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– By Mark Victor Hansen
You can't make everyone happy. I'm sure you've heard this most of your life. It seems like a surface statement - it goes in one ear and out the other - but it runs very deep. You will nevër be able to please everyone. No matter what you do, what decisions you make, what kind of car you drive or where you live - someone is going to be disappointed with you. Putting the opinions and judgments of others before your own will only result in your failure. Learn to trust and believe in yourself for phenomenal success.
Are you constantly trying to maintain the peace in your office or home by making sure everyone is happy? Do you find yourself walking on eggshells everywhere you go, hoping no one will "start something"? Are you afraid of ruffling feathers when you're out with your friends, so you agree with whatever they say? If you said yes to any of these questïons then you my friend are a people pleaser, or on the fast track to becoming one.
I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting everyone to be happy. Heck no! I want everyone to be happy 24 hours a day. But I'm not willing to compromise who I am to make that happen.
Sometimes you have to ruffle a few feathers - and that's okay. You can't be a "lesser" you just to make someone else happy. That's not the way it works. Express yourself. Go ahead. But do it with love and a gentle voice. You're not challenging anyone. You're just being your authentic self.
When you stop saying "yes" to everyone and start expressing how you really feel, be prepared. The people who have only known the "suppressed" you are going to give you funny looks, and you'll probably hear "what's gotten into you" quite a bit. A few so-called friends may not ever speak to you again. But isn't it better to know who your true friends are?
There is no such thing as a superiority complex. It's only an inferiority complex hiding as superiority.
Action Step
Do you have people in your life that you are constantly trying to please? Are these people who you look to for approval? Do they always have opinions about your life and what you're doing wrong?
Normally, we all have at least one of these people in our lives. But why do people act negatively toward us when we try to better ourselves? It's not usually out of spite. Most of the time these people are either insecure about themselves and their lives, or afraid that once we begin living our dreams they'll be left behind.
So, how do you keep your mind and your focus on your goals when these people are around? Well, the first step would be decide who you really want in your life - people who are going to support you or people who are going to bring you down. You are going to change your life and you don't need any negative distractions. If those around you can't listen and support you in your efforts, then they have no place in your life. Period.
If for some reason you cannot remove these people from your life, then you'll have to decide not to discuss your life with them. If they ask you questïons about what's going on in your life tell them you'd rather not discuss it with them. Eventually they will stop asking and go away. If they offer advice anyway, simply thank them for the advice and ignore them. Try this a few times and see what happens. Negativity only survives where it is allowed to feed - starve it and it will move on.
About the Author:
Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series, has for more than 25 years, uniquely focused on the vital elements of human behavior that most affect our personal and professional lives and has influenced society's top leaders and the general public on a global scale. To learn more about Mark and to receive 20% off Mark's best-selling audio programs - Sell Yourself Rich, How To Think Bïgger, The Aladdin Factor and How to Build Your Speaking and Writing Empire - visit http://www.YourSuccessStore.com or call 877-929-0439.
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