Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Practical Ways to Avoid Burnout

and Put Fun Back Into Your Life
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– By Michael L. Stahl

Amazingly, the National Institute of Mental Health in the United States reports that more than 20 million Americans suffer from chronic nervousness, panic attacks and phobias. With the fast pace of modern day society, people seem to have less time and more frustrations - even with all the technology that is supposed to make our lives easier!

H.ere are four practical ways you can use in your everyday life to avoid and overcome burnout:

1. Start your day with the powerful positive input of high-energy music. Everyone enjoys different kinds of music so you need to use what YOU like. Just be sure you start the day listening to the kind of high-energy music that gets you PUMPED! It could be rock and roll or country or jazz or pop or whatever makes you feel GREAT about yourself. It is important to start the day off with positive energy and enthusiasm in order to effectively tackle the challenges that you might encounter. If you put yourself in a good mood before you have to deal with problems you could be facing, it makes the frustration much easier to handle.

It is not always easy to "hit the ground running,” especially at the start of the day, but you will feel better about yourself both personally and professionally. Research has shown that people who use high energy music to start their day and before they face challenging situations have increased productivity by as much as 200%!

2. Do not allow mistakes to ruin you. Do everything you possibly can to fix a problem with a client or associate in order to make them happy. After that, do not dwell on what went wrong, otherwise this can lead to decreased productivity and burnout. If you cannot get over something that went wrong in your life, remember this quote, "Do not blame yourself for past errors. You are no longer the same person who made them and you cannot blame a person who does not exist."

3. Get an "accountability partner" to help you stay focused. You can share with this person your needs, fears and victories. An accountability partner is someone you can trust and feel comfortable enough with to just "be yourself.” You should meet with this person at least once a week to talk about your goals, progress, set-backs and thoughts on your personal and professional life. Your accountability partner keeps you on track and moving forward in all aspects of your development. The friendship and discussion you share with this person will help you to look at things objectively, understand yourself better and be more well-rounded.

NOTE: An accountability partner should be a person other than your spouse or significant other.

4. See the funny side of life - allow yourself to laugh and enjoy life without being serious all the time. Laughter helps ease stress and bring mountains back down to mole hills where they belong. Learn to see humor in difficult situations. A good, hearty laugh is the best stress releaser of all. Give yourself and the people you work with a "laugh-a-day.” Put a "humor board" in your office. Have a designated bulletin board where anyone can post cartoons, jokes or even funny pictures. This gives everyone a chance to ease anxieties.

You can also use what can be called "comic memos." This is where you attach a funny cartoon to the routine, sometimes boring memos or pieces of paperwork that have to be given out. Another idea for easing tension is to choose various people in the office to take turns telling a "joke of the day." The more you laugh, the less you worry and the healthier you feel.

About the Author:

Michael L. Stahl is a professional speaker who has been featured in Entrepreneurial Edge Magazine and appeared on CNN Financial News. He delivers speeches and seminars that help organizations and individuals to 'Focus Your Power' for maximum productivity and well-balanced success. Get F’REE articles and subscribe to his F’REE motivational newsletter at http://www.michaelstahl.com

YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING

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You can have anything on earth that you want, once you mentally accept the fact that you can have it.

If you want to be successful, begin thinking of yourself as successful. The feeling of being successful has to come first. If you have a deep inner conviction that you will always have all that you need, if you actually feel prosperous, it will be so.

The only thing that stands between you and what you want from life is simply the will to pursue it and the faith to believe that it is possible.

Only your mind sets your limits.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Transforming Negative Into Positive

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Tonglen Meditation

Just as pain can grow exponentially, so can compassion and love be inspired in countless others. All it takes is a single individual who chooses to transform negative energy into goodness. One method of doing this is the Buddhist practice of tonglen meditation, wherein you consciously draw suffering into yourself and release positive energy with each focused breath. In the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, it is described as breathing in that which is to be healed and transforming it through the power of your own heart and the heart of Buddha. Then, in breathing out, you project that which was transformed in your heart into the hearts of others.

Earnest tonglen meditation begins when you release yourself from the misconception that it is of utmost importance to push negative things away while drawing good things to yourself. This may take ten or more minutes of meditation to clear the mind of distraction or simply preparing your mind by entering your stillest mental space and imagining your heart becoming free and full of love. Then, inhale with the awareness that you are bringing energy into yourself. Access your reference points for pain and for joy, acknowledge both, and recognize that you have the power to transform one into the other. Exhale with the awareness that you are projecting positive, loving energy throughout not only your immediate environment, but also the world.

Your first reaction to this practice may be that it is counter intuitive and this is a natural reaction. But tonglen revolves around balance, around giving and receiving. You cannot get lost in the negative aspects of the world, because in breathing out, you are a beacon of joy. Similarly, you cannot turn a blind eye to sorrow, because you bear its weight. Tonglen meditation can be practiced on a personal scale or a universal scale, depending on where you perceive immediate need.. It is as simple as breathing and yet, in practicing tonglen, you give the greatest gift you can: the gift of healing.

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Success Breeds Success

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- by Bruno Gideon

Waiting for success to automatically fall into your lap just doesn’t cut it. It only comes to those who are actively engaged in searching for new ideas, new possibilities, or new ways to improve their personal and professional life. And because many people are involved in the same search, we have to work at it a little harder.

Chance knocks at the door more often than we think, but most of the time nobody is home.
– Will Rogers

For true success ask yourself these four questions: “Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?"
– James Allen

Here is an interesting story. It’s about four colleagues: Anybody, Nobody, Somebody, and Everybody.

An important job had to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.

None of these sorry souls will ever be successful.

- Bruno Gideon

OPPORTUNITY LIES IN THE MIDST OF DIFFICULTY

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Every problem you encounter has hidden in it an opportunity so powerful that it literally dwarfs the problem. The greatest success stories were created by people
who recognized a problem and turned it into an opportunity.

You'll find that every situation, properly perceived, offers you an opportunity. As fast as each opportunity presents itself, use it. No matter how tiny an opportunity it may be, use it. You'll discover new directions when you have an open mind and a willing hand.

Successful people didn't achieve their distinction by having some new talent or opportunity presented to them. They developed an opportunity that was at hand.

You must make your own opportunities if you want to be successful. Opportunity is all around you.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Monday, June 20, 2005

Your Life Is Your Art

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Toltec Wisdom

The Toltec wisdom tradition originated in southern Mexico thousands of years ago. It has reemerged in recent years through many teachers, some who consider themselves direct descendents of the ancient Toltecs. This tradition is not considered a religion, but a philosophy accessible to anyone open to its insights.

The Toltec believe that this life is a dream, and that the dream we are having, which we consider reality, is created out of our beliefs and thoughts. Therefore, it is malleable. We can change it by changing our beliefs and thoughts. Deconstructing our current view of reality and understanding how that view forms our experience of reality is the primary work involved on the Toltec path.

For example, if you grew up in a family with a history of depression or repression, the chances are your reality is very influenced by ideas that perpetuate those conditions. Many of the ideas we hold to be truth were passed on to us before we had the capacity to question them and they took hold in our consciousness by default. Once we begin to understand this, we can release thoughts and beliefs that cause suffering, knowing that they are not the truth.

You can begin this journey by examining the set of beliefs under which you currently operate. Notice if any of them make you feel restricted, unhappy, or depressed. This is your intuition telling you that something is not right. Question those beliefs. Trust your innate ability to know the truth when you see it. As we methodically dismantle our belief systems, we begin to experience newfound personal freedom, one of the key tenets of the Toltec Way. It is this freedom that enables us to see that we are artists capable of creating our own lives.

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Keep Your Goals in Sight

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- by Unknown Author

When she looked ahead, Florence Chadwick saw nothing but a solid wall of fog. Her body was numb. She had been swimming for nearly sixteen hours.

Already she was the first woman to swim the English Channel in both directions. Now, at age 34, her goal was to become the first woman to swim from Catalina Island to the California coast. On that Fourth of July morning in 1952, the sea was like an ice bath and the fog was so dense she could hardly see her support boats. Sharks cruised toward her lone figure, only to be driven away by rifle shots. Against the frigid grip of the sea, she struggled on - hour after hour - while millions watched on national television.

Alongside Florence in one of the boats, her mother and her trainer offered encouragement. They told her it wasn't much farther. But all she could see was fog. They urged her not to quit. She never had . . . until then. With only a half mile to go, she asked to be pulled out. Still thawing her chilled body several hours later, she told a reporter, "Look, I'm not excusing myself, but if I could have seen land I might have made it." It was not fatigue or even the cold water that defeated her. It was the fog. She was unable to see her goal.

Two months later, she tried again. This time, despite the same dense fog, she swam with her faith intact and her goal clearly pictured in her mind. She knew that
somewhere behind that fog was land and this time she made it! Florence Chadwick became the first woman to swim the Catalina Channel, eclipsing the men's record by two hours!

- Unknown Author

YOU'RE THE MASTER OF YOUR FATE

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Nature is at work around you. Character and destiny are her handiwork. She gives you love and hate, jealousy and reverence. You have the power to choose which impulses you will follow.

Your character is formed by your circumstances, but your own desires can do much to shape those circumstances. What's really ennobling in the doctrine of free will
is the conviction that you have the power over the formation of your own character.

You can at any time decide to alter the course of your life. No one can ever take that away from you. You're the master or your joys and sorrows. The greatest power you possess is the power to choose.

You're the captain of your soul.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Friday, June 17, 2005

Clarification Through Reflection

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Examining Priorities

There are many sources of strife that are intertwined with simply existing in the modern world today. We feel burdened with too many physical possessions or deprived without them, and there are so many reasons to worry. Following are some exercises you can try to help bring clarification into your life regarding what is really important to you.

Ask yourself what you would take with you if you were informed that you had five minutes to leave your home. At that moment, it is likely that what seemed tremendously important just moments before - the bills, a broken appliance, or the laundry pile - would be flushed from your mind. Many people would rush to grab a treasured photo album, a favorite ring, or a journal. Who would you want by your side? Family? Loved ones? A pet? Your answer to these questions are a window into what is important to you and what and who you should focus on. Maybe doing the laundry can wait while you call a friend or spend some time doing something you really enjoy.

Now ask yourself what would be important to you if you found yourself taking your last breaths. Would you worry more about unwritten reports or an unsaid "I love you"? What would you rush to accomplish and what loose ends would you tie up? There might be a dream you'd lament never having chased or someone you wished you'd forgiven. Your answers to this question can help you determine how you truly wish to be spending your time on this earth. You might consider tying up that loose end or following your soul's purpose now, rather than later.

Choosing to change your life, to embrace new priorities of your own design, even on a small scale, can be the most rewarding thing you'll ever do. There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. Rather, they are a means to help you better understand how you can lead the life most fulfilling to you.


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Your Life Is Your Story

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- by Tom Gilbert

"Dad, can you wait for me to take your walk?"

My seven year-old son was looking up at me expectantly. His eyebrows were arched over his brown eyes and his close-cropped hair was sticking up in three different directions.

"Can ya, Dad? Just fifteen minutes."

I looked away from my e-mail and smiled at Eric. "Sure, but hurry up and get your homework done. You need to do good on your spelling test".

"I know! I will." He shuffled off to his room and I wondered again at how my parents' voice comes out of my mouth.

About twenty minutes later he is finally done writing out those words and I grab my hat and sunglasses and head for the door. He's hurrying behind, but just as I get to the screen door he calls out.

"Wait! I need to bring along my flag!"

I pause and murmur, "ok", and wait on the sidewalk leading from the front door. Eric comes running back holding his checkered race flag.

As we head across the front lawn and towards the break in the wall that leads to the path around the floodplain I find myself smiling at the colorful New Mexico spring sky. Blue, grey and white spread out in a mixture of thin stratus and billowing thunderheads. The Sandia Mountains tower majestically, as always. We start a brisk walk, bent into the wind that is blowing strong enough to give Eric a challenge in holding onto his waving flag.

"Hey, Dad! Are these staples stronger than regular ones". He's pointing at the staples his Mom recently used to attach, again, the flag to the wooden stick.

I examine them more closely. "Yes, I think so, son."

"Good", he grins. "I wouldn't want it to come off!" With newfound confidence he waves the flag back and forth as we trudge down the dirt path pass backyard walls and on to the hill that rises to the top of a gravelly access road. It is really built for foot traffic and bikes, but occasionally a city truck will travel it. Not to mention dogs and horses.

More than once I will steer Eric out of the way of droppings.

We come to a steep incline and slowly climb past the big boulders to the top. We both are breathing harder. At the top of the road we have a quarter mile or so to the other side of the floodplain and the wind is strongest here. I have to steady my hat a couple of times and my son's flag is going great guns. Eric wonders why I walk so fast. I'm wondering why I have to slow down so much. No worries, it is good to be together, father and son time.

Why I don't spend more time doing this? crosses my mind. Usually my walks are a quiet time for me while still getting a cardiovascular workout.

Yesterday after work I walked and refused to let Eric come along, as he wasn't done with chores or homework. He can delay more than any wily Washington Senator on a full-blown filibuster. He cried and wailed that it wasn't fair, but he obviously held onto the promise that he could accompany me today if he did his work first.

Questions come frequently and they are often mixed with his odd comments. "Why are there so many trees down there? That's a baby tree. Who cut down those weeds? Look, that weed is bigger than me! How come nobody cuts that one down?"

My best answers aren't sufficient. Sometimes I just nod, or say I don't know, or comment how that's interesting. Is God like this, too? We ask our silly questions or make our silly human comments, because we don't know better and God just smiles and nods?

The weather is warm and dry and along with blowing dust are moths and other flying insects. Eric waves his flag like a swatter and I have to use my hands to keep them away from my face. Starting to work up a sweat now. My breathing is a bit heavier, yet my heart is full towards bursting at this pleasant time together, marveling at the beauty of Albuquerque. As beads of sweat appear on my forehead a smile creases my lips. As much as I enjoy solitary walks, having my little companion today is special.

Can you look at life through the eyes of a child? Have you tried it lately? Kids are much better at being "in the now". No big concerns about tomorrow, certainly no stress over getting a big work project done for the boss or finding a way to make the mortgage payment. Plenty of time for that later in life.

The gift for us, the one I received on this walk, is that we can set those concerns aside. At least for a little while. Get outside, get some exercise, and be like a child. Some people say once you've lost your innocence you can't get it back. I disagree. It's there, waiting for you to discover it. My son gave it back to me.

"Hey Dad, wanna race to that tree? Come on! It'll be fun!" "Ok, son. Ready...set...go!!"

Laughing, wheezing and grinning like maniacs, we both arrive at the tree at the same time. Well, ok, I let him get there a second or two before me.

"Wow, Eric. You sure run fast". We put our arms around each other and head home.

About the Author:

Tom Gilbert is a writer and personal historian. His web site, www.your-life-your-story.com, is dedicated to helping others tell their life story. You can contact Tom at tom@your-life-your-story.com

REALITY IS SOMETHING YOU RISE ABOVE

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Courage is a special kind of knowledge. It's the knowledge of how to fear what should be feared and how not to fear what should not be feared.

A brave mind is always impregnable. True courage is the result of reasoning. You're more important than your problems. You're bigger than anything that can happen to you.

Great things are accomplished when you believe that what's inside of you is superior to your circumstances. What you have outside you counts less than what you have inside you.

Nothing external to you has power over you.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Washing Away

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Bathing And Cleansing Rituals

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but bathing is about so much more than cleansing. Our connection with water is therapeutic and spiritual. In our fast-paced, busy, modern world a quick shower is often the preferred method of cleansing. Yet, many cultures still celebrate and honor the vital life force of water with rituals of cleansing. Communal bathing is a common social custom in many parts of world, from the public bath houses of Japan to ritual outdoor cleansing in lakes and rivers in India. Communal bathing offers a time for bonding. Cleansed and relaxed, freed from the restrictions of clothing, bathing together allows for open interactions. Which may attest to the popularity of "soaks" in natural hot springs everywhere.

Water plays an important role in many spiritual practices. Symbolically it cleanses the soul, as in baptism, whether the ceremony involves a mere sprinkling or a full immersion in water. The mikveh marks the end of a Jewish woman's menstrual cycle with a gathering at a place of "living waters," a natural body of water such as the ocean, a stream, a cistern of rainwater or a modern pool combined with tap water. In many cultures, water is so sacred that it is the focus of holidays. The Burmese New Year is celebrated with a water festival in which everyone pours water on each other to wash off the misdeeds of the past.

We can all engage in rituals of cleansing, whatever our culture and/or spiritual beliefs. Prepare your bathroom with scented candles or incense, natural soap and oils. A scrub of sea salt and honey or dry brushing exfoliates the skin and a preliminary wash will leave you clean and ready for a long soak in relaxing warm water. Try to let go of all thoughts while bathing, focusing on the cleansing you engage in and the sensation of the water. Bless your bath, bless yourself. At the end of your bath, pour clean, clear water over your head or shoulders and imagine you are washing away your fears and difficulties. You are now clean, mind body and spirit ready to begin anew.

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Build Unshakable Self-Confidence

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- by Brian Tracy

Identify Your Biggest Dream

A young woman wrote to me recently, telling me that her whole life had taken a different turn since she heard me ask the question, “What one great thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail?”

She wrote that, up to that time, this was a question she had never even dared to consider, but now, she thought of nothing else. She had realized, in a great, blinding flash of clarity, that the main thing separating her from her hopes and dreams was the belief in her ability to achieve them.

Most of us are like this for most of our lives. There are many things that we want to be, and have and do, but we hold back. We are unsure because we lack the confidence necessary to step out in faith in the direction of our dreams.

Determine What You Really Want

Just think: What difference would it make in your life if you had an absolutely unshakable confidence in your ability to achieve anything you really put your mind to? What would you want and wish and hope for? What would you dare to dream if you believed in yourself with such deep conviction that you had no fears of failure whatsoever?

Be True To Yourself

The key is to be true to yourself, to be true to the very best that is in you, and to live your life consistent with your highest values and aspirations.

Take some time to think about who you are and what you believe in and what is important to you. Decide that you will never compromise your integrity by trying to be or say or feel something that is not true for you.

Have the courage to accept yourself as you really are-not as you might be, or as someone else thinks you should be-and know that, taking everything into consideration, you are a pretty good person.

Make A Plan To Achieve It

Being true to yourself means knowing exactly what you want and having a plan to achieve it. Lasting self-confidence comes when you absolutely know that you have the capacity to get from where you are to wherever you want to go. You are behind the wheel of your life. You are the architect of your destiny and the master of your fate.

Use the "Act As If" Principle

Act as though it were impossible to fail. Act as though you already had a high level of self-confidence. And continually ask yourself, “What one great thing would I dare to dream if I knew I could not fail?” Whatever your answer, you can have it if you can dream it, and if you have the self-confidence to go out and get it.

Action Exercises

First, resolve to step out in faith in the direction of your dreams; just do it!

Second, ask yourself, “What one great thing would I dare to dream if I knew I could not fail?”

Third, be true to yourself, to the very best that is in you. Never compromise!

- Brian Tracy

YOU MUST PAY THE PRICE FOR SUCCESS

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Everything you want in life has a price connected to it. There's a price to pay if you want to make things better; a price to pay for just leaving things as they are, a price for everything.

Nature cannot be tricked or cheated. She will give up to you the object of your struggles only after you have paid her price.

Success cannot be coaxed or bribed. Pay the price and it will be yours. The universe is run with far too tight a rein for luck to interfere. Fortune sells her wares, she never gives them up freely. In some form or another, you'll pay for her favors, or you'll go away empty handed.

Success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. There is no success at bargain basement prices.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Going Native

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Native Plant Gardening

The beauty of a meadow of wildflowers and flowing native grasses rival that of any manicured lawn with trimmed hedges. Gardeners everywhere are bringing wilderness a little closer to home by landscaping with native plants. Native gardening, which is cultivating plants indigenous to the region where we live, is gaining popularity everywhere.

By choosing to grow native plants in our gardens, we give a gift back to nature. Growing natives helps to restore the natural biodiversity of our environment. We bring back the natural plants that native species of insects, birds, and other wildlife are dependent upon for food and shelter. Most native plants are satisfied with just the natural rainfall of their area, thus requiring little, if any, supplemental irrigation. And, because they are adapted to the climatic conditions of their growing area, they are the best plants to grow organically. Having evolved over thousands of years, native plants are better able to withstand pests and disease than non-native ornamental plants. They also grow more slowly and therefore require less pruning and dividing. With the need for less watering and pruning, little or no fertilizers and pesticides, a native plant garden is a low maintenance garden, giving us more time to enjoy the natural beauty of our area. We are also better able to be in touch with the seasons as native plants bloom and fade as nature intended. And, growing native plants practically guarantees that our gardening efforts will be successful since they are the plants most suited to our gardens.

Going native is a way of educating ourselves about our region and the natural cycles of the area we live in. We discover the diversity of indigenous plants, their colors, shapes, and scents. We learn about flowers and foliage, shrubs and trees that we might have disregarded before. We can even plant native healing herbs, providing natural remedies to have on hand. Beautiful, natural plants in a good for the environment garden that is easy to maintain makes going native a good choice for all.

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Five Ways to Be More Encouraging

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– By Kevin Eikenberry

We all need encouragement. Even the most callous, hard headed self made person needs encouragement to stay on track and move forward. This isn’t news – it is something we all know.

Unfortunately many times we don’t take action on what we know.

We can change our habits about encouragement – we can choose to become a more encouraging person. This will have a positive impact on our results and satisfaction in a variety of roles we play in life – from leader to co-worker to team member to parent to family member.

Below are five specific ways that you can become more encouraging starting as soon as you finish reading this article.

Encourage with your eyes.

Don’t underestimate the importance and value of solid eye contact. Think about the people you know who always seem to make good eye contact with you. How do you feel about them? Do you feel that they support and believe in you? Do they seem to care more? This is a glimpse at how powerful good solid eye contact can be. Perhaps these people haven’t said anything to give you encouragement, but their presence and eye contact show you anyway. Use your eyes to be encouraging – make eye contact with people.

Encourage with your face.

This is perhaps the easiest of all. Smile. A smile is a powerful encourager. It tells people that they are ok. It tells people that what they are doing is ok. For some people smiling comes naturally while others need to be more conscious to smile. You know which you are. Either way there are probably more opportunities and more situations where you can flash your pearly whites. Smile. You will be encouraging when you do and you will feel better yourself.

Encourage with your lips.

Of course we can say encouraging things. In fact, when you started reading this list, I’ll bet you expected the whole list to be things to say or situations in which to say them. We all know how to be encouraging with our words. So do it. Be supportive. Give people specific comments and encouragement on who they are and what they are doing. Let them know that they matter. Let them know how their work adds value. Encourage with your lips.

Encourage with your feet.

Encouragement can come in the form of being there. Sit in on the meeting someone asks you to attend, even if you know they can handle it. Go to the ball game. Your presence and attention can be powerful encouragers and motivators. Be aware that your actions in themselves can be encouraging, so act accordingly. First you must be there, and then you must behave in encouraging ways.

Encourage with your head.

If all you see is what people are doing wrong, it is hard to be encouraging. The biggest barrier some of us have to overcome to become more encouraging is in our head – we aren’t looking for and therefore seeing the right things. We must focus on and look for the positive things. Look for the good. Then use your feet, lips, face and eyes to communicate those encouraging messages.

Ok, it is your turn.

Get up from your chair now. Pick one of these approaches and practice it right now.

Write these five things down on an index card and carry it with you for the next three weeks. Refer to the card often as a reminder to continue to use these approaches to becoming more encouraging.

You will be amazed at the new results you will see in those around you and in your life as well. You can do it – you can make this choice.

About the Author:

Kevin is Chief Potential Officer of The Kevin Eikenberry Group(http://KevinEikenberry.com), a learning consulting company that helps Clients reach their potential through a variety of training, consulting and speaking services. To receive your free special report on “Unleashing Your Potential” go to http://www.kevineikenberry.com/uypw/index.asp or call us at (317) 387-1424 or 888.LEARNER.

STAY REALISTIC ON THE ROAD TO SUCCESS

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The truth is what it is. It's neither good nor bad. It's simple reality. Tailor your concepts to fit reality, instead of trying to stuff reality into your concepts. No matter what you believe, it won't change the facts.

If we all worked on the assumption that what is accepted as true is really true, there would be little hope of advancement in the world.

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.

Successful people are realistic and aren't trapped by false appearances. See the world as it is.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Forgiving Yourself

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Releasing Guilt

We all know what it feels like to feel guilty about something and many of us struggle with feeling guilty all the time. Guilt makes us feel that we are somehow unforgivable. While this experience is common, it is detrimental to our overall wellbeing. Feeling guilty generally promotes a sense of powerlessness-an anguished agonizing over a past action that cannot be changed. The problem with this is that it doesn't inspire us to forgive ourselves, make amends for mistakes, and move forward free of emotional baggage.

Originally, guilt referred to the fine paid for proven wrongdoing. Once you made the payment, in time or money, for what you had done, you were free-free of the sentence and free of the guilt. The problem with guilt as it is often experienced now is that it becomes a permanent state of mind for some people. In this case, it is a neurotic preoccupation rather than a fair assessment of wrongdoing followed by a course of action that leads to reparation.

It is part of the human experience to make mistakes and hurt others. There is no way to avoid this entirely, and wallowing in guilt will not help you or anyone else. It will not prevent future suffering. Understanding this is the first step towards liberating yourself from guilt.

If you are hanging onto guilt about something, the first thing you need to do is practice compassion for yourself; you are human and you make mistakes. Compassion and self-forgiveness are much more effective than guilt in helping you determine a course of effective action. You may need to make an apology, or you may need to make some changes in yourself. Know that with each action you create healing for yourself and anyone you have hurt. Finally, learn from your mistakes, but never beat yourself up. Know that you are inherently good, love yourself, and always do your best. Then there will be no place for guilt in your life.

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The Top 10 Assumptions That Kill Success

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– By Jim M. Allen

I've discovered that people have this knack for making assumptions about their lives and their goals that are just incredibly, wildly wrong. Worse, these assumptions aren't just incorrect, they are deflating and deadly to the success they seek.

I've also found that when people put these assumptions aside and get focused on the truth, they begin making progress quite quickly.

Below are the top 10 assumptions I've run across. Consider this a "most-wanted" list of killer assumptions to try and avoid:

1. I know exactly what's going on

Uh-oh, look out!

When you catch yourself believing this assumption, then it's definitely time to stop and ask some questions.

All too often it is the moment when we believe we see everything that we actually have the smallest field of vision.

Re-check all facts, get more information, be open to the possibility that an important item might be missing, and THEN proceed.

2. I have a foolproof plan

Foolproof? No plan is foolproof. If you're really lucky, you might come up with one that's fool resistant...

Examine as many WHAT-IFs as possible, plan for worst-case scenarios, and then some (i.e., have alternate plans ready).

3. I don't need (or can't get) help

A second opinion, a spare set of hands, and a fresh perspective seldom go amiss. And they are much easier to find that you think.

Ask those close to you for their input. If necessary, visit your local library, college, or Yellow Pages for other ideas.

4. I don't have the education

Look, ideas put into action create success, not diplomas! This is just an excuse, not a real reason to not get started.

There are plenty of ways to get the education you need for any project. Formal education is, perhaps surprisingly, really not necessary for manyof the things one wants to do, so don't overlook nontraditional avenues (apprenticeships, mentoring, etc.)

5. I don't have the money

Maybe you don't RIGHT NOW, but that doesn't mean you can't have it in the future. Focus on how you can save, earn, or borrow what you need.

6. I don't have the time

Actually, you have all the time in the world.

You may need to reschedule some things, change priorities, or stop doing other activities, but you'll never have as much time to do the things you want to do as you have RIGHT NOW.

7. I am too old (or, I am not old enough)

If you're old enough to worry about not being old enough, then you're probably old enough.

And you're only too old when you're dead. Until then, you're the perfect age to make your dreams come true!

8. I am being unrealistic

Most of the great successes in history were thought to be sill, unrealistic dreams. Luckily, the people behind those ideas pressed on, just as you would be wise to do.

Be bold, dream big. BIG!

Let the critics debate whether your idea is realistic or not... while you make it happen.

9. I don't deserve to be successful

Really? Why not? Anyway, if you make it happen, you deserve it.

10. Nobody understands what I am trying to do

The world is a big place filled with a lot of wonderful people who are struggling to make their own dreams a reality. Get to know them. Listen to their ideas, their dreams, and share yours with them.

Soon you'll discover that you have more supporters than you count!

About the Author:

This piece was originally submitted by Jim M. Allen, The Big Idea Coach, who can be reached at JimAllen@CoachJim.com, or visited on the Web at http://www.mynewattitude.com/. Jim M. Allen, The Big Idea Coach wants you to know: Get more ideas to help make your ideas real, visit my self-help website, MyNewAttitude.com or read THE BIG IDEA blog at: http://bigidea.typepad.com/bigidea

YOU ARE WHAT YOU REPEATEDLY DO

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First you make your habits, and then your habits make you. You become a slave to your constantly repeated acts. What at first you choose, at last compels.

Your habits are either the best of servants or the worst of masters. Your thoughts lead you on to a purpose, your purposes go forth in action.

Your actions form your habits. Your habits determine your character, and your character fixes your destiny.

Once in motion, a pattern stays in motion.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Monday, June 13, 2005

Nurturing Growth

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Spiritual Parenting

A parent's job is to prepare their child for life. One of the best gifts to give your child then, is a sense of their spiritual self. Nurturing a love and appreciation of themselves and their relation to the universe at large will serve them well as they travel through life, especially when the road gets rocky, as it often does. Show them love, instill compassion, teach them acceptance, encourage an open mind so they may discover the divine within.

It begins with love, of course. Make sure your child always feels loved through words and touch. Allow for lots of cuddling and kisses and continue hugs and loving touches even as children become aloof adolescents. Encourage your child to be loving also, not just towards family and friends, but towards everyone. Let them know that they are connected to everything; humans, animals, the earth, and the stars. People who understand that we are all one are more empathetic and less likely to hate and hurt. Instill a sense of responsibility and ownership so that children may be good stewards of the earth and value life. Teach your children to be grateful. Let them know that a rainbow is as much of a gift as a toy. Encourage them to express thanks for every small favor and even to see the blessings in life's challenges. The hard knocks are easier to take when we can change our outlook. Inspire self discipline through a spiritual practice in the form of yoga, martial arts, prayer, meditation, music, or the arts. Learning to focus and ground oneself is the best way of connecting to the divine and getting to know oneself. Children with a strong sense of themselves are better able to make wise choices, connect with others in a positive way, and to avoid destructive behavior. Communicate constantly with your children, perhaps starting the ritual of council once per week.

Also, allow your child to fail. Let your child know that we become better people when we learn from our mistakes and that no one is perfect, including you. Just be there when they fall, then encourage them to get up and fly.

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Warning signs

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- By Bruno Gideon

We have lots of different names for them – our gut instinct, our inner voice, wisdom from above, ESP – but they may all be categorized under the heading of warning signs: messages to us that something is not quite right, that we should take some time to reconsider a situation, that we should avoid getting involved with certain people, projects, or investments. Most people say that their warning signs are accurate. How do they know that? Because every time they have ignored them, they have lived to regret it!

To see things in the seed, that is genius.
- Lao-Tzu

Always hold your head up,
but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.
- Max L. Forman

The number one reason we ignore warning signs is that heeding them would require us to go against our own desires. We want to get rich quick, so we ignore the warning signs that an investment is not sound. We don’t want a romantic spell we’re in to be broken, so we suppress our instincts about the character of the person we love. We can just taste the success that’s going to come with a new job, so we look past the evidence that the company is on shaky ground.

Here, then, is a personal policy that we would do well to adopt: to listen the hardest to whatever it is we most don’t want to hear!

- Bruno Gideon

RICHES LIE WITHIN YOU, NOT IN YOUR MATERIAL POSSESSIONS

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Wealth without enjoyment is little consolation. Your real riches in life are riches of the head and heart. Satisfaction comes when you appreciate what you have.

While success is getting what you want, true happiness is wanting what you get.

It's not how much you have, but how much you enjoy that truly matters.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Friday, June 10, 2005

Seat Of Life

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The Second Chakra

When we have gained a deep understanding of the body and soul, there often follows a desire to reach out, to grow, and to change. In the Vedic texts, the second chakra, the energy center between the navel and genitals, is the seat of life and the house of change. It is a point where opposites come together in sympathy, guiding us toward a balanced existence. The choices that help us evolve are often a product of the second chakra, which, when charged with neither too little nor too much energy, rejects rigid control and embraces creativity. Associated with taste and sensuality, the second chakra or Svadhisthana (which means sweetness) can be visualized as a brilliant sunset orange. Like its element, water, the second chakra is ruled by the moon.

A weakness or imbalance in the second chakra can lead to feelings of extreme empathy, which can cause you to be ruled by the emotions of others. To fail to focus on this chakra leads to the opposite: an utter lack of emotion and dwindling passions. A balanced second chakra embraces both sides of everything, giving you a healthy understanding of your emotions as well as those of others. Nurturing it through dance, laughter, and pleasurable movement will help you embrace your own sexuality, which is the main aspect of the chakra. Stimulation of the second chakra can be achieved through the use of orris root, gardenia, or damiana incense; practicing tantra yoga; or exposing the chakra to moonstone or coral. These methods of opening and energizing the chakra can be performed individually or in tandem for greater effect.

The second chakra may appear a route to indulgence to some, because of its focus on the feelings of the body, but it is also the dwelling place of the self. A fully functioning second chakra, working in a balanced way with the body’s other chakras, is a source of self-knowledge and understanding.


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Doing the Remarkable

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- by Jim Rohn

When it comes to meeting and conquering the negativity in your life, here is a key question: what can you do, starting today, that will make a difference? What can you do during economic chaos? What can you do when everything has gone wrong? What can you do when you've run out of money, when you don't feel well and it's all gone sour? What can you do?

Let me give you the broad answer first. You can do the most remarkable things, no matter what happens. People can do incredible things, unbelievable things, despite the most impossible or disastrous circumstances.

Here is why humans can do remarkable things: because they are remarkable. Humans are different than any other creation. When a dog starts with weeds, he winds up with weeds. And the reason is because he's a dog. But that's not true with human beings. Humans can turn weeds into gardens.

Humans can turn nothing into something, pennies into fortune, and disaster into success. And the reason they can do such remarkable things is because they are remarkable. Try reaching down inside of yourself; you'll come up with some more of those remarkable human gifts. They're there, waiting to be discovered and employed.

With those gifts, you can change anything for yourself that you wish to change. And I challenge you to do that because you can change. If you don't like how something is going for you, change it. If something isn't enough, change it. If something doesn't suit you; change it. If something doesn't please you, change it. You don't ever have to be the same after today. If you don't like your present address change it - you're not a tree!

If there is one thing to get excited about, it's your ability to make yourself do the necessary things, to get a desired result, to turn the negative into success. That's true excitement.

- Jim Rohn

PURSUE WHAT YOU WANT AND YOU'LL GET IT

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When you're sure you're on the right road to success you don't have to plan your journey too far ahead. Don't burden yourself with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar your progress.

You don't need to know all your answers in advance. Just have a clear idea of the goal you want to reach. You can only take one step at a time.

If you can muster up the courage to begin, you'll find the courage to succeed. It's the job you never start that always takes the longest to finish.

Eighty percent of success is in showing up.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Thursday, June 09, 2005

A Tribute To Life

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Celebrating Birthdays

The advent of a new year of life is acknowledged by people in ways as different as the people themselves. Birthdays can be a source of joy, but also a cause of anxiety. When we turn six or thirteen, achieving another year feels like an accomplishment, while celebrations in honor of later years are often seen an unnecessary. But every year of life has brought with it new wisdom, learning experiences, and changes, making one's thirty-first year no less a milestone than one's thirtieth. Your birthday may come and go each year celebrated but not treasured, because you don't look forward to having to shoulder another year of age or can't muster up the enthusiasm for a sincere celebration. All birthdays, however, are important and can be a cause for joy, if you look upon them with a reflective eye and a mind toward the blessings the future will bring.

Birth is a miracle and, as such, celebrating the anniversary of a birth is natural and holds spiritual and psychological significance. Almost all cultures mark the anniversary of a person's birth, though the rituals and traditions differ. The profound meaning of birthdays is often cemented when we are young, and the day is imbued with fun by our parents. As we grow older, that meaning can change, and can sometimes become negative. We begin to associate birthdays with aging or what we have not yet accomplished. But a shift in perspective can revitalize birthdays as a reason for celebration. Celebrating a birthday acknowledges the progress you have made, the blessings you have received, and the goals you have achieved in the past twelve months. If you prefer to celebrate a birthday alone, you can use the time to reflect on your life, and how special it has been.

It isn't how you celebrate a birthday that imbues it with meaning, but the fact that you honor the coming of a new year of life as a positive event, brimming with new experiences to be had. An entire lifetime can pass in the blink of an eye, but every new birthday is a chance to give fresh tribute to that life.

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The 13 Characteristics of Successful People – By Jeffrey

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– By Jeffrey Mayer

I've spent many years studying successful people and have identified the skills, talents, and characteristics that enable them to succeed. As you look at and study these skills, talents, and characteristics, you'll realize that you possess many of them yourself. Some of these skills and talents are more dominant than others and will play a greater part in your being, or becoming, a success in the business of life. These are the things you do well. The things you do easily and effortlessly. These are your strengths. When you find you need a skill or talent you don't have,
just go out and look for a person or group of people with the skills, talents, and training you need. Skills and talents that complement your own. These people will become your teammates, colleagues, co-workers, professional advisors, and friends. With these combined skills and talents organizations grow, prosper, and become successful.

These are the five things you'll find every successful person has in common:

1. They have a dream.

2. They have a plan.

3. They have specific knowledge or training.

4. They're willing to work hard.

5. They don't take no for an answer.

Remember: Success begins with a state of mind. You must believe you'll be successful in order to become a success.

The following is a list of the skills, talents, and characteristics you'll find in successful people:

1. Successful People Have a Dream. They have a well-defined purpose. They have a definite goal. They know what they want. They aren't easily influenced by the thoughts and opinions of others. They have willpower. They have ideas. Their strong desire brings strong results. They go out and do things that others say can't be done.

Remember: It only takes one sound idea to achieve success.

Remember: People who excel in life are those who produce results, not excuses. Anybody can come up with excuses and explanations for why he hasn't made it. Those who want to succeed badly enough don't make excuses.

2. Successful People Have Ambition. They want to accomplish something. They have enthusiasm, commitment, and pride. They have self-discipline. They're willing to work hard and to go the extra mile. They have a burning desire to succeed. They're willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Remember: With hard work come results. The joy in life comes with working for and achieving something.

3. Successful People Are Strongly Motivated Toward Achievement. They take great satisfaction in accomplishing a task.

4. Successful People Are Focused. They concentrate on their main goals and objectives. They don't get sidetracked. They don't procrastinate. They work on the projects that are important, and don't allow those projects to sit until the last minute. They're productive, not just busy.

5. Successful People Learn How to Get Things Done. They use their skills, talents, energies, and knowledge to the fullest extent possible. They do the things that need to be done, not just the things they like to do. They are willing to work hard and to commit themselves to getting the job done.

Remember: Happiness is found in doing and accomplishing, not in owning and possessing.

Anecdote: Many years ago I was asked: "Jeff, do you like pleasing habits or pleasing results?" As I pondered that probing question, and squirmed in my chair like a worm at the end of a hook, I felt as if I had painted myself into a corner. A few moments later I answered: "I like pleasing results." From that moment on my life changed. I began to do the things that were difficult, because they enabled me to achieve my goals.

6. Successful People Take Responsibility for Their Actions. They don't make excuses. They don't blame others. They don't whine and complain.

7. Successful People Look for Solutions to Problems. They're opportunity minded. When they see opportunities they take advantage of them.

8. Successful People Make Decisions. They think about the issues and relevant facts, give them adequate deliberation and consideration, and make a decision. Decisions aren't put off or delayed, they're made now!

SuccessTip: Spend more time thinking and planning before you make your decision, and you'll make better decisions.

SuccessTip: When you don't get the expected results from the decision you've made, change your course of action. Decisions should never be carved in stone.

9. Successful People Have the Courage to Admit They've Made a Mistake. When you make a mistake, admit it, fix it, and move on. Don't waste a lot of time, energy, money, and/or other resources trying to defend a mistake or a bad decision.

Remember: When people are wrong, they may admit it to themselves. If they are handled gently and tactfully, they may admit it to others and even take pride in their frankness and broad-mindedness. But people become very defensive and angry when others try to cram their mistakes down their throats.

10. Successful People Are Self-Reliant. They have the skills, talents, and training that are needed in order to be successful.

11. Successful People Have Specific Knowledge, Training, and/or Skills and Talents. They know the things they need to know to be successful. And when they need information, knowledge, or skills and talents that they don't possess, they find someone who does possess them.

12. Successful People Work with and Cooperate with Other People. They have positive, outgoing personalities. They surround themselves with people who offer them help, support, and encouragement. They are leaders.

13. Successful People Are Enthusiastic. They're excited by what they're doing, and that excitement is contagious. They draw people to them because these people want to work with them, do business with them, and be with them.

About the Author:

Jeffrey Mayer helps business owners, corporate executives and sales professionals manage their time, set their priorities, and stay focused so they can grow their business. Best Selling E-Books from Jeffrey Mayer Setting and Achieving Your Goals
Visit http://www.succeedinginbusiness.com

Growth

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- By Bruno Gideon

We stand in awe before a massive oak tree, amazed that it could grow to such a magnitude from a tiny, unimpressive acorn, just one out of a million that all had a chance to grow. This one succeeded because the little seedling had patience and stamina – and a bit of luck. That sounds familiar, doesn’t it? We, too, were once small and inconspicuous. We would not be where we are today without the assistance of this same triumvirate of qualities.

The tallest oak tree once was an acorn that any pig could have swallowed.
– Arthur Schopenhauer

He plants trees to benefit another generation.
– Caesilius Statiu

Growth is the only evidence of life.
– John Henry Newman

A bit of luck? But isn’t that out of our control? Not totally. As the saying goes, “You have to be good to be lucky.” I’ve seen this truth many, many times. “Oak people” set up a harmonious atmosphere by repaying the kindness of others, letting someone older step in front of them, giving priority to the car next to them, extending a hand to someone in need, showing the ropes to a new colleague, and saying "thank you" when it is least expected.

An attitude like this will spread your branches wide. I guarantee it.

- Bruno Gideon

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Finding Freedom In Peace

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Zen

Life can change in the blink of an eye. For some, this is a source of stress, but for others, this uncertainty as well as the strong emotions that come with it, are merely one drop of water in a babbling brook. Whether they know it, the latter have adopted Zen into the experience. Zen is most often associated with Buddhism, but stands alone in its execution. It is a marriage of concentration, contemplation, and dynamic stillness that can diffuse stress and ease suffering. It is individualistic, yet encompasses both one's self and the universe. It brings inner peace but does not turn away from pain. Zen is a means of re-examining ideas about yourself, your desires, and your relationship with the world in such a way as to separate your sense of satisfaction and dissatisfaction from situations you cannot control.

In practicing Zen, which may include sitting zazen (silent meditation) but can also be a part of your everyday life, there is no reality outside of what exists from moment to moment. Heights of emotion cannot be avoided, but the Zen mind does not grip those feelings and refuse to let them go. Zen acknowledges that all states are impermanent. Like the drop of water in the brook, each moment is carried away with the current. Freeing yourself from the burden of old hurts and even old joys opens up a whole new world untainted by assumption or unreasonable expectation. Each day will necessarily be unlike the one that preceded it. The Zen mind is also aware that being and doing are intertwined. The mind and body, the outside and inside, and the self and the other are all one.

Because Zen emphasizes the impermanence of all things, every facet of one's life can be affected by embracing it. One's ideas of fulfillment change, as does how one views one's career and relationships with others. It is a natural guard against disappointment and stress, the fear of failure (as all moments have worth), and suffering. To adopt Zen into your own life, it is best to begin by knowing thyself, living in the moment, taking time to simply exist, and to avoid attachments to possessions. But trust that you will not have to make time for Zen - once accepted; it will be with you all the time.

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Live the Adventure!

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– By Chris Widener

Think of an adventure that you might like to take. Maybe it is a trip to a foreign country or a major destination in your own country. Maybe it is to climb a mountain or float down the Amazon. Whatever works for you, picture what that would take. Got it? Good, now let's see what are common characteristics of a good adventure and apply them to our lives. In doing so, you will shift your perspective and see how your own day-to-day life can be an adventure!

1. A desire to see something new:

When we set out on an adventure, we are usually looking for something new. We are looking to break out of the doldrums and get to somewhere we have never been before. What about in life? Are you constantly looking for something new to experience? Take some time soon to experience something new. That will put some adventure in your life!

2. A desire to see something grand:

People on adventures usually pick something larger than life, something grand. Do you think anybody would go to see the "Tiny Canyon?" No way. But hundreds of thousands of people adventure their way to the Grand Canyon. What about your life? Is there anything grand that you are pursuing? Is there anything bigger than life that you are striving for? Take some time soon to pursue something grand. That will put some adventure in your life!

3. A desire to learn:

Lots of people take adventures to learn about something. This makes Washington, DC a popular adventure spot will all of its history. You can spend days there! Your eyes and mind are always being opened and it is enjoyable. What about your life? Are you involved in anything that causes you to continually learn and grow intellectually? Take some time to stretch yourself to learn something. That will put some adventure in your life!

4. A willingness to be diverted:

Part of a vacation adventure is that you can be diverted and it is okay! That is part of the fun. Yes, we want a clear destination but sometimes it is the diversions that bring us the spice of life. What about you? Are you diversion averse? Maybe you need to let yourself get out of the box sometime. Try this: The next time you have the possibility for a fun diversion, take it. Life is short and you can take some diversions. That will put some adventure in your life!

5. An expectation that there will be breakdowns:

Have you ever gone on a family vacation that didn't have breakdowns? Not many. But when all is said and done, aren't those the things we laugh at years later and remember clearly? You know, "Remember Dad getting mad that the car had broken down and he slammed his finger in the door and started hopping around so much he fell in a ditch of water? And when he came up for air he had mud on his face? What a riot!" Even dad laughs at that - later! What about your life? Are you frustrated by the breakdowns? Try looking at them from the perspective you will look at them from 20 years from now. That will put some adventure in your life!

6. A focus on fun:

Whatever the adventure is, we usually expect it to be fun, don't we? Well, life can be fun too. In fact, I require that life be fun! What about your life? Is it "all work and no play makes Jack or Suzie a dull boy or girl? Get out and have some fun my friend! That will put some adventure in your life!

7. A clear destination:

Ultimately, our adventure usually has a clear destination. It may be the top of the mountain. It may be the goal of getting your whole family together at a resort. Whatever it is, it has a clear destination. It is the goal, and it is what gives us purpose. What about your life? Do you have a clear destination you are working toward? Set your sights on a clear destination! That will put some adventure in your life!

About the Author:

Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President of Made for Success and Extraordinary Leaders, two companies helping individuals and organizations turn their potential into performance, succeed in every area of their lives and achieve their dreams. Join subscribers in over 100 countries around the world! Get Chris' F’REE weekly Made for Success Ezine by sending a blank email to
success-on@mail-list.com. Get his FREE daily SuccessQuote™ with action point by sending a blank email to SQ@infogeneratorpro.com. Get his FREE monthly Extraordinary Leaders Ezine, one of the world's most widely distributed leadership newsletters, by sending a blank email to leaders-on@mail-list.com. Visit his website at http://www.chriswidener.com Copyright 2002 Made for Success. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE

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If you don't run your own life, somebody else will. If you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things in your own hands.

To affect the outcome of anything, you must control the action at the point of decision making. You're in control of your life to the degree that you make the decisions.

If you let others make decisions for you, you have no control. When you control your decisions, you control the actions.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Living In Alignment

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Integrity

A boat with no leaks is said to have integrity, as is a solid piece of furniture. It is their wholeness-no gaps or weaknesses-that gives them their integrity. People who have integrity convey a similar "seaworthiness" and stability. There is the sense that they can be counted on, that their actions will be consistent with their ideals. Just being in the presence of someone with this quality creates a feeling of steadiness even in a chaotic environment. These people are natural leaders because we sense that it is safe to follow them. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Gandhi are clear examples of modern human beings who embodied integrity.

All spiritual traditions have vows, precepts, and tenets that are designed to encourage us to live in harmony with a higher vision of what humanity can be. Following a set of precepts, or taking a vow, can teach us what it feels like to be true to a set of elevated ideals in which we think beyond I, me, and mine. Being true to a vow in the face of temptation builds strength and power. We learn first hand the benefits of sacrificing short-term gains in favor of long-term vision. We learn the value of doing what is right, and not just what is easy. In a culture obsessed with convenience and freedom, integrity can be a rare quality. Perhaps this is because we have a cultural habit of resisting limitation and restriction. And yet, limitation and restriction often provide the structure in which integrity can be born.

Living with integrity generates self-confidence and self-esteem. It is important to take time on a regular basis to examine whether your actions, your words and your vision are in alignment. Make it a priority to look into any imbalances you find and commit to resolving them. Take time to consider and, when necessary, revise your overall vision for life, making sure your actions and words support your ideals.

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Five Short Chapters on Change

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- by Unknown Author

Chapter 1.

I walk down a street and there's a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. It takes forever to get out. It's my fault.

Chapter 2.

I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It still takes a long time to get out. It's not my fault.

Chapter 3.

I walk down the same street. I fall in the hole again. It's becoming a habit. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.

I walk down the same street and see the deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5.

I walk down a different street.

- Unknown Author

CHANGE INFLUENCES YOUR PERSONAL GROWTH

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Personal growth is the process of responding positively to change. It involves risk as you step from the known to the unknown.

All your growth will depend on your activity. Your strength and growth will come only through continuous effort and struggle. There will be no development without effort.

Trouble is the common denominator of living. It's the great equalizer of life. Your trials and your sorrows will develop you.

When good or bad fortune comes your way, you must give it meaning and transform it into something of value.

What happens to you is not as important as your reaction to what is happening to you.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Monday, June 06, 2005

Moving On

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Outgrowing Spaces

While some people live their whole lives in the same house they were born in, most of us move multiple times, inhabiting many different spaces in the course of our lives. Rooms, houses, and cities all have their own energy fields, and while the energy of a place may have served us beautifully at one point, it can actually be detrimental or just uninspiring, at another.

We need different types of energy at different times in our lives. For example, we may be in great need of peace and quiet at a certain point, and move into a home that helps us feel safe and protected. Once our energy is restored, however, that same place might feel stifling and restrictive. A home filled with past memories can be warm and comforting for a time, but may become energetically oppressive if we want to feel free of that past. It is important that we honor any signals we receive that we may have energetically outgrown our current residence. Sometimes we stay in a living situation not because it is inspiring, but because it is convenient. And yet, to really thrive in our lives, we need to think beyond convenience. We need to commit to surrounding ourselves with the energetic qualities that most support our growth and well-being.

If you are feeling like you may have outgrown your space, take some time to evaluate why you were first drawn to it and what it has offered you. Are you wanting to move for the right reasons, or are you just wanting to run away? Honor and acknowledge the ways in which your space has helped you and the ways in which it may be holding you back. This will help clarify what you need in your next home. Once you understand the energetic qualities you want, you can begin to visualize your next dwelling place, setting the universe in motion to help you find it.

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10 Simple Ways to Experience Outrageous Joy, Guaranteed!

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– By Julie Jordan Scott

1. Participate in activities you loved as a third grader. Were you in the class play? Take an acting class! Did you love basketball? Join a basketball league. No excuses, simply do it!

2. Take a mid day break everyday with a Gratitude Partner. Get outside, get moving, and be grateful together as you eliminate whining in your workplace or family or neighborhood. Watch the subtle changes of people observing your Gratitude Partnership.

3. Borrow a child (or if you have your own, its even easier!) and take an afternoon off for unstructured, unscheduled play in the park. Don't just watch him play, get on the swings, the slide, climb on the Monkey bars!

4. Purchase a big pad of newsprint and mount it on the wall along with plenty of art supplies of different types: markers, paints, chalk, crayons. Create colorful images of all sorts when you are "blocked" in your "ordinary" work. See what this simple creativity time can do for you!

5. Send flowers to your child/parents/siblings/neighbor. You might even want to pick some flowers from your garden, arrange them into a bouquet, and leave them at the door of that single person down the street who never has many visitors. Wait to see their reaction as they pick them up!

6. Schedule a personal retreat day each month. Set this day aside as sacred. Use it to intentionally create your life as one where joy reins and creativity abounds.

7. Find a nightclub that specializes in music of the time when you were in high school or college. Go there and dance the night away with reckless abandon!

8. Set aside one of your lunch hours each week, say Tuesday, to be "Building Friendship Lunch Day". Invite a different friend to lunch each Tuesday with the intention being to intensify your friendship. Follow up lunch with time at the gym or at a group gathering. Watch Your circle of friendship grow in depth and width!

9. Attend free, outdoor concerts in the park. Bring along a picnic dinner as you learn to enjoy different types of music. Really listen to the different instruments as they play. Feel the breeze as it blows. Smell the food as you serve it. Create a multi-sensory concert event.

10. Learn and practice the fine art of storytelling. Begin with scenes from your life, and tell your stories to a young relative. Not only will they love helping you grow and embellish your stories, you will be passing along your history and life to them in the process. Focus at first on legends and tales of joyfulness within your family. Weave your legacy and connection to the future!

About the Author:

Julie Jordan Scott is a Life Purpose Coach who thrives in a Joy-filled environment. She coaches people around the world to live each day with Purpose and Passion! For free email courses, ezines, and non stop inspiration, visit http://www.5passions.com

IT'S A GOOD TIME TO CHANGE

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Where you are in your life today, you made an appointment to be there five years ago. Where you'll be five years from now will be determined by your actions today and in the future.

The first step toward getting somewhere is to decide that you're not going to stay where you are.

Analyze your life in terms of your environment. Are the things around you helping you toward your success or are they holding you back?

You're a product of your environment. So choose an environment that will best develop you toward your goals.

Your world today is a living expression of how you're using and have used your mind. It's something you can change at any time.

Don't remain a captive to your environment. Don't say "If I could, I would," say, "If I can, I will."

You can make changes any time. Why not start today?

©2005 by Max Steingart

Friday, June 03, 2005

Something In The Air

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Negative Ions

People often say, "There's something in the air." Intuitively, most people can sense there is an innate difference between the natural, fresh air one breathes in the countryside or mountains and that of their home, car, or office. Air in the outdoors, away from cities is crisp and light, while circulated air might be described as stale or dry. That 'something in the air' is the negative ion, a molecule that has gained an extra electron. Unspoiled air has a high concentration of negative ions that exist in balance with positive ions, or molecules that have lost an electron. Exposure to negative ions (also called happy ions) can lift your spirit, boost your energy, and improve your mood. In times of high stress, breathing air with a large number of negative ions can help regulate sleep patterns and appetite.

An excess of positive ions is produced in most suburban and urban settings because of electronics, synthetic fabrics, air traveling over metal, high-tension wires, static electricity, and highly filtered air, which upset the air's natural ion balance. The results can sometimes be seen as headaches, lethargy, and seasonal depression. But the effects can be countered simply by walking in the woods, in a park, or by the sea, wearing and using natural fibers, sitting more than a foot away from your computer monitor and turning it off when not in use, and opening the windows rather than using an air conditioner.

In many European offices and hospitals, negative air ionization is required and research has shown that negative ions can have a positive effect on allergies and asthma, cognitive function, and athletic performance. Ancient yoga texts suggested that students wishing to perfect breathing exercises do so near waterfalls or mountain caves. The masters may not have known about negative ions, but in our world of confined and crowded spaces, electronics, and filtered air, their advice remains true.

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The Key To Charisma

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- by Brian Tracy

There is a close association between personal charisma and success in life. Probably 85 percent of your success and happiness will come from your relationships and interactions with others. The more positively others respond to you, the easier it will be for you to get the things you want.

The Law of Attraction

In essence, when we discuss charisma, we are talking about the law of attraction. This law has been stated in many different ways down through the centuries, but it basically says that you inevitably attract into your life the people and circumstances that harmonize with your dominant thoughts.

You Are A Living Magnet

In a sense, you are a living magnet, and you are constantly radiating thought waves, like a radio station radiates sound waves, that are picked up by other people. Your thoughts, intensified by your emotions, as radio waves are intensified by electric impulses, go out from you and are picked up by anyone who is tuned in to a similar wavelength. You then attract into your life people, ideas, opportunities, resources, circumstances and anything else that is consistent with your dominant frame of mind. The law of attraction also explains how you can build up your levels of charisma so that you can have a greater and more positive impact on the people whose cooperation, support and affection you desire.

Perception is Everything

The critical thing to remember about charisma is that it is largely based on perception. It is based on what people think about you. It is not so much reality as it is what people perceive you to be. For example, one person can create charisma in another person by speaking in glowing terms about that person to a third party. If you believe that you are about to meet an outstanding and important person, that person will tend to have charisma for you.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta

One of the most charismatic people in the world was Mother Teresa of Calcutta. In a physical sense, she was a quiet, elderly, frail woman in poor health, and she wore a modest nun’s habit. She might have been ignored by a person passing her on the street, were it not for the tremendous charisma she developed and for the fact that her appearance was so well-known to so many people as a result.

How Would You Feel?

If someone told you that he was going to introduce you to a brilliant, self-made millionaire who was very quiet and unassuming about his success, you would almost naturally imbue that person with charisma, and in his presence, you would not act the same as you would if you had been told nothing at all. Charisma begins largely in the mind of the beholder.

Lasting charisma depends more upon the person you really are than upon just the things you do.

Continually look for ways to improve other’s perceptions of you so that you can be more influential with them. Be a living magnet.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, be clear about the messages you are sending and the perceptions you are creating in others. Are these perceptions consistent with the impressions you want to make?

Second, see yourself and imagine yourself every day as an important powerful and charming person. Treat others as you would if you were already strong, famous and influential.

- Brian Tracy

Strength and Courage

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Submitted by: Sylvia Kelly

It takes strength to be certain,
It takes courage to have doubts.

It takes strength to fit in,
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to share a friend's pain,
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide your own pain,
It takes courage to show it and deal with it.

It takes strength to stand guard,
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer,
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to endure abuse,
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone,
It takes courage to lean on a friend.

It takes strength to love,
It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive,
It takes courage to live.

Submitted by: Sylvia Kelly
Printed in Travel Agents Inspirational Corner

WHAT YOU SEE, IS WHAT YOU GET

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Visualize what you want. See it, feel it, believe in it. Your mind is your mental workshop. You can build anything you want in it. The beginning of your success is in your imagination.

Make your mental blueprint and then begin construction. See things as you would have them be instead of as they are.

Use your imagination to perceive your new reality even when it's not fully materialized. Remember, you must first clearly see a thing in your mind before you can do it or have it.

Your imagination will show you how to turn possibility into reality. First think, then organize your thoughts into plans. Then transform your thoughts into reality
by taking some positive action.

See the things you want as already yours. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession. Picture yourself as having already achieved your goal.

Dreams and ideas can cross continents and oceans. They go anywhere you can go.

What you see is what you get.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Selected Relations

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Choosing Your Family

Everyone has a right to surround themselves with supportive, accepting, and loving people. The selection of those people can be expressive of a large variety of relationships: parents, children, friends, extended family, or even caregivers. Many people put the highest priority on their familial relationships, but it is not unusual to find that one's values, goals, or choices differ from those of one's family. You may not feel that your personality is a good match with the members of your family. Or your outlook may be significantly different than that of your relatives. When this is the case, it's only natural to begin creating a network of friends and confidants that give you the closeness and security that was lacking in your family relationships.

Preferring friends to family, occasionally or all the time is entirely normal and is in no way reflective of any failing on your part. Your relationship with family members can be compared to a relationship with coworkers - circumstance has joined you together and you can make the best of it without finding it satisfying. In forming your own "family," you are given the opportunity to let go of the resentment and stress associated with your biological family and to choose what relationships you feel are meaningful. You may find you enjoy spending time with your created family more than you enjoy spending time with your traditional family. This shouldn't be a source of guilt. Life is too short to associate with people simply because you feel an obligation, particularly if those people are hurtful or judgmental. You're better served associating with people who you find kind, who inspire you, and with whom you can relax, whether they are friend, family, or loved one.

Forming your own family does not mean you need to entirely distance yourself from your biological family. It simply means you can interact with them freely when necessary, knowing that you have built up a healthy support network of people who give you the love you need. Creating your own family is a means to establishing an environment that is positive, nurturing and, ultimately, lastingly rewarding.

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The Top 10 Places to Start Turning Your Life Around

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– By Diana Robinson

Sometimes the changes we would like to make in our lives are so far-reaching that the mere thought of them overwhelms us. We become frozen with fear and are unable to make a start. Remember, though, that one thing leads to another. If you start to change just one area of your life, the next will be easier, and then the next and the next. Here are ten possible places to start:

1. You as a person.

What do you like about yourself? Not like? How can you change it? (Hint, if you're not sure what needs to be changed, take a look at what you try to keep hidden from others.)

2. Your thinking.

Your unconscious takes orders from the programming you give it. Do you limit yourself? Talk negatively to yourself? Find all the reasons why not? Instead, become self-aware so that you catch your negative self-messages and refuse them. Then turn them around and make them into positives.

3. Attitude.

This is often an outward manifestation of our thinking. It is what others see. Would you want to be on the receiving end of what you offer to the rest of the world? If not, why should other people? Perhaps, instead of waiting for the world to change, you could try making the first move.

4. Associates.

Who do you spend your time with? Are they people you are proud to know? Do you justify your choice of friends by praising how non-judgmental they are, when actually they just have no standards? Are they people you would be glad to see your family or your work associates spend time with? If not, what are you getting out of the relationships? Is it time for a change?

5. Spare time.

How do you spend it? Does it enrich you or numb you? Do you use it to contribute or to consume? When did you last do something just because doing it made you feel joyous, proud, excited, and just plain GOOD?

6. Work.

Are you proud of what you do? Do you enjoy it? Or do you dread going to work and spend the weekdays counting the time to the next weekend?

7. Surroundings.

Do your surroundings make you smile when you walk into a room? Do they reflect how good you feel about yourself? Have you added flowers, frills, colors, or whatever lifts your spirit when you look at it? Or are you surrounded by piles and stacks of stuff just waiting to be sorted, folded or put away? How much energy does just thinking about this stuff take from you every day?

8. Eating habits.

Do you use food to contribute to your health and wellness or to numb yourself? Have you tried keeping a food diary for just one week? Anyone who reads, or watches TV has to know by now what is good for us. How can we disrespect ourselves by not making good use of that knowledge?

9. Exercise.

Ditto. Do you put more effort into maintaining your car or other transportation than into maintaining your body? We don't have to run a marathon or win an Olympic gold in order to work at maintaining the machine that we expect to carry us throughout our lives. There are so many ways to keep fit today that anyone can find something they can do, even if it is just(!) running up and down stairs instead of using the elevator.

10. Consumption.

As we look at the fragility of the earth, and the limited sources of what we consume, are we doing the best we can for what our grandchildren will inherit? Or are we selfishly choosing to make our own temporary convenience more important than the quality of future lives?

This piece was originally submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., Personal & Career Coach, who can be reached at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com, or visited on the Web at http://www.choicecoach.com/

About the Author:

Diana Robinson wants you to know: As a Coach, I work with clients who are ready to grow and change, who know that there is more to life than they are presently experiencing, and who are eager to reach out for it. I offer a free e-mail newsletter, Work in Progress, and a free half-hour phone coaching session. I'd love to hear from you.

YOUR FUTURE IS A BIG ADVENTURE

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Focus on your future, not your past. Prepare for your future, don't live in the past. Relish your good memories and use any bad ones as lessons in life.

Sooner or later, those who win are those who think they can. The cards you're dealt in life are less important than the way you play them. Every day you face a new deck and new cards.

Carve out a niche for yourself in your imagined future. Begin immediately to think and feel yourself as successful. To achieve your goal in life, you need to project your end result.

Think of the elation, the satisfaction, the joy you'll feel when you've achieved your objective. Carry these ecstatic feelings with you every day and they will bring your desired goals into view.

Success is waiting for you.

©2005 by Max Steingart

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Spiritual Diversification

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Expanding Your Sources of Growth

There are numerous fountains of spiritual knowledge, though many choose to drink from only one. While delving deeply into one discipline can lead to a strong core of knowledge, there are innumerable benefits to gleaning information from many sources. Truth can be found in anything and spirituality is a thing of many dimensions. Personal growth should involve individual awareness, testing theories, and learning through others. Because of this, much can be learned by experiencing a wide variety of faiths, rituals, practices, and individuals. In doing so, you may find aspects of various sources of knowledge that appeal to you, empowering you to customize your method of spiritual growth.

Nothing is lost when you embrace multiple paths, and much is gained. You can explore without having to immediately adhere to rigid guidelines and limit yourself to one practice. You also open your soul to finding inspiration from a great cache of locations, individuals, texts, and methods. That openness can help you both achieve an elevated sense of awareness that eclipses narrow-mindedness and be more content and accepting of the unexpected. Maintaining a dialog with multiple teachers can lead to fresh approaches and vitality in your spiritual growth because you will always have access to multiple solutions to any problem. Learning from a variety of sources involves listening to others without prejudice, welcoming new ideas, and seeking out guidance from novel sources. You may also want to experiment on your own to develop your own spiritual techniques in terms of meditation and practices.

There are many orientations and many belief systems in the world, each offering numerous viewpoints and paths to enlightenment. There are thousands of teachers and texts from which to learn. Use your ears and your eyes, but also use your heart in choosing the sources from which you draw knowledge. Never forget that you are entitled to take the time to find your own unique path and in fact it can be very empowering.

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7 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem Quickly

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– By Roger Elliott

If you're tired of feeling bad about yourself, or just want some tips for those down days, these 7 practical strategies will help you take action to lift your self esteem.

1) Think back to when you did something new for the first time.

Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, remembering this will remind you that it's perfectly normal - you're just learning!

2) Do something you have been putting off.

Like writing or calling a friend, cleaning the house, tidying the garden, fixing the car, organizing the bills, making a tasty and healthy meal - anything that involved you making a decision, then following through!

3) Do something you are good at.

Examples? How about swimming, running, dancing, cooking, gardening, climbing, painting, writing. If possible, it should be something that holds your attention and requires enough focus to get you into that state of 'flow' where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished and capable afterwards, great antidotes to low self esteem!

And while you're at it, seriously consider doing something like this at least once a week. People who experience 'flow' regularly seem to be happier and healthier.

4) Stop thinking about yourself!

I know this sounds strange, but low self esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs you and holds your attention can quickly make you feel better.

5) Get seriously relaxed.

If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop thinking and relax properly. Some people do this by exercising, others by involving themselves in something that occupies their mind. However, being able to relax yourself when you want is a fantastic life skill and so practicing self hypnosis, meditation, or a physically-based relaxation technique such as Tai Chi can be incredibly useful.

When you are properly relaxed, your brain is less emotional and your memory for good events works better. A great 'rescue remedy'!

6) Remember all the things you have achieved.

This can be difficult at first, but after a while, you'll develop a handy mental list of self-esteem boosting memories. And if you're thinking "But I've never achieved anything", I'm not talking about climbing Everest here.

Things like passing your driving test (despite being nervous), passing exams (despite doubting that you would), playing team sport, getting fit (even if you let it slip later), saving money for something, trying to help someone (even if it didn't work) and so on.

7) Remember that you could be wrong!

If you are feeling bad about yourself, remember that you way you feel affects your thoughts, memory and behavior. So when you feel bad, you will only remember the bad times, and will tend to be pessimistic about yourself. This is where the tip 'Get Seriously Relaxed' comes in!

Summary

Once you have tried out a few of these, consider making them a permanent part of your life. For most people, good self esteem is not just a happy accident, it's a result of the way they think and the things they do from day to day. Good Luck!

About the Author:

Roger Elliott is a therapist, trainer and author of the Free Self Confidence Course, a 6-week practical email guide to improving your confidence and self esteem provided from his website: http://www.self-confidence.co.uk Contact: relliott@selfconfidence.co.uk

YOU HAVE TO GIVE BEFORE YOU GET

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It's a universal law: You only get to keep what you give away. You must plant your seeds before you reap the harvest. The more you sow, the more you will reap. In giving to others, you will find yourself blessed.

The law works to give you back more then you have sown. The giver's harvest is always full. Those that obtain have little. Those who scatter have much.

Nature does not give to those who will not spend.

©2005 by Max Steingart