----------------------------------------------------
Panic Attacks
The symptoms of panic attacks can vary from person to person and chances are you know somebody that has them, or maybe that somebody is you. Symptoms can be a feeling of impending doom or terror, loss of control, heart attack-like symptoms, and some peole hyperventilate or feel they're choking or are going to pass out.. Many of these symptoms are those of the instinctual "fight or flight" response that arises in when the mind perceives a dangerous situation. But during a panic attack, there is often no danger at all. Panic attacks may come unexpectedly or during predictable situations such as driving, being in crowds or riding in an elevator. Many people hide the fact that they suffer from panic attacks, but it is important to remember that they are common, survivable and treatable.
Though panic attacks can be terrifying, they are not deadly and can be controlled with practice. Any strong or suppressed emotion can trigger a panic attack, so one way to combat them is to deal with fears and feelings as they arise, rather than holding them in. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help eliminate the source of panic attacks by changing the way the brain responds through various calming techniques. When a panic attack comes, accept that it is happening but will pass, and ease yourself through it while remaining as relaxed as possible. If necessary, try to focus on the fact that nothing bad is going to happen to you and that you are not crazy or about to die.
If you suffer from panic attacks, these are some tools that can help you. As an example, this is a situation involving driving:
1. Before you get into your car, take time to write about what you are scared of, it is important to reach to root of what is causing your attacks.
2. If you have a cell phone, prepare it with a headset and dial a friend and tell them they don't need to speak to you but you just want them on the line while you are driving, just to know they are there.
3. If you start to panic, take a moment to realize what is happening - you aren't going to die. Breathe deep and take a drink of water. Ground yourself by seeing yourself connected to Mother Earth by a cord coming down through your tailbone into the earth. Have your friend speak to you in a calm manner. Keep an object with you that is grounding such as a rock, crystal, or something else from nature that you can hold or keep in your lap.
4. When you get to your destination, reward yourself. You worked very hard and deserve recognition for stepping into your fear.
It can be helpful to view panic attacks as a cue that your body or mind is trying to tell you something about the way you experience stress or negative emotions. Panic attacks can be traumatizing, but they can also be shortened or eliminated over time. The key is controlling your fear rather than letting it control you.
What do you think?
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
The Science of Success Achievement
----------------------------------------------------
– By Rick Gettle
In his all time best -elling book, “Think And Grow Rich,” Napoleon Hill mentions in his first chapter that throughout the book he will be referring many times to The Carnegie Secrët. He said he would not tell you what that secrët is, but when you are ready, it will jump off the page and into your brain. He said, “When the Student is ready – the master will appear. The doors will open. The lights will turn green. The ideas will come. The monëy will come. The people will be there to help you.”
Since 1970 we have been teaching the principles of success that Andrew Carnegie commissioned Napoleon Hill to study and share with the world. Napoleon Hill spent his entire lifetïme researching the most successful people of all times from around the world.
Many, many times in our classes, workshops, talks, rallies and in our Master Mind Alliance Success Club meetings we have asked this question to those in our audience who had read the book “Think and Grow Rich”:
What is The Carnegie Secrët that Napoleon Hill referred to in his book?
We got all kinds of guesses and some answers that were somewhat close. HËRE IS THE CARNEGIE SECRËT.
1. Have a Definite Major Purpose.
What is the most important thing you would like to accomplish in your lifetïme? Try to define it in one paragraph, even if you have to keep rewriting it a hundred times until it gets as clear as possible. It has to be the most important thing in your life. Mahatma Gandhi’s definite major purpose was to wïn independence for India from their British rulers. He succeeded. Dr. Martin Luther King’s was equality and the end of oppression for black people. Doctor Jonas Salk’s was to find the cure and end for polio. Thomas Edison’s was the incandescent light bulb. What is yours?
If you don’t currently have what you feel is a definite major purpose, then have a definite major purpose to find your definite major purpose.
It has to be something you want so bad that you think about it all of the time.
2. Be Willing to Stake Your Entire Existence on Achieving It.
Don’t Quit. There Are Many Starters In Life, But Very Few Finishers – When The Going Gets Tough They Quit.
A person with a definite major purpose nevër gives up – no matter how long and tough the road is; instead, they become more determined. Jack London was rejected over 600 times before he finally sold his first piece of writing. Thomas Edison actually failed over 9,999 times before he perfected the incandescent light bulb, and over 5,000 times before he perfected the world’s first phonograph record player. There will be times when everything in you will tell you to quit, to stop trying, but if you hang in there, eventually, you will, you must succeed. Quitters nevër wïn and winners nevër quit.
Persistence is the power to hold on in spite of everything – to endure. It’s the ability to face defeat repeatedly without giving up, to push on even in the face of great difficulty or danger. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that is necessary to reach your goals. You wïn, because you refuse to become discouraged by your defeats. Those who conquer are those who endure.
3. Keep Intensifying Your Desire.
There are many “firemen” in life that will come along and try to put your fire of desire out. They will give you all kinds of reasons why your idea or goal won’t work and tell you to give it up, forget it, or tell you “You can’t do it.” You have to become an Arsonist. An arsonist sets fires. Every morning when you wake up you have to re-light and re-build the intensity of your fire of desire. You have to eat it, sleep it, walk it, talk it, and concentrate on it until it becomes a red-hot flaming, burning, obsessional desire that will eventually mow down all of the opposition you will face throughout each day. If you don’t, your Sizzle of desire will fizzle down to nothing. I’m not suggesting that you stop talking to or seeing your family and friends – what I’m saying is to keep focused day and night, seven days a week. This will bring into play: THE LAW OF HARMONIOUS ATTRACTION. Your burning desire becomes a magnet. You will attract that which you need: the ideas and plans, the monëy you need, and the people you need to help you. They will eventually gravitate toward your desire.
4. Have Bulldog Determination and Perseverance That Will Eventually Mow Down All Opposition.
Expect lots of problems, adversities, and discouragement along the way. Go around it – go over it – go under it – or dig a hole through it – but don’t ever turn back. Make your Definite Major Purpose the dominating thought in your mind. It is a known fact that people who have had great achievement formed the habit of making an “obsession” of their Definite Major Purpose. Andrew Carnegie said to put all of your eggs in one basket and then watch the basket. Andrew Carnegie’s definite major purpose, which he wrote down at an early age and kept in his desk, was to eärn as much monëy as he can in life and then, in the end, to set up the Carnegie Foundation to give it all away to worthy causes. Even after his death long ago, the Carnegie Foundation is still giving away millïons every year to help mankind.
I have been teaching The Science of Success Achievement Course since 1970. There were many times when I taught the course to as many as ten different groups per week. Some in major hotels, some in large corporate training rooms, in the YMCA, in hundreds of real estate and ïnsurance offices, in prisons, rehab centers, and for many säles and marketing groups of people.
In all of my classes, (There were ten separate 4-hour classes to the course,) I always told my students at the end of the first class, “For your homework this week, I want you to read the first four chapters of ‘Think and Grow Rich’ (I always had stacks of the book there to sell them). As you read each page, write a list of all of the things the author is telling you to do and the things he is telling you not to do. Then, I want you to carry that list with you every day and keep reviewing your list and keep doing the things the author told you to do. And then come back to class #2 next week and tell the class about the list you made, what actions you took as a result of reading the book, and what results you got.”
At the beginning of the class on the following week I would always start out by asking, “By a show of hands, how many of you read the first four chapters of ‘Think and Grow Rich?’” About 2% would raise their hands. The rest didn’t take the time to read it. Then I would ask the 2%, “How many of you read the first four chapters and made the list I told you to make of all of the things the author told you to do?” Usually about three hands went up. I asked each of them, “How many items do you have on your list of the things the author told you to do?” The first person said three. The second person said nine. The third person said – 90 items
I asked the person who had ninety on her list to come to the front of the classroom.
I said to the others, “You people paid good monëy to take this course because you wanted to achieve greater success. How can you expect the results you hoped for if you aren’t willing to take notes and to put in practice what you are learning?”
Then I had the lady read from her list of 90 items. And the class was surprised at how powerful and important the things on her list were.
I asked the class, “How many of you are speed readers?” All kinds of hands went up. Then I told them about an incident when I was at a party and someone asked me what I do for a living. I told him that I teach a course based around the book ‘Think and Grow Rich.’ He said, “That’s a book that we teach from at our speed reading school. ”Then I asked him, “What were the greatest lessons you learned from the book?” He tried to think and then said, “I don’t remember that book so well.” I later found out that he was a speed reading instructor. I thought to myself, “There’s a guy that can read 10,000 words a minute and remember nothing.”
“Think and Grow Rich” is so powerful that it’s the kind of book you have to read very slowly and carefully, many times until it becomes a part of your life and habits. I have been reading the book every year since 1970. Each year I pull it back off the shelf and let it fire me up for the achievement of my new goals for the year.
About the Author:
Rick Gettle
President/Founder
The Master Mind Alliance Success Club International
To Learn More About This Course - Go To:
http://www.master-mind-alliance.com
– By Rick Gettle
In his all time best -elling book, “Think And Grow Rich,” Napoleon Hill mentions in his first chapter that throughout the book he will be referring many times to The Carnegie Secrët. He said he would not tell you what that secrët is, but when you are ready, it will jump off the page and into your brain. He said, “When the Student is ready – the master will appear. The doors will open. The lights will turn green. The ideas will come. The monëy will come. The people will be there to help you.”
Since 1970 we have been teaching the principles of success that Andrew Carnegie commissioned Napoleon Hill to study and share with the world. Napoleon Hill spent his entire lifetïme researching the most successful people of all times from around the world.
Many, many times in our classes, workshops, talks, rallies and in our Master Mind Alliance Success Club meetings we have asked this question to those in our audience who had read the book “Think and Grow Rich”:
What is The Carnegie Secrët that Napoleon Hill referred to in his book?
We got all kinds of guesses and some answers that were somewhat close. HËRE IS THE CARNEGIE SECRËT.
1. Have a Definite Major Purpose.
What is the most important thing you would like to accomplish in your lifetïme? Try to define it in one paragraph, even if you have to keep rewriting it a hundred times until it gets as clear as possible. It has to be the most important thing in your life. Mahatma Gandhi’s definite major purpose was to wïn independence for India from their British rulers. He succeeded. Dr. Martin Luther King’s was equality and the end of oppression for black people. Doctor Jonas Salk’s was to find the cure and end for polio. Thomas Edison’s was the incandescent light bulb. What is yours?
If you don’t currently have what you feel is a definite major purpose, then have a definite major purpose to find your definite major purpose.
It has to be something you want so bad that you think about it all of the time.
2. Be Willing to Stake Your Entire Existence on Achieving It.
Don’t Quit. There Are Many Starters In Life, But Very Few Finishers – When The Going Gets Tough They Quit.
A person with a definite major purpose nevër gives up – no matter how long and tough the road is; instead, they become more determined. Jack London was rejected over 600 times before he finally sold his first piece of writing. Thomas Edison actually failed over 9,999 times before he perfected the incandescent light bulb, and over 5,000 times before he perfected the world’s first phonograph record player. There will be times when everything in you will tell you to quit, to stop trying, but if you hang in there, eventually, you will, you must succeed. Quitters nevër wïn and winners nevër quit.
Persistence is the power to hold on in spite of everything – to endure. It’s the ability to face defeat repeatedly without giving up, to push on even in the face of great difficulty or danger. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that is necessary to reach your goals. You wïn, because you refuse to become discouraged by your defeats. Those who conquer are those who endure.
3. Keep Intensifying Your Desire.
There are many “firemen” in life that will come along and try to put your fire of desire out. They will give you all kinds of reasons why your idea or goal won’t work and tell you to give it up, forget it, or tell you “You can’t do it.” You have to become an Arsonist. An arsonist sets fires. Every morning when you wake up you have to re-light and re-build the intensity of your fire of desire. You have to eat it, sleep it, walk it, talk it, and concentrate on it until it becomes a red-hot flaming, burning, obsessional desire that will eventually mow down all of the opposition you will face throughout each day. If you don’t, your Sizzle of desire will fizzle down to nothing. I’m not suggesting that you stop talking to or seeing your family and friends – what I’m saying is to keep focused day and night, seven days a week. This will bring into play: THE LAW OF HARMONIOUS ATTRACTION. Your burning desire becomes a magnet. You will attract that which you need: the ideas and plans, the monëy you need, and the people you need to help you. They will eventually gravitate toward your desire.
4. Have Bulldog Determination and Perseverance That Will Eventually Mow Down All Opposition.
Expect lots of problems, adversities, and discouragement along the way. Go around it – go over it – go under it – or dig a hole through it – but don’t ever turn back. Make your Definite Major Purpose the dominating thought in your mind. It is a known fact that people who have had great achievement formed the habit of making an “obsession” of their Definite Major Purpose. Andrew Carnegie said to put all of your eggs in one basket and then watch the basket. Andrew Carnegie’s definite major purpose, which he wrote down at an early age and kept in his desk, was to eärn as much monëy as he can in life and then, in the end, to set up the Carnegie Foundation to give it all away to worthy causes. Even after his death long ago, the Carnegie Foundation is still giving away millïons every year to help mankind.
I have been teaching The Science of Success Achievement Course since 1970. There were many times when I taught the course to as many as ten different groups per week. Some in major hotels, some in large corporate training rooms, in the YMCA, in hundreds of real estate and ïnsurance offices, in prisons, rehab centers, and for many säles and marketing groups of people.
In all of my classes, (There were ten separate 4-hour classes to the course,) I always told my students at the end of the first class, “For your homework this week, I want you to read the first four chapters of ‘Think and Grow Rich’ (I always had stacks of the book there to sell them). As you read each page, write a list of all of the things the author is telling you to do and the things he is telling you not to do. Then, I want you to carry that list with you every day and keep reviewing your list and keep doing the things the author told you to do. And then come back to class #2 next week and tell the class about the list you made, what actions you took as a result of reading the book, and what results you got.”
At the beginning of the class on the following week I would always start out by asking, “By a show of hands, how many of you read the first four chapters of ‘Think and Grow Rich?’” About 2% would raise their hands. The rest didn’t take the time to read it. Then I would ask the 2%, “How many of you read the first four chapters and made the list I told you to make of all of the things the author told you to do?” Usually about three hands went up. I asked each of them, “How many items do you have on your list of the things the author told you to do?” The first person said three. The second person said nine. The third person said – 90 items
I asked the person who had ninety on her list to come to the front of the classroom.
I said to the others, “You people paid good monëy to take this course because you wanted to achieve greater success. How can you expect the results you hoped for if you aren’t willing to take notes and to put in practice what you are learning?”
Then I had the lady read from her list of 90 items. And the class was surprised at how powerful and important the things on her list were.
I asked the class, “How many of you are speed readers?” All kinds of hands went up. Then I told them about an incident when I was at a party and someone asked me what I do for a living. I told him that I teach a course based around the book ‘Think and Grow Rich.’ He said, “That’s a book that we teach from at our speed reading school. ”Then I asked him, “What were the greatest lessons you learned from the book?” He tried to think and then said, “I don’t remember that book so well.” I later found out that he was a speed reading instructor. I thought to myself, “There’s a guy that can read 10,000 words a minute and remember nothing.”
“Think and Grow Rich” is so powerful that it’s the kind of book you have to read very slowly and carefully, many times until it becomes a part of your life and habits. I have been reading the book every year since 1970. Each year I pull it back off the shelf and let it fire me up for the achievement of my new goals for the year.
About the Author:
Rick Gettle
President/Founder
The Master Mind Alliance Success Club International
To Learn More About This Course - Go To:
http://www.master-mind-alliance.com
EIGHTY PERCENT OF SUCCESS IS SHOWING UP
----------------------------------------------------
The only way to start to improve your life is to start. Once you're sure you're on the right road there is no need to plan your journey too far ahead. Don't burden yourself with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar your progress. You can only take one step at a time.
You don't need to know all the answers in advance. Just maintain a clear idea of the goal you want to reach and the answers will come in their own time.
If you can get up the courage to begin, you'll have the courage to succeed. It's the job you never start that takes the longest to finish. Go after what you want and you'll get it.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The only way to start to improve your life is to start. Once you're sure you're on the right road there is no need to plan your journey too far ahead. Don't burden yourself with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar your progress. You can only take one step at a time.
You don't need to know all the answers in advance. Just maintain a clear idea of the goal you want to reach and the answers will come in their own time.
If you can get up the courage to begin, you'll have the courage to succeed. It's the job you never start that takes the longest to finish. Go after what you want and you'll get it.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Peeling The Onion
--------------------------------------------------
Breaking Through Barriers
The human psyche is almost infinitely complex, made up of layers upon layers of thoughts, experiences, emotions, fears, loves, and goals. Those who seek to find the true essence of being or to move past a fear find that there are many intermediate steps along the way. When we first look inward, we look at ourselves as a whole, when in fact we are only seeing the surface. Like an onion, if we move past the surface, we will find another layer. Moving past that, we find yet another layer. These layers are barriers and everyone has them. You may work past one fear only to be confronted with a deeper, underlying fear. Or you may fully assimilate a revelation only to find other aspects of that revelation that you had not discovered. How many layers you will confront before finding a resolution is unknown. This is the journey, this is life.
But the journey to the center of the onion - what they called sunyata in Sanskrit or mu in Chinese - can be an enlightening experience in and of itself. As you break through each barrier, you gain a more profound understanding of your own mind and come to learn the unique facets that make up who you are. You will become intimately acquainted with your needs and wants, reactions, aversions, pleasures, and pains. You will discover qualities within yourself that have been buried by the years or by old hurts. This knowledge is cumulative. As you break through one barrier and confront the next, oftentimes more powerful, barrier, you will be equipped with the knowledge of self that you have gained during your searching.
During the "peeling of the onion," you may feel frustrated because it can seem like progress is slow or nonexistent. But don't let the multitude of layers bother you. Many of the qualities that make us who we are may be hidden at first. The process can continue indefinitely, for with self-discovery comes growth and thus further discovery. The more you learn, the more you will inevitably find, as you travel deeper and deeper within your soul.
What do you think?
Breaking Through Barriers
The human psyche is almost infinitely complex, made up of layers upon layers of thoughts, experiences, emotions, fears, loves, and goals. Those who seek to find the true essence of being or to move past a fear find that there are many intermediate steps along the way. When we first look inward, we look at ourselves as a whole, when in fact we are only seeing the surface. Like an onion, if we move past the surface, we will find another layer. Moving past that, we find yet another layer. These layers are barriers and everyone has them. You may work past one fear only to be confronted with a deeper, underlying fear. Or you may fully assimilate a revelation only to find other aspects of that revelation that you had not discovered. How many layers you will confront before finding a resolution is unknown. This is the journey, this is life.
But the journey to the center of the onion - what they called sunyata in Sanskrit or mu in Chinese - can be an enlightening experience in and of itself. As you break through each barrier, you gain a more profound understanding of your own mind and come to learn the unique facets that make up who you are. You will become intimately acquainted with your needs and wants, reactions, aversions, pleasures, and pains. You will discover qualities within yourself that have been buried by the years or by old hurts. This knowledge is cumulative. As you break through one barrier and confront the next, oftentimes more powerful, barrier, you will be equipped with the knowledge of self that you have gained during your searching.
During the "peeling of the onion," you may feel frustrated because it can seem like progress is slow or nonexistent. But don't let the multitude of layers bother you. Many of the qualities that make us who we are may be hidden at first. The process can continue indefinitely, for with self-discovery comes growth and thus further discovery. The more you learn, the more you will inevitably find, as you travel deeper and deeper within your soul.
What do you think?
4 Simple Ways To Get Over Your Need For Acceptance
And Get On With Your Life
----------------------------------------------------
– By Larry Bilotta
Imagine what your life would be like if you could just be yourself, without thinking twice about what other people think of you! Hëre are four quick tips that will help you get over your need for acceptance. Make these four things a part of your daily routine and you’ll find that people will judge you less and accept you more!
1. See Yourself as a Success
You’re probably familiar with that little voice inside your head that tells you you’re nevër good enough. Instead of letting that voice continuously judge what you didn’t do right; focus on an actual moment in your life that makes you feel wonderful. This could be a moment at your wedding, the birth of your first child or a great victory you achieved. Picture it as if you were living it all over again. Right before you think of this moment, say these words: “You know what this (say the bad feeling you are having right then) reminds me of? It reminds me of the time.” Then remember or in essence “live out” your great moment. End the moment with the words “That’s what this reminds me of.” This is exactly what Olympic athletes have done for years to increase their physical perförmance. They see it first in their imagination and then they reach their goals. If you do the same, those days of being held back by your need for acceptance will be over!
2. Restore Your Self Confidence
The second key to getting over your need for acceptance is self-confidence. Confidence is the result of how you see yourself in your imagination. The way your nervous system makes you feel is the direct result of what’s going on in your imagination. That’s why when someone describes a great meal, you begin to salivate even though there is no actual food in reality. To your nervous system, this ‘food’ is more real than actual food itself. Since that’s the case, just think what would happen if you imagined yourself being successful and confident? When you see confidence in your imagination, your nervous system “believes” you are confident which changes the vibes you give off. People will treat you better because they can feel your success and want to be around it. Tell yourself that you’re a success on a daily basis and you’ll not only start seeing yourself in a different light but you’ll get over your need for acceptance...for good.
3. Find A Career That Truly Fits "The Real You"
This step may seem like it has no connection to the previous steps, but it goes hand in hand with getting over your need for acceptance. Since confidence is necessary to get over your need for acceptance, an easy way to build your confidence is to do what you truly were meant to do in life.
What are you passionate about? What have others told you you’re good at? To learn exactly how to find a career that fits you, there is no better book than “What Color Is Your Parachute?” by Nelson Bolles.
Just go to: http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/parachute.html to find it. Match your talents to your career and see your confidence begin to increase every day!
4. What Makes YOU Happy?
Most people are not sure what happiness really is. Many say that monëy would make them happy. But it’s not monëy at all. People don’t want monëy! They want what monëy can BUY. They remember that buying new things makes them feel happy, but this is only one förm of happiness. True happiness comes when you can make a difference in the life of another person and realize how much it meant to them. Lending someone a helping hand not only brightens their day, but you’ll be able to reap the effects of, if only for a brief moment, true happiness.
Nöw that you know how to get over your need for acceptance by focusing on a positive memory instead of the negative voice inside your head, you’ll be able to give off the vibes that ATTRACT people to YOU. Instead of wishing and hoping for approval, you nöw know how to get over your need for acceptance by giving people what they need; a confident person who not only looks for the good in them, but also shows them how to see it too.
About the Author:
Larry Bilotta’s FRËE 7-day email course shows you how to quickly and easily eliminate your negative thoughts, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself. Just go to http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/self.html
----------------------------------------------------
– By Larry Bilotta
Imagine what your life would be like if you could just be yourself, without thinking twice about what other people think of you! Hëre are four quick tips that will help you get over your need for acceptance. Make these four things a part of your daily routine and you’ll find that people will judge you less and accept you more!
1. See Yourself as a Success
You’re probably familiar with that little voice inside your head that tells you you’re nevër good enough. Instead of letting that voice continuously judge what you didn’t do right; focus on an actual moment in your life that makes you feel wonderful. This could be a moment at your wedding, the birth of your first child or a great victory you achieved. Picture it as if you were living it all over again. Right before you think of this moment, say these words: “You know what this (say the bad feeling you are having right then) reminds me of? It reminds me of the time.” Then remember or in essence “live out” your great moment. End the moment with the words “That’s what this reminds me of.” This is exactly what Olympic athletes have done for years to increase their physical perförmance. They see it first in their imagination and then they reach their goals. If you do the same, those days of being held back by your need for acceptance will be over!
2. Restore Your Self Confidence
The second key to getting over your need for acceptance is self-confidence. Confidence is the result of how you see yourself in your imagination. The way your nervous system makes you feel is the direct result of what’s going on in your imagination. That’s why when someone describes a great meal, you begin to salivate even though there is no actual food in reality. To your nervous system, this ‘food’ is more real than actual food itself. Since that’s the case, just think what would happen if you imagined yourself being successful and confident? When you see confidence in your imagination, your nervous system “believes” you are confident which changes the vibes you give off. People will treat you better because they can feel your success and want to be around it. Tell yourself that you’re a success on a daily basis and you’ll not only start seeing yourself in a different light but you’ll get over your need for acceptance...for good.
3. Find A Career That Truly Fits "The Real You"
This step may seem like it has no connection to the previous steps, but it goes hand in hand with getting over your need for acceptance. Since confidence is necessary to get over your need for acceptance, an easy way to build your confidence is to do what you truly were meant to do in life.
What are you passionate about? What have others told you you’re good at? To learn exactly how to find a career that fits you, there is no better book than “What Color Is Your Parachute?” by Nelson Bolles.
Just go to: http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/parachute.html to find it. Match your talents to your career and see your confidence begin to increase every day!
4. What Makes YOU Happy?
Most people are not sure what happiness really is. Many say that monëy would make them happy. But it’s not monëy at all. People don’t want monëy! They want what monëy can BUY. They remember that buying new things makes them feel happy, but this is only one förm of happiness. True happiness comes when you can make a difference in the life of another person and realize how much it meant to them. Lending someone a helping hand not only brightens their day, but you’ll be able to reap the effects of, if only for a brief moment, true happiness.
Nöw that you know how to get over your need for acceptance by focusing on a positive memory instead of the negative voice inside your head, you’ll be able to give off the vibes that ATTRACT people to YOU. Instead of wishing and hoping for approval, you nöw know how to get over your need for acceptance by giving people what they need; a confident person who not only looks for the good in them, but also shows them how to see it too.
About the Author:
Larry Bilotta’s FRËE 7-day email course shows you how to quickly and easily eliminate your negative thoughts, STOP dwelling on your problems and START feeling better about yourself. Just go to http://www.selfesteemsecrets4women.com/self.html
YOU ARE YOUR ENVIRONMENT
---------------------------------------------------
The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are. Always be mindful that you are a product of your environment. So choose an environment that will best develop you toward your objective.
Analyze your life in terms of your environment. Are the things around you helping you toward your success, or are they holding you back?
You're not a captive of your environment. If you don't like where you are, change your environment, you're not a tree. Don't say, "You would, if you could," say, "You will, because you can."
When you become a part of anything, it becomes a part of you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are. Always be mindful that you are a product of your environment. So choose an environment that will best develop you toward your objective.
Analyze your life in terms of your environment. Are the things around you helping you toward your success, or are they holding you back?
You're not a captive of your environment. If you don't like where you are, change your environment, you're not a tree. Don't say, "You would, if you could," say, "You will, because you can."
When you become a part of anything, it becomes a part of you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, August 29, 2005
Inner Access
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Transcendental Meditation
The complexity and variety of meditative techniques can be awe inspiring. There are a great many to choose from and various aspects of each to be learned. But at the heart of them lies transcendental meditation (TM). A practice rooted in ancient times but outlined by Maharishi Mahesh in 1957, TM is as beneficial for the novice as it is for the experienced practitioner. It is simple, neither a way of life nor a spiritual belief, and can be practiced by anyone of any age or lifestyle. The strength of TM's effectiveness is in one's personal mantra, which, according to Mahesh, can be any word, name, or syllable that has meaning for you. Practicing TM twice daily, in the morning and evening, has been shown to increase concentration, memory, learning ability, and creativity, as well as to reduce stress, anxiety, and incidents of illness. It is a very personal meditation, and so your results will be unique.
Beginning TM is as straightforward as sitting comfortably with your eyes closed. Do not try to relax or control your breathing. Wait thirty seconds and then begin thinking your mantra. You may want to experiment with different mantras, but keep in mind that the goal is not to focus on the mantra or even to think it clearly. The mantra needn't have a rhythm. If thoughts interrupt your mantra, don't push them away, but instead let them pass. After fifteen to twenty minutes, stop thinking the mantra and sit quietly for another two minutes before opening your eyes. During the meditation, you will find that your mind will settle down and you will enter a period of deeply relaxed alertness in which your consciousness transcends its normal boundaries. Your creativity will thrive while accumulated mental fatigue is washed away. Your body will also have settled into a state of deep restfulness.
Some believe that TM can help one attain a higher consciousness, while others see the meditation as a route to self-knowledge and physical and mental health. In TM, however, there are no right or wrong goals. The practice simply provides you with a way to access all facets of your existence - mental, physical, spiritual, individual, and universal - in a natural and nurturing way.
What do you think?
Transcendental Meditation
The complexity and variety of meditative techniques can be awe inspiring. There are a great many to choose from and various aspects of each to be learned. But at the heart of them lies transcendental meditation (TM). A practice rooted in ancient times but outlined by Maharishi Mahesh in 1957, TM is as beneficial for the novice as it is for the experienced practitioner. It is simple, neither a way of life nor a spiritual belief, and can be practiced by anyone of any age or lifestyle. The strength of TM's effectiveness is in one's personal mantra, which, according to Mahesh, can be any word, name, or syllable that has meaning for you. Practicing TM twice daily, in the morning and evening, has been shown to increase concentration, memory, learning ability, and creativity, as well as to reduce stress, anxiety, and incidents of illness. It is a very personal meditation, and so your results will be unique.
Beginning TM is as straightforward as sitting comfortably with your eyes closed. Do not try to relax or control your breathing. Wait thirty seconds and then begin thinking your mantra. You may want to experiment with different mantras, but keep in mind that the goal is not to focus on the mantra or even to think it clearly. The mantra needn't have a rhythm. If thoughts interrupt your mantra, don't push them away, but instead let them pass. After fifteen to twenty minutes, stop thinking the mantra and sit quietly for another two minutes before opening your eyes. During the meditation, you will find that your mind will settle down and you will enter a period of deeply relaxed alertness in which your consciousness transcends its normal boundaries. Your creativity will thrive while accumulated mental fatigue is washed away. Your body will also have settled into a state of deep restfulness.
Some believe that TM can help one attain a higher consciousness, while others see the meditation as a route to self-knowledge and physical and mental health. In TM, however, there are no right or wrong goals. The practice simply provides you with a way to access all facets of your existence - mental, physical, spiritual, individual, and universal - in a natural and nurturing way.
What do you think?
A Gift of Love
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- Author Unknown
"Can I see my baby?" the happy new mother asked. When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped.
The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears. Time proved that the baby's hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred. When he rushed home from school one day and flung
himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks. He blurted out the tragedy. "A boy, a big boy...called me a freak." He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. "But you might mingle with other young people," his
mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart.
The boy's father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done? "I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured" the doctor decided. Whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice
for a young man. Two years went by. Then, "You are going to the hospital, son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But it's a secret" said the father.
The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. Later he married and entered the diplomatic service. "But I must know!" He urged his
father. "Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him."
"I do not believe you could," said the father, "but the agreement was that you are not to know...not yet." The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come . . . one of the darkest days that ever pass through a son. He stood with
his father over his mother's casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal . . . that the mother had no outer ears.
"Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut," he whispered gently, "and nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they"?
Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known.
- Unknown Author
- Author Unknown
"Can I see my baby?" the happy new mother asked. When the bundle was nestled in her arms and she moved the fold of cloth to look upon his tiny face, she gasped.
The doctor turned quickly and looked out the tall hospital window. The baby had been born without ears. Time proved that the baby's hearing was perfect. It was only his appearance that was marred. When he rushed home from school one day and flung
himself into his mother's arms, she sighed, knowing that his life was to be a succession of heartbreaks. He blurted out the tragedy. "A boy, a big boy...called me a freak." He grew up, handsome for his misfortune. A favorite with his fellow students, he might have been class president, but for that. He developed a gift, a talent for literature and music. "But you might mingle with other young people," his
mother reproved him, but felt a kindness in her heart.
The boy's father had a session with the family physician. Could nothing be done? "I believe I could graft on a pair of outer ears, if they could be procured" the doctor decided. Whereupon the search began for a person who would make such a sacrifice
for a young man. Two years went by. Then, "You are going to the hospital, son. Mother and I have someone who will donate the ears you need. But it's a secret" said the father.
The operation was a brilliant success, and a new person emerged. His talents blossomed into genius, and school and college became a series of triumphs. Later he married and entered the diplomatic service. "But I must know!" He urged his
father. "Who gave so much for me? I could never do enough for him."
"I do not believe you could," said the father, "but the agreement was that you are not to know...not yet." The years kept their profound secret, but the day did come . . . one of the darkest days that ever pass through a son. He stood with
his father over his mother's casket. Slowly, tenderly, the father stretched forth a hand and raised the thick, reddish-brown hair to reveal . . . that the mother had no outer ears.
"Mother said she was glad she never let her hair be cut," he whispered gently, "and nobody ever thought mother less beautiful, did they"?
Real beauty lies not in the physical appearance, but in the heart. Real treasure lies not in what that can be seen, but what that cannot be seen. Real love lies not in what is done and known, but in what that is done but not known.
- Unknown Author
CONCENTRATION OPENS THE DOOR TO SUCCESS
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The first law of success is concentration. Bend all your energies to one point, and go directly to that point, looking neither to the right nor the left.
By focusing your efforts to a single point, you'll always achieve the greatest results. If you concentrate your efforts on a few major goals, your efficiency will soar, your projects will be completed, and you'll be going somewhere.
Focus totally on the business at hand and command yourself to do exactly what you want to do.
If you focus the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve, you'll attain success.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The first law of success is concentration. Bend all your energies to one point, and go directly to that point, looking neither to the right nor the left.
By focusing your efforts to a single point, you'll always achieve the greatest results. If you concentrate your efforts on a few major goals, your efficiency will soar, your projects will be completed, and you'll be going somewhere.
Focus totally on the business at hand and command yourself to do exactly what you want to do.
If you focus the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve, you'll attain success.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, August 26, 2005
Waiting In The Wings
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Spirit Guides
Sometimes we have a sense that someone is near, offering comfort or support just when we need it, even though there is no one visibly around. We may be having difficulty making an important decision when we are given a "sign." Something catches our attention, a message in graffiti or a song on the radio, and we feel guided in making the right choice.
Our spirit guides are waiting in the wings to offer their assistance whenever we need it. Different from angels who watch over and protect us, spirit guides are just as their names imply, beings that guide us on our spiritual path. Often, they have lived earthly lives and are now able to share their wisdom and spiritual knowledge from another realm.
Spirit guides come in many forms. The "imaginary" friends that children so often have, may indeed be spirit guides. They are the ever constant playmate, always there to keep a child company, especially when they are lonely, scared, or mad at the world. We have only to open ourselves to their presence as children do and they will offer their support.
We can invite our spirit guides into our lives through meditation or simply by asking and being more spiritually aware. Yet, guides rarely inject themselves into our lives without being asked, though they will try to get our attention, at times, especially when we are in need. Sometimes if the guide is someone we were close to, they'll surround us with the scent of their favorite perfume, or a spice they often cooked with. Sounds are also often used to get our attention, chimes or a familiar tune will run through our mind. When we listen, our guides have much to tell us. They are here to help us learn, guiding us so that we too can grow in spirit as they have. For we too, may one day be spirit guides ourselves.
What do you think?
Spirit Guides
Sometimes we have a sense that someone is near, offering comfort or support just when we need it, even though there is no one visibly around. We may be having difficulty making an important decision when we are given a "sign." Something catches our attention, a message in graffiti or a song on the radio, and we feel guided in making the right choice.
Our spirit guides are waiting in the wings to offer their assistance whenever we need it. Different from angels who watch over and protect us, spirit guides are just as their names imply, beings that guide us on our spiritual path. Often, they have lived earthly lives and are now able to share their wisdom and spiritual knowledge from another realm.
Spirit guides come in many forms. The "imaginary" friends that children so often have, may indeed be spirit guides. They are the ever constant playmate, always there to keep a child company, especially when they are lonely, scared, or mad at the world. We have only to open ourselves to their presence as children do and they will offer their support.
We can invite our spirit guides into our lives through meditation or simply by asking and being more spiritually aware. Yet, guides rarely inject themselves into our lives without being asked, though they will try to get our attention, at times, especially when we are in need. Sometimes if the guide is someone we were close to, they'll surround us with the scent of their favorite perfume, or a spice they often cooked with. Sounds are also often used to get our attention, chimes or a familiar tune will run through our mind. When we listen, our guides have much to tell us. They are here to help us learn, guiding us so that we too can grow in spirit as they have. For we too, may one day be spirit guides ourselves.
What do you think?
The Golden Chain Of Kindness
---------------------------------------------------
- By Steve Goodier
Writer and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together." But I was not thinking about the golden chain of kindness one day when a dilapidated automobile, possibly held together with glue and wire, parked in front of my house. During those years, we lived in a small town just across the street from the church I served, and travelers in need constantly found their way to our home.
I was growing weary of helping the numerous people who stopped by almost daily. I was frequently awakened in the middle of an otherwise good night's sleep, to get out in the cold and help someone passing through. Once our property was vandalized; once I drove through a blizzard in order to get two people to safety; many times I felt taken for granted by penniless motorists or hitchhikers who did not thank me for help they received and complained that I didn't do more. I hadn't felt a part of a "golden chain of kindness" for awhile and, though I still offered assistance where I could, sometimes I inwardly wished they would just go away.
But on this day, a young man with a week-old beard climbed from the broken-down automobile. He had no money and no food. He asked if I could give him some work and I offered him gasoline and a meal. I told him that if he wanted to work, we'd be pleased if he'd cut the grass, but work wasn't necessary.
Though sweaty and hungry, he worked hard. Because of the afternoon heat, I expected him to give up before the job was completed. But he persisted and, after a long while, he sat wearily down in the shade. I thanked him for his work and gave him the money he needed. Then I offered him a little extra money for a task particularly well done, but he refused. "No sank you," he said in heavily accented speech. I insisted that he take the money but he stood up and once again said, "No sank you. I want to work. Joo keep the money." I tried again and for a third time he protested, shaking his head as he walked away.
I never saw him again. I'm sure I never will. And interestingly, he probably thinks I helped him out that day. But that is not the way it was. I didn't help him he helped me. He helped me to believe in people again. He helped me to once again WANT to do something for those who are in need. I wish I could thank him for restoring some of my faith in the basic goodness of others and for giving me back a little of the optimism I had lost somewhere along the way. Because of him I once again felt part of a golden chain of kindness that binds us to one another.
I may have fed his body that day. But he fed my soul.
About the Author:
Steve Goodier can be reached at "Life Support" LifeSupport@yahoogroups.com
- By Steve Goodier
Writer and philosopher Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together." But I was not thinking about the golden chain of kindness one day when a dilapidated automobile, possibly held together with glue and wire, parked in front of my house. During those years, we lived in a small town just across the street from the church I served, and travelers in need constantly found their way to our home.
I was growing weary of helping the numerous people who stopped by almost daily. I was frequently awakened in the middle of an otherwise good night's sleep, to get out in the cold and help someone passing through. Once our property was vandalized; once I drove through a blizzard in order to get two people to safety; many times I felt taken for granted by penniless motorists or hitchhikers who did not thank me for help they received and complained that I didn't do more. I hadn't felt a part of a "golden chain of kindness" for awhile and, though I still offered assistance where I could, sometimes I inwardly wished they would just go away.
But on this day, a young man with a week-old beard climbed from the broken-down automobile. He had no money and no food. He asked if I could give him some work and I offered him gasoline and a meal. I told him that if he wanted to work, we'd be pleased if he'd cut the grass, but work wasn't necessary.
Though sweaty and hungry, he worked hard. Because of the afternoon heat, I expected him to give up before the job was completed. But he persisted and, after a long while, he sat wearily down in the shade. I thanked him for his work and gave him the money he needed. Then I offered him a little extra money for a task particularly well done, but he refused. "No sank you," he said in heavily accented speech. I insisted that he take the money but he stood up and once again said, "No sank you. I want to work. Joo keep the money." I tried again and for a third time he protested, shaking his head as he walked away.
I never saw him again. I'm sure I never will. And interestingly, he probably thinks I helped him out that day. But that is not the way it was. I didn't help him he helped me. He helped me to believe in people again. He helped me to once again WANT to do something for those who are in need. I wish I could thank him for restoring some of my faith in the basic goodness of others and for giving me back a little of the optimism I had lost somewhere along the way. Because of him I once again felt part of a golden chain of kindness that binds us to one another.
I may have fed his body that day. But he fed my soul.
About the Author:
Steve Goodier can be reached at "Life Support" LifeSupport@yahoogroups.com
EXPECT TO SUCCEED AND YOU'LL SUCCEED
------------------------------------------------
The dreams you choose to believe in come to be. When you feel in your innermost being that you will achieve what you set out to do, you open the way for miracles.
Choose to believe something good can happen. Expecting it to happen energizes your goal and actually gives it momentum. What you expect to happen, happens.
Life responds to your outlook.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The dreams you choose to believe in come to be. When you feel in your innermost being that you will achieve what you set out to do, you open the way for miracles.
Choose to believe something good can happen. Expecting it to happen energizes your goal and actually gives it momentum. What you expect to happen, happens.
Life responds to your outlook.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, August 25, 2005
A Fresh Perspective
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Giving Yourself Advice
When considering a difficulty faced by a friend, the solution frequently comes to us easily. In looking at our own troubles, however, our vision can become clouded because we see our problems through the veil of our emotions, opinions, worries, and personal experiences. Because of this, it is no simple matter to give yourself advice. It is hard to step out of your mindset to view your conundrum with a fresh eye. One technique that can aid you in examining your problems from multiple, objective angles, involves imagining yourself helping a friend work through the same difficulty. In doing so, you have the opportunity to formulate a thoughtful, and a caring course of action that is often easier to follow than advice from another source.
Begin by looking at your circumstance by stepping outside of yourself, and then shift your perspective to look at it as you would if a treasured friend was in the same situation. If you like, you can even go so far as to have an imaginary conversation with the "friend", speaking gently, reassuringly, and uncritically. Think about what reaction their problem evokes in you. If you are you driven to tell them that things will look up or that good will come from it eventually, do so. Offer advice rooted both in common sense and in compassion. After you have looked at the problem from a remote perspective, let yourself once again view it from your personal perspective. Offer the same reassurances to yourself that you offered to your hypothetical friend. Your encouraging words and suggestions will likely feel like they came from a trusted advisor and an impartial observer.
All in all, your advice to yourself, even if difficult, will be easier to take if conceived of objectively. Giving yourself guidance in this manner is a way to contemplate a problem without strong emotional involvement, to come up with confident solutions, and to soothe your troubled soul.
What do you think?
Giving Yourself Advice
When considering a difficulty faced by a friend, the solution frequently comes to us easily. In looking at our own troubles, however, our vision can become clouded because we see our problems through the veil of our emotions, opinions, worries, and personal experiences. Because of this, it is no simple matter to give yourself advice. It is hard to step out of your mindset to view your conundrum with a fresh eye. One technique that can aid you in examining your problems from multiple, objective angles, involves imagining yourself helping a friend work through the same difficulty. In doing so, you have the opportunity to formulate a thoughtful, and a caring course of action that is often easier to follow than advice from another source.
Begin by looking at your circumstance by stepping outside of yourself, and then shift your perspective to look at it as you would if a treasured friend was in the same situation. If you like, you can even go so far as to have an imaginary conversation with the "friend", speaking gently, reassuringly, and uncritically. Think about what reaction their problem evokes in you. If you are you driven to tell them that things will look up or that good will come from it eventually, do so. Offer advice rooted both in common sense and in compassion. After you have looked at the problem from a remote perspective, let yourself once again view it from your personal perspective. Offer the same reassurances to yourself that you offered to your hypothetical friend. Your encouraging words and suggestions will likely feel like they came from a trusted advisor and an impartial observer.
All in all, your advice to yourself, even if difficult, will be easier to take if conceived of objectively. Giving yourself guidance in this manner is a way to contemplate a problem without strong emotional involvement, to come up with confident solutions, and to soothe your troubled soul.
What do you think?
Faith Can Move Mountains
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- Author Unknown
A small congregation in the foothills of the Great Smokies built a new sanctuary on a piece of land willed to them by a church member. Ten days before the new church was to open, the local building inspector informed the pastor that the parking lot was inadequate for the size of the building. Until the church doubled the size of the parking lot, they would not be able to use the new sanctuary.
Unfortunately, the church with its undersized lot had used every inch of their land except for the mountain against which it had been built. In order to build more parking spaces, they would have to move the mountain out of the back yard. Undaunted, the pastor announced the next Sunday morning that he would meet that evening with all members who had "mountain moving faith." They would hold a prayer session asking God to remove the mountain from the back yard and to somehow provide enough money to have it paved and painted before the scheduled opening dedication service the following week.
At the appointed time, 24 of the congregation's 300 members assembled for prayer. They prayed for nearly three hours. At ten o'clock the pastor said the final "Amen." "We'll open next Sunday as scheduled," he assured everyone. "God has never let us down before, and I believe He will be faithful this time too."
The next morning as he was working in his study there came a loud knock at his door. When he called "come in," a rough looking construction foreman appeared, removing his hard hat as he entered. "Excuse me, Reverend. I'm from Acme Construction Company over in the next county. We're building a huge new shopping mall over there and we need some fill dirt. Would you be willing to sell us a chunk of that mountain behind the church? We'll pay you for the dirt we remove and pave all the exposed area free of charge, if we can have it right away. We can't do anything else until we get the dirt in and allow it to settle properly."
The little church was dedicated the next Sunday as originally planned and there were far more members with "mountain moving faith" on opening Sunday than there had been the previous week!
Would you have shown up for that prayer meeting? Some people say faith comes from miracles. But others know: MIRACLES COME FROM FAITH!
- Author Unknown
- Author Unknown
A small congregation in the foothills of the Great Smokies built a new sanctuary on a piece of land willed to them by a church member. Ten days before the new church was to open, the local building inspector informed the pastor that the parking lot was inadequate for the size of the building. Until the church doubled the size of the parking lot, they would not be able to use the new sanctuary.
Unfortunately, the church with its undersized lot had used every inch of their land except for the mountain against which it had been built. In order to build more parking spaces, they would have to move the mountain out of the back yard. Undaunted, the pastor announced the next Sunday morning that he would meet that evening with all members who had "mountain moving faith." They would hold a prayer session asking God to remove the mountain from the back yard and to somehow provide enough money to have it paved and painted before the scheduled opening dedication service the following week.
At the appointed time, 24 of the congregation's 300 members assembled for prayer. They prayed for nearly three hours. At ten o'clock the pastor said the final "Amen." "We'll open next Sunday as scheduled," he assured everyone. "God has never let us down before, and I believe He will be faithful this time too."
The next morning as he was working in his study there came a loud knock at his door. When he called "come in," a rough looking construction foreman appeared, removing his hard hat as he entered. "Excuse me, Reverend. I'm from Acme Construction Company over in the next county. We're building a huge new shopping mall over there and we need some fill dirt. Would you be willing to sell us a chunk of that mountain behind the church? We'll pay you for the dirt we remove and pave all the exposed area free of charge, if we can have it right away. We can't do anything else until we get the dirt in and allow it to settle properly."
The little church was dedicated the next Sunday as originally planned and there were far more members with "mountain moving faith" on opening Sunday than there had been the previous week!
Would you have shown up for that prayer meeting? Some people say faith comes from miracles. But others know: MIRACLES COME FROM FAITH!
- Author Unknown
OPPORTUNITY IS ALL AROUND YOU
--------------------------------------------------
The people that really succeed in the world are the people who look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, they make them.
The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now. Properly perceived, every situation becomes an opportunity for you.
Your destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of the choices you make. Being successful is not something you wait for, but rather something you achieve with effort. Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.
You develop your opportunities by applying persistence to your possibilities.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The people that really succeed in the world are the people who look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, they make them.
The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great opportunity in your life is where you are right now. Properly perceived, every situation becomes an opportunity for you.
Your destiny is not a matter of chance, it's a matter of the choices you make. Being successful is not something you wait for, but rather something you achieve with effort. Things won't turn up in this world until you turn them up.
You develop your opportunities by applying persistence to your possibilities.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Gathering Support
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Rallying The Troops
When a crisis strikes, we often feel compelled to go it alone. It may be that we view seeking out others in times of trouble as a weakness or believe that it is our duty to handle problems alone. But dealing with extremely stressful situations single-handedly can create a sense of isolation leading to even more stress, which in turn can lead to depression and anxiety. Utilizing your personal support network, or rallying your troops, helps you maintain a sense of belonging, determination, and self-esteem in times of crisis. Your friends, family, and your spiritual guardians can be a source of comfort, guidance, and simple practical help. Calling on not one friend, but all those who care for you, can help you persevere through innumerable trying situations.
You may or may not want advice, but simply letting your support network know what you are going through and knowing that they are there to support you will make a positive difference. In doing so, you will have an entire team bolstering your spirit. Your troops may be just a passive source of positive energy or they may be more active helpers, offering solutions to your problem, commenting on your choices, or sharing their own experiences in a similar situation. They can also be an impartial sounding board from which you can bounce ideas before coming to a conclusion. You can rally your spirit guide, favorite angel, or other ethereal troops by contacting them in your customary way and asking for help. Support will come from all sides when you rally your troops, giving you great strength, encouragement, and the will to move forward, even when the necessary action is a difficult one.
You can rally your troops during all manner of tough times big or small. When you feel the need to do so, e-mail or call everyone in your support network and ask for help in the spiritual realm. Having your team behind you can make such a difference because the feeling that others are with you is a poweful one.
What do you think?
Rallying The Troops
When a crisis strikes, we often feel compelled to go it alone. It may be that we view seeking out others in times of trouble as a weakness or believe that it is our duty to handle problems alone. But dealing with extremely stressful situations single-handedly can create a sense of isolation leading to even more stress, which in turn can lead to depression and anxiety. Utilizing your personal support network, or rallying your troops, helps you maintain a sense of belonging, determination, and self-esteem in times of crisis. Your friends, family, and your spiritual guardians can be a source of comfort, guidance, and simple practical help. Calling on not one friend, but all those who care for you, can help you persevere through innumerable trying situations.
You may or may not want advice, but simply letting your support network know what you are going through and knowing that they are there to support you will make a positive difference. In doing so, you will have an entire team bolstering your spirit. Your troops may be just a passive source of positive energy or they may be more active helpers, offering solutions to your problem, commenting on your choices, or sharing their own experiences in a similar situation. They can also be an impartial sounding board from which you can bounce ideas before coming to a conclusion. You can rally your spirit guide, favorite angel, or other ethereal troops by contacting them in your customary way and asking for help. Support will come from all sides when you rally your troops, giving you great strength, encouragement, and the will to move forward, even when the necessary action is a difficult one.
You can rally your troops during all manner of tough times big or small. When you feel the need to do so, e-mail or call everyone in your support network and ask for help in the spiritual realm. Having your team behind you can make such a difference because the feeling that others are with you is a poweful one.
What do you think?
7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile
----------------------------------------------------
– By Roger Carr
Do you want to put a smile on someone's face? Maybe make their day a little bit brighter? It doesn't have to take much time or monëy on your part. In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing. You won't know how many people are encouraged by your kindness because smiles are contagious. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today to put smiles on their faces.
1. Write an encouraging note to others that have encouraged you or that need encouragement. Handwritten notes that are given to encourage, not just for thanking someone for a gift, are rare. That makes handwritten notes even more special. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!
2. Take a friend out to lunch or invite her to your home for a meal. You will get to know each other even better than you do right nöw. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a party for several of your friends and put smiles on a multitude of faces.
3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it.
4. Ask a friend or relative if you can take care of their kid(s) for a day or evening. If you have been a parent, you know the value of being able to have a few hours of "adult time" without worrying about the children. Don't wait to be asked to baby-sit when it is required. Offer to do it at a time when the parent can do something fun and relaxing.
5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.
6. Volunteer time to supporting your local church or charity. Every minute you dedicate to a church or charity will cause many smiles. You will put a smile on the face of each leader just for helping without being asked. You will also be putting smiles on the faces of those that are being helped through the organization.
7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day. The list of those that you come in contact with is endless. Remember family and friends, secretaries, co-workers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, pastors, store employees, janitors, gas station attendants, those that deliver your mail and newspaper, and servers at restaurants.
I know this is a list of 7 ways to put a smile on someone's face, but there is one more way that can't be ignored. Reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet. You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!
About the Author:
Roger Carr is the founder of Everyday Giving. His life purpose is to help people help others. He lives with his wïfe and son in historic Fredericksburg, Virginia. Learn more ways to give, sign up for the frëe Everyday Giving ezine at http://www.everydaygiving.com/ezine.htm
– By Roger Carr
Do you want to put a smile on someone's face? Maybe make their day a little bit brighter? It doesn't have to take much time or monëy on your part. In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing. You won't know how many people are encouraged by your kindness because smiles are contagious. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today to put smiles on their faces.
1. Write an encouraging note to others that have encouraged you or that need encouragement. Handwritten notes that are given to encourage, not just for thanking someone for a gift, are rare. That makes handwritten notes even more special. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!
2. Take a friend out to lunch or invite her to your home for a meal. You will get to know each other even better than you do right nöw. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a party for several of your friends and put smiles on a multitude of faces.
3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it.
4. Ask a friend or relative if you can take care of their kid(s) for a day or evening. If you have been a parent, you know the value of being able to have a few hours of "adult time" without worrying about the children. Don't wait to be asked to baby-sit when it is required. Offer to do it at a time when the parent can do something fun and relaxing.
5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.
6. Volunteer time to supporting your local church or charity. Every minute you dedicate to a church or charity will cause many smiles. You will put a smile on the face of each leader just for helping without being asked. You will also be putting smiles on the faces of those that are being helped through the organization.
7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day. The list of those that you come in contact with is endless. Remember family and friends, secretaries, co-workers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, pastors, store employees, janitors, gas station attendants, those that deliver your mail and newspaper, and servers at restaurants.
I know this is a list of 7 ways to put a smile on someone's face, but there is one more way that can't be ignored. Reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet. You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!
About the Author:
Roger Carr is the founder of Everyday Giving. His life purpose is to help people help others. He lives with his wïfe and son in historic Fredericksburg, Virginia. Learn more ways to give, sign up for the frëe Everyday Giving ezine at http://www.everydaygiving.com/ezine.htm
GREAT EXPECTATIONS PRECEDE GREAT SUCCESS
------------------------------------------
High expectation always precedes high achievement. You're as small as your controlling desires, or as great as your dominant aspirations.
Once your mind stretches to a new idea it never goes back to its original dimensions. Think little goals and you can expect little achievement. Think big goals and you'll win big success.
The first ingredient of your success is to dream a great dream. You must dream big and think big to be big.
©2005 by Max Steingart
High expectation always precedes high achievement. You're as small as your controlling desires, or as great as your dominant aspirations.
Once your mind stretches to a new idea it never goes back to its original dimensions. Think little goals and you can expect little achievement. Think big goals and you'll win big success.
The first ingredient of your success is to dream a great dream. You must dream big and think big to be big.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Steps In The Right Direction
----------------------------------------------------
Tools For Balance
The drive to improve oneself and one's life is never ending. Therefore, it can be helpful to have useful tools for general, everyday improvements in life. Whatever your need for change and whenever it arises, open your toolbox and integrate one or more of these tools into your life.
Each day, ask the universe how you may be of service.
Because all people are intimately connected with the universe at large, we both work for it and benefit from it. When you give to the universe with positive intentions, you naturally reap abundance. Instead of waiting for opportunities to be of service to present themselves, ask what service you may provide. Ask each morning upon waking or meditating. Be assured the universe will ask nothing more of you than that which you are equipped to give.
Cook with intention and bless all you consume.
The life force and that which nourishes the spirit is closely intertwined with what take into our bodies. A Zen tale tells us to see the pot as our head and the water as our blood. The art of cooking involves preparing foods mindfully and projecting positive energy into what we eat. And part of bringing out the life force is showing loving respect for the labor involved in the cultivation and preparation of food. Speak a simple blessing over your food before every meal to reinforce your connection with the circle of life.
Do unto others.
Promoting unselfish love in your life involves expressing spontaneous and unprovoked kindness toward all people. Pleasant and gracious behaviors feed the soul of the giver and the recipient, who will often respond with similar kindnesses. Treat others how you wish to be treated with simple gestures like a smile, an offer of assistance, a please or thank you, or gift. Taking the time to be kind will make your life and the lives of others more enjoyable and fulfilling.
Take time to center yourself daily.
Both in times of strife and in times of calm, remember to direct your focus inward for a few moments each day. Pay attention to your body, determine where you are retaining tension, and let it go. Breathe deeply, close your eyes, and slip into a brief period of meditation. Allow yourself to be stabilized and strengthened by the earth's energy. When you have found a calm place, open your eyes and offer gratitude before continuing your day.
Take time to enjoy the community of others.
Fellowship is a joyful part of being alive, though easy to neglect is this busy world. Make time to spend with close friends or people who share your interests. Talking to a special friend can be therapeutic while gathering in a group can be a potent stress reliever. Remember, shared joys are increased while shared pain is lessened.
What do you think?
Tools For Balance
The drive to improve oneself and one's life is never ending. Therefore, it can be helpful to have useful tools for general, everyday improvements in life. Whatever your need for change and whenever it arises, open your toolbox and integrate one or more of these tools into your life.
Each day, ask the universe how you may be of service.
Because all people are intimately connected with the universe at large, we both work for it and benefit from it. When you give to the universe with positive intentions, you naturally reap abundance. Instead of waiting for opportunities to be of service to present themselves, ask what service you may provide. Ask each morning upon waking or meditating. Be assured the universe will ask nothing more of you than that which you are equipped to give.
Cook with intention and bless all you consume.
The life force and that which nourishes the spirit is closely intertwined with what take into our bodies. A Zen tale tells us to see the pot as our head and the water as our blood. The art of cooking involves preparing foods mindfully and projecting positive energy into what we eat. And part of bringing out the life force is showing loving respect for the labor involved in the cultivation and preparation of food. Speak a simple blessing over your food before every meal to reinforce your connection with the circle of life.
Do unto others.
Promoting unselfish love in your life involves expressing spontaneous and unprovoked kindness toward all people. Pleasant and gracious behaviors feed the soul of the giver and the recipient, who will often respond with similar kindnesses. Treat others how you wish to be treated with simple gestures like a smile, an offer of assistance, a please or thank you, or gift. Taking the time to be kind will make your life and the lives of others more enjoyable and fulfilling.
Take time to center yourself daily.
Both in times of strife and in times of calm, remember to direct your focus inward for a few moments each day. Pay attention to your body, determine where you are retaining tension, and let it go. Breathe deeply, close your eyes, and slip into a brief period of meditation. Allow yourself to be stabilized and strengthened by the earth's energy. When you have found a calm place, open your eyes and offer gratitude before continuing your day.
Take time to enjoy the community of others.
Fellowship is a joyful part of being alive, though easy to neglect is this busy world. Make time to spend with close friends or people who share your interests. Talking to a special friend can be therapeutic while gathering in a group can be a potent stress reliever. Remember, shared joys are increased while shared pain is lessened.
What do you think?
Cultivating Your Self-Esteem
----------------------------------------------------
– By Brian Tracy
Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performänce in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.
Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis.
Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you can possibly be.
Your level of self-esteem is really your level of "mental fitness." It's a measure of how healthy, hardy, and resilient you are in dealing with the inevitable ups and downs of daily life. Your self-esteem determines how much peace of mind and inner contentment you experience. It is also closely linked to your health and levels of energy. People with high self-esteem are seldom sick and seem to have an inexhaustible flow of energy and enthusiasm that progressively moves them toward their goals.
How much you like and respect yourself also determines the quality of your relationships with people. The more you like and enjoy yourself, the more you will like and enjoy others, and the more they will like you. In fact, when your self-esteem is hurt in any way, the very first thing that is affected is the way you get along with people.
To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.
I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performänce.
This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let's take them one at a time.
How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.
Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it's really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.
The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.
Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent-that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that's when you start to make real progress.
Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can't seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.
The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a wïnner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can't hit a target you can't see. You can't feel like a wïnner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.
Let's say that you set a goal to sell a certain amount or eärn a certain amount of ïncome in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself. Each time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will increase, and you will feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge.
The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. Leon Festinger of Harvard Unïversity concluded that in determining how well we are doing, we do not compare ourselves with abstract standards, but, rather, we compare ourselves with people we know. To feel like a wïnner, you must know for sure that you are doing as well as or better than someone else. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more you will
feel like a wïnner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.
Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performänces, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.
The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.
The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols-larger offices, bïgger cars-or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredïble impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.
If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem, you must create rewards for yourself. One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals. For example, people who do telephöne prospecting will often treat themselves to a cup of coffee after every 10 calls. After 25 calls, they will reward themselves with a walk around the building or the block. After 50 calls, they will go out to lunch. Each of those rewards serves as an
incentive that motivates them to repeat the performänce. The end result is success, enthusiasm, and high self-esteem.
Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem building-goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards-you need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building yourself up on a regular basis.
Of course, it is possible to like yourself in the abstract, to think of yourself as a valuable and worthwhile person, but this tends to be a very shaky förm of self-esteem that is easily knocked down by a negative experience or a temporary disappointment. The only real way for you to absolutely know that you are a valuable and worthwhile person is for you to make the effort, overcome the obstacles and pay the price to bring these elements into your life. When you have that foundation, you will experience a förm of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.
About the Author:
A leading authority on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness, Brian Tracy is a dynamic speaker with a wonderful ability to inform and inspire audiences. He is the president of the Institute for Executive Development and was formerly the president of a major development company. The author of numerous books and other materials aimed at helping people perform at their peak and achieve their full potential, Tracy has shared his wïnning insights with thousands of people throughout the world.
– By Brian Tracy
Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality. It precedes and predicts your performänce in almost everything you do. It is the energy source or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm and personal magnetism. People with high self-esteem are more positive, more likable and more effective in every part of their lives.
Everything that you do or say or think will affect your self-esteem. Your job, therefore, is to keep your self-esteem high and positive on a continuing basis.
Probably the best definition of self-esteem is this: the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person. People with high self-esteem feel terrific about themselves and their lives. When you feel really good about yourself, you tend to be the very best person you can possibly be.
Your level of self-esteem is really your level of "mental fitness." It's a measure of how healthy, hardy, and resilient you are in dealing with the inevitable ups and downs of daily life. Your self-esteem determines how much peace of mind and inner contentment you experience. It is also closely linked to your health and levels of energy. People with high self-esteem are seldom sick and seem to have an inexhaustible flow of energy and enthusiasm that progressively moves them toward their goals.
How much you like and respect yourself also determines the quality of your relationships with people. The more you like and enjoy yourself, the more you will like and enjoy others, and the more they will like you. In fact, when your self-esteem is hurt in any way, the very first thing that is affected is the way you get along with people.
To perform at your best and to feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance. Just as you take responsibility for your level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.
I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements of self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to assure maximum performänce.
This formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are: goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. Let's take them one at a time.
How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals. The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.
Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you. For that reason, it's really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving those goals. Each progressive step causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel more positive and effective in everything else you do.
The second element in self-esteem building is having clear standards and values to which you are committed. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in. The higher your values and ideals are, and the more committed you are to living your life consistent with those values and ideals, the more you will like and respect yourself, and the higher your self-esteem will be.
Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and your values are congruent-that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove. Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another. But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that's when you start to make real progress.
Many people tell me that they are unhappy with their job because they can't seem to achieve success no matter how hard they try. I always ask them if they are doing what they really care about and believe in. In many cases, people realize that they are not happy with their job because it is the wrong kind of work for them. Once they change jobs and start doing something that they really enjoy, something that is more consistent with their innermost convictions, they start to make real progress and get a lot of satisfaction out of their work.
The third element in self-esteem building involves having success experiences. Once you have set your goals and standards, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep score of your small and large successes along the way. The very act of setting up a goal, breaking it down into smaller parts, and then completing those parts makes you feel like a wïnner and causes your self-esteem to go up. But remember that you can't hit a target you can't see. You can't feel like a wïnner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.
Let's say that you set a goal to sell a certain amount or eärn a certain amount of ïncome in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself. Each time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will increase, and you will feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge.
The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. Leon Festinger of Harvard Unïversity concluded that in determining how well we are doing, we do not compare ourselves with abstract standards, but, rather, we compare ourselves with people we know. To feel like a wïnner, you must know for sure that you are doing as well as or better than someone else. The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them, the more you will
feel like a wïnner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.
Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. They think about them and read about them and study their performänces, and then they work to surpass them one step at a time. Eventually, successful people reach the point where they compete only with themselves and with their past accomplishments. But this comes after they have moved to the top and left many of their competitors behind.
The next element for self-esteem is recognition of your accomplishments by people whom you respect. To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse and people in your social circle. Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard, your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.
The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments. You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols-larger offices, bïgger cars-or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement. All of those symbols can have an incredïble impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself.
If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem, you must create rewards for yourself. One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals. For example, people who do telephöne prospecting will often treat themselves to a cup of coffee after every 10 calls. After 25 calls, they will reward themselves with a walk around the building or the block. After 50 calls, they will go out to lunch. Each of those rewards serves as an
incentive that motivates them to repeat the performänce. The end result is success, enthusiasm, and high self-esteem.
Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem building-goals, standards, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards-you need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building yourself up on a regular basis.
Of course, it is possible to like yourself in the abstract, to think of yourself as a valuable and worthwhile person, but this tends to be a very shaky förm of self-esteem that is easily knocked down by a negative experience or a temporary disappointment. The only real way for you to absolutely know that you are a valuable and worthwhile person is for you to make the effort, overcome the obstacles and pay the price to bring these elements into your life. When you have that foundation, you will experience a förm of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.
About the Author:
A leading authority on the development of human potential and personal effectiveness, Brian Tracy is a dynamic speaker with a wonderful ability to inform and inspire audiences. He is the president of the Institute for Executive Development and was formerly the president of a major development company. The author of numerous books and other materials aimed at helping people perform at their peak and achieve their full potential, Tracy has shared his wïnning insights with thousands of people throughout the world.
THERE IS ALWAYS A GOOD SIDE
-----------------------------------------------
Everything depends on the way you look at things. View every problem you encounter as an opportunity. There is always a good side to every situation.
The optimist sees an opportunity in every misfortune. The pessimist sees misfortune in every opportunity. The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole.
You can develop success from every failure. Discouragement and failure are two stepping stones to success. No other elements can do so much for you if you're willing to study them and make them work for you.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Everything depends on the way you look at things. View every problem you encounter as an opportunity. There is always a good side to every situation.
The optimist sees an opportunity in every misfortune. The pessimist sees misfortune in every opportunity. The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole.
You can develop success from every failure. Discouragement and failure are two stepping stones to success. No other elements can do so much for you if you're willing to study them and make them work for you.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, August 22, 2005
Creating Roots
----------------------------------------------------
The Nesting Instinct
The desire for a place to put down roots is nearly universal. There is a natural instinct that guides us toward a comfortable sanctuary that we ourselves have created or can call home. This is the nesting or cocooning instinct. It is this drive that calls to us after a day of work or play, that counteracts the chaos of the outside world by bringing us somewhere we belong. Your nest, be it home, apartment, or single room provides a safe haven from uncertainty and a sense of comfort and control. It offers you a space that is welcoming, nurturing, and meets your demands. In nesting, you are expressing yourself, fulfilling your needs, and giving substance to your intention to live the way you want to live.
The means of nesting are as individual as each of us. Some people consider their home their refuge. Others see it as a safe place for relaxing and spending time with family and friends. It is human nature, much like it is for animals, to have the desire to nest. Many women feel the instinct to put down roots and to raise a family in a consistent and nurturing setting, and nest to fulfill this instinct. Men may feel more driven to forage, or focus outwardly, but still want to create a safe haven for themselves.
The more effort you put into creating a home or space you enjoy, the more you will be drawn to it. Try using all-natural cleaning products in scents that are pleasing to you. Soft lighting can be a welcome relief after a day spent under fluorescent lamps. Candlelight and music can add warmth and feelings of safety to your home. An easy way to create a welcoming home is to make sure your furniture is comfortable and cozy, and your home has some color that makes you feel good. Making even minor changes can stimulate the nesting instinct.
Part of the nesting instinct lies in your home's ability to counteract stress. After a busy day, returning to your personal space will lower your blood pressure, relax your muscles, and help you clear your mind. The act of "building your nest" can give you a sense of accomplishment that is bolstered each time you come home and a space that makes you feel good is the ideal background for a centered life.
What do you think?
The Nesting Instinct
The desire for a place to put down roots is nearly universal. There is a natural instinct that guides us toward a comfortable sanctuary that we ourselves have created or can call home. This is the nesting or cocooning instinct. It is this drive that calls to us after a day of work or play, that counteracts the chaos of the outside world by bringing us somewhere we belong. Your nest, be it home, apartment, or single room provides a safe haven from uncertainty and a sense of comfort and control. It offers you a space that is welcoming, nurturing, and meets your demands. In nesting, you are expressing yourself, fulfilling your needs, and giving substance to your intention to live the way you want to live.
The means of nesting are as individual as each of us. Some people consider their home their refuge. Others see it as a safe place for relaxing and spending time with family and friends. It is human nature, much like it is for animals, to have the desire to nest. Many women feel the instinct to put down roots and to raise a family in a consistent and nurturing setting, and nest to fulfill this instinct. Men may feel more driven to forage, or focus outwardly, but still want to create a safe haven for themselves.
The more effort you put into creating a home or space you enjoy, the more you will be drawn to it. Try using all-natural cleaning products in scents that are pleasing to you. Soft lighting can be a welcome relief after a day spent under fluorescent lamps. Candlelight and music can add warmth and feelings of safety to your home. An easy way to create a welcoming home is to make sure your furniture is comfortable and cozy, and your home has some color that makes you feel good. Making even minor changes can stimulate the nesting instinct.
Part of the nesting instinct lies in your home's ability to counteract stress. After a busy day, returning to your personal space will lower your blood pressure, relax your muscles, and help you clear your mind. The act of "building your nest" can give you a sense of accomplishment that is bolstered each time you come home and a space that makes you feel good is the ideal background for a centered life.
What do you think?
Sore Losers or Gracious Losers?
----------------------------------------------------
- By Bruno Gideon
What’s the difference between sore losers and gracious losers? It’s simple, really. The former live moment by moment, thinking that their mission in life is to win every time they have a chance. The latter take a long-term view. They can accept a loss with grace because they know it may lead to a later, and greater, victory.
Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)
To jump farther, you have to take a run at it. And in order to do that,
you have to take a few steps back.
– Anonymous
Anybody can win graciously; it is much more difficult to lose graciously. Have you suffered a defeat recently? Don't react with self-reproach and "poor-me" feelings. Stop suffering and start looking forward to your next win, focusing on a long-range goal. Losing can be a step in the right direction by giving you an opportunity to learn something. Thinking long-term is a recipe for success.
Don't forget: today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.
- Bruno Gideon
- By Bruno Gideon
What’s the difference between sore losers and gracious losers? It’s simple, really. The former live moment by moment, thinking that their mission in life is to win every time they have a chance. The latter take a long-term view. They can accept a loss with grace because they know it may lead to a later, and greater, victory.
Win as if you were used to it, lose as if you enjoyed it for a change.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)
To jump farther, you have to take a run at it. And in order to do that,
you have to take a few steps back.
– Anonymous
Anybody can win graciously; it is much more difficult to lose graciously. Have you suffered a defeat recently? Don't react with self-reproach and "poor-me" feelings. Stop suffering and start looking forward to your next win, focusing on a long-range goal. Losing can be a step in the right direction by giving you an opportunity to learn something. Thinking long-term is a recipe for success.
Don't forget: today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday.
- Bruno Gideon
DREAMS COME TRUE IF YOU PURSUE THEM
DREAMS COME TRUE IF YOU PURSUE THEM
------------------------------------------------
Reality forms around your commitments. The achievement of your goal is assured
the moment you commit yourself to it.
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain or other circumstances can be there, but if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it.
Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it will form a nucleus with the power to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfullment.
You're never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
©2005 by Max Steingart
------------------------------------------------
Reality forms around your commitments. The achievement of your goal is assured
the moment you commit yourself to it.
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain or other circumstances can be there, but if you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it.
Plant the seed of desire in your mind and it will form a nucleus with the power to attract to itself everything needed for its fulfullment.
You're never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, August 19, 2005
Embarking On A New Path
--------------------------------------------------
Changing Careers
What we do for a living can be intimately intertwined with who we are. Often, people expect to grow and thrive in one career over a period of decades. For others, however, that expectation is unrealistic. As they themselves change, they become dissatisfied with the profession that once brought them joy. This is not unusual in modern times, where more and more people are changing careers not just once, but many times over the course of their lives. Because your career is a part of who you are, switching to another can be a long and involved process that requires courage and determination. The challenges, which can include stepping into unfamiliar territory, going back to school, or learning to live on less income, are very real, but the rewards can trump them. Changing careers, if done thoughtfully, can be one of the most richly satisfying and exciting experiences of your life.
If for years your soul has been telling you that you would make a skilled lawyer, a talented sculptor, or a brilliant electrical engineer, it's worth investigating the possibilities. Or, you may be desirous of a more soulful and fulfilling career but haven't figured out what it is yet. In either case, explore. If you have identified a passion, research it. Talk to people in that field and find out how they got there. Ask about the ups and the downs. If you're unsure of a career path you might like to pursue, look toward your passions, abilities, hobbies, and values. Determine what your ideal work hours, income, commute time, and working situation would be. If you love the idea of flexible hours or working from home, decide whether you would be willing to earn less as a trade off. Look for careers that offer the type of work environment and benefits you are looking for. Creating a new future takes time and effort, and a willingness to delve deep into the positives and negatives of a variety of careers.
Focus on your strengths, rather than skills you may be lacking. Seeking skill training or the help of a career counselor can be helpful. It's normal to be nervous when seeking out a new career, particularly if you are established in your current profession. But the payoff can be true satisfaction in finding work that you can love, and, it's never too late for change.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Changing Careers
What we do for a living can be intimately intertwined with who we are. Often, people expect to grow and thrive in one career over a period of decades. For others, however, that expectation is unrealistic. As they themselves change, they become dissatisfied with the profession that once brought them joy. This is not unusual in modern times, where more and more people are changing careers not just once, but many times over the course of their lives. Because your career is a part of who you are, switching to another can be a long and involved process that requires courage and determination. The challenges, which can include stepping into unfamiliar territory, going back to school, or learning to live on less income, are very real, but the rewards can trump them. Changing careers, if done thoughtfully, can be one of the most richly satisfying and exciting experiences of your life.
If for years your soul has been telling you that you would make a skilled lawyer, a talented sculptor, or a brilliant electrical engineer, it's worth investigating the possibilities. Or, you may be desirous of a more soulful and fulfilling career but haven't figured out what it is yet. In either case, explore. If you have identified a passion, research it. Talk to people in that field and find out how they got there. Ask about the ups and the downs. If you're unsure of a career path you might like to pursue, look toward your passions, abilities, hobbies, and values. Determine what your ideal work hours, income, commute time, and working situation would be. If you love the idea of flexible hours or working from home, decide whether you would be willing to earn less as a trade off. Look for careers that offer the type of work environment and benefits you are looking for. Creating a new future takes time and effort, and a willingness to delve deep into the positives and negatives of a variety of careers.
Focus on your strengths, rather than skills you may be lacking. Seeking skill training or the help of a career counselor can be helpful. It's normal to be nervous when seeking out a new career, particularly if you are established in your current profession. But the payoff can be true satisfaction in finding work that you can love, and, it's never too late for change.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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26 Quick Tips for Living an Inspired Life
---------------------------------------------------
(© 1991 Carol James)
Here are 26 quick tips for living an inspired life.
Ask for what you want.
Be who you say you are.
Care about others.
Dare to live your dreams.
Ease through the day.
Find the best fit.
Give to another.
Hug a friend.
Inspire someone to greatness.
Jump over a boundary.
Kick a bad habit.
Leap across a fear.
Mention something uplifting.
Never say never.
Open your mind and heart.
Pursue your innermost passions.
Quit complaining.
Restore your smile.
Set your sights high.
Trust yourself.
Use all the day.
Value everything.
Wait until it feels right.
Xpress yourself.
Yank weeds from your mental garden.
Zoom into the now.
(© 1991 Carol James)
Here are 26 quick tips for living an inspired life.
Ask for what you want.
Be who you say you are.
Care about others.
Dare to live your dreams.
Ease through the day.
Find the best fit.
Give to another.
Hug a friend.
Inspire someone to greatness.
Jump over a boundary.
Kick a bad habit.
Leap across a fear.
Mention something uplifting.
Never say never.
Open your mind and heart.
Pursue your innermost passions.
Quit complaining.
Restore your smile.
Set your sights high.
Trust yourself.
Use all the day.
Value everything.
Wait until it feels right.
Xpress yourself.
Yank weeds from your mental garden.
Zoom into the now.
YOUR TRIALS AND SORROWS DEVELOP YOU
--------------------------------------------------
Whatever good or bad fortune comes your way, give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Trouble is the common denominator of living. It's the great equalizer of life.
Personal growth is the process of responding positively to change. All growth means change and change always involves risks, stepping from the known to the unknown. All of your growth depends on your activity. It only comes through continuous effort and struggle. You'll have no development without effort.
Life chips and pounds you to bring out your possibilities. She will strip you of wealth, humble your pride, humiliate your ambition, let you down from the ladder of fame, and discipline you in a thousand different ways, if she can develop a little character. Everything gives way to that.
Wealth is nothing, position is nothing, fame is nothing. Who you become inside is everything.
What happens to you is not as important as how you react to what happens.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Whatever good or bad fortune comes your way, give it meaning and transform it into something of value. Trouble is the common denominator of living. It's the great equalizer of life.
Personal growth is the process of responding positively to change. All growth means change and change always involves risks, stepping from the known to the unknown. All of your growth depends on your activity. It only comes through continuous effort and struggle. You'll have no development without effort.
Life chips and pounds you to bring out your possibilities. She will strip you of wealth, humble your pride, humiliate your ambition, let you down from the ladder of fame, and discipline you in a thousand different ways, if she can develop a little character. Everything gives way to that.
Wealth is nothing, position is nothing, fame is nothing. Who you become inside is everything.
What happens to you is not as important as how you react to what happens.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, August 18, 2005
A Measure Of Success
---------------------------------------------------
Emotional vs. Intellectual Intelligence
Not many years ago, the intelligence quotient, or IQ, was seen as a strong indicator of the level of success one could attain in life. The standard IQ test measured raw intelligence, including abilities such as logic and reasoning skills, reading, writing, and analyzing. Research, however, soon proved that the IQ could not predict academic and professional performance as once had been thought. There was another element involved: emotional intelligence, also known as the EQ. Emotional intelligence measures one's understanding of emotions, the ability to empathize and work with others, and manage under stress. IQ seldom changes and most people fall into the top 10% of intellectual intelligence, while EQ can change through self-discipline or a profound experience. Nonetheless, they function in tandem and are both important to personal development and success.
If IQ defines how smart you are, EQ determines how you use that blessing. Individuals with high EQ's are better equipped to make use of their cognitive abilities. They are often chosen for advancement in their professions or volunteer experiences because they possess the ability to inspire people to action and to make others feel more confident. People with high IQ's but low EQ's sometimes sabotage themselves because they are unable to relate to their peers, cannot handle stress constructively, and find emotional connections difficult to maintain. Developing your EQ can help you access your innate intelligence and amplify your empathy, which can lead to career advancement and better relationships. Practice embracing your uniqueness and the uniqueness of others, expressing your feelings and interpreting those of your friends and family, and being decisive - all of which can help boost your EQ.
Experts say that a heightened EQ can bring happiness because it lets you focus on feelings as well as facts, whereas the IQ is concerned with logic. A strong EQ also makes you more able to access the benefits of your IQ because it takes both to build a successful career, strong relationships, and a fulfilling life.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Emotional vs. Intellectual Intelligence
Not many years ago, the intelligence quotient, or IQ, was seen as a strong indicator of the level of success one could attain in life. The standard IQ test measured raw intelligence, including abilities such as logic and reasoning skills, reading, writing, and analyzing. Research, however, soon proved that the IQ could not predict academic and professional performance as once had been thought. There was another element involved: emotional intelligence, also known as the EQ. Emotional intelligence measures one's understanding of emotions, the ability to empathize and work with others, and manage under stress. IQ seldom changes and most people fall into the top 10% of intellectual intelligence, while EQ can change through self-discipline or a profound experience. Nonetheless, they function in tandem and are both important to personal development and success.
If IQ defines how smart you are, EQ determines how you use that blessing. Individuals with high EQ's are better equipped to make use of their cognitive abilities. They are often chosen for advancement in their professions or volunteer experiences because they possess the ability to inspire people to action and to make others feel more confident. People with high IQ's but low EQ's sometimes sabotage themselves because they are unable to relate to their peers, cannot handle stress constructively, and find emotional connections difficult to maintain. Developing your EQ can help you access your innate intelligence and amplify your empathy, which can lead to career advancement and better relationships. Practice embracing your uniqueness and the uniqueness of others, expressing your feelings and interpreting those of your friends and family, and being decisive - all of which can help boost your EQ.
Experts say that a heightened EQ can bring happiness because it lets you focus on feelings as well as facts, whereas the IQ is concerned with logic. A strong EQ also makes you more able to access the benefits of your IQ because it takes both to build a successful career, strong relationships, and a fulfilling life.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Connecting The Dots
-----------------------------------------------------
Sent by: Matthew Feshbach, MLF Investments -Belleair Bluffs, FL
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005, at Stanford.
"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 50 deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much."
Sent by: Matthew Feshbach, MLF Investments -Belleair Bluffs, FL
This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005, at Stanford.
"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.
It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 50 deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later. Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
Thank you all very much."
FEAR IS OVERCOME WITH ACTION
-------------------------------------------------
One of the greatest surprises you'll experience, is when you discover that you can do
what you were afraid you couldn't do.
Your obstacles will melt away, if instead of cowering before them, you make up your mind to walk boldly through them.
Do the thing you fear and fear disappears. Confront your fears, list them, get to know them and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.
When you face the things that scare you, you open the door to freedom.
The only thing you have to fear, is fear itself.
©2005 by Max Steingart
One of the greatest surprises you'll experience, is when you discover that you can do
what you were afraid you couldn't do.
Your obstacles will melt away, if instead of cowering before them, you make up your mind to walk boldly through them.
Do the thing you fear and fear disappears. Confront your fears, list them, get to know them and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.
When you face the things that scare you, you open the door to freedom.
The only thing you have to fear, is fear itself.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Being Frank
----------------------------------------------------------
Constructive Confrontation
Pointing out a fault or misstep in someone is often uncomfortable, draining, or stressful. It can be easier to overlook a problem than to confront the individual behind it. But just as everything in the universe has a positive and negative side, confrontation can be beneficial when handled one way or detrimental when handled in another way. If you accept that there is no winner or loser in a confrontation, and that it is merely a step in reaching a constructive solution, you can harness confrontation as a means of inspiring positive change. Sometimes the only way to show a person how they are doing you or themselves harm is to candidly express the consequences of their actions. In fact, confrontation, when handled in a calm and timely fashion, can be an act of caring.
If you find you shy away from confrontation, seeing it as an opportunity to help someone else may make it more bearable. To be willing to confront someone demonstrates your desire to maintain an open discourse with them, even if they don't initially see it as such. Naturally, in confronting someone, because you are openly discussing negative aspects of their behavior, you run the risk of offending them. But there are steps you can take to remove the sting from a confrontation. Remember that confrontation is nothing more than an opportunity for frank communication. Prepare beforehand by compiling a mental list of the facts surrounding the issue behind the confrontation. You may want to rehearse your opening statement to yourself, if it will make you feel more at ease. Finally, after discussing the behavior you are unhappy with in clear terms, give the other person a chance to respond without interrupting.
Maintaining a calm demeanor can turn a confrontation into a constructive conversation. Positive confrontation can be a learning experience for both parties, because it involves openly and bravely facing an issue. When most effective, both parties will come away from a confrontation feeling satisfied that they can move forward, changed for the better.
What do you think?
Constructive Confrontation
Pointing out a fault or misstep in someone is often uncomfortable, draining, or stressful. It can be easier to overlook a problem than to confront the individual behind it. But just as everything in the universe has a positive and negative side, confrontation can be beneficial when handled one way or detrimental when handled in another way. If you accept that there is no winner or loser in a confrontation, and that it is merely a step in reaching a constructive solution, you can harness confrontation as a means of inspiring positive change. Sometimes the only way to show a person how they are doing you or themselves harm is to candidly express the consequences of their actions. In fact, confrontation, when handled in a calm and timely fashion, can be an act of caring.
If you find you shy away from confrontation, seeing it as an opportunity to help someone else may make it more bearable. To be willing to confront someone demonstrates your desire to maintain an open discourse with them, even if they don't initially see it as such. Naturally, in confronting someone, because you are openly discussing negative aspects of their behavior, you run the risk of offending them. But there are steps you can take to remove the sting from a confrontation. Remember that confrontation is nothing more than an opportunity for frank communication. Prepare beforehand by compiling a mental list of the facts surrounding the issue behind the confrontation. You may want to rehearse your opening statement to yourself, if it will make you feel more at ease. Finally, after discussing the behavior you are unhappy with in clear terms, give the other person a chance to respond without interrupting.
Maintaining a calm demeanor can turn a confrontation into a constructive conversation. Positive confrontation can be a learning experience for both parties, because it involves openly and bravely facing an issue. When most effective, both parties will come away from a confrontation feeling satisfied that they can move forward, changed for the better.
What do you think?
When Perfect Isn't Good Enough
----------------------------------------------------
– By Susan Dunn, M.A.
Being a perfectionist can do you in. Excellence is good enough; don't saddle yourself with perfectionism.
If there's one thing that can really hamper a person, it's perfectionism. It's like a wolf in sheep's clothing, because it seems to be heading in the right direction, but it's actually way too much of a good thing. It's good to be interested in excellence, but when you feel that your work (or relationship) has to be perfect you're saddling yourself with a burden nobody needs and one that can affect every area of your life. You won't be able to please yourself at wörk or at höme because nothing and no one is perfect, or ever will be.
Hëre are some other ways perfectionism hampers you:
1. Perfectionism can lead to isolation. You won't want to let people get too close to you lest they perceive your short-comings. This leaves you without alliances, and out of the loop at work, and alone at home.
2. Perfectionism also makes you a poor risk-taker and taking risks is often required in business. Perfectionists become dysfunctional when something comes up that they've nevër seen before, or if they're asked to try something different that seems risky to them. It can also keep you from meeting deadlines.
3. When you're a perfectionist, your timidity and concern won't always be perceived as that; more often it's perceived as arrogance. It appears to others that you think you're better than them, because you have an exalted standard of perförmance for yourself.
4. When your goal is perfection, it becomes difficult to make decisions and to meet deadlines. You're always trying to out-think yourself.
5. Perfectionists are often micro-managers. They're afraid to let anyone else do anything, because of the unrealistic standard of perfection.
As you can see, there are many ways perfectionism holds you back, and very little good it does. Excellence is good; perfectionism is not, so don't let yourself fall in that trap. If you have tendencies in that direction, change your self-talk and be easier on yourself. You'll do better, and everyone else will appreciate it.
About the Author:
Susan Dunn, M.A., is a personal life coach who helps her clients succeed by developing their emotional intelligence, understanding their strengths better, and doing the inner work. You can visit her on the web at: http://www.susandunn.cc
– By Susan Dunn, M.A.
Being a perfectionist can do you in. Excellence is good enough; don't saddle yourself with perfectionism.
If there's one thing that can really hamper a person, it's perfectionism. It's like a wolf in sheep's clothing, because it seems to be heading in the right direction, but it's actually way too much of a good thing. It's good to be interested in excellence, but when you feel that your work (or relationship) has to be perfect you're saddling yourself with a burden nobody needs and one that can affect every area of your life. You won't be able to please yourself at wörk or at höme because nothing and no one is perfect, or ever will be.
Hëre are some other ways perfectionism hampers you:
1. Perfectionism can lead to isolation. You won't want to let people get too close to you lest they perceive your short-comings. This leaves you without alliances, and out of the loop at work, and alone at home.
2. Perfectionism also makes you a poor risk-taker and taking risks is often required in business. Perfectionists become dysfunctional when something comes up that they've nevër seen before, or if they're asked to try something different that seems risky to them. It can also keep you from meeting deadlines.
3. When you're a perfectionist, your timidity and concern won't always be perceived as that; more often it's perceived as arrogance. It appears to others that you think you're better than them, because you have an exalted standard of perförmance for yourself.
4. When your goal is perfection, it becomes difficult to make decisions and to meet deadlines. You're always trying to out-think yourself.
5. Perfectionists are often micro-managers. They're afraid to let anyone else do anything, because of the unrealistic standard of perfection.
As you can see, there are many ways perfectionism holds you back, and very little good it does. Excellence is good; perfectionism is not, so don't let yourself fall in that trap. If you have tendencies in that direction, change your self-talk and be easier on yourself. You'll do better, and everyone else will appreciate it.
About the Author:
Susan Dunn, M.A., is a personal life coach who helps her clients succeed by developing their emotional intelligence, understanding their strengths better, and doing the inner work. You can visit her on the web at: http://www.susandunn.cc
YOU DO NOT EXIST FOR YOURSELF.
-----------------------------------------------
You're not an isolated island. You're a piece of the planet, a piece of the universe.
Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.
Your success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be, is the support of others.
When you put yourself in another's place, you'll know why they think and do certain things. You can succeed fastest by helping others to succeed.
Always think in terms of what the other person wants. You'll get everything in life that you want if you'll help enough other people get what they want.
Doing things for others always pays dividends. When you help someone's boat across a river, you'll find your own boat has reached the shore too.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You're not an isolated island. You're a piece of the planet, a piece of the universe.
Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.
Your success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be, is the support of others.
When you put yourself in another's place, you'll know why they think and do certain things. You can succeed fastest by helping others to succeed.
Always think in terms of what the other person wants. You'll get everything in life that you want if you'll help enough other people get what they want.
Doing things for others always pays dividends. When you help someone's boat across a river, you'll find your own boat has reached the shore too.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Petals Of Unity
----------------------------------------------------
Flower Communion
Through the passage of time, flowers of all types have gained meaning and their significance has ranged from the simple to the profound. A single rose can impart love, a bunch of daisies can show friendship, and a mixed bouquet can express shared sorrow. In the context of a flower communion, however, flowers of all kinds become symbols of community, diversity, and shared esteem. The ritual involved in the flower communion is basic, but the symbolism runs deep. And yet, it can be a part of many different types of celebrations, to commemorate a birthday or season, or be a celebration in and of itself. A flower communion can take place in the height of summer, when flowers are at their richest and most colorful, or even in the autumn, winter, or spring.
In its simplest form, the flower communion is an exchange of flowers. Each member of a gathering brings a single stem with a blossom. The flower may have some significance to the bearer, being a favorite or something from their personal garden. As you arrive to the function, you place your flower in a communal vase, signifying a joining. When every flower has been placed, an individual or the entire group can arrange the diverse blossoms into a bouquet. Once the arrangement is complete, the host of the gathering may feel compelled to say a blessing or a few words about how each flower represents a single individual. No two are alike, as no two people are alike, yet all are able to come together to form a beautiful bouquet. The bouquet formed at any flower communion is unique, and would not be the same without the contribution of each person involved.
At the end of the ritual, each participant is invited to take home a different flower to show their willingness to walk with their fellows. But a flower ritual need not be between members of a group. Two people can recreate the flower communion by thoughtfully arranging a shared bouquet while contemplating humanity's uniqueness. Through the flower communion, people come together to share something of themselves. They leave with a token from the gathering and with the spirit of communion.
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Flower Communion
Through the passage of time, flowers of all types have gained meaning and their significance has ranged from the simple to the profound. A single rose can impart love, a bunch of daisies can show friendship, and a mixed bouquet can express shared sorrow. In the context of a flower communion, however, flowers of all kinds become symbols of community, diversity, and shared esteem. The ritual involved in the flower communion is basic, but the symbolism runs deep. And yet, it can be a part of many different types of celebrations, to commemorate a birthday or season, or be a celebration in and of itself. A flower communion can take place in the height of summer, when flowers are at their richest and most colorful, or even in the autumn, winter, or spring.
In its simplest form, the flower communion is an exchange of flowers. Each member of a gathering brings a single stem with a blossom. The flower may have some significance to the bearer, being a favorite or something from their personal garden. As you arrive to the function, you place your flower in a communal vase, signifying a joining. When every flower has been placed, an individual or the entire group can arrange the diverse blossoms into a bouquet. Once the arrangement is complete, the host of the gathering may feel compelled to say a blessing or a few words about how each flower represents a single individual. No two are alike, as no two people are alike, yet all are able to come together to form a beautiful bouquet. The bouquet formed at any flower communion is unique, and would not be the same without the contribution of each person involved.
At the end of the ritual, each participant is invited to take home a different flower to show their willingness to walk with their fellows. But a flower ritual need not be between members of a group. Two people can recreate the flower communion by thoughtfully arranging a shared bouquet while contemplating humanity's uniqueness. Through the flower communion, people come together to share something of themselves. They leave with a token from the gathering and with the spirit of communion.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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How to Make Good Decisions
Especially the Really Important Ones
----------------------------------------------------
– By Craig Lock
Life is full of decisions; we make hundreds of them every day. Most are automatic and minor ones. However, occasionally we are compelled to make vitally important decisions about major life-goals. These decisions are often practical or ethical ones. For example, we occasionally have to take major decisions like choosing a marriage partner (assuming they'll take you, that is), choosing to leave a partner in marriage, or decisions about what to do with your life.
* Hints In Decision Making *
A positive attitude to life helps make major decision making far easier and less stressful. Hëre are some general hints on decision making (although it's one of my weakest areas); but I'm trying hard to improve...
1. Get rid of your mental blocks.
2. Give up the notion that there is only one 'right solution' to the problem/dilemma you are confronting.
3. Don't fear making a mistake.
4. View your problems as a normal part of life (is that possible?). Every problem requiring a decision is an "opportunïty in disguise."
5. See yourself not as an indecisive person; but rather someone who sometimes behaves indecisively...that's a rather kind way of putting it.
6. Develop your intuition and logic, but listen to what your heart says (gut feeling).
7. Stop and think before you act. Stop yourself doing the first thing you think of. That's me for sure!
8. Be specific.
9. Know what your goals and your values are, the principles of your existence, before taking a major life decision. Ask yourself, if the ideal outcome is in alignment with your values.
10. Write down all the positive and negative factors for and against taking a particular course of action. American diplomat Benjamin Franklin did it in two columns when confronted with major decisions.
11. Think how the decision will benefit YOU first. Do what you and not what other people really want.
12. Try to think calmly and rationally (very difficult for me).
13 ("lucky"). Do your homework and get all the facts before you make the decision.
14. Get opinions and feedback from others you trust; but don't let them make the decision for you.
15. Establish priorities and "soul search" (for a "soulmate"). Ask yourself what the critical factors are. What is the sïngle most important consideration?
16. Trust your impulses, your "gut-feelings." Use your intuition through meditation, this is "God, the Universe" "speaking" back to us through all the "accumulated wisdom" of the world.
17. Don't take your decision too seriously; nothing is that important, no matter how much it appears like that to you. Ask yourself how much it will really matter in one, five or ten years time. Remember, no decision is irreversible, if you find out some way down the track that you've taken the wrong course. But some decisions are pretty important.
18. Look for OPPORTUNITÏES in any decision. Each "mistake" is an opportunïty to learn. I've launched into a writing "career" from a "mistake" coming to the other side of the world. A problem became a great opportunïty to do something I'd nevër ever thought of doing (is it the "winds of fate," "the unseen hand of God," perhaps guiding me in a conscious decision?). If you are making mistakes, you are not learning and growing. So say to yourself, "it doesn't really matter," or "so what"...then "get into this world."
19. Accept total responsibility for your decisions. Responsibility is not BLAME - so don't blame others for putting yourself in this predicament. This attitude helps to relieve your anger or resentment and gives one peace of mind.
20. Change course if your strategy is not working - the quality of your life is at stake. My mistake is that I persist on a chosen course for far too long at times, like writing! Learn when to correct your direction. "If you don't change direction, you'll end up where you're heading."
Bear in mind that pilots are off course on their flight-path 90% of the time... but they still arrive at their destination. When driving you are also continually making little corrections; so there's hope for me yet.
21. Be prepared to take a few risks in life. Look out for opportunïties. Every successful business or venture started out with an idea which was a risk. Nothing is infallible. The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is your key to allowing yourself to take risks. Security is a state of mind. It's not having things, it's HANDLING things.
and finally,
22. Look ahead to the future in a spirit of hope and optimism - the past is already gone. See the path ahead as an adventure into the unknown and a time for challenge with many new opportunïties. Every problem requiring a decision is an "opportunïty in disguise."
It's a matter of making correct small daily decisions, which are our "stepping-stones" on the road to success
I love the following quotation...
"The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is the gift, that is why this moment is called the present."
- Deepak Chopra
May all your decisions guide you towards a prosperous and happy tomorrow May all your moments be full of joy and the rich promise of the future.
About the Author:
Craig Lock has written extensively on the subject of self help. Craig is a writer, who believes in encouraging and helping others to find their talents and gifts, to strive for and accomplish their dreams in life, whatever they may be. He truly believes people can overcome obstacles, rise to any occasion, and accomplish their "impossible" dream with enough faith and commitment. You can find out more about Craig by visiting him on the web at http://www.craiglock.com
----------------------------------------------------
– By Craig Lock
Life is full of decisions; we make hundreds of them every day. Most are automatic and minor ones. However, occasionally we are compelled to make vitally important decisions about major life-goals. These decisions are often practical or ethical ones. For example, we occasionally have to take major decisions like choosing a marriage partner (assuming they'll take you, that is), choosing to leave a partner in marriage, or decisions about what to do with your life.
* Hints In Decision Making *
A positive attitude to life helps make major decision making far easier and less stressful. Hëre are some general hints on decision making (although it's one of my weakest areas); but I'm trying hard to improve...
1. Get rid of your mental blocks.
2. Give up the notion that there is only one 'right solution' to the problem/dilemma you are confronting.
3. Don't fear making a mistake.
4. View your problems as a normal part of life (is that possible?). Every problem requiring a decision is an "opportunïty in disguise."
5. See yourself not as an indecisive person; but rather someone who sometimes behaves indecisively...that's a rather kind way of putting it.
6. Develop your intuition and logic, but listen to what your heart says (gut feeling).
7. Stop and think before you act. Stop yourself doing the first thing you think of. That's me for sure!
8. Be specific.
9. Know what your goals and your values are, the principles of your existence, before taking a major life decision. Ask yourself, if the ideal outcome is in alignment with your values.
10. Write down all the positive and negative factors for and against taking a particular course of action. American diplomat Benjamin Franklin did it in two columns when confronted with major decisions.
11. Think how the decision will benefit YOU first. Do what you and not what other people really want.
12. Try to think calmly and rationally (very difficult for me).
13 ("lucky"). Do your homework and get all the facts before you make the decision.
14. Get opinions and feedback from others you trust; but don't let them make the decision for you.
15. Establish priorities and "soul search" (for a "soulmate"). Ask yourself what the critical factors are. What is the sïngle most important consideration?
16. Trust your impulses, your "gut-feelings." Use your intuition through meditation, this is "God, the Universe" "speaking" back to us through all the "accumulated wisdom" of the world.
17. Don't take your decision too seriously; nothing is that important, no matter how much it appears like that to you. Ask yourself how much it will really matter in one, five or ten years time. Remember, no decision is irreversible, if you find out some way down the track that you've taken the wrong course. But some decisions are pretty important.
18. Look for OPPORTUNITÏES in any decision. Each "mistake" is an opportunïty to learn. I've launched into a writing "career" from a "mistake" coming to the other side of the world. A problem became a great opportunïty to do something I'd nevër ever thought of doing (is it the "winds of fate," "the unseen hand of God," perhaps guiding me in a conscious decision?). If you are making mistakes, you are not learning and growing. So say to yourself, "it doesn't really matter," or "so what"...then "get into this world."
19. Accept total responsibility for your decisions. Responsibility is not BLAME - so don't blame others for putting yourself in this predicament. This attitude helps to relieve your anger or resentment and gives one peace of mind.
20. Change course if your strategy is not working - the quality of your life is at stake. My mistake is that I persist on a chosen course for far too long at times, like writing! Learn when to correct your direction. "If you don't change direction, you'll end up where you're heading."
Bear in mind that pilots are off course on their flight-path 90% of the time... but they still arrive at their destination. When driving you are also continually making little corrections; so there's hope for me yet.
21. Be prepared to take a few risks in life. Look out for opportunïties. Every successful business or venture started out with an idea which was a risk. Nothing is infallible. The knowledge that you can handle anything that comes your way is your key to allowing yourself to take risks. Security is a state of mind. It's not having things, it's HANDLING things.
and finally,
22. Look ahead to the future in a spirit of hope and optimism - the past is already gone. See the path ahead as an adventure into the unknown and a time for challenge with many new opportunïties. Every problem requiring a decision is an "opportunïty in disguise."
It's a matter of making correct small daily decisions, which are our "stepping-stones" on the road to success
I love the following quotation...
"The past is history, the future is a mystery, and this moment is the gift, that is why this moment is called the present."
- Deepak Chopra
May all your decisions guide you towards a prosperous and happy tomorrow May all your moments be full of joy and the rich promise of the future.
About the Author:
Craig Lock has written extensively on the subject of self help. Craig is a writer, who believes in encouraging and helping others to find their talents and gifts, to strive for and accomplish their dreams in life, whatever they may be. He truly believes people can overcome obstacles, rise to any occasion, and accomplish their "impossible" dream with enough faith and commitment. You can find out more about Craig by visiting him on the web at http://www.craiglock.com
IT TAKES PERSISTENCE TO REACH YOUR GOAL.
-----------------------------------------------
"Keep trying" is the rule that must be followed if you want to be successful at anything.
Your success will always be connected with your actions. Just keep moving towards your goal. You'll make mistakes along the way but don't ever quit. You may even have to hang on after others have let go.
Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that's necessary to reach your goal.
In the end, the only people who fail are those that do not try. All great achievements takes time.
©2005 by Max Steingart
"Keep trying" is the rule that must be followed if you want to be successful at anything.
Your success will always be connected with your actions. Just keep moving towards your goal. You'll make mistakes along the way but don't ever quit. You may even have to hang on after others have let go.
Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that's necessary to reach your goal.
In the end, the only people who fail are those that do not try. All great achievements takes time.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, August 15, 2005
Focusing On The Best You
------------------------------------------------------
Comparing Yourself To Others
Each of us has been blessed with unique qualities. No one else has lived through precisely the same circumstances, possesses exactly the same qualities, or thinks just the same thoughts. We love, appreciate, and hold dear vastly different things. Because of this, it is nearly impossible to justly compare oneself to others and yet so many people stake their happiness on how they fare when measured against a neighbor, a coworker, a sibling, or Hollywood star. It is easy to think that if you had her eyes, his house, her job, or his money, that you'd be truly happy. Your value as a person has little to do with what you look like or what you possess and comparing yourself to someone else denies your own wonderful gifts and talents. Everyone has worth, but the source of that worth is individual. Learning to stop comparing yourself to others begins with accepting your worth, because your own acceptance is the most important.
Regularly assessing your worth in terms of other people's gifts, be they talent, money, looks, or material wealth, can lead to dissatisfaction, even when you're on top of your game. It's important to remember that you are you and will always be you, not someone else. Your individuality is something to take pride in. When you get the urge to compare yourself to someone else, meditate on the fact that you are lovable, capable, and special the way you are. Instead of focusing on traits you don't possess, and others do, or vice versa, concentrate on what you yourself have. You may be a great painter, very funny, or physically fit. Or you may be exceptionally organized, a capable parent, or profoundly patient. Usually, when we compare ourselves to others, we come out feeling devalued. In noting the positive differences both in yourself and the other party, you appreciate and foster distinctiveness.
The gifts which you have been given can be used for the benefit of everyone you come into contact with. Realizing and embracing such a concept enables you to focus on bringing out the best in yourself, so that you can celebrate your own achievements as well as those of others.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Comparing Yourself To Others
Each of us has been blessed with unique qualities. No one else has lived through precisely the same circumstances, possesses exactly the same qualities, or thinks just the same thoughts. We love, appreciate, and hold dear vastly different things. Because of this, it is nearly impossible to justly compare oneself to others and yet so many people stake their happiness on how they fare when measured against a neighbor, a coworker, a sibling, or Hollywood star. It is easy to think that if you had her eyes, his house, her job, or his money, that you'd be truly happy. Your value as a person has little to do with what you look like or what you possess and comparing yourself to someone else denies your own wonderful gifts and talents. Everyone has worth, but the source of that worth is individual. Learning to stop comparing yourself to others begins with accepting your worth, because your own acceptance is the most important.
Regularly assessing your worth in terms of other people's gifts, be they talent, money, looks, or material wealth, can lead to dissatisfaction, even when you're on top of your game. It's important to remember that you are you and will always be you, not someone else. Your individuality is something to take pride in. When you get the urge to compare yourself to someone else, meditate on the fact that you are lovable, capable, and special the way you are. Instead of focusing on traits you don't possess, and others do, or vice versa, concentrate on what you yourself have. You may be a great painter, very funny, or physically fit. Or you may be exceptionally organized, a capable parent, or profoundly patient. Usually, when we compare ourselves to others, we come out feeling devalued. In noting the positive differences both in yourself and the other party, you appreciate and foster distinctiveness.
The gifts which you have been given can be used for the benefit of everyone you come into contact with. Realizing and embracing such a concept enables you to focus on bringing out the best in yourself, so that you can celebrate your own achievements as well as those of others.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Attitude, After All, Is Everything
---------------------------------------------------
- Author Unknown
Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of
reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business...he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing
that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'BULLETS!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead'."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
- Author Unknown
- Author Unknown
Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation. Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of
reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business...he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing
that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live." "Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. Jerry continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'BULLETS!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead'."
Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
- Author Unknown
LIFE IN ABUNDANCE COMES ONLY THROUGH GREAT LOVE
--------------------------------------------------
There is no force more potent than love. Take away love and your world is a tomb. Your life echoes emptiness without love. With it, your life will vibrate with warmth and meaning. Even during hardship, love will shine through.
As you look back upon the events in your life you will find that the moments that stand out, the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love.
If you have it, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter what else you have.
Therefore, search for love. Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.
Love is the most important ingredient to your success.
©2005 by Max Steingart
There is no force more potent than love. Take away love and your world is a tomb. Your life echoes emptiness without love. With it, your life will vibrate with warmth and meaning. Even during hardship, love will shine through.
As you look back upon the events in your life you will find that the moments that stand out, the moments when you have really lived, are the moments when you have done things in a spirit of love.
If you have it, you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter what else you have.
Therefore, search for love. Once you have learned to love, you will have learned to live.
Love is the most important ingredient to your success.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, August 12, 2005
Reservoir Of Strength
---------------------------------------------------
The Third Chakra
When individuals experience difficult times, they often find that they possess a previously undiscovered reservoir of strength. In ancient Vedic texts, the third, or Manipura chakra (when healthy) is the seat of that strength, bolstering courage and determination in times of stress and uncertainty. This chakra radiates from the base of the sternum, governing our emotions, will, and ego. When balanced, it blesses one with a profound drive to succeed, authority, integrity, and self-respect. It is active, rather than passive, and helps in the achievement of tasks both great and small. The Manipura chakra may be visualized as a bright, cheerful yellow and is associated with the sunflower and amber.
Because of its connection to the ego, when the third chakra is in a depleted state, it is common to experience feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and rejection; depression and lethargy; and intense worry. Too much energy focused in the area leads to the desire to exert inappropriate control over one's environment. A well-developed Manipura chakra empowers you to grow in positive ways and inspires you to act on your desires. It is possible to exert a balancing influence over the chakra by bringing fire into your life in the form of candles or hearth fires, wearing yellow clothing, and doing exercises that strengthen the muscles of the abdomen and teach you to breath deeply using the diaphragm. You can stimulate an under-active third chakra by burning cinnamon or carnation incense, using peppermint or lemon essential oils and Ginkgo biloba or milk thistle, and exposing the chakra to tiger-eye. The simplest and most potent method of opening and energizing the chakra is relaxing your emotional center. Laugh and cry more often, let yourself be more sensitive, and embrace your raw emotions.
Living with a repressed Manipura chakra is like existing automatically, without vitality. Its qualities can be the cause of overwork and excessive perfectionism, but this chakra is more often the seat of free will, goals, personal power, and decisiveness. When nurtured, it can lead you to new heights of spirituality and balance in all aspects of your life.
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The Third Chakra
When individuals experience difficult times, they often find that they possess a previously undiscovered reservoir of strength. In ancient Vedic texts, the third, or Manipura chakra (when healthy) is the seat of that strength, bolstering courage and determination in times of stress and uncertainty. This chakra radiates from the base of the sternum, governing our emotions, will, and ego. When balanced, it blesses one with a profound drive to succeed, authority, integrity, and self-respect. It is active, rather than passive, and helps in the achievement of tasks both great and small. The Manipura chakra may be visualized as a bright, cheerful yellow and is associated with the sunflower and amber.
Because of its connection to the ego, when the third chakra is in a depleted state, it is common to experience feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and rejection; depression and lethargy; and intense worry. Too much energy focused in the area leads to the desire to exert inappropriate control over one's environment. A well-developed Manipura chakra empowers you to grow in positive ways and inspires you to act on your desires. It is possible to exert a balancing influence over the chakra by bringing fire into your life in the form of candles or hearth fires, wearing yellow clothing, and doing exercises that strengthen the muscles of the abdomen and teach you to breath deeply using the diaphragm. You can stimulate an under-active third chakra by burning cinnamon or carnation incense, using peppermint or lemon essential oils and Ginkgo biloba or milk thistle, and exposing the chakra to tiger-eye. The simplest and most potent method of opening and energizing the chakra is relaxing your emotional center. Laugh and cry more often, let yourself be more sensitive, and embrace your raw emotions.
Living with a repressed Manipura chakra is like existing automatically, without vitality. Its qualities can be the cause of overwork and excessive perfectionism, but this chakra is more often the seat of free will, goals, personal power, and decisiveness. When nurtured, it can lead you to new heights of spirituality and balance in all aspects of your life.
What do you think?
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Celebrating Time Alone:
Stories of Splendid Solitude
------------------------------------------------
- By Lionel Fisher
Cynthia Meier describes her second marriage, which ended when she was 32, as “four years of wedded bliss, one year of severe struggling.” And for three years after the divorce she “hung on like a pit bull,” says the 45-year-old operating room nurse, trying to retrieve the relationship with her physician ex-husband.
“I was desperate,” says Meier. “I felt I’d be nothing without him.”
Her first marriage to an “extremely liberal yuppie,” when both of them were 21, lasted half as long. The two men in her life, though poles apart in their professional and political orientations--the first, a left-wing social activist; the second, an ultraconservative cardiovascular surgeon--were predictably similar in what drew her to them, says Meier.
“I’ve always been attracted to high-powered men--strong, opinionated, extroverted, egocentric dynamos who stirred things up, brought excitement to my life, made me think, hey, that’s who I am as well.
“When I was married, I made each of my husband’s politics my own, as radically different as they were. I wound up giving my complete self to both of them, surrendering my entire individuality. I took up each one’s entire persona--lock, stöck, and barrel--and gladly, because I didn’t feel I had one of my own.”
Single and in therapy these past 13 years, Meier still has one major issue to resolve but isn’t certain she ever will. She has a great job, she says, along with the trust and respect of her peers, a strong relationship with her parents, close connection to her siblings, and numerous friends--but no ability to forge an emotional bond with a man. She’d like to, she makes it clear, but not at the cost of surrendering her identity once more.
“Living alone,” says Meier, “I’ve come to realize all those years spent with others were spent living an unauthentic life. It’s taken me a long time to recognize who I am and to admire and value that person. I’m not going to give her up now--not for anyone, not ever again--because she’s a wonderful, very real person worth hanging onto at all costs.”
Meier has made her home a place of comfort and refuge where she always feels safe and in total control. Everything in her lakeside apartment, she stresses--the furniture, fabrics, colors, artwork, accouterments and decor, all reflect her decorative tastes, her style, her artistic sensibilities.
“I gave them all away when I catered totally to someone else’s needs, someone else’s preferences, someone else’s desires--to the total exclusion of my own. I’m taking them back,” she says triumphantly. “They’re all for me now.”
She feels particularly “hugged and nurtured” in her bedroom, Meier says.
“When I moved into my new home after the divorce, I told myself I was going to do this right!” She bought an antique four-poster bed “the exact kind I’ve known I wanted since I was eight.”
She bought a new mattress and box springs, a state-of-the-art electric heating pad, a luxurious down comforter, a gaggle of down pillows, 200-count cotton sheets, an ideal night stand and a perfect reading lamp.
“When I was done,” Meier says, “I had a bedroom. Much more than a place to sleep, though, it’s a sanctuary in every sense of the word--a warm, comforting, serene place I’m always happy to go, where I’m perfectly content to be alone.
“In fact,” she adds, “I’m beginning to wonder whether any man will be able to make me as happy and content in that bed as I’ve learned to make myself.”
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This article is excerpted from Lionel Fisher's new book, "Celebrating Time Alone: Stories of Splendid Solitude" (Beyond Words Publishing, Spring 2001). Fisher also writes a self-syndicated column, "SINGLES SCENE: The Art of Being Alone." Send him your thoughts on magnificent aloneness at beachauthor@lycos.com
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- By Lionel Fisher
Cynthia Meier describes her second marriage, which ended when she was 32, as “four years of wedded bliss, one year of severe struggling.” And for three years after the divorce she “hung on like a pit bull,” says the 45-year-old operating room nurse, trying to retrieve the relationship with her physician ex-husband.
“I was desperate,” says Meier. “I felt I’d be nothing without him.”
Her first marriage to an “extremely liberal yuppie,” when both of them were 21, lasted half as long. The two men in her life, though poles apart in their professional and political orientations--the first, a left-wing social activist; the second, an ultraconservative cardiovascular surgeon--were predictably similar in what drew her to them, says Meier.
“I’ve always been attracted to high-powered men--strong, opinionated, extroverted, egocentric dynamos who stirred things up, brought excitement to my life, made me think, hey, that’s who I am as well.
“When I was married, I made each of my husband’s politics my own, as radically different as they were. I wound up giving my complete self to both of them, surrendering my entire individuality. I took up each one’s entire persona--lock, stöck, and barrel--and gladly, because I didn’t feel I had one of my own.”
Single and in therapy these past 13 years, Meier still has one major issue to resolve but isn’t certain she ever will. She has a great job, she says, along with the trust and respect of her peers, a strong relationship with her parents, close connection to her siblings, and numerous friends--but no ability to forge an emotional bond with a man. She’d like to, she makes it clear, but not at the cost of surrendering her identity once more.
“Living alone,” says Meier, “I’ve come to realize all those years spent with others were spent living an unauthentic life. It’s taken me a long time to recognize who I am and to admire and value that person. I’m not going to give her up now--not for anyone, not ever again--because she’s a wonderful, very real person worth hanging onto at all costs.”
Meier has made her home a place of comfort and refuge where she always feels safe and in total control. Everything in her lakeside apartment, she stresses--the furniture, fabrics, colors, artwork, accouterments and decor, all reflect her decorative tastes, her style, her artistic sensibilities.
“I gave them all away when I catered totally to someone else’s needs, someone else’s preferences, someone else’s desires--to the total exclusion of my own. I’m taking them back,” she says triumphantly. “They’re all for me now.”
She feels particularly “hugged and nurtured” in her bedroom, Meier says.
“When I moved into my new home after the divorce, I told myself I was going to do this right!” She bought an antique four-poster bed “the exact kind I’ve known I wanted since I was eight.”
She bought a new mattress and box springs, a state-of-the-art electric heating pad, a luxurious down comforter, a gaggle of down pillows, 200-count cotton sheets, an ideal night stand and a perfect reading lamp.
“When I was done,” Meier says, “I had a bedroom. Much more than a place to sleep, though, it’s a sanctuary in every sense of the word--a warm, comforting, serene place I’m always happy to go, where I’m perfectly content to be alone.
“In fact,” she adds, “I’m beginning to wonder whether any man will be able to make me as happy and content in that bed as I’ve learned to make myself.”
--------
This article is excerpted from Lionel Fisher's new book, "Celebrating Time Alone: Stories of Splendid Solitude" (Beyond Words Publishing, Spring 2001). Fisher also writes a self-syndicated column, "SINGLES SCENE: The Art of Being Alone." Send him your thoughts on magnificent aloneness at beachauthor@lycos.com
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