The Top 10 Places To Turn

When You Don't Know Where To Turn
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- By Diana Robinson, Ph.D.


When we are in a difficult predicament and don't know how to get out, this is not the best time for clear thinking. Often we feel totally alone, helpless, and have no idea what to do next. Usually there are things we can do for ourselves if we just step out of the panic, but there are also outside sources of help. Herë are some of them.

1. Crisis line or hot line.

They used to be called suicide lines, but nöw deal with a far wider range of problems. Most of them have well-trained staff and a huge database of support groups and other potential sources of help. They may or may not help you directly, but they can almost certainly advise you where to turn.

2. Old friends.

Forget your pride. We would all prefer to contact old friends in times of triumph, not crisis, but if they really are your friends they will be glad to offer help, or at least a listening ear. True, it is not wise to keep on turning to anyone in times of crisis if you ignore them in times of success. That will get old very fast. But reach out to them anyway. Just remember to stay in touch when things get better.

3. Support groups.

Support groups are not just for alcoholics any more. There are support groups for almost any problem. You will find support from people who have been there, done that, and you will probably be able to learn from their experiences. At the very least, you will find that you are not alone. Most local newspapers and crisis lines maintain lists of support groups.

4. Coach.

A coach supplies support, a listening and sympathetic ear, a focus on you and your dreams and future success. Most coaches work by phöne, so they cannot actually hand you a tissue, or give you a literal shoulder to cry on, but they can and do this 'virtually.' Even more importantly, they can also help you to problem-solve, to create a plan of action, and to see that the light at the end of the tunnel is the sun shining on your future.

5. Therapist.

Therapy and coaching are not the same. For deep-seated and long-term emotional issues, a therapist is the person to turn to. Chëck your local mental health association for recommendations. Or ask your friends. Many of them have probably benefitted from therapy, and know that to work with a therapist is not a sign of weakness or mental disturbance. It is a sign that you, more than many, understand the wisdom of reaching out for help when you need it.

6. Family.

If you are close, then you do have someone to turn to if, again, you can swallow your pride. Even if you have not spoken to most of your family in years, they are still family, they have the same roots, and the same early memories. Sure, they could refuse to talk with you. But then, would you be any worse off than you are nöw? And the chances are they would be delighted to find a reason to reach out and mend the rift between you.

7. Co-workers.

Some of us fear to reach out to co-workers for help because we think we have to maintain the success image. It is true there may be some colleagues to whom you would be wiser not to show vulnerability. However, if you are in bad emotional shape those who work closely with you almost certainly know it anyway. Many of them will be more than happy to know, rather than speculate wildly, what your problem is, and to act as sounding boards, sources of support, and even to offer practical help. Use discretion in your choice of confidants, but do not assume that you are fooling anyone by trying to 'keep your chin up' and solve your problems alone.

8. Religious leaders.

Most religious leaders these days have received extensive training in pastoral counseling. Most of them have also 'heard it all' and should not be shocked by anything you tell them.

9. God.

Whatever term you choose to use to refer to your God, Higher Power, Creator, unless you are an atheist this can be a continuing source of comfort and inspiration.

10. Your Inner Self.

In times of difficulty, remember that you are wiser than you know. You have within you a wiser self that can be a source of wisdom and serenity if you will take the time to step back from the crisis and turn within. Crisis is not a time to give up journaling, meditating, doing whatever you do to stay in touch with you inner self. If you do not do any förm of inner consciousness work, there is no bad time to start.

About the Author:

This piece was originally submitted by Diana Robinson, Ph.D., Personal & Career Coach, Writer, who can be reached at Diana@ChoiceCoach.com, or visited on the Web at http://www.choicecoach.com/. Diana Robinson wants you to know: I offer coaching to people in transition, and to those who are looking for an edge in the way they present themselves and interact with others. What is common to most of my clients is that they are already on the way up, but want their abilities to become more visible so that they can be even more successful. I work with them to clarify how they want to be perceived and how they can remain true to their authentic selves while they work towards their goals.