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10 Steps To Making Change Easier
1. Begin by making small changes or break up large-scale changes into more manageable increments. This can make you feel better about handling the changes you are about to make while making you more comfortable with change in general.
2. Mentally link changes to established daily rituals. This can make changes like taking on a new habit, starting a new job, or adapting to a new home happen much more smoothly. For example, if you want to begin meditating at home, try weaving it into your morning routine.
3. Going with the flow can help you accept change instead of resisting it. If you stay flexible, you will be able to ride out change without too much turbulence.
4. When a change feels most stressful, relief can often be found in finding the good that it brings. An illness, a financial loss, or a broken relationship can seem like the end of the world, yet they also can be blessings in disguise.
5. Remember that all change involves a degree of learning. If you find change particularly stressful, try to keep in mind that after this period of transformation has passed, you will be a wiser person for it.
6. Remember that upheaval and confusion are often natural parts of change. While we can anticipate certain elements that a change might bring, it is impossible to know everything that will happen in advance. Be prepared for unexpected surprises, and the winds of change won't easily knock you over.
7. Don't feel like you have to cope with changing circumstances or the stress of making a change on your own. Talk about what's going on for you with a friend or write about it in a journal. Sharing your feelings can give you a sense of relief while helping you find the strength to carry on.
8. Give yourself time to accept any changes that you face. And as change happens, recognize that you may need time to adjust to your new situation. Allow yourself a period of time to reconcile your feelings. This can make big changes feel less extreme.
9. No matter how large or difficult a change is, you will eventually adapt to these new circumstances. Remember that regardless of how great the change, all the new that it brings will eventually weave itself into the right places in your life.
10. If you're trying to change a pattern of behavior or navigate your way through a life change, don't assume that it has to be easy. Wanting to cry or being moody during a period of change is natural. Then again, don't assume that making a change needs to be hard. Sometimes, changes are meant to be that easy.
What do you think?
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Aptitude Testing
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– By Rick Sheridan
Aptitudes are special abilities for learning to do certain kinds of things easily and quickly. Some examples of aptitudes are finger dexterity, musical ability, color perception, spatial visualization, inductive reasoning and memory of numbers.
Aptitude testing can help you find out what kinds of skills and natural abilities that you have, and why certain occupations or educational paths may be more appropriate for you. These measured traits are highly stable over long periods of time. Unlike an IQ score, your aptitude test results from a pattern showing your various strengths and weaknesses. Two people can have identical IQ scores but very different aptitude patterns.
The Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation, Inc. is an independent, nonprofit organization in several U.S. cities that offers a variety of aptitude tests. The Foundation is the outgrowth of a testing program begun in 1922 by Mr. Johnson O'Connor for the General Electric Company. In the 1920's, being a meter assembler was considered to be a good career, but the training process was relatively expensive for GE. O'Connor came up with a simple test to see who would be a good meter assemblers after training.
This particular test involved a ceramic block with 100 holes in it, some nails, a pair of tweezers, and a stopwatch. Anyone who could insert more than a certain number of brads in the holes within two minutes usually turned out to be a good meter assembler, and anyone who could insert just slightly fewer did not - regardless of the amount of training. The program was so successful that the families and friends of the employees asked to be tested. In 1939, it was incorporated as an independent, nonprofit scientific and educational organization that now operates in 11 U.S. cities. The Johnson O'Connor Foundation now offers a series of some 20 tests, taken over two days, that reveals your strengths and interests. The Foundation then compares your test profile with the aptitudes needed in hundreds of different careers.
A typical person only knows their aptitudes, strengths and weaknesses in a general way, from experience. "We find that most people know more about their automobiles than they know about themselves," said Orrin Spellman, a spokesperson for Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation. The Foundation's testing program is based on the belief that people are happiest doing what they do best in that every occupation requires a unique combination of talents. "We aim for a square peg in a square hole," said Spellman. Detectives and inspectors, for instance, must be good at noticing details. Stockbrokers and salespeople must remember numbers easily. Architects and cartoonists naturally remember designs. Each of these aptitudes is obviously different. The Foundation has found that a person can be a good at one, but lousy at another.
Herë are several of the aptitude tests that the Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation
offers, along with a brief description of each:
* Analytical reasoning - the ability to organize concepts or to arrange ideas in logical sequence.
* Inductive reasoning - the ability to reason from the particular to the general, to förm a logical conclusion from scattered facts, and to see the "big picture."
* Structural visualization - the ability to visualize the structure of three-dimensional forms.
* Graphoria - clerical ability, or adeptness at paperwork and dealing with figures and symbols.
* Color perception - the ability to distinguish colors.
* Numerical aptitudes - the ability to use numerical information in solving problems and to perform arithmetic operations.
* Music aptitudes - the ability to remember rhythms and tone sequences, and to distinguish between fine differences in pitch.
* Memory aptitudes - the ability to remember designs and numbers, learn new words, and spot changes or irregularities.
* Finger dexterity - a quickness and accuracy in delicate finger work.
* Tweezer dexterity - the ability to work with small tools.
* Vocabulary - this test measures your knowledge of English and mathematics vocabulary.
As you can see, these attitudes could be valuable to selecting your educational program or career selection. For example, inductive reasoning – the ability to generalize and jump to a fast conclusion – is important for lawyers, researchers, diagnostic physicians, writers and critics. Structural visualization is essential for engineering, architecture, medicine, etc. Graphoria – also known as clerical ability – is an essential aptitude in accounting, banking, secretarial work, and one indicator of how well a person will do in school.
The Johnson O'Connor Foundation does not recommend a specific career or educational focus, but gives you an inventory of your aptitudes and examples of the types of work that you might want to consider, based on your combination of measured aptitudes. Most of the information for this column came from the Foundation’s Web site. For more information, go to: http://members.aol.com/JOCRF19/index.html
About the Author:
Rick Sheridan runs BookSpirit.com, an online bookstore with many personal development and self-help topics. His news and feature articles have been published by The Chicago Sun-Times, United Press International, etc. More information at: http://www.bookspirit.com
– By Rick Sheridan
Aptitudes are special abilities for learning to do certain kinds of things easily and quickly. Some examples of aptitudes are finger dexterity, musical ability, color perception, spatial visualization, inductive reasoning and memory of numbers.
Aptitude testing can help you find out what kinds of skills and natural abilities that you have, and why certain occupations or educational paths may be more appropriate for you. These measured traits are highly stable over long periods of time. Unlike an IQ score, your aptitude test results from a pattern showing your various strengths and weaknesses. Two people can have identical IQ scores but very different aptitude patterns.
The Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation, Inc. is an independent, nonprofit organization in several U.S. cities that offers a variety of aptitude tests. The Foundation is the outgrowth of a testing program begun in 1922 by Mr. Johnson O'Connor for the General Electric Company. In the 1920's, being a meter assembler was considered to be a good career, but the training process was relatively expensive for GE. O'Connor came up with a simple test to see who would be a good meter assemblers after training.
This particular test involved a ceramic block with 100 holes in it, some nails, a pair of tweezers, and a stopwatch. Anyone who could insert more than a certain number of brads in the holes within two minutes usually turned out to be a good meter assembler, and anyone who could insert just slightly fewer did not - regardless of the amount of training. The program was so successful that the families and friends of the employees asked to be tested. In 1939, it was incorporated as an independent, nonprofit scientific and educational organization that now operates in 11 U.S. cities. The Johnson O'Connor Foundation now offers a series of some 20 tests, taken over two days, that reveals your strengths and interests. The Foundation then compares your test profile with the aptitudes needed in hundreds of different careers.
A typical person only knows their aptitudes, strengths and weaknesses in a general way, from experience. "We find that most people know more about their automobiles than they know about themselves," said Orrin Spellman, a spokesperson for Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation. The Foundation's testing program is based on the belief that people are happiest doing what they do best in that every occupation requires a unique combination of talents. "We aim for a square peg in a square hole," said Spellman. Detectives and inspectors, for instance, must be good at noticing details. Stockbrokers and salespeople must remember numbers easily. Architects and cartoonists naturally remember designs. Each of these aptitudes is obviously different. The Foundation has found that a person can be a good at one, but lousy at another.
Herë are several of the aptitude tests that the Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation
offers, along with a brief description of each:
* Analytical reasoning - the ability to organize concepts or to arrange ideas in logical sequence.
* Inductive reasoning - the ability to reason from the particular to the general, to förm a logical conclusion from scattered facts, and to see the "big picture."
* Structural visualization - the ability to visualize the structure of three-dimensional forms.
* Graphoria - clerical ability, or adeptness at paperwork and dealing with figures and symbols.
* Color perception - the ability to distinguish colors.
* Numerical aptitudes - the ability to use numerical information in solving problems and to perform arithmetic operations.
* Music aptitudes - the ability to remember rhythms and tone sequences, and to distinguish between fine differences in pitch.
* Memory aptitudes - the ability to remember designs and numbers, learn new words, and spot changes or irregularities.
* Finger dexterity - a quickness and accuracy in delicate finger work.
* Tweezer dexterity - the ability to work with small tools.
* Vocabulary - this test measures your knowledge of English and mathematics vocabulary.
As you can see, these attitudes could be valuable to selecting your educational program or career selection. For example, inductive reasoning – the ability to generalize and jump to a fast conclusion – is important for lawyers, researchers, diagnostic physicians, writers and critics. Structural visualization is essential for engineering, architecture, medicine, etc. Graphoria – also known as clerical ability – is an essential aptitude in accounting, banking, secretarial work, and one indicator of how well a person will do in school.
The Johnson O'Connor Foundation does not recommend a specific career or educational focus, but gives you an inventory of your aptitudes and examples of the types of work that you might want to consider, based on your combination of measured aptitudes. Most of the information for this column came from the Foundation’s Web site. For more information, go to: http://members.aol.com/JOCRF19/index.html
About the Author:
Rick Sheridan runs BookSpirit.com, an online bookstore with many personal development and self-help topics. His news and feature articles have been published by The Chicago Sun-Times, United Press International, etc. More information at: http://www.bookspirit.com
YOU CAN, IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN
-------------------------------------------------
Don't be afraid of what life has to offer you. When you believe that life is worth living, your belief will help create the fact.
The barrier between you and success is not something that exists in the real world. It's simply composed of doubts about your ability. Your only limits to your realization of tomorrow will be your doubts of today.
Success is a state of mind. If you want to be successful, start thinking of yourself as being successful.
What you believe yourself to be, you are.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Don't be afraid of what life has to offer you. When you believe that life is worth living, your belief will help create the fact.
The barrier between you and success is not something that exists in the real world. It's simply composed of doubts about your ability. Your only limits to your realization of tomorrow will be your doubts of today.
Success is a state of mind. If you want to be successful, start thinking of yourself as being successful.
What you believe yourself to be, you are.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
Spoken Imprint
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The Human Voice
Whether listening to the low muted murmur of a confidential whisper or the proud declarative boom coming from behind a mike on the podium, there are few sounds more evocative than the human voice. Each human being's voice has a unique tone that is all its own. Carrying its own signature traits and idiosyncrasies, no two voices are alike.
Yet so often, we neglect to hear these resonances under which our spoken words are floated over. A lover's voice vibrating with tenderness can feel like a warm caress touching the body; words spoken over an angry voice can seem like bullets hitting one's auric field; and a voice tinged with laughter can't help but fill us with good feelings. And then there are the voices of other people we encounter. The radio announcer's soothing baritone that accompanies us during a long ride, the cheerful chatter of children playing on the street, and the dulcet hum of a yogi in mid-mantra are just a few of the voices we may be blessed to hear on any given day. Taken together, they're like a wondrous symphony of mellifluous notes.
Every time we use our voices, we send our energetic imprint out into the universe and to the people around us. And, like the words that we use when we speak to people, our voices can communicate what we are feeling, what we desire, and what we really mean. There is no hiding our truth that can be felt through the sound of our voices. Timidity, desire, pain, and love can all be expressed and felt through the human voice. Our voices also have the power to heal, to hurt, to love, and to transform others. When we are aware of the impact our voices can have, we can consciously choose what we are expressing. Remember that what you communicate when you speak goes beyond words. Take responsibility for the power your voice has to impact the space and the people around you, and let your voice be a sound that creates harmony and compassion in the universe.
What do you think?
The Human Voice
Whether listening to the low muted murmur of a confidential whisper or the proud declarative boom coming from behind a mike on the podium, there are few sounds more evocative than the human voice. Each human being's voice has a unique tone that is all its own. Carrying its own signature traits and idiosyncrasies, no two voices are alike.
Yet so often, we neglect to hear these resonances under which our spoken words are floated over. A lover's voice vibrating with tenderness can feel like a warm caress touching the body; words spoken over an angry voice can seem like bullets hitting one's auric field; and a voice tinged with laughter can't help but fill us with good feelings. And then there are the voices of other people we encounter. The radio announcer's soothing baritone that accompanies us during a long ride, the cheerful chatter of children playing on the street, and the dulcet hum of a yogi in mid-mantra are just a few of the voices we may be blessed to hear on any given day. Taken together, they're like a wondrous symphony of mellifluous notes.
Every time we use our voices, we send our energetic imprint out into the universe and to the people around us. And, like the words that we use when we speak to people, our voices can communicate what we are feeling, what we desire, and what we really mean. There is no hiding our truth that can be felt through the sound of our voices. Timidity, desire, pain, and love can all be expressed and felt through the human voice. Our voices also have the power to heal, to hurt, to love, and to transform others. When we are aware of the impact our voices can have, we can consciously choose what we are expressing. Remember that what you communicate when you speak goes beyond words. Take responsibility for the power your voice has to impact the space and the people around you, and let your voice be a sound that creates harmony and compassion in the universe.
What do you think?
Are You Too Busy At Work?
– By Deborah Brown, Career Coach
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Are you doing too much at work? Do you find that your hours at work are causing you to eat more, exercise less, and watch your life pass by? Do you spend more time in the office than you do at home? Do you wish there was a better way?
Working all the time prevents you from growing in other areas of your life. As a coach, I see single people that desperately want to get married but cannot find time to date. I see overweight people who cannot find time to go to the gym, or cook a healthy meal. I see men and women who cannot find time to spend with their kids because they have an important project that has to be completed at work. They tell me if only they were not so busy, they could have these things. Even still, they are unsure where to begin.
Yes, we need to work. (We have bills to pay!) But does it have to take away from our quality of life in the process?
So, What Can You Do? Follow These Easy Steps:
1. Acknowledge That You Are Doing Too Much.
Pretending that you do not have too much to do, or you have it all handled, will only make the situation worse. You cannot address the problem and make it better until you admit what it is. Yes, this takes courage. You can do it!
2. Recognize What Working All The Time Costs You.
Working a lot can leave you feeling overwhelmed, tired, and unbalanced. In this mode, life is happening without you. The things you are responsible for in your life are important and I would nevër suggest that they should be ignored. But the person missing from this equation is you. Don't you think you deserve more?
3. Let Go Of The Past.
The reason you are staying in a situation that does not really work for you is your past telling you that you cannot do better. Poor decisions and perceived failures gave you a reason not to trust yourself anymore. Plus, excuses work in your life. They give you a reason not to go out and try (and possibly make another mistake) again. Let it go so you can create something better for yourself.
4. Discover That You Have Options.
You don't have to be unhappy at work no matter how shaky the economy is. Right nöw, there may be a 9-to-5 job that is in dire need of your skills. (It is possible!) Or, you may be able to work something out with your employer (or yourself) so you can have it all. You don't know how it will turn out until you try. Trying will show you that you are not stuck and that you do have choices.
5. Find Ways To Take Care Of Yourself.
You body is an engine and can only work properly if it's maintained. If you are working all the time, then you are not spending enough quality time on you. What are some things that you used to enjoy doing in your spare time? Make time for those things. Rediscover your interests. If you do not, the only one you hurt is you.
6. Take The First Step.
Change starts with the first step. And it is up to you to take it. How about leaving on time one day this week? Or cooking a healthy meal tonight? Can you go the gym and stay for 15 minutes? The step you take does not have to be a big one. What matters is you are taking a step in a positive direction.
7. Reward Yourself For A Job Well Done.
It is not easy shifting yourself from being a person who takes care of others, to a person who takes care of you. Be proud of yourself! Not everyone looks at their life and puts actions in place so it can be better. Congratulations for being that person.
So, what will it be? You only have one life to live so it might as well be a life you love.
About the Author:
Deborah Brown is a noted Career and Mentor Coach that helps Executives and Professionals find jobs they love, excel at the ones they have, start their own businesses, and find time for themselves. She also hosts the "Life After The Layoff" telephone coaching groups that help laid off executives use the power of a group to find their next jobs quickly. To learn more, visit http://www.surpassyourdreams.com, send an e-mail to info@surpassyourdreams.com or call (516) 432-2440.
----------------------------------------------------
Are you doing too much at work? Do you find that your hours at work are causing you to eat more, exercise less, and watch your life pass by? Do you spend more time in the office than you do at home? Do you wish there was a better way?
Working all the time prevents you from growing in other areas of your life. As a coach, I see single people that desperately want to get married but cannot find time to date. I see overweight people who cannot find time to go to the gym, or cook a healthy meal. I see men and women who cannot find time to spend with their kids because they have an important project that has to be completed at work. They tell me if only they were not so busy, they could have these things. Even still, they are unsure where to begin.
Yes, we need to work. (We have bills to pay!) But does it have to take away from our quality of life in the process?
So, What Can You Do? Follow These Easy Steps:
1. Acknowledge That You Are Doing Too Much.
Pretending that you do not have too much to do, or you have it all handled, will only make the situation worse. You cannot address the problem and make it better until you admit what it is. Yes, this takes courage. You can do it!
2. Recognize What Working All The Time Costs You.
Working a lot can leave you feeling overwhelmed, tired, and unbalanced. In this mode, life is happening without you. The things you are responsible for in your life are important and I would nevër suggest that they should be ignored. But the person missing from this equation is you. Don't you think you deserve more?
3. Let Go Of The Past.
The reason you are staying in a situation that does not really work for you is your past telling you that you cannot do better. Poor decisions and perceived failures gave you a reason not to trust yourself anymore. Plus, excuses work in your life. They give you a reason not to go out and try (and possibly make another mistake) again. Let it go so you can create something better for yourself.
4. Discover That You Have Options.
You don't have to be unhappy at work no matter how shaky the economy is. Right nöw, there may be a 9-to-5 job that is in dire need of your skills. (It is possible!) Or, you may be able to work something out with your employer (or yourself) so you can have it all. You don't know how it will turn out until you try. Trying will show you that you are not stuck and that you do have choices.
5. Find Ways To Take Care Of Yourself.
You body is an engine and can only work properly if it's maintained. If you are working all the time, then you are not spending enough quality time on you. What are some things that you used to enjoy doing in your spare time? Make time for those things. Rediscover your interests. If you do not, the only one you hurt is you.
6. Take The First Step.
Change starts with the first step. And it is up to you to take it. How about leaving on time one day this week? Or cooking a healthy meal tonight? Can you go the gym and stay for 15 minutes? The step you take does not have to be a big one. What matters is you are taking a step in a positive direction.
7. Reward Yourself For A Job Well Done.
It is not easy shifting yourself from being a person who takes care of others, to a person who takes care of you. Be proud of yourself! Not everyone looks at their life and puts actions in place so it can be better. Congratulations for being that person.
So, what will it be? You only have one life to live so it might as well be a life you love.
About the Author:
Deborah Brown is a noted Career and Mentor Coach that helps Executives and Professionals find jobs they love, excel at the ones they have, start their own businesses, and find time for themselves. She also hosts the "Life After The Layoff" telephone coaching groups that help laid off executives use the power of a group to find their next jobs quickly. To learn more, visit http://www.surpassyourdreams.com, send an e-mail to info@surpassyourdreams.com or call (516) 432-2440.
YOU MUST ACT ON YOUR DREAMS
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You have to make your own opportunities. Your future isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of your choice. It's not something that you wait for, it's something that you pursue.
Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Opportunity sometimes comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.
Start today, right where you are. Distant fields will always look greener. Yet, golden opportunities are all around you.
You can live your dreams if you pursue them.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You have to make your own opportunities. Your future isn't a matter of chance, it's a matter of your choice. It's not something that you wait for, it's something that you pursue.
Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Opportunity sometimes comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat.
Start today, right where you are. Distant fields will always look greener. Yet, golden opportunities are all around you.
You can live your dreams if you pursue them.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Lotus Of Love
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The Fourth Chakra
The human body, according to ancient Vedic texts, is the seat of a network of cooperating energy fields also known as chakras. At the very center of these fields, unifying and filtering them, lies the heart chakra. This chakra is located over the chest and is often called the heart lotus because its influence radiates outward like the petals of a flower.
The heart chakra is believed by many to be at the core of your emotional being. When balanced, it can be a source of love, confidence, creativity, and inspiration. Discord within the heart chakra can affect all your energy centers, because the fourth chakra is a gate between the upper and lower chakras. The heart chakra can be visualized as intersecting triangles that are smoky green. It is associated with holly and poppy flowers, malachite and emerald crystals, and the element of air. The heart chakra gives us the ability to love, trust, and feel deep compassion for others. A balanced heart opens the mind to the radiating warmth of the universe and makes profound relationships possible. But when imbalanced, those same qualities can become twisted, leading us to feel hate, fear, or jealousy. Blockages in the fourth chakra can manifest as immune system and heart maladies because of the chakra's association with the physical heart, the circulatory system, and the blood.
There are numerous means of energizing and balancing this chakra. Try sitting up with your back straight, and breathe deeply to center yourself. Rapidly tap your heart center, located in the middle of your chest, with your fingertips. Gradually increase and then decrease the intensity of your tapping over a three minute period. Jasmine, lavender, and marjoram scents can exert a balancing effect over this chakra. You can also influence your heart chakra by loving yourself and learning to laugh freely. And while existing without the positive influence of the fourth chakra can leave you feeling disconnected, isolated, and filled with unexpressed emotions, too much heart chakra influence can lead to restlessness, dreaminess, and aimless wandering. The heart chakra is the point of new beginnings. Nurture it, and you will find that contentment will emerge from all aspects of your being.
What do you think?
The Fourth Chakra
The human body, according to ancient Vedic texts, is the seat of a network of cooperating energy fields also known as chakras. At the very center of these fields, unifying and filtering them, lies the heart chakra. This chakra is located over the chest and is often called the heart lotus because its influence radiates outward like the petals of a flower.
The heart chakra is believed by many to be at the core of your emotional being. When balanced, it can be a source of love, confidence, creativity, and inspiration. Discord within the heart chakra can affect all your energy centers, because the fourth chakra is a gate between the upper and lower chakras. The heart chakra can be visualized as intersecting triangles that are smoky green. It is associated with holly and poppy flowers, malachite and emerald crystals, and the element of air. The heart chakra gives us the ability to love, trust, and feel deep compassion for others. A balanced heart opens the mind to the radiating warmth of the universe and makes profound relationships possible. But when imbalanced, those same qualities can become twisted, leading us to feel hate, fear, or jealousy. Blockages in the fourth chakra can manifest as immune system and heart maladies because of the chakra's association with the physical heart, the circulatory system, and the blood.
There are numerous means of energizing and balancing this chakra. Try sitting up with your back straight, and breathe deeply to center yourself. Rapidly tap your heart center, located in the middle of your chest, with your fingertips. Gradually increase and then decrease the intensity of your tapping over a three minute period. Jasmine, lavender, and marjoram scents can exert a balancing effect over this chakra. You can also influence your heart chakra by loving yourself and learning to laugh freely. And while existing without the positive influence of the fourth chakra can leave you feeling disconnected, isolated, and filled with unexpressed emotions, too much heart chakra influence can lead to restlessness, dreaminess, and aimless wandering. The heart chakra is the point of new beginnings. Nurture it, and you will find that contentment will emerge from all aspects of your being.
What do you think?
The "Doer's" Guide To "Being"
----------------------------------------------------
– By Jamee Tenzer
Nothing is working, what should I do? Have you ever had that unsettling thought? What happens when you wake up and nothing seems to be working in your life? There is no immediate crisis, but you feel “out-of-step.” Nöw, because you are a “doer,” you will begin to take a mental inventory of your relationships, job, family and personal life. You will be checking to see what has changed. What has caused the life that was fine yesterday, to look unappealing today? Your mind is racing, your pulse is rising and you begin to make a list. “This will solve the problem,” you tell yourself in between fits of scribbles. “If I take action, and do more, the noise in my mind will stop. If I make a list and then chëck off the items one by one, I will be satisfied. I will be happy.”
As a Life Coach, I am a great believer in taking action to move forward in life. In fact, I would say that action is one of the most powerful tools that human beings have to change their experience of life. Action is the root of progress. There is nothing more powerful than an intention rooted in a personal desire, combined with actions taken in line with that intention. However, there are times when action is not only a tool in our toolbox that we use to achieve our goals. Action becomes the goal in and of itself. In that case, we are not taking actions. Instead, actions are taking us where we don’t want to go. Too much action for the sake of “doing,” can result in fatigue and disillusionment.
The problem that we are having may not be in the realm of doing; the problem may be the microscope through which we view our lives. Are we focusing too closely on each detail? Perhaps the lens is a little dusty. Why does a life that once looked vibrant and colorful, become gray? Is there something wrong hëre, or are our “doer” instincts robbing us of the simple neutrality and rejuvenation that could be found through surrender to these gray moments in life?
In general, “doers” are not comfortable with a lot of gray in their lives. In fact, by our nature we may see gray as boring, static, listless and dull. We like to have a plan, a list of things to do and a well-worn appointment book. We have learned to thrive on the “doing” of life and get high on the accomplishment of our goals. Sure, we know how to throw out little pearls like “trust the process” and “smell the roses,” but we’re not taking any chances. We’re hedging our bets by getting out there and making things happen through our ability to do, do, do.
And let’s face it, our ability to take action moves the human race along. It took a group of “doers” to fight for Civil Rights and it will take even more “doers” to solve the problems this world is facing nöw. But what happens when all we know is the realm of “doing” and then one day, “doing” stops working? We have become so used to the “doer” mode that we no longer remember that we have options. When faced with challenges or emptiness we forget that we can take a breath and a break. Or, if we do stop for even a moment, the stillness makes us anxious. We are afraid we will be stuck there forever. We “do” more. Why do we not trust the process of life to help facilitate change?
If you ask for advice from a non-“doer,” they may suggest that you simply “be.” This sounds to the “doer” like such nonsense. They may be smiling at you and nodding in agreement, but inside they are incredulous. “How do I ‘be’? In fact, can’t I ‘do’ a little something while I ‘be’?” How long does one have to “be” before getting back to the business of “doing?” This creates a kind of circular thinking that I have found to be ineffective and downright upsetting. After working with many clients who struggle with this dichotomy of “doing” and “being,” I have learned something. When they are in the gray zone, they can only see through the filter of “doing.” They need a reminder in language that a “doer” can understand, that can help them out of the mucky “do.” For someone who is most comfortable in the realm of action (even if it means spinning their wheels), “being” is doing something. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest skills the “doer” will ever learn. And, it is one of the most powerful skills if employed at the right time. And nöw, these are some ways that I help my “doer” clients to take a breath, and “be.”
1. Take an “Action Vacation.” Tell yourself that you are not going to work on your weïght, your job, your relationship or your life for one whole week. When your mind wants you to work, work, work, you tell it that you are on an “Action Vacation” and that you will get back to it next week.
2. Tell one person how you are feeling. A spouse or friend is preferable, but I have found that waiters, bus drivers and car wash attendants all have the facility to listen. You may get many reactions. People are uncomfortable with discomfort, and they may try to fix your problem. Their reaction doesn’t matter -- what is important is that you express the feelings and don’t feel the need to explain why.
3. Take a walk. Somehow physical activity has a way of quieting the mind. I like to listen to music when I walk, because this allows me to shut out the incessant chatter of my “doer” brain, but complete silence may be your preference.
4. Take a long hot, bubbly bäth. This is the oldest trick in the book, and it works.
5. Write down everything that is going on in your head -- fears, anxieties, questïons and thoughts. Read it over and over until it means nothing or until you are rolling around on the floor laughing at yourself.
6. Read a self-help book. Some people call them “shelf help,” because we buy them and leave them on the shelf. Go to your bookshelf and choose one. Or go to your local library and find something that makes you feel good when reading the book jacket.
7. Do something you nevër allow yourself to do. Watch TV in the middle of the day, skip your exercise class and have an ice cream. Take a nap with dirty dishes in the sink.
8. Visualize. Lay down in a quiet place and relax every muscle in your body one by one and then begin to create pictures in your head. Create what you intend to have in life. Maybe you want to visualize your own peace of mind, or perhaps you want to visualize turning your problem or issue over to a higher power. Visualizing is very powerful even if the images are not clear in your mind. There are some wonderful books about visualization that can take you step by step through the process of
visualization. One of my favorites is “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain
9. Open a book of prayers, daily thoughts or meditations and read the page that you happen to find first. There are three books that I use for this purpose: “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach; “A Course in Miracles” and “Illuminata” by Marianne Williamson. Each approaches life from a different and profound perspective.
When you are not in the gray zone, add to this list and delete anything that doesn’t work for you. Over time you will create your own personal “doer’s guide to being.” When you begin to feel the impulse to look for solutions -- things to “do,” tell your mind that you appreciate its input, but that you have chosen to “do” something else right nöw and let that voice fall away. Remember, it takes practice to shift from “doing” to “being” at will. But even a few moments of “being” will rejuvenate the “doer” in you.
About the Author:
Jamee Tenzer, Founder of Life Works Coaching, is a professional coach who specializes in working with women who are committed to success and fulfillment at wörk and at höme. Prior to becoming a coach, she worked as a Producer in the Television Industry. Visit Life Works Coaching at http://www.lifeworks4ucoaching.com. Copyright 2005.
– By Jamee Tenzer
Nothing is working, what should I do? Have you ever had that unsettling thought? What happens when you wake up and nothing seems to be working in your life? There is no immediate crisis, but you feel “out-of-step.” Nöw, because you are a “doer,” you will begin to take a mental inventory of your relationships, job, family and personal life. You will be checking to see what has changed. What has caused the life that was fine yesterday, to look unappealing today? Your mind is racing, your pulse is rising and you begin to make a list. “This will solve the problem,” you tell yourself in between fits of scribbles. “If I take action, and do more, the noise in my mind will stop. If I make a list and then chëck off the items one by one, I will be satisfied. I will be happy.”
As a Life Coach, I am a great believer in taking action to move forward in life. In fact, I would say that action is one of the most powerful tools that human beings have to change their experience of life. Action is the root of progress. There is nothing more powerful than an intention rooted in a personal desire, combined with actions taken in line with that intention. However, there are times when action is not only a tool in our toolbox that we use to achieve our goals. Action becomes the goal in and of itself. In that case, we are not taking actions. Instead, actions are taking us where we don’t want to go. Too much action for the sake of “doing,” can result in fatigue and disillusionment.
The problem that we are having may not be in the realm of doing; the problem may be the microscope through which we view our lives. Are we focusing too closely on each detail? Perhaps the lens is a little dusty. Why does a life that once looked vibrant and colorful, become gray? Is there something wrong hëre, or are our “doer” instincts robbing us of the simple neutrality and rejuvenation that could be found through surrender to these gray moments in life?
In general, “doers” are not comfortable with a lot of gray in their lives. In fact, by our nature we may see gray as boring, static, listless and dull. We like to have a plan, a list of things to do and a well-worn appointment book. We have learned to thrive on the “doing” of life and get high on the accomplishment of our goals. Sure, we know how to throw out little pearls like “trust the process” and “smell the roses,” but we’re not taking any chances. We’re hedging our bets by getting out there and making things happen through our ability to do, do, do.
And let’s face it, our ability to take action moves the human race along. It took a group of “doers” to fight for Civil Rights and it will take even more “doers” to solve the problems this world is facing nöw. But what happens when all we know is the realm of “doing” and then one day, “doing” stops working? We have become so used to the “doer” mode that we no longer remember that we have options. When faced with challenges or emptiness we forget that we can take a breath and a break. Or, if we do stop for even a moment, the stillness makes us anxious. We are afraid we will be stuck there forever. We “do” more. Why do we not trust the process of life to help facilitate change?
If you ask for advice from a non-“doer,” they may suggest that you simply “be.” This sounds to the “doer” like such nonsense. They may be smiling at you and nodding in agreement, but inside they are incredulous. “How do I ‘be’? In fact, can’t I ‘do’ a little something while I ‘be’?” How long does one have to “be” before getting back to the business of “doing?” This creates a kind of circular thinking that I have found to be ineffective and downright upsetting. After working with many clients who struggle with this dichotomy of “doing” and “being,” I have learned something. When they are in the gray zone, they can only see through the filter of “doing.” They need a reminder in language that a “doer” can understand, that can help them out of the mucky “do.” For someone who is most comfortable in the realm of action (even if it means spinning their wheels), “being” is doing something. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest skills the “doer” will ever learn. And, it is one of the most powerful skills if employed at the right time. And nöw, these are some ways that I help my “doer” clients to take a breath, and “be.”
1. Take an “Action Vacation.” Tell yourself that you are not going to work on your weïght, your job, your relationship or your life for one whole week. When your mind wants you to work, work, work, you tell it that you are on an “Action Vacation” and that you will get back to it next week.
2. Tell one person how you are feeling. A spouse or friend is preferable, but I have found that waiters, bus drivers and car wash attendants all have the facility to listen. You may get many reactions. People are uncomfortable with discomfort, and they may try to fix your problem. Their reaction doesn’t matter -- what is important is that you express the feelings and don’t feel the need to explain why.
3. Take a walk. Somehow physical activity has a way of quieting the mind. I like to listen to music when I walk, because this allows me to shut out the incessant chatter of my “doer” brain, but complete silence may be your preference.
4. Take a long hot, bubbly bäth. This is the oldest trick in the book, and it works.
5. Write down everything that is going on in your head -- fears, anxieties, questïons and thoughts. Read it over and over until it means nothing or until you are rolling around on the floor laughing at yourself.
6. Read a self-help book. Some people call them “shelf help,” because we buy them and leave them on the shelf. Go to your bookshelf and choose one. Or go to your local library and find something that makes you feel good when reading the book jacket.
7. Do something you nevër allow yourself to do. Watch TV in the middle of the day, skip your exercise class and have an ice cream. Take a nap with dirty dishes in the sink.
8. Visualize. Lay down in a quiet place and relax every muscle in your body one by one and then begin to create pictures in your head. Create what you intend to have in life. Maybe you want to visualize your own peace of mind, or perhaps you want to visualize turning your problem or issue over to a higher power. Visualizing is very powerful even if the images are not clear in your mind. There are some wonderful books about visualization that can take you step by step through the process of
visualization. One of my favorites is “Creative Visualization” by Shakti Gawain
9. Open a book of prayers, daily thoughts or meditations and read the page that you happen to find first. There are three books that I use for this purpose: “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach; “A Course in Miracles” and “Illuminata” by Marianne Williamson. Each approaches life from a different and profound perspective.
When you are not in the gray zone, add to this list and delete anything that doesn’t work for you. Over time you will create your own personal “doer’s guide to being.” When you begin to feel the impulse to look for solutions -- things to “do,” tell your mind that you appreciate its input, but that you have chosen to “do” something else right nöw and let that voice fall away. Remember, it takes practice to shift from “doing” to “being” at will. But even a few moments of “being” will rejuvenate the “doer” in you.
About the Author:
Jamee Tenzer, Founder of Life Works Coaching, is a professional coach who specializes in working with women who are committed to success and fulfillment at wörk and at höme. Prior to becoming a coach, she worked as a Producer in the Television Industry. Visit Life Works Coaching at http://www.lifeworks4ucoaching.com. Copyright 2005.
YOU CAN MAKE IT IF YOU TRY
------------------------------------------------
You can't be beaten at anything, until you quit in your own mind. There is no failure except in your not trying. There is no defeat except from within.
You have no really insurmountable barrier except your own inherent weakness of purpose. The odds are with you if you keep on trying.
Consider yourself on a very long journey. Sustain your personal vision of success until you achieve it. In the end, you can only fail if you don't try.
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to is. Success is a road that's paved with perseverance.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You can't be beaten at anything, until you quit in your own mind. There is no failure except in your not trying. There is no defeat except from within.
You have no really insurmountable barrier except your own inherent weakness of purpose. The odds are with you if you keep on trying.
Consider yourself on a very long journey. Sustain your personal vision of success until you achieve it. In the end, you can only fail if you don't try.
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to is. Success is a road that's paved with perseverance.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, November 07, 2005
Fresh And Unfixed
-------------------------------------------------
There Is Only Now
It can be easy for us to walk through the world and our lives without really being present. While dwelling on the past and living for the future are common pastimes, it is physically impossible to live anywhere but the present moment. We cannot step out our front door and take a left turn to May of last year any more than we can take a right turn to December 2010. Nevertheless, we can easily miss the future we are waiting for as it becomes the now we are too busy to pay attention to. We then spend the rest of our time playing "catch up" to the moment that we just let pass by. During moments like these, it is important to remember that there is only Now.
In order to feel more at home in the present moment, it is important to try to stay aware, open, and receptive. Being in the present moment requires our full attention so that we are fully awake to experience it. When we are fully present, our minds do not wander. We are focused on what is going on right now, rather than thinking about what just happened or worrying about what is going to happen next. Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.
When we begin to corral our attention into the present moment, it can be almost overwhelming to be here. There is a state of stillness that has to happen that can take some getting used to, and the mind chatter that so often gets us into our heads and out of the present moment doesn't have as much to do. We may feel a lack of control because we aren't busy planning our next move, assessing our current situation, or anticipating the future. Instead, being present requires that we be flexible, creative, attentive, and spontaneous. Each present moment is completely new, and nothing like it has happened or will ever happen again. As you move through your day, remember to stay present in each moment. In doing so, you will live your life without having to wait for the future or yearn for the past. Life happens to us when we happen to life in the Now.
What do you think?
There Is Only Now
It can be easy for us to walk through the world and our lives without really being present. While dwelling on the past and living for the future are common pastimes, it is physically impossible to live anywhere but the present moment. We cannot step out our front door and take a left turn to May of last year any more than we can take a right turn to December 2010. Nevertheless, we can easily miss the future we are waiting for as it becomes the now we are too busy to pay attention to. We then spend the rest of our time playing "catch up" to the moment that we just let pass by. During moments like these, it is important to remember that there is only Now.
In order to feel more at home in the present moment, it is important to try to stay aware, open, and receptive. Being in the present moment requires our full attention so that we are fully awake to experience it. When we are fully present, our minds do not wander. We are focused on what is going on right now, rather than thinking about what just happened or worrying about what is going to happen next. Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.
When we begin to corral our attention into the present moment, it can be almost overwhelming to be here. There is a state of stillness that has to happen that can take some getting used to, and the mind chatter that so often gets us into our heads and out of the present moment doesn't have as much to do. We may feel a lack of control because we aren't busy planning our next move, assessing our current situation, or anticipating the future. Instead, being present requires that we be flexible, creative, attentive, and spontaneous. Each present moment is completely new, and nothing like it has happened or will ever happen again. As you move through your day, remember to stay present in each moment. In doing so, you will live your life without having to wait for the future or yearn for the past. Life happens to us when we happen to life in the Now.
What do you think?
The Journey
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-By Unknown Author
If you don't keep walking you will never get where your going. Don't wait for someone to stop and carry you, you may weigh them down and you both could fall. When you think the walk is too steep, press on, for there is no mountain that can't be climbed. When you see someone fall along the way, lend your hand. If someone lends you a hand, reach for it, to help you get back up again.
Hand in hand, together- each one helping the other can make this journey as precious as the place that we are all striving for.
- Unknown Author
-By Unknown Author
If you don't keep walking you will never get where your going. Don't wait for someone to stop and carry you, you may weigh them down and you both could fall. When you think the walk is too steep, press on, for there is no mountain that can't be climbed. When you see someone fall along the way, lend your hand. If someone lends you a hand, reach for it, to help you get back up again.
Hand in hand, together- each one helping the other can make this journey as precious as the place that we are all striving for.
- Unknown Author
FIND THE GOOD SIDE TO EVERY SITUATION
-------------------------------------------------
You cannot have the success you seek without some failures too. Any experience can be transformed into something of value. Everything depends on the way you look at things.
What appear to be stumbling blocks and defeat before you can be stepping stones to victory if you remain determined.
In all of your adversities lies the seeds of equivalent advantages. In every defeat there is a lesson showing you how to win the next time.
View your problems as opportunities. When it's dark enough you can see the stars.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You cannot have the success you seek without some failures too. Any experience can be transformed into something of value. Everything depends on the way you look at things.
What appear to be stumbling blocks and defeat before you can be stepping stones to victory if you remain determined.
In all of your adversities lies the seeds of equivalent advantages. In every defeat there is a lesson showing you how to win the next time.
View your problems as opportunities. When it's dark enough you can see the stars.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, November 04, 2005
Bathing In Hospitality
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Foot Cleansing Rituals
In most contemporary cultures, where there aren't many opportunities to go barefoot, few acts are as intimate as touching the feet of another person. Our feet are our primary means of connecting with the earth, yet they usually remain confined in shoes or sandals. Cleansing the feet of a friend or loved one is a sign of trust, closeness, and openness. Cleansing your own feet can be a relaxing interlude that can help you feel refreshed. Foot cleansing also has become a popular stress reliever and beautification ritual.
Ritual foot cleansing has a long and intricate history involving many methods and motivations. It has been used as an initiation, a welcoming gesture, a purification ceremony, and as a means to demonstrate humbleness. Cleansing ceremonies involving the feet are performed in many different parts of the world. In many cases, the meaning of the ritual was twofold. It was a way of cleaning a guest's feet before entering a home and a sign of hospitality. In Buddhism, clean water mixed with sandalwood to clean the feet is one of the eight typical offerings. By cleansing the feet of an enlightened being, it is possible to cleanse one's own karma.
You can perform a foot washing ritual on yourself or a companion as a ceremonial activity or as a way to unwind. You may want to start by trying a traditional ritual, or you might feel comfortable inventing your own. Try mixing elements like traditional flower infused water with something more modern like a sugar scrub. Take the time to set your intention for the foot washing ritual. Perhaps you would like to cleanse away old energies in your life so you may step freely toward your future. Or, maybe soaking your feet in warm water will help you relax after a long day at work. Remember to thank your feet for their support. Whether done with pleasure or as an offering, a foot cleansing ritual is a sacred act that honors the divine in you and others.
What do you think?
Foot Cleansing Rituals
In most contemporary cultures, where there aren't many opportunities to go barefoot, few acts are as intimate as touching the feet of another person. Our feet are our primary means of connecting with the earth, yet they usually remain confined in shoes or sandals. Cleansing the feet of a friend or loved one is a sign of trust, closeness, and openness. Cleansing your own feet can be a relaxing interlude that can help you feel refreshed. Foot cleansing also has become a popular stress reliever and beautification ritual.
Ritual foot cleansing has a long and intricate history involving many methods and motivations. It has been used as an initiation, a welcoming gesture, a purification ceremony, and as a means to demonstrate humbleness. Cleansing ceremonies involving the feet are performed in many different parts of the world. In many cases, the meaning of the ritual was twofold. It was a way of cleaning a guest's feet before entering a home and a sign of hospitality. In Buddhism, clean water mixed with sandalwood to clean the feet is one of the eight typical offerings. By cleansing the feet of an enlightened being, it is possible to cleanse one's own karma.
You can perform a foot washing ritual on yourself or a companion as a ceremonial activity or as a way to unwind. You may want to start by trying a traditional ritual, or you might feel comfortable inventing your own. Try mixing elements like traditional flower infused water with something more modern like a sugar scrub. Take the time to set your intention for the foot washing ritual. Perhaps you would like to cleanse away old energies in your life so you may step freely toward your future. Or, maybe soaking your feet in warm water will help you relax after a long day at work. Remember to thank your feet for their support. Whether done with pleasure or as an offering, a foot cleansing ritual is a sacred act that honors the divine in you and others.
What do you think?
The Game of Life
---------------------------------------------------
- Karen Robertson
At 24, I had never flown in an airplane, but I had married, graduated from college and had a 2 year old son. As I was driving up Main Street in our college town, I noticed a travel agency and wondered what they did in there. Having lived my life in small towns under 2,000 populations, I had never been in a travel agency. So I stopped in and decided to play a pretending game.
"May I help you?" asked the girl behind the desk.
It was time for the game to begin. "Yes, I believe I'd like to go to Mexico City."
She brought out several brochures and price lists and opened them across the desk. I was shocked to find out that you could fly to Mexico City for less than $200. Why, I had imagined that it would cost thousands and thousands. What fun!! I gathered up the brochures and could hardly wait to show them to my husband. I spread them out across our dinner table just as the travel agent had done.
"Forget it, Karen," my husband responded. " I don't want to go to Mexico."
Dejected, I threw all the brochures away. The next day we were driving down town and I saw the travel agency again.
"Honey, stop the car! I want you to see how much fun it is to play the travel agency game and it doesn't cost anything."
He pulled the car to the curb and I eagerly lead the way inside the store. My own pretend travel agent greeted me with a smile and seemed ready to play the game again. I asked my husband where he'd like to go.
"Well, I guess I'd like to go to Hawaii. We have several college friends there."
"Great!" I said. "Looks like we'll need some information on Hawaii today."
An hour later, we exited the agency with two tickets for Hawaii, leaving in two days with transfers to every Island, and a return trip in two weeks. We rushed around taking our son to his grandparents, packing bags, and borrowing money from our credit union for expenses.
It was the best money lesson we ever learned. We paid the credit union back out of our check at $50/month. When the trip was paid for, we never stopped saving the money. Soon there was enough for a new freezer, twin beds for the kids, and so on. Every time we got a raise, we added more to the amount being taken from our check and put into the credit union.
Many trips, freezers, and beds later, we know that saving regularly puts a couple in the position of not having to rely on credit cards and loans. What started out as a game became the game of life for us.
About the Author:
Karen Robertson is an educator whose career spans over five decades. She has taught from elementary to university level. Her experiences as a Christian, wife, mother, teacher, Trauma Intervention Volunteer, freelance writer, certified clown, and Professional Life & Business Coach, which allows her to help others reach their big hairy audacious goals. She can be reached at kanwrite@verizon.net or www.giantstepsuccess.com
- Karen Robertson
At 24, I had never flown in an airplane, but I had married, graduated from college and had a 2 year old son. As I was driving up Main Street in our college town, I noticed a travel agency and wondered what they did in there. Having lived my life in small towns under 2,000 populations, I had never been in a travel agency. So I stopped in and decided to play a pretending game.
"May I help you?" asked the girl behind the desk.
It was time for the game to begin. "Yes, I believe I'd like to go to Mexico City."
She brought out several brochures and price lists and opened them across the desk. I was shocked to find out that you could fly to Mexico City for less than $200. Why, I had imagined that it would cost thousands and thousands. What fun!! I gathered up the brochures and could hardly wait to show them to my husband. I spread them out across our dinner table just as the travel agent had done.
"Forget it, Karen," my husband responded. " I don't want to go to Mexico."
Dejected, I threw all the brochures away. The next day we were driving down town and I saw the travel agency again.
"Honey, stop the car! I want you to see how much fun it is to play the travel agency game and it doesn't cost anything."
He pulled the car to the curb and I eagerly lead the way inside the store. My own pretend travel agent greeted me with a smile and seemed ready to play the game again. I asked my husband where he'd like to go.
"Well, I guess I'd like to go to Hawaii. We have several college friends there."
"Great!" I said. "Looks like we'll need some information on Hawaii today."
An hour later, we exited the agency with two tickets for Hawaii, leaving in two days with transfers to every Island, and a return trip in two weeks. We rushed around taking our son to his grandparents, packing bags, and borrowing money from our credit union for expenses.
It was the best money lesson we ever learned. We paid the credit union back out of our check at $50/month. When the trip was paid for, we never stopped saving the money. Soon there was enough for a new freezer, twin beds for the kids, and so on. Every time we got a raise, we added more to the amount being taken from our check and put into the credit union.
Many trips, freezers, and beds later, we know that saving regularly puts a couple in the position of not having to rely on credit cards and loans. What started out as a game became the game of life for us.
About the Author:
Karen Robertson is an educator whose career spans over five decades. She has taught from elementary to university level. Her experiences as a Christian, wife, mother, teacher, Trauma Intervention Volunteer, freelance writer, certified clown, and Professional Life & Business Coach, which allows her to help others reach their big hairy audacious goals. She can be reached at kanwrite@verizon.net or www.giantstepsuccess.com
YOU CANNOT WIN THE RACE UNLESS YOU RUN
--------------------------------------------------
You must take the first step to win any race. The first step will take some effort and maybe some pain. But after that, everything you have to do is real - life movement. Once you're moving you must keep moving.
Create a definite plan for carrying out your desires and begin at once, whether you're ready or not, to put your plan into action.
If you can get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed. You can only fail if you fail to start.
Winning starts with beginning.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You must take the first step to win any race. The first step will take some effort and maybe some pain. But after that, everything you have to do is real - life movement. Once you're moving you must keep moving.
Create a definite plan for carrying out your desires and begin at once, whether you're ready or not, to put your plan into action.
If you can get up the courage to begin, you have the courage to succeed. You can only fail if you fail to start.
Winning starts with beginning.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, November 03, 2005
A Liberating Goodbye
--------------------------------------------------
Cutting Cords
In every relationship, people are constantly exchanging energy that can become a chord connecting two people. This energetic cord forms just below the breastbone and can remain long after a relationship has ended. This unbroken cord may leave an open channel between you and another person, through which emotions and energy can continue to flow. If you are unaware that the chord exists, it is easy to feel the other person's emotions and mistakenly think that they are yours. Besides the fact that this can limit the amount of closure you can experience in a relationship, letting this cord remain intact can leave you with a continued sense of sadness while creating feelings of lethargy as your own energy is sapped from you. Cutting the cord can help you separate yourself from old baggage, unnecessary attachments, and release you from connections that are no longer serving you.
Finding and cutting unwanted cords is a simple, gentle process that is best done alone and when you are relaxed. It is important that you are strong in your intention to release the chord between you and someone else. To begin, breathe deeply and perform a simple centering meditation. When you are ready, visualize or sense the chords that are connecting you to other people. Run your fingers through the cords to separate them until you find the cord you wish to sever. There is no need to worry, because the chord you need to sever will feel just right. When you have found it, determine where the cut should be made and then visualize the cord being cleanly cut. If you need assistance, Archangel Michael can be called upon to help you with his sword. Afterwards, if you feel that cutting the chord has left spaces in your energy field, then visualize those spaces being filled with healing sunlight.
There may be times where cutting a cord can help free a relative or loved one to reach new stages of growth. You're not severing a relationship, but you are severing the chords that are no longer serving you both. At other times, a cord may simply refuse to be cut because it is still serving a higher purpose. It is also important to remember that cutting a cord with someone is not a replacement for doing your emotional work with people. It can, however, be an enactment of that work upon its completion. In any case, cutting a relationship cord should always be viewed as a positive and nurturing act. By cutting the cords that no longer need to be there, you are setting yourself and others free from the ties that bind.
What do you think?
Cutting Cords
In every relationship, people are constantly exchanging energy that can become a chord connecting two people. This energetic cord forms just below the breastbone and can remain long after a relationship has ended. This unbroken cord may leave an open channel between you and another person, through which emotions and energy can continue to flow. If you are unaware that the chord exists, it is easy to feel the other person's emotions and mistakenly think that they are yours. Besides the fact that this can limit the amount of closure you can experience in a relationship, letting this cord remain intact can leave you with a continued sense of sadness while creating feelings of lethargy as your own energy is sapped from you. Cutting the cord can help you separate yourself from old baggage, unnecessary attachments, and release you from connections that are no longer serving you.
Finding and cutting unwanted cords is a simple, gentle process that is best done alone and when you are relaxed. It is important that you are strong in your intention to release the chord between you and someone else. To begin, breathe deeply and perform a simple centering meditation. When you are ready, visualize or sense the chords that are connecting you to other people. Run your fingers through the cords to separate them until you find the cord you wish to sever. There is no need to worry, because the chord you need to sever will feel just right. When you have found it, determine where the cut should be made and then visualize the cord being cleanly cut. If you need assistance, Archangel Michael can be called upon to help you with his sword. Afterwards, if you feel that cutting the chord has left spaces in your energy field, then visualize those spaces being filled with healing sunlight.
There may be times where cutting a cord can help free a relative or loved one to reach new stages of growth. You're not severing a relationship, but you are severing the chords that are no longer serving you both. At other times, a cord may simply refuse to be cut because it is still serving a higher purpose. It is also important to remember that cutting a cord with someone is not a replacement for doing your emotional work with people. It can, however, be an enactment of that work upon its completion. In any case, cutting a relationship cord should always be viewed as a positive and nurturing act. By cutting the cords that no longer need to be there, you are setting yourself and others free from the ties that bind.
What do you think?
Be An Optimist At All Times
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- By Brian Tracy
Everyone wants to be physically healthy. You want to be mentally healthy as well. The true measure of “mental fitness” is how optimistic you are about yourself and your life.
In this newsletter, you learn how to control your thinking in very specific ways so that you feel terrific about yourself and your situation, no matter what happens.
Control Your Reactions and Responses
There are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.
Isolate the Incident
The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.
See Setbacks As Temporary Events
For example, if something you were counting on failed to materialize and you interpreted it to yourself as being an unfortunate event, but something that happens in the course of life and business, you would be reacting like an optimist. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees disappointments as being pervasive. That is, to him they are indications of a problem or shortcoming that pervades every area of life.
Don't Take Failure Personally
The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as resulting from external factors over which one has little control.
If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset, he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, “Oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.”
The pessimist on the other hand, has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate him.
Remain Calm and Objective
The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing personality is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The superior person has the ability to continue talking to himself in a positive and optimistic way, keeping his mind calm, clear and completely under control. The mature personality is more relaxed and aware and capable of interpreting events more realistically and less emotionally than is the immature personality. As a result, the mature person exerts a far greater sense of control and influence over his environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted.
Take The Long View
Look upon the inevitable setbacks that you face as being temporary, specific and external. View the negative situation as a single event that is not connected to other potential events and that is caused largely by external factors over which you can have little control. Simply refuse to see the event as being in any way permanent, pervasive or indicative of personal incompetence of inability.
Resolve to think like an optimist, no matter what happens. You may not be able to control events but you can control the way you react to them.
Action Exercises
Now, here are three actions you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, remind yourself continually that setbacks are only temporary, they will soon be past and nothing is as serious as you think it is.
Second, look upon each problem as a specific event, not connected to other events and not indicative of a pattern of any kind. Deal with it and get on with your life.
Third, recognize that when things go wrong, they are usually caused by a variety of external events. Say to yourself, “What can’t be cured must be endured,” and then get back to thinking about your goals.
- Brian Tracy
- By Brian Tracy
Everyone wants to be physically healthy. You want to be mentally healthy as well. The true measure of “mental fitness” is how optimistic you are about yourself and your life.
In this newsletter, you learn how to control your thinking in very specific ways so that you feel terrific about yourself and your situation, no matter what happens.
Control Your Reactions and Responses
There are three basic differences in the reactions of optimists and pessimists. The first difference is that the optimist sees a setback as temporary, while the pessimist sees it as permanent. The optimist sees an unfortunate event, such as an order that falls through or a sales call that fails, as a temporary event, something that is limited in time and that has no real impact on the future. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees negative events as permanent, as part of life and destiny.
Isolate the Incident
The second difference between the optimist and the pessimist is that the optimist sees difficulties as specific, while the pessimist sees them as pervasive. This means that when things go wrong for the optimist, he looks at the event as an isolated incident largely disconnected from other things that are going on in his life.
See Setbacks As Temporary Events
For example, if something you were counting on failed to materialize and you interpreted it to yourself as being an unfortunate event, but something that happens in the course of life and business, you would be reacting like an optimist. The pessimist, on the other hand, sees disappointments as being pervasive. That is, to him they are indications of a problem or shortcoming that pervades every area of life.
Don't Take Failure Personally
The third difference between optimists and pessimists is that optimists see events as external, while pessimists interpret events as personal. When things go wrong, the optimist will tend to see the setback as resulting from external factors over which one has little control.
If the optimist is cut off in traffic, for example, instead of getting angry or upset, he will simply downgrade the importance of the event by saying something like, “Oh, well, I guess that person is just having a bad day.”
The pessimist on the other hand, has a tendency to take everything personally. If the pessimist is cut off in traffic, he will react as though the other driver has deliberately acted to upset and frustrate him.
Remain Calm and Objective
The hallmark of the fully mature, fully functioning, self-actualizing personality is the ability to be objective and unemotional when caught up in the inevitable storms of daily life. The superior person has the ability to continue talking to himself in a positive and optimistic way, keeping his mind calm, clear and completely under control. The mature personality is more relaxed and aware and capable of interpreting events more realistically and less emotionally than is the immature personality. As a result, the mature person exerts a far greater sense of control and influence over his environment, and is far less likely to be angry, upset, or distracted.
Take The Long View
Look upon the inevitable setbacks that you face as being temporary, specific and external. View the negative situation as a single event that is not connected to other potential events and that is caused largely by external factors over which you can have little control. Simply refuse to see the event as being in any way permanent, pervasive or indicative of personal incompetence of inability.
Resolve to think like an optimist, no matter what happens. You may not be able to control events but you can control the way you react to them.
Action Exercises
Now, here are three actions you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, remind yourself continually that setbacks are only temporary, they will soon be past and nothing is as serious as you think it is.
Second, look upon each problem as a specific event, not connected to other events and not indicative of a pattern of any kind. Deal with it and get on with your life.
Third, recognize that when things go wrong, they are usually caused by a variety of external events. Say to yourself, “What can’t be cured must be endured,” and then get back to thinking about your goals.
- Brian Tracy
YOU CAN OPEN ANY DOOR WITH CONCENTRATION
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The first law of success is concentration. Bend all of your energies to one point, and go directly to that point, looking neither to the right nor the left. Concentration is the magic key that opens the door to accomplishment.
In time, you can become what you earnestly desire to be, if you set your face in the direction of the things you want and bring all your powers to bear towards its attainment.
When your physical and mental resources are focused, your power to solve problems multiplies tremendously. To do two things at once is to do neither. Success is the result of well directed energy.
Nothing can add more power to your life as much as concentrating all your energies
on a limited set of targets.
The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The first law of success is concentration. Bend all of your energies to one point, and go directly to that point, looking neither to the right nor the left. Concentration is the magic key that opens the door to accomplishment.
In time, you can become what you earnestly desire to be, if you set your face in the direction of the things you want and bring all your powers to bear towards its attainment.
When your physical and mental resources are focused, your power to solve problems multiplies tremendously. To do two things at once is to do neither. Success is the result of well directed energy.
Nothing can add more power to your life as much as concentrating all your energies
on a limited set of targets.
The sun's rays do not burn until brought to a focus.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Getting On Track
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Trains Are Like People
The rails that crisscross the countryside and cut through cities have long captured people's imaginations. Just the idea of taking a ride on a luxury train, an express commuter line, or a cargo train can evoke a sense of freedom, adventure, or romance. Trains are like people in that they must inevitably arrive at their destinations. They make scheduled and unscheduled stops along the way and move at their different speeds. Some trains can travel for hours and are mindful of only a single destination; other trains meander from busy stop to busy stop. The route and purpose of any train may change as the years go by.
Our lives stretch out in front and behind us like train tracks, and we are the train, its passengers, and the engineer. The way you choose to live your life and the goals you are working toward are the route and destinations you have chosen. Like a passenger riding a train, you have the choice to get on and off, find new routes, pick new places to visit, or just stop and enjoy the view for awhile. Perhaps you like to move quickly through life as if you were an express train. Or maybe, like a commuter passenger, you like taking the same routes over and over again. You may even want to stop just riding along and choose a different direction you'd like your life to take.
If you have examined the tracks of your life and are feeling unsatisfied, you may want to explore the changes you can make to find a more fulfilling path to follow. Perhaps you'd like to slow down a little bit more and take a windier path rather than just traveling down the straight and narrow. Or maybe, you'd like to experience your life more as an adventure rather than just a ride that gets you where you need to go. Changing your route can sometimes give you a chance to "get on the right track." You may even discover that the something new you've been waiting for is just around the bend.
What do you think?
Trains Are Like People
The rails that crisscross the countryside and cut through cities have long captured people's imaginations. Just the idea of taking a ride on a luxury train, an express commuter line, or a cargo train can evoke a sense of freedom, adventure, or romance. Trains are like people in that they must inevitably arrive at their destinations. They make scheduled and unscheduled stops along the way and move at their different speeds. Some trains can travel for hours and are mindful of only a single destination; other trains meander from busy stop to busy stop. The route and purpose of any train may change as the years go by.
Our lives stretch out in front and behind us like train tracks, and we are the train, its passengers, and the engineer. The way you choose to live your life and the goals you are working toward are the route and destinations you have chosen. Like a passenger riding a train, you have the choice to get on and off, find new routes, pick new places to visit, or just stop and enjoy the view for awhile. Perhaps you like to move quickly through life as if you were an express train. Or maybe, like a commuter passenger, you like taking the same routes over and over again. You may even want to stop just riding along and choose a different direction you'd like your life to take.
If you have examined the tracks of your life and are feeling unsatisfied, you may want to explore the changes you can make to find a more fulfilling path to follow. Perhaps you'd like to slow down a little bit more and take a windier path rather than just traveling down the straight and narrow. Or maybe, you'd like to experience your life more as an adventure rather than just a ride that gets you where you need to go. Changing your route can sometimes give you a chance to "get on the right track." You may even discover that the something new you've been waiting for is just around the bend.
What do you think?
5 Tips for Getting Your Life Back On Track
After Taking a Wrong Turn
----------------------------------------------------
– By Cari Vollmer
We've all experienced moments in our life when we hear ourselves say "YES" to a job, person or situation we know deep in our heart isn't right for us. And still we do it. As soon as "yes" leaves our lips, somewhere in us we hear a voice that screams, "NO! Don't do it!" But somehow another part of us kicks in and our mind overrules the wisdom of our body and we find ourselves on a path we nevër intended.
Sometimes these wrong turns can be detrimental to our wellbeing. They cause stress and put us in danger of losing ourselves indefinitely. Other times we immediately realize our "yes" has led to an "o-oh" and we decide right then and there to go back to the beginning and start again.
Either way, when you find yourself in a sticky situation, only you have the power to declare you took a wrong turn and only you can decide when it's time to get back on track. These tips may help.
Be honest with yourself. Admit, as quickly as possible, you made a choice that led you down the wrong path. Nothing will change until you personally acknowledge the decision you made isn't working for you. The sooner, the better. Be willing to take 100% responsibility for the choices you make for your life.
Plan an exit strategy. Once you've admitted to yourself you're on the wrong path, decide how you're going to get back on track. In some situations it may be necessary for you to stop what you're doing immediately. Most of the time, a fast exit may lead to even more stress and poor decision making. Take the time you need to get very clear on what it is you do want, and get back on track one step at a time.
Be gentle with yourself. Beating yourself up will only damage your self-esteem. Realize everyone takes wrong turns -- even the most successful individuals take several wrong turns before getting it right. Remember, life is ten percent how we make it and ninety percent how we take it.
Look for the lesson. There are no mistakes and there's always a lesson to be learned -- and even a blessing. What did taking a wrong turn teach you about yourself? Do you need to listen to your gut more and others less? Do you need to finally listen to your heart and follow its calling? Do you need to value yourself more? Do you need to redefine what success means to you?
Do better next time. Life is full of second chances. Be willing to take them! Let go of the past and commit to do whatever it takes to get back on the right track. The wisdom you've gained from taking a wrong turn will help you do better next time.
There's only one way to live life on your right track. Listen to your heart. It holds the secrët to your happiness and the key to your success.
About the Author:
Cari Vollmer is the creative founder of LifeOnTrack.com. LifeOnTrack.com’s inspirational e-zine, LivingOnTrack, offers practical success tools, tips and strategies for getting and keeping your life on track. Sign up at http://www.LifeOnTrack.com
----------------------------------------------------
– By Cari Vollmer
We've all experienced moments in our life when we hear ourselves say "YES" to a job, person or situation we know deep in our heart isn't right for us. And still we do it. As soon as "yes" leaves our lips, somewhere in us we hear a voice that screams, "NO! Don't do it!" But somehow another part of us kicks in and our mind overrules the wisdom of our body and we find ourselves on a path we nevër intended.
Sometimes these wrong turns can be detrimental to our wellbeing. They cause stress and put us in danger of losing ourselves indefinitely. Other times we immediately realize our "yes" has led to an "o-oh" and we decide right then and there to go back to the beginning and start again.
Either way, when you find yourself in a sticky situation, only you have the power to declare you took a wrong turn and only you can decide when it's time to get back on track. These tips may help.
Be honest with yourself. Admit, as quickly as possible, you made a choice that led you down the wrong path. Nothing will change until you personally acknowledge the decision you made isn't working for you. The sooner, the better. Be willing to take 100% responsibility for the choices you make for your life.
Plan an exit strategy. Once you've admitted to yourself you're on the wrong path, decide how you're going to get back on track. In some situations it may be necessary for you to stop what you're doing immediately. Most of the time, a fast exit may lead to even more stress and poor decision making. Take the time you need to get very clear on what it is you do want, and get back on track one step at a time.
Be gentle with yourself. Beating yourself up will only damage your self-esteem. Realize everyone takes wrong turns -- even the most successful individuals take several wrong turns before getting it right. Remember, life is ten percent how we make it and ninety percent how we take it.
Look for the lesson. There are no mistakes and there's always a lesson to be learned -- and even a blessing. What did taking a wrong turn teach you about yourself? Do you need to listen to your gut more and others less? Do you need to finally listen to your heart and follow its calling? Do you need to value yourself more? Do you need to redefine what success means to you?
Do better next time. Life is full of second chances. Be willing to take them! Let go of the past and commit to do whatever it takes to get back on the right track. The wisdom you've gained from taking a wrong turn will help you do better next time.
There's only one way to live life on your right track. Listen to your heart. It holds the secrët to your happiness and the key to your success.
About the Author:
Cari Vollmer is the creative founder of LifeOnTrack.com. LifeOnTrack.com’s inspirational e-zine, LivingOnTrack, offers practical success tools, tips and strategies for getting and keeping your life on track. Sign up at http://www.LifeOnTrack.com
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