--------------------------------------------------
Courage is the power to face your difficulties. It comes from the reserves of your mind that are more powerful than your outside circumstances. When you recognize that you're bigger than your problems, you'll gain the courage necessary to overcome anything.
Your obstacles will look large or small to you according to whether you are large or small.
Courage is the capacity to confront what can be imagined. It gives you the ability to rise above your present reality.
Reality is something you can rise above.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, August 12, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Listening With A Open Heart
--------------------------------------------------------
Being A Good Listener
Everyone appreciates a good listener. We all know how wonderful it is to be able to have someone to share our life with, whether it is the joys and frustrations of being a new parent, the excitement of a new career, the heartache of a lost love, or simple chitchat. At times, we all want and need to be heard. It is equally important then that we develop the skills to lend a helping ear to others.
Being a good listener means being an active listener by being fully present when someone is talking to you. Making eye contact when someone is speaking helps to connect us to one another. It also keeps us focused on what is being saying, rather than what we are thinking. We need to not only hear words, but also to read body language and understand feelings. It goes without saying that we shouldn't interrupt someone when they are talking, or to judge and criticize, but often we fall into such habits without being conscious of them. By being fully present when someone is speaking we are better able to simply listen and give advice only if we are asked.
We don't have to agree with everything or anything that is being said, but listening with an open mind is respectful to the speaker and it allows us to understand the other person and ourselves better. By letting go of assumptions and hearing what is being said, as well as the tone of voice the speaker is using, we can better understand our differences and perhaps find some similarities.
Reflect back to the speaker that you understand and empathize with their feelings of happiness, anxiety, and/or sadness. Ask questions if you don't understand, but respect boundaries if the speaker seems uncomfortable. Sometimes, being a good listener means listening to the silence in between words. Being a good listener is easy - simply listen with your ears, as well as your heart.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Being A Good Listener
Everyone appreciates a good listener. We all know how wonderful it is to be able to have someone to share our life with, whether it is the joys and frustrations of being a new parent, the excitement of a new career, the heartache of a lost love, or simple chitchat. At times, we all want and need to be heard. It is equally important then that we develop the skills to lend a helping ear to others.
Being a good listener means being an active listener by being fully present when someone is talking to you. Making eye contact when someone is speaking helps to connect us to one another. It also keeps us focused on what is being saying, rather than what we are thinking. We need to not only hear words, but also to read body language and understand feelings. It goes without saying that we shouldn't interrupt someone when they are talking, or to judge and criticize, but often we fall into such habits without being conscious of them. By being fully present when someone is speaking we are better able to simply listen and give advice only if we are asked.
We don't have to agree with everything or anything that is being said, but listening with an open mind is respectful to the speaker and it allows us to understand the other person and ourselves better. By letting go of assumptions and hearing what is being said, as well as the tone of voice the speaker is using, we can better understand our differences and perhaps find some similarities.
Reflect back to the speaker that you understand and empathize with their feelings of happiness, anxiety, and/or sadness. Ask questions if you don't understand, but respect boundaries if the speaker seems uncomfortable. Sometimes, being a good listener means listening to the silence in between words. Being a good listener is easy - simply listen with your ears, as well as your heart.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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This week's eMeditation
--------------------------------------------------
- By Vic Johnson
“He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure.” - As A Man Thinketh
I have come to believe that the greatest diseases of mankind are doubt and fear. That's not to lessen the seriousness of some of our other afflictions, but doubt and fear rob more people of more life than all the other diseases of the world put together.
Why do I think they're diseases? Well they're acquired, we weren't born with them. They're communicable - much of the time they're passed from one person to the next. But even more clear is the Merriam-Webster dictionary which says a disease is "a condition of the living animal...that impairs normal functioning." Sounds like fear and doubt to me.
Doubt keeps us from going for the promotion that we certainly would have gotten had we gone for it; from asking for the big order that the next person got because they asked; from making positive and long lasting changes in our life because they "rock the boat."
Fear causes us to make weak and irrational decisions that sell out our future for the sake of today. It takes our happiness, our sleep, our very life.
For the "patient" who finally admits they have a disease, there are cures for doubt and fear.
In her outstanding book, Conquer Fear!, Lisa Jimenez lists "The Seven Truths" that can help us overcome fear:
”Truth #1
Fear is the dominant problem in your life today.
Truth #2
Fear is a gift that was instilled in you as a means of protection and a way to bring you closer to God.
Truth #3
When you run from or deny your fear, you leave the gift unopened.
Truth #4
When your fear of success or fear of failure is exposed, you break through their control over you.
Truth #5
Your belief system is the driving force behind your behaviors and your results.
Truth #6
Your everyday habits are broadcasting your belief system, your fear, and your unmet needs loud and clear.
Truth #7
Change your beliefs and you change your behaviors. Change your behaviors and you change your results. Change your results and you change your life.”
And that's worth thinking about.
- Vic Johnson
- By Vic Johnson
“He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure.” - As A Man Thinketh
I have come to believe that the greatest diseases of mankind are doubt and fear. That's not to lessen the seriousness of some of our other afflictions, but doubt and fear rob more people of more life than all the other diseases of the world put together.
Why do I think they're diseases? Well they're acquired, we weren't born with them. They're communicable - much of the time they're passed from one person to the next. But even more clear is the Merriam-Webster dictionary which says a disease is "a condition of the living animal...that impairs normal functioning." Sounds like fear and doubt to me.
Doubt keeps us from going for the promotion that we certainly would have gotten had we gone for it; from asking for the big order that the next person got because they asked; from making positive and long lasting changes in our life because they "rock the boat."
Fear causes us to make weak and irrational decisions that sell out our future for the sake of today. It takes our happiness, our sleep, our very life.
For the "patient" who finally admits they have a disease, there are cures for doubt and fear.
In her outstanding book, Conquer Fear!, Lisa Jimenez lists "The Seven Truths" that can help us overcome fear:
”Truth #1
Fear is the dominant problem in your life today.
Truth #2
Fear is a gift that was instilled in you as a means of protection and a way to bring you closer to God.
Truth #3
When you run from or deny your fear, you leave the gift unopened.
Truth #4
When your fear of success or fear of failure is exposed, you break through their control over you.
Truth #5
Your belief system is the driving force behind your behaviors and your results.
Truth #6
Your everyday habits are broadcasting your belief system, your fear, and your unmet needs loud and clear.
Truth #7
Change your beliefs and you change your behaviors. Change your behaviors and you change your results. Change your results and you change your life.”
And that's worth thinking about.
- Vic Johnson
ALWAYS TRY TO DO YOUR BEST AT EVERYTHING
--------------------------------------------------
Make it your life rule of living to always do your best. It's your constant effort to be first-class in everything you attempt that will help you conquer the heights of excellence. Let superiority become your trademark.
Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can. There is always a best way of doing everything. Find it.
Do a little more than average and from that point on your progress multiplies itself
out of all proportion to the effort you put out.
Do more than you're supposed to do and you can have or be or do anything you want.
If you want to enjoy enduring success, try traveling a little in advance of the rest of the world. Your greatness will come from being great in the little things.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Make it your life rule of living to always do your best. It's your constant effort to be first-class in everything you attempt that will help you conquer the heights of excellence. Let superiority become your trademark.
Do a little more each day than you think you possibly can. There is always a best way of doing everything. Find it.
Do a little more than average and from that point on your progress multiplies itself
out of all proportion to the effort you put out.
Do more than you're supposed to do and you can have or be or do anything you want.
If you want to enjoy enduring success, try traveling a little in advance of the rest of the world. Your greatness will come from being great in the little things.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Finding Meaning In Flames
---------------------------------------------------------
Candle Rituals
Most people unknowingly perform their first candle ritual at a very young age, on their first or second birthday they are able to make a sincere wish as they blow out the candles on their birthday cake. Since ancient times, candles have held a place in the ceremonies and rituals of innumerable cultures. Candlelight not only illuminates, but transforms the atmosphere. It can make a setting mysterious or meditative, invoke inward reflection, or mesmerize. The flickering flame of a candle can inspire focus, helping us concentrate on our hopes and dreams and snuffing out a candle can be a significant act. Because of this, the variety of candle rituals performed today are both the result of thousands of years of tradition as well as the innovation of many souls. It is just as appropriate to invent your own rituals as it is to borrow those used by others.
Candles, both those assigned special meaning and the simple white variety, can be used in rituals of healing, gathering, wishing, or any type of ritual your mind can conceive. The ritual may be easy or as complicated as you want. A good beginning point is choosing a candle of an appropriate color. Many people believe that white candles bring truth, green money, pink love, purple ambition, orange attraction, and red strength, but you may choose any color that you find meaningful. A simple wishing ritual is similar to the birthday ritual: light your candle and spend some time concentrating both on its flame and what you desire. Look into the flame and visualize the end result until you believe in its truth. Then gratefully and gently extinguish the flame. A longer ritual involves anointing the candle with oil and making seven notches in the wax. Place the candle in a sturdy holder and light it. Concentrate on a goal, a desire, or a truth as the candle burns down one notch. Do this every night until the candle has burned out. You can also invent new rituals for yourself with a little creativity.
Candle rituals have been used by cultures as diverse as the Egyptians, the Chinese, and the Celtic peoples for a variety of purposes. You may feel that in performing your candle ritual you are able to connect with the ancient, slow, and wise rhythms of the past or that you are carving a new path into the future. Either way, each candle you burn will fuel your inner fire and help you discover what is possible.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Candle Rituals
Most people unknowingly perform their first candle ritual at a very young age, on their first or second birthday they are able to make a sincere wish as they blow out the candles on their birthday cake. Since ancient times, candles have held a place in the ceremonies and rituals of innumerable cultures. Candlelight not only illuminates, but transforms the atmosphere. It can make a setting mysterious or meditative, invoke inward reflection, or mesmerize. The flickering flame of a candle can inspire focus, helping us concentrate on our hopes and dreams and snuffing out a candle can be a significant act. Because of this, the variety of candle rituals performed today are both the result of thousands of years of tradition as well as the innovation of many souls. It is just as appropriate to invent your own rituals as it is to borrow those used by others.
Candles, both those assigned special meaning and the simple white variety, can be used in rituals of healing, gathering, wishing, or any type of ritual your mind can conceive. The ritual may be easy or as complicated as you want. A good beginning point is choosing a candle of an appropriate color. Many people believe that white candles bring truth, green money, pink love, purple ambition, orange attraction, and red strength, but you may choose any color that you find meaningful. A simple wishing ritual is similar to the birthday ritual: light your candle and spend some time concentrating both on its flame and what you desire. Look into the flame and visualize the end result until you believe in its truth. Then gratefully and gently extinguish the flame. A longer ritual involves anointing the candle with oil and making seven notches in the wax. Place the candle in a sturdy holder and light it. Concentrate on a goal, a desire, or a truth as the candle burns down one notch. Do this every night until the candle has burned out. You can also invent new rituals for yourself with a little creativity.
Candle rituals have been used by cultures as diverse as the Egyptians, the Chinese, and the Celtic peoples for a variety of purposes. You may feel that in performing your candle ritual you are able to connect with the ancient, slow, and wise rhythms of the past or that you are carving a new path into the future. Either way, each candle you burn will fuel your inner fire and help you discover what is possible.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Top 10 Things Every Business
Should Provide For Every Worker
----------------------------------------------------
– By Philip E. Humbert
Doing business and meeting the needs of workers is increasingly complex. Employees and managers often prefer a cafeteria-list of fringe benefits (a "flexible spending account") so they can choose increased health care, child care or more time off as their individual preferences dictate. But underneath these specifics, there are central needs that most of us want from our work. Monëy can not buy happiness, and by itself it will rarely purchase a loyal, highly motivated staff (even in a one-person professional office or small family business).
1. Creativity. Every human being has a need to decorate their own office, find their own way to do their assigned task, and have their creativity be recognized. In the sense that all of us are somewhat lazy, often allowing and encouraging "creative laziness" can lead to not only happier employees, but a healthier bottom line.
2. Contribution. Managers have always known that every worker must contribute to the bottom line, but increasingly staff at every level want to know that their suggestions, their efforts, energy and loyalty contribute to the company in many other ways. From the old suggestion box, to recent Quality Circles, every member needs to know that they contribute and that their contributions are valued.
3. Community. The workplace is increasingly a one-stop source of friendships, exercise clubs, day care, health care and anxiety. If you and your staff aren't able to foster a sense of community and teamwork in the midst of a highly mobile, competitive and insecure world, perförmance will immediately suffer.
4. Personal Development. As out-sourcing and mobility increase, the best and the brightest are increasingly clear that the work they do must strengthen, enrich, and enhance their lives far beyond a simple paycheck. From team building and communication skills, to new technical skills, every member of your business must know that they are growing, becoming stronger and healthier, or they will quickly grow restless.
5. Professional Development. This actually comes after Personal Development. In the past, industrial bosses needed welders or drivers or clerks, and employees were expected to come to the job with these skills. Today, business requires skills that didn't exist even 3 years ago! Asking the boss to manage with last year's reporting system, or your säles force to sell with last year's website or accounting to get by with an early version of Lotus 123, is asking for bad information, bad decisions, frustration, low morale and high turnover.
6. Challenge. For work to be alive and vibrant, it has to challenge us. From winning a säles contest, to solving international marketing and financial problems, we all love a challenge! Make sure you and your staff understand the "next big thing" and understand that you have confidence in them and will give them the support they need to meet and conquer the challenges ahead.
7. Personal Recognition. While most projects involve teamwork and cooperation across networks, in the end, each individual needs to know that their contribution is recognized, appreciated and rewarded. Often sole-proprietors and professionals in independent practice are the worst offenders! Stop and recognize your own achievements, pat yourself on the back, and share that recognition with others whenever and wherever it is appropriate!
8. Financial Rewards. This is the old (misused and misunderstood) standby. Business has always used incentives, bonuses, competitions and rewards to motivate productive behavior. Unfortunately, in many cases it backfires! The old rule was: pay as little as possible for labor. The new rule: pay as much as you possibly can to hire, train, and retain the very best! Reward yourself and your staff generously and often. It doesn't cost, it pays!
9. Clear vision. From the CEO to the newest trainee, we are all bombarded with so much information, so many messages and so many demands that keeping a clear vision, staying "on message" is increasingly difficult. What, precisely, is each staff member's number one priority? Do you know? Do THEY know? What is the company's primary mission? Confusion about expectations is the number one killer of productivity. Have a target, and make sure everyone knows their responsibility to hit it...every time!
10. Civility and Mutual Respect. I recently saw a news show about an office where "practical jokes," bias, discrimination and "hazing" were rampant. Of course they are being sued! It's increasingly clear that few businesses can technically meet all of the various rules, regulatïons and court decisions about employment. It's also clear that in most cases, employees don't want to sue or even complain. Most people want to do a good job in a safe, clean and supportive environment, and they want to know that they and their work are respected. The real "bottom line" is
common decency and doing the right thing.
© Copyright 2000 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. By Dr Philip E. Humbert, author, speaker and personal success coach. Dr Humbert has hundreds of tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use for your own success! It's a great resource! Visit him on the web at: http://www.philiphumbert.com. And, be sure to sign up for his great newsletter!
----------------------------------------------------
– By Philip E. Humbert
Doing business and meeting the needs of workers is increasingly complex. Employees and managers often prefer a cafeteria-list of fringe benefits (a "flexible spending account") so they can choose increased health care, child care or more time off as their individual preferences dictate. But underneath these specifics, there are central needs that most of us want from our work. Monëy can not buy happiness, and by itself it will rarely purchase a loyal, highly motivated staff (even in a one-person professional office or small family business).
1. Creativity. Every human being has a need to decorate their own office, find their own way to do their assigned task, and have their creativity be recognized. In the sense that all of us are somewhat lazy, often allowing and encouraging "creative laziness" can lead to not only happier employees, but a healthier bottom line.
2. Contribution. Managers have always known that every worker must contribute to the bottom line, but increasingly staff at every level want to know that their suggestions, their efforts, energy and loyalty contribute to the company in many other ways. From the old suggestion box, to recent Quality Circles, every member needs to know that they contribute and that their contributions are valued.
3. Community. The workplace is increasingly a one-stop source of friendships, exercise clubs, day care, health care and anxiety. If you and your staff aren't able to foster a sense of community and teamwork in the midst of a highly mobile, competitive and insecure world, perförmance will immediately suffer.
4. Personal Development. As out-sourcing and mobility increase, the best and the brightest are increasingly clear that the work they do must strengthen, enrich, and enhance their lives far beyond a simple paycheck. From team building and communication skills, to new technical skills, every member of your business must know that they are growing, becoming stronger and healthier, or they will quickly grow restless.
5. Professional Development. This actually comes after Personal Development. In the past, industrial bosses needed welders or drivers or clerks, and employees were expected to come to the job with these skills. Today, business requires skills that didn't exist even 3 years ago! Asking the boss to manage with last year's reporting system, or your säles force to sell with last year's website or accounting to get by with an early version of Lotus 123, is asking for bad information, bad decisions, frustration, low morale and high turnover.
6. Challenge. For work to be alive and vibrant, it has to challenge us. From winning a säles contest, to solving international marketing and financial problems, we all love a challenge! Make sure you and your staff understand the "next big thing" and understand that you have confidence in them and will give them the support they need to meet and conquer the challenges ahead.
7. Personal Recognition. While most projects involve teamwork and cooperation across networks, in the end, each individual needs to know that their contribution is recognized, appreciated and rewarded. Often sole-proprietors and professionals in independent practice are the worst offenders! Stop and recognize your own achievements, pat yourself on the back, and share that recognition with others whenever and wherever it is appropriate!
8. Financial Rewards. This is the old (misused and misunderstood) standby. Business has always used incentives, bonuses, competitions and rewards to motivate productive behavior. Unfortunately, in many cases it backfires! The old rule was: pay as little as possible for labor. The new rule: pay as much as you possibly can to hire, train, and retain the very best! Reward yourself and your staff generously and often. It doesn't cost, it pays!
9. Clear vision. From the CEO to the newest trainee, we are all bombarded with so much information, so many messages and so many demands that keeping a clear vision, staying "on message" is increasingly difficult. What, precisely, is each staff member's number one priority? Do you know? Do THEY know? What is the company's primary mission? Confusion about expectations is the number one killer of productivity. Have a target, and make sure everyone knows their responsibility to hit it...every time!
10. Civility and Mutual Respect. I recently saw a news show about an office where "practical jokes," bias, discrimination and "hazing" were rampant. Of course they are being sued! It's increasingly clear that few businesses can technically meet all of the various rules, regulatïons and court decisions about employment. It's also clear that in most cases, employees don't want to sue or even complain. Most people want to do a good job in a safe, clean and supportive environment, and they want to know that they and their work are respected. The real "bottom line" is
common decency and doing the right thing.
© Copyright 2000 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. By Dr Philip E. Humbert, author, speaker and personal success coach. Dr Humbert has hundreds of tips, tools and articles on his website that you can use for your own success! It's a great resource! Visit him on the web at: http://www.philiphumbert.com. And, be sure to sign up for his great newsletter!
BELIEF MAKES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE
---------------------------------------------------
In order to succeed, you must first believe you can. The only thing that stands between you and what you want from life, is the will to try it and the faith to believe that it's possible.
The only true limit to your realization of tomorrow will be your doubts of today. The moment you carry the conviction of belief, in that moment your dream will become reality.
You can, if you think you can.
©2005 by Max Steingart
In order to succeed, you must first believe you can. The only thing that stands between you and what you want from life, is the will to try it and the faith to believe that it's possible.
The only true limit to your realization of tomorrow will be your doubts of today. The moment you carry the conviction of belief, in that moment your dream will become reality.
You can, if you think you can.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Time To Integrate
-----------------------------------------------------
Spiritual Plateaus
It is a natural part of spiritual development to have periods of activity and growth followed by periods of relative quiet. Sometimes we need to rest in order to integrate a new vision of the world, or ourselves, taking time to assimilate new realizations and to let old patterns and habits fall away. The purpose of times like these is to stabilize our new growth. While it may appear that nothing is happening, these can be necessary periods of rest and integration.
Sometimes, though, slow growth or no growth can actually be stagnation. We may have become attached to keeping things as they are, afraid to invite more change. And yet, change is the nature of reality and when we resist it, we fall out of sync with what is. Just as a plateau is a good place to get our bearings, to see where we've come from and where we might go next, it is also a place we must not be afraid to leave if we are to move to the next level.
There is a Zen expression: Practice as if your hair were on fire. What this is meant to inspire is the sense that there is no good time not to be on your spiritual path. This doesn't mean that you can't ever rest, or stop. It is not about overachieving or overworking yourself. It is just about challenging yourself to always be awake in your life, to keep showing up in the moment. If you need to rest, rest in the moment. But if you are stagnating-numbing out, escaping, or being unconscious-it is up to you to acknowledge it.
Often, stagnation settles in just before an important breakthrough. It may be a symptom of fear, one last wall thrown up by our small self in order to protect us from a life-changing realization. Sometimes it helps to explore the stagnation in order to move beyond it. Have compassion for yourself as you work to remove the obstacles to your progress. With persistence, you will be on your way to the next plateau.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Spiritual Plateaus
It is a natural part of spiritual development to have periods of activity and growth followed by periods of relative quiet. Sometimes we need to rest in order to integrate a new vision of the world, or ourselves, taking time to assimilate new realizations and to let old patterns and habits fall away. The purpose of times like these is to stabilize our new growth. While it may appear that nothing is happening, these can be necessary periods of rest and integration.
Sometimes, though, slow growth or no growth can actually be stagnation. We may have become attached to keeping things as they are, afraid to invite more change. And yet, change is the nature of reality and when we resist it, we fall out of sync with what is. Just as a plateau is a good place to get our bearings, to see where we've come from and where we might go next, it is also a place we must not be afraid to leave if we are to move to the next level.
There is a Zen expression: Practice as if your hair were on fire. What this is meant to inspire is the sense that there is no good time not to be on your spiritual path. This doesn't mean that you can't ever rest, or stop. It is not about overachieving or overworking yourself. It is just about challenging yourself to always be awake in your life, to keep showing up in the moment. If you need to rest, rest in the moment. But if you are stagnating-numbing out, escaping, or being unconscious-it is up to you to acknowledge it.
Often, stagnation settles in just before an important breakthrough. It may be a symptom of fear, one last wall thrown up by our small self in order to protect us from a life-changing realization. Sometimes it helps to explore the stagnation in order to move beyond it. Have compassion for yourself as you work to remove the obstacles to your progress. With persistence, you will be on your way to the next plateau.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
What's Stopping You?
----------------------------------------------------
– By Beth Burns
“Always know in your heart that you are far bïgger than anything that can happen to you.” – Dan Zadra
You've heard if before... sometimes, bad things happen to good people. People get sick, losë jobs, get divorced, have financial problems, raise troubled kids, suffer from depression and there are a multitude of other things that can go wrong in life. Sooner or later we all face some kind of trouble.
What does it take to get past some of the heartache that we all surely experience? I recently saw the movie “Men of Honor” and was engrossed with one man's quest to be all he could be in his life. Many seemingly insurmountable obstacles were thrown in his path and, yet, he kept finding ways to go where he wanted life to take him.
What does it take to keep the faith, find the good in circumstances and continue on your journey through life? In my work as a coach, and from personal experience, I have found it takes healthy doses of the following elements to press on.
1. A sense of purpose. People who continue on know who they are and what they bring to the table. They also know that success is cumulative and that a person is not the sum of his successes or failures, but rather a total sum of his how his mind, body and spirit operate.
“Self-esteem--an estimation of who I am apart from what I do.” – Nathaniel Branden
2. The ability to see the big picture and keep a positive attitude. Troubles and turmoil are often the steppingstones to greater and bïgger dreams. This is difficult to see in the midst of trouble, but having even the smallest mustard seed of faith will help propel you forward. Think positive!
No pessimist ever discovered the secrët of the stars, or sailed to uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit. – Helen Keller
3. Perseverance and support. When you know who you are meant to be, the only way to be that person is to keep pressing on. Find a way. If there is not a path, then make one. And don't go it alone. Get the support you need. Find someone you trust. Ask for their feedback and support. Why make life harder than it has to be? When you go it alone, you make it that way.
Keep on keepin' on!
“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.” – John Quincy Adams
“It's nevër too late to be what you might have been.” – George Elliot
I urge you nöw to take some to time to reflect and do a check-in with who you are. Are you happy with yourself? Are you in integrity? Who do you want to be? If something or someone has been stopping you from taking the above steps, just simply begin and watch what comes your way. Be true to who you are and expect to have a delightful future!
About the Author
Beth Burns is a Professional Life Coach -- partnering with motivated people on their personal and professional goals. Her mission is to teach people to love themselves and love their life! She offers two frëe email newsletters and can be visited on the web at http://www.BrightSideCoaching.com. She can also be reached by calling 678-938-0419 or by email Beth@BrightSideCoaching.com
– By Beth Burns
“Always know in your heart that you are far bïgger than anything that can happen to you.” – Dan Zadra
You've heard if before... sometimes, bad things happen to good people. People get sick, losë jobs, get divorced, have financial problems, raise troubled kids, suffer from depression and there are a multitude of other things that can go wrong in life. Sooner or later we all face some kind of trouble.
What does it take to get past some of the heartache that we all surely experience? I recently saw the movie “Men of Honor” and was engrossed with one man's quest to be all he could be in his life. Many seemingly insurmountable obstacles were thrown in his path and, yet, he kept finding ways to go where he wanted life to take him.
What does it take to keep the faith, find the good in circumstances and continue on your journey through life? In my work as a coach, and from personal experience, I have found it takes healthy doses of the following elements to press on.
1. A sense of purpose. People who continue on know who they are and what they bring to the table. They also know that success is cumulative and that a person is not the sum of his successes or failures, but rather a total sum of his how his mind, body and spirit operate.
“Self-esteem--an estimation of who I am apart from what I do.” – Nathaniel Branden
2. The ability to see the big picture and keep a positive attitude. Troubles and turmoil are often the steppingstones to greater and bïgger dreams. This is difficult to see in the midst of trouble, but having even the smallest mustard seed of faith will help propel you forward. Think positive!
No pessimist ever discovered the secrët of the stars, or sailed to uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit. – Helen Keller
3. Perseverance and support. When you know who you are meant to be, the only way to be that person is to keep pressing on. Find a way. If there is not a path, then make one. And don't go it alone. Get the support you need. Find someone you trust. Ask for their feedback and support. Why make life harder than it has to be? When you go it alone, you make it that way.
Keep on keepin' on!
“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.” – John Quincy Adams
“It's nevër too late to be what you might have been.” – George Elliot
I urge you nöw to take some to time to reflect and do a check-in with who you are. Are you happy with yourself? Are you in integrity? Who do you want to be? If something or someone has been stopping you from taking the above steps, just simply begin and watch what comes your way. Be true to who you are and expect to have a delightful future!
About the Author
Beth Burns is a Professional Life Coach -- partnering with motivated people on their personal and professional goals. Her mission is to teach people to love themselves and love their life! She offers two frëe email newsletters and can be visited on the web at http://www.BrightSideCoaching.com. She can also be reached by calling 678-938-0419 or by email Beth@BrightSideCoaching.com
IT'S ALWAYS YOUR NEXT MOVE
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The keys to your universe lie with the choices you make. You don't have to buy from anyone or work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose.
The choice is always yours. You hold the tiller. You steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today, tomorrow, or in a distant time to come.
You can at any time decide to alter the course of your life. No one can ever take that away from you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The keys to your universe lie with the choices you make. You don't have to buy from anyone or work at any particular job. You don't have to participate in any given relationship. You can choose.
The choice is always yours. You hold the tiller. You steer the course you choose in the direction of where you want to be today, tomorrow, or in a distant time to come.
You can at any time decide to alter the course of your life. No one can ever take that away from you.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, August 08, 2005
Let It Begin With You
-----------------------------------------------------
Being The Change At Your Workplace
No matter where you work, chances are there's room for improvement. Let change begin with you. No matter what your position is, you can be the catalyst for positive change in your workplace.
Let your employer or supervisor know that you'd be interested in organizing teams to enhance the work environment. Most employers will be open to this because it doesn't cost them anything. Talk about what changes you feel would benefit the company. Have a plan of action to present how positive changes such as fund raising, neighborhood clean up, or group yoga, could easily be instituted.
Going "green" is easier than most people think. Advocate for the use of natural cleaning products and the use of recycled materials at your workplace. Many places already have recycling programs, but if yours doesn't, it's easy to start one. Volunteer to be in charge of arranging for the pick up of paper, cardboard, cans, and bottles. Then set out marked containers for each item. This is all that most people need to cooperate in a recycling program. Also, look into programs that recycle computers and printer cartridges.
Encourage community involvement by starting food, clothing, and toy drives. Get walk teams together to fund raise for the many charity walks that happen several times a year. Enjoy fresh air and get some exercise during lunch by gardening and picking up trash around the neighborhood. You might even get together a group of volunteers to tutor children or start a mentor program at your work. Not only will you and your co-workers be giving back to your community, but you'll be building team spirit for a better work environment.
Working conditions are enhanced by creating a family atmosphere. Organize monthly potluck lunches or if your work place has a kitchen, take turns cooking. Encourage "veggie" lunches once a week. Instead of coffee breaks, lead your co-workers in yoga breaks, group walks, or a ten minute meditation.
Even if you can't implement big changes, you can be the positive change in your work place with your attitude of peace and cooperation. Start with small improvements and watch the joy spread. Be the change.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Being The Change At Your Workplace
No matter where you work, chances are there's room for improvement. Let change begin with you. No matter what your position is, you can be the catalyst for positive change in your workplace.
Let your employer or supervisor know that you'd be interested in organizing teams to enhance the work environment. Most employers will be open to this because it doesn't cost them anything. Talk about what changes you feel would benefit the company. Have a plan of action to present how positive changes such as fund raising, neighborhood clean up, or group yoga, could easily be instituted.
Going "green" is easier than most people think. Advocate for the use of natural cleaning products and the use of recycled materials at your workplace. Many places already have recycling programs, but if yours doesn't, it's easy to start one. Volunteer to be in charge of arranging for the pick up of paper, cardboard, cans, and bottles. Then set out marked containers for each item. This is all that most people need to cooperate in a recycling program. Also, look into programs that recycle computers and printer cartridges.
Encourage community involvement by starting food, clothing, and toy drives. Get walk teams together to fund raise for the many charity walks that happen several times a year. Enjoy fresh air and get some exercise during lunch by gardening and picking up trash around the neighborhood. You might even get together a group of volunteers to tutor children or start a mentor program at your work. Not only will you and your co-workers be giving back to your community, but you'll be building team spirit for a better work environment.
Working conditions are enhanced by creating a family atmosphere. Organize monthly potluck lunches or if your work place has a kitchen, take turns cooking. Encourage "veggie" lunches once a week. Instead of coffee breaks, lead your co-workers in yoga breaks, group walks, or a ten minute meditation.
Even if you can't implement big changes, you can be the positive change in your work place with your attitude of peace and cooperation. Start with small improvements and watch the joy spread. Be the change.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
The Old Man and his Shoe
------------------------------------------------------
- Author Unknown
One day an old man boarded a bus. As he was going up the steps, one of his shoes slipped off. The door closed and the bus moved off so he was unable to retrieve it. The old man calmly took off his other shoe and threw it out of the window.
A young man on the bus saw what happened, and could not help going up to the old man and asking, "I noticed what you did, sir. Why did you throw out your other shoe?"
The old man promptly replied, "So that whoever finds them will be able to use them. "
The old man in the story understood a fundamental philosophy for life - do not hold on to something simply for the sake of possessing it or because you do not wish others to have it.
We lose things all the time.
The loss may seem to us grievous and unjust initially, but loss only happens so that positive changes can occur in our lives. We should not always assume that losing
something is bad, because if things do not shift, we'll never become better people or experience better things.
That's not to say of course that we only lose "bad" things; it simply means that in order for us to mature emotionally and spiritually, and for us to contribute to the world, the interchange between loss and gain is necessary.
Like the old man in the story, we have to learn to let go.
The world had decided that it was time for the old man to lose his shoe.
Maybe this happened to add momentum to a series of events leading to a better pair of shoes for the old man.
Maybe the search for another pair of shoes would lead
the old man to a great benefactor.
Maybe the world decided that someone else needed the shoes more.
Whatever the reason, we can't avoid losing things. The old man understood this. One of his shoes had one out of his reach. The remaining shoe would not have been much help to him, but it would be a cherished gift to a homeless person desperately in need of protection from the ground.
Hoarding possessions does nothing to make the world better or us. We all have to decide constantly if some things or people have run their course in our lives or would be better off with others. We then have to master the courage to give them away.
- Author Unknown
- Author Unknown
One day an old man boarded a bus. As he was going up the steps, one of his shoes slipped off. The door closed and the bus moved off so he was unable to retrieve it. The old man calmly took off his other shoe and threw it out of the window.
A young man on the bus saw what happened, and could not help going up to the old man and asking, "I noticed what you did, sir. Why did you throw out your other shoe?"
The old man promptly replied, "So that whoever finds them will be able to use them. "
The old man in the story understood a fundamental philosophy for life - do not hold on to something simply for the sake of possessing it or because you do not wish others to have it.
We lose things all the time.
The loss may seem to us grievous and unjust initially, but loss only happens so that positive changes can occur in our lives. We should not always assume that losing
something is bad, because if things do not shift, we'll never become better people or experience better things.
That's not to say of course that we only lose "bad" things; it simply means that in order for us to mature emotionally and spiritually, and for us to contribute to the world, the interchange between loss and gain is necessary.
Like the old man in the story, we have to learn to let go.
The world had decided that it was time for the old man to lose his shoe.
Maybe this happened to add momentum to a series of events leading to a better pair of shoes for the old man.
Maybe the search for another pair of shoes would lead
the old man to a great benefactor.
Maybe the world decided that someone else needed the shoes more.
Whatever the reason, we can't avoid losing things. The old man understood this. One of his shoes had one out of his reach. The remaining shoe would not have been much help to him, but it would be a cherished gift to a homeless person desperately in need of protection from the ground.
Hoarding possessions does nothing to make the world better or us. We all have to decide constantly if some things or people have run their course in our lives or would be better off with others. We then have to master the courage to give them away.
- Author Unknown
IT'S NEVER OVER UNTIL IT'S OVER
-------------------------------------------------
The power to hold on in spite of everything, to endure, this is the quality of a winner. Your greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fail.
It's your constant and determined effort that will eventually break down all resistance and sweep away all the barriers before you. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that's necessary to reach your goal.
All great achievements require time. Endurance is the crowning quality of success.
©2005 by Max Steingart
The power to hold on in spite of everything, to endure, this is the quality of a winner. Your greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time you fail.
It's your constant and determined effort that will eventually break down all resistance and sweep away all the barriers before you. Persistence means taking pains to overcome every obstacle, to do all that's necessary to reach your goal.
All great achievements require time. Endurance is the crowning quality of success.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, August 05, 2005
Breaking The Wave
--------------------------------------------------
The Tipping Point
Those who desire change are often counseled to expect small transformations and rewards that reveal themselves slowly. And the most profound adjustments in how people perceive the world often do occur gradually, with clear relationships between the cause and the effect. But ideas can literally be contagious, spreading little by little from one individual to another, with no noticeable societal change. No large-scale change, that is, until a critical mass has been reached. At that point, the tipping point, change is accelerated and rushes forward, almost unstoppable. The idea can be something concrete, such as the widespread interest in a fad, or something more cerebral, such as growing spirituality, enlightenment, or experiencing an awakening of consciousness.
To visualize the tipping point, think of a wave composed of individual drops of water representing people. As people embrace a movement or method, be it Buddhism, yoga, a goddess, or meditation, they increase the wave. As more people benefit from it, the wave grows, until it reaches its peak and plunges forward, actively drawing people in, without their being aware of any change at all. At that point, the idea, social behavior, or trend begins to spread at an amazing rate. When applied to the context of an awakening conscious, one person may assist another in that awakening and they in turn may help another. But the spread will only progress from individual to individual until the tipping point is reached. When the critical mass is reached, it becomes almost futile to resist that awakening, and the whole of a group or even the whole of humanity may be transformed.
The tipping point is a period of change wherein a creative minority can make a tangible difference by spreading positive ideas to the majority. It only takes a single individual to tip the wave. In applying the concept of the tipping point to your own growth, it may be helpful to remember the power of one. It means no effort is useless, because it is contributing to a larger outcome, and that even small actions can produce profound changes.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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The Tipping Point
Those who desire change are often counseled to expect small transformations and rewards that reveal themselves slowly. And the most profound adjustments in how people perceive the world often do occur gradually, with clear relationships between the cause and the effect. But ideas can literally be contagious, spreading little by little from one individual to another, with no noticeable societal change. No large-scale change, that is, until a critical mass has been reached. At that point, the tipping point, change is accelerated and rushes forward, almost unstoppable. The idea can be something concrete, such as the widespread interest in a fad, or something more cerebral, such as growing spirituality, enlightenment, or experiencing an awakening of consciousness.
To visualize the tipping point, think of a wave composed of individual drops of water representing people. As people embrace a movement or method, be it Buddhism, yoga, a goddess, or meditation, they increase the wave. As more people benefit from it, the wave grows, until it reaches its peak and plunges forward, actively drawing people in, without their being aware of any change at all. At that point, the idea, social behavior, or trend begins to spread at an amazing rate. When applied to the context of an awakening conscious, one person may assist another in that awakening and they in turn may help another. But the spread will only progress from individual to individual until the tipping point is reached. When the critical mass is reached, it becomes almost futile to resist that awakening, and the whole of a group or even the whole of humanity may be transformed.
The tipping point is a period of change wherein a creative minority can make a tangible difference by spreading positive ideas to the majority. It only takes a single individual to tip the wave. In applying the concept of the tipping point to your own growth, it may be helpful to remember the power of one. It means no effort is useless, because it is contributing to a larger outcome, and that even small actions can produce profound changes.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
The Touchstone
----------------------------------------------------
- By Unknown Author
When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers.
The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!
The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.
So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.
He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.
The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about mid-afternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along he still threw it away.
So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.
- Author Unknown
- By Unknown Author
When the great library of Alexandria burned, the story goes, one book was saved. But it was not a valuable book; and so a poor man, who could read a little, bought it for a few coppers.
The book wasn't very interesting, but between its pages there was something very interesting indeed. It was a thin strip of vellum on which was written the secret of the "Touchstone"!
The touchstone was a small pebble that could turn any common metal into pure gold. The writing explained that it was lying among thousands and thousands of other pebbles that looked exactly like it. But the secret was this: The real stone would feel warm, while ordinary pebbles are cold.
So the man sold his few belongings, bought some simple supplies, camped on the seashore, and began testing pebbles.
He knew that if he picked up ordinary pebbles and threw them down again because they were cold, he might pick up the same pebble hundreds of times. So, when he felt one that was cold, he threw it into the sea. He spent a whole day doing this but none of them was the touchstone. Yet he went on and on this way. Pick up a pebble. Cold - throw it into the sea. Pick up another. Throw it into the sea.
The days stretched into weeks and the weeks into months. One day, however, about mid-afternoon, he picked up a pebble and it was warm. He threw it into the sea before he realized what he had done. He had formed such a strong habit of throwing each pebble into the sea that when the one he wanted came along he still threw it away.
So it is with opportunity. Unless we are vigilant, it's easy to fail to recognize an opportunity when it is in hand and it's just as easy to throw it away.
- Author Unknown
COURTESY OPENS ALL DOORS
-----------------------------------------------
There is no investment you'll ever make that will pay you so well as the effort to scatter sunshine and good cheer wherever you are.
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. If you treat an individual as if they were what they ought to be and could be, they will become what they ought to be and could be.
Everyone thrives on being appreciated, loved and needed. There is no stimulus like that which comes from the consciousness of knowing that others believe in you.
Applaud others when they run. Console them when they fail. And cheer them when they recover.
As water is to a flower, so is praise to the heart of another.
©2005 by Max Steingart
There is no investment you'll ever make that will pay you so well as the effort to scatter sunshine and good cheer wherever you are.
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. If you treat an individual as if they were what they ought to be and could be, they will become what they ought to be and could be.
Everyone thrives on being appreciated, loved and needed. There is no stimulus like that which comes from the consciousness of knowing that others believe in you.
Applaud others when they run. Console them when they fail. And cheer them when they recover.
As water is to a flower, so is praise to the heart of another.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Pet Medicine
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Animals As Healers
All pet owners have had, at one time or another, an experience in which their pet, whether golden retriever, kitten, horse, or iguana, recognized their suffering and offered comfort. Animals, both wild and domesticated, have the ability to sense changes in the body and mind and can positively influence humans in many ways. They can inspire playful thoughts in those discouraged and remind us of the need to nurture both ourselves and others. They can even affect profound physical changes in humans, by lowering our blood pressure and reducing stress. The gentle purring of a cat or a friendly nuzzle from a warm lizard can be a form of healing, and all animals, even those in the wild, are natural healers.
A house pet can tell you many things, if you observe. Your pet will choose to sleep in the places in your home that have the best energy and, when you're ill, may concentrate its attention on the area of your body that needs healing. Stroking soft fur, a smooth, scaly back, or downy feathers can enhance memory, shorten recovery time after an injury, help curb depression, open lines of communication, and even increase a person's chance of survival after a heart attack. For many years, schools, nursing homes, and even prisons have let their charges visit with specially trained animals periodically because a visit with a pet both calms and cheers people. With the elderly, the love of an animal can heighten cognitive ability, movement, and quality of life. Wild animals, too, have their own healing powers. The antics of a silly squirrel can lift the spirits while the industrious ant is an inspiration. A chance encounter with a dolphin or manatee can be life changing.
In mythology, the centaur was the keeper of the art of healing and the Egyptian god Anubis was the healer of the gods. It is not surprising that so many people keep pets or enjoy watching animals in nature. Animals transform us and their unique and beautiful modes of healing are as natural as they are.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Animals As Healers
All pet owners have had, at one time or another, an experience in which their pet, whether golden retriever, kitten, horse, or iguana, recognized their suffering and offered comfort. Animals, both wild and domesticated, have the ability to sense changes in the body and mind and can positively influence humans in many ways. They can inspire playful thoughts in those discouraged and remind us of the need to nurture both ourselves and others. They can even affect profound physical changes in humans, by lowering our blood pressure and reducing stress. The gentle purring of a cat or a friendly nuzzle from a warm lizard can be a form of healing, and all animals, even those in the wild, are natural healers.
A house pet can tell you many things, if you observe. Your pet will choose to sleep in the places in your home that have the best energy and, when you're ill, may concentrate its attention on the area of your body that needs healing. Stroking soft fur, a smooth, scaly back, or downy feathers can enhance memory, shorten recovery time after an injury, help curb depression, open lines of communication, and even increase a person's chance of survival after a heart attack. For many years, schools, nursing homes, and even prisons have let their charges visit with specially trained animals periodically because a visit with a pet both calms and cheers people. With the elderly, the love of an animal can heighten cognitive ability, movement, and quality of life. Wild animals, too, have their own healing powers. The antics of a silly squirrel can lift the spirits while the industrious ant is an inspiration. A chance encounter with a dolphin or manatee can be life changing.
In mythology, the centaur was the keeper of the art of healing and the Egyptian god Anubis was the healer of the gods. It is not surprising that so many people keep pets or enjoy watching animals in nature. Animals transform us and their unique and beautiful modes of healing are as natural as they are.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
How to Overcome Social Shyness & Discomfort
----------------------------------------------------
– By Dennis R. Tesdell
Shyness has many definitions, among which are bashful, wary, easily frightened, and timid. There are many degrees of shyness, and some people are only shy in special situations or circumstances. One of the most common places where people feel shy or timid is in a social setting. The following are some ways people having this problem can turn things around and even get over their shyness. It takes practice and determination, but for most people who conquer social shyness, it is well worth the effort.
1. If going into a new situation, rehearse what you will say to the new person or group of people. This will help you be more relaxed when the event comes.
2. Monitor your "self talk" which is negative. Saying to yourself "This will be scary, " "I will be nervous as always," etc. will do nothing but *reinforce* that in your mind. Control your self-talk and replace the negative statements or thoughts with "positives." Your mind can be programmed to act as your best ally or as your worst enemy. You are in control of your thoughts. Practice positive thinking and it will make a world of difference.
3. Learn to expect some rejections with people and not take them personally. People can "reject" you for many reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you! It is not pleasant to be rejected socially. If it bothers you, allow yourself to feel upset for a short time and then "let it go." Many others will accept you.
4. If you are trying to start a conversation, ask questïons which are a bit personal and cannot just be answered in one or two words. Other people love to talk about themselves and their projects.
5. Use good body language when talking or listening. This includes good eye contact. You can always look at other parts of the person's face besides their eyes. They can't tell the difference usually if you shift your gaze a bit. Smile and use other kinds of facial expressions to show your interest. Remember of course not to convey more interest in the person than you want. Eye contact can mean casual interest, intense friendly or business interest, or mild to intense romantic interest. Keep
that in mind!
6. Listen to the other person, then repeat (often called "reflecting") back to them the feelings you heard. Don't be a "parrot" and spit the words back verbatim. Add your own feelings about what was said, not necessarily your own opinions or ideas.
7. Practice your social skills in small steps. Set a goal to do a few things that are new or difficult for you, in a day or a week. Accept the fact that at first you will feel some nervousness. This is natural. Tell yourself it is nothing that will harm you and that what you are doing will become easier and easier each time. If you feel you are taking too large a step, back off a little and go more slowly. If you are consistent and add to your goals and successes weekly, you will reach your goals and find a "new you" when it comes to social skills.
About the Author:
Dennis R. Tesdell is a personal development and self-care coach with over 20 years of experience working with personal growth and self-development issues.
– By Dennis R. Tesdell
Shyness has many definitions, among which are bashful, wary, easily frightened, and timid. There are many degrees of shyness, and some people are only shy in special situations or circumstances. One of the most common places where people feel shy or timid is in a social setting. The following are some ways people having this problem can turn things around and even get over their shyness. It takes practice and determination, but for most people who conquer social shyness, it is well worth the effort.
1. If going into a new situation, rehearse what you will say to the new person or group of people. This will help you be more relaxed when the event comes.
2. Monitor your "self talk" which is negative. Saying to yourself "This will be scary, " "I will be nervous as always," etc. will do nothing but *reinforce* that in your mind. Control your self-talk and replace the negative statements or thoughts with "positives." Your mind can be programmed to act as your best ally or as your worst enemy. You are in control of your thoughts. Practice positive thinking and it will make a world of difference.
3. Learn to expect some rejections with people and not take them personally. People can "reject" you for many reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you! It is not pleasant to be rejected socially. If it bothers you, allow yourself to feel upset for a short time and then "let it go." Many others will accept you.
4. If you are trying to start a conversation, ask questïons which are a bit personal and cannot just be answered in one or two words. Other people love to talk about themselves and their projects.
5. Use good body language when talking or listening. This includes good eye contact. You can always look at other parts of the person's face besides their eyes. They can't tell the difference usually if you shift your gaze a bit. Smile and use other kinds of facial expressions to show your interest. Remember of course not to convey more interest in the person than you want. Eye contact can mean casual interest, intense friendly or business interest, or mild to intense romantic interest. Keep
that in mind!
6. Listen to the other person, then repeat (often called "reflecting") back to them the feelings you heard. Don't be a "parrot" and spit the words back verbatim. Add your own feelings about what was said, not necessarily your own opinions or ideas.
7. Practice your social skills in small steps. Set a goal to do a few things that are new or difficult for you, in a day or a week. Accept the fact that at first you will feel some nervousness. This is natural. Tell yourself it is nothing that will harm you and that what you are doing will become easier and easier each time. If you feel you are taking too large a step, back off a little and go more slowly. If you are consistent and add to your goals and successes weekly, you will reach your goals and find a "new you" when it comes to social skills.
About the Author:
Dennis R. Tesdell is a personal development and self-care coach with over 20 years of experience working with personal growth and self-development issues.
REALITY FORMS AROUND YOUR COMMITMENTS
------------------------------------------------
Desire is the starting point of achievement. Your desires are the precursors of the things which you are capable of doing or having. These desires can in time externalize themselves into concrete fact. Your intense anticipation itself will transform your possibilities into reality.
Weak desires will bring you weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat. If you just care enough for any result, you'll almost certainly attain it.
Nothing has more strength than dire necessity. The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.
If you have the will, you'll find a way.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Desire is the starting point of achievement. Your desires are the precursors of the things which you are capable of doing or having. These desires can in time externalize themselves into concrete fact. Your intense anticipation itself will transform your possibilities into reality.
Weak desires will bring you weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat. If you just care enough for any result, you'll almost certainly attain it.
Nothing has more strength than dire necessity. The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.
If you have the will, you'll find a way.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
Serenity Of Knowing
---------------------------------------------------
Acceptance
The world is a palette of varied beauty with subtle and not-so-subtle differences in brilliance and hue. But, like all we perceive subjectively, many things can fail to meet our expectations. People don't behave as we'd wish them to, situations turn out differently than we'd imagined, and the end result is often unhappiness. The remedy is acceptance - an open-minded, understanding perception that brings the serenity of knowing every individual, situation, or difficulty is unique and valuable in some way. It is a mode of respect for differences, of seeing beyond faults or disappointments and reaching contentment.
Though acceptance necessitates recognizing and acknowledging situations or attitudes that exist in the present, it does not imply that you need also give your approval. To approve or to disapprove is to judge, but in accepting, you simply understand that all situations and all people are in a constant state of flux. Likewise, each of us is also in the process of changing and by choosing to accept ourselves (in the past, present, and future); we can truly begin to understand who we really are. Acceptance is freedom from the need to retain preconceived notions, control of others, favored outcomes, or the anxiety that can come when the unexpected occurs. It is more than tolerance, though resisting the urge to react to the choices of others is a large part of the process. Rather it is a patience and gentleness that extends outward, beginning in one's own soul and extending to other people and the world at large.
Sometimes the process works in reverse because accepting others can be easier than accepting oneself, though the latter is the inevitable result of true acceptance. In fostering acceptance, the need to judge is quelled because the belief that others ought to live up to your expectations (or 'should thinking') is eliminated because everything is evolving and deserves to do so without interference. And in letting growth happen and understanding that each person, place, thing, or situation is as it is meant to be, a blissful quiet of the mind and strong feelings of worth can be realized.
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Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Acceptance
The world is a palette of varied beauty with subtle and not-so-subtle differences in brilliance and hue. But, like all we perceive subjectively, many things can fail to meet our expectations. People don't behave as we'd wish them to, situations turn out differently than we'd imagined, and the end result is often unhappiness. The remedy is acceptance - an open-minded, understanding perception that brings the serenity of knowing every individual, situation, or difficulty is unique and valuable in some way. It is a mode of respect for differences, of seeing beyond faults or disappointments and reaching contentment.
Though acceptance necessitates recognizing and acknowledging situations or attitudes that exist in the present, it does not imply that you need also give your approval. To approve or to disapprove is to judge, but in accepting, you simply understand that all situations and all people are in a constant state of flux. Likewise, each of us is also in the process of changing and by choosing to accept ourselves (in the past, present, and future); we can truly begin to understand who we really are. Acceptance is freedom from the need to retain preconceived notions, control of others, favored outcomes, or the anxiety that can come when the unexpected occurs. It is more than tolerance, though resisting the urge to react to the choices of others is a large part of the process. Rather it is a patience and gentleness that extends outward, beginning in one's own soul and extending to other people and the world at large.
Sometimes the process works in reverse because accepting others can be easier than accepting oneself, though the latter is the inevitable result of true acceptance. In fostering acceptance, the need to judge is quelled because the belief that others ought to live up to your expectations (or 'should thinking') is eliminated because everything is evolving and deserves to do so without interference. And in letting growth happen and understanding that each person, place, thing, or situation is as it is meant to be, a blissful quiet of the mind and strong feelings of worth can be realized.
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