Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life
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– By Michael R. Edelstein, Ph.D.
w/David Ramsay Steele, Ph.D.
Worry: Sharks in the Swimming Pool
Chris was an ambitious computer consultant haunted by a peculiar anxiety -- his fear that nuts and bolts, or other components of airplanes, would fall on his head, possibly killing him. If he heard the sound of an aircraft while walking outside, he would consider taking shelter. He felt anxious even if the plane were not directly overhead -- for he speculated that falling objects might travel some lateral distance if they were thrown to the side by the airplane turning or by a powerful wind.
This is one of a long list of some of my clients’ far-fetched fears. Hëre are a few other examples:
** An elevator inspector was obsessed with the thought that he might suddenly decide to become a woman and have a sëx-change operation -- though he nevër had felt such a desire, and in his sëxual preferences and behavior he was an entirely typical heterosexual male.
** A lawyer was afraid that she might inadvertently impregnate herself by touching microscopic deposits of semen on objects, such as a doorknob, and then accidentally touching herself while in the bathroom.
** A middle-aged, married accountant who had sent an angry but non-threatening memo to a former boss, began to worry that the boss might sue her, causing her to losë her house and all her savings and become a bag lady.
** A timid lady, who would nevër hurt a fly, always avoided listening to news broadcasts and became panicky if she overheard part of such a broadcast, because she was afraid that she might hear of some atrocity such as a mass killing and be uncontrollably impelled to copy it.
** A yöung music teacher was afraid to go into a public swimming pool in a Midwestern city because there might be sharks there, which might eat him, or at the very least bite off one of his feet. An intelligent person, he readily admitted that sharks did not regularly inhabit swimming pools. He knew that it would be difficult to smuggle a live shark into such a pool; that if there were a shark there, he ought to be able to see it; and that any self-respecting shark would no doubt be so bothered by the chlorine it would not lie quietly in wait at the bottom of the pool. Nevertheless, he described himself as petrified by the thought that such a thing might happen, so that he had given up his twice-weekly swim. For my part, I conceded that I could not conclusively prove that he would nevër meet a shark in a swimming pool!
Such absurd fears are more common than many of us realize. There is, for instance, a cult magazine titled Shark Fear, and legends about sharks, piranhas, or alligators in the plumbing are rife from Florida to New York City. And although these fears may sound ridiculous to most people, that is no consolation to the individuals who suffer from them.
Hëre are some other fears which are widely held -- I have encountered them all many times -- and which cause real pain to millïons of people. Consider whether they are any more reasonable than the preposterous fears mentioned above:
** The fear of being on a high floor of a tall building because one side of the building might abruptly crumble, or you might suddenly feel an irresistible urge to jump through the window.
** The fear that one will be possessed by an unconquerable urge to do something outrageous and embarrassing in public. For instance, someone sitting in the audience of a theater may suddenly be struck by the thought that he might get up from his seat, rush to the front, and jump onto the stage with the actors. He may then sit there in a cold sweat, not enjoying the play, because of his worry that he may at any moment uncontrollably do this outrageous thing that he does not in the least want to do.
** The fear that one will die while asleep. Someone may notice that his heartbeat slows down as he becomes drowsy, and he may then stat worrying that it will stop altogether if he falls asleep.
** The fear of killing or mutilating someone close to you. Mothers sometimes experience a panicky fear that they will plunge a knife into their child, and husbands sometimes torment themselves with the fear that they will strangle their wïves.
These commonplace anxieties are just as unreasonable as the more unusual ones mentioned earlier. We can easily see that they are all fears of something extremely unlikely. This gives a clue to the root of much unnecessary anxiety: a demand that one get an ironclad, surefire, one-hundred-percent guarantëe that something unpleasant absolutely will not occur.
With unlikely events, people are more influenced by a possibility that catches their imagination in some dramatic, spectacular way, rather than by the objective likelihood that it will occur. For instance, you often hear people argue against moving to California because they might die in an earthquake, whereas the death toll from cold weather -- not to mention tornados and thunderstorms -- east of the Rockies hugely exceeds fatalities from earthquakes in the West. Or some people will be nervous about flying because of the possibility of a fatal plane crash, but driving to the airport is objectively more dangerous.
About the Author:
Dr. Edelstein is a Training Supervisor and Fellow of the Albert Ellis Institute. He holds a diplomate in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy from, and serves on the Board of Advisors of the National Association of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapists. He is also Past President of the Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapy. Dr. Edelstein is also a SMART Recovery Professional Advisor.
In his practice, Dr. Edelstein specializes in the treatment of anxiety, depression, relationship problems, and addictions, and is one of the few practitioners of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) in the Bay Area. Dr. Edelstein is also a SMART Recovery Professional Advisor.
Dr. Edelstein lectures nationally and internationally, appears on radio and television, and is published in psychological journals and magazines. He writes the advice column, "Ask Dr. Mike," which appears in the San Francisco Intelligencer.
You may find Dr. Edelstein's website at http://www.threeminutetherapy.com
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