm", the stranger replied, "yeah".
"And I wear this ribbon to honor my wife", the middle aged man went on.
"And she's okay, too?", the other guy asked.
"Oh, yes. She's fine. Her breasts have been a great source of loving pleasure for both of us, and with them she nurtured and nourished our beautiful daughter 23 years ago. I am grateful for my wife's breasts, and for her health."
"Uh huh. And I guess you wear it to honor your daughter, also?"
"No. It's too late to honor my daughter by wearing it now. My daughter died of breast cancer one month ago. She thought she was too young to have breast cancer, so when she accidentally noticed a small lump, she ignored it. She thought that since it wasn't painful, it must be nothing to worry about."
Shaken and ashamed, the now sober stranger said, "Oh, man, I'm so sorry mister".
"So, in my daughter's memory, too, I proudly wear this little ribbon, which allows me the opportunity to enlighten others. Now, go home and talk to your wife and your daughters, your mother and your friends. And here . . ." The middle aged man reached in his pocket and handed the other man a little pink ribbon.
The guy looked at it, slowly raised his head and asked, "Can ya help me put it on?"
Some will wonder why we are promoting Breast awareness and doctors. We do this for many different forms of cancer and other illness. My son at age 17 had testicular cancer, and lost one testicle, and can not have children, but the good news is between Chemo and prayer he is now 22 and very healthy. I believe God gave us doctors and medicine for two reasons, one to boost our faith. And the other for those whose faith is not yet mature and can only depend on medicine. So we will keep on promoting anything that will help those who visit as long as it does not go against God.
Note: This story has appeared in various places without an attributed author. We believe its message is important so we are publishing it. If you know the author please let us know.
- Unknown Author
A handsome, middle-aged man walked quietly into the cafe and sat down. Before he ordered, he couldn't help but notice a group of younger men at the table next to him. It was obvious they were making fun of something about him, and it wasn't until he remembered he was wearing a small pink ribbon on the lapel of his suit that he became aware of what the joke was all about.
The man brushed off the reaction as ignorance, but the smirks began to get to him. He looked one of the rude men square in the eye, placed his hand beneath the ribbon and asked, quizzically, "This?".
With that the men all began to laugh out loud. The man he addressed said, as he fought back laughter, "Hey, sorry man, but we were just commenting on how pretty your little ribbon looks against your blue jacket!"
The middle-aged man calmly motioned for the joker to come over to his table, and invited him to sit down. As uncomfortable as he was, the guy obliged, not really sure why. In a soft voice, the middle aged man said,
"I wear this ribbon to bring awareness about breast cancer. I wear it in my mother's honor."
"Oh, sorry dude. She died of breast cancer?" "No, she didn't. She's alive and well. But her breasts nourished me as an infant, and were a soft resting place for my head when I was scared or lonely as a little boy. I'm very grateful for my mother's breasts, and her health."
"Umm", the stranger replied, "yeah".
"And I wear this ribbon to honor my wife", the middle aged man went on.
"And she's okay, too?", the other guy asked.
"Oh, yes. She's fine. Her breasts have been a great source of loving pleasure for both of us, and with them she nurtured and nourished our beautiful daughter 23 years ago. I am grateful for my wife's breasts, and for her health."
"Uh huh. And I guess you wear it to honor your daughter, also?"
"No. It's too late to honor my daughter by wearing it now. My daughter died of breast cancer one month ago. She thought she was too young to have breast cancer, so when she accidentally noticed a small lump, she ignored it. She thought that since it wasn't painful, it must be nothing to worry about."
Shaken and ashamed, the now sober stranger said, "Oh, man, I'm so sorry mister".
"So, in my daughter's memory, too, I proudly wear this little ribbon, which allows me the opportunity to enlighten others. Now, go home and talk to your wife and your daughters, your mother and your friends. And here . . ." The middle aged man reached in his pocket and handed the other man a little pink ribbon.
The guy looked at it, slowly raised his head and asked, "Can ya help me put it on?"
Some will wonder why we are promoting Breast awareness and doctors. We do this for many different forms of cancer and other illness. My son at age 17 had testicular cancer, and lost one testicle, and can not have children, but the good news is between Chemo and prayer he is now 22 and very healthy. I believe God gave us doctors and medicine for two reasons, one to boost our faith. And the other for those whose faith is not yet mature and can only depend on medicine. So we will keep on promoting anything that will help those who visit as long as it does not go against God.
Note: This story has appeared in various places without an attributed author. We believe its message is important so we are publishing it. If you know the author please let us know.
THERE IS NO SUCCESS WITHOUT HARDSHIP
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The world is so constructed that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you must also endure its pains. Like it or not, you cannot have one without the other.
Success is not measured by what you accomplish. It's measured by the opposition you encounter, and the courage with which you maintain your struggle against the odds.
You'll find all things are difficult before they are easy. The greater your obstacles, the more glory in overcoming them. So, make up your mind before you start
that sacrifice is part of the package.
No pain, no gain;
No thorns, no throne;
No cross, no crown.
You've got to go through the negative before you get to the positive.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The world is so constructed that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you must also endure its pains. Like it or not, you cannot have one without the other.
Success is not measured by what you accomplish. It's measured by the opposition you encounter, and the courage with which you maintain your struggle against the odds.
You'll find all things are difficult before they are easy. The greater your obstacles, the more glory in overcoming them. So, make up your mind before you start
that sacrifice is part of the package.
No pain, no gain;
No thorns, no throne;
No cross, no crown.
You've got to go through the negative before you get to the positive.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Unhindered Movement
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Getting Out Of Your Own Way
When you find yourself facing obstacles that appear to be blocking you from your goals, it is important to try not to get discouraged. It can be easy to feel "stuck" or that "life" is creating circumstances preventing you from getting what you want. And while it is easy to look at everyone and everything outside of ourselves for the problem, perhaps even wanting to "get rid" of the person, object, or circumstance we may feel is blocking us, sometimes the best course of action to take may be to look inside ourselves first.
It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results.
If you believe that you've been standing in your own way, you may want to take a piece of paper and record how you've done so. Write down the choices you've made that have hindered your efforts and the fears which may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle and compassionate during this process. Try not to blame yourself for getting in your own way. Remember the choices we make always are there to serve us, until it is time to let them go. When you are finished, throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you've created to block yourself. You can then let yourself start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously creating obstacles. Besides, now that you've decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can now do so.
What do you think?
Getting Out Of Your Own Way
When you find yourself facing obstacles that appear to be blocking you from your goals, it is important to try not to get discouraged. It can be easy to feel "stuck" or that "life" is creating circumstances preventing you from getting what you want. And while it is easy to look at everyone and everything outside of ourselves for the problem, perhaps even wanting to "get rid" of the person, object, or circumstance we may feel is blocking us, sometimes the best course of action to take may be to look inside ourselves first.
It is amazing how often we can get in our own way without even being aware that we are doing so. Even though we truly want to succeed, there are many reasons why we may sometimes block our own efforts. It may be that we are afraid to succeed, so we subconsciously create circumstances to keep ourselves stuck. Or it may even be that we are afraid that we will succeed, so we block ourselves by making the achievement of our goals more difficult than they really are. We may even approach our goals in a way that keeps creating the same unsuccessful results.
If you believe that you've been standing in your own way, you may want to take a piece of paper and record how you've done so. Write down the choices you've made that have hindered your efforts and the fears which may have prompted you to make these decisions. Take note of any thoughts and feelings that arise. It is important to be gentle and compassionate during this process. Try not to blame yourself for getting in your own way. Remember the choices we make always are there to serve us, until it is time to let them go. When you are finished, throw the paper away while setting an intention that you are getting rid of any obstacles you've created to block yourself. You can then let yourself start again with a clean slate. Doubts and fears are going to be natural, but with this new awareness, you should be able to prevent yourself from subconsciously creating obstacles. Besides, now that you've decided to get out of your own way, the part of you that has always wanted to succeed can now do so.
What do you think?
A Tragedy or Blessing?
---------------------------------------------------
- By Author Unknown
Years ago in Scotland, the Clark family had a dream. Clark and his wife worked and saved, making plans for their nine children and themselves to travel to the United States. It had taken years, but they had finally saved enough money and had gotten
passports and reservations for the whole family on a new liner to the United States.
The entire family was filled with anticipation and excitement about their new life. However, seven days before their departure, the youngest son was bitten by a dog. The doctor sewed up the boy but hung a yellow sheet on the Clarks' front door. Because of the possibility of rabies, they were being quarantined for fourteen days.
The family's dreams were dashed. They would not be able to make the trip to America as they had planned. The father, filled with disappointment and anger, stomped to the dock to watch the ship leave - without the Clark family. The father shed tears of
disappointment and cursed both his son and God for their misfortune.
Five days later, the tragic news spread throughout Scotland - the mighty Tittanic had sunk. The unsinkable ship had sunk, taking hundreds of lives with it. The Clark family was to have been on that ship, but because the son had been bitten by a
dog, they were left behind in Scotland. When Mr. Clark heard the news, he hugged his son and thanked him for saving the family. He thanked God for saving their lives and turning what he had felt was a tragedy into a blessing.
Although we may not always understand, all things happen for a reason.
- Author Unknown
- By Author Unknown
Years ago in Scotland, the Clark family had a dream. Clark and his wife worked and saved, making plans for their nine children and themselves to travel to the United States. It had taken years, but they had finally saved enough money and had gotten
passports and reservations for the whole family on a new liner to the United States.
The entire family was filled with anticipation and excitement about their new life. However, seven days before their departure, the youngest son was bitten by a dog. The doctor sewed up the boy but hung a yellow sheet on the Clarks' front door. Because of the possibility of rabies, they were being quarantined for fourteen days.
The family's dreams were dashed. They would not be able to make the trip to America as they had planned. The father, filled with disappointment and anger, stomped to the dock to watch the ship leave - without the Clark family. The father shed tears of
disappointment and cursed both his son and God for their misfortune.
Five days later, the tragic news spread throughout Scotland - the mighty Tittanic had sunk. The unsinkable ship had sunk, taking hundreds of lives with it. The Clark family was to have been on that ship, but because the son had been bitten by a
dog, they were left behind in Scotland. When Mr. Clark heard the news, he hugged his son and thanked him for saving the family. He thanked God for saving their lives and turning what he had felt was a tragedy into a blessing.
Although we may not always understand, all things happen for a reason.
- Author Unknown
Get In Balance
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- By Bruno Gideon
Your life can only be in balance when giving and receiving are in balance. Every interpersonal relationship is built on this fact of life. He who always gives acts against this principle just as much as he who only takes. This basic truth is valid without exception everywhere where people deal with people.
Think once, before you give, twice before you take
and a thousand times before you ask for something.
– Marie of Ebner-Eschenbach
The heart and hand of those who always mete out
become callous from always meting out.
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Do you feel isolated – cut off from others? Practice giving to those around you, whether family, friends, or strangers, and you will begin to feel connected to your community. Or do you feel cut off from yourself, because you’re always giving to others? Start accepting it when others give to you. A relationship can only achieve a higher quality when there is a healthy balance between giving and taking.
Is today the day when you should make that phone call? Send a birthday card? Make someone feel good?
- Bruno Gideon
- By Bruno Gideon
Your life can only be in balance when giving and receiving are in balance. Every interpersonal relationship is built on this fact of life. He who always gives acts against this principle just as much as he who only takes. This basic truth is valid without exception everywhere where people deal with people.
Think once, before you give, twice before you take
and a thousand times before you ask for something.
– Marie of Ebner-Eschenbach
The heart and hand of those who always mete out
become callous from always meting out.
– Friedrich Nietzsche
Do you feel isolated – cut off from others? Practice giving to those around you, whether family, friends, or strangers, and you will begin to feel connected to your community. Or do you feel cut off from yourself, because you’re always giving to others? Start accepting it when others give to you. A relationship can only achieve a higher quality when there is a healthy balance between giving and taking.
Is today the day when you should make that phone call? Send a birthday card? Make someone feel good?
- Bruno Gideon
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Burnt Offerings
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Incense
It could not have been long after humanity learned to have power over fire that they discovered that simple fragrant wood, resin, herbs, or roots can do more than produce pleasing aromas. The first forms of incense were simply fragrant plants tossed into fire, and it was only later that pastes, oils, powders, joss sticks, and cones were created. Incense has soothed, excited, aroused, and centered us for thousands of years. The people of Mesopotamia, Egypt, India, Greece, and Rome all consumed great quantities of incense, using it for rituals in their temples and homes. Even today, incense is used for a number of spiritual and practical reasons.
Fragrances can affect us in many ways, and each aromatic has its own unique qualities. Lavender holds the power to quiet the soul, while sandalwood can ease feelings of anxiety. Patchouli is helpful for grounding and centering yourself. A single stick of incense can convey up to a symphony of fragrances. When burned prior to or during meditation, the fragrant smoke can direct the course of your thoughts and influence the rhythms of your body. The time it takes to burn the entire stick of incense can even act as a natural timer. You can also offer burning incense as a gift to the divine while performing a ritual.
There are no right reasons or wrong ways for you to use incense. In the Chinese tradition, burning three upright sticks of incense can give you insight into what the future holds. Enjoying a cone of smoking incense also can simply add sweet fragrance to a room. And should you choose to light a cone of lavender incense after a long day of work, you may find yourself effortlessly relaxing into the quiet arms of the night.
What do you think?
Incense
It could not have been long after humanity learned to have power over fire that they discovered that simple fragrant wood, resin, herbs, or roots can do more than produce pleasing aromas. The first forms of incense were simply fragrant plants tossed into fire, and it was only later that pastes, oils, powders, joss sticks, and cones were created. Incense has soothed, excited, aroused, and centered us for thousands of years. The people of Mesopotamia, Egypt, India, Greece, and Rome all consumed great quantities of incense, using it for rituals in their temples and homes. Even today, incense is used for a number of spiritual and practical reasons.
Fragrances can affect us in many ways, and each aromatic has its own unique qualities. Lavender holds the power to quiet the soul, while sandalwood can ease feelings of anxiety. Patchouli is helpful for grounding and centering yourself. A single stick of incense can convey up to a symphony of fragrances. When burned prior to or during meditation, the fragrant smoke can direct the course of your thoughts and influence the rhythms of your body. The time it takes to burn the entire stick of incense can even act as a natural timer. You can also offer burning incense as a gift to the divine while performing a ritual.
There are no right reasons or wrong ways for you to use incense. In the Chinese tradition, burning three upright sticks of incense can give you insight into what the future holds. Enjoying a cone of smoking incense also can simply add sweet fragrance to a room. And should you choose to light a cone of lavender incense after a long day of work, you may find yourself effortlessly relaxing into the quiet arms of the night.
What do you think?
To Do Or Not To Do
----------------------------------------------------
– By Scott Friedman
That is the question...whether 'tis nobler to spend eighteen hours a day trying frantically to wipe out your "to do" list, or to throw in the towel and admit that not even an army of ants could get it all done. You're zipping along in the fast lane of life. You've got e-mail, voice mail, a pager, a cell phöne, and a laptop computer -- all supposedly designed to bring you convenience and flexibility.
Along with all that convenience are 53 unanswered e-mails, a pile of voice mails delivered at midnight, and a page sounding in the middle of your child's soccer game.
What's worse is that we have come to accept this high-speed rat race as the norm.
Humor me and answer these questïons:
Do you have things on your "to do" list from last week, last month, last year?
Do you go into withdrawal if you forget your cell phöne?
Do you routinely wörk at höme in the evenings or on weekends?
Have you considered having your pager implanted on your arm?
Do you fantasize about putting this message on your voice mail:
"Hi, this is Bob in Accounting. I can't take your call right nöw because I'm busy having a nervous breakdown. I'm sure that the reason you called is very important. I hope to call you back sometime this decade if I don't die of exhaustion. Have a terrific day. Beeeeeeeeep."
It's no surprise if you answered yes to any of those questïons. An article in Fast Company magazine entitled, "Don't Manage Time, Manage Yourself" by David Beardsley states that the average businessperson has a chronic backlog of 200 to 300 hours of uncompleted work! That's a month or more! It's impossible to catch up -- that's the bad news. People everywhere are routinely a month behind.
That brings us to the $63,000 question. If we can't get it all done, how do we actually live with the pressure of always being behind? The answer just may lie in the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching. This ancient Chinese book reminds us to seek simplicity, to let go. The Tao states, "In letting go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go." The good news is that when you surrender to the reality that you can't do it all, your stress level goes way down and your quality of life goes way up.
Am I saying just forget about your responsibilities and walk away? No, ignoring things won't make them go away. I'm saying take some time and look at yourself and your life and figure out what you need to let go of to feel good. Maybe you need to let go of the belief that in order to go home from work you must have your work finished, or have a very good handle on it. Perhaps you need to let go of the idea that you have to be in total control all the time. With change being flung at us constantly, we have a tendency to hold on tighter because of our fears. Yet, if we could only let go and live with uncertainty, we'd actually be a lot happier.
It's tough letting go because we feel out of our comfort zones and even incompetent at times. I know I get nervous when I feel like I'm in completely new territory and nothing seems familiar. I had a Macintosh computer ever since I can remember. Many of my friends and colleagues switched to an IBM platform because the Mac was no longer meeting their needs. I shared some of the same frustrations, yet I didn't want to switch. I had nevër even turned on a PC before.
Finally, my frustration got so high that I made the switch. At first, the learning curve was painful, but nöw I look back and I can't believe I waited so long.
Don't we frequently say that after we've made a major switch in our lives? Once we released the fear and took the plunge -- whatever it was -- we often say, "I wish I had done it sooner." The other great bonus in letting go of fear and making a change is the learning that comes from it. It's revitalizing. It's energizing.
Staying energized is tough if you feel like you are always behind. Living faster and harder does not improve quality of life; living with more focus does. You can't be focused and energetic if you are running nonstop, trying to do everything. Instead of adding every event, project, goal and opportunïty to your list that comes your way, you must become discriminating. You need to become a connoisseur of possible "to do's." Reframe the way you think about your "to do" list. Instead of viewing your list as an endless list of obligations, it should be a reflection of your passions and priorities. It should be an honor to get on your list.
The key to creating a Grade A list is to really take some time to affirm your priorities. To be effective, this requires honest soul searching about some difficult choices. A fast track at the office, involved parenting, a serious hobby, volunteering, and season tickets to 81 home baseball games is probably too much to juggle. You can't avoid making these choices. You have to set your priorities.
Once you have decided what's important, your world gets a whole lot clearer. When you ask yourself, "Is chairing this committee in alignment with my priorities?" you'll know whether to accept or not.
You will be able to let go of other potential distractions and unwanted commitments. Jeffrey Miller, President and CEO of Documentum, said it well when he stated, "There is always too much work to do and not enough time to do it. In order to prevent insanity, frustration and burn out, we need to develop our own pace and then develop laser-like focus on yourpriorities."
Day in and day out it's still tough to keep track of priorities. I have found something that really helps keep my priorities in focus. Every night, the last thing I do before I end my workday is to make a realistic list for the following day. Don't make your list too long to achieve. Stick to four to six items. Through trial and errör, I have discovered that it's best to allow for the unexpected. I leave open some unscheduled time to build in for distractions that invariably crop up. The other element I include is time for important long-term projects. I spend a set
amount of time working on one component of a big project. This is true whether it's a work-related project or a personal goal.
The other tools I regularly use are three questïons I repeat like a mantra. They are:
What's important? This reminds me what my priorities are because sometimes it's hard to decline appealing invitations that are not reflective of my priorities.
What's important nöw? What has to be done nöw, today, and this week? This keeps me from getting distracted and focusing on good things at the wrong time.
What's important, not? I phrase this one with the "not" at the end because so often we think something is important and then belatedly realize it's not.
Once you determine what's important and establish your priorities, it becomes much easier to eliminate the clutter that can cloud your vision.
Once we let go of what isn't important and what we can't control, we can enjoy the wild ride. Maybe you can even let go and ride "no-handed!"
Copyright© 2002, Scott Friedman. All right reserved. For information contact Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com.
About the Author:
Scott Friedman is a nationally recognized professional speaker speaking over 100 times each year to companies, associations, and youth. His book "Using Humor for a Change" is chock-full of great ideas to lighten-up the workload. His improvisational comedy training, quick wit, and thought-provoking material make Scott a master at holding the attention of his audience. Scott customizes all programs to meet the specific needs of each group. He is perfect for kick-offs, closings, lunches and midnight snacks. For information about scheduling Scott for your next event, contact the Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com
– By Scott Friedman
That is the question...whether 'tis nobler to spend eighteen hours a day trying frantically to wipe out your "to do" list, or to throw in the towel and admit that not even an army of ants could get it all done. You're zipping along in the fast lane of life. You've got e-mail, voice mail, a pager, a cell phöne, and a laptop computer -- all supposedly designed to bring you convenience and flexibility.
Along with all that convenience are 53 unanswered e-mails, a pile of voice mails delivered at midnight, and a page sounding in the middle of your child's soccer game.
What's worse is that we have come to accept this high-speed rat race as the norm.
Humor me and answer these questïons:
Do you have things on your "to do" list from last week, last month, last year?
Do you go into withdrawal if you forget your cell phöne?
Do you routinely wörk at höme in the evenings or on weekends?
Have you considered having your pager implanted on your arm?
Do you fantasize about putting this message on your voice mail:
"Hi, this is Bob in Accounting. I can't take your call right nöw because I'm busy having a nervous breakdown. I'm sure that the reason you called is very important. I hope to call you back sometime this decade if I don't die of exhaustion. Have a terrific day. Beeeeeeeeep."
It's no surprise if you answered yes to any of those questïons. An article in Fast Company magazine entitled, "Don't Manage Time, Manage Yourself" by David Beardsley states that the average businessperson has a chronic backlog of 200 to 300 hours of uncompleted work! That's a month or more! It's impossible to catch up -- that's the bad news. People everywhere are routinely a month behind.
That brings us to the $63,000 question. If we can't get it all done, how do we actually live with the pressure of always being behind? The answer just may lie in the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching. This ancient Chinese book reminds us to seek simplicity, to let go. The Tao states, "In letting go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go." The good news is that when you surrender to the reality that you can't do it all, your stress level goes way down and your quality of life goes way up.
Am I saying just forget about your responsibilities and walk away? No, ignoring things won't make them go away. I'm saying take some time and look at yourself and your life and figure out what you need to let go of to feel good. Maybe you need to let go of the belief that in order to go home from work you must have your work finished, or have a very good handle on it. Perhaps you need to let go of the idea that you have to be in total control all the time. With change being flung at us constantly, we have a tendency to hold on tighter because of our fears. Yet, if we could only let go and live with uncertainty, we'd actually be a lot happier.
It's tough letting go because we feel out of our comfort zones and even incompetent at times. I know I get nervous when I feel like I'm in completely new territory and nothing seems familiar. I had a Macintosh computer ever since I can remember. Many of my friends and colleagues switched to an IBM platform because the Mac was no longer meeting their needs. I shared some of the same frustrations, yet I didn't want to switch. I had nevër even turned on a PC before.
Finally, my frustration got so high that I made the switch. At first, the learning curve was painful, but nöw I look back and I can't believe I waited so long.
Don't we frequently say that after we've made a major switch in our lives? Once we released the fear and took the plunge -- whatever it was -- we often say, "I wish I had done it sooner." The other great bonus in letting go of fear and making a change is the learning that comes from it. It's revitalizing. It's energizing.
Staying energized is tough if you feel like you are always behind. Living faster and harder does not improve quality of life; living with more focus does. You can't be focused and energetic if you are running nonstop, trying to do everything. Instead of adding every event, project, goal and opportunïty to your list that comes your way, you must become discriminating. You need to become a connoisseur of possible "to do's." Reframe the way you think about your "to do" list. Instead of viewing your list as an endless list of obligations, it should be a reflection of your passions and priorities. It should be an honor to get on your list.
The key to creating a Grade A list is to really take some time to affirm your priorities. To be effective, this requires honest soul searching about some difficult choices. A fast track at the office, involved parenting, a serious hobby, volunteering, and season tickets to 81 home baseball games is probably too much to juggle. You can't avoid making these choices. You have to set your priorities.
Once you have decided what's important, your world gets a whole lot clearer. When you ask yourself, "Is chairing this committee in alignment with my priorities?" you'll know whether to accept or not.
You will be able to let go of other potential distractions and unwanted commitments. Jeffrey Miller, President and CEO of Documentum, said it well when he stated, "There is always too much work to do and not enough time to do it. In order to prevent insanity, frustration and burn out, we need to develop our own pace and then develop laser-like focus on yourpriorities."
Day in and day out it's still tough to keep track of priorities. I have found something that really helps keep my priorities in focus. Every night, the last thing I do before I end my workday is to make a realistic list for the following day. Don't make your list too long to achieve. Stick to four to six items. Through trial and errör, I have discovered that it's best to allow for the unexpected. I leave open some unscheduled time to build in for distractions that invariably crop up. The other element I include is time for important long-term projects. I spend a set
amount of time working on one component of a big project. This is true whether it's a work-related project or a personal goal.
The other tools I regularly use are three questïons I repeat like a mantra. They are:
What's important? This reminds me what my priorities are because sometimes it's hard to decline appealing invitations that are not reflective of my priorities.
What's important nöw? What has to be done nöw, today, and this week? This keeps me from getting distracted and focusing on good things at the wrong time.
What's important, not? I phrase this one with the "not" at the end because so often we think something is important and then belatedly realize it's not.
Once you determine what's important and establish your priorities, it becomes much easier to eliminate the clutter that can cloud your vision.
Once we let go of what isn't important and what we can't control, we can enjoy the wild ride. Maybe you can even let go and ride "no-handed!"
Copyright© 2002, Scott Friedman. All right reserved. For information contact Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com.
About the Author:
Scott Friedman is a nationally recognized professional speaker speaking over 100 times each year to companies, associations, and youth. His book "Using Humor for a Change" is chock-full of great ideas to lighten-up the workload. His improvisational comedy training, quick wit, and thought-provoking material make Scott a master at holding the attention of his audience. Scott customizes all programs to meet the specific needs of each group. He is perfect for kick-offs, closings, lunches and midnight snacks. For information about scheduling Scott for your next event, contact the Frog Pond at 800.704.FROG(3764) or email susie@frogpond.com
DESIRE IS THE FIRE OF LIFE
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If you want something badly enough, you're sure to get it. If you're willing to pay the price any of your circumstances will change.
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain or other circumstances can be there. But, if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it done.
Reality forms around your commitment to succeed. Your desires will in time externalize themselves into concrete fact.
You only have to love a thing greatly to get it. The key to your success is desire.
©2005 by Max Steingart
If you want something badly enough, you're sure to get it. If you're willing to pay the price any of your circumstances will change.
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain or other circumstances can be there. But, if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it done.
Reality forms around your commitment to succeed. Your desires will in time externalize themselves into concrete fact.
You only have to love a thing greatly to get it. The key to your success is desire.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Accepting Loss
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The Cycle Of Grief
When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with. This sense of grief can also come up when we are separated from anyone or anything we have welcomed into our lives. And while it may feel like we are caught up in a never-ending spiral of sadness and emptiness, it is important to remember that the grief we are feeling is not a permanent state of being. Rather, grief is part of the process of letting go that in many ways can be a gift, allowing us to go deeper within ourselves to rediscover the light amidst the seeming darkness.
The emotions that accompany any kind of loss can be intense and varied. A sense of shock or denial is often the first reaction, to be replaced by anger. Sometimes this anger can be directed at your loved one for "abandoning" you; at other times you may feel outrage toward the universe for what you are enduring. And while there are stages of grief that people go through - moving from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance - the cycles of grief often move in spirals, sometimes circling forward and then back again. You may even experience moments of strength, faith, and laughter in between. While these emotions seem to come and go sporadically, it is important to feel them, accept them, and allow them to flow. With time, patience, and compassion, you will eventually find your center again.
As we move through our grief, we may find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything, once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of the spiraling cycles of grief, and that in letting yourself feel restored again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the dance of life.
What do you think?
The Cycle Of Grief
When we experience any kind of devastating loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one, a dream, or a relationship, feelings may arise within us that are overwhelming or difficult to cope with. This sense of grief can also come up when we are separated from anyone or anything we have welcomed into our lives. And while it may feel like we are caught up in a never-ending spiral of sadness and emptiness, it is important to remember that the grief we are feeling is not a permanent state of being. Rather, grief is part of the process of letting go that in many ways can be a gift, allowing us to go deeper within ourselves to rediscover the light amidst the seeming darkness.
The emotions that accompany any kind of loss can be intense and varied. A sense of shock or denial is often the first reaction, to be replaced by anger. Sometimes this anger can be directed at your loved one for "abandoning" you; at other times you may feel outrage toward the universe for what you are enduring. And while there are stages of grief that people go through - moving from denial to anger to bargaining to depression to acceptance - the cycles of grief often move in spirals, sometimes circling forward and then back again. You may even experience moments of strength, faith, and laughter in between. While these emotions seem to come and go sporadically, it is important to feel them, accept them, and allow them to flow. With time, patience, and compassion, you will eventually find your center again.
As we move through our grief, we may find ourselves reluctant to release our pain, fearing we are letting go of who or what we have lost. We may even regard our movement toward healing as an act of disloyalty or giving up. Know that while the hurt may fade, the essence of what you had and who you loved will have already transformed you and forever stay with you. If anything, once you are ready for the pain of your loss to subside, their memories can then live more fully within you. Remember, that healing is a part of the spiraling cycles of grief, and that in letting yourself feel restored again, you are surrendering to a natural movement that is part of the dance of life.
What do you think?
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