F.E.A.R. as defined by many personal development gurus (the revered and even the self-proclaimed) is defined as False Evidence Appearing Real. To close big deals, and large clients, especially in turbulent or uncertain times is all about taking the F.E.A.R out of saying yes.
Often the prospect has a dozen good reasons why they should do business with you, they even admit it, but still no deal. There’s a hesitance, a pause, then more questions, a couple stalls and more meetings hesitations and stalls. What are they afraid of? Often it’s an undefined sense of uncertainty. It’s emotional intuitive issue, they don’t trust us, or they don’t trust a number of factors that influence their business that are related to the transaction.
“Sales is about creating an environment where an act of faith can take place.”
This act of faith us based upon trust and credibility. Trust is in my opinion the number one sales currency. Too many people think it’s a product, a pitch, a better deal, or a nice suit. These things are important, but all will fall short without trust.
Recently I surveyed a number of senior investment advisors with one of Canada’s largest brokerage firms and asked them a very straightforward and open-ended question; “What does is take to move a big client (along with their with money) from a competitor to your firm?”
Every single one of them, without exception, said “the relationship.” This relationship was built upon a series of trust building interactions, very few of which were related directly to immediate gains in stock picks or better brochures than the competitors. They described knowing the client personally through lunches, dinners, inviting them the VIP events and being very accessible and transparent in their dealings with them.
I asked “what about your great research, your name in the press, the brand, and of course your track record?” The response: “That will get them to open their account with you and allow you to send them the odd e-mail or prospectus.” To move a large lump sum of money for you to manage they told me “you need trust, a real relationship based upon it.”
I recently landed a fortune 50 client. I knew I was up against bigger competitors. After the RFP and final presentation was done I got the news. The deal was mine. When I asked the Senior VP of Sales for this company why I got the deal his answer was little surprising. He said “I don’t know, the other guys are well branded, they said the right things, but you just made us feel comfortable, you were open with us, I felt that our team would relate well to you.” Relate well? I thought. What about the results I’ve landed for other clients? Our great training modules? Our experience in their sector? Comfortable? They bought comfortable!? What kind if competitive advantage is that?!
What my broker clients and I experienced is the same thing.
Our value proposition, our branding, our stats and track record opened the door for us. To close the deal, and grow the client it was our ability to establish trust that was the deciding factor.
What is trust? Trust from a prospects perspective, is a sense of comfort, a belief that we’ll do what we say we’ll do regardless of a contract or what we’re obligated to do. Seems simple, but so many people today feign concern but don’t deliver. The truly empathetic sales person that is grounded and transparent has a huge advantage in the marketplace. Trustworthiness is a rare commodity, if we focus delivering it as out core value proposition we can lock clients in for a lifetime.
So how do we establish it? Here’s some quick concluding thoughts on the topic:
#1) Know your product and service capabilities, all of it’s applications and all of it’s limitations. Close deals that fit and be willing to walk away or refer them to someone else. Basically take on clients you know you can hit a home run with.
#2) Keep even the smallest commitment always, Even things like being on time are unspoken and implied commitments. If we can’t be trusted with minor details how can we be trusted with business critical issues?
#3) Never talk about other clients to prospects, unless you let them know that you have pre-approval. They’ll enjoy the story but then later wonder what you’ll say about them.
#5) Manage their expectations up front. Let them know what to expect, even in regards to product and service limitations. Our clients are grown-ups, they know there’s no perfect product or service and they’ll appreciate our candor.
#6) Have conversations that are broader and deeper than our competitors are capable of having. Do this by educating ourselves more, researching more, assuming nothing, and customizing every interaction with the client.
#7) This final point is by far the most critical. Be good at establishing genuine rapport. This happens by being totally aware, present and functional and having a highly developed capacity for listening and asking great questions. People will sense our level of empathy and sincerity more from the questions we ask then the stories that we tell.
About the Author:
Shane Gibson is President of Knowledge Brokers International and author of Closing Bigger the Field Guide to Closing Bigger Deals. With 14 years as a professional speaker Shane is in high demand as a conference speaker and a sales training and sales performance specialist. KBI’s clients include organizations such as BMW, Siemens, Ford, Vodacom, the Vancouver Board of Trade and dozens of professional associations and corporations in Canada, USA, South Africa, South America and the Middle East.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
3 Top Tips For Creating A Memorable Unique Selling Proposition - By Barbara K. Giamanco **
You've been there. At a networking function someone asks you what your company does, and you freeze like a deer in the headlights. You haven't thought it through so what might roll off your tongue is a lengthy speech that says absolutely nothing. Worse yet, you might default to spitting out a feature/benefit dump that also does nothing, except perhaps turn off your potential client! Later, you cringe at the memory and beat yourself up for not doing better.
Learn to tell your story.
The art of great storytelling has existed for thousands of years and recently it's been gaining in popularity in the business world. In "Made to Stick" , authors Chip and Dan Heath talk about creating stories and messages that are "sticky". There is a lot of competition for the average person's attention these days, so what you do must stand out.
Mike Wittenstein of "Storyminers" takes the concept of a unique selling proposition and recommends presenting what you offer as a story. The best experiences we have are when we are hooked by the story, he says. It's that way for your customers and prospects also.
It starts with understanding your uniqueness, the value of what YOU offer to others. Here are 3 tips for building a strong unique selling proposition:
Know why people buy the type of product or service you offer.
Surprisingly a lot of people just don't think this through. You may be one of them. Remember, a great USP showcases your uniqueness and tells people what's in it for them if they buy from you. It focuses on results, not on product features or business processes.
You've got to do your homework! Do some digging to really uncover what's different about you and what you have to offer. Do you know how people describe you to others? What do you want to be known for? What do your current clients like about working with you? Why do people buy what you have to offer? Why will they choose you over some other company? Dig for the answers and you might be surprised by what you discover!
Mine the gaps between your business and your competition.
Unless you make a widget that no one else makes, you HAVE competition. To know your competition, you've got to study them. Check out their website. Study their ads. Find out how they promote themselves. Look for things you offer that they do not. Find out why people buy from them. Ask a prospect who may be using a service similar to what you offer, what they wish their current provider would offer. Use every opportunity to gather information by asking questions. When you understand the gap, creating your USP becomes much easier.
Fill the void.
In every industry there is a business need going unresolved. You have to discover what that is and meet the need or "fix the pain", as professional coaches and trainers say. The void for your prospects may be caused by lack of time, competing priorities, lack of balance in their lives or a myriad of other issues. Whatever it is, find that void and then talk about how your product or service fills the gap. Read blogs, ask your clients what challenges they face or what they believe are the obstacles down the road, watch for trends in business publications, look at what isn't being offered, but whatever you do, be sure to conduct thoroughresearch before assuming that what you plan to offer is something people want.
Regardless of who you are - CEO, Coach, Consultant, Sales Professional - you have products and services that you need to tell people about in ways that engage them and entice them to buy from you. Remember that being able to tell your story -- to articulate your unique sales proposition quickly, effortlessly and with conviction will help you sell more, more often!
About the Author:
Talent Builders CEO Barbara Giamanco capped a corporate sales career at Microsoft, where she led and trained sales teams and coached sales executives, before establishing Talent Builders, Inc. in 2002. She has more than 25 years of experience in selling to enterprise, mid-market and retail accounts and knows what it’s like to walk in the shoes of the sales person. During her career, her accounts have included American Express Worldwide, Motorola, Best Buy, Circuit City, Anheuser-Busch, Target, and Honeywell. Visit us on the web at www.talentbuildersinc.com
Learn to tell your story.
The art of great storytelling has existed for thousands of years and recently it's been gaining in popularity in the business world. In "Made to Stick" , authors Chip and Dan Heath talk about creating stories and messages that are "sticky". There is a lot of competition for the average person's attention these days, so what you do must stand out.
Mike Wittenstein of "Storyminers" takes the concept of a unique selling proposition and recommends presenting what you offer as a story. The best experiences we have are when we are hooked by the story, he says. It's that way for your customers and prospects also.
It starts with understanding your uniqueness, the value of what YOU offer to others. Here are 3 tips for building a strong unique selling proposition:
Know why people buy the type of product or service you offer.
Surprisingly a lot of people just don't think this through. You may be one of them. Remember, a great USP showcases your uniqueness and tells people what's in it for them if they buy from you. It focuses on results, not on product features or business processes.
You've got to do your homework! Do some digging to really uncover what's different about you and what you have to offer. Do you know how people describe you to others? What do you want to be known for? What do your current clients like about working with you? Why do people buy what you have to offer? Why will they choose you over some other company? Dig for the answers and you might be surprised by what you discover!
Mine the gaps between your business and your competition.
Unless you make a widget that no one else makes, you HAVE competition. To know your competition, you've got to study them. Check out their website. Study their ads. Find out how they promote themselves. Look for things you offer that they do not. Find out why people buy from them. Ask a prospect who may be using a service similar to what you offer, what they wish their current provider would offer. Use every opportunity to gather information by asking questions. When you understand the gap, creating your USP becomes much easier.
Fill the void.
In every industry there is a business need going unresolved. You have to discover what that is and meet the need or "fix the pain", as professional coaches and trainers say. The void for your prospects may be caused by lack of time, competing priorities, lack of balance in their lives or a myriad of other issues. Whatever it is, find that void and then talk about how your product or service fills the gap. Read blogs, ask your clients what challenges they face or what they believe are the obstacles down the road, watch for trends in business publications, look at what isn't being offered, but whatever you do, be sure to conduct thoroughresearch before assuming that what you plan to offer is something people want.
Regardless of who you are - CEO, Coach, Consultant, Sales Professional - you have products and services that you need to tell people about in ways that engage them and entice them to buy from you. Remember that being able to tell your story -- to articulate your unique sales proposition quickly, effortlessly and with conviction will help you sell more, more often!
About the Author:
Talent Builders CEO Barbara Giamanco capped a corporate sales career at Microsoft, where she led and trained sales teams and coached sales executives, before establishing Talent Builders, Inc. in 2002. She has more than 25 years of experience in selling to enterprise, mid-market and retail accounts and knows what it’s like to walk in the shoes of the sales person. During her career, her accounts have included American Express Worldwide, Motorola, Best Buy, Circuit City, Anheuser-Busch, Target, and Honeywell. Visit us on the web at www.talentbuildersinc.com
Monday, June 09, 2008
Break Through the Illusion of Limitation - By Guy Finley
Here's a strange paradox of the upward path that runs through Real Life: the more conscious we become of what limits us, the more limitless becomes our reality! So, take as long as you need to understand the following special lesson; it sheds much needed light on a certain dark state that stands between us, and the higher freedom for which we long.
The sole purpose of discouraged feelings is to keep your thoughts on what you can't do. And with your attention fixed in this fashion -- on what seems impossible -- there's no room for discovering what is possible -- for what you can do.
In other words, the only thing discouraged states do is to keep you busy doing nothing except feeling sorry for yourself...which is the perfect guarantee that your situation will remain hopelessly the same. Enough is enough! You don't have to put up with one more discouraging moment, let alone a life limited by its darkness. There's another choice you can make besides falling into those familiar feelings of being a "failure." The next few insights will empower you to start thinking about old discouragements in a new way.
Whenever we suffer over what we aren't able to do, create, or work through, where is our attention in these moments? It's riveted on our own thought-produced reality that's telling us we're stuck! Maybe you can recognize some of these heavy-hearted inner voices that come with being victimized by such dark thoughts. In one way or another, they say...
"I'll never get out of this mess."
"It's too late!"
"I'm too set in my ways to change.
"This is hopeless."
Now on the surface of things, these all-too-familiar whispers of defeat -- that speak to us with our own voice -- seem genuinely concerned about our unwanted condition. But a deeper look tells a much different story. These troubled thoughts are part of an unseen "conspiracy of limitation" taking place in our own consciousness! Follow the next four ideas to their stunning conclusion. They prove that self-illumination and self-liberation are one and the same power.
1. The more these gloomy voices talk to us, the more discouraged we feel.
2. The more discouraged we feel, the more certain we are there's no other choice but to feel that way.
3. The more convinced we are that we have no choice, the less choice we have.
4. The act of identifying with this dark inner dialogue actually produces the dead-end we fear!
And so it goes: now we're convinced of our own captivity! There's no way past the limitations we perceive as being real. The key idea here lies in the word "perceive" because it rhymes with deceive. That's just what this perception is: a secret deception. Here's the liberating proof.
There are no dead-ends in real life.
Of course you must prove this bright fact to yourself, and here's a good place to start: in any given moment there's always something higher to do with your life than sit there and suffer over what you think you can't have, do, or be. Why wallow this way when a small amount of interior work will forever change how you see reality? For instance, see that the "size" of your discouragement is directly proportionate to how strongly you insist life conform to your demands. Verifying this self-imposed limitation empowers you, immediately, to let it go and start over.
Here's another example: maybe you've felt discouraged because you wanted to learn something new -- a higher skill or a difficult lesson -- but felt sure that certain limitations of yours placed this possibility beyond your abilities. Now you can do something much higher than just resign yourself to feeling discouraged.
Instead of falling into those familiar feelings of futility over yourself, deliberately drop those discourage-filled thoughts telling you the limit of your present view is the limit of your possibilities. Who you have been matters only to those dark states that want you to remain that way so that they can continue to rule the day. Refusing to dwell in the world of discouraged thoughts and feelings is the same as opening the door to a new world without limits. Just start working with who you are now!
In other words, do what's in your power and refuse to be discouraged about anything else. Keep repeating this new action one step at a time until you've walked away from the whole false idea that there's no further you can go!
Here are three special key lessons to help you strengthen and then actualize your wish to live in a world without limits:
Any conversation you permit yourself to have with discouraging thoughts guarantees you'll wind up with a good reason for feeling discouraged.
When you know that what you're looking for is what you already are -- and not what you may become -- you stand on the threshold of the limitless life.
The universe itself is actually set up for you to succeed with realizing the limitless life, which means you are made for whatever happens to you!
*****
Adapted from Guy Finley's newest bestseller, "The Essential Laws of Fearless Living," a Red Wheel/Weiser publication. For a limited time, you can order this groundbreaking new book for a deeply discounted price, PLUS, receive over 108 free bonus items including Guy Finley's bestselling 60-minute DVD, "The Power to Never Again Feel Powerless." It's a complete life-changing package! Quantities are limited. Visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/essentiallaws.html right now to take advantage of this incredible offer.
About the Author:
Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 35 books and audio programs on the subject of self-realization, several of which have become international best sellers. His popular works, published in 17 languages, are widely endorsed by doctors, professionals, and religious leaders of all denominations.
Finley is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in Southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. Visit http://www.guyfinley.org for a wealth of free helpful information, free audio and video downloads, and to request your free Self-Improvement Starter Kit.
The sole purpose of discouraged feelings is to keep your thoughts on what you can't do. And with your attention fixed in this fashion -- on what seems impossible -- there's no room for discovering what is possible -- for what you can do.
In other words, the only thing discouraged states do is to keep you busy doing nothing except feeling sorry for yourself...which is the perfect guarantee that your situation will remain hopelessly the same. Enough is enough! You don't have to put up with one more discouraging moment, let alone a life limited by its darkness. There's another choice you can make besides falling into those familiar feelings of being a "failure." The next few insights will empower you to start thinking about old discouragements in a new way.
Whenever we suffer over what we aren't able to do, create, or work through, where is our attention in these moments? It's riveted on our own thought-produced reality that's telling us we're stuck! Maybe you can recognize some of these heavy-hearted inner voices that come with being victimized by such dark thoughts. In one way or another, they say...
"I'll never get out of this mess."
"It's too late!"
"I'm too set in my ways to change.
"This is hopeless."
Now on the surface of things, these all-too-familiar whispers of defeat -- that speak to us with our own voice -- seem genuinely concerned about our unwanted condition. But a deeper look tells a much different story. These troubled thoughts are part of an unseen "conspiracy of limitation" taking place in our own consciousness! Follow the next four ideas to their stunning conclusion. They prove that self-illumination and self-liberation are one and the same power.
1. The more these gloomy voices talk to us, the more discouraged we feel.
2. The more discouraged we feel, the more certain we are there's no other choice but to feel that way.
3. The more convinced we are that we have no choice, the less choice we have.
4. The act of identifying with this dark inner dialogue actually produces the dead-end we fear!
And so it goes: now we're convinced of our own captivity! There's no way past the limitations we perceive as being real. The key idea here lies in the word "perceive" because it rhymes with deceive. That's just what this perception is: a secret deception. Here's the liberating proof.
There are no dead-ends in real life.
Of course you must prove this bright fact to yourself, and here's a good place to start: in any given moment there's always something higher to do with your life than sit there and suffer over what you think you can't have, do, or be. Why wallow this way when a small amount of interior work will forever change how you see reality? For instance, see that the "size" of your discouragement is directly proportionate to how strongly you insist life conform to your demands. Verifying this self-imposed limitation empowers you, immediately, to let it go and start over.
Here's another example: maybe you've felt discouraged because you wanted to learn something new -- a higher skill or a difficult lesson -- but felt sure that certain limitations of yours placed this possibility beyond your abilities. Now you can do something much higher than just resign yourself to feeling discouraged.
Instead of falling into those familiar feelings of futility over yourself, deliberately drop those discourage-filled thoughts telling you the limit of your present view is the limit of your possibilities. Who you have been matters only to those dark states that want you to remain that way so that they can continue to rule the day. Refusing to dwell in the world of discouraged thoughts and feelings is the same as opening the door to a new world without limits. Just start working with who you are now!
In other words, do what's in your power and refuse to be discouraged about anything else. Keep repeating this new action one step at a time until you've walked away from the whole false idea that there's no further you can go!
Here are three special key lessons to help you strengthen and then actualize your wish to live in a world without limits:
Any conversation you permit yourself to have with discouraging thoughts guarantees you'll wind up with a good reason for feeling discouraged.
When you know that what you're looking for is what you already are -- and not what you may become -- you stand on the threshold of the limitless life.
The universe itself is actually set up for you to succeed with realizing the limitless life, which means you are made for whatever happens to you!
*****
Adapted from Guy Finley's newest bestseller, "The Essential Laws of Fearless Living," a Red Wheel/Weiser publication. For a limited time, you can order this groundbreaking new book for a deeply discounted price, PLUS, receive over 108 free bonus items including Guy Finley's bestselling 60-minute DVD, "The Power to Never Again Feel Powerless." It's a complete life-changing package! Quantities are limited. Visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/essentiallaws.html right now to take advantage of this incredible offer.
About the Author:
Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 35 books and audio programs on the subject of self-realization, several of which have become international best sellers. His popular works, published in 17 languages, are widely endorsed by doctors, professionals, and religious leaders of all denominations.
Finley is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in Southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. Visit http://www.guyfinley.org for a wealth of free helpful information, free audio and video downloads, and to request your free Self-Improvement Starter Kit.
Five Questions That Help You Make the Most of Your Time - By Rodger Constandse
Questions have the power to instantly change your focus and put you into a productive frame of mind.
These five simple time management questions will immediately direct your attention, your focus, and your thinking toward your top priorities and away from distractions.
Just ask yourself these questions habitually throughout the day, and you will start making better use of your time.
1. What is the most valuable use of my time right now?
This is a slight variation of a question developed by time management expert Alan Lakein.
The purpose of this question is to shift your focus to what is most important and valuable at this moment. It is a perfect question to ask whenever you are unsure about what to do next, whenever you face an unexpected interruption, or whenever you feel that you are not making good use of your time.
For example, let's say you find yourself with an extra 20 minutes of unscheduled time. Asking yourself "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?" will help you find an important task for the time you have available.
2. What am I ultimately trying to accomplish?
The purpose of this question is to focus your thinking on your real objectives and goals -- the real reasons you are working on your projects and tasks.
Asking this question habitually will help you avoid getting sidetracked, drifting into trivia, or falling into perfectionism. You can use this powerful question for all your projects.
For example, while preparing a presentation, you can easily get sucked into less valuable work when you start playing with the formatting, or adding bells and whistles, instead of working on the content.
The work seems important because it is connected to your presentation project, but when you take a closer look, you realize that you are wasting your time on details that don't really matter.
Asking this question will help you refocus your efforts on your real objectives and away from trivial matters. If it turns out that the formatting details are important for this project, you'll recognize this as well and give them the attention they deserve.
This question can also help you find and eliminate useless tasks that don't contribute toward your ultimate goals.
3. What am I giving up to do this?
Whenever you choose to do something, you automatically reject everything else you could have done during that time.
The purpose of this question is to help you realize what you are giving up in order to undertake a task or project. Once you recognize the true cost of an activity, you may decide that it is not how you really want to spend your time.
Asking this question before you take on a new task or project will help you stay focused on what really matters. It will also help you recognize when you should be saying no to that new request.
You should also ask this question about activities that you are already doing on a regular basis. These could be things like volunteering to do some work for your trade association, chairing a committee, or serving on the board of a community organization.
While all of these things may be valuable undertakings, you may be sacrificing something even more important to do them. Asking "What am I giving up to do this?" may turn out to be a real eye opener.
You probably wouldn't consciously sacrifice time with your family in order to participate in a committee you don't care about, but you might be doing it by default if you don't examine your existing commitments on a regular basis.
4. What are my three most important projects or tasks today?
The purpose of this question is to help you make use of the 80/20 rule every day. The 80/20 rule states that 80 percent of the value is contained in only 20 percent of the items. The top two or three projects and tasks in any given day could account for up to 80 percent of your day's value, so give them the time and priority they deserve.
If you practice weekly planning, you can change this question to "What are the three most important projects for this week?"
5. Should I continue doing this?
This is a slight variation of the first two questions, but shifts the focus toward what to stop doing rather than what to start doing.
Deciding to stop doing something that is no longer valuable is often more important than actually deciding to start doing something else.
This is a perfect question to ask whenever you feel you may be wasting time trying to perfect something that should already be done, or when you feel stuck in a commitment that is no longer serving your long-term objectives.
Keys to Success:
* Make it a habit. At first, you'll have to keep reminding yourself to ask these questions over and over again. However, if you keep asking consistently, eventually they will become a habit that will serve you for the rest of your life.
* Use these three steps whenever you have to make a time management decision: pause to think before you react, use questions to put you in the right frame of mind, and do the right thing.
* Keep asking until you get an answer. Sometimes you won't get an answer to these questions right away; just keep asking while you review your projects and task. The right answer will come.
About the Author:
Rodger Constandse is the founder of Goals to Action, a website that helps visitors reach their full potential and connect their daily actions to their mission, vision, and goals. http://www.GoalsToAction.com
These five simple time management questions will immediately direct your attention, your focus, and your thinking toward your top priorities and away from distractions.
Just ask yourself these questions habitually throughout the day, and you will start making better use of your time.
1. What is the most valuable use of my time right now?
This is a slight variation of a question developed by time management expert Alan Lakein.
The purpose of this question is to shift your focus to what is most important and valuable at this moment. It is a perfect question to ask whenever you are unsure about what to do next, whenever you face an unexpected interruption, or whenever you feel that you are not making good use of your time.
For example, let's say you find yourself with an extra 20 minutes of unscheduled time. Asking yourself "What is the most valuable use of my time right now?" will help you find an important task for the time you have available.
2. What am I ultimately trying to accomplish?
The purpose of this question is to focus your thinking on your real objectives and goals -- the real reasons you are working on your projects and tasks.
Asking this question habitually will help you avoid getting sidetracked, drifting into trivia, or falling into perfectionism. You can use this powerful question for all your projects.
For example, while preparing a presentation, you can easily get sucked into less valuable work when you start playing with the formatting, or adding bells and whistles, instead of working on the content.
The work seems important because it is connected to your presentation project, but when you take a closer look, you realize that you are wasting your time on details that don't really matter.
Asking this question will help you refocus your efforts on your real objectives and away from trivial matters. If it turns out that the formatting details are important for this project, you'll recognize this as well and give them the attention they deserve.
This question can also help you find and eliminate useless tasks that don't contribute toward your ultimate goals.
3. What am I giving up to do this?
Whenever you choose to do something, you automatically reject everything else you could have done during that time.
The purpose of this question is to help you realize what you are giving up in order to undertake a task or project. Once you recognize the true cost of an activity, you may decide that it is not how you really want to spend your time.
Asking this question before you take on a new task or project will help you stay focused on what really matters. It will also help you recognize when you should be saying no to that new request.
You should also ask this question about activities that you are already doing on a regular basis. These could be things like volunteering to do some work for your trade association, chairing a committee, or serving on the board of a community organization.
While all of these things may be valuable undertakings, you may be sacrificing something even more important to do them. Asking "What am I giving up to do this?" may turn out to be a real eye opener.
You probably wouldn't consciously sacrifice time with your family in order to participate in a committee you don't care about, but you might be doing it by default if you don't examine your existing commitments on a regular basis.
4. What are my three most important projects or tasks today?
The purpose of this question is to help you make use of the 80/20 rule every day. The 80/20 rule states that 80 percent of the value is contained in only 20 percent of the items. The top two or three projects and tasks in any given day could account for up to 80 percent of your day's value, so give them the time and priority they deserve.
If you practice weekly planning, you can change this question to "What are the three most important projects for this week?"
5. Should I continue doing this?
This is a slight variation of the first two questions, but shifts the focus toward what to stop doing rather than what to start doing.
Deciding to stop doing something that is no longer valuable is often more important than actually deciding to start doing something else.
This is a perfect question to ask whenever you feel you may be wasting time trying to perfect something that should already be done, or when you feel stuck in a commitment that is no longer serving your long-term objectives.
Keys to Success:
* Make it a habit. At first, you'll have to keep reminding yourself to ask these questions over and over again. However, if you keep asking consistently, eventually they will become a habit that will serve you for the rest of your life.
* Use these three steps whenever you have to make a time management decision: pause to think before you react, use questions to put you in the right frame of mind, and do the right thing.
* Keep asking until you get an answer. Sometimes you won't get an answer to these questions right away; just keep asking while you review your projects and task. The right answer will come.
About the Author:
Rodger Constandse is the founder of Goals to Action, a website that helps visitors reach their full potential and connect their daily actions to their mission, vision, and goals. http://www.GoalsToAction.com
Focus Your Efforts - By Kelley Robertson
In some of the sales training workshops I conduct, people express their concern about prospects who don't seem interested in the product or service that is presented to them. These individuals get frustrated because their prospect fails to make a positive buying decision.
Not everyone wants or needs your product or service even though you may think otherwise. Many companies could benefit from what you offer but some of them will never understand this. That's okay. It simply means you need to redirect your effort. Stop trying to sell to everyone. Instead, focus your energy on people and companies who recognize the value of what you offer.
The best place to start is with companies that are similar in nature to your best customers. During last month's "Cold Calling Made Easy teleseminar, Patrick Kilhoffer suggested that you contact your best customers and ask them why they like your product, service or company. After several calls, you will know exactly why people buy from you. You can then use that information to more closely target companies who have the same need.
Focusing your efforts on high quality prospects will help you generate much better results.
Have a productive and profitable week!
Not everyone wants or needs your product or service even though you may think otherwise. Many companies could benefit from what you offer but some of them will never understand this. That's okay. It simply means you need to redirect your effort. Stop trying to sell to everyone. Instead, focus your energy on people and companies who recognize the value of what you offer.
The best place to start is with companies that are similar in nature to your best customers. During last month's "Cold Calling Made Easy teleseminar, Patrick Kilhoffer suggested that you contact your best customers and ask them why they like your product, service or company. After several calls, you will know exactly why people buy from you. You can then use that information to more closely target companies who have the same need.
Focusing your efforts on high quality prospects will help you generate much better results.
Have a productive and profitable week!
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Quantum Leap Thinking - By Dave Carpenter
Since biblical times, the power of possibility thinking has been documented by innumerable authors. And, over the last century, authors and motivational speakers such as Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, Zig Ziglar, Dr. Robert Schuller, Brian Tracy, Anthony Robbins, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and many more have extolled the virtues of believing that we, each and every one of us, are capable of achieving things far beyond the ordinary.
More recently, a smaller group of authors have taken to documenting the power of an even more potent way of thinking -- quantum leap thinking. Back in 1981, Fred Alan Wolf wrote a thought-provoking book, "Taking the Quantum Leap." In his book, Wolf suggested that the same force that had revolutionized physics in the early 1900's, the notion of quantum mechanics, could be applied to human behavior. Other authors, such as Dr. Price Pritchett ("The Quantum Leap Strategy") and James Mapes ("Quantum Leap Thinking"), subsequently moved Wolf's work forward with their writings on how quantum leap thinking could be a force more powerful than possibility thinking.
Quantum leap thinking is possibility thinking freed up (1) from the limitations of our assumption that things progress sequentially, and (2) from our fear of significant change.
The essence of quantum physics is that all things do not happen in a sequential or connected way. Those of us who are not scientists frequently view the world -- and therefore that which is possible -- as being very sequential. Most people believe there are limits to how much their income can grow in the next year, or how much revenues in their company could grow in the next year, or how much their golf game could improve, or how much their health could improve, or even how much a relationship with another person could improve.
The fact is that we can have a quantum leap in the results we achieve if we see such as possible and overcome our fears of making such a leap and take action by making the leap.
There are six steps to becoming one who consistently achieves the Quantum Leap:
1. Apply Quantum Leap Thinking Continually - Train your mind to see beyond the immediate and the obvious. Think big and avoid the natural tendency to prematurely conjure up barriers to attaining that which you imagine as possible. As Dr. Price Pritchett says, "Think beyond what common sense would allow."
2. Avoid Succumbing to the Attitude of Instant Gratification - One of the most formidable barriers to consistent achievement of quantum leaps is the desire for instant gratification. Many of the best things in life are not instant, quick "fixes." Attainment of the best things often requires consistent application of effort for which results are delayed -- albeit spectacular when finally achieved. Learn how to avoid developing the Attitude of Instant Gratification -- an attitude that frequently stops the quantum leap before it can even begin.
3. Reign in your F.E.A.R. - As much as we may want the results accompanying a quantum leap, we often fear the actions needed. And super results often create super fears. But risk is not always proportionate to return, for many risks can be covered or hedged. To be a quantum leap thinker, you must come to understand your fear mechanisms. You must be able to differentiate fear of real risks from False Evidence Appearing Real.
4. Take Action; Make the Leap - The world is full of dreamers... the "would haves" and "could haves" who are full of excuses why they did not accomplish that of which they dreamed. Quantum leap embodies action right in the words. Leap... take action! Not reckless action, but action that is planned with diligent attention to dealing with all real risks. Come to appreciate the power of failure when it does occur.
5. See Every Event that Appears as a Setback as an Opportunity - Learn to accept the bumpiness along the road of life. No mortal has a forever smooth road. No one! Because we cannot walk in the shoes of others, it may seem that others have it smooth. But in reality, no one has it smooth. Now, some do manage to make life smoother by learning to deal more effectively with the bumps. And the truly gifted develop the capability to take adversity and to channel adversity into positive experiences.
6. Surround Yourself with other Quantum Leapers - The people with whom you associate have an enormous impact on your life. Make the choice to surround yourself with people who are, at minimum, possibility thinkers. And seek out relationships with those relatively rare individuals who are quantum leap thinkers. How does one find quantum leap thinkers? Look to those achieving extraordinary success in any field.
Quantum leap thinking really can produce extraordinary results for you. And when transformed into Quantum Leverage, your strengths can be magnified many times over.
Open your mind to the awesome potential of quantum leap thinking!
About the Author:
Dave Carpenter's name is synonymous with corporate and personal peak performance. Over a 25-year career in corporate restructuring, Dave became widely recognized as one of the leaders in this field. As a result, he has long been annually recognized as an honoree in Who's Who in Law, and Who's Who in Finance. http://quantum-leap-strategies.com/
More recently, a smaller group of authors have taken to documenting the power of an even more potent way of thinking -- quantum leap thinking. Back in 1981, Fred Alan Wolf wrote a thought-provoking book, "Taking the Quantum Leap." In his book, Wolf suggested that the same force that had revolutionized physics in the early 1900's, the notion of quantum mechanics, could be applied to human behavior. Other authors, such as Dr. Price Pritchett ("The Quantum Leap Strategy") and James Mapes ("Quantum Leap Thinking"), subsequently moved Wolf's work forward with their writings on how quantum leap thinking could be a force more powerful than possibility thinking.
Quantum leap thinking is possibility thinking freed up (1) from the limitations of our assumption that things progress sequentially, and (2) from our fear of significant change.
The essence of quantum physics is that all things do not happen in a sequential or connected way. Those of us who are not scientists frequently view the world -- and therefore that which is possible -- as being very sequential. Most people believe there are limits to how much their income can grow in the next year, or how much revenues in their company could grow in the next year, or how much their golf game could improve, or how much their health could improve, or even how much a relationship with another person could improve.
The fact is that we can have a quantum leap in the results we achieve if we see such as possible and overcome our fears of making such a leap and take action by making the leap.
There are six steps to becoming one who consistently achieves the Quantum Leap:
1. Apply Quantum Leap Thinking Continually - Train your mind to see beyond the immediate and the obvious. Think big and avoid the natural tendency to prematurely conjure up barriers to attaining that which you imagine as possible. As Dr. Price Pritchett says, "Think beyond what common sense would allow."
2. Avoid Succumbing to the Attitude of Instant Gratification - One of the most formidable barriers to consistent achievement of quantum leaps is the desire for instant gratification. Many of the best things in life are not instant, quick "fixes." Attainment of the best things often requires consistent application of effort for which results are delayed -- albeit spectacular when finally achieved. Learn how to avoid developing the Attitude of Instant Gratification -- an attitude that frequently stops the quantum leap before it can even begin.
3. Reign in your F.E.A.R. - As much as we may want the results accompanying a quantum leap, we often fear the actions needed. And super results often create super fears. But risk is not always proportionate to return, for many risks can be covered or hedged. To be a quantum leap thinker, you must come to understand your fear mechanisms. You must be able to differentiate fear of real risks from False Evidence Appearing Real.
4. Take Action; Make the Leap - The world is full of dreamers... the "would haves" and "could haves" who are full of excuses why they did not accomplish that of which they dreamed. Quantum leap embodies action right in the words. Leap... take action! Not reckless action, but action that is planned with diligent attention to dealing with all real risks. Come to appreciate the power of failure when it does occur.
5. See Every Event that Appears as a Setback as an Opportunity - Learn to accept the bumpiness along the road of life. No mortal has a forever smooth road. No one! Because we cannot walk in the shoes of others, it may seem that others have it smooth. But in reality, no one has it smooth. Now, some do manage to make life smoother by learning to deal more effectively with the bumps. And the truly gifted develop the capability to take adversity and to channel adversity into positive experiences.
6. Surround Yourself with other Quantum Leapers - The people with whom you associate have an enormous impact on your life. Make the choice to surround yourself with people who are, at minimum, possibility thinkers. And seek out relationships with those relatively rare individuals who are quantum leap thinkers. How does one find quantum leap thinkers? Look to those achieving extraordinary success in any field.
Quantum leap thinking really can produce extraordinary results for you. And when transformed into Quantum Leverage, your strengths can be magnified many times over.
Open your mind to the awesome potential of quantum leap thinking!
About the Author:
Dave Carpenter's name is synonymous with corporate and personal peak performance. Over a 25-year career in corporate restructuring, Dave became widely recognized as one of the leaders in this field. As a result, he has long been annually recognized as an honoree in Who's Who in Law, and Who's Who in Finance. http://quantum-leap-strategies.com/
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Becoming A Master Of Persuasion - By Brian Tracy
Persuasion power can help you get more of the things you want faster than anything else you do. It can mean the difference between success and failure. It can guarantee your progress and enable you to use all of your other skills and abilities at the very highest level. Your persuasion power will earn you the support and respect of your customers, bosses, coworkers, colleagues and friends. The ability to persuade others to do what you want them to do can make you one of the most important people in your community.
Fortunately, persuasion is a skill, like riding a bicycle, that you can learn through study and practice. Your job is to become absolutely excellent at influencing and motivating others to support and assist you in the achievement of your goals and the solving of your problems.
You can either persuade others to help you or be persuaded to help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are doing the persuading.
The key to persuasion is motivation. Every human action is motivated by something. Your job is to find out what motivates other people and then to provide that motivation. People have two major motivations: the desire for gain and the fear of loss. The desire for gain motivates people to want more of the things they value in life. They want more money, more success, more health, more influence, more respect, more love and more happiness. Human wants are limited only by individual imagination. No matter how much a person has, he or she still wants more and more. When you can show a person how he or she can get more of the things he or she wants by helping you achieve your goals, you can motivate them to act in your behalf.
President Eisenhower once said that, "Persuasion is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do, and to like it." You need always to be thinking about how you can get people to want to do the things that you need them to do to attain your objectives.
People are also motivated to act by the fear of loss. This fear, in all its various forms, is often stronger than the desire for gain. People fear financial loss, loss of health, anger or disapproval of others, loss of the love of someone and the loss of anything they have worked hard to accomplish. They fear change, risk and uncertainty because these threaten them with potential losses.
Whenever you can show a person that, by doing what you want them to do, they can avoid a loss of some kind, you can influence them to take a particular action. The very best appeals are those where you offer an opportunity to gain and an opportunity to avoid loss at the same time.
There are two ways to get the things you want in life. First, you can work by yourself and for yourself in your own best interest. You can be a "Robinson Crusoe" of modern life, relying on yourself for the satisfaction of your needs. By doing this, you can accomplish a little, but not a lot. The person who looks to himself or herself completely is limited in his or her capacities. He or she will never be rich or successful.
The second way to get the things you want is by gaining and using leverage. Leverage allows you to multiply yourself and get far more out of the hours you put in rather than doing everything yourself.
There are three forms of leverage you must develop to fulfill your full potential in our society: other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge, and other people’s money.
You leverage yourself through other people’s efforts by getting other people to work with you and for you in the accomplishment of your objectives. Sometimes you can ask them to help you voluntarily, although people won’t work for very long without some personal reward. At other times you can hire them to help you, thereby freeing you up to do higher-value work.
One of the most important laws of economics is called "Ricardo’s Law." It is also called the Law of Comparative Advantage. This law states that when someone can accomplish a part of your task at a lower hourly rate than you would earn for accomplishing more valuable parts of your task, you should delegate or outsource that part of the task.
For example, if you want to earn $100,000 a year, in a 250 day year, you need to make $50.00 per hour. That means you must be doing work that is worth $50.00 per hour, eight hours per day, 250 days per year. Therefore, if there is any part of your work—like making photocopies, filing information, typing letters, or filling out expense forms—that is not valued at $50.00 per hour, you should stop doing it. You should persuade someone else who works at a lower hourly rate to do it for you. The more lower level tasks you can persuade others to do, the more time you will have to do tasks that pay you higher amounts of money. This is one of the essential keys to getting the leverage you need to become one of the higher paid people in your profession.
Management can be defined as "getting things done through others." To be a manager you must be an expert at persuading and influencing others to work in a common direction. This is why all excellent managers are also excellent low-pressure salespeople. They do not order people to do things; instead, they persuade them to accept certain responsibilities, with specific deadlines and agreed-upon standards of performance. When a person has been persuaded that he or she has a vested interest in doing a job well, he or she accepts ownership of the job and the result. Once a person accepts ownership and responsibility, the manager can step aside confidently, knowing the job will be done on schedule.
In every part of your life, you have a choice of either doing it yourself or delegating it to others. Your ability to get someone else to take on the job with the same enthusiasm that you would have is an exercise in personal persuasion. It may seem to take a little longer at the beginning, but it saves you an enormous amount of time in the completion of the task.
The second form of leverage that you must develop for success in America is other people’s knowledge. You must be able to tap into the brain power of many other people if you want to accomplish worthwhile goals. Successful people are not those who know everything needed to accomplish a particular task, but more often than not, they are people who know how to find the knowledge they need.
What is the knowledge that you need to achieve your most important goals? Of the knowledge required, what knowledge must you have personally in order to control your situation, and what knowledge can you borrow, buy, or rent from others?
It has been said that, in our information-based society, you are never more than one book or two phone calls away from any piece of knowledge in the country. With on-line computer services that access huge data bases all over the country, you can usually get the precise information you require in a few minutes by using a personal computer. Whenever you need information and expertise from another person in order to achieve your goals, the very best way to persuade them to help you is to ask them for their assistance.
Almost everyone who is knowledgeable in a particular area is proud of their accomplishments. By asking a person for their expert advice, you compliment them and motivate them to want to help you. So don’t be afraid to ask, even if you don’t know the individual personally.
The third key to leverage, which is very much based on your persuasive abilities, is other people’s money. Your ability to use other people’s money and resources to leverage your talents is the key to financial success. Your ability to buy and defer payment, to sell and collect payment in advance, to borrow, rent or lease furniture, fixtures and machinery, and to borrow money from people to help you multiply your opportunities is one of the most important of all skills that you can develop. And these all depend on your ability to persuade others to cooperate with you financially so that you can develop the leverage you need to move onward and upward in your field.
There are four "Ps" that will enhance your ability to persuade others in both your work and personal life. They are power, positioning, performance, and politeness. And they are all based on perception.
The first "P" is power. The more power and influence that a person perceives that you have, whether real or not, the more likely it is that that person will be persuaded by you to do the things you want them to do. For example, if you appear to be a senior executive, or a wealthy person, people will be much more likely to help you and serve you than they would be if you were perceived to be a lower level employee.
The second "P" is positioning. This refers to the way that other people think about you and talk about you when you are not there. Your positioning in the mind and heart of other people largely determines how open they are to being influenced by you.
In everything you do involving other people, you are shaping and influencing their perceptions of you and your positioning in their minds. Think about how you could change the things you say and do so that people think about you in such a way that they are more open to your requests and to helping you achieve your goals.
The third "P" is performance. This refers to your level of competence and expertise in your area. A person who is highly respected for his or her ability to get results is far more persuasive and influential than a person who only does an average job.
The perception that people have of your performance capabilities exerts an inordinate influence on how they think and feel about you. You should commit yourself to being the very best in your field. Sometimes, a reputation for being excellent at what you do can be so powerful that it alone can make you an extremely persuasive individual in all of your interactions with the people around you. They will accept your advice, be open to your influence and agree with your requests.
The fourth "P" of persuasion power is politeness. People do things for two reasons, because they want to and because they have to. When you treat people with kindness, courtesy and respect, you make them want to do things for you. They are motivated to go out of their way to help you solve your problems and accomplish your goals. Being nice to other people satisfies one of the deepest of all subconscious needs, the need to feel important and respected. Whenever you convey this to another person in your conversation, your attitude and your treatment of that person, he or she will be wide open to being persuaded and influenced by you in almost anything you need.
Again, perception is everything. The perception of an individual is his or her reality. People act on the basis of their perceptions of you. If you change their perceptions, you change the way they think and feel about you, and you change the things that they will do for you.
You can become an expert at personal persuasion. You can develop your personal power by always remembering that there are only two ways to get the things you want in life, you can do it all yourself, or you can get most of it done by others. Your ability to communicate, persuade, negotiate, influence, delegate and interact effectively with other people will enable you to develop leverage using other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge and other people’s money. The development of your persuasion power will enable you to become one of the most powerful and influential people in your organization. It will open up doors for you in every area of your life.
About the Author:
Brian Tracy is the most listened to audio author on personal and business success in the world today. His fast-moving talks and seminars on leadership, sales, managerial effectiveness and business strategy are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that people can immediately apply to get better results in every area. For more information, please go to www.BrianTracy.com
Fortunately, persuasion is a skill, like riding a bicycle, that you can learn through study and practice. Your job is to become absolutely excellent at influencing and motivating others to support and assist you in the achievement of your goals and the solving of your problems.
You can either persuade others to help you or be persuaded to help them. It is one or the other. Most people are not aware that every human interaction involves a complex process of persuasion and influence. And being unaware, they are usually the ones being persuaded to help others rather than the ones who are doing the persuading.
The key to persuasion is motivation. Every human action is motivated by something. Your job is to find out what motivates other people and then to provide that motivation. People have two major motivations: the desire for gain and the fear of loss. The desire for gain motivates people to want more of the things they value in life. They want more money, more success, more health, more influence, more respect, more love and more happiness. Human wants are limited only by individual imagination. No matter how much a person has, he or she still wants more and more. When you can show a person how he or she can get more of the things he or she wants by helping you achieve your goals, you can motivate them to act in your behalf.
President Eisenhower once said that, "Persuasion is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do, and to like it." You need always to be thinking about how you can get people to want to do the things that you need them to do to attain your objectives.
People are also motivated to act by the fear of loss. This fear, in all its various forms, is often stronger than the desire for gain. People fear financial loss, loss of health, anger or disapproval of others, loss of the love of someone and the loss of anything they have worked hard to accomplish. They fear change, risk and uncertainty because these threaten them with potential losses.
Whenever you can show a person that, by doing what you want them to do, they can avoid a loss of some kind, you can influence them to take a particular action. The very best appeals are those where you offer an opportunity to gain and an opportunity to avoid loss at the same time.
There are two ways to get the things you want in life. First, you can work by yourself and for yourself in your own best interest. You can be a "Robinson Crusoe" of modern life, relying on yourself for the satisfaction of your needs. By doing this, you can accomplish a little, but not a lot. The person who looks to himself or herself completely is limited in his or her capacities. He or she will never be rich or successful.
The second way to get the things you want is by gaining and using leverage. Leverage allows you to multiply yourself and get far more out of the hours you put in rather than doing everything yourself.
There are three forms of leverage you must develop to fulfill your full potential in our society: other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge, and other people’s money.
You leverage yourself through other people’s efforts by getting other people to work with you and for you in the accomplishment of your objectives. Sometimes you can ask them to help you voluntarily, although people won’t work for very long without some personal reward. At other times you can hire them to help you, thereby freeing you up to do higher-value work.
One of the most important laws of economics is called "Ricardo’s Law." It is also called the Law of Comparative Advantage. This law states that when someone can accomplish a part of your task at a lower hourly rate than you would earn for accomplishing more valuable parts of your task, you should delegate or outsource that part of the task.
For example, if you want to earn $100,000 a year, in a 250 day year, you need to make $50.00 per hour. That means you must be doing work that is worth $50.00 per hour, eight hours per day, 250 days per year. Therefore, if there is any part of your work—like making photocopies, filing information, typing letters, or filling out expense forms—that is not valued at $50.00 per hour, you should stop doing it. You should persuade someone else who works at a lower hourly rate to do it for you. The more lower level tasks you can persuade others to do, the more time you will have to do tasks that pay you higher amounts of money. This is one of the essential keys to getting the leverage you need to become one of the higher paid people in your profession.
Management can be defined as "getting things done through others." To be a manager you must be an expert at persuading and influencing others to work in a common direction. This is why all excellent managers are also excellent low-pressure salespeople. They do not order people to do things; instead, they persuade them to accept certain responsibilities, with specific deadlines and agreed-upon standards of performance. When a person has been persuaded that he or she has a vested interest in doing a job well, he or she accepts ownership of the job and the result. Once a person accepts ownership and responsibility, the manager can step aside confidently, knowing the job will be done on schedule.
In every part of your life, you have a choice of either doing it yourself or delegating it to others. Your ability to get someone else to take on the job with the same enthusiasm that you would have is an exercise in personal persuasion. It may seem to take a little longer at the beginning, but it saves you an enormous amount of time in the completion of the task.
The second form of leverage that you must develop for success in America is other people’s knowledge. You must be able to tap into the brain power of many other people if you want to accomplish worthwhile goals. Successful people are not those who know everything needed to accomplish a particular task, but more often than not, they are people who know how to find the knowledge they need.
What is the knowledge that you need to achieve your most important goals? Of the knowledge required, what knowledge must you have personally in order to control your situation, and what knowledge can you borrow, buy, or rent from others?
It has been said that, in our information-based society, you are never more than one book or two phone calls away from any piece of knowledge in the country. With on-line computer services that access huge data bases all over the country, you can usually get the precise information you require in a few minutes by using a personal computer. Whenever you need information and expertise from another person in order to achieve your goals, the very best way to persuade them to help you is to ask them for their assistance.
Almost everyone who is knowledgeable in a particular area is proud of their accomplishments. By asking a person for their expert advice, you compliment them and motivate them to want to help you. So don’t be afraid to ask, even if you don’t know the individual personally.
The third key to leverage, which is very much based on your persuasive abilities, is other people’s money. Your ability to use other people’s money and resources to leverage your talents is the key to financial success. Your ability to buy and defer payment, to sell and collect payment in advance, to borrow, rent or lease furniture, fixtures and machinery, and to borrow money from people to help you multiply your opportunities is one of the most important of all skills that you can develop. And these all depend on your ability to persuade others to cooperate with you financially so that you can develop the leverage you need to move onward and upward in your field.
There are four "Ps" that will enhance your ability to persuade others in both your work and personal life. They are power, positioning, performance, and politeness. And they are all based on perception.
The first "P" is power. The more power and influence that a person perceives that you have, whether real or not, the more likely it is that that person will be persuaded by you to do the things you want them to do. For example, if you appear to be a senior executive, or a wealthy person, people will be much more likely to help you and serve you than they would be if you were perceived to be a lower level employee.
The second "P" is positioning. This refers to the way that other people think about you and talk about you when you are not there. Your positioning in the mind and heart of other people largely determines how open they are to being influenced by you.
In everything you do involving other people, you are shaping and influencing their perceptions of you and your positioning in their minds. Think about how you could change the things you say and do so that people think about you in such a way that they are more open to your requests and to helping you achieve your goals.
The third "P" is performance. This refers to your level of competence and expertise in your area. A person who is highly respected for his or her ability to get results is far more persuasive and influential than a person who only does an average job.
The perception that people have of your performance capabilities exerts an inordinate influence on how they think and feel about you. You should commit yourself to being the very best in your field. Sometimes, a reputation for being excellent at what you do can be so powerful that it alone can make you an extremely persuasive individual in all of your interactions with the people around you. They will accept your advice, be open to your influence and agree with your requests.
The fourth "P" of persuasion power is politeness. People do things for two reasons, because they want to and because they have to. When you treat people with kindness, courtesy and respect, you make them want to do things for you. They are motivated to go out of their way to help you solve your problems and accomplish your goals. Being nice to other people satisfies one of the deepest of all subconscious needs, the need to feel important and respected. Whenever you convey this to another person in your conversation, your attitude and your treatment of that person, he or she will be wide open to being persuaded and influenced by you in almost anything you need.
Again, perception is everything. The perception of an individual is his or her reality. People act on the basis of their perceptions of you. If you change their perceptions, you change the way they think and feel about you, and you change the things that they will do for you.
You can become an expert at personal persuasion. You can develop your personal power by always remembering that there are only two ways to get the things you want in life, you can do it all yourself, or you can get most of it done by others. Your ability to communicate, persuade, negotiate, influence, delegate and interact effectively with other people will enable you to develop leverage using other people’s efforts, other people’s knowledge and other people’s money. The development of your persuasion power will enable you to become one of the most powerful and influential people in your organization. It will open up doors for you in every area of your life.
About the Author:
Brian Tracy is the most listened to audio author on personal and business success in the world today. His fast-moving talks and seminars on leadership, sales, managerial effectiveness and business strategy are loaded with powerful, proven ideas and strategies that people can immediately apply to get better results in every area. For more information, please go to www.BrianTracy.com
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
The Perfect Fitness Schedule - By Joey Atlas
One of the most frequently asked questions regarding fitness scheduling is, "What's the best time for me to work out?" You hear and read so many different 'opinions' on this topic -- it's enough to drive you nuts. The truth is there is only one good answer to this question. Most people find that it's an answer they cannot only live with, but make great progress in both short- and long-term fitness goals. Read on to find out your best time to exercise.
Lots of confusion has come about in the past few years with many fitness pros endorsing the 'exercise in the morning' is the best. This concept is rooted in a fat burning technique that is supposed to help you lose body-fat while exercising on an empty stomach. There are a few other 'hypothetical' reasons why certain people may promote the 'morning workouts are best' theory. But, to simplify matters, I'm going to quickly get to the point and the truth about this misunderstood fitness issue.
The best time for you to work out is when you can most comfortably fit it into your schedule. The supposed 'time of day' differences in exercise effects on the body should be a distant second or third when you are planning your ideal workout routine schedule. Your number-one priority should be to plug your workouts into your schedule when it is most fitting for your lifestyle. And this can change on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis.
Career and family present various scheduling challenges at various times, and because of this, you want to factor in a degree of flexibility into your 'fitness planner'. In a previous article, I wrote about writing (or typing) your fitness activities into your daily/weekly/monthly schedule... of course, doing this with the foresight that you can move and shift your workouts around to fit into your overall life routine.
Shifting your workout 'times of day' does not take anything away from your progress and long-term success -- this is natural and perfectly fine -- and is actually one of the main reasons why certain people do experience fitness success.
Another issue is the 'duration of workout' challenge. Let's say you usually spend an estimated 50 minutes on exercise during your workouts. But you know on certain days of the coming week you only have 20-30 minutes to devote to your workouts. Instead of throwing in the towel and skipping the workouts (because you think it's not worth exercising for half of your normal time), you make the most of that 20-30 minutes -- by modifying your workout to fit the time you can devote to it.
For example, instead of doing 30 minutes of cardio activity and 20 minutes of resistance training -- you do 20 minutes of mixed cardio/resistance cross training and a quick 5-minute stretch. Or maybe you just pick one thing, such as getting on treadmill for 20 minutes at a higher than normal intensity (increased speed and/or incline) or strength/resistance training for 20 minutes.
Here's my point -- 20 minutes of something is a million times better than nothing, maybe even more than that!!
Another way to work your workouts into a tight schedule is by breaking them up into segments. For example, let's say your total workout time is 55 minutes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing 30 minutes of it first thing in the morning -- and then doing the rest at lunch time or in the evening.
The concept of fitness habits being so structured and regimented is one of the biggest reasons many people never even get started -- and it's also a big factor that 'gets people off their programs'.
Have a general schedule and program in place, but be sure to factor in time when you'll have to bend your fitness program to fit your life and all that goes with it. Giving some slack to your schedule does not mean you are slacking off -- but rather you are implementing the kind of creativity and forethought that is common amongst all successful fitness followers.
About the Author:
Joey Atlas is the author of "Fatness to Fitness," which was recently released on Amazon.com. To celebrate the launch, Joey is giving away almost $300 worth of bonuses with each book purchase, including a full body, home fitness DVD. Visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/yourfitnessbook.html for all the details.
Lots of confusion has come about in the past few years with many fitness pros endorsing the 'exercise in the morning' is the best. This concept is rooted in a fat burning technique that is supposed to help you lose body-fat while exercising on an empty stomach. There are a few other 'hypothetical' reasons why certain people may promote the 'morning workouts are best' theory. But, to simplify matters, I'm going to quickly get to the point and the truth about this misunderstood fitness issue.
The best time for you to work out is when you can most comfortably fit it into your schedule. The supposed 'time of day' differences in exercise effects on the body should be a distant second or third when you are planning your ideal workout routine schedule. Your number-one priority should be to plug your workouts into your schedule when it is most fitting for your lifestyle. And this can change on a day-to-day or week-to-week basis.
Career and family present various scheduling challenges at various times, and because of this, you want to factor in a degree of flexibility into your 'fitness planner'. In a previous article, I wrote about writing (or typing) your fitness activities into your daily/weekly/monthly schedule... of course, doing this with the foresight that you can move and shift your workouts around to fit into your overall life routine.
Shifting your workout 'times of day' does not take anything away from your progress and long-term success -- this is natural and perfectly fine -- and is actually one of the main reasons why certain people do experience fitness success.
Another issue is the 'duration of workout' challenge. Let's say you usually spend an estimated 50 minutes on exercise during your workouts. But you know on certain days of the coming week you only have 20-30 minutes to devote to your workouts. Instead of throwing in the towel and skipping the workouts (because you think it's not worth exercising for half of your normal time), you make the most of that 20-30 minutes -- by modifying your workout to fit the time you can devote to it.
For example, instead of doing 30 minutes of cardio activity and 20 minutes of resistance training -- you do 20 minutes of mixed cardio/resistance cross training and a quick 5-minute stretch. Or maybe you just pick one thing, such as getting on treadmill for 20 minutes at a higher than normal intensity (increased speed and/or incline) or strength/resistance training for 20 minutes.
Here's my point -- 20 minutes of something is a million times better than nothing, maybe even more than that!!
Another way to work your workouts into a tight schedule is by breaking them up into segments. For example, let's say your total workout time is 55 minutes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing 30 minutes of it first thing in the morning -- and then doing the rest at lunch time or in the evening.
The concept of fitness habits being so structured and regimented is one of the biggest reasons many people never even get started -- and it's also a big factor that 'gets people off their programs'.
Have a general schedule and program in place, but be sure to factor in time when you'll have to bend your fitness program to fit your life and all that goes with it. Giving some slack to your schedule does not mean you are slacking off -- but rather you are implementing the kind of creativity and forethought that is common amongst all successful fitness followers.
About the Author:
Joey Atlas is the author of "Fatness to Fitness," which was recently released on Amazon.com. To celebrate the launch, Joey is giving away almost $300 worth of bonuses with each book purchase, including a full body, home fitness DVD. Visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/yourfitnessbook.html for all the details.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Is "Earning a Living" Stopping You? - By Stacey Mayo, MCC
Every year, people resolve that this year will be different: "This will be the year that I write that book, start that new venture, double my income, take more time off to spend with my family," and the list goes on and on. However, when people think about pursuing their dreams, they often squash the idea because it doesn't seem practical.
Does this sound familiar? You have a dream, but are afraid that if you pursue it, you would risk giving up what you already have. It is easy to put it off to a later date -- a time when there will be more money, more time, and/or when the kids have graduated from college.
However, there is never a time when everything in your life is perfect for carrying out your goals. Don't wait for everything to be lined up. Once you actually commit to your dream, things will begin to fall into place. Know that is possible to live out your fondest dreams AND make a great living!
After supporting thousands of people across the globe in making their personal and professional dreams a reality, I have found the following strategies to be most effective:
* First, design your life around your priorities. Many people try to fit their dreams into their life and complain there are not enough hours in the day to make it happen. If you want your dream to become a reality, make it a priority.
For example, Stacy Allison, the first American woman to climb Mt. Everest, chose to live just outside of Zion National Park, so she could climb rock cliffs in her own backyard. Climbing was her priority for many years, and she made choices in alignment with that.
* Second, handle the basics (food, clothing, and shelter), then reach for fulfillment and self-actualization. If you can't stand your job any longer or have been forced out and you need a source of income, get a low-stress interim job to pay the bills while your pursue your dream.
* Visualize every step of your dream and watch the magic unfold. For example, an experiment conducted by Australian psychologist Alan Richardson found a 23 percent performance improvement among subjects who visualized every day for 20 days.
Mary Youngblood went from welfare mom to Grammy-award winner. Mary visualized herself out of welfare. She did this by writing a short story about a young welfare mother. It was her story, basically, and how she was discovered having great talent and was able to get herself up and out of welfare. She pictured it happening in her head and then took action in alignment with that picture.
* Laser in on one idea, business, or income stream at a time. One of the mistakes people make is diversifying too quickly. This is true whether you are trying to build multiple streams of income or are just working on several different ideas at one time. The key is getting the first stream or idea up and running and having systems in place so it will keep running without you before going on to the next unrelated stream.
This is one of my biggest lessons, as it is for many entrepreneurs and creative people. When I was writing, "I Can't Believe I Get Paid To Do This!" I was also looking for real estate investments, which was a new venture for me. I wasn't making much progress on either count. When I put the real estate to the side and committed to finishing the book, it happened quite easily.
* And last but not least, develop your resilience muscle by bouncing back from setbacks. You will very likely have setbacks along the way. Don't get stopped by these bumps in the road; learn from them.
About the Author:
Stacey Mayo established the Center for Balanced Living to carry out her life's work. She and a team of powerful coaches have counseled thousands of people to clarify and make their dream a reality. She is a Master Certified coach and has been featured on the CBS Evening News and Forbes. She is author of the award-winning book, "I Can't Believe I Get Paid To Do This" and "Is Your Ladder Leaning Against the Wrong Wall?" Visit http://www.balancedliving.com to subscribe to her FREE ezine, Living Your Dreams, and receive a free self-assessment.
Does this sound familiar? You have a dream, but are afraid that if you pursue it, you would risk giving up what you already have. It is easy to put it off to a later date -- a time when there will be more money, more time, and/or when the kids have graduated from college.
However, there is never a time when everything in your life is perfect for carrying out your goals. Don't wait for everything to be lined up. Once you actually commit to your dream, things will begin to fall into place. Know that is possible to live out your fondest dreams AND make a great living!
After supporting thousands of people across the globe in making their personal and professional dreams a reality, I have found the following strategies to be most effective:
* First, design your life around your priorities. Many people try to fit their dreams into their life and complain there are not enough hours in the day to make it happen. If you want your dream to become a reality, make it a priority.
For example, Stacy Allison, the first American woman to climb Mt. Everest, chose to live just outside of Zion National Park, so she could climb rock cliffs in her own backyard. Climbing was her priority for many years, and she made choices in alignment with that.
* Second, handle the basics (food, clothing, and shelter), then reach for fulfillment and self-actualization. If you can't stand your job any longer or have been forced out and you need a source of income, get a low-stress interim job to pay the bills while your pursue your dream.
* Visualize every step of your dream and watch the magic unfold. For example, an experiment conducted by Australian psychologist Alan Richardson found a 23 percent performance improvement among subjects who visualized every day for 20 days.
Mary Youngblood went from welfare mom to Grammy-award winner. Mary visualized herself out of welfare. She did this by writing a short story about a young welfare mother. It was her story, basically, and how she was discovered having great talent and was able to get herself up and out of welfare. She pictured it happening in her head and then took action in alignment with that picture.
* Laser in on one idea, business, or income stream at a time. One of the mistakes people make is diversifying too quickly. This is true whether you are trying to build multiple streams of income or are just working on several different ideas at one time. The key is getting the first stream or idea up and running and having systems in place so it will keep running without you before going on to the next unrelated stream.
This is one of my biggest lessons, as it is for many entrepreneurs and creative people. When I was writing, "I Can't Believe I Get Paid To Do This!" I was also looking for real estate investments, which was a new venture for me. I wasn't making much progress on either count. When I put the real estate to the side and committed to finishing the book, it happened quite easily.
* And last but not least, develop your resilience muscle by bouncing back from setbacks. You will very likely have setbacks along the way. Don't get stopped by these bumps in the road; learn from them.
About the Author:
Stacey Mayo established the Center for Balanced Living to carry out her life's work. She and a team of powerful coaches have counseled thousands of people to clarify and make their dream a reality. She is a Master Certified coach and has been featured on the CBS Evening News and Forbes. She is author of the award-winning book, "I Can't Believe I Get Paid To Do This" and "Is Your Ladder Leaning Against the Wrong Wall?" Visit http://www.balancedliving.com to subscribe to her FREE ezine, Living Your Dreams, and receive a free self-assessment.
Creating and Recognizing Opportunity - By Keith Matthew
The ability to create and recognize opportunity is very important for us if we want to start growing our personal lives, deepening our connections with people, as well as, of course, the money that's in our pockets. In fact, if you just focus on what we're about to talk about, and focus on no other part of this success system, you'll definitely get your worth out of it.
Get into the mindset of making sure that you get a return on your investment.
If it's an investment of energy into a relationship, an investment of your time into a project, or your money down on a personal development product, start expecting of yourself that you're going to get a return on your investment.
I went to a seminar and paid a couple thousand dollars just to get in. That doesn't even take into account airfare, meals, and all the other expenses incurred. I formed new relationships with people that could be very beneficial to my business -- to grow it.
When the seminar had ended, I returned home and the busyness of my life took over again. I have to be here, I have this appointment, I have these clients to work with -- you know how it is.
Two weeks...three weeks...a month went by. The bottom line is: I put several thousand dollars down as an investment in my business and in my position in my life, to better it, and I didn't take ACTION on it, so I basically threw the money away. Make it a mantra that when you do something, you're going to make a commitment and have the expectation that you're going to get a return on your investment (ROI).
Going along with that idea, of course, you're going to have to take action and have a plan, so you can make sure to have this ROI. It doesn't have to be money. If you have energy invested in a relationship and you're not getting your "ROI," you have to take a look at why. Is it because you're not putting something in that needs to be there to get the return back? Does the relationship have to be changed? Start expecting this. In talking about "Creating and Recognizing Opportunity," how do we prepare for something like this? We don't know where opportunity is, when it's going to show up, or what is going to be expected of you in order to take advantage of the opportunity. You don't know what the outcome is going to be if you do jump on and take advantage of an opportunity.
You also don't know if it's going to be worth your time or worth the risk involved, so there are a lot of unknowns with opportunity. You can't even see it, let alone quantifying whether it's going to be worth it for you. Yet, finding opportunity in your life and around you is very vital to your success.
Really good opportunities, a lot of times, come and go quickly. Either somebody next to you jumps on it, or it just passes by like a moment and then you're still in the same spot you were in before, which is not why we're here. We're here to learn how to move from spot A to B to C. The truth of the matter is, opportunity is everywhere. It's everywhere in your life right now -- all over the place. It's incredible how much it's in your life, but most of the time we don't see it. Why do you think we don't see opportunity?
We each have a perspective on our lives. Whatever your perspective is, is pretty much consistent from day to day because that's how your world is shaped, that's how you have shaped it. So we have this perspective, and we really have to work on changing it.
When you work on and start to be able to change your perspective, and you can see things in a different light or from different angles, different viewpoints, then you're starting to get on the right track to seeing opportunity. When you open up your mind and allow for these other possibilities, you start to see that they are all around you.
About the Author:
Keith Matthew has been teaching Law of Attraction and wealth-building techniques for 18 years. Visit http://www.selfmasterysecrets.com/ns-freecourse.html to sign up for a Free 7-Day Success Workshop or go to http://www.selfmasterysecrets.com/ns-freecd.html to get a Free 'Limitless Wealth' CD.
Get into the mindset of making sure that you get a return on your investment.
If it's an investment of energy into a relationship, an investment of your time into a project, or your money down on a personal development product, start expecting of yourself that you're going to get a return on your investment.
I went to a seminar and paid a couple thousand dollars just to get in. That doesn't even take into account airfare, meals, and all the other expenses incurred. I formed new relationships with people that could be very beneficial to my business -- to grow it.
When the seminar had ended, I returned home and the busyness of my life took over again. I have to be here, I have this appointment, I have these clients to work with -- you know how it is.
Two weeks...three weeks...a month went by. The bottom line is: I put several thousand dollars down as an investment in my business and in my position in my life, to better it, and I didn't take ACTION on it, so I basically threw the money away. Make it a mantra that when you do something, you're going to make a commitment and have the expectation that you're going to get a return on your investment (ROI).
Going along with that idea, of course, you're going to have to take action and have a plan, so you can make sure to have this ROI. It doesn't have to be money. If you have energy invested in a relationship and you're not getting your "ROI," you have to take a look at why. Is it because you're not putting something in that needs to be there to get the return back? Does the relationship have to be changed? Start expecting this. In talking about "Creating and Recognizing Opportunity," how do we prepare for something like this? We don't know where opportunity is, when it's going to show up, or what is going to be expected of you in order to take advantage of the opportunity. You don't know what the outcome is going to be if you do jump on and take advantage of an opportunity.
You also don't know if it's going to be worth your time or worth the risk involved, so there are a lot of unknowns with opportunity. You can't even see it, let alone quantifying whether it's going to be worth it for you. Yet, finding opportunity in your life and around you is very vital to your success.
Really good opportunities, a lot of times, come and go quickly. Either somebody next to you jumps on it, or it just passes by like a moment and then you're still in the same spot you were in before, which is not why we're here. We're here to learn how to move from spot A to B to C. The truth of the matter is, opportunity is everywhere. It's everywhere in your life right now -- all over the place. It's incredible how much it's in your life, but most of the time we don't see it. Why do you think we don't see opportunity?
We each have a perspective on our lives. Whatever your perspective is, is pretty much consistent from day to day because that's how your world is shaped, that's how you have shaped it. So we have this perspective, and we really have to work on changing it.
When you work on and start to be able to change your perspective, and you can see things in a different light or from different angles, different viewpoints, then you're starting to get on the right track to seeing opportunity. When you open up your mind and allow for these other possibilities, you start to see that they are all around you.
About the Author:
Keith Matthew has been teaching Law of Attraction and wealth-building techniques for 18 years. Visit http://www.selfmasterysecrets.com/ns-freecourse.html to sign up for a Free 7-Day Success Workshop or go to http://www.selfmasterysecrets.com/ns-freecd.html to get a Free 'Limitless Wealth' CD.
You ar Blessed - By Abraham-Hicks
You are blessed...
All the resources you will ever want or need are at your fingertips. All you have to do is identify what you want to do with it, and then practice the feeling-place of what it will feel like when that happens. There is nothing you cannot be or do or have. You are blessed Beings; you have come forth into this physical environment to create. There is nothing holding you back, other than your own contradictory thought. And your emotion tells you you're doing that. Life is supposed to be fun—it is supposed to feel good! You are powerful Creators and right on schedule. Savor more; fix less. Laugh more; cry less. Anticipate positively more; anticipate negatively less. Nothing is more important than that you feel good. Just practice that and watch what happens. There is great love here for you. We are complete.
Abraham-Hicks
All the resources you will ever want or need are at your fingertips. All you have to do is identify what you want to do with it, and then practice the feeling-place of what it will feel like when that happens. There is nothing you cannot be or do or have. You are blessed Beings; you have come forth into this physical environment to create. There is nothing holding you back, other than your own contradictory thought. And your emotion tells you you're doing that. Life is supposed to be fun—it is supposed to feel good! You are powerful Creators and right on schedule. Savor more; fix less. Laugh more; cry less. Anticipate positively more; anticipate negatively less. Nothing is more important than that you feel good. Just practice that and watch what happens. There is great love here for you. We are complete.
Abraham-Hicks
Enough About Me - By Kelley Robertson
What's the one thing most people like to talk about?
Give yourself a gold star if you said themselves.
Unfortunately, this concept prevents many sales from moving forward. In most sales conversations the sales person spends most of his time talking about his product, service, or solution which means he is essentially talking about himself. However, the prospect has the innate desire to talk about her situation, business, or circumstances. The longer the sales person drones on about his solution, the more likely the prospect will lose interest in the conversation.
The most effective sales people understand the importance of getting their customers and prospects to open up and they spend the bulk of their time listening to their prospect talk about their specific situation. They ask questions that encourage open conversation. They probe when they hear something vague. And they resist the temptation to talk about their product or service until they know as much as possible about each prospect.
The challenge is that most sales people feel that they aren't selling if they aren't talking. But remember, the more someone talks about their situation, the more information you will gain which will help you better position a solution.
Have a productive and profitable week!
Give yourself a gold star if you said themselves.
Unfortunately, this concept prevents many sales from moving forward. In most sales conversations the sales person spends most of his time talking about his product, service, or solution which means he is essentially talking about himself. However, the prospect has the innate desire to talk about her situation, business, or circumstances. The longer the sales person drones on about his solution, the more likely the prospect will lose interest in the conversation.
The most effective sales people understand the importance of getting their customers and prospects to open up and they spend the bulk of their time listening to their prospect talk about their specific situation. They ask questions that encourage open conversation. They probe when they hear something vague. And they resist the temptation to talk about their product or service until they know as much as possible about each prospect.
The challenge is that most sales people feel that they aren't selling if they aren't talking. But remember, the more someone talks about their situation, the more information you will gain which will help you better position a solution.
Have a productive and profitable week!
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Easy Living -- Good or Bad for Brain Fitness? - By Dr. Simon Evans
If you talked to a person from the 1950s about all the modern marvels we have today, they'd likely drool at the mouth. What? You don't have to get up to change the TV channel? You can reheat leftovers in 1 minute? You can access any information at any time without leaving your house? No way!
Be Careful What You Ask For
But are our lives really getting any easier? Do all these time-saving devices allow us to work less? Well, sort of. It certainly takes less work to do any specific task. When I was in graduate school writing my thesis, I thought of the poor slobs who had to do that without the aid of a computer or the internet. It must have taken people an entire day to go to the library to find references that I can now get in 10 minutes (God bless Google). The trade-off is that we are expected to do a lot more tasks as part of our normal day.
I was reading an interesting paper by Kelly Lambert recently that put some of this into perspective as it may relate to rates of depression in our modern society. Even with all our modern conveniences, high-end medical care, and plethora of designer drugs, we have a huge mental health crisis. In fact, today mental health accounts for about 15% of disease burden worldwide. So why are we so unhappy?
The Thrill is in the Chase
Dr. Lambert argues that one factor in our overall societal unhappiness is the fact that we have it too easy, especially when it comes to feeding ourselves. Years gone by, dinner was more than a phone-call away. We actually had to track our food across the tundra and risk death by saber-toothed tigers or violent weather, in order to feed ourselves. Even if we were successful, we had to do it again the next day. As time drew on, we learned it was much easier to plant food in the ground. But this still required intensive labor and patience to bring our sowing efforts to the fruition of harvest.
All of this effort made the reward that much more enjoyable. The magnitude of the reward may actually depend on the magnitude of the effort required to achieve it. Meaning the harder we have to work for something, the more we enjoy it when we are successful. Since successfully finding food is a major factor in our survival, and we used to work very hard to stay fed, we had ample opportunity for regular high intensity rewards.
Appreciate What You Have
Today, however, we take for granted this major facet of our lives. Finding food does not require much effort at all, at least for most of the lucky people living in our society. Because we don't need to put out effort, we don't activate reward centers in our brains that our ancestors activated on a regular basis. We are essentially robbing ourselves of a major 'happiness factor', and this, argues Dr. Lambert, may be a problem. It may be that today's lack of regular reward, due to lack of necessary effort, may be a factor in high rates of depression.
Whether or not she is right, I don't know. She provides many examples and scientific studies to back up her argument, and I thought it was a very interesting point worthy of a post. In fact, I have two cats that seem to agree with her. They are not content just eating their chow out of a dish. Instead, they enjoy scooping out one nugget at a time, batting it across the kitchen floor, and then pouncing on their prey before eating it.
There's not really much we can do about this unless you want to pull a Grizzly Adams and drop out of society, move to the hills, and live off the land. Alternatively, you could do all your grocery shopping in full camouflage, crawling around on your belly through the frozen food aisle. Or, maybe we can be more appreciative of what we have and not take all our modern conveniences for granted.
Reference: Lambert, K.G. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 30 (2006) 497-510
About the Author:
Dr. Simon Evans holds a Ph.D. in molecular biology with 15 years research and teaching experience in neuroscience, and is a current faculty position in the Psychiatry Department at the University of Michigan. He is a member of the Society for Neuroscience, the American Society for Nutrition, and the Michigan Metabolomics and Obesity Center, with expertise in neurochemistry and nutrition. He is the author of dozens of scientific publications on stress, depression, and brain function, as well as the public book, "Brain Fitness," published in the spring of 2007.
Dr. Evans also holds a national coaching license from the United States Soccer Federation and over two decades coaching experience, which enables him to help athletes find and use their full potential. Dr. Evans has merged his interests in brain function, health, and performance coaching in public seminars and workshops designed to educate audiences about brain health and motivate them to take action to achieve it. Visit http://www.BrainFitForLife.com
Be Careful What You Ask For
But are our lives really getting any easier? Do all these time-saving devices allow us to work less? Well, sort of. It certainly takes less work to do any specific task. When I was in graduate school writing my thesis, I thought of the poor slobs who had to do that without the aid of a computer or the internet. It must have taken people an entire day to go to the library to find references that I can now get in 10 minutes (God bless Google). The trade-off is that we are expected to do a lot more tasks as part of our normal day.
I was reading an interesting paper by Kelly Lambert recently that put some of this into perspective as it may relate to rates of depression in our modern society. Even with all our modern conveniences, high-end medical care, and plethora of designer drugs, we have a huge mental health crisis. In fact, today mental health accounts for about 15% of disease burden worldwide. So why are we so unhappy?
The Thrill is in the Chase
Dr. Lambert argues that one factor in our overall societal unhappiness is the fact that we have it too easy, especially when it comes to feeding ourselves. Years gone by, dinner was more than a phone-call away. We actually had to track our food across the tundra and risk death by saber-toothed tigers or violent weather, in order to feed ourselves. Even if we were successful, we had to do it again the next day. As time drew on, we learned it was much easier to plant food in the ground. But this still required intensive labor and patience to bring our sowing efforts to the fruition of harvest.
All of this effort made the reward that much more enjoyable. The magnitude of the reward may actually depend on the magnitude of the effort required to achieve it. Meaning the harder we have to work for something, the more we enjoy it when we are successful. Since successfully finding food is a major factor in our survival, and we used to work very hard to stay fed, we had ample opportunity for regular high intensity rewards.
Appreciate What You Have
Today, however, we take for granted this major facet of our lives. Finding food does not require much effort at all, at least for most of the lucky people living in our society. Because we don't need to put out effort, we don't activate reward centers in our brains that our ancestors activated on a regular basis. We are essentially robbing ourselves of a major 'happiness factor', and this, argues Dr. Lambert, may be a problem. It may be that today's lack of regular reward, due to lack of necessary effort, may be a factor in high rates of depression.
Whether or not she is right, I don't know. She provides many examples and scientific studies to back up her argument, and I thought it was a very interesting point worthy of a post. In fact, I have two cats that seem to agree with her. They are not content just eating their chow out of a dish. Instead, they enjoy scooping out one nugget at a time, batting it across the kitchen floor, and then pouncing on their prey before eating it.
There's not really much we can do about this unless you want to pull a Grizzly Adams and drop out of society, move to the hills, and live off the land. Alternatively, you could do all your grocery shopping in full camouflage, crawling around on your belly through the frozen food aisle. Or, maybe we can be more appreciative of what we have and not take all our modern conveniences for granted.
Reference: Lambert, K.G. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews 30 (2006) 497-510
About the Author:
Dr. Simon Evans holds a Ph.D. in molecular biology with 15 years research and teaching experience in neuroscience, and is a current faculty position in the Psychiatry Department at the University of Michigan. He is a member of the Society for Neuroscience, the American Society for Nutrition, and the Michigan Metabolomics and Obesity Center, with expertise in neurochemistry and nutrition. He is the author of dozens of scientific publications on stress, depression, and brain function, as well as the public book, "Brain Fitness," published in the spring of 2007.
Dr. Evans also holds a national coaching license from the United States Soccer Federation and over two decades coaching experience, which enables him to help athletes find and use their full potential. Dr. Evans has merged his interests in brain function, health, and performance coaching in public seminars and workshops designed to educate audiences about brain health and motivate them to take action to achieve it. Visit http://www.BrainFitForLife.com
THERE IS ALWAYS ANOTHER CHOICE
You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose.
You alone steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today,
tomorrow or in any distant time to come. You hold the tiller.
You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it. It's always your next move.
Copyright 2008 www.yourdailymotivation.com
Reproduce freely but maintain Copyright notice.
You alone steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today,
tomorrow or in any distant time to come. You hold the tiller.
You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it. It's always your next move.
Copyright 2008 www.yourdailymotivation.com
Reproduce freely but maintain Copyright notice.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
The World and the Animals - By Cara Leanne Hughes
We are all living on this World. All the plants, trees, animals, water, and humans are all part of it.
We, alone, create our World. When we are experiencing negative emotions such as Anger, Sadness or even Fear, the World around us also appears negative. Yet when we are happy and peaceful, the World appears to be a wonderful place. If you love the World then you should love everything in it.
If you do, why is it in the Summer everyone gets the Ant Killer out and put it on the path? Ants are Animals, right? They live in the Garden. You wouldn't get a powder out and start feeding your children with it.
I was just meditating on the path in our beautiful garden, listening to the birds singing, the warmth of the sun, the smell of freshly cut grass and experiencing deep relaxation when an Ant crawled up my arm.
What's your the instinct response? Flick it off? Stamp on it? Have you ever actually sat and watched them? I let him crawl over my hands and arms.
I just felt pure bliss watching him. I had this sudden emotion of compassion and love.
Why can't we all do that? Accept everyone and everything as they truly are? When I see creatures such as Spiders or Ants I see them as a Spiritual Guide. I imagine them to be my own Mother or Father. I develop love and compassion towards them. They are an opportunity to help us develop our Spiritual faith and Inner Peace.
If we love the Insects, we love the plants, and the trees, and others around us. We create a positive environment. Our World. Our Universe.
It is all in the Mind. Ripple Out Love and Compassion, my dear friends.
- By Cara Leanne Hughes
We, alone, create our World. When we are experiencing negative emotions such as Anger, Sadness or even Fear, the World around us also appears negative. Yet when we are happy and peaceful, the World appears to be a wonderful place. If you love the World then you should love everything in it.
If you do, why is it in the Summer everyone gets the Ant Killer out and put it on the path? Ants are Animals, right? They live in the Garden. You wouldn't get a powder out and start feeding your children with it.
I was just meditating on the path in our beautiful garden, listening to the birds singing, the warmth of the sun, the smell of freshly cut grass and experiencing deep relaxation when an Ant crawled up my arm.
What's your the instinct response? Flick it off? Stamp on it? Have you ever actually sat and watched them? I let him crawl over my hands and arms.
I just felt pure bliss watching him. I had this sudden emotion of compassion and love.
Why can't we all do that? Accept everyone and everything as they truly are? When I see creatures such as Spiders or Ants I see them as a Spiritual Guide. I imagine them to be my own Mother or Father. I develop love and compassion towards them. They are an opportunity to help us develop our Spiritual faith and Inner Peace.
If we love the Insects, we love the plants, and the trees, and others around us. We create a positive environment. Our World. Our Universe.
It is all in the Mind. Ripple Out Love and Compassion, my dear friends.
- By Cara Leanne Hughes
LOOK AT THINGS AS THEY CAN BE
LOOK AT THINGS AS THEY CAN BE
Your range of available choices right now has no limits.
The only limits you have are in your mind.
You've got it in you to succeed.
Just make up your mind and stick with it.
You werent born with any limits on your powers
or any set limits to your capacity.
At any moment, you have more possibilities than you can act upon.
Imagine your possibilities and your vision expands.
Capture your dreams in your mind and your life becomes full.
Reach out and touch the limits of your being in your mind.
You can, because you think you can.
Copyright 2008 www.yourdailymotivation.com
Reproduce freely but maintain Copyright notice.
Your range of available choices right now has no limits.
The only limits you have are in your mind.
You've got it in you to succeed.
Just make up your mind and stick with it.
You werent born with any limits on your powers
or any set limits to your capacity.
At any moment, you have more possibilities than you can act upon.
Imagine your possibilities and your vision expands.
Capture your dreams in your mind and your life becomes full.
Reach out and touch the limits of your being in your mind.
You can, because you think you can.
Copyright 2008 www.yourdailymotivation.com
Reproduce freely but maintain Copyright notice.
Friday, May 30, 2008
FLIPPING - By Charles Price
I have always been a fish, when it comes to swimming. I've been swimming since I was two and a half years old. I was fortunate to have a pool in my backyard growing up. My older sister, Veronica, was also a fish. She would get up on the diving board and do double front flips and double back flips with relative ease.
Needless to say I was quite amazed by her acrobatic feet. I really wanted to do a flip badly. Except for some reason I was afraid of our diving board. It took me a few summers to get over that one.
Six years later my sister had stopped doing her amazing double flips, but my dream to do a flip still stuck in my mind. I had a constant reminder in my backyard, even during the winter months.
I started becoming very adventurous on the diving board, turning my body in various ways before I hit the water. The sting of the water when you are spinning uncontrollably almost knocked me out on multiple occasions.
I really put my effort into doing flips when I was thirteen years old. I would begin my flip, only to get scared in the middle of it, and have a long fall to land on my back. This was my regular routine for three years. I'd have it and then get scared and hit my back, but I never stopped trying.
I got really good at absorbing the pain of landing on my back or my side. My best friend, Kevin, had gotten the flip down the previous summer. Needless to say I did trust myself. I didn't truly believe I could do it. Yet no matter the countless tries attempting to fulfill this dream my focus to accomplish it never waned.
One day while watching Kevin flip, it suddenly clicked for me. I lowered my left shoulder and did a very awkward looking flip. I was so ecstatic that I did this odd looking flips over and over again. It was all worth it.
After that I perfected my flip and started doing one and a half flips. I have flipped off of ten-foot roofs (Don't try this at home kids); thirty-foot cliffs and a forty-five foot cliff.
I tend to forget the accomplishments I've done in my childhood because I've thought it's all about growing up. But the dream that kid had still lives inside me. So next time you have a project to do or a dream to accomplish think of all the amazing things you have accomplished before that. Celebrate your victories and go after your dreams. If you have never done your flip in life, all it takes is the dream to do it again one more time.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Charles Price is a MDI subscriber who has appreciated the inspiration he has received over the years from MDI. He created wristbands that say "REDEFINE WHAT"S POSSIBLE" as a reminder for us all that dreams do come true. Charles can be contacted at yabish@yahoo.com
Needless to say I was quite amazed by her acrobatic feet. I really wanted to do a flip badly. Except for some reason I was afraid of our diving board. It took me a few summers to get over that one.
Six years later my sister had stopped doing her amazing double flips, but my dream to do a flip still stuck in my mind. I had a constant reminder in my backyard, even during the winter months.
I started becoming very adventurous on the diving board, turning my body in various ways before I hit the water. The sting of the water when you are spinning uncontrollably almost knocked me out on multiple occasions.
I really put my effort into doing flips when I was thirteen years old. I would begin my flip, only to get scared in the middle of it, and have a long fall to land on my back. This was my regular routine for three years. I'd have it and then get scared and hit my back, but I never stopped trying.
I got really good at absorbing the pain of landing on my back or my side. My best friend, Kevin, had gotten the flip down the previous summer. Needless to say I did trust myself. I didn't truly believe I could do it. Yet no matter the countless tries attempting to fulfill this dream my focus to accomplish it never waned.
One day while watching Kevin flip, it suddenly clicked for me. I lowered my left shoulder and did a very awkward looking flip. I was so ecstatic that I did this odd looking flips over and over again. It was all worth it.
After that I perfected my flip and started doing one and a half flips. I have flipped off of ten-foot roofs (Don't try this at home kids); thirty-foot cliffs and a forty-five foot cliff.
I tend to forget the accomplishments I've done in my childhood because I've thought it's all about growing up. But the dream that kid had still lives inside me. So next time you have a project to do or a dream to accomplish think of all the amazing things you have accomplished before that. Celebrate your victories and go after your dreams. If you have never done your flip in life, all it takes is the dream to do it again one more time.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Charles Price is a MDI subscriber who has appreciated the inspiration he has received over the years from MDI. He created wristbands that say "REDEFINE WHAT"S POSSIBLE" as a reminder for us all that dreams do come true. Charles can be contacted at yabish@yahoo.com
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
A Sense Of Giving - By Tony Grant
Over the past two weeks, I have seen (and indeed created) a situation that has provoked much reaction. It is not my intention to expand any further on the actual details of that situation but would instead like to consider some resultant thoughts.
Throughout my life, I have had a tendency to be generous in my actions. This generosity has not necessarily always been mine to offer and I have perhaps sacrificed some future stabilities for those moments of giving. However, as one man is willing to give, another is willing to accept and soon a life can become biased towards giving or accepting rather than attaining a more reciprocal balance.
As I seek meaning in my life, I have reviewed many and varied written and audible offerings on abundance or personal growth. Throughout these readings, one message appears to be clear, that an open heart and a giving mind is the key to receiving your just rewards. This teaching also appears to extend to a nature of generosity and selflessness.
However, could it be that a giving nature in fact serves to attract taking by others, is generosity juxtapose to receiving. The readings did seem to suggest that one should progress through life with the sense that money would be attracted to an abundant spirit and that this spirit should not be stifled by thoughts of financial shortage, as this would merely attract more of the same. However, as a wallet opens, the opportunities to dispense of its contents increase, yet there does not appear to be any direct correlation to increased income to replenish those diminishing resources.
Of course, the books could be talking about richness of mind and spirit rather than in purely financial terms but unfortunately, the scene appears to be the same. You open up your emotional bank and commence the dispensing of good will. Very soon, you can find that those emotional reserves have depleted in the same manner as with your financial well being! At this time, you might turn to those who have made withdrawals and request some advance from their very own reserves, only to find that their bank is closed for your business.
This might be painting a bleak perception of human nature and not entirely how I would wish it to be portrayed. Whilst it is inevitable that some people will drift (or be pushed) from your life when your demands or actions become extreme, others will unselfishly raise their levels of support and show examples of true friendship. I know that survival through my recent journey has placed pressures upon those close to me and in most cases, I have received a level of support that is beyond any I could have expected. Having said that, I do believe that those most willing to give are often those least willing to take. In some way this then puts me on the other side of my very own analogy, being an inadvertent depleter rather than the giver as was my nature.
Perhaps the ultimate destiny is therefore to attempt to be more balanced in generosity, become grateful to receive yet equally open to giving. Accept that it is generally not the intention of any person to merely take as self-satisfaction is more commonly derived from acts of selflessness. Maybe I cannot turn the tables on my past actions but hopefully I will continue to learn from my life and seek to attain a balance that is fairer to those closest to me or indeed any that might have chance to know me.
For this occasion only, might I suggest that as with yours...
My future deserves!
Tony Grant
www.apassionforsuccess.com
Author's Bio
Tony Grant is a UK based Consultant focussing primarily upon employment and self employment with a motivational and personal empowerment bias. Tony seeks to deliver an understanding of success in a clear and concise manner, without the mysticism and frills of so many current offerings.
Throughout my life, I have had a tendency to be generous in my actions. This generosity has not necessarily always been mine to offer and I have perhaps sacrificed some future stabilities for those moments of giving. However, as one man is willing to give, another is willing to accept and soon a life can become biased towards giving or accepting rather than attaining a more reciprocal balance.
As I seek meaning in my life, I have reviewed many and varied written and audible offerings on abundance or personal growth. Throughout these readings, one message appears to be clear, that an open heart and a giving mind is the key to receiving your just rewards. This teaching also appears to extend to a nature of generosity and selflessness.
However, could it be that a giving nature in fact serves to attract taking by others, is generosity juxtapose to receiving. The readings did seem to suggest that one should progress through life with the sense that money would be attracted to an abundant spirit and that this spirit should not be stifled by thoughts of financial shortage, as this would merely attract more of the same. However, as a wallet opens, the opportunities to dispense of its contents increase, yet there does not appear to be any direct correlation to increased income to replenish those diminishing resources.
Of course, the books could be talking about richness of mind and spirit rather than in purely financial terms but unfortunately, the scene appears to be the same. You open up your emotional bank and commence the dispensing of good will. Very soon, you can find that those emotional reserves have depleted in the same manner as with your financial well being! At this time, you might turn to those who have made withdrawals and request some advance from their very own reserves, only to find that their bank is closed for your business.
This might be painting a bleak perception of human nature and not entirely how I would wish it to be portrayed. Whilst it is inevitable that some people will drift (or be pushed) from your life when your demands or actions become extreme, others will unselfishly raise their levels of support and show examples of true friendship. I know that survival through my recent journey has placed pressures upon those close to me and in most cases, I have received a level of support that is beyond any I could have expected. Having said that, I do believe that those most willing to give are often those least willing to take. In some way this then puts me on the other side of my very own analogy, being an inadvertent depleter rather than the giver as was my nature.
Perhaps the ultimate destiny is therefore to attempt to be more balanced in generosity, become grateful to receive yet equally open to giving. Accept that it is generally not the intention of any person to merely take as self-satisfaction is more commonly derived from acts of selflessness. Maybe I cannot turn the tables on my past actions but hopefully I will continue to learn from my life and seek to attain a balance that is fairer to those closest to me or indeed any that might have chance to know me.
For this occasion only, might I suggest that as with yours...
My future deserves!
Tony Grant
www.apassionforsuccess.com
Author's Bio
Tony Grant is a UK based Consultant focussing primarily upon employment and self employment with a motivational and personal empowerment bias. Tony seeks to deliver an understanding of success in a clear and concise manner, without the mysticism and frills of so many current offerings.
Positive Attitude - Choice Or Chance? - By Karen Wheeler Hall
Play along with me for a moment…
What would your reaction be if you just won $25,000 on a game show?
You’d probably say you felt thrilled, elated, or excited.
You would, huh? What if I told you more about the circumstances involved…
You were doing great and had progressed to the last round. You had already won $500,000, but you chose to risk that amount to go for the million dollar question. Unfortunately, you got it wrong and ended up with “only” $25,000.
Now how would you feel? Disappointed, mad at yourself, and just plain awful, right?
So why do you feel so bad if you are walking away with $25,000 more than you had before?
You feel awful because of how you interpret that event. If you focus on what might have been, you will feel very unhappy. But with conscious effort, you can choose to focus on the $25,000 you won rather than the $475,000 you lost.
Here is a great truth of life – what determines our happiness is not so much what happens to us as how we feel about it. Our reaction determines whether we interpret events as positive or negative.
I read an interesting article about a study showing that Americans tend to be happier than people in countries such as Japan and Korea, but are also more likely to be unhappy when negative events happen. Apparently many Americans have gotten so used to being well-off and happy that they get upset at even everyday hassles and troubles.
This is where positive thinking can be so powerful. You can train your mind to stay positive in every situation, provided you are willing to look at situations differently.
With practice and determination you can change your old, negative way of thinking. So if you want to be happier choose to start thinking more positively today!
© Karen Wheeler Hall – All Rights Reserved
Author's Bio
Karen Wheeler Hall is the author of The Mental Diet Pyramid(SM) – A Simplified System to Beat Stress and Live in Joy, Illumination – Inspiring Stories about Finding the Silver Lining, and co-author of 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, vol. 3, all available from http://www.FindMoreJoy.com/. Find More Joy! is dedicated to helping you overcome stress & anxiety so you can be incredibly happy. Download your copy of Karen's FREE eBook Positively Incredible! by visiting http://www.FindMoreJoy.com/.
What would your reaction be if you just won $25,000 on a game show?
You’d probably say you felt thrilled, elated, or excited.
You would, huh? What if I told you more about the circumstances involved…
You were doing great and had progressed to the last round. You had already won $500,000, but you chose to risk that amount to go for the million dollar question. Unfortunately, you got it wrong and ended up with “only” $25,000.
Now how would you feel? Disappointed, mad at yourself, and just plain awful, right?
So why do you feel so bad if you are walking away with $25,000 more than you had before?
You feel awful because of how you interpret that event. If you focus on what might have been, you will feel very unhappy. But with conscious effort, you can choose to focus on the $25,000 you won rather than the $475,000 you lost.
Here is a great truth of life – what determines our happiness is not so much what happens to us as how we feel about it. Our reaction determines whether we interpret events as positive or negative.
I read an interesting article about a study showing that Americans tend to be happier than people in countries such as Japan and Korea, but are also more likely to be unhappy when negative events happen. Apparently many Americans have gotten so used to being well-off and happy that they get upset at even everyday hassles and troubles.
This is where positive thinking can be so powerful. You can train your mind to stay positive in every situation, provided you are willing to look at situations differently.
With practice and determination you can change your old, negative way of thinking. So if you want to be happier choose to start thinking more positively today!
© Karen Wheeler Hall – All Rights Reserved
Author's Bio
Karen Wheeler Hall is the author of The Mental Diet Pyramid(SM) – A Simplified System to Beat Stress and Live in Joy, Illumination – Inspiring Stories about Finding the Silver Lining, and co-author of 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life, vol. 3, all available from http://www.FindMoreJoy.com/. Find More Joy! is dedicated to helping you overcome stress & anxiety so you can be incredibly happy. Download your copy of Karen's FREE eBook Positively Incredible! by visiting http://www.FindMoreJoy.com/.
IT'S NEVER OVER UNTIL YOU SAY IT'S OVER
The power to hold on in spite of everything, to endure, this is the quality of a winner. Your greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fail.
It's your constant and determined effort that will eventually break down all resistance and sweep all the barriers before you. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that's necessary to reach your goal.
All great achievements require time. Endurance is the crowning quality of success.
Copyright 2008 yourdailymotivation.com
It's your constant and determined effort that will eventually break down all resistance and sweep all the barriers before you. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that's necessary to reach your goal.
All great achievements require time. Endurance is the crowning quality of success.
Copyright 2008 yourdailymotivation.com
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
When Nagging Gets in the Way - By Gina Gardiner
Whether you are working with your partner, your teenage children, or a work colleague, the principle is the same. What you say and the way in which it is said, the tone of voice, the words you use, and the timing of when things are said all have the capacity to widen the gap between you and the other person, to let them off the hook as they can rationalize your nagging as unreasonable, or to make them think.
If you want things to be different, you have to change old patterns of behavior. Listening to yourself and understanding what that triggers in the other person is a vital step to creating a different future. This article uses the relationship between workaholics and their partners as the focus, but you can use the principles when dealing with any relationship.
Most partners of workaholics feel neglected; they see themselves taking second place to their partners work. Clients often describe how their partner will take the time and trouble to listen to a member of their staff far more readily than they do them or their children. "If they loved me enough they would want to spend time with me." They make the assumption that it is lack of love which causes their partner to spend long hours away from them. Their frustrations and sense of loneliness take over, and as soon as their partner gets home, the frustrations spill over and they share how they are feeling and the recriminations begin.
Like so many of the strategies we use when we are feeling un-resourced, it is incredibly unproductive. Despite the fact that the strategy rarely works, many partners (and parents) find they go into nag mode knowing it is destined to fail and make them feel bad into the bargain. Einstein's definition of madness is to carry on doing the same thing even though we know it doesn't work. Yet millions of us continue to behave in a set way long after we know it is failing. This is not about blaming. We do the best we can given the personal resources at our disposal. What we want to do is to help you feel you have a wider range of resources at your disposal and the choice when to use them.
To understand why it fails so often, you need to take a step back and take a long hard look at what is really going on. Understanding what is actually happening can also give you the opportunity to behave differently.
Most workaholics are workaholics because of some deep seated need within themselves. Many are driven to succeed on terms which only they can define as they push themselves long after most people would feel highly successful. For some, it is the dread of failure rather than the pull of success which drives them. A poor sense of self-worth developed in childhood, the need to feel significant by doing things for others, or having external verification of worth are all common reasons for people feeling more secure in their working life than in their personal life.
You know your partner well. Consider what is driving them. Think about the relationship they had with their parents, siblings, or at school.
Partners will often respond disproportionately to a particular tone of voice or to being told that they have failed. It often hits a deep seated raw nerve which has been created during their formative years. The nagging becomes synonymous with a parent telling them how useless they are or a teacher or class bully belittling them.
Over the next few days, just listen to yourself. Put yourself into the shoes of the other person and consider how you would respond.
Be honest with yourself, but be constructive. This is not about blaming. It is about seeing more clearly why things have gone wrong and doing your best to find a productive way forward for you and your partner. Finding a win-win solution is always best. Making it a competition between you and their work is a risky business.
Over the next few days, think about how you handle yourself when dealing with your partner. You are the only person you can truly control. Think about what you truly want. If you want to change the relationship you have with your partner for the better, then simply waiting for them to change is unlikely to give you the result you want. To change things for the better, you have to make the decision to change the one person in your power. That is YOU.
Think about the way in which you speak, when you choose to bring things up, and how you couch things. Pouncing on your partner as soon as they come in tired and irritable from work is probably not the most productive time to talk about how unreasonable you think they are, at least not if you want them to truly listen to you. Run the conversation in your head and plan to do it differently. As a general rule of thumb, make a distinction between how you feel about them and their behavior. "I love you very much, but I find ------ really difficult." Keep calm and try not to see it as a point scoring exercise.
Making a change to your approach can make a difference over time. Be realistic; if your partnership has been rocky for an extended period of time, it can take time for a new strategy to work.
About the Author:
Gina Gardiner is one of the UK's leading Leadership Coaches. Gina supports people at individual or organizational levels to develop confidence, leadership, and people skills. Gina is the author of two books, "Kick Start Your Career" and "How YOU Can Manage Your Staff More Effectively," and is also a Neuro Linguistic Master Practitioner and a qualified coach. To download her free management ecourse, go to http://www.graduatesolutions.co.uk
If you want things to be different, you have to change old patterns of behavior. Listening to yourself and understanding what that triggers in the other person is a vital step to creating a different future. This article uses the relationship between workaholics and their partners as the focus, but you can use the principles when dealing with any relationship.
Most partners of workaholics feel neglected; they see themselves taking second place to their partners work. Clients often describe how their partner will take the time and trouble to listen to a member of their staff far more readily than they do them or their children. "If they loved me enough they would want to spend time with me." They make the assumption that it is lack of love which causes their partner to spend long hours away from them. Their frustrations and sense of loneliness take over, and as soon as their partner gets home, the frustrations spill over and they share how they are feeling and the recriminations begin.
Like so many of the strategies we use when we are feeling un-resourced, it is incredibly unproductive. Despite the fact that the strategy rarely works, many partners (and parents) find they go into nag mode knowing it is destined to fail and make them feel bad into the bargain. Einstein's definition of madness is to carry on doing the same thing even though we know it doesn't work. Yet millions of us continue to behave in a set way long after we know it is failing. This is not about blaming. We do the best we can given the personal resources at our disposal. What we want to do is to help you feel you have a wider range of resources at your disposal and the choice when to use them.
To understand why it fails so often, you need to take a step back and take a long hard look at what is really going on. Understanding what is actually happening can also give you the opportunity to behave differently.
Most workaholics are workaholics because of some deep seated need within themselves. Many are driven to succeed on terms which only they can define as they push themselves long after most people would feel highly successful. For some, it is the dread of failure rather than the pull of success which drives them. A poor sense of self-worth developed in childhood, the need to feel significant by doing things for others, or having external verification of worth are all common reasons for people feeling more secure in their working life than in their personal life.
You know your partner well. Consider what is driving them. Think about the relationship they had with their parents, siblings, or at school.
Partners will often respond disproportionately to a particular tone of voice or to being told that they have failed. It often hits a deep seated raw nerve which has been created during their formative years. The nagging becomes synonymous with a parent telling them how useless they are or a teacher or class bully belittling them.
Over the next few days, just listen to yourself. Put yourself into the shoes of the other person and consider how you would respond.
Be honest with yourself, but be constructive. This is not about blaming. It is about seeing more clearly why things have gone wrong and doing your best to find a productive way forward for you and your partner. Finding a win-win solution is always best. Making it a competition between you and their work is a risky business.
Over the next few days, think about how you handle yourself when dealing with your partner. You are the only person you can truly control. Think about what you truly want. If you want to change the relationship you have with your partner for the better, then simply waiting for them to change is unlikely to give you the result you want. To change things for the better, you have to make the decision to change the one person in your power. That is YOU.
Think about the way in which you speak, when you choose to bring things up, and how you couch things. Pouncing on your partner as soon as they come in tired and irritable from work is probably not the most productive time to talk about how unreasonable you think they are, at least not if you want them to truly listen to you. Run the conversation in your head and plan to do it differently. As a general rule of thumb, make a distinction between how you feel about them and their behavior. "I love you very much, but I find ------ really difficult." Keep calm and try not to see it as a point scoring exercise.
Making a change to your approach can make a difference over time. Be realistic; if your partnership has been rocky for an extended period of time, it can take time for a new strategy to work.
About the Author:
Gina Gardiner is one of the UK's leading Leadership Coaches. Gina supports people at individual or organizational levels to develop confidence, leadership, and people skills. Gina is the author of two books, "Kick Start Your Career" and "How YOU Can Manage Your Staff More Effectively," and is also a Neuro Linguistic Master Practitioner and a qualified coach. To download her free management ecourse, go to http://www.graduatesolutions.co.uk
Having a High "Havingness Quotient" - By Lynn Scheurell
"You will become as small as your controlling desire; as great as your dominant aspiration." - James Allen
Imagine that you've gotten everything you ever wanted -- the life partner, the house, the car, the clothes, the physique, the friends, the money, the lifestyle...
Now what?
If you're like most humans, it's likely that you'll sabotage yourself in "having it all." We here in the Western world are actually socialized to be in continuous striving; that is, we don't know how to have and enjoy everything we've worked for and received because if we have it, our culture says we're not working hard enough, or infers that we don't know what to do if we don't have tangible goals.
Imagine a train chugging up a steep incline, with its engine working hard... when it gets to the top, what does it do? It goes down -- logic says that there's no other way to go. But what if there WAS another way? What if when the train got to the top, it got to cruise along a plateau rather than drop down? If you can now put yourself in that picture as the train, you'll see that you naturally keep working hard (going up) or know how to cope with not having the top (going down); however, you likely don't know how to cruise the topmost plateau you've attained. I call this the "Havingness Quotient." It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it is descriptive.
The higher your "Havingness Quotient," the easier it will be for you to hold on to and enjoy your achievements -- and vice-versa. You might even think of this as "abundance self-esteem." If you have a low "Havingness Quotient," you will proportionately experience the "downside" of what you want and work toward. In that case, you will find yourself comfortably in discomfort as you "re-tread" what you've always done. So how do you increase your "Havingness Quotient"?
Three Things You Can Do Today:
1. Ask for more than enough. Often people don't think big enough in terms of their own abundance (including fees for their services!). Our limited thinking and expectations will keep us in the work hard mode, chugging up our personal hills. Ask for the most you think you can have -- and then double it! The first time you do that, it can be mind-blowing... one of my clients asked for $4,000 in income monthly, which when doubled, became $8,000. This was inconceivable to her, until she reconciled her books the next month -- she discovered she actually generated $9,000 that month for the first time in her life!
2. Watch where you are giving. We cannot enjoy our own "Havingness Quotient" if we give away all the good stuff. Part of the reason that we are here is to ENJOY what we are creating. Now, that's not to say you shouldn't share -- I'm all about that! However, if you are a chronic over-giver (and I know that one personally!), you need to consider where you are leaking what you have because it could be draining your "Havingness," which keeps you in overwork and less joyful for your own benefit.
3. Look at your self-sabotage patterns. The good news about being human is that we can be our own observers. We can actually see where we are tripping ourselves up if we look closely enough because it's a familiar pattern. I see clients who go into "drama" or focus on external "noise" because they don't know how to handle abundance. Others will go 90 percent of the way and then quit on a nearly successful project, and I've seen others yet who stay in the preparation for the preparation of the preparation... you get the idea. They're not moving forward. It could be that people don't know how to be if they're not striving anymore -- they just don't know what to expect if they have it all. Look at where you are potentially sabotaging your own "Havingness."
My intention is that you receive and enjoy all that you want and more... because if you increase your "Havingness Quotient," you are living on purpose and you're setting a positive example, which will ultimately benefit everyone around you.
About the Author:
Lynn Scheurell, Creative Catalyst, works with soul-driven entrepreneurs to create a livelihood from their true purpose. This type of business development requires extreme personal clarity in combination with innovation and active implementation of proven business practices. Download a free report to learn "The Seven Deadly Mistakes That Keep Soul-Driven Business Owners from Making Money" at http://www.mycreativecatalyst.com
Imagine that you've gotten everything you ever wanted -- the life partner, the house, the car, the clothes, the physique, the friends, the money, the lifestyle...
Now what?
If you're like most humans, it's likely that you'll sabotage yourself in "having it all." We here in the Western world are actually socialized to be in continuous striving; that is, we don't know how to have and enjoy everything we've worked for and received because if we have it, our culture says we're not working hard enough, or infers that we don't know what to do if we don't have tangible goals.
Imagine a train chugging up a steep incline, with its engine working hard... when it gets to the top, what does it do? It goes down -- logic says that there's no other way to go. But what if there WAS another way? What if when the train got to the top, it got to cruise along a plateau rather than drop down? If you can now put yourself in that picture as the train, you'll see that you naturally keep working hard (going up) or know how to cope with not having the top (going down); however, you likely don't know how to cruise the topmost plateau you've attained. I call this the "Havingness Quotient." It doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it is descriptive.
The higher your "Havingness Quotient," the easier it will be for you to hold on to and enjoy your achievements -- and vice-versa. You might even think of this as "abundance self-esteem." If you have a low "Havingness Quotient," you will proportionately experience the "downside" of what you want and work toward. In that case, you will find yourself comfortably in discomfort as you "re-tread" what you've always done. So how do you increase your "Havingness Quotient"?
Three Things You Can Do Today:
1. Ask for more than enough. Often people don't think big enough in terms of their own abundance (including fees for their services!). Our limited thinking and expectations will keep us in the work hard mode, chugging up our personal hills. Ask for the most you think you can have -- and then double it! The first time you do that, it can be mind-blowing... one of my clients asked for $4,000 in income monthly, which when doubled, became $8,000. This was inconceivable to her, until she reconciled her books the next month -- she discovered she actually generated $9,000 that month for the first time in her life!
2. Watch where you are giving. We cannot enjoy our own "Havingness Quotient" if we give away all the good stuff. Part of the reason that we are here is to ENJOY what we are creating. Now, that's not to say you shouldn't share -- I'm all about that! However, if you are a chronic over-giver (and I know that one personally!), you need to consider where you are leaking what you have because it could be draining your "Havingness," which keeps you in overwork and less joyful for your own benefit.
3. Look at your self-sabotage patterns. The good news about being human is that we can be our own observers. We can actually see where we are tripping ourselves up if we look closely enough because it's a familiar pattern. I see clients who go into "drama" or focus on external "noise" because they don't know how to handle abundance. Others will go 90 percent of the way and then quit on a nearly successful project, and I've seen others yet who stay in the preparation for the preparation of the preparation... you get the idea. They're not moving forward. It could be that people don't know how to be if they're not striving anymore -- they just don't know what to expect if they have it all. Look at where you are potentially sabotaging your own "Havingness."
My intention is that you receive and enjoy all that you want and more... because if you increase your "Havingness Quotient," you are living on purpose and you're setting a positive example, which will ultimately benefit everyone around you.
About the Author:
Lynn Scheurell, Creative Catalyst, works with soul-driven entrepreneurs to create a livelihood from their true purpose. This type of business development requires extreme personal clarity in combination with innovation and active implementation of proven business practices. Download a free report to learn "The Seven Deadly Mistakes That Keep Soul-Driven Business Owners from Making Money" at http://www.mycreativecatalyst.com
YOUR ASPIRATIONS ARE YOUR POSSIBILITIES
The first ingredient of your success is to dream a great dream. You must dream big and think big to be big. High expectation always precedes high achievement.
You're as small as your controlling desires, or as great as your dominant aspirations. Once your mind stretches to a new idea it will never go back to its original dimensions.
If you dream of little goals you can expect little achievement. Dream of big goals and you'll win big success.
Copyright 2008 www.yourdailymotivation.com
You're as small as your controlling desires, or as great as your dominant aspirations. Once your mind stretches to a new idea it will never go back to its original dimensions.
If you dream of little goals you can expect little achievement. Dream of big goals and you'll win big success.
Copyright 2008 www.yourdailymotivation.com
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Finding Happiness - By Melissa Zollo
Imagine being able to handle a challenge, problem, or overcome an obstacle in your life without being in a constant state of distress, panic, rage, or depression.
Would you be happy then?
And does being able to meet, deal, and/or attempt to overcome problems, conflicts, and difficulties have anything to do with increasing your levels of happiness?
Recently, I met a woman who had the luxury of someone else supporting her so that she could stay home, rest, renew, and recharge herself.
Instead, she spent her time worrying about what might go wrong. She was unable to appreciate and enjoy the gift of time. Her thoughts actually reduced her sense of pleasure and fulfillment.
Based on our conversation, she soon realized that her level of awareness repelled happiness. Therefore, the beautiful gift had not acted as a cause or stimulant to increase her sense of self-joy.
I then encountered a man who had been helped through many hard times, unhappy relationships with family members, a financial crisis, and many difficult days with his employer and co-workers.
One would think he'd be so happy and grateful, yet his behavior and conversations mirrored a dampened spirit rather than a happy, grateful spirit.
He lived in a state of distraction and injury. He felt comfortable focusing on crisis.
Again, he had received gifts, but his lack of recognition of them coupled with his misuse of emotion and awareness left him unable to connect with his many positive experiences.
I believe that many of us would deal with the unfinished business of our past and develop emotional resilience if we knew for certain that our body produces a chemistry that is a perfect match to our beliefs.
Science is now documenting what healers and mystics have known for centuries: We are greater than any beliefs we have learned or acquired.
Our awareness of being along with each cell of our body holds the power to heal us.
It is up to the individual to make time to recycle such life-denying emotions such as anger, jealousy, worry, guilt, and hatred into life-affirming feelings of happiness, joy, hopefulness, and love.
Regardless of our family tree, color of our skin, education, religion, or lifestyle, when conditions are right, many limiting and negative memories can be triggered and unwanted mental influences released, igniting us into actions we really do not want to take.
Unless we understand that thought is creative and manifests itself, we will not be inspired to change our mental blueprints, thought patterns, and emotional moods in the moment.
Once we understand the language of our feelings without shame and decide to keep on growing in the direction of honesty, clarity, and joy, we can eliminate many negative expressions from our lives; gain better health; experience peace of mind; find happiness and freedom from enslavement to false error patterns and habits.
It seems that many of us take the long route around the mountain of self-acceptance and self-approval because we have been programmed to live in a toxic sea of mental and emotional poisons.
For some, the cure for being miserable is as simple as resolving what is bothering them.
Through understanding and acceptance of some previously hidden memory or fixed belief, they are restored. They are free to deal, feel, and heal.
Taking inner action opens the door to the present moment, and the journey to joy and happiness begins.
For others, focusing on memories of happiness simply increases their happiness levels.
The best tip I can share and the most valuable thing you will ever do while on your quest for happiness is to take complete control over all of the suggestive elements in your life.
* What are you listening to?
* What are your conversations with others about?
* Is your self-talk success talk?
* Or is everything that makes up your personal environment acting as an excuse for you to perpetuate self-condemnation and pain?
The author John Dryden once said, "First we make our habits and then our habits make us."
Are you in the habit of feeling frustrated and unhappy, or calm and peaceful?
Our level of happiness does not depend upon our possessions or anyone outside of ourselves. It depends entirely upon our inner blueprints, desires, decisions, focus, and connection to our deeper self.
Happiness is directly linked to the thoughts we choose to entertain and how we respond to people and situations we encounter, moment by moment.
If each of us decides to cut short our visits into fearful, angry emotional moods, we will easily shift our attention out of conflict and into resolution.
In time (and with practice) we will prolong our happiness responses, strengthen our identification with uplifting emotional moods, expand our mind, and move into joy-producing energy fields.
There is no one to change but ourselves.
It is up to each of us to enhance our ability to live happily ever after in the here and now and influence the quality of our lives.
Never close a door on a dream -- your dreams are calling you!
About the Author:
Melissa Zollo, imagination and self motivation specialist, is the author of "Discover the Power of Imagination" and "How to Unleash the Power Within and Attract Money" CD audio programs. FREE daily tips and newsletter available at http://www.PresentMemory.com
Would you be happy then?
And does being able to meet, deal, and/or attempt to overcome problems, conflicts, and difficulties have anything to do with increasing your levels of happiness?
Recently, I met a woman who had the luxury of someone else supporting her so that she could stay home, rest, renew, and recharge herself.
Instead, she spent her time worrying about what might go wrong. She was unable to appreciate and enjoy the gift of time. Her thoughts actually reduced her sense of pleasure and fulfillment.
Based on our conversation, she soon realized that her level of awareness repelled happiness. Therefore, the beautiful gift had not acted as a cause or stimulant to increase her sense of self-joy.
I then encountered a man who had been helped through many hard times, unhappy relationships with family members, a financial crisis, and many difficult days with his employer and co-workers.
One would think he'd be so happy and grateful, yet his behavior and conversations mirrored a dampened spirit rather than a happy, grateful spirit.
He lived in a state of distraction and injury. He felt comfortable focusing on crisis.
Again, he had received gifts, but his lack of recognition of them coupled with his misuse of emotion and awareness left him unable to connect with his many positive experiences.
I believe that many of us would deal with the unfinished business of our past and develop emotional resilience if we knew for certain that our body produces a chemistry that is a perfect match to our beliefs.
Science is now documenting what healers and mystics have known for centuries: We are greater than any beliefs we have learned or acquired.
Our awareness of being along with each cell of our body holds the power to heal us.
It is up to the individual to make time to recycle such life-denying emotions such as anger, jealousy, worry, guilt, and hatred into life-affirming feelings of happiness, joy, hopefulness, and love.
Regardless of our family tree, color of our skin, education, religion, or lifestyle, when conditions are right, many limiting and negative memories can be triggered and unwanted mental influences released, igniting us into actions we really do not want to take.
Unless we understand that thought is creative and manifests itself, we will not be inspired to change our mental blueprints, thought patterns, and emotional moods in the moment.
Once we understand the language of our feelings without shame and decide to keep on growing in the direction of honesty, clarity, and joy, we can eliminate many negative expressions from our lives; gain better health; experience peace of mind; find happiness and freedom from enslavement to false error patterns and habits.
It seems that many of us take the long route around the mountain of self-acceptance and self-approval because we have been programmed to live in a toxic sea of mental and emotional poisons.
For some, the cure for being miserable is as simple as resolving what is bothering them.
Through understanding and acceptance of some previously hidden memory or fixed belief, they are restored. They are free to deal, feel, and heal.
Taking inner action opens the door to the present moment, and the journey to joy and happiness begins.
For others, focusing on memories of happiness simply increases their happiness levels.
The best tip I can share and the most valuable thing you will ever do while on your quest for happiness is to take complete control over all of the suggestive elements in your life.
* What are you listening to?
* What are your conversations with others about?
* Is your self-talk success talk?
* Or is everything that makes up your personal environment acting as an excuse for you to perpetuate self-condemnation and pain?
The author John Dryden once said, "First we make our habits and then our habits make us."
Are you in the habit of feeling frustrated and unhappy, or calm and peaceful?
Our level of happiness does not depend upon our possessions or anyone outside of ourselves. It depends entirely upon our inner blueprints, desires, decisions, focus, and connection to our deeper self.
Happiness is directly linked to the thoughts we choose to entertain and how we respond to people and situations we encounter, moment by moment.
If each of us decides to cut short our visits into fearful, angry emotional moods, we will easily shift our attention out of conflict and into resolution.
In time (and with practice) we will prolong our happiness responses, strengthen our identification with uplifting emotional moods, expand our mind, and move into joy-producing energy fields.
There is no one to change but ourselves.
It is up to each of us to enhance our ability to live happily ever after in the here and now and influence the quality of our lives.
Never close a door on a dream -- your dreams are calling you!
About the Author:
Melissa Zollo, imagination and self motivation specialist, is the author of "Discover the Power of Imagination" and "How to Unleash the Power Within and Attract Money" CD audio programs. FREE daily tips and newsletter available at http://www.PresentMemory.com
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Book Excerpt: Twenty Something in the Twenty Something's - By Jeffrey Moore
Maybe it's the second cup of fabulous Tim Horton's coffee, or maybe it's because I just watched "Evan Almighty" (that movie always chokes me up), or maybe it's both. But right now at this very moment, things are very clear to me. I write this today not in a perfect world, but with a perfect understanding of my world. There are things right now that weigh on my heart, trusts that have broken and yet, as Biggie Smalls would say, "It's all good baby baby" especially after taking time to reflect on the following quote from Morgan Freeman, who plays God in "Evan Almighty":
"Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does He give him an opportunity to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does He give them opportunities to love each other?" --Morgan Freeman as God in "Evan Almighty"
This quote alone has reshaped my life and always brings a tear to my eye because of the honesty and self-reflection it provides. If we dare to live our vision, if we dare to create our dreams and reach our potential, then we must be able to see the opportunities that we asked for, and learn the lesson we need. We must learn to let go and allow our own greatness to take over. I know every day I am tested; I know every night I go to bed asking for an ability to reach a new level of success. I have come to realize that this doesn't always come in the form I want it to.
Sometimes it comes in challenges I hate, sometimes it comes in painful break-ups and things I don't want to experience, and sometimes it's great. My message for this chapter is simple -- sometimes in life we get so wrapped up in losses and pain that we can't see the forest for the trees. As Viktor Frankl talks about in his life-changing book, "Man's Search For Meaning," "To invoke an analogy, consider a movie: it consists of thousands upon thousands of individual pictures, and each of them makes sense and carries a meaning, yet the meaning of the whole film cannot be seen before its last sequence is shown." This is a classic painting of big-picture vs. small-picture.
I know that every night I ask to become more successful; I ask to grow and gain experience in life to reach my fullest potential. I understand that what I am actually asking for is an opportunity; I understand that opportunity usually comes in the form of a test, whether it's an opportunity to work on my book and then the phone rings and it's a bunch of friends asking me to come out, or a relationship that fails and leaves me lost. These are opportunities to grow, learn, feel, and experience. Do I always enjoy these opportunities? Of course not! Some of them hurt and push me further than I am willing to go. Opportunity does not always come as you're walking down the street and someone decides you should be a model; opportunity usually comes when we say hi to all the possibilities and use large picture thinking.
About the Author:
Jeff Moore is the author of the books "Twenty Something in the Twenty Something's" and the newly-released "The World is Yours: Turning Vision into Reality."
Jeff started his career by asking himself one question: "How do we teach the youth and adults the most important lessons in life?" The answer was clear -- we teach by inspiring them. Since that time, Jeff has gone on to become an author and professional speaker, working in colleges and corporations teaching audiences goal setting and self-communication techniques. For more information on Jeff Moore, go to http://www.motivatingfutures.com
"Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does He give him an opportunity to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does He give them opportunities to love each other?" --Morgan Freeman as God in "Evan Almighty"
This quote alone has reshaped my life and always brings a tear to my eye because of the honesty and self-reflection it provides. If we dare to live our vision, if we dare to create our dreams and reach our potential, then we must be able to see the opportunities that we asked for, and learn the lesson we need. We must learn to let go and allow our own greatness to take over. I know every day I am tested; I know every night I go to bed asking for an ability to reach a new level of success. I have come to realize that this doesn't always come in the form I want it to.
Sometimes it comes in challenges I hate, sometimes it comes in painful break-ups and things I don't want to experience, and sometimes it's great. My message for this chapter is simple -- sometimes in life we get so wrapped up in losses and pain that we can't see the forest for the trees. As Viktor Frankl talks about in his life-changing book, "Man's Search For Meaning," "To invoke an analogy, consider a movie: it consists of thousands upon thousands of individual pictures, and each of them makes sense and carries a meaning, yet the meaning of the whole film cannot be seen before its last sequence is shown." This is a classic painting of big-picture vs. small-picture.
I know that every night I ask to become more successful; I ask to grow and gain experience in life to reach my fullest potential. I understand that what I am actually asking for is an opportunity; I understand that opportunity usually comes in the form of a test, whether it's an opportunity to work on my book and then the phone rings and it's a bunch of friends asking me to come out, or a relationship that fails and leaves me lost. These are opportunities to grow, learn, feel, and experience. Do I always enjoy these opportunities? Of course not! Some of them hurt and push me further than I am willing to go. Opportunity does not always come as you're walking down the street and someone decides you should be a model; opportunity usually comes when we say hi to all the possibilities and use large picture thinking.
About the Author:
Jeff Moore is the author of the books "Twenty Something in the Twenty Something's" and the newly-released "The World is Yours: Turning Vision into Reality."
Jeff started his career by asking himself one question: "How do we teach the youth and adults the most important lessons in life?" The answer was clear -- we teach by inspiring them. Since that time, Jeff has gone on to become an author and professional speaker, working in colleges and corporations teaching audiences goal setting and self-communication techniques. For more information on Jeff Moore, go to http://www.motivatingfutures.com
Friday, March 21, 2008
Why The Elephants Don't Run - by Jim Donovan
A number of years ago, I had the rather unique experience of being backstage in Madison Square Garden, in New York, during the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus. To say the least, it was a fascinating experience. I was able to walk around looking at the lions, tigers, giraffes and all the other circus animals. As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at any time, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not. I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They think the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."
I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they could not, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? How many of us are being held back by old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us? Have you avoided trying something new because of a limiting belief? Worse, how many of us are being held back by someone else's limiting beliefs? Do you tell yourself you can't sell because you're not a salesperson?
Particularly in starting or running a business, we are cautioned not to take risks, usually by well intentioned friends and family. How many of us have heard, "You can't do that?" These are the dream stealers who, due to their own limiting beliefs, will attempt to discourage you from living your dreams. You must ignore them at all cost! I am not suggesting that you should not seek advice from qualified individuals and mentors, but that you avoid like the plague, being swayed by the limiting beliefs of others, especially people who are not in their own business.
Challenge your own limiting beliefs by questioning them. If you begin to question a belief, you automatically weaken it. The more you question your limiting beliefs, the more they are weakened. It's like kicking the legs out from under a stool. Once you weaken one leg, the stool begins to lose its balance and fall. Think back to a time when you "sold" someone on yourself. We are selling all the time. You have to sell your ideas to your spouse, your children, and your employees - even your banker. Maybe, as a child, you sold Girl Scout cookies or magazine subscriptions to raise money for your school team. That was selling too!
Once you realize you are, in fact, a capable salesperson, you have weakened that old belief and began to replace it with a new, empowering one. Look for references to support the new beliefs you want to cultivate. As in the example of the stool, you want to reinforce your beliefs by adding more and more "legs" to them. Find people who have accomplished what you want to accomplish, discover what they did and model their behavior. Remember back to times in your past when you were successful and use that experience to propel yourself forward. If your challenge is in sales, read sales books and listen to tapes or attend sales seminars. This is a critical area of your business. One that cannot be undermined by limiting beliefs.
There is a technique called "fake it until you make it" that works well. I am not suggesting you live in denial, just that you begin to see yourself succeeding. Visualize your successes. See yourself vividly in your minds eye making the sale and reaching your goals. Affirm, over and over, that you are succeeding.
Write your affirmations daily. Of course, make sure you take the appropriate action. As it says in the Bible, "Faith without works is dead."
Remember that your subconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imaginary. Before you go on a sales call, take a moment and mentally rehearse the scene, just like actors and athletes do. Tell yourself, "I'm a great salesperson." Do this over and over, especially just before a sales call. See the sale being made. See and feel the success. You will be pleasantly amazed at the result. Don't take my word for it. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
It has been said throughout history that what ever you believe, with conviction, you can achieve. Don't be like the poor elephant and go through your life stuck because of a limiting belief you were given or developed years ago. Take charge of your life and live it to the fullest. You deserve the best!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jim Donovan is the author of the International bestsellers, Handbook To A Happier Life and This Is Your Life, Not A Dress Rehearsal. He is also the founder and CEO of www.FreelanceHelp.com, an Internet network for creative professionals. His articles, books and a free subscription to his newsletter are available from www.jimdonovan.com.
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They think the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free."
I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they could not, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? How many of us are being held back by old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us? Have you avoided trying something new because of a limiting belief? Worse, how many of us are being held back by someone else's limiting beliefs? Do you tell yourself you can't sell because you're not a salesperson?
Particularly in starting or running a business, we are cautioned not to take risks, usually by well intentioned friends and family. How many of us have heard, "You can't do that?" These are the dream stealers who, due to their own limiting beliefs, will attempt to discourage you from living your dreams. You must ignore them at all cost! I am not suggesting that you should not seek advice from qualified individuals and mentors, but that you avoid like the plague, being swayed by the limiting beliefs of others, especially people who are not in their own business.
Challenge your own limiting beliefs by questioning them. If you begin to question a belief, you automatically weaken it. The more you question your limiting beliefs, the more they are weakened. It's like kicking the legs out from under a stool. Once you weaken one leg, the stool begins to lose its balance and fall. Think back to a time when you "sold" someone on yourself. We are selling all the time. You have to sell your ideas to your spouse, your children, and your employees - even your banker. Maybe, as a child, you sold Girl Scout cookies or magazine subscriptions to raise money for your school team. That was selling too!
Once you realize you are, in fact, a capable salesperson, you have weakened that old belief and began to replace it with a new, empowering one. Look for references to support the new beliefs you want to cultivate. As in the example of the stool, you want to reinforce your beliefs by adding more and more "legs" to them. Find people who have accomplished what you want to accomplish, discover what they did and model their behavior. Remember back to times in your past when you were successful and use that experience to propel yourself forward. If your challenge is in sales, read sales books and listen to tapes or attend sales seminars. This is a critical area of your business. One that cannot be undermined by limiting beliefs.
There is a technique called "fake it until you make it" that works well. I am not suggesting you live in denial, just that you begin to see yourself succeeding. Visualize your successes. See yourself vividly in your minds eye making the sale and reaching your goals. Affirm, over and over, that you are succeeding.
Write your affirmations daily. Of course, make sure you take the appropriate action. As it says in the Bible, "Faith without works is dead."
Remember that your subconscious mind does not know the difference between real and imaginary. Before you go on a sales call, take a moment and mentally rehearse the scene, just like actors and athletes do. Tell yourself, "I'm a great salesperson." Do this over and over, especially just before a sales call. See the sale being made. See and feel the success. You will be pleasantly amazed at the result. Don't take my word for it. Give it a try. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
It has been said throughout history that what ever you believe, with conviction, you can achieve. Don't be like the poor elephant and go through your life stuck because of a limiting belief you were given or developed years ago. Take charge of your life and live it to the fullest. You deserve the best!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jim Donovan is the author of the International bestsellers, Handbook To A Happier Life and This Is Your Life, Not A Dress Rehearsal. He is also the founder and CEO of www.FreelanceHelp.com, an Internet network for creative professionals. His articles, books and a free subscription to his newsletter are available from www.jimdonovan.com.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Success Can Be Learned...It's Not Just For The Gifted! - by David Mason
Are you one of those people who think that success is only for the gifted? Or better yet, that really successful people are lucky? Or that everything they have today was given to them on a silver spoon?
Here's the deal -- while that may be true in some cases, it would be a very few. Success is not about luck or gifts or handouts. I have been saying for years that "success is based on persistency and consistency, not magic."
What this means is that success comes from persistently doing those things we choose to do, on a consistent basis. We all have the potential to be more successful, to accomplish more with our lives. It is not so important what you choose; it is that you choose that makes the difference.
We all experience this world, this life, filtered through our own eyes and our own files that we call morals, ethics, principles, and core beliefs. We may experience the same event, but what we saw, heard, or felt will be different for each person. The reason is that we are all individuals. This is what makes the world such an interesting place. The interpretations of events, the opinions, ideas, ideals are all based on individual interpretations of the unfolding of events before us.
Now I could write an entire book on this subject, but that is not my intention here. What I want to establish is that, ultimately, what we experience in life is the result of how we decide or choose to interpret events.
Did you catch that? I said our decision or choice of how to interpret events. You see life is based on decisions or choices. I am sure you have heard one or several of the analogies about the two siblings that experienced some traumatic event in their youth. One grows up to be a criminal and the other a very successful member of society. They grew up so differently because of how they chose to interpret and internalize the event from earlier in life. We, just like the siblings I just mentioned, are all the products of our decisions and choices.
You do want to be successful, don't you? I'll give you a hint; it starts with deciding or choosing to be successful.
Now like I said earlier, I don't think that success is based on magic. So I am not about to tell you that all you have to do to become successful is decide you want to be successful and boom, you will be. I wish that was how it works, but the truth is... it's not. It takes more than that; it takes work. I hope I didn't scare you off with the "W" word. But anything worth having is worth working toward.
For example, when I left my career as a Research Biologist to start a business, I didn't give myself the luxury of failure. You see, close to 90% of small businesses go out of business within the first five years. I was not about to give myself this crutch, that if things didn't work out I could fall back on that statistic to justify why I didn't succeed. I put everything I had into making it work. I spent my first year making sure everyone in my industry knew my name and my company name. I wanted and I achieved 'top of mind' within my specific area. It was tough in those early years, I mean really tough. But I went on to build a very successful business, I mean really successful. I was able to sell that business for a very respectful amount in that industry, something that others struggle to do.
Walt Disney said, "While the worriers are worrying, the planners are planning, and the accountants are figuring out why we can't afford it, I'm busy getting it started." I am sure you would agree that he was an extremely successful person, who knew the value of making the decision to get started and was not afraid of work.
It's important to understand that success can be learned; we are not born successful, and we know it's not just for a chosen few.
Any human behavior expert will agree that most people operate at only a small percentage of their true potential. As a result, they realize only a small percentage of their potential success. You've probably heard this yourself.
Through personal and professional performance development, it is possible to increase your successes, and in turn, your quality of life.
For instance:
* When you focus on developing and growing your business, your income grows.
* When you work smarter and not harder, you can accomplish more in less time.
* If you have more free time, you can spend it with your family and friends; in turn your relationships blossom.
* Now you can start to focus on your health and fitness, and improvements are not far behind.
* As a result, your self-esteem and your self-confidence will increase.
You can obviously see how this cycle repeats itself and the results start compounding. This is Performance Development.
Toss that around in your head for a bit and you'll agree with me that by focusing on improvements in one area of your life, you can, and surely will, see improvements in other areas of your life as well.
A few years ago, I decided to spend more time focusing on my own personal and professional development than I ever had before. I attended more seminars. I took more courses and certifications. I invested in my own professional coach. I was able to take off more time with my family than I ever had before. We even bought a cottage on the Northumberland Strait in Nova Scotia, and we spend a great deal of time there throughout the summer and fall each year.
All of this was done during normal revenue-generating time in my business, yet I was still able to significantly increase my business revenues.
I think you will agree with me when I say that performance development makes a huge difference in both your personal and professional lives. Let's not forget that none of this has to be complex but can be very simple. Consistent tasks performed over time add up to positive results in your personal life or business.
On the road to success, we must repeatedly do things that motivate us and create an impact. Ongoing support is also necessary because it is what drives us to keep moving forward...to grow and to do those things we may not have done because we just didn't feel like it, or were uncomfortable doing.
Don't let procrastination, hesitation, or fear stop you from improving your life and hold you back from your success.
Make the decision to start improving your personal and professional lives. Decide right now that you are going to do what it takes to grow personally. Get excited about taking your business or your career to a new level.
Make a commitment to continuous learning. Spend at least one hour every day doing something that nurtures your heart and nourishes your mind.
To your success...
About the Author:
David Mason is president of Mason Performance Development Inc., a Speaker, Trainer, Performance Development Coach, and internationally best-selling author.
Find out more about David and how he can improve your results at http://www.YourBigProfits.com
Here's the deal -- while that may be true in some cases, it would be a very few. Success is not about luck or gifts or handouts. I have been saying for years that "success is based on persistency and consistency, not magic."
What this means is that success comes from persistently doing those things we choose to do, on a consistent basis. We all have the potential to be more successful, to accomplish more with our lives. It is not so important what you choose; it is that you choose that makes the difference.
We all experience this world, this life, filtered through our own eyes and our own files that we call morals, ethics, principles, and core beliefs. We may experience the same event, but what we saw, heard, or felt will be different for each person. The reason is that we are all individuals. This is what makes the world such an interesting place. The interpretations of events, the opinions, ideas, ideals are all based on individual interpretations of the unfolding of events before us.
Now I could write an entire book on this subject, but that is not my intention here. What I want to establish is that, ultimately, what we experience in life is the result of how we decide or choose to interpret events.
Did you catch that? I said our decision or choice of how to interpret events. You see life is based on decisions or choices. I am sure you have heard one or several of the analogies about the two siblings that experienced some traumatic event in their youth. One grows up to be a criminal and the other a very successful member of society. They grew up so differently because of how they chose to interpret and internalize the event from earlier in life. We, just like the siblings I just mentioned, are all the products of our decisions and choices.
You do want to be successful, don't you? I'll give you a hint; it starts with deciding or choosing to be successful.
Now like I said earlier, I don't think that success is based on magic. So I am not about to tell you that all you have to do to become successful is decide you want to be successful and boom, you will be. I wish that was how it works, but the truth is... it's not. It takes more than that; it takes work. I hope I didn't scare you off with the "W" word. But anything worth having is worth working toward.
For example, when I left my career as a Research Biologist to start a business, I didn't give myself the luxury of failure. You see, close to 90% of small businesses go out of business within the first five years. I was not about to give myself this crutch, that if things didn't work out I could fall back on that statistic to justify why I didn't succeed. I put everything I had into making it work. I spent my first year making sure everyone in my industry knew my name and my company name. I wanted and I achieved 'top of mind' within my specific area. It was tough in those early years, I mean really tough. But I went on to build a very successful business, I mean really successful. I was able to sell that business for a very respectful amount in that industry, something that others struggle to do.
Walt Disney said, "While the worriers are worrying, the planners are planning, and the accountants are figuring out why we can't afford it, I'm busy getting it started." I am sure you would agree that he was an extremely successful person, who knew the value of making the decision to get started and was not afraid of work.
It's important to understand that success can be learned; we are not born successful, and we know it's not just for a chosen few.
Any human behavior expert will agree that most people operate at only a small percentage of their true potential. As a result, they realize only a small percentage of their potential success. You've probably heard this yourself.
Through personal and professional performance development, it is possible to increase your successes, and in turn, your quality of life.
For instance:
* When you focus on developing and growing your business, your income grows.
* When you work smarter and not harder, you can accomplish more in less time.
* If you have more free time, you can spend it with your family and friends; in turn your relationships blossom.
* Now you can start to focus on your health and fitness, and improvements are not far behind.
* As a result, your self-esteem and your self-confidence will increase.
You can obviously see how this cycle repeats itself and the results start compounding. This is Performance Development.
Toss that around in your head for a bit and you'll agree with me that by focusing on improvements in one area of your life, you can, and surely will, see improvements in other areas of your life as well.
A few years ago, I decided to spend more time focusing on my own personal and professional development than I ever had before. I attended more seminars. I took more courses and certifications. I invested in my own professional coach. I was able to take off more time with my family than I ever had before. We even bought a cottage on the Northumberland Strait in Nova Scotia, and we spend a great deal of time there throughout the summer and fall each year.
All of this was done during normal revenue-generating time in my business, yet I was still able to significantly increase my business revenues.
I think you will agree with me when I say that performance development makes a huge difference in both your personal and professional lives. Let's not forget that none of this has to be complex but can be very simple. Consistent tasks performed over time add up to positive results in your personal life or business.
On the road to success, we must repeatedly do things that motivate us and create an impact. Ongoing support is also necessary because it is what drives us to keep moving forward...to grow and to do those things we may not have done because we just didn't feel like it, or were uncomfortable doing.
Don't let procrastination, hesitation, or fear stop you from improving your life and hold you back from your success.
Make the decision to start improving your personal and professional lives. Decide right now that you are going to do what it takes to grow personally. Get excited about taking your business or your career to a new level.
Make a commitment to continuous learning. Spend at least one hour every day doing something that nurtures your heart and nourishes your mind.
To your success...
About the Author:
David Mason is president of Mason Performance Development Inc., a Speaker, Trainer, Performance Development Coach, and internationally best-selling author.
Find out more about David and how he can improve your results at http://www.YourBigProfits.com
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