Constructive Confrontation
Pointing out a fault or misstep in someone is often uncomfortable, draining, or stressful. It can be easier to overlook a problem than to confront the individual behind it. But just as everything in the universe has a positive and negative side, confrontation can be beneficial when handled one way or detrimental when handled in another way. If you accept that there is no winner or loser in a confrontation, and that it is merely a step in reaching a constructive solution, you can harness confrontation as a means of inspiring positive change. Sometimes the only way to show a person how they are doing you or themselves harm is to candidly express the consequences of their actions. In fact, confrontation, when handled in a calm and timely fashion, can be an act of caring.
If you find you shy away from confrontation, seeing it as an opportunity to help someone else may make it more bearable. To be willing to confront someone demonstrates your desire to maintain an open discourse with them, even if they don't initially see it as such. Naturally, in confronting someone, because you are openly discussing negative aspects of their behavior, you run the risk of offending them. But there are steps you can take to remove the sting from a confrontation. Remember that confrontation is nothing more than an opportunity for frank communication. Prepare beforehand by compiling a mental list of the facts surrounding the issue behind the confrontation. You may want to rehearse your opening statement to yourself, if it will make you feel more at ease. Finally, after discussing the behavior you are unhappy with in clear terms, give the other person a chance to respond without interrupting.
Maintaining a calm demeanor can turn a confrontation into a constructive conversation. Positive confrontation can be a learning experience for both parties, because it involves openly and bravely facing an issue. When most effective, both parties will come away from a confrontation feeling satisfied that they can move forward, changed for the better.
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