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Dealing With Difficult People
We encounter a wide variety of people throughout our lives. Many of them touch us in some positive way. Occasionally, however, we encounter those individuals who, for whatever reason, can be difficult to deal with. Perhaps this person is a colleague or close friend that you feel is deliberately being obtuse, inviting in trouble, or doing foolish things that you find annoying. Sometimes, it may be possible to appease or avoid those people short term. Dealing with them in the long term, however, can be exhausting. The behavior of difficult people can even make you feel like losing your temper, but keep your cool. Staying calm is the first step, especially when you are ready to confront them.
Avoiding a difficult person can improve impossible and not in your best interest, especially if you live or work together. Likewise, attempts to steer clear of them can become a source of stress and anxiety when they are a part of your social circle. When this is the case, it is best to kindly address the problem. Try not to let their actions or mood affect you. You also may want to try expressing your feelings directly. Tell the person how their actions make you feel, and encourage them toward a more positive course of action. Speak assertively, but respectfully, and don't portray yourself as a victim. Another approach for dealing with a difficult individual is to gain a deeper understanding of who that person is. Ask them why they do or say certain things. If you disagree with their motives, question them further so you can try and discover the root of their behavior. In doing so, you may be able to gently shift their perceptions, or at least help them understand your point of view.
You may want to think about what you want to say to a difficult person before you actually talk to them. If you can, avoid being judgmental or defensive, and try to approach the conversation objectively. If the person is open to the idea, try coming to an agreement. If approaching them fails, let it go and move on. There is no reason to let a difficult person or situation have power over your state of being. Remember that a lot can be accomplished when you take the time to listen and offer up alternative perspectives.
What do you think?
Friday, September 30, 2005
A Simple Act of Kindness
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- By Eddie Gallagher
My heart was heavier than I thought could ever be possible. I was sitting in the ICU waiting room at 3:00 in the morning, after my son was involved in a car accident. He was fighting for his life. His daughter, my only grandchild had tragically died in the accident. My thoughts, fears and grief kept me from sleep.
As I sat there, asking God why, he revealed his grace and peace to me. There was man who I later found out had fought a 7 year battle with cancer, lost his wife to cancer, and had his own son in ICU in a coma. Yet this man came over to my wife and me and asked us if we needed a blanket or pillow.
The hospital in Ft. Worth, Texas allowed people to literally "camp out" in the ICU waiting room, and since we were new on the block, we didn't know the ropes. This man, who was and is still carrying a huge burden, reached out and put his faith into action, even in the midst of his own despair. God revealed to me, through this man's simple act of kindness, that he is sufficient to see us through anything. My son did survive, and we did bury our one-year-old granddaughter.
Through it all, I have seen God manifest himself, and offer hope to us, even in our darkest hour. This simple act of kindness proved to me that God can work through us, even when our burdens are weighing us down.
About the Author:
Eddie Gallagher is a native Texan. If you enjoyed his story let him know at eddieg@gamcousa.com
- By Eddie Gallagher
My heart was heavier than I thought could ever be possible. I was sitting in the ICU waiting room at 3:00 in the morning, after my son was involved in a car accident. He was fighting for his life. His daughter, my only grandchild had tragically died in the accident. My thoughts, fears and grief kept me from sleep.
As I sat there, asking God why, he revealed his grace and peace to me. There was man who I later found out had fought a 7 year battle with cancer, lost his wife to cancer, and had his own son in ICU in a coma. Yet this man came over to my wife and me and asked us if we needed a blanket or pillow.
The hospital in Ft. Worth, Texas allowed people to literally "camp out" in the ICU waiting room, and since we were new on the block, we didn't know the ropes. This man, who was and is still carrying a huge burden, reached out and put his faith into action, even in the midst of his own despair. God revealed to me, through this man's simple act of kindness, that he is sufficient to see us through anything. My son did survive, and we did bury our one-year-old granddaughter.
Through it all, I have seen God manifest himself, and offer hope to us, even in our darkest hour. This simple act of kindness proved to me that God can work through us, even when our burdens are weighing us down.
About the Author:
Eddie Gallagher is a native Texan. If you enjoyed his story let him know at eddieg@gamcousa.com
BELIEF MAKES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE
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If you want to succeed, you must first believe that you can succeed.
The only thing that stands between you and what you want from life, is the will to try it and the faith to believe that it's possible.
The only true limit to your realization of tomorrow will be your doubts of today. The moment you carry the conviction of belief, in that moment your dream will become reality.
If you think you can, you can.
©2005 by Max Steingart
If you want to succeed, you must first believe that you can succeed.
The only thing that stands between you and what you want from life, is the will to try it and the faith to believe that it's possible.
The only true limit to your realization of tomorrow will be your doubts of today. The moment you carry the conviction of belief, in that moment your dream will become reality.
If you think you can, you can.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Harmony With Nature
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Organic Earth
The earth is our nurturer, giving us life, land, and sustenance. Because of population growth, the demand for her gifts is ever increasing and simply living from day to day can now have a negative impact on the balance of nature. The byproduct of many needs is the release of toxic substances into the water, air, and soil. One way to minimize your impact on the earth is to try and use organic products as much as possible and to garden organically yourself if you have space. Though organic fruits and vegetables have become popular, the term "organic" can apply to any product produced from natural substances, including cloth and beauty items. Organic farming promotes a healthy earth, clean water, and healthy people.
Organic products are created using natural ingredients that were grown without chemical pesticides and fertilizers; haven't been treated with preservatives, hormones, or medicines; and don't contain artificial additives. Using organic products whenever possible not only helps lessen your exposure to harmful chemicals but also helps the health of mother earth as well. Organic farming uses helpful insects to combat pests and natural fertilizers like compost and manure, or crop rotation, to keep vital nutrients in the soil. Healthy soil contains microbes beneficial to plants and thick earthy hummus that retains water, reducing the need for artificial irrigation and the rate of top soil erosion. The benefits of using organic products go far beyond health concerns. Organic farming promotes necessary biodiversity through seed collecting and by encouraging wildlife to thrive alongside humans.
We have only just recently begun to understand the effects of chemical-intensive growing on the environment. Organic farming of vegetables, cotton, or any other crop, is a gentle way to reap the earth's bounty and is conducive to a healthy ecosystem. Sometimes the results are slightly more expensive, but the environmental and health costs can be much higher and increased demand for such products can help to lower prices. Your use of organic products encourages a world where birds and insects help control pests, wildlife is an essential part of farming, and nutrition takes precedence over mass production.
What do you think?
Organic Earth
The earth is our nurturer, giving us life, land, and sustenance. Because of population growth, the demand for her gifts is ever increasing and simply living from day to day can now have a negative impact on the balance of nature. The byproduct of many needs is the release of toxic substances into the water, air, and soil. One way to minimize your impact on the earth is to try and use organic products as much as possible and to garden organically yourself if you have space. Though organic fruits and vegetables have become popular, the term "organic" can apply to any product produced from natural substances, including cloth and beauty items. Organic farming promotes a healthy earth, clean water, and healthy people.
Organic products are created using natural ingredients that were grown without chemical pesticides and fertilizers; haven't been treated with preservatives, hormones, or medicines; and don't contain artificial additives. Using organic products whenever possible not only helps lessen your exposure to harmful chemicals but also helps the health of mother earth as well. Organic farming uses helpful insects to combat pests and natural fertilizers like compost and manure, or crop rotation, to keep vital nutrients in the soil. Healthy soil contains microbes beneficial to plants and thick earthy hummus that retains water, reducing the need for artificial irrigation and the rate of top soil erosion. The benefits of using organic products go far beyond health concerns. Organic farming promotes necessary biodiversity through seed collecting and by encouraging wildlife to thrive alongside humans.
We have only just recently begun to understand the effects of chemical-intensive growing on the environment. Organic farming of vegetables, cotton, or any other crop, is a gentle way to reap the earth's bounty and is conducive to a healthy ecosystem. Sometimes the results are slightly more expensive, but the environmental and health costs can be much higher and increased demand for such products can help to lower prices. Your use of organic products encourages a world where birds and insects help control pests, wildlife is an essential part of farming, and nutrition takes precedence over mass production.
What do you think?
Two Days We Should Not Worry About
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- By Unknown Author
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.
This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live but one day at a time.
- Unknown Author
- By Unknown Author
There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.
One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed; we cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever.
The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance; Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet to be born.
This leaves only one day, Today. Any person can fight the battle of just one day. It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad, it is the remorse or bitterness of something which happened Yesterday and the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live but one day at a time.
- Unknown Author
THERE ARE NO SHORT CUTS TO SUCCESS
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Whatever you want in life, you must give up something to get it. The greater the value, the greater the sacrifice required of you. Everything has a price.
There's a price to pay if you want to make things better, and a price to pay for just leaving things as they are.
Nothing worthwhile ever comes easily. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last. Use your imagination more than your memory to achieve success.
There is no success at bargain basement prices. The highway to success is a toll road.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Whatever you want in life, you must give up something to get it. The greater the value, the greater the sacrifice required of you. Everything has a price.
There's a price to pay if you want to make things better, and a price to pay for just leaving things as they are.
Nothing worthwhile ever comes easily. Work, continuous work and hard work, is the only way to accomplish results that last. Use your imagination more than your memory to achieve success.
There is no success at bargain basement prices. The highway to success is a toll road.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Healthful Slumber
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The Importance Of Sleep
When life gets busy, sleep is often the first activity that we sacrifice. Considered a luxury by many busy people, sleep is actually as vital to sustaining a balanced life as are breathing, eating, and drinking. Getting sufficient sleep can be a potent energizer, just as not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling drained and sluggish. While eight hours is the average amount of sleep most adults should generally aim for, the right amount of sleep varies for each person. Some people may thrive on just four hours, while others don't feel well rested unless they've slept for ten hours. How much we sleep also varies, depending upon where we are in life. Young people often need more sleep, while older people may need less. The benefits of sleep always stay the same. Regular and consistent periods of wakefulness and sleep are key ingredients to fostering a healthy body and a clear mind. It is during sleep that your body renews itself.
The ability to forgo sleep is considered by some to be an asset. But while it may seem that the nighttime hours can be better used for more productive activities, sleep in itself is extremely productive. During sleep, your body and psyche are both regaining their strength for the coming day. You may even have the unique opportunity to explore the hidden recesses of your personality while you dream. Meanwhile, your long-term memories are reinforced.
Many cultures engage in an afternoon siesta. Taking a nap is refreshing and can increase both productivity and creativity. Author Lewis Carroll is said to have conceived his idea for Alice in Wonderland while dreaming. A good night's sleep also has been known to bring with it the gifts of clarity, wisdom, and a fresh perspective. Even the ancient Greeks thought of sleep as a gift from the gods. Give yourself the gift of peaceful slumber and you will likely find yourself feeling alert, refreshed, and ready for life's challenges. You may also find yourself feeling more centered, thoughtful, and aware throughout the day so you can live your full potential.
What do you think?
The Importance Of Sleep
When life gets busy, sleep is often the first activity that we sacrifice. Considered a luxury by many busy people, sleep is actually as vital to sustaining a balanced life as are breathing, eating, and drinking. Getting sufficient sleep can be a potent energizer, just as not getting enough sleep can leave you feeling drained and sluggish. While eight hours is the average amount of sleep most adults should generally aim for, the right amount of sleep varies for each person. Some people may thrive on just four hours, while others don't feel well rested unless they've slept for ten hours. How much we sleep also varies, depending upon where we are in life. Young people often need more sleep, while older people may need less. The benefits of sleep always stay the same. Regular and consistent periods of wakefulness and sleep are key ingredients to fostering a healthy body and a clear mind. It is during sleep that your body renews itself.
The ability to forgo sleep is considered by some to be an asset. But while it may seem that the nighttime hours can be better used for more productive activities, sleep in itself is extremely productive. During sleep, your body and psyche are both regaining their strength for the coming day. You may even have the unique opportunity to explore the hidden recesses of your personality while you dream. Meanwhile, your long-term memories are reinforced.
Many cultures engage in an afternoon siesta. Taking a nap is refreshing and can increase both productivity and creativity. Author Lewis Carroll is said to have conceived his idea for Alice in Wonderland while dreaming. A good night's sleep also has been known to bring with it the gifts of clarity, wisdom, and a fresh perspective. Even the ancient Greeks thought of sleep as a gift from the gods. Give yourself the gift of peaceful slumber and you will likely find yourself feeling alert, refreshed, and ready for life's challenges. You may also find yourself feeling more centered, thoughtful, and aware throughout the day so you can live your full potential.
What do you think?
4 Steps to Being More Assertive
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– By Dr. Tony Fiore
Forty-five-year-old Judy revealed in an anger management class that she was constantly angry at her husband. When asked why, she revealed that her aged mother lives next door and she always felt conflicted whether to spend time with her husband or her mother after work.
She loved them both, but resented her husband's becoming demanding and upset when she spent needed time with her mother instead of being with him. Judy revealed that she dealt with the situation by ignoring her husband when he expressed displeasure - with disastrous results. These included constant bickering and tension in the home as well as emotional distance from each other.
How much better the outcome would have been had Judy used basic skills of assertive communication.
What is assertive communication?
It is a way to communicate to your family your rights, feelings and needs - but in a good way. It is a method of letting family members know where you stand on things and what your limits and boundaries are.
Assertive communication allows you to clarify communication and stand up for yourself without making things worse or getting a negative result or response from your loved ones.
Four Steps to Assertive Communication:
Step 1 - Send clear messages
Turns out Judy had nevër clearly told her husband how she felt when he put pressure on her to spend time with him instead of her mother. When she did discuss it, she hemmed, hawed, and stammered with almost no eye contact.
As a result her husband was not getting a clear message. To communicate clearly, look at your posture and your facial expressions, as well as your hand and arm movements. Pay special attention to your tone of voice which can say volumes beyond your words.
Step 2 - Learn how to listen
Assertive people have developed their listening skills. While hearing is done with your ears, true listening is done with your heart. To be a better communicator, start by becoming a better listener.
Step 3 - Start the conversation with "I feel" rather than "you should."
Words have tremendous power to determine how other people experience us, and how they respond to an issue.
For this reason, people with good assertive communication skills focus on the problem behavior (and not the character of the person), stick to the point, don't use labels, and make "I" statements rather than "you" statements.
Judy tried this with her husband and it worked very well. Hëre is what she said: "Honey, I love you and want to be with you, but I also need to be with my mother nöw. Could you get along without me for an hour a night? I'll try to always be back by 8:30 p.m."
Step 4 - Acknowledge your part in the conflict or issue
Anger is often an escalating process, involving two people who create a negative feeling in each other, sometimes instantly and sometimes over a long period of time.
It is natural to blame another family member entirely for the problem, especially when we are angry or in a defensive mode.
But once we return to normal, the assertive communicator is able to accept some of the responsibility for the conflict. This acceptance and acknowledgement of your contribution to the problem is an indication of emotional maturity and can create an entirely different atmosphere between conflicting family members.
Try saying the following things to promote communication:
- My reactions were too extreme. I'm sorry.
- Even though I still feel I was right about the issue, my reaction wasn't right and I apologize.
- I nevër thought of things that way.
- Let me start again in a different way.
- I can see my part in all this.
To Judy's delight, when she practiced saying some of these things to her husband in a loving way, he began changing too. Almost immediately, he became less demanding, more understanding, and more aligned with her so both of them could better care for her aging mother.
2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.
About the Author:
Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training, and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his frëe monthly newsletter, "Taming The Anger Bee," at http://www.angercoach.com
– By Dr. Tony Fiore
Forty-five-year-old Judy revealed in an anger management class that she was constantly angry at her husband. When asked why, she revealed that her aged mother lives next door and she always felt conflicted whether to spend time with her husband or her mother after work.
She loved them both, but resented her husband's becoming demanding and upset when she spent needed time with her mother instead of being with him. Judy revealed that she dealt with the situation by ignoring her husband when he expressed displeasure - with disastrous results. These included constant bickering and tension in the home as well as emotional distance from each other.
How much better the outcome would have been had Judy used basic skills of assertive communication.
What is assertive communication?
It is a way to communicate to your family your rights, feelings and needs - but in a good way. It is a method of letting family members know where you stand on things and what your limits and boundaries are.
Assertive communication allows you to clarify communication and stand up for yourself without making things worse or getting a negative result or response from your loved ones.
Four Steps to Assertive Communication:
Step 1 - Send clear messages
Turns out Judy had nevër clearly told her husband how she felt when he put pressure on her to spend time with him instead of her mother. When she did discuss it, she hemmed, hawed, and stammered with almost no eye contact.
As a result her husband was not getting a clear message. To communicate clearly, look at your posture and your facial expressions, as well as your hand and arm movements. Pay special attention to your tone of voice which can say volumes beyond your words.
Step 2 - Learn how to listen
Assertive people have developed their listening skills. While hearing is done with your ears, true listening is done with your heart. To be a better communicator, start by becoming a better listener.
Step 3 - Start the conversation with "I feel" rather than "you should."
Words have tremendous power to determine how other people experience us, and how they respond to an issue.
For this reason, people with good assertive communication skills focus on the problem behavior (and not the character of the person), stick to the point, don't use labels, and make "I" statements rather than "you" statements.
Judy tried this with her husband and it worked very well. Hëre is what she said: "Honey, I love you and want to be with you, but I also need to be with my mother nöw. Could you get along without me for an hour a night? I'll try to always be back by 8:30 p.m."
Step 4 - Acknowledge your part in the conflict or issue
Anger is often an escalating process, involving two people who create a negative feeling in each other, sometimes instantly and sometimes over a long period of time.
It is natural to blame another family member entirely for the problem, especially when we are angry or in a defensive mode.
But once we return to normal, the assertive communicator is able to accept some of the responsibility for the conflict. This acceptance and acknowledgement of your contribution to the problem is an indication of emotional maturity and can create an entirely different atmosphere between conflicting family members.
Try saying the following things to promote communication:
- My reactions were too extreme. I'm sorry.
- Even though I still feel I was right about the issue, my reaction wasn't right and I apologize.
- I nevër thought of things that way.
- Let me start again in a different way.
- I can see my part in all this.
To Judy's delight, when she practiced saying some of these things to her husband in a loving way, he began changing too. Almost immediately, he became less demanding, more understanding, and more aligned with her so both of them could better care for her aging mother.
2005 © Dr. Tony Fiore All rights reserved.
About the Author:
Dr. Tony Fiore is a So. California licensed psychologist and anger management trainer. His company, The Anger Coach, provides anger and stress management programs, training, and products to individuals, couples, and the workplace. Sign up for his frëe monthly newsletter, "Taming The Anger Bee," at http://www.angercoach.com
TO CHOOSE TIME IS TO SAVE TIME
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You always have enough time if you will but use it wisely. Your dilemma goes deeper than having a shortage of time, it's basically a problem of priorities. Most people leave undone those things that should be done, while they do things that they shouldn't be doing.
Set priorities for your goals. A major part of successful living lies in your ability to put first things first. Most major goals are not achieved because people put second things first.
Is what you're doing getting you closer to your objectives? Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time.
Don't serve time, make time serve you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You always have enough time if you will but use it wisely. Your dilemma goes deeper than having a shortage of time, it's basically a problem of priorities. Most people leave undone those things that should be done, while they do things that they shouldn't be doing.
Set priorities for your goals. A major part of successful living lies in your ability to put first things first. Most major goals are not achieved because people put second things first.
Is what you're doing getting you closer to your objectives? Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time.
Don't serve time, make time serve you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Giving To Receive
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Generosity
The most difficult time to be generous is when we ourselves are feeling poor. While some of us have experienced actually being in the red financially, there are those of us who would feel broke even if we had a million dollars in the bank. Either way, as the old adage goes, it is always in giving that we receive. Meaning that when we are living in a state of lack, the very gesture we may least want to give is the very act that could help us create the abundance that we seek. One way to practice generosity is to give energy where it is needed. Giving money to a cause or person in need is one way to give energy. Giving attention, love, or a smile to another person are other acts of giving that we can offer. After all, there are people all over the world that are hungry for love.
Sometimes when we practice generosity, we practice it conditionally. We might be expecting to "receive back" from the person to whom we gave. We might even become angry or resentful if that person doesn't reciprocate. However, trust in the natural flow of energy, and you will find yourself practicing generosity with no strings attached. This is the purest form of giving. Remember that what you send out will always come back you. Selflessly help a friend in need without expecting them to return the same favor in the same way, and know that you, too, will receive that support from the universe when you need it. Besides, while giving conditionally creates stress (because we are waiting with an invisible balance sheet to receive our due), giving unconditionally creates and generates abundance. We give freely, because we trust that there is always an unlimited supply.
Being aware of how much we are always supported by the universe is one of the keys to abundance and generosity. Consciously remember the times you've received support from expected and unexpected sources. Remember anyone who has helped you when you've needed it most, and bless all situations that come into your life for the lessons and gifts they bring you. Remember that all things given and received emanate from generosity. Giving is an act of gratitude. Plant the seeds of generosity through your acts of giving, and you will grow the fruits of abundance for yourself and those around you.
What do you think?
Generosity
The most difficult time to be generous is when we ourselves are feeling poor. While some of us have experienced actually being in the red financially, there are those of us who would feel broke even if we had a million dollars in the bank. Either way, as the old adage goes, it is always in giving that we receive. Meaning that when we are living in a state of lack, the very gesture we may least want to give is the very act that could help us create the abundance that we seek. One way to practice generosity is to give energy where it is needed. Giving money to a cause or person in need is one way to give energy. Giving attention, love, or a smile to another person are other acts of giving that we can offer. After all, there are people all over the world that are hungry for love.
Sometimes when we practice generosity, we practice it conditionally. We might be expecting to "receive back" from the person to whom we gave. We might even become angry or resentful if that person doesn't reciprocate. However, trust in the natural flow of energy, and you will find yourself practicing generosity with no strings attached. This is the purest form of giving. Remember that what you send out will always come back you. Selflessly help a friend in need without expecting them to return the same favor in the same way, and know that you, too, will receive that support from the universe when you need it. Besides, while giving conditionally creates stress (because we are waiting with an invisible balance sheet to receive our due), giving unconditionally creates and generates abundance. We give freely, because we trust that there is always an unlimited supply.
Being aware of how much we are always supported by the universe is one of the keys to abundance and generosity. Consciously remember the times you've received support from expected and unexpected sources. Remember anyone who has helped you when you've needed it most, and bless all situations that come into your life for the lessons and gifts they bring you. Remember that all things given and received emanate from generosity. Giving is an act of gratitude. Plant the seeds of generosity through your acts of giving, and you will grow the fruits of abundance for yourself and those around you.
What do you think?
A New Conversation About Dreams:
Who’s Directing Your Life?
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– By Marcia Wieder
While aspects of you encourage “Go for your dreams,” simultaneously other parts threaten “Don’t you dare.” A cast of characters lives inside of you and at different times you may receive conflicting or contradictory messages. If you want to be happy, successful, and fulfilled, consider putting your “dreamer” in the director’s chair.
What are the voices inside of you saying? As you turn the volume up on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your doubter, you can practice discernment allowing for greater clarity. To assist you in hearing these voices, let’s set up a simple scenario. Picture something you want, something that matters to you. Choose a personal or professional dream and consider how these various parts of you might respond.
Dreamer – The dreamer inside says, “What if...” and is open to a creative process without over-analyzing it. This is the part of you that imagines, believes in possibilities, has hope, and seeks kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their ideas with intention, clarity, and passion. Great dreamers get others excited about their vision. And most importantly, successful dreamers take action to make their dreams a reality.
Doubter – This voice is often heard saying such things as, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” The doubter provides concern touting, “But what if...” and imagines the worst. If you crank the volume up it can even become annihilating with accusations shouting things like, “Are you out of your mind?” William Shakespeare said, “Our doubts are traitors.” Carlos Castaneda said, “In order to experience the magic of life, you must banish the doubt.” My favorite quote on this subject is in The Prophet where Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Doubt is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother.”
Realist – “Be realistic...” Modulate the doubter down a notch or two and it becomes the essential voice of the realist. This part wants to know, “What’s the plan?” including where the time and monëy are coming from. However, in the early phase of dreaming, you may not know. The challenge is not to allow the realist to immediately turn into a doubter who might judge or obliterate your idea. Honor this voice by (to the best of your ability) giving it the information it needs. If you ignore or reject it, it will cleverly agitate or distract you. Being realistic offers prudence and makes you do your homework, but if you are overly realistic or go to strategy too soon, you will most likely compromise the dream and kill your passion.
Visionary – This voice says, “Anything is possible so let’s dream big!” These are the leaders and people we look up to and admire. They have learned the process of realizing their dreams and embody what it means to be a big dreamer. Setbacks or failures do not stop them. Simply put, a visionary has a vision and invites others to join them. They are found in all walks of life and we are often so inspired when they are in the presence of a true visionary that we sign up just to be near them or part of what they’re doing.
A visionary is not defined by the size of the dream since dreams are precious and come in all sizes, shapes, and areas of life. If you were living your dream life, how would it be different? What do you see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What would you change? Who would you help if you were truly living as a visionary?
Avoid Sabotaging Your Dream
When these different voices merge they can become muddled and result in confusion and poor decisions. For example, you might poison your dream by projecting doubt into it. Then with each step you take toward what you want, you also move toward your doubt. Doubt and fear, which most of us may have at some time or another (especially when embarking on a new or big dream), do not belong in your dream. These feelings are simply part of your reality. This is a subtle and essential point.
Hëre’s a simple technique for avoiding this sabotaging pattern. On a piece of paper draw a line across the middle. On the top half write out your dream with as much detail as possible. On the bottom write out your reality in relationship to your dream, where you are nöw. Reality usually includes good news and (so called) bad, as well as any fear or doubt you may have. Just state the facts and your feelings about them.
Nöw, which one are you more committed to: your dream or your reality? We tend to choose “reality” when we don’t have a clearly defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt. If your dream is loaded with your worst imagined nightmares, reality will always seem safer and saner. But doubt placed appropriately as part of your reality, allows two things to happen. First, no longer blown out of proportion, it’s an obstacle that basically requires a strategy to manage it. But more importantly, with doubt where it rightfully belongs, you are frëe to move forward.
It’s like a play. All the characters have wisdom and insight, but you can’t clearly understand them when they’re speaking at once. Take time to tune in, to listen, and on a regular basis, have the courage to give your dreamer its directorial debut or even the leading role.
About the Author:
Marcia Wieder, America’s Dream Coach, is a best-selling author and speaker known for giving inspiring and moving talks to AT&T, The Gap and American Express. She appeared several times on Oprah and The Today Show. She also writes for The San Francisco Chronicle. For more information, to receive a frëe audio e-book, "Jump Start Your Dream," or to join her community of Dreamers, visit http://www.dreamcoach.com. Come Experience a Powerful Weekend Designed to Help You Exceed Your Expectations & Achieve Your Dreams - visit http://www.dreamcoach.com/dream_weekend.htm to register for the event.
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– By Marcia Wieder
While aspects of you encourage “Go for your dreams,” simultaneously other parts threaten “Don’t you dare.” A cast of characters lives inside of you and at different times you may receive conflicting or contradictory messages. If you want to be happy, successful, and fulfilled, consider putting your “dreamer” in the director’s chair.
What are the voices inside of you saying? As you turn the volume up on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your doubter, you can practice discernment allowing for greater clarity. To assist you in hearing these voices, let’s set up a simple scenario. Picture something you want, something that matters to you. Choose a personal or professional dream and consider how these various parts of you might respond.
Dreamer – The dreamer inside says, “What if...” and is open to a creative process without over-analyzing it. This is the part of you that imagines, believes in possibilities, has hope, and seeks kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their ideas with intention, clarity, and passion. Great dreamers get others excited about their vision. And most importantly, successful dreamers take action to make their dreams a reality.
Doubter – This voice is often heard saying such things as, “I don’t think this is a good idea.” The doubter provides concern touting, “But what if...” and imagines the worst. If you crank the volume up it can even become annihilating with accusations shouting things like, “Are you out of your mind?” William Shakespeare said, “Our doubts are traitors.” Carlos Castaneda said, “In order to experience the magic of life, you must banish the doubt.” My favorite quote on this subject is in The Prophet where Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Doubt is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother.”
Realist – “Be realistic...” Modulate the doubter down a notch or two and it becomes the essential voice of the realist. This part wants to know, “What’s the plan?” including where the time and monëy are coming from. However, in the early phase of dreaming, you may not know. The challenge is not to allow the realist to immediately turn into a doubter who might judge or obliterate your idea. Honor this voice by (to the best of your ability) giving it the information it needs. If you ignore or reject it, it will cleverly agitate or distract you. Being realistic offers prudence and makes you do your homework, but if you are overly realistic or go to strategy too soon, you will most likely compromise the dream and kill your passion.
Visionary – This voice says, “Anything is possible so let’s dream big!” These are the leaders and people we look up to and admire. They have learned the process of realizing their dreams and embody what it means to be a big dreamer. Setbacks or failures do not stop them. Simply put, a visionary has a vision and invites others to join them. They are found in all walks of life and we are often so inspired when they are in the presence of a true visionary that we sign up just to be near them or part of what they’re doing.
A visionary is not defined by the size of the dream since dreams are precious and come in all sizes, shapes, and areas of life. If you were living your dream life, how would it be different? What do you see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What would you change? Who would you help if you were truly living as a visionary?
Avoid Sabotaging Your Dream
When these different voices merge they can become muddled and result in confusion and poor decisions. For example, you might poison your dream by projecting doubt into it. Then with each step you take toward what you want, you also move toward your doubt. Doubt and fear, which most of us may have at some time or another (especially when embarking on a new or big dream), do not belong in your dream. These feelings are simply part of your reality. This is a subtle and essential point.
Hëre’s a simple technique for avoiding this sabotaging pattern. On a piece of paper draw a line across the middle. On the top half write out your dream with as much detail as possible. On the bottom write out your reality in relationship to your dream, where you are nöw. Reality usually includes good news and (so called) bad, as well as any fear or doubt you may have. Just state the facts and your feelings about them.
Nöw, which one are you more committed to: your dream or your reality? We tend to choose “reality” when we don’t have a clearly defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt. If your dream is loaded with your worst imagined nightmares, reality will always seem safer and saner. But doubt placed appropriately as part of your reality, allows two things to happen. First, no longer blown out of proportion, it’s an obstacle that basically requires a strategy to manage it. But more importantly, with doubt where it rightfully belongs, you are frëe to move forward.
It’s like a play. All the characters have wisdom and insight, but you can’t clearly understand them when they’re speaking at once. Take time to tune in, to listen, and on a regular basis, have the courage to give your dreamer its directorial debut or even the leading role.
About the Author:
Marcia Wieder, America’s Dream Coach, is a best-selling author and speaker known for giving inspiring and moving talks to AT&T, The Gap and American Express. She appeared several times on Oprah and The Today Show. She also writes for The San Francisco Chronicle. For more information, to receive a frëe audio e-book, "Jump Start Your Dream," or to join her community of Dreamers, visit http://www.dreamcoach.com. Come Experience a Powerful Weekend Designed to Help You Exceed Your Expectations & Achieve Your Dreams - visit http://www.dreamcoach.com/dream_weekend.htm to register for the event.
YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO
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The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread. Every time you repeat the act you strengthen the strand. You add to it another filament with each repetition, until it becomes a great cable and binds you irrevocably to each thought and act.
First you make your habits and then they make you.
Your thoughts lead you to your purpose. Your purpose always manifests into action. Your actions form your habits. Your habits determine your character, and your character fixes your destiny.
Your habits are either the best of servants or the worst of masters.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread. Every time you repeat the act you strengthen the strand. You add to it another filament with each repetition, until it becomes a great cable and binds you irrevocably to each thought and act.
First you make your habits and then they make you.
Your thoughts lead you to your purpose. Your purpose always manifests into action. Your actions form your habits. Your habits determine your character, and your character fixes your destiny.
Your habits are either the best of servants or the worst of masters.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, September 26, 2005
Walking Your Path
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Living A Spiritual Life
Throughout the journey from birth to death, many people choose to question life, strive for improvement, seek out knowledge, and search for the divine. Simply put, this is the essence of spirituality. One's spiritual practice can take on many forms, because embracing the spiritual is a very personal pursuit. While many people do relate their spirituality to a God or Goddess, this quest for the divine, or oneness with the universe, always springs from within. It doesn't matter where you find your spiritual path. We are all fundamentally spiritual beings and the essence of that lies in knowing one's true self and finding a peace that comes from within rather than the outside world. It is in remembering this that we awaken to our personal path.
The spiritual path springs forth from a daily routine that reaffirms our personal connection with a purpose or a way of life. Practicing compassion, gratitude, appreciation, forgiveness, generosity, meditation, and taking care of one's wellbeing can all be a part of one's spiritual life. If you are new to exploring your personal spirituality, remember that this is a process. You may want to spend a few moments each day giving yourself a spiritual gift. Try a new form of meditation, visit a sanctuary, or explore a specific deity.
Accepting the importance of spirituality can be a healthy decision, because a spiritual practice tends to include habits that promote healthy living. Take the time to carefully determine the action, thought, and ritual that most speaks to your soul. Remember that your most profound spiritual experiences may also come from the simple intricacies that make up your life. See the interconnectedness of all things. As you explore your "inner work," you will be walking your spiritual path and feeling your oneness with the universe.
What do you think?
Living A Spiritual Life
Throughout the journey from birth to death, many people choose to question life, strive for improvement, seek out knowledge, and search for the divine. Simply put, this is the essence of spirituality. One's spiritual practice can take on many forms, because embracing the spiritual is a very personal pursuit. While many people do relate their spirituality to a God or Goddess, this quest for the divine, or oneness with the universe, always springs from within. It doesn't matter where you find your spiritual path. We are all fundamentally spiritual beings and the essence of that lies in knowing one's true self and finding a peace that comes from within rather than the outside world. It is in remembering this that we awaken to our personal path.
The spiritual path springs forth from a daily routine that reaffirms our personal connection with a purpose or a way of life. Practicing compassion, gratitude, appreciation, forgiveness, generosity, meditation, and taking care of one's wellbeing can all be a part of one's spiritual life. If you are new to exploring your personal spirituality, remember that this is a process. You may want to spend a few moments each day giving yourself a spiritual gift. Try a new form of meditation, visit a sanctuary, or explore a specific deity.
Accepting the importance of spirituality can be a healthy decision, because a spiritual practice tends to include habits that promote healthy living. Take the time to carefully determine the action, thought, and ritual that most speaks to your soul. Remember that your most profound spiritual experiences may also come from the simple intricacies that make up your life. See the interconnectedness of all things. As you explore your "inner work," you will be walking your spiritual path and feeling your oneness with the universe.
What do you think?
Accepting Yourself Unconditionally
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- By Brian Tracy
How Are You Treated By Others?
Self-acceptance begins in infancy, with the influence of your parents and siblings and other important people.
Your own level of self-acceptance is determined largely by how well you feel you are accepted by the important people in your life.
Your attitude toward yourself is determined largely by the attitudes that you think other people have toward you. When you believe that other people think highly of you, your level of self-acceptance and self-esteem goes straight up.
The best way to build a healthy personality involves understanding yourself and your feelings.
Let The Light Shine In
This is achieved through the simple exercise of self-disclosure. For you to truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may have happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You have to be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won’t make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.
Understand What Makes You Tick
The second part of personality development follows from self-disclosure, and it’s called self-awareness. Only when you can disclose what you’re truly thinking and feeling to someone else can you become aware of those thoughts and emotions If the other person simply listens to you without commenting or criticizing, you have the opportunity to become more aware of the person you are and why you do the things you do. You begin to develop perspective, or what the Buddhists call “detachment.”
Be Honest With Yourself
Now we come to the good part. After you’ve gone through self-disclosure to self-awareness, you arrive at self-acceptance. You accept yourself for the person you are, with good points and bad points, with strengths and weaknesses, and with the normal frailties of a human being. When you develop the ability to stand back and look at yourself honestly, and to candidly admit to others that you may not be perfect but you’re all you’ve got, you start to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.
Do An Inventory Of Your Accomplishments
A valuable exercise for developing higher levels of self-acceptance involves doing an inventory of yourself. In doing this inventory, your job is to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative.
Think of your unique talents and abilities. Think of your core skills, the things that you do exceptionally well that account for your success in your profession and in your personal life right now.
Think About Your Future
Think about your future possibilities and the fact that your potential is virtually unlimited. You can do what you want to do and go where you want to go. You can be the person you want to be. You can set large and small goals and make plans and move step-by-step, progressively toward their realization. There are no obstacles to what you can accomplish except the obstacles that you create in your mind.
Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:
First, sit down with your spouse, or a good friend, and tell him or her about something that is troubling you and is still causing you unhappiness.
Second, develop perspective on your problem by standing back from it and imagining that it was happening to someone else. What advice would you give to that person?
Third, think continually about the good experiences and accomplishments you have enjoyed in the past. Remind yourself regularly that you are a pretty good person and you’ve done a lot of good things in your life.
- Brian Tracy
- By Brian Tracy
How Are You Treated By Others?
Self-acceptance begins in infancy, with the influence of your parents and siblings and other important people.
Your own level of self-acceptance is determined largely by how well you feel you are accepted by the important people in your life.
Your attitude toward yourself is determined largely by the attitudes that you think other people have toward you. When you believe that other people think highly of you, your level of self-acceptance and self-esteem goes straight up.
The best way to build a healthy personality involves understanding yourself and your feelings.
Let The Light Shine In
This is achieved through the simple exercise of self-disclosure. For you to truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may have happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You have to be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won’t make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.
Understand What Makes You Tick
The second part of personality development follows from self-disclosure, and it’s called self-awareness. Only when you can disclose what you’re truly thinking and feeling to someone else can you become aware of those thoughts and emotions If the other person simply listens to you without commenting or criticizing, you have the opportunity to become more aware of the person you are and why you do the things you do. You begin to develop perspective, or what the Buddhists call “detachment.”
Be Honest With Yourself
Now we come to the good part. After you’ve gone through self-disclosure to self-awareness, you arrive at self-acceptance. You accept yourself for the person you are, with good points and bad points, with strengths and weaknesses, and with the normal frailties of a human being. When you develop the ability to stand back and look at yourself honestly, and to candidly admit to others that you may not be perfect but you’re all you’ve got, you start to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.
Do An Inventory Of Your Accomplishments
A valuable exercise for developing higher levels of self-acceptance involves doing an inventory of yourself. In doing this inventory, your job is to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative.
Think of your unique talents and abilities. Think of your core skills, the things that you do exceptionally well that account for your success in your profession and in your personal life right now.
Think About Your Future
Think about your future possibilities and the fact that your potential is virtually unlimited. You can do what you want to do and go where you want to go. You can be the person you want to be. You can set large and small goals and make plans and move step-by-step, progressively toward their realization. There are no obstacles to what you can accomplish except the obstacles that you create in your mind.
Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:
First, sit down with your spouse, or a good friend, and tell him or her about something that is troubling you and is still causing you unhappiness.
Second, develop perspective on your problem by standing back from it and imagining that it was happening to someone else. What advice would you give to that person?
Third, think continually about the good experiences and accomplishments you have enjoyed in the past. Remind yourself regularly that you are a pretty good person and you’ve done a lot of good things in your life.
- Brian Tracy
OPEN YOUR OWN DOOR TO OPPORTUNITY
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Success doesn't come to you. You must go to it.
You don't need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity. What you need is to use what you have.
The golden opportunity you're seeking is in yourself. It's not in your environment. It's not in luck or chance or the help of others. It's in you.
There will always be a new opportunity where there is an open mind and a willing hand.
You must make your own opportunities.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Success doesn't come to you. You must go to it.
You don't need more strength or more ability or greater opportunity. What you need is to use what you have.
The golden opportunity you're seeking is in yourself. It's not in your environment. It's not in luck or chance or the help of others. It's in you.
There will always be a new opportunity where there is an open mind and a willing hand.
You must make your own opportunities.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, September 23, 2005
Hidden Treasure
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Finding Another Vantage Point
The ocean can look very different, depending on whether you are standing at the shore, soaring above in a plane, or swimming beneath its waves. Likewise, a mountain can look very different relative to where you are standing. Each living thing sees the world from its unique vantage point. While from your window you may be seeing what looks like a huge shrub, a bird in its nest is getting an intimate view of that tree's leafy interior. Meanwhile, a beetle sees only a massive and never-ending tree trunk. Yet all three of you are looking at the same tree.
Just as a shadow that is concealed from one point of view is easily seen from another, it is possible to miss a fantastic view. That is, unless you are willing to see what's in front of you through different eyes. Seeing the world from another perspective, whether spatially or mentally, can introduce you to all sorts of hidden treasures. The root of the discovery process often lies in finding another way of looking at the world. The common human reaction to insects is one example. Spinning its web in a dark corner, a spider may seem drab, frightening, and mysterious. But seen up close weaving silver snowflakes between the branches of a tree, they can look like colored jewels.
Sometimes, there are experiences in life that from your vantage point may seem confusing, alarming, or worrisome. Or there may be events that look insignificant from where you are standing right now. Try seeing them from another point of view. Bury your face in the grass and look at the world from a bug's vantage point. Explore your home as if you were a small child. Take a ride in a small aircraft and experience the world from a bird's eye view. Just as kneeling down sometimes helps you see you more closely when you are looking for lost treasure, so can standing back help you appreciate the broader picture of what you are looking at. In doing so, you'll experience very different worlds.
What do you think?
Finding Another Vantage Point
The ocean can look very different, depending on whether you are standing at the shore, soaring above in a plane, or swimming beneath its waves. Likewise, a mountain can look very different relative to where you are standing. Each living thing sees the world from its unique vantage point. While from your window you may be seeing what looks like a huge shrub, a bird in its nest is getting an intimate view of that tree's leafy interior. Meanwhile, a beetle sees only a massive and never-ending tree trunk. Yet all three of you are looking at the same tree.
Just as a shadow that is concealed from one point of view is easily seen from another, it is possible to miss a fantastic view. That is, unless you are willing to see what's in front of you through different eyes. Seeing the world from another perspective, whether spatially or mentally, can introduce you to all sorts of hidden treasures. The root of the discovery process often lies in finding another way of looking at the world. The common human reaction to insects is one example. Spinning its web in a dark corner, a spider may seem drab, frightening, and mysterious. But seen up close weaving silver snowflakes between the branches of a tree, they can look like colored jewels.
Sometimes, there are experiences in life that from your vantage point may seem confusing, alarming, or worrisome. Or there may be events that look insignificant from where you are standing right now. Try seeing them from another point of view. Bury your face in the grass and look at the world from a bug's vantage point. Explore your home as if you were a small child. Take a ride in a small aircraft and experience the world from a bird's eye view. Just as kneeling down sometimes helps you see you more closely when you are looking for lost treasure, so can standing back help you appreciate the broader picture of what you are looking at. In doing so, you'll experience very different worlds.
What do you think?
The Power of Positive Thinking
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- By Arina Nikitina
Although you can see that the glass is half-empty, you chose to see it in a positive way. It is still half-full, anyway. The absence of half of the volume of water didn’t even bother you. What mattered was that it still contains water. If this is how you answered the question above and how you justified your answer, then you have a positive way of thinking.
Positive thinking is a way of looking at the brighter side of life. Everything is good, beautiful, and light. There are no worries, problems, or fears. In short, all you see and believe in is, well, positive. I guess that’s already the most suitable word in describing this way of thinking, which is why it is the term being used.
This kind of thinking is very powerful in that if you think that you are going to pass an exam, you are going to pass; if you think that you’ll get noticed by your crush, you’ll get noticed; if you think you will get promoted at work, then you’ll get promoted. This is how powerful the mind is, particularly positive mind. Even the famous Clint Eastwood believes in this general truth that he quoted, “If you think it’s going to rain, it will.”
So, how does the power of positive thinking works? How can it create reality? Do we only have to think of positive things and then will it happen right away? That positive thinking really is powerful may be somehow hard to believe at first, that’s why we may ask certain questions like those above. Because the mind is working on the information you send it, positive thinking leads to positive reality. This is how it works. Yes, we do have to really think of positive things. But it doesn’t stop there.
Remember the ever-famous cliché “Do your best and God will do the rest”? You know, it’s true. Aside from believing in and having faith in something we want to happen, we have to do something about it. You can’t ace an exam just by sitting on the couch and watching TV days before taking it, can you?
Let us take into account again the computer as a metaphor of the human mind. The mind is like a computer, this time due to the fact that we can program it with certain functions and tasks. Sometimes, it even acts as our autopilot. For instance, we use it when we drive and talk on a mobile phone at the same time. Therefore, we can program it with whatever we want to happen.
Say, for example, you want to be attractive. Thus, you say to yourself “I can be beautiful, healthy and slim.” But for this positive thinking to work, you can’t just leave it at that. You still need to do something. You need the right self-programming: “I can be beautiful, healthy, and slim if… (a) I’ll take enough rest every night; (b) I’ll eat proper balance diet; (c) I’ll do exercises; (d) I’ll brush my teeth every after meal; etc.” And if all these thoughts sink into your system, you’ll see that they wouldn’t be far from happening.
Mind power implies will power. With positive thinking, one does not stop with I can or I am. There will always be an I will after it in which it will cause the realization of his aspirations.
Positive thinking is a powerful tool that helps us build the life we want. It can make us beautiful and smart. It can get us the dream job with the excellent salary we always dreamed of. It can help us find our one true love. But we have to use them properly and we have to continue working with them regularly - to the point where it becomes such a habit that we ought to say them all the time. Isn’t it better maintaining such thoughts than keeping worthless ideas inside our head – the stuff we keep thinking about but doesn't really help us accomplish anything and, in many cases, may actually push us backwards?
We should also understand that some affirmations take some time to take effect. It really depends on where we are and what we want to accomplish. For example, if you're unemployed yet want to be a millionaire, well, in reality, it will take quite some time. You have to get a job first, and from there, start making the big money and earn the millions you want. Successes usually not happen overnight. So the first step is to focus on how we can accomplish our goal. If we are on the right place, plus we possess the right attitude, then it won’t be too far.
- Copyright 2005 Arina Nikitina
About the author:
Arina Nikitina is the owner of www.RecipesForYourSuccess.com website where she shares proven tips and techniques on how to lead happy and fulfilling life you deserve. Visit: http://www.recipesforyoursuccess.com
- By Arina Nikitina
Although you can see that the glass is half-empty, you chose to see it in a positive way. It is still half-full, anyway. The absence of half of the volume of water didn’t even bother you. What mattered was that it still contains water. If this is how you answered the question above and how you justified your answer, then you have a positive way of thinking.
Positive thinking is a way of looking at the brighter side of life. Everything is good, beautiful, and light. There are no worries, problems, or fears. In short, all you see and believe in is, well, positive. I guess that’s already the most suitable word in describing this way of thinking, which is why it is the term being used.
This kind of thinking is very powerful in that if you think that you are going to pass an exam, you are going to pass; if you think that you’ll get noticed by your crush, you’ll get noticed; if you think you will get promoted at work, then you’ll get promoted. This is how powerful the mind is, particularly positive mind. Even the famous Clint Eastwood believes in this general truth that he quoted, “If you think it’s going to rain, it will.”
So, how does the power of positive thinking works? How can it create reality? Do we only have to think of positive things and then will it happen right away? That positive thinking really is powerful may be somehow hard to believe at first, that’s why we may ask certain questions like those above. Because the mind is working on the information you send it, positive thinking leads to positive reality. This is how it works. Yes, we do have to really think of positive things. But it doesn’t stop there.
Remember the ever-famous cliché “Do your best and God will do the rest”? You know, it’s true. Aside from believing in and having faith in something we want to happen, we have to do something about it. You can’t ace an exam just by sitting on the couch and watching TV days before taking it, can you?
Let us take into account again the computer as a metaphor of the human mind. The mind is like a computer, this time due to the fact that we can program it with certain functions and tasks. Sometimes, it even acts as our autopilot. For instance, we use it when we drive and talk on a mobile phone at the same time. Therefore, we can program it with whatever we want to happen.
Say, for example, you want to be attractive. Thus, you say to yourself “I can be beautiful, healthy and slim.” But for this positive thinking to work, you can’t just leave it at that. You still need to do something. You need the right self-programming: “I can be beautiful, healthy, and slim if… (a) I’ll take enough rest every night; (b) I’ll eat proper balance diet; (c) I’ll do exercises; (d) I’ll brush my teeth every after meal; etc.” And if all these thoughts sink into your system, you’ll see that they wouldn’t be far from happening.
Mind power implies will power. With positive thinking, one does not stop with I can or I am. There will always be an I will after it in which it will cause the realization of his aspirations.
Positive thinking is a powerful tool that helps us build the life we want. It can make us beautiful and smart. It can get us the dream job with the excellent salary we always dreamed of. It can help us find our one true love. But we have to use them properly and we have to continue working with them regularly - to the point where it becomes such a habit that we ought to say them all the time. Isn’t it better maintaining such thoughts than keeping worthless ideas inside our head – the stuff we keep thinking about but doesn't really help us accomplish anything and, in many cases, may actually push us backwards?
We should also understand that some affirmations take some time to take effect. It really depends on where we are and what we want to accomplish. For example, if you're unemployed yet want to be a millionaire, well, in reality, it will take quite some time. You have to get a job first, and from there, start making the big money and earn the millions you want. Successes usually not happen overnight. So the first step is to focus on how we can accomplish our goal. If we are on the right place, plus we possess the right attitude, then it won’t be too far.
- Copyright 2005 Arina Nikitina
About the author:
Arina Nikitina is the owner of www.RecipesForYourSuccess.com website where she shares proven tips and techniques on how to lead happy and fulfilling life you deserve. Visit: http://www.recipesforyoursuccess.com
YOU ALWAYS HAVE A CHANCE
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You know what you are today but not what you may be tomorrow. Use your imagination and look at things as they can be.
You can do anything you wish to do, have anything you wish to have, and be anything you wish to be.
You don't know what you can really do until you try. All you have to do is to act on your dreams.
You have the power within you to do things you never dreamed possible. You would amaze yourself if you did all the things you're capable of doing. This power becomes available to you as soon as you change some of your beliefs.
Success begins in your mind.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You know what you are today but not what you may be tomorrow. Use your imagination and look at things as they can be.
You can do anything you wish to do, have anything you wish to have, and be anything you wish to be.
You don't know what you can really do until you try. All you have to do is to act on your dreams.
You have the power within you to do things you never dreamed possible. You would amaze yourself if you did all the things you're capable of doing. This power becomes available to you as soon as you change some of your beliefs.
Success begins in your mind.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, September 22, 2005
A Cycle Of Reflection
--------------------------------------------------
Changing Of Seasons
In this modern world, it is easy for many of us to feel loosely bonded to the world's cycles. As many of our duties tend to stay the same through both heat and cold, the equinoxes and solstices may carry little weight. Yet the seasons do shift, daylight waxes and wanes, and, sometimes extravagantly and often subtly, nature changes her face. Many ancient cultures devised artful explanations for the never-ending transition from spring to summer to autumn to winter. The Navajo Indians believed the seasons were caused by Estsanatlehi, the wife of the Sun God. They believe that Estsanatlehi renews herself each spring, blossoms in the summer, ages through the autumn, and dies in the winter.
The four seasons are often associated with a joyous, eternal cycle of life. We can look to the cycle of the changing seasons to create meaning within our own lives. In each season, there is a prevalent mood that can inspire poignant reflection. Autumn ushers in crisp, chilly mornings and evenings. There is a shortening of days and a lengthening of shadows. Winter creates a bare landscape bathed in bright, pure light. Spring is a time of regrowth and new possibilities. While summer is a time of long days during which the rich fullness of those possibilities can fully blossom. Like the changing seasons, life is cyclical. Look back over the years, and you can see your own symbolic springs, summers, autumns, and winters.
Each new season brings with it familiar joys that can be pleasurable to reacquaint yourself with. Try eating seasonal foods and participating in seasonal activities. Decorate your home with spring flowers, yellow and brown leaves, or holly. Give in to your body's seasonal desires. You may feel like nesting in the autumn or staying close to home in the winter. Embrace the feelings that each new season awakens within you. Above all, savor the changes, knowing that each season that passes will come again. As we welcome in autumn, breathe in the last perfumes of summer's flowers while enjoying the coolness of autumn. Celebrate the longer nights by spending time with loved ones, just as you celebrated the lengthening of days by rushing to greet a renewed outdoors. Always remember that each season can connect you closer to the earth's cycles while bringing something special into your life.
What do you think?
Changing Of Seasons
In this modern world, it is easy for many of us to feel loosely bonded to the world's cycles. As many of our duties tend to stay the same through both heat and cold, the equinoxes and solstices may carry little weight. Yet the seasons do shift, daylight waxes and wanes, and, sometimes extravagantly and often subtly, nature changes her face. Many ancient cultures devised artful explanations for the never-ending transition from spring to summer to autumn to winter. The Navajo Indians believed the seasons were caused by Estsanatlehi, the wife of the Sun God. They believe that Estsanatlehi renews herself each spring, blossoms in the summer, ages through the autumn, and dies in the winter.
The four seasons are often associated with a joyous, eternal cycle of life. We can look to the cycle of the changing seasons to create meaning within our own lives. In each season, there is a prevalent mood that can inspire poignant reflection. Autumn ushers in crisp, chilly mornings and evenings. There is a shortening of days and a lengthening of shadows. Winter creates a bare landscape bathed in bright, pure light. Spring is a time of regrowth and new possibilities. While summer is a time of long days during which the rich fullness of those possibilities can fully blossom. Like the changing seasons, life is cyclical. Look back over the years, and you can see your own symbolic springs, summers, autumns, and winters.
Each new season brings with it familiar joys that can be pleasurable to reacquaint yourself with. Try eating seasonal foods and participating in seasonal activities. Decorate your home with spring flowers, yellow and brown leaves, or holly. Give in to your body's seasonal desires. You may feel like nesting in the autumn or staying close to home in the winter. Embrace the feelings that each new season awakens within you. Above all, savor the changes, knowing that each season that passes will come again. As we welcome in autumn, breathe in the last perfumes of summer's flowers while enjoying the coolness of autumn. Celebrate the longer nights by spending time with loved ones, just as you celebrated the lengthening of days by rushing to greet a renewed outdoors. Always remember that each season can connect you closer to the earth's cycles while bringing something special into your life.
What do you think?
Meditation
--------------------------------------------------
- By Bruno Gideon
Meditation, if practiced on a regular basis, is one of the best ways to reduce stress, increase self-confidence, and solve problems. It is convenient, too – you can practice it anywhere, anytime, at your own pace. Meditation may take a little effort at first, but as you continue, it will become a habit, one that will tremendously deepen your character and give you peace.
Meditation is not a means to an end. It is both the means and the end.
– Jiddu Krishnamurti, religious philosopher and teacher
Meditation is the power that leads you to your own truth.
– Phylicia Rashad, US actress
I meditate regularly. It helps me get through difficult times and find answers to my daily problems. My short guide to meditation (see below) will allow you to start and I would be happy if it would get you on the road to meditation. There are many books and websites that will guide you further. A Google search for “meditation” brought up over eight million results – that’s how popular the topic is.
Why not give meditation a chance?
I am so convinced that meditation will help many of you, my dear readers, that I have written a short beginner’s guide, which I would be only too happy to e-mail to you. If you are interested, send an email to: gomeditate@brunogideon.com. It is free, of course.
- Bruno Gideon
- By Bruno Gideon
Meditation, if practiced on a regular basis, is one of the best ways to reduce stress, increase self-confidence, and solve problems. It is convenient, too – you can practice it anywhere, anytime, at your own pace. Meditation may take a little effort at first, but as you continue, it will become a habit, one that will tremendously deepen your character and give you peace.
Meditation is not a means to an end. It is both the means and the end.
– Jiddu Krishnamurti, religious philosopher and teacher
Meditation is the power that leads you to your own truth.
– Phylicia Rashad, US actress
I meditate regularly. It helps me get through difficult times and find answers to my daily problems. My short guide to meditation (see below) will allow you to start and I would be happy if it would get you on the road to meditation. There are many books and websites that will guide you further. A Google search for “meditation” brought up over eight million results – that’s how popular the topic is.
Why not give meditation a chance?
I am so convinced that meditation will help many of you, my dear readers, that I have written a short beginner’s guide, which I would be only too happy to e-mail to you. If you are interested, send an email to: gomeditate@brunogideon.com. It is free, of course.
- Bruno Gideon
VISUALIZE THEN ACTUALIZE YOUR SUCCESS
--------------------------------------------------
Your mind is your mental workshop. You can build anything you want in it.
Visualize what you want in your mind. See it. Feel it. Taste it. Believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and then begin to build.
First, think about what you want out of life. The beginning always takes place in your imagination. Then organize your thoughts into definitive plans. Next, it's time to transform your thoughts into reality by taking some positive action.
You can live your dreams.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Your mind is your mental workshop. You can build anything you want in it.
Visualize what you want in your mind. See it. Feel it. Taste it. Believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and then begin to build.
First, think about what you want out of life. The beginning always takes place in your imagination. Then organize your thoughts into definitive plans. Next, it's time to transform your thoughts into reality by taking some positive action.
You can live your dreams.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Resisting Control
-------------------------------------------------
Imposing Your Will On Others
The right to make your own choices is a precious one. We grow when we have the freedom to decide our own paths and determine what makes us happy. Yet there are those who are inclined to try and control others. They may be driven by insecurity, envy, fear, or the need for power. These people are deeply critical of themselves in their own minds, and underlying that critical nature is unhappiness. Their need to feel sure-footed and secure is quenched by controlling those around them, whether they are friends, colleagues, or even pets. However, nearly everyone has found themselves imposing their will upon others at one time or another.
Trying to impose your will on others can be tempting for many reasons. You may feel that your way is the best way or that you have a keener insight into the direction their life should be taking. But, in imposing your will, you are indirectly saying, "I want to control you." Even when you have the best of intentions, others may end up resenting you for your actions. It is always helpful to remember that it is possible to influence people and change their behavior through education or example without imposing your will on them.
If you've caught yourself being a bit bossy on a regular basis, make a note of it. Write down what the situation was and why you acted the way you did. You may have pushed a friend to try something new, because deep inside you wanted to try it yourself but were feeling hesitant. Or you may be unjustly interfering with work teammates, because you aren't sure of their abilities. Next, make an effort to understand and accept their preferences and ways of doing things. It can feel natural to impose your will when you feel that you "know best." But there is a freedom to trusting others to find their own methods and joys, even when they might differ from yours. Sometimes the best course of action is to step back and relinquish control. You may, in doing so, see everything from a different point of view.
What do you think?
Imposing Your Will On Others
The right to make your own choices is a precious one. We grow when we have the freedom to decide our own paths and determine what makes us happy. Yet there are those who are inclined to try and control others. They may be driven by insecurity, envy, fear, or the need for power. These people are deeply critical of themselves in their own minds, and underlying that critical nature is unhappiness. Their need to feel sure-footed and secure is quenched by controlling those around them, whether they are friends, colleagues, or even pets. However, nearly everyone has found themselves imposing their will upon others at one time or another.
Trying to impose your will on others can be tempting for many reasons. You may feel that your way is the best way or that you have a keener insight into the direction their life should be taking. But, in imposing your will, you are indirectly saying, "I want to control you." Even when you have the best of intentions, others may end up resenting you for your actions. It is always helpful to remember that it is possible to influence people and change their behavior through education or example without imposing your will on them.
If you've caught yourself being a bit bossy on a regular basis, make a note of it. Write down what the situation was and why you acted the way you did. You may have pushed a friend to try something new, because deep inside you wanted to try it yourself but were feeling hesitant. Or you may be unjustly interfering with work teammates, because you aren't sure of their abilities. Next, make an effort to understand and accept their preferences and ways of doing things. It can feel natural to impose your will when you feel that you "know best." But there is a freedom to trusting others to find their own methods and joys, even when they might differ from yours. Sometimes the best course of action is to step back and relinquish control. You may, in doing so, see everything from a different point of view.
What do you think?
Ten Steps to Contacting Your Higher Self
----------------------------------------------------
– By Asoka Selvarajah
Each of us is connected with the Divine. The Higher Self within us far transcends the understanding of our conscious minds. This is the power that all the great geniuses and teachers of history have accessed. It is also the place of magic and miracle in our lives. Hëre are the steps to contact it:
1. Belief & Expectation
The first step is to BELIEVE that you have a Higher Self to establish communication with! Then EXPECT every day that this communication will improve as you focus diligently on inner growth. Without these two essential pre-requisites, it is hard to achieve anything at all in life, even on the physical level. For inner growth, these two qualities are essential. So set a GOAL to achieve contact with the Higher Self, review that goal daily, and maintain your purpose with determination until success is yours.
2. Transform Your World View
We are brought up with a primarily materialistic world view that neglects the role of Spirit. To establish close contact with spiritual realms, we need to have our entire being -- conscious and subconscious -- congruent with our goal. In any major activity/goal, you have to establish the rules of the game and the way it is played. Contacting your Higher Self is the same. Therefore, seek out writings and teachers that expand your understanding of the universe as fundamentally being a realm of Consciousness and Mind.
3. Solitude
Make regular time for yourself where you can be totally alone. A quiet place is preferable. Just sit quietly with no expectations. Do NOTHING. This may feel very uncomfortable and strange in the beginning. Persist. You give time and space for the inner voice to make itself heard. It will do so either during that quiet time, or else during the events of the day. A synchronistic event will occur; someone will tell you exactly what you need to hear; you will get a sudden flash of insight. All the great geniuses of history have found times of regular solitude and silence for themselves. You should too.
4. Meditation
In meditation, you work to discipline your mind and silence the internal chatter that constantly fill it. You create a pure vessel for the Higher Self to fill. Following your breath is an excellent meditation discipline, as is concentrating upon a candle flame. Or visualize a golden ball of light in your Solar Plexus that fills your whole body with energy and healing. There are many practices that you can study and use.
5. Journal
Record your feelings, emotions, dreams and insights every day in a journal. This will help you to come into closer contact with your inner intuitive depths. You can ask the Higher Self questïons hëre, and then later on record whatever insights/answers you receive. If you do this regularly with belief and expectation, you WILL receive the answers you need.
6. Inner Dialogue
Conduct a regular inner dialogue with your Higher Self. For the next 40 days, decide to keep in contact throughout the day. Say to your Higher Self, "I know you are there and I want to get to know you and pay attention to you. Please begin to speak to me and guide my life." Don't worry if this dialogue is entirely one-way to begin with. Remember that you have been out of touch for decades. It takes a while to clear the cobwebs! Persist with this inner dialogue as if talking to a friend -- chatting, asking questïons, sharing your hopes -- and begin to listen for answers. They will come.
7. Life Lessons
Look upon life as a Mystery School. Believe that the whole of your life -- events, situations and people -- has been structured PRECISELY in order to teach you exactly what you need to know right nöw. Approach life as if the whole of creation is conspiring to do you good! Whenever something happens in your life, for good or ill, ask yourself what the lesson is for you. Even unpleasant people/situations have been deliberately placed there as a challenge to help you grow. As you begin to view life as a drama in which you are playing the starring role, the role of the Higher Self will become increasingly evident in your life. Record your findings in your journal.
8. Dreams
Expect your Higher Self to speak to you in dreams. Before going to sleep, do some stretching and bending to relax your body completely. Ask your Higher Self a question and expect an answer. When you wake up, recall whatever you can of your dream and write it down in your journal.
If you are not used to remembering dreams, this will take time and persistence. However, with patience, you will begin to recall your dreams AND receive answers from your Higher Self.
9. Mindfulness
Focus upon living more and more in the present, on the NÖW. When you are eating, be aware that you are eating. When you walk, know that you are walking. The only real moment is nöw -- the past is gone forever and the future has yet to be. Therefore, work to clear your mind of concerns, illusions and extrapolations. Clear the mental clutter from the mind and create space for the Higher Self to fill.
10. Patience!
Remember, you may have spent your entire life out of touch with Source. Therefore, it takes time to learn how to re-establish contact. Anything worth doing takes time and practice. Be vigilant and practice these steps every day and you will receive the answers you need. Remember: The Higher Self WANTS to be in contact. In fact, to even speak of it as someone apart from you is contradictory. The Higher Self IS you! The real you. So get in touch with YOU!
Copyright 2000. Asoka Selvarajah
About the Author:
Dr. Asoka Selvarajah publishes the ezine, "Aspire To Wisdom"; a unique synthesis of Personal Development, combined with Spiritual Growth/Metaphysical Teachings. It is available at http://www.aksworld.com/AspireToWisdom.htm
You can visit his Mystic Visions website at http://www.aksworld.com
– By Asoka Selvarajah
Each of us is connected with the Divine. The Higher Self within us far transcends the understanding of our conscious minds. This is the power that all the great geniuses and teachers of history have accessed. It is also the place of magic and miracle in our lives. Hëre are the steps to contact it:
1. Belief & Expectation
The first step is to BELIEVE that you have a Higher Self to establish communication with! Then EXPECT every day that this communication will improve as you focus diligently on inner growth. Without these two essential pre-requisites, it is hard to achieve anything at all in life, even on the physical level. For inner growth, these two qualities are essential. So set a GOAL to achieve contact with the Higher Self, review that goal daily, and maintain your purpose with determination until success is yours.
2. Transform Your World View
We are brought up with a primarily materialistic world view that neglects the role of Spirit. To establish close contact with spiritual realms, we need to have our entire being -- conscious and subconscious -- congruent with our goal. In any major activity/goal, you have to establish the rules of the game and the way it is played. Contacting your Higher Self is the same. Therefore, seek out writings and teachers that expand your understanding of the universe as fundamentally being a realm of Consciousness and Mind.
3. Solitude
Make regular time for yourself where you can be totally alone. A quiet place is preferable. Just sit quietly with no expectations. Do NOTHING. This may feel very uncomfortable and strange in the beginning. Persist. You give time and space for the inner voice to make itself heard. It will do so either during that quiet time, or else during the events of the day. A synchronistic event will occur; someone will tell you exactly what you need to hear; you will get a sudden flash of insight. All the great geniuses of history have found times of regular solitude and silence for themselves. You should too.
4. Meditation
In meditation, you work to discipline your mind and silence the internal chatter that constantly fill it. You create a pure vessel for the Higher Self to fill. Following your breath is an excellent meditation discipline, as is concentrating upon a candle flame. Or visualize a golden ball of light in your Solar Plexus that fills your whole body with energy and healing. There are many practices that you can study and use.
5. Journal
Record your feelings, emotions, dreams and insights every day in a journal. This will help you to come into closer contact with your inner intuitive depths. You can ask the Higher Self questïons hëre, and then later on record whatever insights/answers you receive. If you do this regularly with belief and expectation, you WILL receive the answers you need.
6. Inner Dialogue
Conduct a regular inner dialogue with your Higher Self. For the next 40 days, decide to keep in contact throughout the day. Say to your Higher Self, "I know you are there and I want to get to know you and pay attention to you. Please begin to speak to me and guide my life." Don't worry if this dialogue is entirely one-way to begin with. Remember that you have been out of touch for decades. It takes a while to clear the cobwebs! Persist with this inner dialogue as if talking to a friend -- chatting, asking questïons, sharing your hopes -- and begin to listen for answers. They will come.
7. Life Lessons
Look upon life as a Mystery School. Believe that the whole of your life -- events, situations and people -- has been structured PRECISELY in order to teach you exactly what you need to know right nöw. Approach life as if the whole of creation is conspiring to do you good! Whenever something happens in your life, for good or ill, ask yourself what the lesson is for you. Even unpleasant people/situations have been deliberately placed there as a challenge to help you grow. As you begin to view life as a drama in which you are playing the starring role, the role of the Higher Self will become increasingly evident in your life. Record your findings in your journal.
8. Dreams
Expect your Higher Self to speak to you in dreams. Before going to sleep, do some stretching and bending to relax your body completely. Ask your Higher Self a question and expect an answer. When you wake up, recall whatever you can of your dream and write it down in your journal.
If you are not used to remembering dreams, this will take time and persistence. However, with patience, you will begin to recall your dreams AND receive answers from your Higher Self.
9. Mindfulness
Focus upon living more and more in the present, on the NÖW. When you are eating, be aware that you are eating. When you walk, know that you are walking. The only real moment is nöw -- the past is gone forever and the future has yet to be. Therefore, work to clear your mind of concerns, illusions and extrapolations. Clear the mental clutter from the mind and create space for the Higher Self to fill.
10. Patience!
Remember, you may have spent your entire life out of touch with Source. Therefore, it takes time to learn how to re-establish contact. Anything worth doing takes time and practice. Be vigilant and practice these steps every day and you will receive the answers you need. Remember: The Higher Self WANTS to be in contact. In fact, to even speak of it as someone apart from you is contradictory. The Higher Self IS you! The real you. So get in touch with YOU!
Copyright 2000. Asoka Selvarajah
About the Author:
Dr. Asoka Selvarajah publishes the ezine, "Aspire To Wisdom"; a unique synthesis of Personal Development, combined with Spiritual Growth/Metaphysical Teachings. It is available at http://www.aksworld.com/AspireToWisdom.htm
You can visit his Mystic Visions website at http://www.aksworld.com
FEAR IS OVERCOME WITH ACTION
-------------------------------------------------
One of the greatest surprises you'll experience, is when you discover that you can do what you were afraid you couldn't do.
Your obstacles will melt away, if instead of cowering before them, you make up your mind to walk boldly through them.
Do the thing you fear and fear disappears. Confront your fears, list them, get to know them and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.
When you face the things that scare you, you open the door to freedom.
The only thing you have to fear, is fear itself.
©2005 by Max Steingart
One of the greatest surprises you'll experience, is when you discover that you can do what you were afraid you couldn't do.
Your obstacles will melt away, if instead of cowering before them, you make up your mind to walk boldly through them.
Do the thing you fear and fear disappears. Confront your fears, list them, get to know them and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.
When you face the things that scare you, you open the door to freedom.
The only thing you have to fear, is fear itself.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Awakening The Serpent
---------------------------------------------------
Kundalini Energy
In the classic Hatha yoga and Tantra traditions, each person is believed to possess a great reservoir of dormant feminine energy. This raw creative energy lies tightly coiled at the base of the spine. It is often associated with the serpent. Kundalini energy is part of the life force, so there is always a minute amount flowing through your subtle body. Only when properly understood and awakened can it express its full potential, rising through you and energizing your senses. It is possible to awaken your Kundalini through different forms of meditation or yoga, though the process should be undertaken slowly. A hasty opening of the Kundalini center can cause headaches and other physical symptoms. Raised properly, Kundalini energy has the potential to spring forth as active kinetic energy that may result in altered states of consciousness.
Once you have tapped into your Kundalini, what you experience will be unique. Some people experience the rising of the Kundalini upward through the chakras as spreading warmth and a feeling of extreme well being. Others find they have more energy and libido and are consistently happier. If you awaken your Kundalini, you may find yourself getting sick less often. The results vary from person to person, but the benefits are generally positive. You may be thinking about raising your Kundalini on your own. One way to do this is to draw the Kundalini up through the Shushumna, the passageway that travels through the center of your body toward the head, by visualizing the energy as a serpent traveling upward. But only bring it up a little at a time and use caution. If you experience headaches or a burning sensation, you may be going to fast and should consult a teacher.
Though awakening the Kundalini can be a difficult experience, it can also be a rewarding and exciting one. As the raw energy of the Kundalini is transformed into a potent storehouse of refined energy waiting to be utilized, you will be tapping into a rich source of creativity and awareness.
What do you think?
Kundalini Energy
In the classic Hatha yoga and Tantra traditions, each person is believed to possess a great reservoir of dormant feminine energy. This raw creative energy lies tightly coiled at the base of the spine. It is often associated with the serpent. Kundalini energy is part of the life force, so there is always a minute amount flowing through your subtle body. Only when properly understood and awakened can it express its full potential, rising through you and energizing your senses. It is possible to awaken your Kundalini through different forms of meditation or yoga, though the process should be undertaken slowly. A hasty opening of the Kundalini center can cause headaches and other physical symptoms. Raised properly, Kundalini energy has the potential to spring forth as active kinetic energy that may result in altered states of consciousness.
Once you have tapped into your Kundalini, what you experience will be unique. Some people experience the rising of the Kundalini upward through the chakras as spreading warmth and a feeling of extreme well being. Others find they have more energy and libido and are consistently happier. If you awaken your Kundalini, you may find yourself getting sick less often. The results vary from person to person, but the benefits are generally positive. You may be thinking about raising your Kundalini on your own. One way to do this is to draw the Kundalini up through the Shushumna, the passageway that travels through the center of your body toward the head, by visualizing the energy as a serpent traveling upward. But only bring it up a little at a time and use caution. If you experience headaches or a burning sensation, you may be going to fast and should consult a teacher.
Though awakening the Kundalini can be a difficult experience, it can also be a rewarding and exciting one. As the raw energy of the Kundalini is transformed into a potent storehouse of refined energy waiting to be utilized, you will be tapping into a rich source of creativity and awareness.
What do you think?
Learn to Forgive Yourself – By Mark Victor Hansen ***
----------------------------------------------------
– By Mark Victor Hansen
Many authors and speakers talk about the power of forgiveness. Forgiving others for the wrongs they have done to us is an important step for living our best life. Some people do things, consciously or not, that lead to years of pain and turmoil in the lives of others. Forgiveness allows us to deal with a situation and move past it. Dwelling on past wrongs will only stop us from living in the present and preparing an abundant future for ourselves.
But what do you do when the person who has hurt you the most is someone you've nevër considered forgiving? What if that person is you?
Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. When you do make a mistake it is perfectly fine to acknowledge it. But, please, don't hold it against yourself for the rest of your life.
If the mistake you made has hurt someone in some way -- apologize. Really apologize. Acknowledge the other person's feelings, say you're sorry, ask for their forgiveness. Then forgive yourself.
If the mistake you made has hurt only you -- perhaps you hate your body, don't think you're good enough, etc. -- apologize to yourself. Really apologize. Acknowledge you've been too hard on yourself, say you're sorry, ask yourself for forgiveness. Then forgive yourself.
When you make mistakes, learn from them. Show your conviction to learning from your mistakes by not making the same one twice. Live consciously. Forgive yourself and do better the next time around.
Ask wisely, with love, for everything you want.
Action Step
In closing this week, I'd like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead:
Sometimes it's harder to forgive ourselves than to forgive others who have wronged us. But it is just as important for inner peace and tranquility. Take out a journal or notebook and ask yourself these questïons:
-- Do I use my inner dialogue to beat myself up mentally and spiritually?
-- Do I not allow myself happiness because I believe, deep down inside, I don't deserve to be happy?
-- Am I holding myself back from relationships because I believe I'll just screw them up -- repeating patterns in the past?
-- Am I settling for a career, relationship, etc. because I believe I'm not worthy of anything better?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questïons it is time to make a change. Acknowledge what you have done to yourself in the past. Forgive yourself. Write down a declaration that from this day forward you will make a conscious effort to treat yourself (and others) with dignity and respect, and love yourself unconditionally.
You deserve the best. Start treating yourself well today!
About the Author:
Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, has for more than 25 years, uniquely focused on the vital elements of human behavior that most affect our personal and professional lives and has influenced society's top leaders and the general public on a global scale. To learn more about Mark and to receive 20% off Mark's best-selling audio programs - Sell Yourself Rich, How To Think Bïgger, The Aladdin Factor and How to Build Your Speaking and Writing Empire - visit
http://www.YourSuccessStore.com or call 877-929-0439.
– By Mark Victor Hansen
Many authors and speakers talk about the power of forgiveness. Forgiving others for the wrongs they have done to us is an important step for living our best life. Some people do things, consciously or not, that lead to years of pain and turmoil in the lives of others. Forgiveness allows us to deal with a situation and move past it. Dwelling on past wrongs will only stop us from living in the present and preparing an abundant future for ourselves.
But what do you do when the person who has hurt you the most is someone you've nevër considered forgiving? What if that person is you?
Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. When you do make a mistake it is perfectly fine to acknowledge it. But, please, don't hold it against yourself for the rest of your life.
If the mistake you made has hurt someone in some way -- apologize. Really apologize. Acknowledge the other person's feelings, say you're sorry, ask for their forgiveness. Then forgive yourself.
If the mistake you made has hurt only you -- perhaps you hate your body, don't think you're good enough, etc. -- apologize to yourself. Really apologize. Acknowledge you've been too hard on yourself, say you're sorry, ask yourself for forgiveness. Then forgive yourself.
When you make mistakes, learn from them. Show your conviction to learning from your mistakes by not making the same one twice. Live consciously. Forgive yourself and do better the next time around.
Ask wisely, with love, for everything you want.
Action Step
In closing this week, I'd like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead:
Sometimes it's harder to forgive ourselves than to forgive others who have wronged us. But it is just as important for inner peace and tranquility. Take out a journal or notebook and ask yourself these questïons:
-- Do I use my inner dialogue to beat myself up mentally and spiritually?
-- Do I not allow myself happiness because I believe, deep down inside, I don't deserve to be happy?
-- Am I holding myself back from relationships because I believe I'll just screw them up -- repeating patterns in the past?
-- Am I settling for a career, relationship, etc. because I believe I'm not worthy of anything better?
If you answered "yes" to any of these questïons it is time to make a change. Acknowledge what you have done to yourself in the past. Forgive yourself. Write down a declaration that from this day forward you will make a conscious effort to treat yourself (and others) with dignity and respect, and love yourself unconditionally.
You deserve the best. Start treating yourself well today!
About the Author:
Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, has for more than 25 years, uniquely focused on the vital elements of human behavior that most affect our personal and professional lives and has influenced society's top leaders and the general public on a global scale. To learn more about Mark and to receive 20% off Mark's best-selling audio programs - Sell Yourself Rich, How To Think Bïgger, The Aladdin Factor and How to Build Your Speaking and Writing Empire - visit
http://www.YourSuccessStore.com or call 877-929-0439.
THE KEY TO MASTERY IS SIMPLICITY
-------------------------------------------------
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
You can increase your understanding of any subject by progressing from the simple to the complex. Divide any complex issue into simple parts, and master each part and no project will be too difficult.
By understanding the simple, you can understand the complex. Solutions are all simple after you have arrived at them. But they are simple only when you know what they are.
Nothing is more simple than greatness: for to be simple is to be great.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
You can increase your understanding of any subject by progressing from the simple to the complex. Divide any complex issue into simple parts, and master each part and no project will be too difficult.
By understanding the simple, you can understand the complex. Solutions are all simple after you have arrived at them. But they are simple only when you know what they are.
Nothing is more simple than greatness: for to be simple is to be great.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, September 19, 2005
Waking To Goodness
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Mornings
At the start of each new day, the first sliver of dawn paints the horizon, and gradually the color spreads, brightening dew, illuminating the world, and inspiring birds to song. Mornings, whether we rise early or late, are more than the buzz of the alarm clock or breakfast time. They are world's rebirth, and can carry with them a sense of hope and renewal. Mornings are an opportunity to start the day with rituals and activities you love, to greet the coming day, and to gather your thoughts over a quiet cup of tea before the responsibilities of living rear up. They can also be a time of appreciation, meditation, or gratefulness. Getting up with the sun gives you a chance to watch the world come to life as the sunshine envelopes everything in its nurturing radiance. But there are also joys inherent in getting up late, in spending a languid morning savoring breakfast and your thoughts.
Mornings, of course, become more enjoyable when we are well rested and organized. If you have collected your day's necessities the night before, you will have more time to appreciate the sparkle of the morning dew, the stillness, or the yellow haze of the sun's first rays. You may want to incorporate a ritual into your morning routine. Five minutes of contemplation, yoga, cuddling with your mate or pet, or a meal with your family can all be valued rituals that center and invigorate you. Whatever your ideal morning ritual, make sure your morning routine is one you enjoy. If you love time to yourself, get up a bit earlier. Likewise, if you find the morning rush stressful, take extra time and concentrate on only essentials so you have time to slow down and enjoy the start of your day.
The early hours of each day mark the beginning of new opportunities, discoveries, and pleasures. Starting the sunlight hours peacefully and happily can leave you with good feelings that last throughout the day. Like the morning, you, too, are reborn each day, given another chance to live well. Make the most of it by embracing each new day right from the start.
What do you think?
Mornings
At the start of each new day, the first sliver of dawn paints the horizon, and gradually the color spreads, brightening dew, illuminating the world, and inspiring birds to song. Mornings, whether we rise early or late, are more than the buzz of the alarm clock or breakfast time. They are world's rebirth, and can carry with them a sense of hope and renewal. Mornings are an opportunity to start the day with rituals and activities you love, to greet the coming day, and to gather your thoughts over a quiet cup of tea before the responsibilities of living rear up. They can also be a time of appreciation, meditation, or gratefulness. Getting up with the sun gives you a chance to watch the world come to life as the sunshine envelopes everything in its nurturing radiance. But there are also joys inherent in getting up late, in spending a languid morning savoring breakfast and your thoughts.
Mornings, of course, become more enjoyable when we are well rested and organized. If you have collected your day's necessities the night before, you will have more time to appreciate the sparkle of the morning dew, the stillness, or the yellow haze of the sun's first rays. You may want to incorporate a ritual into your morning routine. Five minutes of contemplation, yoga, cuddling with your mate or pet, or a meal with your family can all be valued rituals that center and invigorate you. Whatever your ideal morning ritual, make sure your morning routine is one you enjoy. If you love time to yourself, get up a bit earlier. Likewise, if you find the morning rush stressful, take extra time and concentrate on only essentials so you have time to slow down and enjoy the start of your day.
The early hours of each day mark the beginning of new opportunities, discoveries, and pleasures. Starting the sunlight hours peacefully and happily can leave you with good feelings that last throughout the day. Like the morning, you, too, are reborn each day, given another chance to live well. Make the most of it by embracing each new day right from the start.
What do you think?
The power of praise
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- By Bruno Gideon
Expressing approval or paying a compliment is the only mind-altering drug without negative side effects – and it is an incredibly powerful one. Whenever appropriate, today and tomorrow and always, don't just think "What a great job…" but vocalize it. You can brighten the lives of those around you by noticing them and commenting on their actions positively. There is just one important condition: your words must be honest.
A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed
from a kick in the pants, but is miles ahead in results.
– Ella Wheeler
The sweetest of all sounds is praise.
– Xenophon
Wherever you are in your business or in private life, whether at the top or just beginning to climb up the ladder, don't you enjoy it when someone tells you that you did something well? That’s true not only for you, but for everyone – even the waiter who just served you lunch. Every moment of our life we get a new chance to say something nice to the people around us and brighten their day. Let's do it!
How about giving an unexpected "thank you" just now?
- Bruno Gideon
- By Bruno Gideon
Expressing approval or paying a compliment is the only mind-altering drug without negative side effects – and it is an incredibly powerful one. Whenever appropriate, today and tomorrow and always, don't just think "What a great job…" but vocalize it. You can brighten the lives of those around you by noticing them and commenting on their actions positively. There is just one important condition: your words must be honest.
A pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed
from a kick in the pants, but is miles ahead in results.
– Ella Wheeler
The sweetest of all sounds is praise.
– Xenophon
Wherever you are in your business or in private life, whether at the top or just beginning to climb up the ladder, don't you enjoy it when someone tells you that you did something well? That’s true not only for you, but for everyone – even the waiter who just served you lunch. Every moment of our life we get a new chance to say something nice to the people around us and brighten their day. Let's do it!
How about giving an unexpected "thank you" just now?
- Bruno Gideon
BEING SUCCESSFUL IS A CHOICE YOU MAKE
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Your success isn't a matter of luck, it's simply a matter of the choices you make. Success isn't something you can wait for, it's something you'll achieve with effort over time. Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.
You can choose to be lazy or ambitious. Stop and think about your choice again. You always do your own choosing.
The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now. Every situation, properly perceived, is an opportunity for you.
First, say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do to make things happen.
Success is right in front of you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Your success isn't a matter of luck, it's simply a matter of the choices you make. Success isn't something you can wait for, it's something you'll achieve with effort over time. Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.
You can choose to be lazy or ambitious. Stop and think about your choice again. You always do your own choosing.
The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now. Every situation, properly perceived, is an opportunity for you.
First, say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do to make things happen.
Success is right in front of you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, September 16, 2005
Centered Silliness
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Laughing Meditation
Many people might be surprised to think of laughter as a form of meditation. Yet not only is laughing meditation one of the simplest forms of meditation, but also it is a very powerful one. The physical act of laughing is one of the few actions involving the body, emotions, and the soul. When we laugh, we give ourselves over to the immediacy of the present moment. We also are able to momentarily transcend minor physical and mental stresses. Practiced in the morning, laughing meditation can lend a joyful quality to the entire day. Practiced in the evening, laughing meditation is a potent relaxant that has been known to inspire pleasant dreams. Laughter also can help open our eyes to previously unnoticed absurdities that can make life seem less serious.
There are three stages to mindful laughter. Each stage can last anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. The first stage involves stretching your body like a cat and breathing deeply. Your stretch should start at the hands and feet before you move through the rest of your body. Stretch out the muscles in your face by yawning and making silly faces. The second stage of the meditation is pure laughter. Imagine a humorous situation, remember funny jokes, or think about how odd it is to be laughing by yourself. When the giggles start to rise, let them. Let the laughter ripple through your belly and down into the soles of your feet. Let the laughter lead to physical movement. Roll on the floor, if you have to, and keep on laughing until you stop. The final stage of the meditation is one of silence. Sit with your eyes closed and focus on your breath.
Laughter brings with it a host of positive effects that operate on both the physical and mental levels. It is also fun, expressive, and a way to release tension. Learn to laugh in the present moment, and you'll find that joy is always there.
What do you think?
Laughing Meditation
Many people might be surprised to think of laughter as a form of meditation. Yet not only is laughing meditation one of the simplest forms of meditation, but also it is a very powerful one. The physical act of laughing is one of the few actions involving the body, emotions, and the soul. When we laugh, we give ourselves over to the immediacy of the present moment. We also are able to momentarily transcend minor physical and mental stresses. Practiced in the morning, laughing meditation can lend a joyful quality to the entire day. Practiced in the evening, laughing meditation is a potent relaxant that has been known to inspire pleasant dreams. Laughter also can help open our eyes to previously unnoticed absurdities that can make life seem less serious.
There are three stages to mindful laughter. Each stage can last anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. The first stage involves stretching your body like a cat and breathing deeply. Your stretch should start at the hands and feet before you move through the rest of your body. Stretch out the muscles in your face by yawning and making silly faces. The second stage of the meditation is pure laughter. Imagine a humorous situation, remember funny jokes, or think about how odd it is to be laughing by yourself. When the giggles start to rise, let them. Let the laughter ripple through your belly and down into the soles of your feet. Let the laughter lead to physical movement. Roll on the floor, if you have to, and keep on laughing until you stop. The final stage of the meditation is one of silence. Sit with your eyes closed and focus on your breath.
Laughter brings with it a host of positive effects that operate on both the physical and mental levels. It is also fun, expressive, and a way to release tension. Learn to laugh in the present moment, and you'll find that joy is always there.
What do you think?
Year of the Rainbow
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- By Lynnda Ell
The last day of the 2004 . how can that be? It seems like yesterday that we began the year. God has blessed me in so many ways, this year.
I want to share with you one of those ways. He gave me a gift of beauty so incredible that it's difficult to put into words.
On one of our trips to Texarkana, Arkansas to see my daughter and her family, we were driving though some thunderstorms. The direction in which we were driving and the angle of the sun gave us the most beautiful double rainbow set that I've ever seen. We were crossing over the Mississippi River Bridge in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, so as we topped the bridge we could see right to the ends of both rainbows. As we drove off the bridge, it appeared as if we would drive right through the middle of one of them, but both rainbows kept popping back away from us as we approached them.
The road curved and we began to drive toward the end of the closest one. I expected the rainbow to move again - but it didn't! As we drove towards it, the bands of color began to change. The red, green and blue bands began to fade and thin until they were completely gone. As we approached the end of the rainbow the remaining band of yellow broadened until it was several feet wide and the color changed to a beautiful gold. Then wonder of wonders, we drove right through the golden band of color!
I cannot explain the feeling that Mother and I had at that moment except to say that it was a holy time. We were humbled by the graciousness of God to give us such a unique experience. We felt transported to the very gates of Heaven.
As I've thought over what happened, I think I can see the origins of the legend about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I believe it may have begun as someone else was having had an experience similar to ours and their description of "band of gold" was changed over time to "the pot of gold."
The eighth chapter of Romans says that God will "graciously give us all things." It is out of His boundless storehouse of surprises that we are given the most unexpected gifts. And 2004 will always be the Year of the Rainbow for me.
About the Author:
Lynnda Ell is a born again mother, grandmother and electrical engineer. She lives in New Orleans, LA. where she works for a Fortune 500 gas and electric utility company. She serves in her church as one of the worship team by operating the sound system. If you enjoyed her story or can offer her words of encouragement, contact her at lynnda4lamour@wmconnect.com
- By Lynnda Ell
The last day of the 2004 . how can that be? It seems like yesterday that we began the year. God has blessed me in so many ways, this year.
I want to share with you one of those ways. He gave me a gift of beauty so incredible that it's difficult to put into words.
On one of our trips to Texarkana, Arkansas to see my daughter and her family, we were driving though some thunderstorms. The direction in which we were driving and the angle of the sun gave us the most beautiful double rainbow set that I've ever seen. We were crossing over the Mississippi River Bridge in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, so as we topped the bridge we could see right to the ends of both rainbows. As we drove off the bridge, it appeared as if we would drive right through the middle of one of them, but both rainbows kept popping back away from us as we approached them.
The road curved and we began to drive toward the end of the closest one. I expected the rainbow to move again - but it didn't! As we drove towards it, the bands of color began to change. The red, green and blue bands began to fade and thin until they were completely gone. As we approached the end of the rainbow the remaining band of yellow broadened until it was several feet wide and the color changed to a beautiful gold. Then wonder of wonders, we drove right through the golden band of color!
I cannot explain the feeling that Mother and I had at that moment except to say that it was a holy time. We were humbled by the graciousness of God to give us such a unique experience. We felt transported to the very gates of Heaven.
As I've thought over what happened, I think I can see the origins of the legend about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I believe it may have begun as someone else was having had an experience similar to ours and their description of "band of gold" was changed over time to "the pot of gold."
The eighth chapter of Romans says that God will "graciously give us all things." It is out of His boundless storehouse of surprises that we are given the most unexpected gifts. And 2004 will always be the Year of the Rainbow for me.
About the Author:
Lynnda Ell is a born again mother, grandmother and electrical engineer. She lives in New Orleans, LA. where she works for a Fortune 500 gas and electric utility company. She serves in her church as one of the worship team by operating the sound system. If you enjoyed her story or can offer her words of encouragement, contact her at lynnda4lamour@wmconnect.com
LIFE RESPONDS TO YOUR OUTLOOK
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The dreams you choose to believe in come to be. When you feel in your innermost being that you will achieve what you set out to do, you open the way for miracles.
Choose to believe something good can happen. Expecting it to happen energizes your goal and actually gives it momentum. What you expect to happen, happens.
If you expect to succeed, you'll succeed.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The dreams you choose to believe in come to be. When you feel in your innermost being that you will achieve what you set out to do, you open the way for miracles.
Choose to believe something good can happen. Expecting it to happen energizes your goal and actually gives it momentum. What you expect to happen, happens.
If you expect to succeed, you'll succeed.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Conscious Idle
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The Art of Inactivity
Our world is one of cycles. Tides ebb and flow, one season gives way to the next, night follows day. In our own lives, we have periods of great activity and periods of rest. Just as high tide is no better than low tide and summer no better than spring, activity is not, in itself, better than inactivity. If fact, these times of rest and rejuvenation, idleness and dreaming, help us connect to ourselves and to our divine source.
Our culture tends to applaud action and achievement. We are often most comfortable with ourselves when we are clearly traveling toward a goal. During these times of striving, we direct our energy outward. We take action on our vision and follow the steps that lead us to our goal. But there are moments in this process when the urge comes to take a break, retreat, or just lay low. The tendency may be to judge ourselves negatively as we may be less comfortable with these moments of down time which is a great time to check in with our intention.
By being aware of your intention behind the action of laying low you can gain a higher perspective on it. Ask yourself if your intention is to honor an essential part of your being or to hide from it. Is your intent one that is ultimately kind to yourself - empowering rather than diminishing? Perhaps you sense it is simply time to pause and allow the universe work its magic on your behalf.
When you feel the urge to have down time, trust that this is a natural part of the process of achieving your goals. Know that what may appear to be a deviation from your path can actually prove to be a shortcut and give yourself permission to do exactly as you are moved to do. Curl up under the covers with a favorite book or catch an old movie on TV. Soak up some sun or daydream the day away. Better yet, do nothing at all. Allow yourself to simply be - alive and at ease.
What do you think?
The Art of Inactivity
Our world is one of cycles. Tides ebb and flow, one season gives way to the next, night follows day. In our own lives, we have periods of great activity and periods of rest. Just as high tide is no better than low tide and summer no better than spring, activity is not, in itself, better than inactivity. If fact, these times of rest and rejuvenation, idleness and dreaming, help us connect to ourselves and to our divine source.
Our culture tends to applaud action and achievement. We are often most comfortable with ourselves when we are clearly traveling toward a goal. During these times of striving, we direct our energy outward. We take action on our vision and follow the steps that lead us to our goal. But there are moments in this process when the urge comes to take a break, retreat, or just lay low. The tendency may be to judge ourselves negatively as we may be less comfortable with these moments of down time which is a great time to check in with our intention.
By being aware of your intention behind the action of laying low you can gain a higher perspective on it. Ask yourself if your intention is to honor an essential part of your being or to hide from it. Is your intent one that is ultimately kind to yourself - empowering rather than diminishing? Perhaps you sense it is simply time to pause and allow the universe work its magic on your behalf.
When you feel the urge to have down time, trust that this is a natural part of the process of achieving your goals. Know that what may appear to be a deviation from your path can actually prove to be a shortcut and give yourself permission to do exactly as you are moved to do. Curl up under the covers with a favorite book or catch an old movie on TV. Soak up some sun or daydream the day away. Better yet, do nothing at all. Allow yourself to simply be - alive and at ease.
What do you think?
Solving Problems Effectively
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- By Brian Tracy
How to solve problems and make decisions more effectively in discussions with other people. Your ability to communicate is the most important skill you can develop to get on to the fast track in your career. Perhaps the most important thing you do in business is to solve problems and make decisions, both by yourself and with other people.
Use A Systematic Process
A major type of communication in the business organization is meetings for problem solving and decision making. The key to effective problem solving and decision making discussions, is for you to all go through the process systematically.
Define The Problem Clearly
Right at the beginning, you ask the question, "What exactly is the problem?" Clarity of definition will resolve 50% of the issues before they go any further.
#1 New York Times bestselling author, T Harv Eker and myself have teamed up to support those who were devastated by hurricane Katrina. I want you to know about Harv's Secrets of the Millionaire Mind Seminar, where a portion of all the proceeds from his latest book will be donated to those who need our help. The world-famous seminar is coming to your city soon, and I want you to attend as my guest.
Focus On The Future
When discussing a problem, be sure to focus on the future over the past. Ask the question, "Where do we go from here?” “What do we do from here?” “What are our options for the future?" Too many problem-solving discussions end up focusing all of the attention of all the people present on what happened in the past and who is to blame. The effective executive uses this type of communication to focus on where the company and the individuals are going, and what can happen in the future - the only part of the situation over which anyone has any control.
Talk About The Solutions
A second element in effective problem solving communications is for you to talk about the solutions instead of talking about the problems. It is for you to keep the attention of the individuals in the meeting focused on the possible solutions and what can be done rather than what has already happened.
Release Creativity
The discussion of solutions is inherently positive, uplifting and has a tendency to release creativity amongst the group. A discussion of problems is inherently negative, de-motivating and tends to inhibit creativity.
The Key To Positive Thinking
You can become a positive thinker simply by becoming a solution-oriented person rather than a problem-oriented person. If you get everyone in your organization thinking and talking in terms of solutions, you will be astonished at the quality and quantity of ideas that will emerge.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can immediately to become a better problem solver and decision maker.
First, take some time to be absolutely clear about the problem that is under discussion. Give some thought to what an ideal decision or solution would accomplish. Instead of focusing on the situation as it is, talk about the situation, as you would like it to be.
Second, keep the conversation focused on solutions, on what can be done in the future. The more you think and talk about solutions, the more positive and creative everyone will be and the better ideas you will come up with.
- Brian Tracy
- By Brian Tracy
How to solve problems and make decisions more effectively in discussions with other people. Your ability to communicate is the most important skill you can develop to get on to the fast track in your career. Perhaps the most important thing you do in business is to solve problems and make decisions, both by yourself and with other people.
Use A Systematic Process
A major type of communication in the business organization is meetings for problem solving and decision making. The key to effective problem solving and decision making discussions, is for you to all go through the process systematically.
Define The Problem Clearly
Right at the beginning, you ask the question, "What exactly is the problem?" Clarity of definition will resolve 50% of the issues before they go any further.
#1 New York Times bestselling author, T Harv Eker and myself have teamed up to support those who were devastated by hurricane Katrina. I want you to know about Harv's Secrets of the Millionaire Mind Seminar, where a portion of all the proceeds from his latest book will be donated to those who need our help. The world-famous seminar is coming to your city soon, and I want you to attend as my guest.
Focus On The Future
When discussing a problem, be sure to focus on the future over the past. Ask the question, "Where do we go from here?” “What do we do from here?” “What are our options for the future?" Too many problem-solving discussions end up focusing all of the attention of all the people present on what happened in the past and who is to blame. The effective executive uses this type of communication to focus on where the company and the individuals are going, and what can happen in the future - the only part of the situation over which anyone has any control.
Talk About The Solutions
A second element in effective problem solving communications is for you to talk about the solutions instead of talking about the problems. It is for you to keep the attention of the individuals in the meeting focused on the possible solutions and what can be done rather than what has already happened.
Release Creativity
The discussion of solutions is inherently positive, uplifting and has a tendency to release creativity amongst the group. A discussion of problems is inherently negative, de-motivating and tends to inhibit creativity.
The Key To Positive Thinking
You can become a positive thinker simply by becoming a solution-oriented person rather than a problem-oriented person. If you get everyone in your organization thinking and talking in terms of solutions, you will be astonished at the quality and quantity of ideas that will emerge.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can immediately to become a better problem solver and decision maker.
First, take some time to be absolutely clear about the problem that is under discussion. Give some thought to what an ideal decision or solution would accomplish. Instead of focusing on the situation as it is, talk about the situation, as you would like it to be.
Second, keep the conversation focused on solutions, on what can be done in the future. The more you think and talk about solutions, the more positive and creative everyone will be and the better ideas you will come up with.
- Brian Tracy
YOU CANNOT FAIL WITH A PLAN
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Wanting success isn't sufficient enough to get it. You have to ask yourself, "What am I going to do to get the things I want?"
Your problem is how to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.
You cannot fail with a definite step by step plan, because each step carries you along to the next step, like a track. All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.
You cannot get lost on a straight road.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wanting success isn't sufficient enough to get it. You have to ask yourself, "What am I going to do to get the things I want?"
Your problem is how to bridge the gap which exists between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach.
You cannot fail with a definite step by step plan, because each step carries you along to the next step, like a track. All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.
You cannot get lost on a straight road.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Patient Perseverance
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Drawing Strength From Plants
Each season, grasses, flowers, shrubs, and trees let a part of themselves go in the form of seeds. Every one of those seeds is a point of life, containing the full potential of the parent. In the quest to find a rooting spot, they are buffeted by winds, parched by sun, and soaked by rain. And, as likely as not, they find cement or stone rather than fertile soil. Yet each season, the seeds find what purchase they can and put forth their roots, slowly creating more space for themselves and pushing ever upward, even when the new world they discover is harsh and unpredictable. Seedlings are small, but a single plant can widen a crack in a sidewalk or turn a rock to dust through nothing more than patient perseverance.
In our lives, it is not uncommon to find ourselves cast into the wind, through our own choices or through fate. We are blown hither and thither by fear, uncertainty, and the influence of others. If we do find purchase, the obstacles we face may seem insurmountable and the challenges too much to bear. When this happens, look around you and note the seemingly desolate and inhospitable places in which plants have thrived. Given little choice, they set down their roots and hold on tightly, making the best of their situation. Then look at your own circumstances. Ask yourself if there is an unimagined source of strength that you can tap into. Look toward the future. Imagine a time in which you have widened a place for yourself and have flourished through your difficulties.
The smallest things in life, like the tiny sprouts, given time and the will to forge on, can overcome any circumstance and break down huge barriers. It can be tempting, however, when faced with rough or uncertain odds, to give up, to change direction, or to choose the easiest path. But within you, there exists the same resolve and fortitude as displayed in these courageous plants. You, too, in finding yourself in a tight spot, can look ever upward, grabbing hold where you can, using your determination to reach toward new heights.
What do you think?
Drawing Strength From Plants
Each season, grasses, flowers, shrubs, and trees let a part of themselves go in the form of seeds. Every one of those seeds is a point of life, containing the full potential of the parent. In the quest to find a rooting spot, they are buffeted by winds, parched by sun, and soaked by rain. And, as likely as not, they find cement or stone rather than fertile soil. Yet each season, the seeds find what purchase they can and put forth their roots, slowly creating more space for themselves and pushing ever upward, even when the new world they discover is harsh and unpredictable. Seedlings are small, but a single plant can widen a crack in a sidewalk or turn a rock to dust through nothing more than patient perseverance.
In our lives, it is not uncommon to find ourselves cast into the wind, through our own choices or through fate. We are blown hither and thither by fear, uncertainty, and the influence of others. If we do find purchase, the obstacles we face may seem insurmountable and the challenges too much to bear. When this happens, look around you and note the seemingly desolate and inhospitable places in which plants have thrived. Given little choice, they set down their roots and hold on tightly, making the best of their situation. Then look at your own circumstances. Ask yourself if there is an unimagined source of strength that you can tap into. Look toward the future. Imagine a time in which you have widened a place for yourself and have flourished through your difficulties.
The smallest things in life, like the tiny sprouts, given time and the will to forge on, can overcome any circumstance and break down huge barriers. It can be tempting, however, when faced with rough or uncertain odds, to give up, to change direction, or to choose the easiest path. But within you, there exists the same resolve and fortitude as displayed in these courageous plants. You, too, in finding yourself in a tight spot, can look ever upward, grabbing hold where you can, using your determination to reach toward new heights.
What do you think?
Sixteen Commonsense Listening Tips
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– By Dr. Tony Alessandra
The reason you don't understand me, Edith, is because I'm talkin' to you in English and you're listenin' to me in dingbat!" – Archie Bunker
Archie was right about finding a common language or wavelength, but it takes two to communicate - the speaker and the listener. Both need to make the effort to understand each other. According to a French proverb, "The spoken word belongs half to him that speaks and half to him who hears."
All skills require learned behaviors and rules. The rules for good listening involve basic courtesy, sorely needed by Archie, and common sense. Some of the rules may seem obvious, but it is amazing how many people forget them and unintentionally insult the speaker.
Often, without intending to be rude, your enthusiasm for a subject and your own desire to hear yourself talk cause you to forget courtesy. At other times you may be so involved with your own point of view that you forget to listen to what your client is saying; you just plain stop listening!
So, when conversing with another person, be aware of and practice the following rules:
1. Let others tell their own stories first.
When others explain their situations, they may reveal interesting facts and valuable clues that will aid you in helping them solve their problems or satisfy their needs. By letting them speak first, you also save time. When their interests are revealed you can tailor your discussion to their particular needs, goals, and objectives and can dispense with inappropriate conversation.
2. It is impossible to listen and talk at the same time.
This basic rule of effective listening is most often broken, especially by Archie Bunker. People anxious to add their own views to the conversation try to interject comments while another person is speaking. They wait for a pause in the conversation and "rapid fire'' their comments at the other person. This interjection of random comments is irritating to the speaker and actually slows the conversation because the initial speaker must dodge the comments and still keep his train of thought. Why not wait until the speaker's point is made? Then you will have your chance.
An enormous benefit of listening to your client is that he may "sell himself." He may solve his own problems or even come up with some product benefits that hadn't occurred to you. In addition, encouraging the client to talk keeps him from feeling pressured into a sale. Building confidence and reducing tension strengthen the trust bond between you and your client.
A client who "sells himself" is likely to be more fully committed and less likely to have "buyer's remorse." He may become a staunch defender of your product, be open-minded in future dealings, and be more likely to listen to you.
3. Listen for the main ideas.
Specific facts are only important as they pertain to the main theme. They can cause misinterpretation if taken out of context. Relate stated facts to the arguments of the speaker and weigh the verbal evidence used. Take advantage of the superior speed of thought over words and periodically review a portion of the discussion that has already been completed.
A good listener also tries to guess the points the speaker will make. Ask yourself: "What is the speaker getting at?" or "What is his point?" Then get feedback. If you guess correctly, your understanding is enhanced, and your attention is increased. If you are incorrect, you learn from your mistake.
4. Be sensitive to your emotional deaf spots.
Deaf spots are words that make your mind wander or go off on a mental tangent. They set off a chain reaction that produces a mental barrier in your mind, which in turn inhibits the continued flow of the speaker's message. Everyone is affected by certain words so it is important to discover your own individual stumbling blocks and analyze why these words have such a profound effect on you.
5. Fight off distractions.
Train yourself to listen carefully to your customer's words, despite such external distractions as a ringing telephone, passersby, or other office noise. Localized distractions, such as the idiosyncrasies of the speaker, may also be irritating, but make a conscious attempt to judge the content of the message - not the delivery.
Focus your attention on the words, ideas, feelings, and underlying intent. Through practice you can improve your power of concentration, so that you can block out external and internal distractions and attend totally to the speaker.
6. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important.
Take brief notes because listening ability is impaired while you are writing. Remember - you cannot effectively do two things at the same time. Write notes in words and phrases rather than complete thoughts. All you need is something to jog your memory later in the day, and then you can recall the complete content of the message. Read your notes as soon as possible to make sure you understand what you put down on paper and always review them before subsequent contact with your clients.
7. React to the message, not the person.
Don't allow your mental impression of the speaker to influence your interpretation of his message. Good thoughts, concepts, and arguments can come from some of your least favorite people. George Jefferson planted the seeds of many ideas in Archie's fertile imagination.
8. Try to appreciate the emotion behind the words (vocal and visual messages) more than the literal meaning of the words.
Try to ask yourself these questïons when another person is speaking:
a. What are the other person's feelings?
b. What does he mean by what he is saying?
c. What is his point of view?
d. Why is he saying this?
e. What is implied by what he says?
9. Use feedback.
Constantly try to chëck your understanding of what you hear. Do not only hear what you want to hear. In addition, chëck to see if the other person wants to comment or respond to what you have previously said. Archie and Edith could have avoided many misunderstandings by simply using feedback.
10. Listen selectively.
Critical messages may be hidden within the broader context of a conversation. Listen in such a way that you can separate the wheat from the chaff. Always ask yourself: "What is he telling me that can help me satisfy his needs, solve his problems, and accomplish his goals?"
11. Relax.
When another person speaks, try to put him at ease by creating a relaxed, accepting environment. Do not give the speaker the impression that you want to jump right in and speak. Give him a chance to speak his mind.
12. Try not to be critical of the other person's point of view.
Hold your temper and your emotional feelings and try to listen to truly understand. Be patient, Archie. Allow the speaker plenty of time to fully finish his train of thought. You might find that what you were initially going to disagree with wasn't such a bad idea after all. Keep an open mind. If you give the other person half a chance to tell you his views, you might find that you have learned something.
13. Listen attentively.
Face the speaker with uncrossed arms and legs; lean slightly forward. Establish gentle, intermittent eye contact. Use affirmative head nods and appropriate facial expressions when called for, but do not overdo it. Occasionally respond to your customer with "uh huh," "go on," or "yes," to demonstrate that you are listening.
14. Create a positive listening environment.
Shoot for a private atmosphere away from sources of distraction. Make the effort to ensure that the environment is conducive to effective listening.
15. Ask questïons.
Ask open-ended questïons to allow the speaker to express his feelings and thoughts. A simple "yes" or "no" is not enough. Use development questïons like "How can I help you?" or "Where do we go from hëre?" to ask the speaker for more details on specific subjects. Clarifying questïons seek information by restating the speaker's remarks.
These techniques demonstrate that you're hearing correctly. If you keep the other person talking, potential ambiguities clear up. The effective use of questïons also allows you to contribute to the conversation.
16. Be motivated to listen.
Without the proper attitude all the foregoing suggestions for effective listening are worthless. Try to keep in mind that there is no such thing as an uninteresting speaker, only disinterested listeners. Put out the extra effort to try to listen.
Learning to listen effectively pays off in stronger trust bonds and increased säles. Others feel relieved to find people who actively listen and try to understand what they have to say about their problems and needs. Once that occurs, the speaker generally reciprocates by listening when it's the other person's turn to speak. That leads to an open, honest information exchange, the kind Edith Bunker was yearning for. Isn't that what communication is all about?
About the Author:
Dr. Tony Alessandra helps companies build customers, relationships, and the bottom-line. Tony has a street-wise, college-smart perspective on business, having fought his way out of NYC to eventually realizing success as a graduate professor of marketing, entrepreneur, business author, and consultant. Dr. Alessandra earned his MBA from the Universïty of Connecticut and his Ph.D. in marketing from Georgia State Universïty. He was inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame in 1985. To order Tony's best-selling program, The 10 Qualities of Charismatic People, go to http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/alessandra.html
– By Dr. Tony Alessandra
The reason you don't understand me, Edith, is because I'm talkin' to you in English and you're listenin' to me in dingbat!" – Archie Bunker
Archie was right about finding a common language or wavelength, but it takes two to communicate - the speaker and the listener. Both need to make the effort to understand each other. According to a French proverb, "The spoken word belongs half to him that speaks and half to him who hears."
All skills require learned behaviors and rules. The rules for good listening involve basic courtesy, sorely needed by Archie, and common sense. Some of the rules may seem obvious, but it is amazing how many people forget them and unintentionally insult the speaker.
Often, without intending to be rude, your enthusiasm for a subject and your own desire to hear yourself talk cause you to forget courtesy. At other times you may be so involved with your own point of view that you forget to listen to what your client is saying; you just plain stop listening!
So, when conversing with another person, be aware of and practice the following rules:
1. Let others tell their own stories first.
When others explain their situations, they may reveal interesting facts and valuable clues that will aid you in helping them solve their problems or satisfy their needs. By letting them speak first, you also save time. When their interests are revealed you can tailor your discussion to their particular needs, goals, and objectives and can dispense with inappropriate conversation.
2. It is impossible to listen and talk at the same time.
This basic rule of effective listening is most often broken, especially by Archie Bunker. People anxious to add their own views to the conversation try to interject comments while another person is speaking. They wait for a pause in the conversation and "rapid fire'' their comments at the other person. This interjection of random comments is irritating to the speaker and actually slows the conversation because the initial speaker must dodge the comments and still keep his train of thought. Why not wait until the speaker's point is made? Then you will have your chance.
An enormous benefit of listening to your client is that he may "sell himself." He may solve his own problems or even come up with some product benefits that hadn't occurred to you. In addition, encouraging the client to talk keeps him from feeling pressured into a sale. Building confidence and reducing tension strengthen the trust bond between you and your client.
A client who "sells himself" is likely to be more fully committed and less likely to have "buyer's remorse." He may become a staunch defender of your product, be open-minded in future dealings, and be more likely to listen to you.
3. Listen for the main ideas.
Specific facts are only important as they pertain to the main theme. They can cause misinterpretation if taken out of context. Relate stated facts to the arguments of the speaker and weigh the verbal evidence used. Take advantage of the superior speed of thought over words and periodically review a portion of the discussion that has already been completed.
A good listener also tries to guess the points the speaker will make. Ask yourself: "What is the speaker getting at?" or "What is his point?" Then get feedback. If you guess correctly, your understanding is enhanced, and your attention is increased. If you are incorrect, you learn from your mistake.
4. Be sensitive to your emotional deaf spots.
Deaf spots are words that make your mind wander or go off on a mental tangent. They set off a chain reaction that produces a mental barrier in your mind, which in turn inhibits the continued flow of the speaker's message. Everyone is affected by certain words so it is important to discover your own individual stumbling blocks and analyze why these words have such a profound effect on you.
5. Fight off distractions.
Train yourself to listen carefully to your customer's words, despite such external distractions as a ringing telephone, passersby, or other office noise. Localized distractions, such as the idiosyncrasies of the speaker, may also be irritating, but make a conscious attempt to judge the content of the message - not the delivery.
Focus your attention on the words, ideas, feelings, and underlying intent. Through practice you can improve your power of concentration, so that you can block out external and internal distractions and attend totally to the speaker.
6. Do not trust to memory certain data that may be important.
Take brief notes because listening ability is impaired while you are writing. Remember - you cannot effectively do two things at the same time. Write notes in words and phrases rather than complete thoughts. All you need is something to jog your memory later in the day, and then you can recall the complete content of the message. Read your notes as soon as possible to make sure you understand what you put down on paper and always review them before subsequent contact with your clients.
7. React to the message, not the person.
Don't allow your mental impression of the speaker to influence your interpretation of his message. Good thoughts, concepts, and arguments can come from some of your least favorite people. George Jefferson planted the seeds of many ideas in Archie's fertile imagination.
8. Try to appreciate the emotion behind the words (vocal and visual messages) more than the literal meaning of the words.
Try to ask yourself these questïons when another person is speaking:
a. What are the other person's feelings?
b. What does he mean by what he is saying?
c. What is his point of view?
d. Why is he saying this?
e. What is implied by what he says?
9. Use feedback.
Constantly try to chëck your understanding of what you hear. Do not only hear what you want to hear. In addition, chëck to see if the other person wants to comment or respond to what you have previously said. Archie and Edith could have avoided many misunderstandings by simply using feedback.
10. Listen selectively.
Critical messages may be hidden within the broader context of a conversation. Listen in such a way that you can separate the wheat from the chaff. Always ask yourself: "What is he telling me that can help me satisfy his needs, solve his problems, and accomplish his goals?"
11. Relax.
When another person speaks, try to put him at ease by creating a relaxed, accepting environment. Do not give the speaker the impression that you want to jump right in and speak. Give him a chance to speak his mind.
12. Try not to be critical of the other person's point of view.
Hold your temper and your emotional feelings and try to listen to truly understand. Be patient, Archie. Allow the speaker plenty of time to fully finish his train of thought. You might find that what you were initially going to disagree with wasn't such a bad idea after all. Keep an open mind. If you give the other person half a chance to tell you his views, you might find that you have learned something.
13. Listen attentively.
Face the speaker with uncrossed arms and legs; lean slightly forward. Establish gentle, intermittent eye contact. Use affirmative head nods and appropriate facial expressions when called for, but do not overdo it. Occasionally respond to your customer with "uh huh," "go on," or "yes," to demonstrate that you are listening.
14. Create a positive listening environment.
Shoot for a private atmosphere away from sources of distraction. Make the effort to ensure that the environment is conducive to effective listening.
15. Ask questïons.
Ask open-ended questïons to allow the speaker to express his feelings and thoughts. A simple "yes" or "no" is not enough. Use development questïons like "How can I help you?" or "Where do we go from hëre?" to ask the speaker for more details on specific subjects. Clarifying questïons seek information by restating the speaker's remarks.
These techniques demonstrate that you're hearing correctly. If you keep the other person talking, potential ambiguities clear up. The effective use of questïons also allows you to contribute to the conversation.
16. Be motivated to listen.
Without the proper attitude all the foregoing suggestions for effective listening are worthless. Try to keep in mind that there is no such thing as an uninteresting speaker, only disinterested listeners. Put out the extra effort to try to listen.
Learning to listen effectively pays off in stronger trust bonds and increased säles. Others feel relieved to find people who actively listen and try to understand what they have to say about their problems and needs. Once that occurs, the speaker generally reciprocates by listening when it's the other person's turn to speak. That leads to an open, honest information exchange, the kind Edith Bunker was yearning for. Isn't that what communication is all about?
About the Author:
Dr. Tony Alessandra helps companies build customers, relationships, and the bottom-line. Tony has a street-wise, college-smart perspective on business, having fought his way out of NYC to eventually realizing success as a graduate professor of marketing, entrepreneur, business author, and consultant. Dr. Alessandra earned his MBA from the Universïty of Connecticut and his Ph.D. in marketing from Georgia State Universïty. He was inducted into the Speakers Hall of Fame in 1985. To order Tony's best-selling program, The 10 Qualities of Charismatic People, go to http://www.selfgrowth.com/products/alessandra.html
YOU ONLY GET TO KEEP WHAT YOU GIVE AWAY
-------------------------------------------------
It's a universal law: You have to give before you get. You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest. The more you sow, the more you will reap. In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.
The law works to give you back more than you have sown. The giver's harvest is always full. Those that obtain have little. Those who scatter have much.
Nature does not give to those who will not spend.
©2005 by Max Steingart
It's a universal law: You have to give before you get. You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest. The more you sow, the more you will reap. In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.
The law works to give you back more than you have sown. The giver's harvest is always full. Those that obtain have little. Those who scatter have much.
Nature does not give to those who will not spend.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Seeing Yourself Through Different Eyes
-------------------------------------------------
How Others Perceive You
Each time we look in a mirror, we choose the lens through which we view ourselves. We choose which aspects of ourselves - of our bodies and of our beings - we focus our attention on. Sometimes we take in our whole figure, or more often, we see ourselves as a collection of individual parts, some of which we classify as "good" and others as "bad." We compare ourselves to our peers and to an ideal image we hold in our mind. We wonder if others see us the same way we see ourselves, if they make the same classifications and hold the same judgments.
A young child looks at the world through fresh eyes, seeing, taking it all in, but not judging. As we grow and learn about our world, we develop our own associations. We absorb the notions of beauty held by the culture in which we are raised and we internalize the remarks of parents, friends, and even strangers. All of these elements color our view of ourselves.
Others view us through the filter of their own experiences. They bring their own associations to bear on what they see, but they also pick up the images each of us projects outward. Those little mental snapshots we take when we look at ourselves in the mirror become part of our energy field and part of our self-definition. Interestingly, we can change others' view of us simply by shifting the images we hold of ourselves.
The next time you look in the mirror, challenge yourself to see yourself anew. Be like a young child and, for a moment, suspend your judgments. Release the very human need to classify and label. Instead, see yourself with an open heart. Ask the universe to send you a higher, truer vision of yourself, then get quiet. If you're lucky, you may just catch a glimpse of the eternal you, the you that is perfect exactly as you are.
What do you think?
How Others Perceive You
Each time we look in a mirror, we choose the lens through which we view ourselves. We choose which aspects of ourselves - of our bodies and of our beings - we focus our attention on. Sometimes we take in our whole figure, or more often, we see ourselves as a collection of individual parts, some of which we classify as "good" and others as "bad." We compare ourselves to our peers and to an ideal image we hold in our mind. We wonder if others see us the same way we see ourselves, if they make the same classifications and hold the same judgments.
A young child looks at the world through fresh eyes, seeing, taking it all in, but not judging. As we grow and learn about our world, we develop our own associations. We absorb the notions of beauty held by the culture in which we are raised and we internalize the remarks of parents, friends, and even strangers. All of these elements color our view of ourselves.
Others view us through the filter of their own experiences. They bring their own associations to bear on what they see, but they also pick up the images each of us projects outward. Those little mental snapshots we take when we look at ourselves in the mirror become part of our energy field and part of our self-definition. Interestingly, we can change others' view of us simply by shifting the images we hold of ourselves.
The next time you look in the mirror, challenge yourself to see yourself anew. Be like a young child and, for a moment, suspend your judgments. Release the very human need to classify and label. Instead, see yourself with an open heart. Ask the universe to send you a higher, truer vision of yourself, then get quiet. If you're lucky, you may just catch a glimpse of the eternal you, the you that is perfect exactly as you are.
What do you think?
Liberate Yourself from the Opinions and Judgments of Others
----------------------------------------------------
– By Mark Victor Hansen
You can't make everyone happy. I'm sure you've heard this most of your life. It seems like a surface statement - it goes in one ear and out the other - but it runs very deep. You will nevër be able to please everyone. No matter what you do, what decisions you make, what kind of car you drive or where you live - someone is going to be disappointed with you. Putting the opinions and judgments of others before your own will only result in your failure. Learn to trust and believe in yourself for phenomenal success.
Are you constantly trying to maintain the peace in your office or home by making sure everyone is happy? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells everywhere you go, hoping no one will "start something"? Are you afraid of ruffling feathers when you're out with your friends, so you agree with whatever they say? If you said yes to any of these questïons then you my friend are a people pleaser, or on the fast track to becoming one.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting everyone to be happy. Heck no! I want everyone to be happy 24 hours a day. But I'm not willing to compromise who I am to make that happen.
Sometimes you have to ruffle a few feathers - and that's okay. You can't be a "lesser" you just to make someone else happy. That's not the way it works. Express yourself. Go ahead. But do it with love and a gentle voice. You're not challenging anyone. You're just being your authentic self.
When you stop saying "yes" to everyone and start expressing how you really feel, be prepared. The people who have only known the "suppressed" you are going to give you funny looks, and you'll probably hear "what's gotten into you" quite a bit. A few so-called friends may not ever speak to you again. But isn't it better to know who your true friends are?
There is no such thing as a superiority complex. It's only an inferiority complex hiding as superiority.
Action Step
Do you have people in your life that you are constantly trying to please? Are these people who you look to for approval? Do they always have opinions about your life and what you're doing wrong?
Normally, we all have at least one of these people in our lives. But why do people act negatively toward us when we try to better ourselves? It's not usually out of spite. Most of the time these people are either insecure about themselves and their lives, or afraid that once we begin living our dreams they'll be left behind.
So, how do you keep your mind and your focus on your goals when these people are around? Well, the first step would be decide who you really want in your life - people who are going to support you or people who are going to bring you down. You are going to change your life and you don't need any negative distractions. If those around you can't listen and support you in your efforts, then they have no place in your life. Period.
If for some reason you cannot remove these people from your life, then you'll have to decide not to discuss your life with them. If they ask you questïons about what's going on in your life tell them you'd rather not discuss it with them. Eventually they will stop asking and go away. If they offer advice anyway, simply thank them for the advice and ignore them. Try this a few times and see what happens. Negativity only survives where it is allowed to feed - starve it and it will move on.
About the Author:
Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, has for more than 25 years, uniquely focused on the vital elements of human behavior that most affect our personal and professional lives and has influenced society's top leaders and the general public on a global scale. To learn more about Mark and to receive 20% off Mark's best-selling audio programs - Sell Yourself Rich, How To Think Bïgger, The Aladdin Factor and How to Build Your Speaking and Writing Empire - visit http://www.YourSuccessStore.com or call 877-929-0439.
– By Mark Victor Hansen
You can't make everyone happy. I'm sure you've heard this most of your life. It seems like a surface statement - it goes in one ear and out the other - but it runs very deep. You will nevër be able to please everyone. No matter what you do, what decisions you make, what kind of car you drive or where you live - someone is going to be disappointed with you. Putting the opinions and judgments of others before your own will only result in your failure. Learn to trust and believe in yourself for phenomenal success.
Are you constantly trying to maintain the peace in your office or home by making sure everyone is happy? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells everywhere you go, hoping no one will "start something"? Are you afraid of ruffling feathers when you're out with your friends, so you agree with whatever they say? If you said yes to any of these questïons then you my friend are a people pleaser, or on the fast track to becoming one.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting everyone to be happy. Heck no! I want everyone to be happy 24 hours a day. But I'm not willing to compromise who I am to make that happen.
Sometimes you have to ruffle a few feathers - and that's okay. You can't be a "lesser" you just to make someone else happy. That's not the way it works. Express yourself. Go ahead. But do it with love and a gentle voice. You're not challenging anyone. You're just being your authentic self.
When you stop saying "yes" to everyone and start expressing how you really feel, be prepared. The people who have only known the "suppressed" you are going to give you funny looks, and you'll probably hear "what's gotten into you" quite a bit. A few so-called friends may not ever speak to you again. But isn't it better to know who your true friends are?
There is no such thing as a superiority complex. It's only an inferiority complex hiding as superiority.
Action Step
Do you have people in your life that you are constantly trying to please? Are these people who you look to for approval? Do they always have opinions about your life and what you're doing wrong?
Normally, we all have at least one of these people in our lives. But why do people act negatively toward us when we try to better ourselves? It's not usually out of spite. Most of the time these people are either insecure about themselves and their lives, or afraid that once we begin living our dreams they'll be left behind.
So, how do you keep your mind and your focus on your goals when these people are around? Well, the first step would be decide who you really want in your life - people who are going to support you or people who are going to bring you down. You are going to change your life and you don't need any negative distractions. If those around you can't listen and support you in your efforts, then they have no place in your life. Period.
If for some reason you cannot remove these people from your life, then you'll have to decide not to discuss your life with them. If they ask you questïons about what's going on in your life tell them you'd rather not discuss it with them. Eventually they will stop asking and go away. If they offer advice anyway, simply thank them for the advice and ignore them. Try this a few times and see what happens. Negativity only survives where it is allowed to feed - starve it and it will move on.
About the Author:
Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, has for more than 25 years, uniquely focused on the vital elements of human behavior that most affect our personal and professional lives and has influenced society's top leaders and the general public on a global scale. To learn more about Mark and to receive 20% off Mark's best-selling audio programs - Sell Yourself Rich, How To Think Bïgger, The Aladdin Factor and How to Build Your Speaking and Writing Empire - visit http://www.YourSuccessStore.com or call 877-929-0439.
A MOUNTAIN IS CLIMBED ONE STEP AT A TIME
--------------------------------------------------
To attain success or to reach your goal, don't worry about having all the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of your goal and move toward it.
Everyone who got where they are had to begin where they were. Your opportunity for success is right in front of you. Don't procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break your problems into parts and handle one part at a time.
Develop a tendency toward action. You can make something happen today. Break your big plan for success into small steps and take the first step right away.
Success starts with beginning.
©2005 by Max Steingart
To attain success or to reach your goal, don't worry about having all the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of your goal and move toward it.
Everyone who got where they are had to begin where they were. Your opportunity for success is right in front of you. Don't procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break your problems into parts and handle one part at a time.
Develop a tendency toward action. You can make something happen today. Break your big plan for success into small steps and take the first step right away.
Success starts with beginning.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, September 12, 2005
Ascending Upwards
--------------------------------------------------
Life's Stepping Stones
All of nature is in a continual state of growth and evolution. We are no different. Each stage in our personal evolution paves the way for the next. Each stage prepares us for the next challenge, the next opportunity, the next expression of our being. Whether or not you are enjoying your current situation, know that you are just passing through on your way to the next level - the next stepping stone - on the journey of your life.
Stepping stones are found in all areas of endeavor - our careers, our relationships, our emotional and spiritual development. It's often difficult to see our direction in the midst of the journey, but if we could look back on our lives and watch them unfold from a higher vantage point, the direction of our growth and the connection between one experience and the next would be clear.
Perhaps you had a relationship or series of relationships in your twenties that gave you the wisdom to recognize the right person when he or she came along a decade later. Perhaps you acquired a skill at a casual job or through a hobby that later allowed you pursue a meaningful career. Perhaps a difficult event such as a serious illness or the death of a loved one propelled you to search for deeper meaning and understanding. These are examples of life's stepping stones.
As we follow our path, we often revisit the same issues, but from a higher, wiser place each time. We can track growth by identifying situations we've faced more than once and noting that each time we handled them a bit better. Whether or not you can see how your present situation is serving you or where it may lead, know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Trust that your soul knows where you're headed even if you don't. And trust that your stepping stones are leading you exactly where you need to go.
What do you think?
Life's Stepping Stones
All of nature is in a continual state of growth and evolution. We are no different. Each stage in our personal evolution paves the way for the next. Each stage prepares us for the next challenge, the next opportunity, the next expression of our being. Whether or not you are enjoying your current situation, know that you are just passing through on your way to the next level - the next stepping stone - on the journey of your life.
Stepping stones are found in all areas of endeavor - our careers, our relationships, our emotional and spiritual development. It's often difficult to see our direction in the midst of the journey, but if we could look back on our lives and watch them unfold from a higher vantage point, the direction of our growth and the connection between one experience and the next would be clear.
Perhaps you had a relationship or series of relationships in your twenties that gave you the wisdom to recognize the right person when he or she came along a decade later. Perhaps you acquired a skill at a casual job or through a hobby that later allowed you pursue a meaningful career. Perhaps a difficult event such as a serious illness or the death of a loved one propelled you to search for deeper meaning and understanding. These are examples of life's stepping stones.
As we follow our path, we often revisit the same issues, but from a higher, wiser place each time. We can track growth by identifying situations we've faced more than once and noting that each time we handled them a bit better. Whether or not you can see how your present situation is serving you or where it may lead, know that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Trust that your soul knows where you're headed even if you don't. And trust that your stepping stones are leading you exactly where you need to go.
What do you think?
These Things I Wish For You
--------------------------------------------------
- By Paul Harvey
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
- Paul Harvey
- By Paul Harvey
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.
I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.
I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.
I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.
And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room,but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.
When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.
I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.
If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.
I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.
When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy\girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.
May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.
Written with a pen. Sealed with a kiss. I'm here for you. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
- Paul Harvey
ACCEPT CHANGE WITH A SMILE
------------------------------------------------
Sooner or later you'll experience a crisis in your life, and how you meet it will determine your future happiness and success. Since the beginning of time, everyone has been called upon to meet such a crisis.
A closer look will show you that most 'crisis situations' are opportunities to either advance or stay where you are. In fact, most changes in your life will take place out of either 'inspiration' or 'desperation.'
Whatever comes your way, give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Your personal growth is the process of responding positively to change.
A precious stone cannot be polished without friction, nor humanity perfected without trials.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Sooner or later you'll experience a crisis in your life, and how you meet it will determine your future happiness and success. Since the beginning of time, everyone has been called upon to meet such a crisis.
A closer look will show you that most 'crisis situations' are opportunities to either advance or stay where you are. In fact, most changes in your life will take place out of either 'inspiration' or 'desperation.'
Whatever comes your way, give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Your personal growth is the process of responding positively to change.
A precious stone cannot be polished without friction, nor humanity perfected without trials.
©2005 by Max Steingart
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