Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Gains In Losses

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Making Space For Change

We want certain things to change in our lives, but we fear changes that we don't want. Sometimes we fear changes that we do want, because the familiar is more comfortable than the visionary, and because life is a three-dimensional, interconnected puzzle; if you change one thing, everything else shifts, too, often in unpredictable ways. We may stay in a relationship or a work situation that is not exactly right for us out of fear of losing what we like about it. And yet, if we do hold on, we will never create space for what we truly want to enter. There is an inescapable connection between getting what we want and losing what we have, and this fact can keep us in a holding pattern.

It helps to remember that, regardless of our conscious intent, life is by its nature a series of gains and losses. Change is the rule. For example, as we grow older, we lose our youth, but we gain experience and wisdom. When we enter into a relationship, we lose a certain degree of freedom, but we gain intimacy and connection. If we focus too much on what we are losing, and fail to celebrate the growth and opportunity that change brings, we run the risk of missing out on our lives as they are happening. Balance entails a bittersweet combination of honoring and releasing the old and welcoming the new with open hands.

Once we acknowledge that getting what we want means letting go of certain things we're attached to, we can move forward more consciously. Allow yourself the time and space to honor your life as it is before you initiate changes. When you decide to let someone or something go, or vice versa, consciously recognize the passing. Facing the losses in our lives head-on, allowing ourselves to feel the difficult emotions loss inspires, ultimately empowers us and frees us to fully embrace the new.

The more we practice accepting loss, letting go, and releasing, the better we will get. And the more we align ourselves with the natural energies of change, the more we can consciously harness that energy to work magic in our lives.

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