Monday, February 28, 2005

Conscious Cooking

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Preparing Food With Intention

We are what we eat, but more importantly, we affect what we eat from the cutting board to the pot to the table. The health-imparting properties of food (also known as the life force) are subtly changed by the way in which we prepare it and the spiritual qualities we project into it. Thoughts and emotions, both positive and negative, are absorbed by food as it is prepared. Think of the powerful healing properties of the food you've cooked for a sick relative or friend. Chicken soup is simply soup until it is prepared with the intent to heal. As we cook, our intentions be they loving, sad, destructive, creative, or joyful are imparted into our food. And food prepared with positive intent provides nourishment not only for the body, but also for the soul.

Before you can begin cooking consciously or with intent, it is necessary to remove sources of unpleasantness or distraction. Transform your kitchen into a comfortable, relaxing, and nurturing space. Concentrate on positive thoughts each time you enter the kitchen because negativity can affect the taste and nutritional value of the meals you prepare. It may be helpful to think of food preparation as a type of meditation, wherein your thoughts are free of the "buzz" of the world, and are centered and focused on the task at hand: cutting vegetables, measuring liquids, blending spices, and adding herbs. Devote the same amount of time and energy to simple tasks as you would to the preparation of a complex recipe, as this honors the processes involved in cooking. As you work, concentrate on nourishment and feelings of love. If you like, you may want to speak, chant, or sing a blessing over the ingredients before they are prepared to impart your positive intent. Finally, be present in the cooking process from beginning to end by paying attention to the beauty of your ingredients and the magical way they blend to become something new.

A Zen saying instructs cooks to "see the pot as your own head and see the water as your life's blood." Consciously and lovingly cleansing, chopping, stirring, and peeling ingredients brings us closer to our food and, in consequence, closer to those to whom we serve it. During preparation, as your soul exists in the moment to give nourishment, your meals will be a source of intense life force energy and joy to yourself and others.

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This week's eMeditation

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- by Vic Johnson

“Resolution is the directing and impelling force in individual progress. Without it no substantial work can be accomplished.” – Above Life's Turmoil

The esteemed philosopher Goethe wrote, "Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness." There are so many opportunities that could make our lives better if we’d only make the decision (resolution) to pursue them. Whether it’s fear, doubt or some other insecurity that holds us back, these missed opportunities keep us from living the life of our dreams.

In 711 a North African warrior, whose army was backed up to the Mediterranean Sea, gave the unthinkable order to his men to "burn your boats," thus taking away his army’s only means of escape. Faced with certain death unless they were victorious, his army routed their opponents even though they were outnumbered five to one. When we are likewise resolved, we too can conquer all the obstacles in our path.

Don't worry about "how-to-do-it." One of my early mistakes was trying to figure out how I was going to do something before I'd get committed to do it. Now I think about all of the great inventions of our time, and I wonder if we’d have any of them if the inventor had waited to make his commitment until he knew how he was going to do it. Making the decision (the resolution) to do it is the most important part of any undertaking. As W.H. Murray wrote, “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”

If you don’t feel like you have enough information to make a decision, then by all means, get the information. But don’t put off getting the information as a means to put off making the decision. And don’t think you have to have ALL the information that’s available --- you only need ENOUGH to fully evaluate and decide. “Paralysis by analysis” has killed many a dream.

Any decision is almost always better than no decision as it puts into play some powerful forces. As Goethe also told us, “Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.”

And that’s worth thinking about.

- Vic Johnson

YOU CAN DO SOMETHING

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Your life will always be to a large extent whatever you want to make of it. The mold to your success and fortune are in your hands. You can't do everything, but you can do something.

You choose your thoughts and your actions. Your thoughts and your actions will lead you to success.

Nobody can do it for you. Nobody will do it for you. You have to make it happen. Only you can find success.

If you take responsibility for your actions, you can live your dreams and attain the success you want and deserve.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Mothering without a Map: The Search for the Good Mother

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– By Kathryn Black

The journey toward motherhood for any woman begins with conception. But whose? Did my maternal path begin when my first child was conceived? The casual answer to that question is yes. But the true answer, I think, is that the journey began long ago, with my conception, or my mother’s, or her mother’s or even further back in the chain of mothers before us. For me, as for every woman, all the incidents of my life, all that makes up my character and personality, my DNA, what I read and experience, where I’ve traveled from and to, all of it led me to motherhood. And all of it affects how I mother. Nothing, however, exerts an influence on how a woman raises a child as powerfully as does her own mother. For some women, the maternal route traces a clean trajectory from a childhood of being watched over by a loving and consistent mother to later parenthood whose foundation rests on Mother’s solid template.

For others of us, the maternal experience is far different. My mother disappeared into hospitals when I was four years old and died when I was six. From her I came to know the cavern of grief the absent mother creates. I also know what it is to be mothered by someone who can’t see you, who can’t recognize or respond to the needs of your deepest self. That was the kind of care I found in mother substitutes—stepmothers, but mainly my maternal grandmother—who held dominion over me after my mother’s death. These experiences, which underlay my identity, kept me from the
comfortable assumption that I would mother my children with ease, relying on the patterns, practices and confidences conveyed from mother to daughter. For a long time, my childhood privation kept me from motherhood altogether. My first marriage was to a man who wanted nothing to do with fatherhood, and that suited me just fine. I wanted a career and an arena of cities and adventure, not the stifling limits of a life I assumed would be bound by shopping malls and schoolyards. I feared the suffocation of motherhood. At age forty-one I married again, this time to a childless man who wanted children with the same fever that had by then overpowered my
fears. Together we created a family, with two sons born to us in quick succession.

Once a mother myself I began to search for assurance that I could nurture my children more joyfully, deliberately and lovingly than I had been reared. Long excluded from the hallowed covenant between mothers and daughters, I knew I had missed something essential, something mothers impart to daughters about becoming women and mothers, something women who have or had intimate mothers know and use to raise happy, well- adjusted children. I sought evidence that maternal care, though perhaps best or most easily acquired at the breast of one’s own mother, can be learned elsewhere.

Mothers are so vital to children that renowned pediatrician and psychoanalyst D. W. Winnicott put it this way: “There is no such thing as a baby.” He meant that a baby must be considered not in isolation but in relationship to the someone nearby whose eyes and ears are “glued to it.” Infants cannot exist without the care of another; they are bound by biology to the adults responsible for them. Cornell University anthropologist Meredith Small says that evolution has arranged mothers and babies this way so that “the mother will feed and protect the infant and the infant will remain close by to be fed and protected.”

Parenthood, the intricate weave of biological, psychological and cultural resolve, extends further into the human offspring’s life than it does for any other animal. Intense parenting is, in fact, one of the most distinguishing features of the human species. The care parents provide their children, however, varies widely. It ranges from optimal—exactly what nature meant and the baby requires—all the way to destructive. For those of us who received nurturing that fell short of ideal, the knowledge that adult caregivers—usually but not exclusively mothers—are essential to
children is a two-edged sword. We live lives made more complex by having missed first-rate care in childhood, and we face the momentous task of mothering without a worthy model to follow.

My quest to understand what becomes of the under-mothered when they have children and to discover whether flawed mothering can be overcome in the next generation led me to the fields of psychiatric and psychoanalytic research, developmental psychology and social work as well as biology and anthropology. In the writings of experts in those fields I found answers to my questions about the purpose of mothers in the lives of children. There I also found explanations for why children cling, often far into adulthood, to inadequate mothers and why humans tend to repeat in
adulthood patterns experienced in childhood, even when those patterns of behavior and relatedness don’t bring them what they want or need. There, too, I learned what developmental psychologists have discovered about why some people are able to overcome troubled childhoods and lead satisfying lives, and others are not. I found answers and reassurance in the work of such experts, but comfort and wisdom have come from the women, ages twenty to seventy, who have told me their mother stories—in person, on the telephone, via e-mail and through questionnaires. I’ve heard from them of the many ways the path nature intends for us—being suckled, nurtured and
protected by a responsive caregiver—can go wrong. Mothers sometimes go crazy, desert us or die young. Others stay but are inept or cold, mean or wounded, distant or perpetually distracted, well intentioned but needy, possessive or overprotective, alcoholic or otherwise unpredictable. Whether these women are at fault or are victims of their fates, the result is girls who grow up without having been well mothered. The voices of many of the more than fifty women who participated in my research illustrate the experience of being under-mothered and of becoming mothers who strive to provide for their own children something different from what they
themselves received. Along the way, I’ve come to see that while scientists help us understand the past and its effects, it’s often other mothers who point the way as we walk into the future with our children.

BOOK EXCERPT: Mothering without a Map: The Search for the Good Mother Within – By Kathryn Black

DO THE NEXT THING

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You'll gain the advantage in any situation through one medium: time. When you think ahead of any approaching action you'll always have the advantage. You'll be the winner.

Keeping a little ahead of conditions is one of the secrets of business. The time to repair your roof is when the sun is shining. Try to do things before they need to be done.

Let your advance worrying become advance thinking and planning. Position yourself ahead of time in the best place for you.

When you do what is necessary, all the odds are in your favor.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Friday, February 25, 2005

Moving Beyond Definitions

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Over-Identifying With Labels

As humans, we possess the tendency to name and categorize things. This applies to everything from plants and animals to styles to ourselves and others. Everyone who walks the earth carries or has carried some label, such as white, old, artist, animal lover, parent, child, or liberal, that either they themselves or others used to define them. While labels can help us form useful first impressions, they can also act as a thick filter between the world and ourselves. Expectations are derived from labels. When we begin to define others in terms of their profession, looks, wealth, or political background, it becomes harder to accept them unconditionally. And when we define ourselves with strict labels, we limit ourselves and our potential by effectively pigeonholing our identities. The challenge lies in finding a balance between that which defines us and our evolving natures.

We first learn who we are when we are children. Identity is forged by society, which labels us so-and-so's children, a boy or a girl, a reader or a jock, or shy or outgoing. This is natural, considering that characterizing others upon first meeting is an automatic process. But when we regard these initial impressions as unchangeable, we deny the fact that we are all blessed with roles that can change from one day to the next or exist simultaneously with other roles. It is possible to be both a parent and an artist and a runner and a businesswoman. If you were to choose a single role, such as artist, it would limit the paths you could take. If you were, however, to say, "I am a creative person, though that creativity is sometimes blocked," it would open new avenues of exploration because you could express your creativity in many ways.

People are so much more than what they do or what they have done and all people are potentially capable of taking on a new identity or letting go of an old one because of emotional or environmental factors. You may choose to be "a strong-willed executive" in one moment in time and "a nurturing parent" in another. Yet you remain wholly you. Though labels can be a good stepping off point, they are no substitute for understanding who we really are. If everyone was encouraged to look beyond labels, open-mindedness and tolerance would be the inevitable result.


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The Rose Within

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- by Umair

A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it.

He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.

We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.

The Parable of the Rose~ was written by Umair...a college student in Saudi Arabia.

SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE ARE DREAMERS

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Your dreams are a vision of where you'll be after the battle; your prize at the end of your journey to success. Your goals are the steps you take to finally attain your prize.

Unless you're willing to work hard and establish some discipline in your life, all of your dreams will be pipe dreams, little mental fantasy trips that will never materialize.

Make concrete steps toward fulfilling your ultimate dream, and start with solid objectives called goals. Your dreams are where you want to go, your goals are how you get there.

The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.

Don't be afraid to think big and dare to be great. Dreamers are not content with mediocrity. They never dream of going half way.

People with dreams and goals succeed because they know where they're going.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Parenting The Vedic Way

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Using Doshas To Understand Children

Parenting is an application of love in our daily lives. Our children give us the opportunity to experience, and express love every day. As parents, we have a very unique relationship with each of our children. We interact with them on so many different levels at the same time. We can be a parent, teacher, friend, chauffeur, psychologist, advisor, disciplinarian, coach, referee, or whatever! When you know your child's dominant dosha, you are better able to handle the myriad of things that come up at any given moment. You are better able to parent from a place of love rather than expectation. You know, for example, that your Vata child may have some anxiety about a friend's sleepover. Or that our Kapha child may need two different alarm clocks to get up in the morning.

Mind-body type does have genetic components. But a family doesn't necessarily have to be dominant in one dosha or another. A Kapha mother and father very well could have a Pitta child, for example. You need to look on both sides of the family to see where a dosha may be inherited. For example, a Pitta child could get her blue eyes from her Pitta grandmother, or her athletic ability from her Pitta uncle.

It is interesting to look back at your own childhood and discover the doshas of each of your brothers and sisters. Look at how you interacted with your siblings. What were these relationships like? Remember that your kids look to you for skills to handle each other, too. They learn from your example.

It doesn't matter how many children you have, as a parent you soon learn that you can't parent any two kids the same way. When we look at all the factors involved in a child's individuality and the different ages and stages they all go through, there is no question that parenting is the most difficult job there is! Ayurveda gives us tools to help us relate to our children, and to help our children relate to each other.

This is reprinted from "What's Your Dosha Baby? Discover the Vedic Way for Compatibility in Life and Love" by Lissa Coffey

For more information visit WhatsYourDosha.com

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Winners do!

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- Bruno Gideon

One evening my friend Janice and I were talking about success in business. She put into one sentence a thought that some writers take whole books to express. Here’s what she said: “A winner is someone who does what a loser doesn’t.” An example springs to mind. A loser sees a customer waiting for service and thinks, “I’m not responsible for that part of the store.” He leaves the customer stewing – and building a case against ever shopping there again. A winner takes action with a smile and a brief comment: “Sorry to keep you waiting. Someone will be with you shortly.” This approach not only makes customers feel comfortable, it also helps them forge a bond of loyalty to the store.

You may delay, but time will not.
– Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)

Whatever you do might be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
– Mahatma Gandhi (1869–1948)

The way to secure success is to be more anxious about obtaining it than about deserving it.
– William Hazlitt (1778–1830)

Winners see possibilities all around them while losers are otherwise engaged, gazing at their navels. Winners see the problem and act. Unfortunately for them, losers don't see the problems as opportunities for action. Here’s a good example of this from my book Don’t Take No for an Answer!

Two employees of a shoe factory were sent by their director to Africa to investigate the possibilities of opening up a branch office. One wrote in his report, “Nothing doing, here they all go barefoot.” His colleague began with the words, “Huge potential . . .”

Which one of these men do you think will win?

- Bruno Gideon

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

11 Ways To Improve Your Health

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Hints For A Healthy Lifestyle

1. Our bodies are attuned to the wisdom of many millions of years of evolution and communicate with us through each moment of our lives. Listening to your body by acknowledging and acting on feelings of comfort and discomfort, illness and health, or happiness and despair can lead you to a better understanding of the body's needs.

2. To fuel the fire which is your being, it is vital to consume only that which will benefit the body. Processed and artificial foods should be replaced with fresh produce and whole grains. Exploring macrobiotics, vegetarianism, and other unique diets can become a culinary adventure.

3. There is no medication so formidable as rest. When you sleep uninterrupted for a period of eight hours, your body's natural healing and rejuvenating abilities are free to work unencumbered by physical and mental stresses.

4. Our breath is always with us. Breathing deeply and deliberately provides nourishment in the form of oxygen to the body but also acts to relax the brain and nervous system.

5. The human form has adapted for activity and something is lost when we deny ourselves movement in all forms. Exercise and stretching not only improve the body, increasing the effectiveness of the lungs and circulatory system while expelling toxins and boosting immunity, but also lifts the spirits by stimulating the body's flow of pleasurable endorphins.

6. Yoga unites the mind and the body, promoting health in both. Regular practice of the discipline's complex movements tone and stimulate the physical form while increasing concentration, decreasing stress, and inspiring well-being.

7. The human body possesses the ability to cleanse itself. When you fast, you trigger this ability, prompting beneficial enzymes to enter the bloodstream, where they eliminate accumulated wastes such as pollutants and metabolic wastes, to rebuild immunity and restore health.

8. Balance must prevail for health to exist. Meditation can help you achieve a healthful balance in body and soul. Concentration, meditative breathing, or visualizations focus the mind and allow negativity to drain away, leaving you with a sense of control and self-awareness. Find your bliss.

9. Home is the heart of health and a change in your environment can inspire positive changes within your body. Explore Feng Shui, color therapy, or new methods of organization. Clearing the clutter in your home's pathways may clear clutter in your body and soul.

10. Challenges can be exhilarating at first but, when prolonged, cause stress. Sustained stress can lead to weakened immune function, sickness, fatigue, anxiety, and depression. Take time out to care for yourself and focus on relaxing solitary pursuits.

11. Look on the bright side of life. Laughter lowers levels of stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol and increases the levels of pleasurable endorphins within the body, leaving you with a happy afterglow and tension-free muscles. A positive outlook improves immunity and promotes faster healing after surgeries or illness.

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The Law of Forgiveness

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– By Gary R. Renard

The path I had chosen was not fast-food spirituality, and the Course's Workbook was no piece of cake.

After a year and four months of almost constant dedication and attention, I managed to complete all 365 of the Workbook Lessons. Although the Course's theory is set forth in the Text, it is greatly elaborated in the Workbook.

Both are necessary to understand and apply the Course; neither is complete without the other. The Workbook, however, has a more practical feature to it. Its exercises, which are applied to students' personal relationships and to any situation they find themselves in on any given day, are designed to bring about the experience that what the Course is teaching is true.

Indeed, Arten and Pursah had already emphasized that the real Answer to the ego's world would not present itself in the form of an intellectual answer, but as an experience of God that would in effect render the experience of separation meaningless. For me, there were also the occasional and welcome experiences of peace that were present, instead of my usual and habitual upsets. That alone was enough to make me thankful for the direction my life had taken....

By August, I was very excited because eight months had gone by since I had last seen Arten and Pursah. By now I trusted them to keep their word and appear to me again at the end of that interval. Then one afternoon, Pursah showed up, but Arten didn't.

PURSAH: Hey, teacher of God. What's up?

GARY: If I told you, you'd slap my face.

PURSAH: Did we forget to take our anti-smart --- pill this morning?

GARY: Just joking. It's great to see you, but where's that Arten guy?

PURSAH: He's on business.

GARY: Where, or should I say when?

PURSAH: Another dimension. It's not really a different place, because there aren't really any different places, and I think you're starting to get the metaphysical picture. Arten is working with you right now in another one of your lifetimes, and you don't even know it! Sometimes people don't know an ascended master is around. That's why I told you we like to fit in wherever we go. Arten is actually here, too. An ascended master is everywhere. You just can't always see them. We seldom project
more than one bodily image of ourselves at one time, and it's always for teaching purposes. The teaching isn't always traditional. Sometimes we interact with someone or do something somewhere that will help facilitate forgiveness in that particular dimension. Most of the time we don't appear at all; we just give people our thoughts.

GARY: I don't suppose you're gonna tell me about the lifetime Arten is helping me in?

PURSAH: Let's work on this one, hotshot. When you forgive in one lifetime, you help the Holy Spirit heal all of them. The forgiveness you've been doing for the last few months is having an effect on you in other dimensions of time. Arten will show up with me again next visit. This time, just focus on talking with me. We're going to discuss forgiveness - true forgiveness. I want you to be even better at it, O.K? The Course is enough, but you're fortunate to have good help in understanding it. For most people, that kind of help is absolutely necessary.

GARY: As Benjamin Franklin said, "Necessity is a mother."

PURSAH: Let's hope you quote the Course more accurately. The Workbook has helped you tremendously. You can read parts of it again anytime you want, but you don't have to do the exercises again. Some people do the exercises in the Workbook twice; some people do them every year. It's an individual thing. In your case, just reading and applying the Workbook ideas the same way you do with the ideas in the Text and the Manual will be enough from now on. As for this discussion, let's get to work.

The Course teaches that your sole responsibility is to accept the Atonement for yourself. (ACIM: T25-26) You've already accelerated a process where you forgive others instead of judging them. Having completed the Workbook, you finally understand that whenever you condemn another, your salvation is off to a flying stop. You've also had more experiences that the world is a dream, nothing but illusion.

GARY: We had a guest at our study group meeting a couple of weeks ago when somebody mentioned something about the world being an illusion, and this guy was really pissed. He said, "What's the point?" I knew the answer was that you have to understand the world's a dream in order to comprehend forgiveness and salvation, but I didn't explain it very well.

PURSAH: Yes. We said earlier it's not enough to say the world is an illusion. The point is that you have to learn how to forgive in order to get home. Understanding the metaphysics of the Course is required in order to understand forgiveness, but it may be helpful to some people if you stress forgiveness first, then bring in the dreamlike nature of the world and other features of the truth gradually.

That's just the opposite of what we did with you, but there's a big difference between a book like the one that's going to result from our visits and the kind of personal interactions you'll have with most people. You're not going to teach anybody the whole Course. That means people will only stay with it if they hear something that rings true for them, or piques their interest. Don't try to control that. Just be yourself and let the Holy Spirit work with people. Yes, ask for guidance and share your experience if you want, but don't try to change the world or anyone in it. Just forgive - silently. Don't go up to people and say, "I'm forgiving you now, you know." Which brings us back to the subject at hand. Tell me
something you remember from the Workbook; anything that comes to mind - quickly.

GARY: O.K. This is one of my favorites.

I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me. (ACIM: W386)

PURSAH: Good one. That's from the Workbook, which also says,

...The ego holds the body dear because it dwells in it, and lives united with the home that it has made. It is a part of the illusion that has sheltered it from being found illusory itself. (ACIM: W382)

Now, if you thought you were a body before you had the Course, then you can be certain other people definitely think they are bodies. An important component of your forgiveness is that you want to teach people, silently, that they are not bodies. That's how your mind learns for certain that you are not a body. As the Course puts it,

As you teach so shall you learn. (ACIM: T82)

As we go along, try to remember that. As we've said, when you forgive others, it's really you yourself who is being forgiven....

BOOK EXCERPT: The Disappearance of the Universe: Straight Talk about Illusions, Past Lives, Religion, Sex, Politics, and the Miracles of Forgiveness

– By Gary R. Renard

WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY

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You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.

The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it. If you have the desire, you have the power to attain it.

You can have anything you want in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.
Your dreams can come true if you pursue them.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Heights Of Awareness

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Highly Sensitive People

Some people are born into the world with their ears and eyes open to the strong energy pulsating all around them. They experience everyday sensory input in a uniquely heightened way that can cause both pleasure and pain. In an environment overflowing with subtleties of thought, chemicals, noise, light, scent, and both positive and negative energy, these highly sensitive people do not have the ability to filter the emotions, substances, and sensations they take in. They can be easily overwhelmed in crowds and may require quiet time alone to regroup their feelings. But highly sensitive people are far from being weak. On the contrary, they are strong, perceptive, intuitive, and exceptionally artistic people who have a wonderful gift of insight to offer.

Highly sensitive people feel emotions deeply and, as they tend to be empathic, find themselves affected by the emotions of others, even the emotions of actors or characters in books. Because of this, they are perceptive of the needs, joys, and pains of others and they cannot simply shake off their feelings. They are as hurt by an insult to another as they would be by an insult to themselves, and try to avoid most conflict. When faced with negative emotions or situations, it can be easy for highly sensitive people to suffer from depression or anxiety. Their unique mode of perception allows them to develop a strong appreciation for nature, music, art, and literature. Many talented artists are sensitive and most sensitive people are artistic in some way.

This sensitivity exerts itself physically as well, which can cause the nervous system to become overloaded when faced with bright lights, loud noises, strong tastes, or erratic environments. Highly sensitive people may be allergic to a number of foods, fabrics, and chemicals. They may also be so touch-sensitive that coarser cloths like denim bruise their skin. Thus, they fare best in peaceful, harmonious settings that offer strong support and may find they build their strongest bonds with other highly sensitive people who understand their needs. To minimize stress, it can be beneficial to create a daily routine, seek out calming activities, avoid jarring noise and lighting, meditate, and use relaxing essential oils.

Though some highly sensitive people develop animosity toward their way of experiencing the world, it should be understood that it is not a curse, but a path to wisdom. Denying your sensitivity can lead to unhappiness but exploring its benefits can lead to positive change in yourself and others, particularly when you choose to seek out the world's beauty and demonstrate to others the heights it can reach.

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This week's eMeditation:

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- Vic Johnson

"What you are, so is your world. Everything in the universe is resolved into your own inward experience. It matters little what is without, for it is all a reflection of your own state of consciousness. It matters everything what you are within, for everything without will be mirrored and colored accordingly.” – Path to Prosperity

Although we rarely want to admit it, the world (as we see it) is simply a mirror, reflecting back to us our own inner state. If we are inwardly in turmoil then we are certain to see a tumultuous world. Just as certainly, a seemingly joyful world is only returning to us our own inward joy.

Those days when everything seems to go wrong from the moment we wake up, usually begins with one bad event (car won’t start, alarm didn’t go off, etc.) that we allow to affect our state of mind. That leads to another, and then another and before you know it, the world looks like an ugly place to us.

Put enough of those days together and life can become almost unbearable. Yet, nothing in the world created our misery --- it was our response ---- our own state of consciousness --- that created the ugliness.

In the mid-1990’s I allowed a few negative events (brought on by living by the wrong principles) to drastically change my state of consciousness. In the middle of one of the greatest economic expansions in the history of the world, I barely lived above the level of poverty. Where others saw opportunity, I saw lack. It was simply a reflection of my inner state.

By 1998 I had gained control of my inner self and, accordingly, the sun once again began to shine in my world. The same circumstances that had once appeared as lack, now appeared as opportunities. Today there are so many opportunities in my life that I am only able to act on a tiny fraction of them. My table truly overfloweth.

During my dark days I came across a tiny booklet called 12 Ways to Develop a Positive Attitude. The author, Dale Galloway, writes from experience. He was a well-known pastor whose wife suddenly left him one year a few days before Christmas.

One of the many gems he offered was: “No matter what happens, look for the good and you’ll find it. A positive thinker does not refuse to recognize the negative - he refuses to dwell on it. Positive thinking is a form of thought which habitually looks for the best results from the worst conditions. It is always possible to look for something good; to expect the best for yourself even though things look bad. And the remarkable fact is that when you seek good, you will find it.”

And that’s worth thinking about.

Copyright (C) 2003-2005 Vic Johnson.
All rights reserved worldwide.
Change your thoughts, change your life
Free eBook - As A Man Thinketh
James Allen's timeless classic
http://www.AsAManThinketh.net

YOU MUST DREAM BIG AND THINK BIG TO BE BIG

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High expectation always precedes high achievement. You're as small as your controlling desires, or as great as your dominant aspirations.

Once your mind stretches to a new idea it never goes back to its original dimensions.
Think little goals and you can expect little achievement. Think big goals and you'll win big success.

The first ingredient of your success is to dream a great dream.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Friday, February 18, 2005

Cooking For Prosperity

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Feng Shui For The Kitchen

Nourish the body, nourish the soul. The kitchen is the heart of the home and in Feng Shui (the Chinese art of placement) this key room represents nourishment and prosperity. It's important that the food we eat be prepared in an environment where there is good chi (energy). Therefore, a clean, harmonious kitchen is important to our physical health and our spiritual health.

Keeping the kitchen squeaky clean is not only good hygiene, it allows for a healthy flow of chi so that the cook may create delicious, healthy meals. One of the most important principals of Feng Shui is clearing clutter and in the kitchen this includes old, stale foods in the cupboards and refrigerator. It's also important not to have an excess of stored food, even in the freezer. To encourage prosperity, you have to have room to grow.

Along with keeping all appliances sparkling, they should be in good working order. Use all appliances regularly to encourage chi flow. Because the stove represents health and wealth, using all the burners equally symbolizes good things coming from multiple sources. To double prosperity, a mirror or reflective aluminum, may be placed at the back of the stove. This also allows the cook to be in a position to see what is going on behind his/her back thus keeping them in a position of command. It's particularly important to the honor the cook since they bring chi to the food we eat.

To balance the fire element in the kitchen, cooling white, light green, and blue are good colors. White particularly mediates between the water and fire elements in the kitchen. And, for a harmonious kitchen, it's better to separate opposing elements, such as the oven (fire) and the sink (water). If they are opposite each other, a green rug on the floor or a plant on a wooden kitchen island (also a good divider) between them is a pleasing remedy.

Plants, flowers, fresh fruit and vegetables all encourage healthy chi flow. When the kitchen is welcoming, the heart of the home is filled with positive, healthy energy which overflows to the rest of the house and the family that lives there.

For more information visit Womenof.com

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What Love Is

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- By 4-8 year old children

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca - age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen,". Bobby - age 7

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." Nikka - age 6

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." Karen - age 7

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four-year-old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

OPPORTUNITY IS ALL AROUND YOU

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The people that really succeed in the world are the people who look for the circumstances they want. And, if they can't find them, they make them.

The lure of the distant and the difficult can be deceptive. The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now. Properly perceived, every situation can become an opportunity for you.

Your destiny isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of choice. It's not something you wait for, but rather something you achieve with effort.

You're surrounded by opportunity, but things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Don't Be Afraid

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What Is Fear?

Young and old, rich and poor, man and woman - each of us exists in the shadow of fear. From the time we first become conscious, we are plagued by fears and though our fears evolve, they never leave us. Most of us tend to make life choices based on the fear of failure, the fear of success, the fear of being mocked, the fear of the unknown, and the fear that we have sullied the gift of life. In many ways fear can be a comforting crutch. But while fear is a natural and necessary innate survival instinct, it can also be a hindrance that works to keep a person's soul from reaching its potential. When you live in reaction to your fears (be they big or small), that fear is in control of your life.

In Buddhism, there are two types of fear. There is the fear inspired by real dangers, and there is the fear of that which cannot harm us and that which we cannot control. This is the unhealthy fear that can make you unhappy and arrests your creativity. The latter is more like an intense worry, a doubt, or nervousness that paralyzes your desire to act.

When fear comes, there are numerous ways to soothe yourself. You may find that writing in a journal, praying, meditation, interacting with a pet, or listening to peaceful music can ease you into a less fearful and more confident state. If you find yourself overwhelmed by fear, regain control by giving yourself to the count of five to acknowledge your feelings in whatever way is comfortable, and then banish those feelings by finding a constructive solution. Another way to deal with fear is to treat it like an entity within you. Get very quiet and centered and talk to it, ask it what it wants, why is it there, what does it need? Your body has all of the answers already, you simply need to ask and then listen. You may be surprised at what you come up with if you really spend some time with this. After you have sorted through these feelings, ask the fear to leave. If you like, make a ceremony for yourself with candles releasing the fear to the universe. See the fear leaving your body and being transformed into beautiful light.

Our entire lives are mysteries and none of us know what the future will bring. The strongest weapon we possess against fear is remembering the many blessings, talents, and loved-ones we possess in the present - for those are the gifts that can keep fear at bay.

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Heavenletters: Love Letters From God: Book 1

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– By Gloria Wendroff

What Greatness Might Look Like

God said:

You have an old image of yourself, perhaps one handed down.

You do not know what you are capable of, and you do not know all that you have already fulfilled. You judge by the world. You think you cannot be an enlightened being because you carry around a physical body, and you equate yourself with your physical body. You think you can't be enlightened because you bite your fingernails or take the biggest piece of cake and do not always feel loving every minute. You think you can't be enlightened because you are too gregarious or too reclusive. You have a million reasons to doubt your enlightenment. You have set up incorrect parameters.

In your mind, you have been working from the bottom up. You have come from the premise that there is much you have to change before you can be enlightened. You have a long to-do and to-be list, filled with imposed regulations. And, time and time again, you don't fulfill your list, and time and time again, you feel enlightenment getting further and further away from you, as if you are on a treadmill and getting nowhere.

I would like to suggest that you start from the premise that you are already where you want to be. You are already enlightened. It is a good premise to start from. It is certainly much better than thinking you will never get there. Start from the top down. Start from where you want to be. Already enlightened, all you have to do is to recognize it. This idea alone will melt blocks you have held on to. When you stand at the mountain top, snow melts downwards. It doesn't melt upwards. Start from the top.

Enlightenment simply isn't what you have thought. You can be an enlightened being with foibles. Being enlightened doesn't mean you are always wonderful. It doesn't mean that you are always appreciated when you are wonderful. Inner being and outer many not be aligned. They are two avenues, and, like train tracks in the distance, they will meet. They will meet.

Enlightenment happens in awareness. There is no other place where it can happen. Light may certainly be revealed in action, but actions do not of necessity indicate the light that shines within.

So long as you are in a body, you are in a body. It is only in your mental conditioning that the physical body hampers your enlightenment. There is nothing, nothing you have to be in order to be enlightened. You do not need someone to show you how. You do not have to look a certain way. You do not have to eat a certain way. You do not have to be celibate or not be celibate. Surely, enlightenment is beyond your physical propensities. Do you really think, for instance, that what you eat is more powerful than the rays of the Light of God? Do you really think your physical body has to be in perfect health for you to be enlightened? Do you think you have to have great mental prowess to be enlightened? I.Q. is a world quotient. I am talking about enlightenment. Your E.Q. is high. It reaches Heaven.

I give you permission to be the human being you are. I have not told you to be someone else. I have not told you to imitate anyone. I have not told you to force anything or to pretend anything. I have told you to aspire to greatness because that is the truth of you. Greatness is not far away from you. It is right within you. Whatever you may look like, whatever the world may think of you, even whatever you think of yourself, you are already the goldenness you aspire to. In the moment of inception of Creation, I made you so.

– By Gloria Wendroff

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Although Heavenletters are copyrighted, you are invited to share them, send them to friends, add to your newsletter, use as a signature, make bumper stickers, skywrite with them – whatever you like, and please include the Source! www.heavenletters.org

YOU CAN, BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU CAN

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Your range of available choices right now has no limits. The only limits you have are in your mind. You've got it in you to succeed. Just make up your mind and stick with it.

You weren't born with any limits on your powers or any set limits to your capacity.
At any moment, you have more possibilities than you can act upon.

Imagine your possibilities and your vision expands. Capture your dreams in your mind and your life becomes full. Reach out and touch the limits of your being in your mind.

Look at things as they can be.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Finding Simple Solutions

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Simplicity Circles

Few people would give up the chance to have more free time, to rush less, and to forge a connection with the earth - but the path to these ends seems complicated. Society equates success with money, prestige, and the accumulation of things. Throughout the world, however, people are questioning this definition of success. They are looking for ways to save time and money, to live on less, to support nature, and to feel like they play a vital part in the universe. People are attracted to the voluntary simplicity movement because they want a new way to look at life but they don't want to do it alone. A means of finding friendship, support, inspiration, intellectual stimulation, and personal transformation - simplicity circles bring together those people who want to find the good life.

A simplicity circle is a unique form of conscious learning that helps people reject excess consumerism, competitiveness, and commercialism in favor of creativity, harmony with the earth, and community. As participants discuss voluntary simplicity, they analyze their own experiences and the experiences of others. This allows them to make informed choices about what to purchase, how and where to work, how to slow down, and how to enjoy life. But participating in a simplicity circle is more than a learning experience and the discussions often go beyond the primary topic of rejecting the consumer culture. Simplicity circles are a form of gratification wherein you are recognized and accepted for your heart and your soul, rather than the image of success put forth by society.

Since the first simplicity circle came into being in Seattle in 1992, people have created circles throughout the United States, England, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. If there are no circles in your area, you may want to create one. Successful simplicity circles are small, leaderless, non-political, and noncompetitive. Ideal members are those both willing to talk about their experiences and commit to action designed to spread the voluntary simplicity movement.

The people who participate in simplicity circles have diverse reasons for doing so. Some are searching for meaning in their lives. Others question the way humanity treats the earth. Many are seeking like-minded people who have chosen the same life-style. The ultimate goal of each simplicity circle is to understand that all life is interdependent. Joining a simplicity circle can be a powerful motivator, helping you find the means to live in harmony with yourself, with others, and with Mother Earth.

For more information visit Simpleliving.net

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Wishful thinking

- By Bruno Gideon

Valentine’s Day was this week, and it brought to my mind a friend who is unlucky in love. He is always flirting with women who are obviously incompatible with him. Each time, he believes he can break his pattern of failure, as if wishing will make this relationship turn out right. Of course, things go south on him once again and he’s ready for his next calamity. He is flirting with disaster!

Stop the habit of wishful thinking and start the habit of thoughtful wishes
– Mary Martin

If a man could have half of his wishes, he would double his troubles.
– Benjamin Franklin

The crazy thing is, my friend knows things are not going to turn out well. He has the strange satisfaction each time of telling himself, “I told you so.” Like many of us, he is caught in a web of negative self-fulfilling prophecies. His only hope is to begin to have positive thoughts: looking for romance in all the right places – a romance that is likely to turn out well because of his compatibility with the object of his desire. Perhaps what will motivate him is thinking of how much more satisfying his “I told you so” is going to be this time.

What about you? Ever had too many negative thoughts?

- By Bruno Gideon

TO CHOOSE TIME IS TO SAVE TIME

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You always have enough time if you will but use it wisely. Your dilemma goes deeper than having a shortage of time, it's basically a problem of priorities. Most people leave undone those things that should be done, while they do things that they shouldn't be doing.

Set priorities for your goals. A major part of successful living lies in your ability to put first things first. Most major goals are not achieved because people put second things first.

Is what you're doing getting you closer to your objectives? Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time.

Don't serve time, make time serve you.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Therapy Of The Mineral Kingdom

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Healing With Crystals

Vibrant, jagged and spectacular; crystals dazzle with their beauty. Initially, it may be their loveliness that beckons us to pick one up; but the good vibes we feel when we hold a crystal may be our body responding to its particular curative quality. These therapeutic stones, which are forged deep within Mother Earth, have been used for thousands of years to restore balance to the body, mind and spirit. Crystals carry pure energy, and each type possesses its own vibration. They radiate energy in a coherent, highly concentrated form and as a result they have the power to interact and affect our own energies and auras, bringing healing and repair on all levels. They harmonize the body much like a tuning fork.

There are many types of crystals and each one has its own special healing and awakening property. Some even correspond to specific chakras. The Clear Quartz, for instance, amplifies, focuses, stores and transforms. It is a multi-purpose gem so if you can only afford one stone, this should be your choice. Quartz is used in clocks, computers, lasers and radios because it is able to accumulate and intensify energy within its structure and send it back out. On the body, this crystal reinvigorates and helps the immune system. It can also cleanse and eliminate blockages.

While there are certified practitioners who are trained to work with these geometric forms, anyone can enjoy and benefit from this ancient practice. First choose a stone; one way is through intuition. If you are drawn to a crystal then that is the stone for you. It is suggested that you should never let anyone touch your crystals to keep the energy pure. Each crystal should be cleansed before use to clear any negative energy attached to it. One way is to place it outside in a glass bowl with spring water and sea salt for three days; rinse with spring water; and the place it on your altar or sacred space for 3 days. After your crystal is cleared, place it in your hand to infuse your stone with a purpose. You can do this by lying down and placing the crystal on your body wherever you feel it is appropriate. Play some soft music and breathe deeply into your belly; as you do so, visualize the positive energy of the crystal swirling within you. Setting your intention stimulates the melding of your personal power with that of the mineral kingdom, thus manifesting light, love and the good of all.

For more information visit Mysticalsoup.com

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Zen and the Art of Falling In Love

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– By Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D.

"We never ask the meaning of life When we are in love." – Bhagwan Osho

We are meant to live a life of love. When we're not in love, something's the matter. However, no matter how successful some are in other aspects of their lives, they don't feel it's possible to have the same success in love. They tell themselves to "be realistic." Being realistic about relationships" is considered natural as we "grow up" and give up the fantasies, foolishness and dreams of childhood. But nothing could be further from natural. Being in love is the most mature and realistic thing you can do. It energizes your life, fills you with positivity, creates generosity and makes every moment beautiful. The body heals the heart is
happy. The real question is, why aren't we in love all the time? How can we learn to fall in love with all of life?

The world of Zen is filled with guidance and practice that permits us to open our hearts, clear our minds, become present, be who we are and be able to discover the wonderful secret of falling in love with all of life. As a great Zen Master says,

"When there are no unnecessary thoughts in your mind Everyday is a good day." Ummon

Here are some directions from the world of Zen. The following exercises,

(based upon the Zen And The Art Of Falling In Love, ) will show us how to turn our lives upside down, clear away weeds in our gardens and be ready to feel love wherever we are. As Zen practice reminds us - "the entry point is right where you are."

1) THE ONE RIGHT BESIDES YOU

Most of the time we are searching and searching for the right person. Zen suggests that we stop running around seeking and see what is right in front of our eyes. Look at a person who is close to you right now - anyone it happens to be.

Notice the ways in which you push him away. Stop doing that. Allow the two of you to be together in whatever way you are. Let all of it be fine just as it is. Do the same thing tomorrow with someone else. We dismiss so many people who are in our worlds, while waiting for the "right one" to appear. The more we can be "right" with everyone, the more we can open up to what is being offered now, the fuller and more joyous our lives will be.

2) PLAYING AT LOVE

So many complain that they are not loved. The reason for this can be quite simple. They are so busy playing roles and games that the partner never gets to know who they really are. Notice what roles (or games) you play in relationships, and what roles you demand of others as well. See if you are in love with the person, or with the role he is playing right now. Turn this around for a little while. Try playing different roles. Try being with someone who plays roles you are not accustomed to.

Now, become aware of the difference between who you are and the roles you play. Let the roles go and simply be who you are. Who we are is always loveable and beautiful. It's the roles that get in the way.

3) LETTING HIM COME AND LETTING HIM GO

One great obstacle in living a life of love is the tendency to hold on. We grasp and cling to each, preventing the freedom of love from arising on its own. When someone comes into your life (or day) practice letting him come. Welcome the person - whoever he is. Enjoy what it is he brings. When it is time for a person to go away, practice letting him go. Do not turn the person's leaving into an experience of rejection, loss or abandonment. Realize that his leaving has nothing to do with you. It is simply time for him to go. Do this with yourself as well. Let yourself come and go freely in life, not tying yourself in unnecessary chains. The more we free others and ourselves, the more easily we fall in love.

4) PUTTING YOUR BAGGAGE DOWN

Many feel that love is not possible unless all their demands are met. They can be quite amazed to discover that these demands don't lead to happiness. They just may be obstacles to falling in love. Take a look at what you feel is absolutely necessary in relationships. Now look at it again. Realize this is baggage you are carrying that may be keeping all kinds of people and possibilities away. Not only that - this baggage can be making you fearful and rigid, not open to what is available for you.

Let one of these demands subside. At first let it go for just one day and see how it feels to be without it. (Remember you can always take it back again). Now try another day. As we do this many times, we may find that that which we thought was crucial for our lives was really getting in the way. The more we do this the more light and happy we will feel. Not only

that, but all kinds of new people, possibilities and situations we never noticed will start coming onto our path. We have made room for them by putting our baggage down.

5) GIVING GIFTS

Giving and receiving are the essence of relationships. When we are in love this is never a problem. We naturally give and are happy with whatever is offered in return. To open up to falling in love, it is important to adopt this state of mind - start giving naturally.

What gifts do you give others in relationships? Take a few moments and also see what you hope to receive in return. Now find something new you can give to somebody. Give it. Do this everyday. Each day give something else. It does not have to be fancy or expensive, just something that will add to his or her day. Then do this with all kinds of different people. Do it quietly without great fanfare and without expecting something in return.

Then do this with yourself as well. Each day take a moment to find out what kind of gift you would like today. (Can be simple - a walk in the park, new lipstick, time with someone you care for.) Now give this to yourself each day. Although this exercise is simple, it is extremely powerful. Doing this daily in your relationship can turn everything around. When you give, remember not to look for anything in return (not even a smile or thank you). Just give to give, no expectations, no demands. By living with this open, generous mind, all kinds of other gifts come to you naturally.

6) MAKING FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF

Many say they are lonely, even with a partner at their side. This is simply because they have not yet made friends with themselves. Once they make friends with themselves and are able to be who they are, it is impossible to be lonely anymore. Make friends with yourself. Spend time noticing who you are. Accept all parts of yourself. Stop judging and rejecting what is going on inside. Be still and look within.

Pay attention to your breath and just notice what is going on. Let it be. Accept it, and return to the breathing. Understand that breath by breath, underneath the clamor, you are perfect just as you are. Can you choose to be this natural self in relationships? Can you choose to have relationships with those who want and appreciate just what you are?

"When you become you Zen becomes Zen. When you become you, the whole world falls in love." – Eshin

About the Author

Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist ,speaker and long time Zen practitioner is the author of ZEN AND THE ART OF FALLING IN LOVE, (Simon and Schuster), ZEN MIRACLES (FINDING PEACE IN AN INSANE WORLD), and other books. The relationship expert on i.village.com, she has a therapy office in Manhattan, offers workshops on Zen and Relationships, and runs The Gateless Zendo, for those of all religious persuasions and those of no ersuasions. www.Brendashoshanna.com. She can also be reached at
Topspeaker@Yahoo.com

PREPARATION IS THE SECRET TO CONFIDENCE

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With practice you'll come to a point of competence. You'll find yourself accomplishing your goals gracefully and confidently.

It's then that you'll do things that you never dreamed you could do. You'll discover powers you never knew existed. If you're prepared, you're able to feel confident.

There can be no great courage when there is no confidence or assurance. Half the battle is in the conviction that you can accomplish what you undertake.

Confidence doesn't come out of nowhere. It's the result of constant work and dedication.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Monday, February 14, 2005

Pass It On

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Random Acts Of Kindness

A simple play on words, a negative turned positive and a movement is sparked. "Today I will commit one random act of senseless kindness." This simple phrase has launched an international movement inspiring people to practice kindness and to "pass it on" to others. It spawned bumper stickers, T-shirts, books, a foundation. There are now even designated Random Acts of Kindness Weeks and World Kindness Days.

While pondering an assignment for his human relations class at Bakersfield College, Chuck Wall overheard the radio news, "We have another random act of senseless violence to report." He took out the "violence" and stuck in "kindness" and gave his class their assignment. Revolutions come from just such flashes of inspiration and Wall's students became kindness revolutionaries.

Kindness is contagious. A smile begets a smile, simple courtesies encourage politeness, and a thoughtful gesture lingers in the heart. It feels good to do good and doing good deeds make others feel good. And so it goes, one good turn deserves another, and kindness becomes a way of life. Kindness is fundamental to life and it is essential in creating healthy, happy human relationships. We all need to be shown kindness and we all need to express it. Acts of kindness connect us to one another. It gives us hope in humanity.

Whether random or well planned out and articulated, acts of kindness have a domino affect in creating a better world. Generosity of spirit is just as important as monetary contributions. Sincere acts of kindness are almost always appreciated, even if there is no acknowledgment. For true kindness is unconditional with no thought of reciprocation.

Kindness lingers. We may forget the words, or even the person, but we seldom forget the act, a door held open, a cookie from a neighbor, a word of encouragement when we are feeling blue. Try it today. Commit one random act of senseless kindness. Mow a neighbor's lawn, let someone cut in line in front of you, hand out balloons for no reason, say something nice to everyone you meet. Chances are those that you touch today will "pass it on" to others. We can change the world, one smile at a time.

For more information visit Actsofkindness.org

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Embracing Change

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- by David DeFord

I love change. Whenever new versions of software come out, I upgrade early. I love the change of seasons; I even enjoy Nebraska winters. I jump and frolic over new hobbies like a puppy on toddler.

I love to try new foods and learn new things. As a career information technology leader, I initiated change for a living. In the early days of my career, nothing gave me greater joy at work than to retire a typewriter.

I confess that my biggest problem regarding change is that I don“t always finish what I start.

Change is inevitable. Our organizations change, as do our children, our communities, and our civic leaders. Even the players on our favorite sports team change.

Change comes harder for some. It makes them feel insecure and uncertain. How about you? Do you get upset when your favorite local news anchor leaves? Does it bother you when your newspaper changes its layout? Does the thought of rearranging your furniture cause you to break out in hives?

Sometimes, an aversion to change can keep one from taking the steps necessary to improve his or her life. He slips into a comfortable rut and stays there“even if he craves something better.

Improvement requires change. If we expect to make strides toward achieving our dreams, we must make changes.

So what changes do you need to make in your quest for improvement? Need you learn new skills? Need you start a new venture? Need you patch up some relationship?

I encourage you to evaluate your habits, your ruts, and your dreams. How aligned are they? To reach your dreams, what changes must you make to your habits?

Now, while I truly love change, I have some unbendable principles. I will never sacrifice my marriage in my quest for achievement. While I love change I have never grown tired of my beautiful wife“even after 32 years of marriage. My family must only benefit from my activities. I will never betray the teachings of my faith for business success. And I will never attain advancement by stepping on the backs of others.

I truly love change and improvement. But I have an alignment in my life that I will never sacrifice. My marriage, my family, and my faith mean more to me than any worldly achievement.

What unbendable principles have you formed? Never betray them. Self-improvement requires change“so does happiness. But happiness also requires a firm adherence to personal principles.

May you find your unchangeable principles and your habits that need changing. Achievement, success, and happiness will follow.

- by David DeFord

THE HIGHWAY TO SUCCESS IS A TOLL ROAD

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Success cannot be coaxed or bribed. It's the offspring of drudgery and perserverance. Pay the price for success and it's yours.

This world is run with far too tight a rein for luck to interfere. Fortune sells her wares, she never gives them. In one form or other, you pay for her favors or you go away empty.

Everything you want in life has a price connected to it. There's a price to pay if you want to make things better, a price to pay for just leaving things as they are,
a price for everything.

Nature cannot be tricked or cheated. She'll give up to you the object of your struggles only after you have paid her price.

There is no victory at bargain basement prices.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Friday, February 11, 2005

Distinctive Beauty

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Embracing Your Physical Individuality

The mirror can be a friend and the mirror can be a foe. Few people are willing to accept that their physical individuality is something amazing rather than something to be ashamed of. But like the individual beauty of a single flower placed in a bouquet, each of us, no matter what we look like, contributes to the beauty of humanity and enhances the world.

Though society often emphasizes physical conformity, regardless of what your height or weight may be, you have legs that carry you, arms that hug, lips with which to kiss, and eyes that express a range of emotions. Your body is your perfect home and the ultimate expression of your inner beauty, and is naturally and individual as your personality. You may see your body as a collection of flaws, but more often than not, it is the so-called flaw that provides the counterpoint that creates a vision of beauty. The old adage is true: If we all looked alike, then much of the appeal of the visual world would be lost. For a variety of reasons, mainstream culture asks us to view our physical selves negatively and with a strict eye toward improvement. But in confronting assumptions about our bodies as well as how those assumptions were shaped over time, it becomes possible to accept that true beauty is more than a shape, a size, a color, or a standard. It is when we stop comparing ourselves to others that we can recognize the true miracle which is the beauty of each and every human body as a whole, without reverting to any erroneous ideal.

The briefest glance through a crowd reveals a wondrous variety of real people. William Shakespeare wrote: “The boughs of no two trees ever have the same arrangement. Nature always produces individuals.” The physical presence of each person on earth fills a unique void and adds a complexity that would be lacking were we all copies spilled from a single mold. With this in mind, take another look in the mirror and make the effort to love what you see.

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The ABC's of Celebrating Love!

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- Larry James

To be a special Valentine to your partner takes lots of energy, time, attention and Love. Let's all give some thought about who we are being in our relationship, what we can do to make them better and who we will have to become to have them be healthy and successful. Let's make EVERYDAY Valentine's Day for our partner.

Let's begin with the premise that relationships are something that must be worked on all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed!

Here are a few ideas to get you started!

A

Absolutely amaze your partner with adoration. Let them know in very special ways that you care. Exercise extravagant respect and devotion toward your lover. Accept them for who they are. Demonstrate your warm attachment and affection to them. Avoid taking your partner for granted.

B

Believe in your instincts. Be spontaneous. Don't plan. . . just do something that you've wanted to do with your partner for a long time. Let your love occur naturally. Stop and pick a roadside flower and present it to your partner.

C

Cuddle. Lie close and be cozy. Do spoons! Just hold each other. There is a very special healing power in a close, warm embrace. C is also for "considerate."

D

Discover new ways of expressing your love for each other. Hire a skywriter. Put a message up on a billboard. Buy a radio commercial to say I love you. Record a special message on a cassette.

E

Entice your lover to try a new way of making love. Always making love the same way can bring on boredom. Focus on pleasure. Enjoy each other to the fullest. Read, Red Hot LoveNotes for Lovers.

F

Flirt for fun and frivolity. Be creative in your flirting. Pretend you are together for the first time or that you are trying to pick up your lover.

G

Gaze into each other's eyes with a steady intention to say, "I love you" without words. Smile. Notice the eye color. Say something nice about them. Be generous with your love.

H

Have a private party for just the two of you. Candles, music, the works. Talk. Listen. Express your love for one another.

I

Indulge each other's desires. Write your secret desires on pieces of paper and trade. You may be surprised.

J

Joke and have fun together. Lighten up. Be joyous. Release your sense of humor. Have fun with love.

K

Kissy. . . kissy. . . kissy! Quick pecks on the cheek don't work. Give your partner an unexpected, looooooong, juicy kiss. Be keen on kissing!

L

Love with all your heart and soul. Always remember to speak, "I love you" at least once each day. Express love in new and exciting ways. Remember to love yourself and do nice things for you too.

M

Massage away the day's tension and stress. Begin with the feet and work up. Surprise your lover with your magic fingers or tantalizing tongue. Buy some special massage oil; something that smells good.

N

Nurture your need for nibbling. Nibble each other's earlobes or other parts of the body that feels good. Practice a soft, light, romantic nibble with your lover. Nibbling feels good.

O

Offer breakfast in bed or some other surprise your lover might like. Be creative. Plan. Make it very special.

P

Pretend you are long-lost, passionate lovers. Use your imagination. Think! What could you do that you haven't done for a long time? Do that.

Q

Quote your lover a love poem or a special passage from a book or greeting card that expresses exactly how you feel.

R

Remember the little things. Respect your partner by paying attention. Be aware when your partner's likes and dislikes. Notice what makes them happy and deliver more of that.

S

Slow dance by candlelight or in the backyard in the moonlight. Get back to romance. Be sensitive to the romantic needs of your lover. Romantically impaired? Read, 1001 Ways to Be Romantic.

T

Try a little tenderness. Be gentle. Practice the "soft touch." Go slow. Be intentional.

U

Uncover your deepest feelings. Speak them or write them to your lover. Communicate them unwaveringly. Let your emotions express themselves with sensitivity, understanding and love.

V

Vow your eternal love for each other. Renew your vows. Make some new ones. Look up the word "vow" in the dictionary. Live by your solemn promises.

W

Watch a sunrise or sunset together. Bring a picnic basket with snacks and your favorite beverage. Let the warmth you feel for your partner be felt.

X

X-plore your romantic dreams. Daydream about this one. Think. X-cellerate. Don't wait. Do something X-citing together; something you said you would do in the past, but you both have been putting off or making X-cuses about.

Y

Yearn for each other's touch. Don't hold back. A hug-a-day pays dividends beyond your wildest imaginings. AND. . . it feels good to be touched by the one you love.

Z

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz in each other's arms. Zero in on being close. Touching feels good. Enhance your enjoyment by listening to your partner's breathing cycle and to their heartbeat. Inhale and exhale together. Become as one.

Now I can say my A-B-C's!

Copyright © 2005 - Larry James. Reprinted with permission. - This article is adapted from Larry's book, "LoveNotes for Lovers: Words That Make Music for Two Hearts Dancing!" Author Larry James presents seminars nationally for singles and couples. LarryJames@CelebrateLove.com - www.CelebrateLove.com

PERSONAL GROWTH IS INEVITABLE

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You'll experience personal growth on the road to success. All growth means change and change involves risk. You grow because you struggle,learn and overcome your obstacles.

What happens to you is not as important as how you react to what happens.
Everything you'll experience "good or bad" has value.

Difficulties in life are the things that show you what you are. Trouble is the common denominator of living. It's the great equalizer of life.

Only when you are no longer afraid will you begin to live.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Strutting In The New Year

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Year Of The Rooster

Each morning, the rooster announces the arrival of a new day with a wake up call for all the world to hear. With unabashed confidence, he knows that the day begins with him. This year begins with the rooster as well. For in accordance to the Lunar calendar, it is 4705, The Year Of The Rooster.

The year of the rooster emphasizes hard work, resourcefulness, and courage. The rooster rules the roost with a straight forward, no nonsense approach to life. It's a huge responsibility to wake up the world and govern over the hen house. This is a year of practicality, a time to get down to business. And the rooster does it all with a sense of style, for he is a proud, stunning creature with a tendency to strut his stuff.

In the spirit of the rooster, this is a good year to become self-reliant, get organized, and stay focused. We would do well to take an honest look at ourselves and what we want out of life and then to go after our dreams with the confidence and aggressiveness of a rooster.

The rooster goes directly for the truth, scratching below the surface. While it is good to be open and frank, brutal honesty can be hurtful. It's important to avoid being too blunt with careless clucking and be careful with the claws.

Like the rooster, we may find ourselves preening and strutting at times. We may be taking a few more peeks in the mirror this year. It's good to give into vanity now and then, as a reminder to take pride in our appearance and how the world views us. It's also a time to enjoy popularity, even adoration, just like the rooster enjoys being appreciated by the hens in chicken coop. At the same time, with the rooster's tendency towards pride and conceit, we need to be mindful of keeping the ego in check.

The rooster likes to stay close to the roost. He is loyal to his hens and does not wander far from home. He is also a stickler for order and rules. This year we may find a new appreciation and respect for the home, family, and loved ones.

For more information visit Chinapage.com

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What Is Your Biggest Fear - Speaking, Rejection or Failing?

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– By Jeffrey Gitomer

It is said that speaking in public is a bigger fear than death. I don't buy it. I think if someone put a gun to your head and said speak in public or die -- you'd find that lost William Jennings Bryan oration within you.

By far the biggest fear of salespeople is fear of failure. It has a cousin -- fear of rejection. Rejection is the pathway to failure -- if you fear it. While failure itself is real, the fear of it is a condition of the mind.

Earl Nightingale's legendary tape "The Strangest Secret" says, "You become what you think about." If that's true, why doesn't everyone think "success?" The answer is a combination of what we expose ourselves to, and how we condition ourselves.

We live in a world of negative conditioning. The three big motivators are fear, greed and vanity. They drive the American sales process -- and they drive the American salesperson.

Our society preys on the fear factor. It's in 50% of the ads we see (the rest are greed or vanity). Ads about life insurance for death and disability, credit cards stolen, anti-freeze for stalled cars, tires that grip the road in the rain, brakes that stop to avoid hitting a child on a bike, and security systems so your home won't be robbed. You see that crap enough; you become "fear-conditioned."

We are constantly reminded to carry mace, get a burglar alarm, and be sure we have The Club. To make matters worse we now see police at ATM machines, metal detectors in schools, and can rely on the local news to promulgate the trend. They are dedicated to promote issues of fear every minute they're on the air.

Once society gives you fear it's natural that you take it with you into the workplace. It transmutes into a fear of failure. This fear intensifies in workplaces with hostile environments—bosses and managers who threaten, intimidate and ridicule.

In the midst of this we struggle for success. And while we think we fear failure, or at least don't want it around us -- we all face it in one form or another every day. Everyone fails. But, failure is relative. Its measurement is subjective. Mostly it occurs in your mind. If you exchange "I failed" for "I learned what never to do again," it's a completely different mindset. The status of failure is up to you.

Over the years of my failures, I have developed a great way of looking at it (lots of practice). I learn from it, or I ignore it.

Thomas Edison - failed 6,000 times before the light bulb, Donald Trump had monumental failures on his way to the top, Mike Schmidt - third baseman for the Philadelphia Phillies, failed at the plate (at bat) two out of three times for 20 years, and was inducted into baseball's hall of fame as one of the greatest ball players of all time. Were these men failures? Did they fear failure?

There are degrees of failure in sales. Here are some external ones:

. Failure to prepare
. Failure to make contacts
. Failure to make a sale
. Failure to meet a quota
. Failure to keep a job

External (outside) fears, lead to internal (inside) fears -- fear based on what happens when you fail or are close to failing. Your reaction to internal fear determines your fate. It's not what happens to you, it's what you do with what happens to you. Here are the five typical reactions to rejection or failure:

1. Curse it.
2. Deny it (a nice way of saying lie about it).
3. Avoid it.
4. Make an excuse about it.
5. Blame others (the easiest thing to do).
6. Quit.

Failure actually only occurs when you decide to quit. You choose your results. Here are a few simple things you can do to avoid getting to the "quit" stage:

. Look at failure is an event not a person.
. Look for the why, and find the solution (If you look at "no" hard enough, it will lead you to yes).
. List possible opportunities.
. Ask yourself what have I learned, and try again.
. Don't mope around with other failures -- go find a successful person, and hang around him.

Here are a few complicated things you can do to avoid getting to the "I quit" stage:

. Create a new environment.
. Cultivate new associations.
. Access new information.
. Get a new mind set -- create new background thoughts.

It's always too soon to quit.

Afraid to speak, or afraid to fail? Which is the greater fear? When you consider the complications and ramifications of failure, making a speech to 1,000 people, by comparison, is a walk in the park.

About the Author:

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Knock Your Socks off Selling and Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless. To order Jeffrey's many books and/or CDs and videos, go to http://www.yoursuccessstore.com or call 877-929-0439. Also go to http://www.gitomer.com to sign up for his free weekly newsletter Sales Caffeine. (c) 1999, 2004 All Rights Reserved - Don't even think about reproducing this document without written permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer 704/333-1112.

YOUR LIFE WILL RESPOND TO YOUR OUTLOOK

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The dreams you choose to believe in come to be. When you feel in your innermost being that you will achieve what you set out to do, you open the way for miracles.

Choose to believe something good can happen. Expecting it to happen energizes your goal and actually gives it momentum. What you expect to happen, happens.

If you expect to succeed, you'll succeed

©2005 by Max Steingart

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Striving For Human Perfection

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Dahn Yoga

We are all connected to the universal life energy that is Ki, or some know as Chi. We want to encourage Ki to flow freely throughout our body, mind, and spirit to promote physical, mental, and emotional healing, and to connect us to our spiritual selves. Dahn Yoga, based on the Korean healing tradition of Dahnhak, is yoga plus Ki training.

Through deep stretching, calisthenics, breathing techniques, and meditation, Dhan Yoga encourages flexibility and strength and helps to rebuild the meridian system that allows Ki to flow freely. Every muscle, tendon, joint, organ, and gland receives fresh oxygenated blood, balancing the flow of energy throughout the body.

Dahnhak teaches body relaxation and the discovery of inner consciousness. Free from stress and anxiety, physical conditions improve and concentration is enhanced. Through meditative breath work, energy meditation, and dynamic meditation, Ki energy is accumulated in the lower abdominal area. Such exercises support the functioning of internal organs and the elimination of toxins from the body. Feeling better physically leads to self-confidence and positive thinking.

Awakening the energy spot in the chest results in joy and peace. Misalignments in the body structure may spontaneously be corrected and interpersonal relationships improve. A new self image may realize a release from addictive behaviors.

As all meridian channels open, the connection to universal Ki is complete and the mystery of life unfolds. Creativity blossoms and unconditional love is experienced. Through the integration of body and mind, potential is realized and goals are reached. And, with the realization that we are all one, physical, mental and spiritual powers are used to benefit humankind.

Dahnhak strives for human perfection; that is the release of the illusion of ego and the realization of the authentic self. It is the realization of the oneness of existence and the ability to live in harmony through the unification of heaven, earth, and humanity. Ki is everywhere and we are all connected. Dahn Yoga strives to allow the realization of that connection.

For more information visit Dahnworld.com

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