– By Gwen Jewett ***
"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, 'I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway.' – Maya Angelou
Once in a while, life or career changes will just pull the rug right out from underneath you, even when you think you are glued down and wrapped up tightly. How do you find peace when life pulls a fast one?
You may be contemplating a huge career move, facing empty nest or divorce, or you may simply be overwhelmed by all of the things you wish you could do but can't because there is only one of you. I have a few suggestions for you:
First, take a deep breath. Literally, inhale deeply, then exhale deeply, right now. Do it as many times slowly as you need until you feel your heart rate slow down and your muscles begin to relax.
Accept that what is, is. Trying to deny circumstances only increases your anxiety. By facing what is really going on, you can begin to take steps to correct it. I once saw a victim of Hurricane Katrina on a television news program who said he had cried for two days about his loss and was all cried out. Now, he said, he was going to move forward and make decisions about today. So take a lesson from him; mourn your loss in the way that will help you release it, then look to the future and take action to make it brighter.
Talk. Enlist the help of friends, trusted colleagues, a coach, family, or whoever will listen and support you. Sometimes when you're confronting a tough change, the last thing you want to do is talk. But talking can be one of the most healing things you can do. Find someone you trust and tell them, "I'm going through a tough time right now and would like to talk with someone for a little while. I'm not looking for advice or a quick fix for the situation, just an objective listener. Would you mind being that person?"
Let nature refresh you. One of the things I enjoy most and that gives me the most immediate peace is to be outside feeling the wind blow. The windier, the better! Nature doesn't always provide that, but being outdoors, away from phones, handheld devices, and television and absorbing sunshine, clouds, fresh air, and whatever else nature provides that day will unfailingly get your mind off of whatever troubles may be with you, at least in that moment. Go for a walk, run through a field, ride a bike, or just sit in a lawn chair. The change in environment will shift your perspective and let you see things more objectively.
Laugh! It may seem like the last thing you can make yourself do, but laughing has been proven to offer all kinds of physical benefits. Spend time with a friend who always has a great sense of humor, rent a funny movie, or just see some humor in your circumstances. I remember when my grandfather was in a nursing home near the end of his life. It was not a bright situation, but what did he do? He made up humorous nicknames for the staff and the other residents (none were disrespectful). I was a child at the time, but to this day I remember some of those names and still laugh out loud, thinking of my sweet grandfather making the best of a hard situation.
Work with your hands. If your hands are busy, your mind won't have to be. It can be anything -- cooking, building something, painting, sewing, repairing something, etc. Occupying your hands will free your mind of its clutter, if even for a little while. Over time these mini mind-breaks will allow your energy to rebuild!
Remember that if you are overwhelmed, don't just wait it out and hope it will get better. The most important things you can do are to practice good self-care and get help where you need it.
About the Author:
Gwen Jewett was Executive Director of a national healthcare association for 14
years and is now a full-time Life and Career Coach. You can learn more about her
at her website, http://www.coachgwen.com
Check out the Experts page for Gwen Jewett, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to
Career Coach and Career Coaching: http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/gwen_jewett.html
"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, 'I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway.' – Maya Angelou
Once in a while, life or career changes will just pull the rug right out from underneath you, even when you think you are glued down and wrapped up tightly. How do you find peace when life pulls a fast one?
You may be contemplating a huge career move, facing empty nest or divorce, or you may simply be overwhelmed by all of the things you wish you could do but can't because there is only one of you. I have a few suggestions for you:
First, take a deep breath. Literally, inhale deeply, then exhale deeply, right now. Do it as many times slowly as you need until you feel your heart rate slow down and your muscles begin to relax.
Accept that what is, is. Trying to deny circumstances only increases your anxiety. By facing what is really going on, you can begin to take steps to correct it. I once saw a victim of Hurricane Katrina on a television news program who said he had cried for two days about his loss and was all cried out. Now, he said, he was going to move forward and make decisions about today. So take a lesson from him; mourn your loss in the way that will help you release it, then look to the future and take action to make it brighter.
Talk. Enlist the help of friends, trusted colleagues, a coach, family, or whoever will listen and support you. Sometimes when you're confronting a tough change, the last thing you want to do is talk. But talking can be one of the most healing things you can do. Find someone you trust and tell them, "I'm going through a tough time right now and would like to talk with someone for a little while. I'm not looking for advice or a quick fix for the situation, just an objective listener. Would you mind being that person?"
Let nature refresh you. One of the things I enjoy most and that gives me the most immediate peace is to be outside feeling the wind blow. The windier, the better! Nature doesn't always provide that, but being outdoors, away from phones, handheld devices, and television and absorbing sunshine, clouds, fresh air, and whatever else nature provides that day will unfailingly get your mind off of whatever troubles may be with you, at least in that moment. Go for a walk, run through a field, ride a bike, or just sit in a lawn chair. The change in environment will shift your perspective and let you see things more objectively.
Laugh! It may seem like the last thing you can make yourself do, but laughing has been proven to offer all kinds of physical benefits. Spend time with a friend who always has a great sense of humor, rent a funny movie, or just see some humor in your circumstances. I remember when my grandfather was in a nursing home near the end of his life. It was not a bright situation, but what did he do? He made up humorous nicknames for the staff and the other residents (none were disrespectful). I was a child at the time, but to this day I remember some of those names and still laugh out loud, thinking of my sweet grandfather making the best of a hard situation.
Work with your hands. If your hands are busy, your mind won't have to be. It can be anything -- cooking, building something, painting, sewing, repairing something, etc. Occupying your hands will free your mind of its clutter, if even for a little while. Over time these mini mind-breaks will allow your energy to rebuild!
Remember that if you are overwhelmed, don't just wait it out and hope it will get better. The most important things you can do are to practice good self-care and get help where you need it.
About the Author:
Gwen Jewett was Executive Director of a national healthcare association for 14
years and is now a full-time Life and Career Coach. You can learn more about her
at her website, http://www.coachgwen.com
Check out the Experts page for Gwen Jewett, the Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to
Career Coach and Career Coaching: http://www.selfgrowth.com/experts/gwen_jewett.html
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