Monday, August 15, 2005

Focusing On The Best You

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Comparing Yourself To Others

Each of us has been blessed with unique qualities. No one else has lived through precisely the same circumstances, possesses exactly the same qualities, or thinks just the same thoughts. We love, appreciate, and hold dear vastly different things. Because of this, it is nearly impossible to justly compare oneself to others and yet so many people stake their happiness on how they fare when measured against a neighbor, a coworker, a sibling, or Hollywood star. It is easy to think that if you had her eyes, his house, her job, or his money, that you'd be truly happy. Your value as a person has little to do with what you look like or what you possess and comparing yourself to someone else denies your own wonderful gifts and talents. Everyone has worth, but the source of that worth is individual. Learning to stop comparing yourself to others begins with accepting your worth, because your own acceptance is the most important.

Regularly assessing your worth in terms of other people's gifts, be they talent, money, looks, or material wealth, can lead to dissatisfaction, even when you're on top of your game. It's important to remember that you are you and will always be you, not someone else. Your individuality is something to take pride in. When you get the urge to compare yourself to someone else, meditate on the fact that you are lovable, capable, and special the way you are. Instead of focusing on traits you don't possess, and others do, or vice versa, concentrate on what you yourself have. You may be a great painter, very funny, or physically fit. Or you may be exceptionally organized, a capable parent, or profoundly patient. Usually, when we compare ourselves to others, we come out feeling devalued. In noting the positive differences both in yourself and the other party, you appreciate and foster distinctiveness.

The gifts which you have been given can be used for the benefit of everyone you come into contact with. Realizing and embracing such a concept enables you to focus on bringing out the best in yourself, so that you can celebrate your own achievements as well as those of others.

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