-----------------------------------------------
Visualize what you want. See it, feel it, believe in it. Your mind is your mental workshop. You can build anything you want in it.
Make your mental blueprint and then begin construction. See things as you would have them be instead of as they are.
Use your imagination to perceive your new reality even when it's not fully materialized. Remember, you must first clearly see a thing in your mind before you can do it or have it.
Your imagination will show you how to turn possibility into reality. The beginning of your success is in your imagination. First think, then organize your thoughts into plans. Then transform your thoughts into reality by taking some positive action.
See the things you want as already yours. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession. Picture yourself as having already achieved your goal.
Dreams and ideas can cross continents and oceans. They go anywhere you can go.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, December 09, 2005
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Inner Guides
-------------------------------------------------
Seeking Advice From Yourself
Since we probably know ourselves better than anyone else does, then we may very well be the best person to ask for advice when we are in a quandary. One interesting exercise is to try asking for advice from your past and future selves. There is the younger self that you used to be and the older, more mature self that you will become. You can gain a different perspective when you view present situations through your younger self's eyes or your mature self's more experienced point of view. Perhaps, your younger self would view a current dilemma in a more innocent, less cynical way. Likewise, your older, hopefully wiser, self may offer advice from a more compassionate, experienced perspective.
Think back to how you viewed the world when you were younger. What were your thoughts on happiness, love, and injustice? Think about how you would have reacted to a dilemma you are currently facing. The perspective may shed a different light on relationships, money matters, or life decisions. Likewise, think about the person you will become. A more mature version of you might mull a problem or conflict over carefully before taking action right away... or perhaps not. Maybe your older self would be more willing to take risks, care less about what other people think, and want to enjoy life more.
You can even set up an advisory panel of your past, present, and future selves. You might even want to try to have a written dialogue with your selves to record the thoughts, feelings, and advice that your younger and older selves might have for your present self regarding a current situation. Your different selves can give you some invaluable answers. After all, no one can know you better than your selves. You are your wisest guide.
What do you think?
Seeking Advice From Yourself
Since we probably know ourselves better than anyone else does, then we may very well be the best person to ask for advice when we are in a quandary. One interesting exercise is to try asking for advice from your past and future selves. There is the younger self that you used to be and the older, more mature self that you will become. You can gain a different perspective when you view present situations through your younger self's eyes or your mature self's more experienced point of view. Perhaps, your younger self would view a current dilemma in a more innocent, less cynical way. Likewise, your older, hopefully wiser, self may offer advice from a more compassionate, experienced perspective.
Think back to how you viewed the world when you were younger. What were your thoughts on happiness, love, and injustice? Think about how you would have reacted to a dilemma you are currently facing. The perspective may shed a different light on relationships, money matters, or life decisions. Likewise, think about the person you will become. A more mature version of you might mull a problem or conflict over carefully before taking action right away... or perhaps not. Maybe your older self would be more willing to take risks, care less about what other people think, and want to enjoy life more.
You can even set up an advisory panel of your past, present, and future selves. You might even want to try to have a written dialogue with your selves to record the thoughts, feelings, and advice that your younger and older selves might have for your present self regarding a current situation. Your different selves can give you some invaluable answers. After all, no one can know you better than your selves. You are your wisest guide.
What do you think?
The Key To Happiness
--------------------------------------------------
- By Brian Tracy
Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the key measure of your success, of how well you are doing as a person.
You learn the key to happiness that has been the same through all of history. You learn how to dispel the two myths that may be holding you back and how to achieve more happiness in everything you do.
Dedicate Yourself To Your Best Talents
The key to happiness is this: dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.
This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life.
Please Yourself First
In Edmond Rostand’s play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: “I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things.”
Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. You can be happy only when you are living your life in the very best way possible. No one can define happiness for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Happiness is an inside job.
Your Happiness Is Up To You
The biggest myth about happiness is when people say that it is not legitimate or correct for you to put your happiness ahead of everyone else’s. Throughout my life, I’ve met people who have said that it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make yourself happy. This is nonsense.
The fact is that you can’t give away to anyone else what you don’t have for yourself. Just as you can’t give money to the poor if you don’t have any, you can’t make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.
The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kind of things that make you happy.
Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, define for yourself the activities that you really love and enjoy, at home and work, and then organize your life so you do more of them.
Second, believe in yourself and trust your own feelings. Then, please at least yourself in all things.
Third, determine what it is that you do that brings the most happiness to others and then organize your life so that you can do more of it.
About the author:
Brian Tracy is one of the leading authorities on personal development and effectiveness with seminars that have helped thousands of people. You can view his web site at: http://www.briantracy.com
- By Brian Tracy
Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the key measure of your success, of how well you are doing as a person.
You learn the key to happiness that has been the same through all of history. You learn how to dispel the two myths that may be holding you back and how to achieve more happiness in everything you do.
Dedicate Yourself To Your Best Talents
The key to happiness is this: dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do, and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.
This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life.
Please Yourself First
In Edmond Rostand’s play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: “I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things.”
Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. You can be happy only when you are living your life in the very best way possible. No one can define happiness for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Happiness is an inside job.
Your Happiness Is Up To You
The biggest myth about happiness is when people say that it is not legitimate or correct for you to put your happiness ahead of everyone else’s. Throughout my life, I’ve met people who have said that it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make yourself happy. This is nonsense.
The fact is that you can’t give away to anyone else what you don’t have for yourself. Just as you can’t give money to the poor if you don’t have any, you can’t make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.
The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kind of things that make you happy.
Action Exercises
Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, define for yourself the activities that you really love and enjoy, at home and work, and then organize your life so you do more of them.
Second, believe in yourself and trust your own feelings. Then, please at least yourself in all things.
Third, determine what it is that you do that brings the most happiness to others and then organize your life so that you can do more of it.
About the author:
Brian Tracy is one of the leading authorities on personal development and effectiveness with seminars that have helped thousands of people. You can view his web site at: http://www.briantracy.com
OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS ALL THE TIME
------------------------------------------------
Opportunity is around you all the time, but you have to be ready for it. When your chance comes, you must be prepared to take advantage of it.
The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, for time and chance happen to everyone. Take a second look at what appears to be someone's ‘good luck.’ You'll find not luck but preparation, planning and success-producing thinking.
When you're prepared for opportunity, your chance for success is sure to come.
The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success. The tide of opportunity comes to everyone. Even to you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Opportunity is around you all the time, but you have to be ready for it. When your chance comes, you must be prepared to take advantage of it.
The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, for time and chance happen to everyone. Take a second look at what appears to be someone's ‘good luck.’ You'll find not luck but preparation, planning and success-producing thinking.
When you're prepared for opportunity, your chance for success is sure to come.
The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success. The tide of opportunity comes to everyone. Even to you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Power Of Union
------------------------------------------------
Entering Into Partnership
The purpose of partnership is to create something greater than we can create alone. Not because of any deficiency or incompleteness in us, but because each of us is unique, with our own talents and abilities, and in partnership we increase the efforts and talents available for creating something meaningful together. All partnerships, whether romantic, creative, or professionally-based, can be powerful relationships for personal growth. In partnership we harness the power of union.
It is important to choose our partnerships consciously. Sometimes forged quickly during times of need, we may find ourselves rushing into unions with perhaps not the clearest intentions. Partnerships created from those starting point might serve our immediate needs, but the repercussions of a union so quickly fostered without much thought can be difficult to recover from. Granted, there is something to learn from every relationship, but looking to another to fix or complete us can turn a partnership into a dependent bond. If we can stay clear about what we want and what we need in a partnership, while staying grounded and remembering that we are our own source of happiness and fulfillment, we can create partnerships that support and enhance the best of who we are.
Everyone in our lives is a mirror reflecting back the parts we love and dislike about ourselves. If we have the courage to recognize our reflections in each other, we can grow through our partnerships. A partnership that offers both acceptance of who we are and an opportunity for personal transformation can be fertile ground for growing a healthy, lasting union. When we find this kind of partnership, we are more likely to want to keep it, invest in it, and nurture it.
Life is a collaborative effort. Much of what we do can be enhanced through partnership. Together we are stronger because our personal power is multiplied by two. Through partnership we experience the joys of working, living, and loving together.
What do you think?
Entering Into Partnership
The purpose of partnership is to create something greater than we can create alone. Not because of any deficiency or incompleteness in us, but because each of us is unique, with our own talents and abilities, and in partnership we increase the efforts and talents available for creating something meaningful together. All partnerships, whether romantic, creative, or professionally-based, can be powerful relationships for personal growth. In partnership we harness the power of union.
It is important to choose our partnerships consciously. Sometimes forged quickly during times of need, we may find ourselves rushing into unions with perhaps not the clearest intentions. Partnerships created from those starting point might serve our immediate needs, but the repercussions of a union so quickly fostered without much thought can be difficult to recover from. Granted, there is something to learn from every relationship, but looking to another to fix or complete us can turn a partnership into a dependent bond. If we can stay clear about what we want and what we need in a partnership, while staying grounded and remembering that we are our own source of happiness and fulfillment, we can create partnerships that support and enhance the best of who we are.
Everyone in our lives is a mirror reflecting back the parts we love and dislike about ourselves. If we have the courage to recognize our reflections in each other, we can grow through our partnerships. A partnership that offers both acceptance of who we are and an opportunity for personal transformation can be fertile ground for growing a healthy, lasting union. When we find this kind of partnership, we are more likely to want to keep it, invest in it, and nurture it.
Life is a collaborative effort. Much of what we do can be enhanced through partnership. Together we are stronger because our personal power is multiplied by two. Through partnership we experience the joys of working, living, and loving together.
What do you think?
Embrace Change
----------------------------------------------------
– By Lori Radun, CEC
Last Sunday I was sitting in on a class we conduct for newcomers at our church. One of our pastors said, “If we don’t change, we aren’t growing, and if we aren’t growing, we are dying.” Isn’t that so true? If you want your life to remain status quo, then your best guarantëe is to resist change. However, if you want a better marriage, more life balance, higher self-esteem, better behaved children, or more quality friendships, then you need to embrace change.
So many of us focus on changing other people around us, even though we know deep down this doesn’t work. In fact, there is so much resistance to change that a book was written called "Why Should I Be the First to Change?". There are many answers to this question. First, you will be happier if you are continually growing and learning. You can only be responsible for you. When you change, people will follow. Lastly, by living your life to the fullest, you contribute to making the world a better place to live.
But let’s face it. Change is hard. We are creatures of habit, and many of our behaviors were learned in childhood. Maybe those behaviors served us at one time, but eventually we will be called to change if we want some part of our life to be different. As someone who has been committed to personal growth and change for over 20 years, let me share with you five essential ingredients I’ve learned you must have to successfully make changes in your life.
1. Action
You can read every self-help book, attend seminars, or talk with people about how they’ve made changes, but unless you actually take action, nothing is going to happen. Of course gaining knowledge helps. However, it’s only the first step to change. Our mother’s group at church recently read a book called "She’s Gonna Blow." In that book, there were hundreds of suggestions on how moms can better manage anger with their children. If a mom is dealing with frequent anger at her children, then she must take some of the principles and actually apply them to her life. Maybe it means she has to resolve anger from her past, count to 10 before she responds, or reserve daily relaxation time for herself. She must do something different if she is going to conquer her anger issues.
2. Focus
To focus, you need a vision and a plan. How do you want your life to be different, and what is your plan to change it? This is one thing I have learned from starting my own business. I have a tendency to have a million (well, not quite) ideas about what I want to do to grow my business. I will start to work on one idea and then jump to the next, and then on to something else. Pretty soon I am wondering what exactly I am accomplishing. Is my business actually growing, or am I just doing a lot
of tasks that don’t produce results? For every change you are trying to make, pick two or three things you can do to support that change and stick to them. Try those things for a substantial period of time before you move on to something else.
3. Discipline
This is what will carry you through when the going gets tough. Anyone can stick to change for a week or two. It takes a disciplined mindset to make lasting change. You have to be able to pick yourself up when you fall down, brush yourself off, and try again. For two years, my older son, Kai, played travel baseball. Then he encountered a long hitting slump, and he was no longer a superstar. His dad and I kept telling him he needed to be practicing or his hitting would not improve. It took two years of crushing disappointment from not making the travel team for Kai to learn discipline. He nöw faithfully practices his hitting at least five times per week. It totally comes from him and his desire to succeed. His discipline has developed a lifestyle change for him that has tremendously improved his hitting and his confidence.
4. Courage
The number one reason we resist change is fear. Sometimes it can be scary to change. It is much more comfortable to remain status quo. It is normal to feel fear, but yet it is so crippling. To have courage is to not feel fear, but to push through the fear. I have always had a dream of singing on the music team at church. Singing on our church music team meant I had to go through an extensive and frightening audition. I could have easily sat on the sidelines and nevër taken that risk. Instead, I mustered the courage to try out. It was one of the most nerve-racking experiences I’ve had. Even though I didn’t make the team, I learned something about myself. I am capable of conquering fear, and I lived to tell about it.
5. Support
Change requires supportive people in your life. You need people who believe in you and who will encourage you on your journey. Sometimes you need someone to hold you accountable for what you say you’re going to do. You need friends and family members that won’t let you give up. You need love and understanding when you are struggling. Surround yourself with loving and helpful people, and put God at the center of your life. Some changes are so difficult, but all things are possible with God.
About the Author:
Lori Radun, CEC is a certified life coach and founder of True to You Life Coaching, LLC. Through speaking, personal coaching, her FRËE monthly newsletter, and other coaching products, Lori’s desire is to offer encouragement and support for moms on their journey through motherhood. To receive her FRËE newsletter and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children,” go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com
– By Lori Radun, CEC
Last Sunday I was sitting in on a class we conduct for newcomers at our church. One of our pastors said, “If we don’t change, we aren’t growing, and if we aren’t growing, we are dying.” Isn’t that so true? If you want your life to remain status quo, then your best guarantëe is to resist change. However, if you want a better marriage, more life balance, higher self-esteem, better behaved children, or more quality friendships, then you need to embrace change.
So many of us focus on changing other people around us, even though we know deep down this doesn’t work. In fact, there is so much resistance to change that a book was written called "Why Should I Be the First to Change?". There are many answers to this question. First, you will be happier if you are continually growing and learning. You can only be responsible for you. When you change, people will follow. Lastly, by living your life to the fullest, you contribute to making the world a better place to live.
But let’s face it. Change is hard. We are creatures of habit, and many of our behaviors were learned in childhood. Maybe those behaviors served us at one time, but eventually we will be called to change if we want some part of our life to be different. As someone who has been committed to personal growth and change for over 20 years, let me share with you five essential ingredients I’ve learned you must have to successfully make changes in your life.
1. Action
You can read every self-help book, attend seminars, or talk with people about how they’ve made changes, but unless you actually take action, nothing is going to happen. Of course gaining knowledge helps. However, it’s only the first step to change. Our mother’s group at church recently read a book called "She’s Gonna Blow." In that book, there were hundreds of suggestions on how moms can better manage anger with their children. If a mom is dealing with frequent anger at her children, then she must take some of the principles and actually apply them to her life. Maybe it means she has to resolve anger from her past, count to 10 before she responds, or reserve daily relaxation time for herself. She must do something different if she is going to conquer her anger issues.
2. Focus
To focus, you need a vision and a plan. How do you want your life to be different, and what is your plan to change it? This is one thing I have learned from starting my own business. I have a tendency to have a million (well, not quite) ideas about what I want to do to grow my business. I will start to work on one idea and then jump to the next, and then on to something else. Pretty soon I am wondering what exactly I am accomplishing. Is my business actually growing, or am I just doing a lot
of tasks that don’t produce results? For every change you are trying to make, pick two or three things you can do to support that change and stick to them. Try those things for a substantial period of time before you move on to something else.
3. Discipline
This is what will carry you through when the going gets tough. Anyone can stick to change for a week or two. It takes a disciplined mindset to make lasting change. You have to be able to pick yourself up when you fall down, brush yourself off, and try again. For two years, my older son, Kai, played travel baseball. Then he encountered a long hitting slump, and he was no longer a superstar. His dad and I kept telling him he needed to be practicing or his hitting would not improve. It took two years of crushing disappointment from not making the travel team for Kai to learn discipline. He nöw faithfully practices his hitting at least five times per week. It totally comes from him and his desire to succeed. His discipline has developed a lifestyle change for him that has tremendously improved his hitting and his confidence.
4. Courage
The number one reason we resist change is fear. Sometimes it can be scary to change. It is much more comfortable to remain status quo. It is normal to feel fear, but yet it is so crippling. To have courage is to not feel fear, but to push through the fear. I have always had a dream of singing on the music team at church. Singing on our church music team meant I had to go through an extensive and frightening audition. I could have easily sat on the sidelines and nevër taken that risk. Instead, I mustered the courage to try out. It was one of the most nerve-racking experiences I’ve had. Even though I didn’t make the team, I learned something about myself. I am capable of conquering fear, and I lived to tell about it.
5. Support
Change requires supportive people in your life. You need people who believe in you and who will encourage you on your journey. Sometimes you need someone to hold you accountable for what you say you’re going to do. You need friends and family members that won’t let you give up. You need love and understanding when you are struggling. Surround yourself with loving and helpful people, and put God at the center of your life. Some changes are so difficult, but all things are possible with God.
About the Author:
Lori Radun, CEC is a certified life coach and founder of True to You Life Coaching, LLC. Through speaking, personal coaching, her FRËE monthly newsletter, and other coaching products, Lori’s desire is to offer encouragement and support for moms on their journey through motherhood. To receive her FRËE newsletter and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to Raise Great Children,” go to http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com
SUCCESS IS WAITING FOR YOU
------------------------------------------------
There are no age limits on when you can transform your life. Change is possible at any time. It is essential if you want to grow.
You have control over your life. Success or failure is up to you. You control how lucky you are. You create your wealth with your effort.
The doubts you'll experience along the way are part of life. Make a plan to attain your success and stick to it. Your life is a marathon, not a short sprint. Accept total responsibility for your actions and remove 'QUIT' from your vocabulary.
Decide you want success and it can be yours. Success is always your choice.
©2005 by Max Steingart
There are no age limits on when you can transform your life. Change is possible at any time. It is essential if you want to grow.
You have control over your life. Success or failure is up to you. You control how lucky you are. You create your wealth with your effort.
The doubts you'll experience along the way are part of life. Make a plan to attain your success and stick to it. Your life is a marathon, not a short sprint. Accept total responsibility for your actions and remove 'QUIT' from your vocabulary.
Decide you want success and it can be yours. Success is always your choice.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
The Most Important Gifts of All
----------------------------------------------------
– By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
In This Season of Gift-Buying, Don't Ignore The Most Important Gifts of All.
In this season of holiday gift buying, advertisers bombard us with messages, some of them contradictory. One ad tells us that the best way for men to show love is to spend three months' salary on a piece of diamond jewelry. On the other hand, MasterCard commercials remind us that there are some things ("Priceless" moments) that monëy can't buy.
"Oh, that's a sweet sentiment," you might say, "but can it really substitute for the latest video game or hot toy?" Very few children raised in this materialistic culture would say, "Gee mom, thanks for making my favorite meal. What a great Christmas gift!"
Yet 20 years from nöw, these same children probably won't remember the items they got for the current Christmas. They will, however, recall the special games that their family played together, the time that their older brother took them to a movie, or the way their parents tucked them in at night.
These are the little moments, which over time, have a huge impact. Unfortunately people tend to take them for granted. With so much emphasis on holiday shopping, and on buying the perfect gift, we can losë sight of the importance of the less flashy, but "priceless" gifts: gifts such as thoughtfulness and gratitude that we can give to one another all year round. A diamond may be forever, but its value is nothing compared to a lïfetime of moments that monëy can't buy.
I'm not suggesting that you forego the presents this holiday season, but don't worry so much about how "perfect" they are. Go ahead and buy some gifts, but more importantly, resolve to focus your energy on helping others feel valued and appreciated. They will remember your acts of thoughtfulness and compassion long after the material gifts are gone.
Hëre are some examples of small gestures that can help people around you feel valued:
1. Show your appreciation with a thank-you, a smile or a hug (or all three). It takes just a moment, but it can make a person's day.
2. Practice a random act of kindness every day. Make this your "gift" to a stranger. For example, let someone in front of you in line. Hold a door open for someone. Smile and greet people you pass at work. These acts take only a few seconds or less, yet they create a mood that can last for hours.
3. Call up someone you haven't spoken to in a while, just to catch up on how they are. You've probably been meaning to do this for a long time. Nöw is a good time.
4. If you have children, give one child at a time your full attention for an afternoon: Go for a walk; go to the library; or just sit and read or draw together. The activity itself isn't as important as sharing time and interacting together. Going to a movie or watching a video doesn't count.
5. Write a note of appreciation to someone who is important to you. Don't be surprised if that person keeps the note for years to come.
6. Think of the way you'd like to be remembered by those around you, and give of yourself accordingly throughout the year. The added benefit for you is that you'll be in a more positive frame of mind overall.
About the Author:
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Beyond Words Publishing, 2001).
Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her frëe, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.
– By Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.
In This Season of Gift-Buying, Don't Ignore The Most Important Gifts of All.
In this season of holiday gift buying, advertisers bombard us with messages, some of them contradictory. One ad tells us that the best way for men to show love is to spend three months' salary on a piece of diamond jewelry. On the other hand, MasterCard commercials remind us that there are some things ("Priceless" moments) that monëy can't buy.
"Oh, that's a sweet sentiment," you might say, "but can it really substitute for the latest video game or hot toy?" Very few children raised in this materialistic culture would say, "Gee mom, thanks for making my favorite meal. What a great Christmas gift!"
Yet 20 years from nöw, these same children probably won't remember the items they got for the current Christmas. They will, however, recall the special games that their family played together, the time that their older brother took them to a movie, or the way their parents tucked them in at night.
These are the little moments, which over time, have a huge impact. Unfortunately people tend to take them for granted. With so much emphasis on holiday shopping, and on buying the perfect gift, we can losë sight of the importance of the less flashy, but "priceless" gifts: gifts such as thoughtfulness and gratitude that we can give to one another all year round. A diamond may be forever, but its value is nothing compared to a lïfetime of moments that monëy can't buy.
I'm not suggesting that you forego the presents this holiday season, but don't worry so much about how "perfect" they are. Go ahead and buy some gifts, but more importantly, resolve to focus your energy on helping others feel valued and appreciated. They will remember your acts of thoughtfulness and compassion long after the material gifts are gone.
Hëre are some examples of small gestures that can help people around you feel valued:
1. Show your appreciation with a thank-you, a smile or a hug (or all three). It takes just a moment, but it can make a person's day.
2. Practice a random act of kindness every day. Make this your "gift" to a stranger. For example, let someone in front of you in line. Hold a door open for someone. Smile and greet people you pass at work. These acts take only a few seconds or less, yet they create a mood that can last for hours.
3. Call up someone you haven't spoken to in a while, just to catch up on how they are. You've probably been meaning to do this for a long time. Nöw is a good time.
4. If you have children, give one child at a time your full attention for an afternoon: Go for a walk; go to the library; or just sit and read or draw together. The activity itself isn't as important as sharing time and interacting together. Going to a movie or watching a video doesn't count.
5. Write a note of appreciation to someone who is important to you. Don't be surprised if that person keeps the note for years to come.
6. Think of the way you'd like to be remembered by those around you, and give of yourself accordingly throughout the year. The added benefit for you is that you'll be in a more positive frame of mind overall.
About the Author:
Pauline Wallin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA, and author of "Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-defeating Behavior" (Beyond Words Publishing, 2001).
Visit http://www.innerbrat.com for more information, and subscribe to her frëe, monthly Inner Brat Newsletter.
CONCENTRATION CAN OPEN ANY DOOR
-----------------------------------------------
The first law of success is concentration. Bend all your energies to one point, and go directly to that point, looking neither to the right nor the left.
Concentration is the magic key that opens the door to accomplishment. Success is the result of well directed energy.
You can, in time, become what you earnestly desire to be, if you set your face in the direction of the thing you want and bring all your powers to bear towards its attainment.
When your physical and mental resources are focused, your power to solve problems multiplies tremendously. To do two things at once is to do neither.
Nothing can add more power to your life as much as concentrating all your energies
on a limited set of targets.
The rays of the sun do not burn until brought to a focus.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The first law of success is concentration. Bend all your energies to one point, and go directly to that point, looking neither to the right nor the left.
Concentration is the magic key that opens the door to accomplishment. Success is the result of well directed energy.
You can, in time, become what you earnestly desire to be, if you set your face in the direction of the thing you want and bring all your powers to bear towards its attainment.
When your physical and mental resources are focused, your power to solve problems multiplies tremendously. To do two things at once is to do neither.
Nothing can add more power to your life as much as concentrating all your energies
on a limited set of targets.
The rays of the sun do not burn until brought to a focus.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, December 05, 2005
Peeling Away The Layers
-------------------------------------------------
Trees Shedding Their Bark
Trees grow up through their branches and down through their roots into the earth. They also grow wider with each passing year. As they do, they shed the bark that served to protect them but now is no longer big enough to contain them. In the same way, we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them. If we don't allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can't expand to our full potential.
Trees need their protective bark to enable the delicate process of growth and renewal to unfold without threat. Likewise, we need our boundaries and defenses so that the more vulnerable parts of ourselves can safely heal and unfold. But our growth also depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need. It is often the case in life that structures we put in place to help us grow eventually become constricting.
Unlike a tree, we must consciously decide when it's time to shed our bark and expand our boundaries, so we can move into our next ring of growth. Many spiritual teachers have suggested that our egos don't disappear so much as they become large enough to hold more than just our small sense of self-the boundary of self widens to contain people and beings other than just "me." Each time we shed a layer of defensiveness or ease up on a boundary that we no longer need, we metaphorically become bigger people. With this in mind, it is important that we take time to question our boundaries and defenses. While it is essential to set and honor the protective barriers we have put in place, it is equally important that we soften and release them when the time comes. In doing so, we create the space for our next phase of growth.
What do you think?
Trees Shedding Their Bark
Trees grow up through their branches and down through their roots into the earth. They also grow wider with each passing year. As they do, they shed the bark that served to protect them but now is no longer big enough to contain them. In the same way, we create boundaries and develop defenses to protect ourselves and then, at a certain point, we outgrow them. If we don't allow ourselves to shed our protective layer, we can't expand to our full potential.
Trees need their protective bark to enable the delicate process of growth and renewal to unfold without threat. Likewise, we need our boundaries and defenses so that the more vulnerable parts of ourselves can safely heal and unfold. But our growth also depends upon our ability to soften, loosen, and shed boundaries and defenses we no longer need. It is often the case in life that structures we put in place to help us grow eventually become constricting.
Unlike a tree, we must consciously decide when it's time to shed our bark and expand our boundaries, so we can move into our next ring of growth. Many spiritual teachers have suggested that our egos don't disappear so much as they become large enough to hold more than just our small sense of self-the boundary of self widens to contain people and beings other than just "me." Each time we shed a layer of defensiveness or ease up on a boundary that we no longer need, we metaphorically become bigger people. With this in mind, it is important that we take time to question our boundaries and defenses. While it is essential to set and honor the protective barriers we have put in place, it is equally important that we soften and release them when the time comes. In doing so, we create the space for our next phase of growth.
What do you think?
The Person in the Glass
-------------------------------------------------
- By Anonymous Author
If you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you a champion for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that person has to say.
For it isn't your father, or mother, or brother,
Who upon you their judgment will pass.
The person whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass…
He or she is the one to please-never mind all the rest!
For he or she is with you right up to the end.
And you've passed your most difficult test,
If the person in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back, as you pass,
But your final reward will be headache or tears,
If you've cheated the person in the glass.
- By Anonymous Author
If you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you a champion for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that person has to say.
For it isn't your father, or mother, or brother,
Who upon you their judgment will pass.
The person whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass…
He or she is the one to please-never mind all the rest!
For he or she is with you right up to the end.
And you've passed your most difficult test,
If the person in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back, as you pass,
But your final reward will be headache or tears,
If you've cheated the person in the glass.
THERE IS NO ACHIEVEMENT WITHOUT GOALS
-------------------------------------------------
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.
You must first establish your objectives if you're going to accomplish anything in a big way. Goals give you a place to start and a final destination. People with goals succeed because they know where they're going.
Determine what you want. Decide on your major objectives, targets, aims, and destination. If you don't know where you're going, how can you expect to get there?
What are your goals?
What are you doing to reach them?
Plant your dreams, nourish and begin to live them. The most important thing about a goal is having one.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want.
You must first establish your objectives if you're going to accomplish anything in a big way. Goals give you a place to start and a final destination. People with goals succeed because they know where they're going.
Determine what you want. Decide on your major objectives, targets, aims, and destination. If you don't know where you're going, how can you expect to get there?
What are your goals?
What are you doing to reach them?
Plant your dreams, nourish and begin to live them. The most important thing about a goal is having one.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, December 02, 2005
Going Away To Go Within
------------------------------------------------
Retreat
Occasionally, we need to pause - and step away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. One way to do this is to get away from our daily life and go on retreat. Far more than a vacation, a retreat offers us time to ourselves to rest, heal, reflect, and renew our spirit. It is a time to cocoon so that we may emerge renewed, refreshed, and ready to return to our everyday lives with a new perspective. A retreat gives us time for uninterrupted meditation so that we may go deep within and spend time with ourselves.
A retreat may offer quiet, solitude, and sometimes even silence. Retreats often take place in humble dwellings with simple fare so that our senses may be reawakened to the beauty of unadorned tastes and the sights and sounds of nature. When we spend days in contemplation, we can more easily hear our heart when it speaks to us. We also are able to really listen when a bird sings, deeply breathe in the smell of flowers, grass, or earth, and delight in a soft breeze blowing on our cheek. When we go on retreat we have time to connect to the sacred geometry of a labyrinth, discover epiphanies through asanas, or take a long, reflective walk through the woods where we can give each step our full attention.
Without the pull of deadlines, relationships, the Internet, or other media, we give ourselves time to go deep into our own solitude where we can fully reflect on our joys, sorrows, and fears, owning and releasing them as needed. We may even come to know and understand our life path more deeply. Hopefully, when we return home, we can take a little bit of this time alone back with us and create the space for deep reflection on a daily basis. We also may come back to our life renewed and ready to take on the world. The beauty of going on retreat is that no matter where you go or how long you stay, you'll always meet yourself when you get there.
What do you think?
Retreat
Occasionally, we need to pause - and step away from the hustle and bustle of modern life. One way to do this is to get away from our daily life and go on retreat. Far more than a vacation, a retreat offers us time to ourselves to rest, heal, reflect, and renew our spirit. It is a time to cocoon so that we may emerge renewed, refreshed, and ready to return to our everyday lives with a new perspective. A retreat gives us time for uninterrupted meditation so that we may go deep within and spend time with ourselves.
A retreat may offer quiet, solitude, and sometimes even silence. Retreats often take place in humble dwellings with simple fare so that our senses may be reawakened to the beauty of unadorned tastes and the sights and sounds of nature. When we spend days in contemplation, we can more easily hear our heart when it speaks to us. We also are able to really listen when a bird sings, deeply breathe in the smell of flowers, grass, or earth, and delight in a soft breeze blowing on our cheek. When we go on retreat we have time to connect to the sacred geometry of a labyrinth, discover epiphanies through asanas, or take a long, reflective walk through the woods where we can give each step our full attention.
Without the pull of deadlines, relationships, the Internet, or other media, we give ourselves time to go deep into our own solitude where we can fully reflect on our joys, sorrows, and fears, owning and releasing them as needed. We may even come to know and understand our life path more deeply. Hopefully, when we return home, we can take a little bit of this time alone back with us and create the space for deep reflection on a daily basis. We also may come back to our life renewed and ready to take on the world. The beauty of going on retreat is that no matter where you go or how long you stay, you'll always meet yourself when you get there.
What do you think?
A Boomerang World
-------------------------------------------------
- By Tim Wright, Ph.D.
As I was sitting outside this morning sipping my coffee and watching the sun climb over the horizon, I looked down and saw a curved stick on the ground that reminded me of a boomerang. Suddenly I was caught up in memories of me as a kid playing for hours on end in my grandfather's backyard with a small wooden boomerang he had given to me as a gift.
Remember when you were a kid, how fascinated you were with boomerangs? (At least I was!) You take this flat, curved piece of wood and throw it and then watch in amazement as it curves around in the air and comes right back to you.
As "miraculous" as that seemed when we were kids, I've found that most of our life is like that. Whatever we "throw" out there, comes back to us.
We live in a "boomerang" world.
Let me explain:
If you smile at someone, in almost every case, they will smile back.
Try it now with someone nearby and see if it works.
If you're kind toward someone, they will usually be kind in return.
Of course, this also works in the other direction.
If you complain to someone, they will "share" their complaints with you. (In fact, you may quickly find yourself in a subtle competition to see who is more miserable.)
If you get angry at someone, they will usually get angry with you.
And so on.
The fact is, whatever you decide to "throw" out into the world will usually circle around and land right back at your feet. (Much like the boomerangs we played with as kids.)
Here's what struck me this morning .
I have a CHOICE about what I decide to "throw" out into my world. I have a CHOICE about what I WANT to land at my feet?
If you want more JOY ... Throw it out there.
If you want more HAPPINESS . Throw some happiness out there to someone else and watch it "miraculously" come back to you.
It even works with money. Need money? Give some away. (Spiritual leaders from the beginning of time have been telling us this, but most of us are afraid to believe it.)
It works in just about every area of our life. When we give something away. When we "throw" it out there. It comes back to us.
But here's the good news. . (And this is really the "miraculous" part.) . We actually get MORE back than what we throw out there. Plant a seed and you don't just get one seed back. You get HUNDREDS (maybe even THOUSANDS!)
So today (and for as many days afterwards as you want), make a conscious CHOICE about what you want to "throw" out into the world. By doing this, you will be making a choice about what is going to come back and land at your feet.
Remember the boomerang. Whatever you "throw" out there WILL come back to you (many times over).
About the Author
You can contact Tim Wright, Ph.D. thru his website. http://www.changingyouremotions.com
- By Tim Wright, Ph.D.
As I was sitting outside this morning sipping my coffee and watching the sun climb over the horizon, I looked down and saw a curved stick on the ground that reminded me of a boomerang. Suddenly I was caught up in memories of me as a kid playing for hours on end in my grandfather's backyard with a small wooden boomerang he had given to me as a gift.
Remember when you were a kid, how fascinated you were with boomerangs? (At least I was!) You take this flat, curved piece of wood and throw it and then watch in amazement as it curves around in the air and comes right back to you.
As "miraculous" as that seemed when we were kids, I've found that most of our life is like that. Whatever we "throw" out there, comes back to us.
We live in a "boomerang" world.
Let me explain:
If you smile at someone, in almost every case, they will smile back.
Try it now with someone nearby and see if it works.
If you're kind toward someone, they will usually be kind in return.
Of course, this also works in the other direction.
If you complain to someone, they will "share" their complaints with you. (In fact, you may quickly find yourself in a subtle competition to see who is more miserable.)
If you get angry at someone, they will usually get angry with you.
And so on.
The fact is, whatever you decide to "throw" out into the world will usually circle around and land right back at your feet. (Much like the boomerangs we played with as kids.)
Here's what struck me this morning .
I have a CHOICE about what I decide to "throw" out into my world. I have a CHOICE about what I WANT to land at my feet?
If you want more JOY ... Throw it out there.
If you want more HAPPINESS . Throw some happiness out there to someone else and watch it "miraculously" come back to you.
It even works with money. Need money? Give some away. (Spiritual leaders from the beginning of time have been telling us this, but most of us are afraid to believe it.)
It works in just about every area of our life. When we give something away. When we "throw" it out there. It comes back to us.
But here's the good news. . (And this is really the "miraculous" part.) . We actually get MORE back than what we throw out there. Plant a seed and you don't just get one seed back. You get HUNDREDS (maybe even THOUSANDS!)
So today (and for as many days afterwards as you want), make a conscious CHOICE about what you want to "throw" out into the world. By doing this, you will be making a choice about what is going to come back and land at your feet.
Remember the boomerang. Whatever you "throw" out there WILL come back to you (many times over).
About the Author
You can contact Tim Wright, Ph.D. thru his website. http://www.changingyouremotions.com
SUCCESS STARTS WHEN YOU BEGIN
SUCCESS STARTS WHEN YOU BEGIN
Your opportunity for success is where you are right now. Everyone who got where they are had to begin where they were. To attain success or to reach your goal, don't worry about having all the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of your goal. Don't procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break those problems into parts, and handle one part at a time. Develop a bias toward action. You can make something happen, today. Break your big plan for success into small steps and take the first step right away. The highest mountain is climbed one step at a time. Take your first step today.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Your opportunity for success is where you are right now. Everyone who got where they are had to begin where they were. To attain success or to reach your goal, don't worry about having all the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of your goal. Don't procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break those problems into parts, and handle one part at a time. Develop a bias toward action. You can make something happen, today. Break your big plan for success into small steps and take the first step right away. The highest mountain is climbed one step at a time. Take your first step today.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Unfolding To Others
------------------------------------------------
The Journey Of Finding A Relationship
Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concepts of who we are and what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don't have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us. Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship.
We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can take on unique forms and unfold at a pace that is right for us. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships - we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want. If you want to be in relationship, but haven't found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order. Maybe all this time alone has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven't worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships.
Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. Remember that the journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.
What do you think?
The Journey Of Finding A Relationship
Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concepts of who we are and what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is learning how to become our own mate. When we can learn to meet our needs without relying on someone else to complete us, we don't have to form relationships from the space of needing our emptiness to be filled. We can also discover our intrinsic value, separate from what someone else might be reflecting back to us. Getting to know who we are and learning to love ourselves creates a solid foundation of self that we can bring to any relationship.
We are fortunate to live in a time when relationships can take on unique forms and unfold at a pace that is right for us. Friendship, dating, open relationships, long term relationships, long distance relationships, or committed relationships - we are free to choose the kind of relationships that we want. If you want to be in relationship, but haven't found the right one for you, remember that the universe works in perfect order. Maybe all this time alone has been part of your preparation period for meeting your intended partner. Even the relationships in our lives that haven't worked out as we had hoped serve us by teaching us to make better choices in our next relationships.
Finding the relationship we want can come early or later in life. It may even happen again and again in one lifetime. There is no right or wrong for how to find a relationship nor is there a timeline that you have to follow. Follow your heart, listen to your inner voice, continue to become your own soul mate, and stay open to love. Remember that the journey of finding the right relationship begins with being in right relationship with yourself.
What do you think?
Triggering Intention
How To Remember To Remember
-----------------------------------------------
- By Maya Talisman Frost
You've got a lot to store in that brain of yours. Sometimes you need to remind yourself to remember something. The most effective way to remember is to choose your triggers wisely.
Post-its work great, but I'm all for simplifying things even further. By choosing to make a certain behavior a trigger for a particular thought, we can skip the paper and adhesive and get right to the important stuff.
The trick is to be intentional about it. We tend to hop in the showër and let our minds wander to all the stuff we're supposed to do. We go about the process of soaping, shaving, and shampooing without paying much attention to what we're doing. We jump into our cars each morning, absorbed by our thoughts. We wash the dishes, sort the laundry, wait in line at the gas station, stand at the grocery counter, and vegetate during commercials without noticing what we're thinking. By incorporating some simple mindfulness techniques into our daily routine, we can focus on our intentions and create lasting changes in our brains.
We've already learned that in order to get our brains to work for us instead of against us, we must come up with present-tense statements that we would like to be true, and we have to repeat them to ourselves daily. Spend some time coming up with two or three one-sentence statements about how you want to feel.
No fair using numbers. This isn't about setting säles goals or salary amounts or even the number of pounds you want to losë. Make a statement that simply describes how you want to feel about your life right nöw.
Here's a list of possible statements:
"I am filled with joy and excitement each day."
"I feel confident, relaxed, and open to whatever the day may bring."
"I have plenty of time to accomplish whatever I need to do."
"I have plenty of energy to enjoy my frëe time."
"I attract plenty of monëy for all my needs."
"I am surrounded by loving people who want only the best for me."
"I am fit, healthy and active."
"I am calm and mindful of all that arises in and around me."
Your brain needs to hear these positive statements, even if you think YOU don't need to. Humor your brain, okay? Give it some happy food to chew on. Allow your mind to mull things over subconsciously.
Brain research tells us that we need to see it, say it and hear it. If at all possible, say your statements out loud if only in a whisper. Watch yourself in a mirror while you do it. Hear your voice saying the words. Visualize what it looks and feels like when each statement is true. The more senses you engage, the more quickly your brain will absorb your statement.
Remember that your mind doesn't sort thoughts into neat piles marked "real" or "imagined." Everything goes in and is processed in the same way. You must feed your brain what you want to believe. We all do a great job of spooning in the negative thoughts, so why is it too much to ask to dish out a few positive ones?
Once you've got your statements, then what? How do you remember to repeat them in a consistent way?
Choose your triggers. Select a certain habit or activity that you engage in every single day. It can be something as simple as brushing your teeth. Any activity that gives you about 30 seconds of time to focus will work. It helps to choose an activity that is somehow related to your intention statement.
For example, let's say that you want to feel less rushed. Think of a trigger related to time. Hitting the snooze button? Looking at your watch? Waiting for your bus or train? Don't choose ALL of these--you won't remember them all. Instead, choose one single action to be your trigger for repeating that statement. Think "time" whenever you engage in that activity, and repeat your statement: "I have plenty of time to accomplish everything I need to do." Or, you could use that trigger to think "relaxed" and repeat "I am relaxed and unhurried."
Use the language that works best for you, but make sure it is present tense and positive--say "I am relaxed" instead of "I'm not stressed." Neuroscientific studies indicate that if we say the word "stressed" our brains will zero in on that and skip the "not" part!
Once you've selected it, start creating the habit of repeating your statement to yourself whenever you engage in that behavior.
Want to work on your attitude about monëy? Every time you open your checkbook or use your credït card, remember "plenty" and repeat your intention statement about it. "I attract plenty of monëy for all of my needs." Maybe you want to spend less monëy. In that case, think "save" and say "I save monëy wisely" or "I am thrifty and frugal."
Looking to improve your approach to your wellness? Repeat your intention statement each time you take the first bite of a meal or lace up your exercising shoes. Think "healthy" and repeat "I am fit, healthy and active."
Longing to find a loving relationship? Each time you see an affectionate couple or someone you find attractive, remember "love" and state your intention: "I am loved deeply and treated lovingly."
It's easy to get caught up in the negative thought cycles we've all developed during our lives. Our brains already know the "I'm nevër going to get ahead financially" story and the "No matter what I do, I can't losë this weight" story. Our minds are getting way too many repeats of the "Other people fulfill their dreams, but not me" fairy tale.
Ack. Turn the page. New story!
Dish up some positive intention statements, and make sure they become a regular part of your routine by attaching them to the triggers you feel will work best for you. Make it easy for your brain to remember to remember.
And okay, use Post-its if that helps.
About the Author:
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. To subscribe to her frëe weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com
-----------------------------------------------
- By Maya Talisman Frost
You've got a lot to store in that brain of yours. Sometimes you need to remind yourself to remember something. The most effective way to remember is to choose your triggers wisely.
Post-its work great, but I'm all for simplifying things even further. By choosing to make a certain behavior a trigger for a particular thought, we can skip the paper and adhesive and get right to the important stuff.
The trick is to be intentional about it. We tend to hop in the showër and let our minds wander to all the stuff we're supposed to do. We go about the process of soaping, shaving, and shampooing without paying much attention to what we're doing. We jump into our cars each morning, absorbed by our thoughts. We wash the dishes, sort the laundry, wait in line at the gas station, stand at the grocery counter, and vegetate during commercials without noticing what we're thinking. By incorporating some simple mindfulness techniques into our daily routine, we can focus on our intentions and create lasting changes in our brains.
We've already learned that in order to get our brains to work for us instead of against us, we must come up with present-tense statements that we would like to be true, and we have to repeat them to ourselves daily. Spend some time coming up with two or three one-sentence statements about how you want to feel.
No fair using numbers. This isn't about setting säles goals or salary amounts or even the number of pounds you want to losë. Make a statement that simply describes how you want to feel about your life right nöw.
Here's a list of possible statements:
"I am filled with joy and excitement each day."
"I feel confident, relaxed, and open to whatever the day may bring."
"I have plenty of time to accomplish whatever I need to do."
"I have plenty of energy to enjoy my frëe time."
"I attract plenty of monëy for all my needs."
"I am surrounded by loving people who want only the best for me."
"I am fit, healthy and active."
"I am calm and mindful of all that arises in and around me."
Your brain needs to hear these positive statements, even if you think YOU don't need to. Humor your brain, okay? Give it some happy food to chew on. Allow your mind to mull things over subconsciously.
Brain research tells us that we need to see it, say it and hear it. If at all possible, say your statements out loud if only in a whisper. Watch yourself in a mirror while you do it. Hear your voice saying the words. Visualize what it looks and feels like when each statement is true. The more senses you engage, the more quickly your brain will absorb your statement.
Remember that your mind doesn't sort thoughts into neat piles marked "real" or "imagined." Everything goes in and is processed in the same way. You must feed your brain what you want to believe. We all do a great job of spooning in the negative thoughts, so why is it too much to ask to dish out a few positive ones?
Once you've got your statements, then what? How do you remember to repeat them in a consistent way?
Choose your triggers. Select a certain habit or activity that you engage in every single day. It can be something as simple as brushing your teeth. Any activity that gives you about 30 seconds of time to focus will work. It helps to choose an activity that is somehow related to your intention statement.
For example, let's say that you want to feel less rushed. Think of a trigger related to time. Hitting the snooze button? Looking at your watch? Waiting for your bus or train? Don't choose ALL of these--you won't remember them all. Instead, choose one single action to be your trigger for repeating that statement. Think "time" whenever you engage in that activity, and repeat your statement: "I have plenty of time to accomplish everything I need to do." Or, you could use that trigger to think "relaxed" and repeat "I am relaxed and unhurried."
Use the language that works best for you, but make sure it is present tense and positive--say "I am relaxed" instead of "I'm not stressed." Neuroscientific studies indicate that if we say the word "stressed" our brains will zero in on that and skip the "not" part!
Once you've selected it, start creating the habit of repeating your statement to yourself whenever you engage in that behavior.
Want to work on your attitude about monëy? Every time you open your checkbook or use your credït card, remember "plenty" and repeat your intention statement about it. "I attract plenty of monëy for all of my needs." Maybe you want to spend less monëy. In that case, think "save" and say "I save monëy wisely" or "I am thrifty and frugal."
Looking to improve your approach to your wellness? Repeat your intention statement each time you take the first bite of a meal or lace up your exercising shoes. Think "healthy" and repeat "I am fit, healthy and active."
Longing to find a loving relationship? Each time you see an affectionate couple or someone you find attractive, remember "love" and state your intention: "I am loved deeply and treated lovingly."
It's easy to get caught up in the negative thought cycles we've all developed during our lives. Our brains already know the "I'm nevër going to get ahead financially" story and the "No matter what I do, I can't losë this weight" story. Our minds are getting way too many repeats of the "Other people fulfill their dreams, but not me" fairy tale.
Ack. Turn the page. New story!
Dish up some positive intention statements, and make sure they become a regular part of your routine by attaching them to the triggers you feel will work best for you. Make it easy for your brain to remember to remember.
And okay, use Post-its if that helps.
About the Author:
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse. Her work has inspired thinkers in over 80 countries. To subscribe to her frëe weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit http://www.massageyourmind.com
YOU HAVE UNLIMITED CHOICES
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You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose. You steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today, tomorrow, or in a distant time to come. You hold the tiller. You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it. It's always your next move.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You don't have to buy from anyone. You don't have to work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose. You steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today, tomorrow, or in a distant time to come. You hold the tiller. You can decide to alter the course of your life at any time. No one can ever take that away from you. You can decide what you want and go after it. It's always your next move.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Let Yourself Be Carried
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The Flow Of The Universe
The flow of the universe moves through everything. It's in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust, and are blown away. It is the blossoming of a flower born from a seed planted in the spring. The growth cycle that every human being goes through is part of this natural flow. The current that takes us down life's paths is this flow. When we move with it, rather than resisting, we are riding on the universal current that allows us to flow with life.
Many people live their lives struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their lives into happening the way they think it should. Others move with this flow like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it moves through and around us. We are always riding this flow. It's just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or resist it. Choosing to go with the flow is often a matter of letting go of the notion that we need to be in control at all times. The flow is always taking you where you need to go. It's just a matter of deciding whether you plan on taking the ride or having it take you there with you dragging your feet.
Learning to step into the flow can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow can take courage because you are surrendering the notion that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and not like anything you ever expected. When you are open to being in this flow, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control. As a child, you were naturally swept by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. Just the tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could carry you into peals of delight. Our souls feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents.
What do you think?
The Flow Of The Universe
The flow of the universe moves through everything. It's in the rocks that form, get pounded into dust, and are blown away. It is the blossoming of a flower born from a seed planted in the spring. The growth cycle that every human being goes through is part of this natural flow. The current that takes us down life's paths is this flow. When we move with it, rather than resisting, we are riding on the universal current that allows us to flow with life.
Many people live their lives struggling against this current. They try to use force or resistance to will their lives into happening the way they think it should. Others move with this flow like a sailor using the wind, trusting that the universe is taking them exactly where they need to be at all times. This flow is accessible to everyone because it moves through and around us. We are always riding this flow. It's just a matter of whether we are willing to go with it or resist it. Choosing to go with the flow is often a matter of letting go of the notion that we need to be in control at all times. The flow is always taking you where you need to go. It's just a matter of deciding whether you plan on taking the ride or having it take you there with you dragging your feet.
Learning to step into the flow can help you feel a connection to a force that is greater than you and is always there to support you. The decision to go with the flow can take courage because you are surrendering the notion that you need to do everything by yourself. Riding the flow of the universe can be effortless, exhilarating, and not like anything you ever expected. When you are open to being in this flow, you open yourself to possibilities that exist beyond the grasp of your control. As a child, you were naturally swept by the flow. Tears of sadness falling down your face could just as quickly turn to tears of laughter. Just the tiniest wave carrying you forward off the shores of the ocean could carry you into peals of delight. Our souls feel good when we go with the flow of the universe. All we have to do is make the choice to ride its currents.
What do you think?
Powertalk
Tips for Becoming a More Powerful Communicator
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– By Jan Phillips
Part of our evolutionary process is learning how to communicate more effectively and efficiently. Few of us have had much training in the matter, and most of us have experienced the consequences of communication breakdowns. We all know what doesn’t work, and how badly it feels to be unheard and misunderstood.
I learned how to speak from a man who didn’t know how to listen. I once worked for a CEO who had no space or time for my emotions or conversational process--so I wrote an article called “Who’s Listening?” for a newsletter I created every month. Since I had been so thrown off guard by his apparent disinterest in the “whole” me, I was led to question what it was about my own communication style that made it hard for us to talk.
These are the questïons I asked myself and ultimately included in the article. I hope they help.
1. Are you being negative? Nobody enjoys being in the presence of negative energy. Try listening to yourself as you speak. Pay attention to your tone of voice. If you are whining, stop it. If you are being cynical or complaining, stop it. For one week, try turning your complaints into requests and see if you notice a difference in how your ideas are received.
2. Do you share opinions, but not your inner self? When’s the last time you were in the presence of a powerful speaker? What do you remember about what the speaker said? Chances are, whoever was talking was sharing some personal story, illustrating a point with an anecdote. Listeners get enrolled in a conversation when the speaker actually shares something meaningful about his or her life. Rich communication nevër occurs by accident. It takes intention and attention. Think of the most engaging conversationalist you know. Next time you hear that person, listen for how much of themselves they really share. Try sharing something personal next time you’re in a conversation with someone who’s important to your life. Trust them enough to admit a fear of yours, to tell a story from your childhood, or to share a vision you have for the future. We are all waiting to have these conversations, but no one wants to go first. Try going first.
3. Are you planning what you want to say while others speak, instead of listening? This one always backfires. It’s a dead giveaway. People know when you’re doing it because your responses to their speaking are usually inappropriate, and communication breaks down rapidly. No one listens back to someone who hasn’t listened to them. Instead of spouting off your opinions immediately after a person has spoken, ask them something about what they just said. Pay attention to their speaking and they will pay more attention to yours.
4. Do you live up to your word? Did you ever know someone who was always going to do this and always promising to do that and nevër came through? Did you stop listening to that person after awhile? The world is full of dreamers and planners, but it’s people’s actions, not their dreams, that inspire us. Open up and share something you’ve accomplished that you’re proud of. If you have something you want to accomplish, ask for support. People will not take us seriously if they see we do not take our own words and commitments seriously.
5. Have you created an environment for listening? It is not easy to listen to someone in a room where TVs and radios are in competition with humans. If real communication is important to you, try turning off the tube and finding a commercial-free FM station that plays music conducive to conversation. Classical music stimulates the alpha waves in our brains and keeps our creative juices flowing.
6. Do you speak as a victim of circumstances or as a creator of possibilities? People who speak as if the world were out to get them have a difficult time finding listeners. No one wants to get pulled into the emotional quicksand that a “victim” seems to be buried in. Consider how you respond as a listener to other people’s tales of woe? Do you tire quickly in that context? Do you get depressed and feel burdened? Energy is contagious. If you speak as the one who’s designing your life, rather than as a victim of other peoples’ actions, you will empower yourself and others.
7. Does your listener know the value of your relationship with her or him? Establishing a background of trust and relatedness is critical to communication. The better sense a person has of you and of your commitment to the relationship, the more open they will be to your speaking. If what needs to be communicated is difficult or risky, it often helps to begin by stating what’s at stake for you and how important honesty is to the relationship.
8. Do you inquire about what may be important to your listener, or do you mostly talk about yourself? One way to ensure that your listener is with you is to include her or his interests in your conversation. The next time you have coffee with your neighbor or sit next to your co-worker in the cafeteria, initiate a conversation about something you know that person is interested in. If she’s a ski enthusiast, ask her about her favorite places to ski. If he’s into computer games, strike up a conversation about an article you read on the subject. People listen up and open up when you show a genuine regard for something they’re interested in.
9. If people listened to you like you listen to others, would you be satisfied? Most of us have a person in our life who plays the role of listener when we really need to talk about something. If you have such a person, consider what particular skills this person has at listening. Why did you pick her or him as your sounding board? What is it that makes you trust them? What body language do they exhibit when you speak that lets you know they’re with you? Is it helpful to have people give you advice when you share something difficult, or would you prefer they just listen
and let you sort things out in their presence? Can you be present to someone’s pain without trying to solve all their problems? Observe how you listen the next time someone shares something difficult and see if you can refrain from offering advice and platitudes.
10. Are you complaining to the wrong people? It doesn’t help anyone to complain to people who have no power to change things. If something is wrong, find out who’s in charge and take your concern to the right person.
About the Author:
Jan Phillips is a principal with 9th Element Group, a master communicator, thought leader, keynote speaker and award-winning author who is currently writing The Art of Original Thinking: The Making of a Thought Leader (9th Element Press). Jan describes the steps to becoming a Thought Leader and discusses the impact of Thought Leaders in their workplaces, communities and organizations. More info at: http://www.9thelementgroup.com/original_think.php?id=67
----------------------------------------------------
– By Jan Phillips
Part of our evolutionary process is learning how to communicate more effectively and efficiently. Few of us have had much training in the matter, and most of us have experienced the consequences of communication breakdowns. We all know what doesn’t work, and how badly it feels to be unheard and misunderstood.
I learned how to speak from a man who didn’t know how to listen. I once worked for a CEO who had no space or time for my emotions or conversational process--so I wrote an article called “Who’s Listening?” for a newsletter I created every month. Since I had been so thrown off guard by his apparent disinterest in the “whole” me, I was led to question what it was about my own communication style that made it hard for us to talk.
These are the questïons I asked myself and ultimately included in the article. I hope they help.
1. Are you being negative? Nobody enjoys being in the presence of negative energy. Try listening to yourself as you speak. Pay attention to your tone of voice. If you are whining, stop it. If you are being cynical or complaining, stop it. For one week, try turning your complaints into requests and see if you notice a difference in how your ideas are received.
2. Do you share opinions, but not your inner self? When’s the last time you were in the presence of a powerful speaker? What do you remember about what the speaker said? Chances are, whoever was talking was sharing some personal story, illustrating a point with an anecdote. Listeners get enrolled in a conversation when the speaker actually shares something meaningful about his or her life. Rich communication nevër occurs by accident. It takes intention and attention. Think of the most engaging conversationalist you know. Next time you hear that person, listen for how much of themselves they really share. Try sharing something personal next time you’re in a conversation with someone who’s important to your life. Trust them enough to admit a fear of yours, to tell a story from your childhood, or to share a vision you have for the future. We are all waiting to have these conversations, but no one wants to go first. Try going first.
3. Are you planning what you want to say while others speak, instead of listening? This one always backfires. It’s a dead giveaway. People know when you’re doing it because your responses to their speaking are usually inappropriate, and communication breaks down rapidly. No one listens back to someone who hasn’t listened to them. Instead of spouting off your opinions immediately after a person has spoken, ask them something about what they just said. Pay attention to their speaking and they will pay more attention to yours.
4. Do you live up to your word? Did you ever know someone who was always going to do this and always promising to do that and nevër came through? Did you stop listening to that person after awhile? The world is full of dreamers and planners, but it’s people’s actions, not their dreams, that inspire us. Open up and share something you’ve accomplished that you’re proud of. If you have something you want to accomplish, ask for support. People will not take us seriously if they see we do not take our own words and commitments seriously.
5. Have you created an environment for listening? It is not easy to listen to someone in a room where TVs and radios are in competition with humans. If real communication is important to you, try turning off the tube and finding a commercial-free FM station that plays music conducive to conversation. Classical music stimulates the alpha waves in our brains and keeps our creative juices flowing.
6. Do you speak as a victim of circumstances or as a creator of possibilities? People who speak as if the world were out to get them have a difficult time finding listeners. No one wants to get pulled into the emotional quicksand that a “victim” seems to be buried in. Consider how you respond as a listener to other people’s tales of woe? Do you tire quickly in that context? Do you get depressed and feel burdened? Energy is contagious. If you speak as the one who’s designing your life, rather than as a victim of other peoples’ actions, you will empower yourself and others.
7. Does your listener know the value of your relationship with her or him? Establishing a background of trust and relatedness is critical to communication. The better sense a person has of you and of your commitment to the relationship, the more open they will be to your speaking. If what needs to be communicated is difficult or risky, it often helps to begin by stating what’s at stake for you and how important honesty is to the relationship.
8. Do you inquire about what may be important to your listener, or do you mostly talk about yourself? One way to ensure that your listener is with you is to include her or his interests in your conversation. The next time you have coffee with your neighbor or sit next to your co-worker in the cafeteria, initiate a conversation about something you know that person is interested in. If she’s a ski enthusiast, ask her about her favorite places to ski. If he’s into computer games, strike up a conversation about an article you read on the subject. People listen up and open up when you show a genuine regard for something they’re interested in.
9. If people listened to you like you listen to others, would you be satisfied? Most of us have a person in our life who plays the role of listener when we really need to talk about something. If you have such a person, consider what particular skills this person has at listening. Why did you pick her or him as your sounding board? What is it that makes you trust them? What body language do they exhibit when you speak that lets you know they’re with you? Is it helpful to have people give you advice when you share something difficult, or would you prefer they just listen
and let you sort things out in their presence? Can you be present to someone’s pain without trying to solve all their problems? Observe how you listen the next time someone shares something difficult and see if you can refrain from offering advice and platitudes.
10. Are you complaining to the wrong people? It doesn’t help anyone to complain to people who have no power to change things. If something is wrong, find out who’s in charge and take your concern to the right person.
About the Author:
Jan Phillips is a principal with 9th Element Group, a master communicator, thought leader, keynote speaker and award-winning author who is currently writing The Art of Original Thinking: The Making of a Thought Leader (9th Element Press). Jan describes the steps to becoming a Thought Leader and discusses the impact of Thought Leaders in their workplaces, communities and organizations. More info at: http://www.9thelementgroup.com/original_think.php?id=67
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