A concept I have used for years that has both impacted my life and paved way to changing altered negative states is applying this strategy called the 5 A's. Needless to say, I have worked it to perfection. It is based on how we treat ourselves and others daily. They act as daily guidelines to remind me to encourage myself and others in a positive way. Applying and incorporating this concept into your daily life will teach you how to value the beauty in you as well as others.
Today I CHALLENGE ALL OF YOU to attempt these 5 A's for a 7 full days -- at least as a start! Correspond here with your daily results, struggles, findings etc. and let this be the gateway to "BEING" the change we want to see and feel around us! We can learn things about ourselves and others through applying these daily 5'As, so challenge yourself as I challenge myself.
Attention: to ourselves and to others
Acceptance: to ourselves and to others
Appreciation: to ourselves and to others
Affection: to ourselves and to others
Allowing: to ourselves and to others
In order to fully receive others feelings and have them be comfortable with their emotions we must have all these aspects present in all our relationships and interactions daily, coming from us! NOT the other person, from us! How we choose to react will in turn transcend it self onto others. We must let go of our mindsets of ego, fear, control, attachment, judgments, complaints, contempt, blame or criticisms and stop feeling we have to prove ourselves to each other.
IF we have these mindsets, how could you possible let another into your life or how could they let you into their life, even if it is for a brief moment? How could we not want to change another or change who we are if we carry these mindsets? So let go of your egos, fears, complaints, alternative blame, bitterness!
REMEMBER soon as we throw in the factor of changing who we are or changing someone around us --none of us are just being with each other or being with us alone, we are now "pretending" to be us and to others! Intimacy with another means support given to us and to others for all the good and the bad we see or believe! In my experience soon as you try to prove the opposite of what someone feels you are or what someone else feels, you doubt yourself and who you are. Taking away the biggest lesson we need to learn, "owning who we are!" So I challenge you to stop doubting who you are!
-------HOW DO YOU APPLY THE 5 A's ------
1- Wake up each morning and go through the check-list of these 5 A's.
Look around you and find something for you to APPRECIATE in your life now, at this moment. Each day find a new appreciation and hang onto that "one" appreciation all day, use it as a source of something to lift you if you feel beaten for a even a moment! Telling yourself, it is okay because I have this at the end of the day to be proud of. Do not cloud your thoughts with more then "one" aspect to appreciate. You want to start with only this one aspect of appreciation.
2- Give yourself what you need today! Take ATTENTION for yourself this new, beautiful morning. For me it is simply to have vanilla cream to put in my coffee. This simple vanilla cream each morning sets the stage of not forgetting what it is I need to make me happy to start my day. So I give it myself!
3- Give yourself AFFECTION this morning. Remind yourself to do it throughout the day. Do not depend on others to give you affection, depend on yourself to make you feel good. Sometimes it is simply to stay in bed for an extra 5 minutes before I begin the hustle & bustle of my day...giving myself extra time and setting the terms for me to guide. Sometimes it giving myself something to make me feel good, like a manicure or buying a gift for me, from me! Just show yourself personal affection.
4- ACCEPT you are an amazing person as you carry yourself through the morning and no matter what happens today you are still amazing! Accept you have something to offer to each person today because you are an interesting person, because you are amazing regardless of what you have done in the past -- you are amazing today! Nothing can get in your way or bring you down because you ACCEPT you are amazing and nobody can take that away from you!
5- ALLOW yourself to be you today. Be free to show who you are and what you are feeling today. If you do not feel like putting on make-up then don't do it. If you do not feel like going to dinner with a friend because your tired then say it. Be all you are, the silly, the strange eccentricities that make you, you! Speak from your heart, for yourself speak your heart. This is the one aspect that allows you to be you. You can own in being you. Dress to impress you, not others! Just be you and do not be afraid to ALLOW yourself to be the person YOU want to be -- because you already know your an amazing person, for you ACCEPTED IT today already!
Sometimes when I wake up and I feel bland, unmotivated I put on a song that gives me energy to be me and let loose. I take those extra 5/10 minutes and dance around the house, sing on the top of my lungs...give myself the attention I NEED to make me fee good! Whenever I feel this lack of motivation again during my day, I sing the song in my head, remember this wonderful feeling I had this morning and let it travel through my being. I tell myself, its okay...days not over, let's start again with this good feeling renewed.
----NOW FOR OTHERS ----
1- To apply the 5A's to people you meet you need to use them all together as one unique meaning. Attention, Appreciation, Acceptance, Affection and Allowing.
You need put aside judgment of others. You need to APPRECIATE people and ACCEPT them for who they are regardless of their own eccentricities, silliness, behaviors or styles. You need to ALLOW yourself to show ATTENTION to others -- even when it deems hard to do so. You need to show people AFFECTION regardless of what you feel inside or the bitterness you may feel at "any" given moment because your affection to them, will actually bounce back and give you the affection you need in return for your ACKNOWLEDGMENT. It becomes a dual reward!!!!
2- EVERY person you meet today, give them a smile and a compliment. Put aside what they look like, who they are in your life, superior or not. Put aside what you think they are, what their race is, their clothing is, there hair looks like, their verbal bark, their angry presentation, what age they are. A child bend down and ask them their name. And please REMEMBER to NOT care about what they think, because you ACCEPT you are an amazing person no matter what happens today!!!
****Each person you meet has a thought at the moment of interaction or presence. Sadly, normally it is a negative thought. You want to change that thought into something positive. You create the reflection, be the change you want around you!!!
A simple smile and a compliment together or separate will do this! Sometimes just being noticed by a person makes another feel good inside. A compliment will have them thinking of it all day long because you gave it to them, especially for they do not know you! If you often feel you are not noticed, make yourself noticed. Make people see and realize it does not matter who or what you look like...there is good underneath appearances and judgments. Give that to yourself because you deserve to give it to yourself! Give it to others as this will alter their mindset for a period of time and the next person they meet, they might just give them the smile or compliment they need. ****
Good luck on Challenging youself as I do today. Do it for 7 days, then extend it to another 7 days etc. Share your results, your situations and give everyone here the encouragment they need to follow through these 7 days.
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