------------------------------------------------------
Smiling
The face is a complex palette of emotions. A slight turning up of the lips and a crinkling of the eyes can signal pleasure, contentment, happiness, or satisfaction. But in all cases, a smile is more than it seems. A smiling person is often judged as more attractive, pleasant to be around, sincere, honest, sociable, and inviting and is considered more confident and successful. Smiling is not a learned action. Even those born blind will smile when experiencing a joyful moment. A carefree smile is a quick and easy way to tell the world that you are open to new experiences and eager to meet new people.
It is assumed that a bright smile stems from happiness, but research has also shown that genuine happiness can stem from a smile. Even a smile called forth when you don't necessarily feel like smiling can trigger the release of endorphins, brightening your day. The simple act of smiling can help relieve stress by relaxing your facial muscles and encouraging you to focus on happy memories. And a forced smile, which only involves the muscles of the mouth, can easily turn into a true smile, which lights up the entire face. A smile motivated by real happiness is likely to inspire someone nearby to smile, possibly because of the expression's origins in the primate grin. That grin, which some scientists believe evolved into the smile, signaled that the one grinning was a friend rather than an opponent.
In ancient China, Taoists taught the benefits of the inner smile because they believed it insured happiness, health, and longevity. One smile can lessen the sting of a negative mood and bring on a better one. But don't be self-conscious about it. Smiling is universal and looks great on everyone. A smile, directed inward, outward, or at nothing in particular brightens the world and is a gift to those who see it.
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Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Friday, July 29, 2005
A Credit Check on Your Balance
------------------------------------------------------
- by Catherine Pulsifer
When we go to the bank for a loan they look at our debt ratio by calculating how much we spend on housing, how much we spend using credit cards, etc. Depending on the percentages (and of course, by our credit rating) they agree or don't agree to lend us the money we requested.
If you were to take one week and calculate your percentage for:
- Time spent at work;
- Time spent with your family and friends;
- Time spent improving yourself (whether by taking a course or reading a book, etc.);
- Time spent relaxing;
- Time spent sleeping;
what would your ratio be? Would you say you had a balanced life?
To keep our credit in good standing, we need to ensure we keep an eye on the percentages of where our money is being allocated. If we don't do this, we could end up with not being able to borrow money. The same principle applies to our time. Are we allocating our time in the right percentages? At times, it is difficult to keep a proper balance in our lives. But, over time, an improper balance will lead to problems such as:
- too much time at work leads to burn out;
- too much time with family and friends can cause anxiety with your work;
- too much time improving yourself will leave little time to apply what you have learned;
- too much time relaxing can lead to issues with your work; and,
- too much time sleeping can cause all kinds of problems!
I could flip everyone one of these points and comment instead on "not enough time". But, I think you understand what I am driving at. It is balance; we need it. The sad part is that some people pay more attention to their credit than they do to their own balance in life!
Stop and assess your ratio.
Do you have a life balance?
About The Author:
Catherine Pulsifer is one of editors of Words of Wisdom 4 U, http://www.wow4u.com
Inspirational quotes, inspirational poems, plus more!
- by Catherine Pulsifer
When we go to the bank for a loan they look at our debt ratio by calculating how much we spend on housing, how much we spend using credit cards, etc. Depending on the percentages (and of course, by our credit rating) they agree or don't agree to lend us the money we requested.
If you were to take one week and calculate your percentage for:
- Time spent at work;
- Time spent with your family and friends;
- Time spent improving yourself (whether by taking a course or reading a book, etc.);
- Time spent relaxing;
- Time spent sleeping;
what would your ratio be? Would you say you had a balanced life?
To keep our credit in good standing, we need to ensure we keep an eye on the percentages of where our money is being allocated. If we don't do this, we could end up with not being able to borrow money. The same principle applies to our time. Are we allocating our time in the right percentages? At times, it is difficult to keep a proper balance in our lives. But, over time, an improper balance will lead to problems such as:
- too much time at work leads to burn out;
- too much time with family and friends can cause anxiety with your work;
- too much time improving yourself will leave little time to apply what you have learned;
- too much time relaxing can lead to issues with your work; and,
- too much time sleeping can cause all kinds of problems!
I could flip everyone one of these points and comment instead on "not enough time". But, I think you understand what I am driving at. It is balance; we need it. The sad part is that some people pay more attention to their credit than they do to their own balance in life!
Stop and assess your ratio.
Do you have a life balance?
About The Author:
Catherine Pulsifer is one of editors of Words of Wisdom 4 U, http://www.wow4u.com
Inspirational quotes, inspirational poems, plus more!
YOU CAN MAKE UP YOUR MIND TO BE ANYTHING
--------------------------------------------------
You're special and unique among all the creatures on the planet earth. You've been endowed with the capacity and the power to create desirable pictures inside your mind and to find them automatically printed in the outer world of your environment.
You'll gradually grow into any condition you desire, provided you first make yourself in habitual mental attitude the person who corresponds to that condition.
Picture yourself vividly as winning, and that alone will contribute immeasurably to your success. All your dreams can come true, if you have the courage to pursue them.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You're special and unique among all the creatures on the planet earth. You've been endowed with the capacity and the power to create desirable pictures inside your mind and to find them automatically printed in the outer world of your environment.
You'll gradually grow into any condition you desire, provided you first make yourself in habitual mental attitude the person who corresponds to that condition.
Picture yourself vividly as winning, and that alone will contribute immeasurably to your success. All your dreams can come true, if you have the courage to pursue them.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Journey Of The Soul
-------------------------------------------------------
The Modern Pilgrimage
Since the dawn of spirituality, men and women have sought communion with numerous gods, goddesses, and traditions by leaving the everyday world behind and embarking on a sacred journey. Thus talk of the spirit and of the soul is full of references to travel: leaving yourself behind, walking the walk, and journeys of the soul. Making a pilgrimage is a deeply tangible way of connecting with your spirituality and discovering truths within yourself. The destination isn't as important as devotion and receptiveness, because it is while traveling (by foot, horse, canoe, or car) that you can meditate most deeply on your motivations for undertaking the pilgrimage. The experience is nearly always a quiet one, devoid of television, ringing phones, e-mail, or jostling crowds because a true pilgrimage takes you away from familiar surroundings in order to help you find divinity, healing, clarity, inspiration, or a new perspective.
Pilgrimage to a sacred site of any kind puts the traveler in situations where they must think and behave differently. A sacred journey can take one to far flung places such as Mecca, Kyoto, Europe, Guadalupe, or Cambodia, or camping in hushed forests, sailing through rough waters, or climbing mountains in one's home country. Your yearly vacation can become a pilgrimage, if that is your intent and you are willing to voluntarily give up some of the security of your normal life to experience a new and vibrant setting in a spiritual way. Choose one or more special places and spend a few days getting to know them intimately. Pack lightly, leaving the trappings of your world behind, and let go. Visit areas where people of importance to you, be they family members, heroes, or otherwise, lived, spoke, walked, and died. A trip to the grave of a favorite author can be a pilgrimage as much as a trip to a religious shrine.
Pilgrimages were considered vital to spiritual growth during much of history and, today, people are once again seeking that growth through travel. But, on such a journey, it is important to remember that most pilgrimages bring about gradual change. The stirring of the soul can happen anywhere. And it can solidify a spiritual experience, end doubt, and help you gain confidence in your chosen path. A new outlook may very well emerge from it.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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The Modern Pilgrimage
Since the dawn of spirituality, men and women have sought communion with numerous gods, goddesses, and traditions by leaving the everyday world behind and embarking on a sacred journey. Thus talk of the spirit and of the soul is full of references to travel: leaving yourself behind, walking the walk, and journeys of the soul. Making a pilgrimage is a deeply tangible way of connecting with your spirituality and discovering truths within yourself. The destination isn't as important as devotion and receptiveness, because it is while traveling (by foot, horse, canoe, or car) that you can meditate most deeply on your motivations for undertaking the pilgrimage. The experience is nearly always a quiet one, devoid of television, ringing phones, e-mail, or jostling crowds because a true pilgrimage takes you away from familiar surroundings in order to help you find divinity, healing, clarity, inspiration, or a new perspective.
Pilgrimage to a sacred site of any kind puts the traveler in situations where they must think and behave differently. A sacred journey can take one to far flung places such as Mecca, Kyoto, Europe, Guadalupe, or Cambodia, or camping in hushed forests, sailing through rough waters, or climbing mountains in one's home country. Your yearly vacation can become a pilgrimage, if that is your intent and you are willing to voluntarily give up some of the security of your normal life to experience a new and vibrant setting in a spiritual way. Choose one or more special places and spend a few days getting to know them intimately. Pack lightly, leaving the trappings of your world behind, and let go. Visit areas where people of importance to you, be they family members, heroes, or otherwise, lived, spoke, walked, and died. A trip to the grave of a favorite author can be a pilgrimage as much as a trip to a religious shrine.
Pilgrimages were considered vital to spiritual growth during much of history and, today, people are once again seeking that growth through travel. But, on such a journey, it is important to remember that most pilgrimages bring about gradual change. The stirring of the soul can happen anywhere. And it can solidify a spiritual experience, end doubt, and help you gain confidence in your chosen path. A new outlook may very well emerge from it.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Core Performance
The Revolutionary Workout Program to
Transform Your Body and Your Life
---------------------------------------------------
– By Mark Verstegen and Pete Williams
The Foundation:
Building Your Pillar of Strength
We have a tendency to think of movement as starting from the limbs. If we reach out to grab something or step forward, we think of those motions as originating with the end result -- we've reached out; therefore, we've used our arms. We've stepped forward, so we've worked our legs. Uncountable exercise programs promise bïgger arms or sexïer legs as a primary benefit.
Movement, however, starts from the very center of the body, the core area of the torso. Amputees still can function and have fulfilling lives because their cores remain intact. Frost-bite begins at the fingers and toes, areas farthest from the core, because the body wants to protect what's most important and concentrates its lifesaving heat around the vital organs at the center of the body.
That's why we refer to the torso as the pillar -- it's the structural center of movement and life. The way we maintain that pillar and its alignment and function directly correlate to the health of our organs and the rest of our bodies. Everything is interrelated.
Pillar strength, thus, is the foundation of movement. More specifically, it consists of core, hip, and shoulder stability. Those three areas give us a center axis from which to move. If you think of the body as a wheel, the pillar is the hub, and the limbs, the spokes.
We want to have the hub perfectly aligned so we can draw energy from it and effectively transfer energy throughout the body. It's impossible to move the limbs efficiently and with force if they're not attached to something solid and stable.
The better you can transfer energy through your body, the more efficiently you will move, and the less wear and tear there will be. If you have good pillar strength and take a step, force will pass evenly through your foot, calf, and hip -- right up the pillar and through the top of your head.
If you lack pillar strength, specifically hip stability, the energy "leaks out" at the hip, and the body must compensate. More pressure is placed down toward the knees and up toward the lower back, which over time can cause degenerative problems.
Parents are always telling their children to sit or stand up straight. There's a reason for that. Without pillar strength, without what I call perfect posture, you will significantly increase the potential for injury in a chain that starts with your lower back, descends all the way to your knees and ankles, and rises up to your shoulders and elbows.
Everything in your body is connected and related through this pillar of strength. Your shoulders and spine are related to the core and gluteus maximus (or glutes), and they're interwoven in cross patterns that need to be tuned for maximum efficiency.
Think of a rubber band wrapped around your body. If one end is not attached, you will not develop enough tension. The band is fine, but unless both ends are attached solidly, there's no way to store, release, and transfer energy throughout your body.
For every action, there's a reaction. If I fire and move one muscle, it causes another muscle to react. The muscles stretch and snap back. This dynamic, multiplanar transfer of energy from front to back, side to side, and top to bottom creates fluid movement for people with the greatest pillar strength.
Marion Jones, the world-class sprinter, has tremendous pillar strength. As she sprints 100 meters, there's a smooth transfer of energy through her stable pillar that allows her to run at such great speed. There's perfect harmony between coordination, muscular strength, stability, balance, elasticity, and flexibility.
All movement starts from a remarkable muscle called the transverse abdominis. Think of the TA as nature's weïght belt. It originates from the lower spine and wraps around and attaches to the ribs, abdominals, and pelvis. When we draw the belly button in toward the spine and up toward the ribs, we're essentially tightening a belt, ensuring the protection of the pelvis and lower back. Your natural weïght belt stabilizes the pelvis and supports the torso.
Whenever movement begins, the TA is the first muscle that fires -- or, at least, it should be. For many people, that ability is lost over time on account of injuries or sedentary lifestyles. We spend so much time in front of computers and televisions that we develop bad posture. Injuries are a result and exacerbate the problem further.
Workers at home-improvement stores are required to wear snug belts around their backs and abdominals when lifting or moving objects for safety reasons. They need to wear such devices because their bodies no longer activate their natural weïght belts.
If we can learn (or relearn) how to activate the TA, we can rely on nature's weïght belt and not wear additional support. We'll be able to stabilize the pelvis so that the leg and torso muscles can turn to it for support. That, in turn, prevents back problems. The body will be able to transfer force efficiently through the muscles rather than through the back and joints.
You'll relearn how to activate your TA early in this program, and though it's an easy process, you'll have to make a conscious effort at the beginning. Soon you'll find that it's second nature, and you will no longer have to think about it.
Nöw that you are conscious of the role of the transverse abdominis in core stability, we need to address your shoulders, another key element of perfect posture. Think of a skeleton hanging in a classroom. Its shoulders are naturally hanging back and down, giving it perfect posture and alignment.
Unfortunately, most people have a tendency to slump forward, with their shoulder blades sliding forward and up. If you spend much of your day in front of a computer, as many working Americans do, you're probably slumping over, even if you're not conscious of it. Unless you make some changes, you're going to end up hunched over like so many of our elderly friends who, sadly, nevër were exposed to a program like this years ago, when they most needed it.
I want you to keep your shoulder blades pulled back and down toward your waist, as if thrusting your chest up. You'll hear me reiterate it ("SBD") during the instructions for many exercises. It's important to keep your shoulders in this position throughout the program and throughout life.
Another key concept to understand about pillar strength is the fascial planes that wrap around the body. Think of these planes as the ropes that tie your muscles together. They ultimately tie a glute into your opposite shoulder and your hip muscles to your lower back.
Let's say you were standing on an observation deck looking directly down upon golfer Tiger Woods at the tee. As his club comes back, his shoulders turn, and his lower body remains stable, if only for a moment. At that ïnstant, from your vantage point, his body would förm the letter X. He's able to disassociate his shoulders and hips as he moves across the transverse plane to generate incredible power. Why? Because he's developed incredible mobility and pillar strength.
(Reprinted from: Core Performance: The Revolutionary Workout Program to Transform Your Body and Your Life, by Mark Verstegen and Pete Williams © 2004 by Mark Verstegen (January 2004; Hardcover; $29.95US/$44.95CAN; 1-57954-908-X) Permission granted by Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever books are sold or directly from the publisher by calling (800) 848-4735 or visit their website at www.rodalestore.com.)
About the Authors:
Mark Verstegen directs a 25-person team of performance specialists and nutritionists to train some of the biggest names in sports. He serves as director of performance for the NFL Players Association, is an advisor to Adidas, and serves as a consultant to numerous athletic governing bodies, including the U.S. Tennis Association.
Pete Williams is a contributing writer to Street & Smith's SportsBusiness Journal and USA Today Sports Weekly. He has written about fitness and performance for numerous publications and is the author of two books on the sports-memorabilia business: Card Sharks and Sports Memorabilia for Dummies.
For more information, please visit http://www.athletesperformance.com or http://www.writtenvoices.com
Transform Your Body and Your Life
---------------------------------------------------
– By Mark Verstegen and Pete Williams
The Foundation:
Building Your Pillar of Strength
We have a tendency to think of movement as starting from the limbs. If we reach out to grab something or step forward, we think of those motions as originating with the end result -- we've reached out; therefore, we've used our arms. We've stepped forward, so we've worked our legs. Uncountable exercise programs promise bïgger arms or sexïer legs as a primary benefit.
Movement, however, starts from the very center of the body, the core area of the torso. Amputees still can function and have fulfilling lives because their cores remain intact. Frost-bite begins at the fingers and toes, areas farthest from the core, because the body wants to protect what's most important and concentrates its lifesaving heat around the vital organs at the center of the body.
That's why we refer to the torso as the pillar -- it's the structural center of movement and life. The way we maintain that pillar and its alignment and function directly correlate to the health of our organs and the rest of our bodies. Everything is interrelated.
Pillar strength, thus, is the foundation of movement. More specifically, it consists of core, hip, and shoulder stability. Those three areas give us a center axis from which to move. If you think of the body as a wheel, the pillar is the hub, and the limbs, the spokes.
We want to have the hub perfectly aligned so we can draw energy from it and effectively transfer energy throughout the body. It's impossible to move the limbs efficiently and with force if they're not attached to something solid and stable.
The better you can transfer energy through your body, the more efficiently you will move, and the less wear and tear there will be. If you have good pillar strength and take a step, force will pass evenly through your foot, calf, and hip -- right up the pillar and through the top of your head.
If you lack pillar strength, specifically hip stability, the energy "leaks out" at the hip, and the body must compensate. More pressure is placed down toward the knees and up toward the lower back, which over time can cause degenerative problems.
Parents are always telling their children to sit or stand up straight. There's a reason for that. Without pillar strength, without what I call perfect posture, you will significantly increase the potential for injury in a chain that starts with your lower back, descends all the way to your knees and ankles, and rises up to your shoulders and elbows.
Everything in your body is connected and related through this pillar of strength. Your shoulders and spine are related to the core and gluteus maximus (or glutes), and they're interwoven in cross patterns that need to be tuned for maximum efficiency.
Think of a rubber band wrapped around your body. If one end is not attached, you will not develop enough tension. The band is fine, but unless both ends are attached solidly, there's no way to store, release, and transfer energy throughout your body.
For every action, there's a reaction. If I fire and move one muscle, it causes another muscle to react. The muscles stretch and snap back. This dynamic, multiplanar transfer of energy from front to back, side to side, and top to bottom creates fluid movement for people with the greatest pillar strength.
Marion Jones, the world-class sprinter, has tremendous pillar strength. As she sprints 100 meters, there's a smooth transfer of energy through her stable pillar that allows her to run at such great speed. There's perfect harmony between coordination, muscular strength, stability, balance, elasticity, and flexibility.
All movement starts from a remarkable muscle called the transverse abdominis. Think of the TA as nature's weïght belt. It originates from the lower spine and wraps around and attaches to the ribs, abdominals, and pelvis. When we draw the belly button in toward the spine and up toward the ribs, we're essentially tightening a belt, ensuring the protection of the pelvis and lower back. Your natural weïght belt stabilizes the pelvis and supports the torso.
Whenever movement begins, the TA is the first muscle that fires -- or, at least, it should be. For many people, that ability is lost over time on account of injuries or sedentary lifestyles. We spend so much time in front of computers and televisions that we develop bad posture. Injuries are a result and exacerbate the problem further.
Workers at home-improvement stores are required to wear snug belts around their backs and abdominals when lifting or moving objects for safety reasons. They need to wear such devices because their bodies no longer activate their natural weïght belts.
If we can learn (or relearn) how to activate the TA, we can rely on nature's weïght belt and not wear additional support. We'll be able to stabilize the pelvis so that the leg and torso muscles can turn to it for support. That, in turn, prevents back problems. The body will be able to transfer force efficiently through the muscles rather than through the back and joints.
You'll relearn how to activate your TA early in this program, and though it's an easy process, you'll have to make a conscious effort at the beginning. Soon you'll find that it's second nature, and you will no longer have to think about it.
Nöw that you are conscious of the role of the transverse abdominis in core stability, we need to address your shoulders, another key element of perfect posture. Think of a skeleton hanging in a classroom. Its shoulders are naturally hanging back and down, giving it perfect posture and alignment.
Unfortunately, most people have a tendency to slump forward, with their shoulder blades sliding forward and up. If you spend much of your day in front of a computer, as many working Americans do, you're probably slumping over, even if you're not conscious of it. Unless you make some changes, you're going to end up hunched over like so many of our elderly friends who, sadly, nevër were exposed to a program like this years ago, when they most needed it.
I want you to keep your shoulder blades pulled back and down toward your waist, as if thrusting your chest up. You'll hear me reiterate it ("SBD") during the instructions for many exercises. It's important to keep your shoulders in this position throughout the program and throughout life.
Another key concept to understand about pillar strength is the fascial planes that wrap around the body. Think of these planes as the ropes that tie your muscles together. They ultimately tie a glute into your opposite shoulder and your hip muscles to your lower back.
Let's say you were standing on an observation deck looking directly down upon golfer Tiger Woods at the tee. As his club comes back, his shoulders turn, and his lower body remains stable, if only for a moment. At that ïnstant, from your vantage point, his body would förm the letter X. He's able to disassociate his shoulders and hips as he moves across the transverse plane to generate incredible power. Why? Because he's developed incredible mobility and pillar strength.
(Reprinted from: Core Performance: The Revolutionary Workout Program to Transform Your Body and Your Life, by Mark Verstegen and Pete Williams © 2004 by Mark Verstegen (January 2004; Hardcover; $29.95US/$44.95CAN; 1-57954-908-X) Permission granted by Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever books are sold or directly from the publisher by calling (800) 848-4735 or visit their website at www.rodalestore.com.)
About the Authors:
Mark Verstegen directs a 25-person team of performance specialists and nutritionists to train some of the biggest names in sports. He serves as director of performance for the NFL Players Association, is an advisor to Adidas, and serves as a consultant to numerous athletic governing bodies, including the U.S. Tennis Association.
Pete Williams is a contributing writer to Street & Smith's SportsBusiness Journal and USA Today Sports Weekly. He has written about fitness and performance for numerous publications and is the author of two books on the sports-memorabilia business: Card Sharks and Sports Memorabilia for Dummies.
For more information, please visit http://www.athletesperformance.com or http://www.writtenvoices.com
SUCCESS STARTS WHEN YOU BEGIN
-------------------------------------------------
Your opportunity for success is where you are right now. Everyone who got where they are had to begin where they were.
To attain success or to reach your goal, don't worry about having all the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of your goal.
Don't procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break those problems into parts, and handle one part at a time.
Develop a bias toward action. You can make something happen, today. Break your big plan for success into small steps and take the first step right away.
The highest mountain is climbed one step at a time. Take your first step today.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Your opportunity for success is where you are right now. Everyone who got where they are had to begin where they were.
To attain success or to reach your goal, don't worry about having all the answers in advance. You just need to have a clear idea of your goal.
Don't procrastinate when faced with a difficult problem. Break those problems into parts, and handle one part at a time.
Develop a bias toward action. You can make something happen, today. Break your big plan for success into small steps and take the first step right away.
The highest mountain is climbed one step at a time. Take your first step today.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Waiting For The Other Shoe To Drop
----------------------------------------------------
Focusing On Negative Possibilities
Many people, who find themselves in a good situation, look suspiciously around for the catch. Or they unconsciously brace themselves for the bad that they believe must necessarily follow the good. It's easy to believe that positive fortune is too good to last and that happiness is always fleeting. But waiting for the other shoe to drop or for the rug to be pulled out from under your feet isn't healthy. Always focusing on the negative possibilities can put you on edge and even invite those negative possibilities in. While you remain hyper vigilant, you necessarily must wait, doing your best to protect yourself from uncertain events. It becomes more difficult to enjoy happiness and success when you are on guard against what's coming next. There are, however, steps you can take to confront a tendency to focus on the 'other shoe' by confronting your feelings and discovering what is standing in the way of optimism.
The fear that happiness is temporary is often rooted in the subconscious mind and past experiences that have fostered a pessimistic outlook. We are often afraid to trust in our own potential or feel guilty when our lives go too well because we don't believe we deserve success. But the truth is that we do and that there is no reason that a boon must be followed by a loss. When you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop, ask yourself if there is a strong possibility of something negative happening, or if your mind has conjured up the fear that your positive situation cannot last. If your subconscious is telling you that you don't deserve happiness, counter it by reaffirming your worth. Put a motivational affirmation on display in your home or office, or create a positive mantra, then focus on the present. The future is unknown, give yourself permission to enjoy the things going well for you right now.
It may take time for you to fully believe that you have control over your own happiness and that you can hold on to that happiness without worrying about what the future will bring. You may want to remember that you have more control over your life than you may realize. The 'other shoe' may drop or it may not, but it is your own attitude that will ultimately let you hold on to the result of good things in life, while letting the bad things go.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Focusing On Negative Possibilities
Many people, who find themselves in a good situation, look suspiciously around for the catch. Or they unconsciously brace themselves for the bad that they believe must necessarily follow the good. It's easy to believe that positive fortune is too good to last and that happiness is always fleeting. But waiting for the other shoe to drop or for the rug to be pulled out from under your feet isn't healthy. Always focusing on the negative possibilities can put you on edge and even invite those negative possibilities in. While you remain hyper vigilant, you necessarily must wait, doing your best to protect yourself from uncertain events. It becomes more difficult to enjoy happiness and success when you are on guard against what's coming next. There are, however, steps you can take to confront a tendency to focus on the 'other shoe' by confronting your feelings and discovering what is standing in the way of optimism.
The fear that happiness is temporary is often rooted in the subconscious mind and past experiences that have fostered a pessimistic outlook. We are often afraid to trust in our own potential or feel guilty when our lives go too well because we don't believe we deserve success. But the truth is that we do and that there is no reason that a boon must be followed by a loss. When you find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop, ask yourself if there is a strong possibility of something negative happening, or if your mind has conjured up the fear that your positive situation cannot last. If your subconscious is telling you that you don't deserve happiness, counter it by reaffirming your worth. Put a motivational affirmation on display in your home or office, or create a positive mantra, then focus on the present. The future is unknown, give yourself permission to enjoy the things going well for you right now.
It may take time for you to fully believe that you have control over your own happiness and that you can hold on to that happiness without worrying about what the future will bring. You may want to remember that you have more control over your life than you may realize. The 'other shoe' may drop or it may not, but it is your own attitude that will ultimately let you hold on to the result of good things in life, while letting the bad things go.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
The Top 10 Things to be Grateful For Each and Every Day
----------------------------------------------------
- By Dennis R. Tesdell
This list seems very basic. Yet not everyone in this country or in the world has, or will be able to be grateful for, all of these things. In their life some of these things do not exist nöw, nor have they ever existed. Thanksgiving Holiday is more than turkey, Grandma's pumpkin pie, half-price säles and sports events. This list is one which, hopefully, everyone reading it can say applies to them. However simple it may seem, it is humbling and sad to realize that many in our country and even more in other countries, only have 1-2 things on this list each day, while most if not all of us have all ten! Perhaps if we are thankful for these basic things daily, it will help ourselves and others gain more abundance, or at least we will appreciate our own more.
1. Waking Up Alive.
George Burns once said a great day for him was waking up and not seeing candles, a church, and his friends all dressed in black. He was blessed financially and health wise. Many, in this country and in other countries, are lucky to make it to age 10, let alone 100.
2. Decent Air to Breathe.
While everyone has this, in some places in the world, the air is so polluted and foul smelling, the people die of respiratory ailments just from breathing.
3. A New Day to Learn and to Earn a Livelihood.
Most of us live in areas with very low un-employment rates. If we choose and need to work and have a job, we can earn monëy daily or weekly *somehow*. Others are in school or educational environments. They can learn or increase what they already know. Many people have no jobs and will nevër have a chance to learn a basic education.
4. A Home In Which to Eat, Sleep, Live, and Relax.
We are blessed if we are not one of the millïons of people whose home consists of a car, an abandoned house or building, cardboard or tin constructed "shelters," or the bare earth or grass. Think about pictures you may have seen of the homeless when you complain about your home or apartment being too cold or warm, or the utility bill being too high.
5. Ample Clean Food to Eat and the Option to Buy as Much as We Need.
Most of us nevër have experienced waiting in line 2-6 hours to buy a loaf of bread, some flour, eggs, etc. We don't know what it is like to wait for a truck to pull up and hand out boxes or containers of rice or Red Cross rations. We've nevër dug in dumpsters behind a grocery store or restaurant to get the food that was thrown out to have for our daily meal. Food is expensive for many. At least in the U.S. we have no lack of it and it is not rationed out to us or sold at black market prices.
6. Friends, Family and Pets.
Most all of us have one or more of these three things in our life. In some parts of the country and the world, people are alone--young children are alone. And the "pet" may have to end up feeding a family or a group of people due to lack of any other food supply. We spend more monëy on the food and vet bills for our pets than many people in poor countries MAKE in income in 1-3 years!
7. Living in a Democratic Society.
Not talking or pushing politics. But we are frëe to pretty much do and say what we wish as covered by the Bill of Rights. And we don't have tanks and armed soldiers walking the streets 24 hours a day looking for looters, guerillas and terrorists. Life and the government isn't at all perfect herë. But it sure beats anything else I have seen or read about in my lifetïme.
8. Abundant Natural Resources.
Yes we need to clean up our water and air, and plant more trees, etc. But we *do* have in our towns, water and sewage control that are sanitary to use and maintained. Our air quality varies from town to town, and on average is much better than in many other countries in the world. We also have ample supplies of electricity, gas, and other resources we need to live and thrive personally and industrially.
9. Clothing to Protect Us from the Elements and to Even Enhance Our Appearance.
True, there are places in the U.S. where people in poverty lack adequate clothing. Compared to our population, however, the majority of us have adequate clothes, and many of us have clothing that is both functional and attractive as well.
10. The Gift of Choice.
This is something everyone has no matter where they live. Even if they live in a poor non-democratic society, we all have the choice to make decisions, to act, and to be however we wish, as adults at least. This was given to us at birth and is nevër taken away, but is often taken for granted, ignored, or not fully developed or used.
About the Author:
Dennis R. Tesdell is an experienced personal development and self-care coach as well as an author on personal growth, self-care and self improvement issues.
- By Dennis R. Tesdell
This list seems very basic. Yet not everyone in this country or in the world has, or will be able to be grateful for, all of these things. In their life some of these things do not exist nöw, nor have they ever existed. Thanksgiving Holiday is more than turkey, Grandma's pumpkin pie, half-price säles and sports events. This list is one which, hopefully, everyone reading it can say applies to them. However simple it may seem, it is humbling and sad to realize that many in our country and even more in other countries, only have 1-2 things on this list each day, while most if not all of us have all ten! Perhaps if we are thankful for these basic things daily, it will help ourselves and others gain more abundance, or at least we will appreciate our own more.
1. Waking Up Alive.
George Burns once said a great day for him was waking up and not seeing candles, a church, and his friends all dressed in black. He was blessed financially and health wise. Many, in this country and in other countries, are lucky to make it to age 10, let alone 100.
2. Decent Air to Breathe.
While everyone has this, in some places in the world, the air is so polluted and foul smelling, the people die of respiratory ailments just from breathing.
3. A New Day to Learn and to Earn a Livelihood.
Most of us live in areas with very low un-employment rates. If we choose and need to work and have a job, we can earn monëy daily or weekly *somehow*. Others are in school or educational environments. They can learn or increase what they already know. Many people have no jobs and will nevër have a chance to learn a basic education.
4. A Home In Which to Eat, Sleep, Live, and Relax.
We are blessed if we are not one of the millïons of people whose home consists of a car, an abandoned house or building, cardboard or tin constructed "shelters," or the bare earth or grass. Think about pictures you may have seen of the homeless when you complain about your home or apartment being too cold or warm, or the utility bill being too high.
5. Ample Clean Food to Eat and the Option to Buy as Much as We Need.
Most of us nevër have experienced waiting in line 2-6 hours to buy a loaf of bread, some flour, eggs, etc. We don't know what it is like to wait for a truck to pull up and hand out boxes or containers of rice or Red Cross rations. We've nevër dug in dumpsters behind a grocery store or restaurant to get the food that was thrown out to have for our daily meal. Food is expensive for many. At least in the U.S. we have no lack of it and it is not rationed out to us or sold at black market prices.
6. Friends, Family and Pets.
Most all of us have one or more of these three things in our life. In some parts of the country and the world, people are alone--young children are alone. And the "pet" may have to end up feeding a family or a group of people due to lack of any other food supply. We spend more monëy on the food and vet bills for our pets than many people in poor countries MAKE in income in 1-3 years!
7. Living in a Democratic Society.
Not talking or pushing politics. But we are frëe to pretty much do and say what we wish as covered by the Bill of Rights. And we don't have tanks and armed soldiers walking the streets 24 hours a day looking for looters, guerillas and terrorists. Life and the government isn't at all perfect herë. But it sure beats anything else I have seen or read about in my lifetïme.
8. Abundant Natural Resources.
Yes we need to clean up our water and air, and plant more trees, etc. But we *do* have in our towns, water and sewage control that are sanitary to use and maintained. Our air quality varies from town to town, and on average is much better than in many other countries in the world. We also have ample supplies of electricity, gas, and other resources we need to live and thrive personally and industrially.
9. Clothing to Protect Us from the Elements and to Even Enhance Our Appearance.
True, there are places in the U.S. where people in poverty lack adequate clothing. Compared to our population, however, the majority of us have adequate clothes, and many of us have clothing that is both functional and attractive as well.
10. The Gift of Choice.
This is something everyone has no matter where they live. Even if they live in a poor non-democratic society, we all have the choice to make decisions, to act, and to be however we wish, as adults at least. This was given to us at birth and is nevër taken away, but is often taken for granted, ignored, or not fully developed or used.
About the Author:
Dennis R. Tesdell is an experienced personal development and self-care coach as well as an author on personal growth, self-care and self improvement issues.
SUCCESSFUL ACTION IS CUMULATIVE IN RESULTS
--------------------------------------------------
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. Many people take the first step and then stop. Yet, with every additional step you take, you enhance immensely the value of your first step.
All masters of success are chiefly distinguished by their power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a fourth step in a continuous line.
There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession, is the rule of life. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.
Do not despise the bottom rungs in your ascent to greatness.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out. Many people take the first step and then stop. Yet, with every additional step you take, you enhance immensely the value of your first step.
All masters of success are chiefly distinguished by their power of adding a second, a third, and perhaps a fourth step in a continuous line.
There is no royal road to anything. One thing at a time, all things in succession, is the rule of life. That which grows fast, withers as rapidly. That which grows slowly, endures.
Do not despise the bottom rungs in your ascent to greatness.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Being Who You Are
------------------------------------------------------
Living Your Truth
When we are young children, we live authentically, seldom afraid or embarrassed to seek out what we want or to speak our minds. As we grow older, we tend to tuck that authenticity away, putting it aside while we chase our dreams, afraid that it might hinder us in our success. But we never let that freedom go completely. We may conform to society while embracing secret passions when alone. We may withhold certain opinions, though it doesn't change the fact that we possess them. It is important, however, to never stray too far from that youthful brashness and self-interest for they are qualities that help make you who you are. The authentic you is your true self and, in living authentically, you live your truth, making time for the things you love and projecting who you really are. The simplest way to live your truth is to leave the expectations of other behind and live the way you feel most worthwhile.
It takes being selfish in a healthy way by doing what you know is best for you, regardless of the opinions of others - even the opinions of close friends and family. Living authentically means that you make choices without fear, trusting in your soul's wisdom... If you value personal pursuits, don't feel forced into a certain job just to make enough money to keep up with your neighbors. Conversely, if you prize success in business, don't let others' perception of what's right for you hold you back. Denying your unique truth can lead to feelings of failure and dissatisfaction because you aren't acknowledging your true self. In living your truth, there are no pretenses. Everything you do will reflect who you truly are.
If you are unsure of who the authentic you really is, look inward and ask yourself what your purpose, values, and needs are. Honor your strengths and don't let yourself be guided by what other expect of you. Finally, discover your passions by trying new things, and sticking with those things that stir your soul. Finding who you really are and then making the choice to embrace you true dreams and desires will take your life in a direction that is both satisfying and deeply meaningful.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Living Your Truth
When we are young children, we live authentically, seldom afraid or embarrassed to seek out what we want or to speak our minds. As we grow older, we tend to tuck that authenticity away, putting it aside while we chase our dreams, afraid that it might hinder us in our success. But we never let that freedom go completely. We may conform to society while embracing secret passions when alone. We may withhold certain opinions, though it doesn't change the fact that we possess them. It is important, however, to never stray too far from that youthful brashness and self-interest for they are qualities that help make you who you are. The authentic you is your true self and, in living authentically, you live your truth, making time for the things you love and projecting who you really are. The simplest way to live your truth is to leave the expectations of other behind and live the way you feel most worthwhile.
It takes being selfish in a healthy way by doing what you know is best for you, regardless of the opinions of others - even the opinions of close friends and family. Living authentically means that you make choices without fear, trusting in your soul's wisdom... If you value personal pursuits, don't feel forced into a certain job just to make enough money to keep up with your neighbors. Conversely, if you prize success in business, don't let others' perception of what's right for you hold you back. Denying your unique truth can lead to feelings of failure and dissatisfaction because you aren't acknowledging your true self. In living your truth, there are no pretenses. Everything you do will reflect who you truly are.
If you are unsure of who the authentic you really is, look inward and ask yourself what your purpose, values, and needs are. Honor your strengths and don't let yourself be guided by what other expect of you. Finally, discover your passions by trying new things, and sticking with those things that stir your soul. Finding who you really are and then making the choice to embrace you true dreams and desires will take your life in a direction that is both satisfying and deeply meaningful.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Thinking Like a Billionaire. Playing the Trump Card
----------------------------------------------------
– By Christopher Howard
Einstein once said, "We can't solve a problem at the same level of thinking we used to create the problem." Relative to business, if we want to move past financial barriers and increase our own ability to make monëy, we've got to explore new ways of thinking and behaving beyond our normal parameters. In other words, sometimes going out of our minds is a good thing, especially when we can get into someone else's head like billionaire genius Donald Trump.
Business Profile:
Son of a contractor, six billion dollar net worth, nearly half the New York skyline and seven new skyscrapers going up in his name, four golf courses, three best-selling books, the number one top rated reality show "The Apprentice" and a soon-to-be-released Trump credït card. Even with his casinos $1.8 billion in dëbt, Trump is seemingly invincible.
How has one man been able to achieve so much? What values and assumptions drive him? What traits, attitudes and strategies set him apart from all the average wage earners and business owners out there? And more importantly, how can you begin to adopt these strategies yourself to propel yourself on to massive success? Let's break down just a small portion of the mindset that has allowed Donald Trump to create all that he has.
Formula for Success:
If Trump were to give us his own success formula it might be Efficiency + Discipline = Power, power being the ability to act effectively to get things done. Trump starts each day by waking up at 6 a.m. to read several newspapers in order to keep on top of what's going on in the world. He doesn't leave the office until at least 6: 30 p.m. every day. Although he works long hours he maintains the attitude that it's not how many hours you put in, it's what you get done that's important. As he puts it in The Art of the Deal, "You consistently do the things that you know will get results. You push forward, then you push forward some more, and you nevër let your adversaries see you worried."
Trump himself also credïts toughness as the secrët to his survival. Throughout his schooling in a military academy, Trump respected a teacher by the name of Theodore Dobias, a former Marine drill sergeant who would slap him around if he spoke back to him. Till this day, Trump will fight when he feels he's up against a wall, even when it's financially risky. He even cultivates this tough image, knowing that the other side "won't even bother asking for certain things when they think you are invincible."
Personality Profile:
Those are some of the strategies and character traits that have made the man. Herë are a few values and beliefs you can try on for size: Trump has been quoted as saying, "Monëy in itself is not a very interesting commodity. What is fascinating, to me at least, is the game we all play. If you have a striving personality, the challenge matters most, not the reward." He put his monëy (and the city's monëy) where his mouth is on his proposed deal to renovate New York's crumbling Commodore Hotel. Where everyone else saw a lost cause, Trump saw potential and boldly asked the
city for an unprecedented forty year tax abatement to turn it around. As an overall strategy, Trump shoots for the moon and keeps pushing until he gets the moon. His success today is essentially built on that bit of bravado.
It's also become a Trump hallmark to be the best and out-shine the rest. After New York spent six years trying unsuccessfully to re-build Central Park's ice-skating rink, Trump stepped in completing it in less time for less monëy. He did it by choosing a Canadian contractor because, "Ice skating is to Canadians what baseball is to Americans - the national pastime." In fact, Trump values quality so highly he is notorious for hiring the most-qualified people from his competitors and out-paying them.
If you're going to think at all, you might as well think big when learning from the super successful, pick and choose which aspects of the billionaire's mindset serve your own values and your company's mission. Expanding your perspective will expand your choices and therefore your horizons. This week, see how you would run your business differently if you tried on Trump's shoes for size. How would you make decisions if you looked at life as a game and monëy as the means for keeping score? What bïgger challenges might you take on for greater rewards? When problem-solving consider, "What would 'The Donald' do?" Be able to recognize valuable opportunïties where others see crumbling lost causes. And next time you go into negotiations, play your Trump card and see how it can pay off in spades.
About the Author:
Christopher Howard is an expert in the psychology of wealth and leadership. Order his book "Turning Passions Into Profïts". Visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/chrishoward.html
– By Christopher Howard
Einstein once said, "We can't solve a problem at the same level of thinking we used to create the problem." Relative to business, if we want to move past financial barriers and increase our own ability to make monëy, we've got to explore new ways of thinking and behaving beyond our normal parameters. In other words, sometimes going out of our minds is a good thing, especially when we can get into someone else's head like billionaire genius Donald Trump.
Business Profile:
Son of a contractor, six billion dollar net worth, nearly half the New York skyline and seven new skyscrapers going up in his name, four golf courses, three best-selling books, the number one top rated reality show "The Apprentice" and a soon-to-be-released Trump credït card. Even with his casinos $1.8 billion in dëbt, Trump is seemingly invincible.
How has one man been able to achieve so much? What values and assumptions drive him? What traits, attitudes and strategies set him apart from all the average wage earners and business owners out there? And more importantly, how can you begin to adopt these strategies yourself to propel yourself on to massive success? Let's break down just a small portion of the mindset that has allowed Donald Trump to create all that he has.
Formula for Success:
If Trump were to give us his own success formula it might be Efficiency + Discipline = Power, power being the ability to act effectively to get things done. Trump starts each day by waking up at 6 a.m. to read several newspapers in order to keep on top of what's going on in the world. He doesn't leave the office until at least 6: 30 p.m. every day. Although he works long hours he maintains the attitude that it's not how many hours you put in, it's what you get done that's important. As he puts it in The Art of the Deal, "You consistently do the things that you know will get results. You push forward, then you push forward some more, and you nevër let your adversaries see you worried."
Trump himself also credïts toughness as the secrët to his survival. Throughout his schooling in a military academy, Trump respected a teacher by the name of Theodore Dobias, a former Marine drill sergeant who would slap him around if he spoke back to him. Till this day, Trump will fight when he feels he's up against a wall, even when it's financially risky. He even cultivates this tough image, knowing that the other side "won't even bother asking for certain things when they think you are invincible."
Personality Profile:
Those are some of the strategies and character traits that have made the man. Herë are a few values and beliefs you can try on for size: Trump has been quoted as saying, "Monëy in itself is not a very interesting commodity. What is fascinating, to me at least, is the game we all play. If you have a striving personality, the challenge matters most, not the reward." He put his monëy (and the city's monëy) where his mouth is on his proposed deal to renovate New York's crumbling Commodore Hotel. Where everyone else saw a lost cause, Trump saw potential and boldly asked the
city for an unprecedented forty year tax abatement to turn it around. As an overall strategy, Trump shoots for the moon and keeps pushing until he gets the moon. His success today is essentially built on that bit of bravado.
It's also become a Trump hallmark to be the best and out-shine the rest. After New York spent six years trying unsuccessfully to re-build Central Park's ice-skating rink, Trump stepped in completing it in less time for less monëy. He did it by choosing a Canadian contractor because, "Ice skating is to Canadians what baseball is to Americans - the national pastime." In fact, Trump values quality so highly he is notorious for hiring the most-qualified people from his competitors and out-paying them.
If you're going to think at all, you might as well think big when learning from the super successful, pick and choose which aspects of the billionaire's mindset serve your own values and your company's mission. Expanding your perspective will expand your choices and therefore your horizons. This week, see how you would run your business differently if you tried on Trump's shoes for size. How would you make decisions if you looked at life as a game and monëy as the means for keeping score? What bïgger challenges might you take on for greater rewards? When problem-solving consider, "What would 'The Donald' do?" Be able to recognize valuable opportunïties where others see crumbling lost causes. And next time you go into negotiations, play your Trump card and see how it can pay off in spades.
About the Author:
Christopher Howard is an expert in the psychology of wealth and leadership. Order his book "Turning Passions Into Profïts". Visit http://www.selfgrowth.com/chrishoward.html
YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS
YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS
-----------------------------------------------------
You do not exist for yourself. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be, is the support of others.
Put yourself in another's place, and you'll know why they think and do certain things. You can succeed fastest by helping others to succeed.
Always think in terms of what the other person wants. You'll get everything in life that you want if you'll help enough other people get what they want. Doing things for others always pays dividends.
You're not an isolated island. You're a piece of the planet, a piece of the universe. Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.
Help someone's boat across a river and you'll find your own boat has reached the shore too.
©2005 by Max Steingart
-----------------------------------------------------
You do not exist for yourself. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be, is the support of others.
Put yourself in another's place, and you'll know why they think and do certain things. You can succeed fastest by helping others to succeed.
Always think in terms of what the other person wants. You'll get everything in life that you want if you'll help enough other people get what they want. Doing things for others always pays dividends.
You're not an isolated island. You're a piece of the planet, a piece of the universe. Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.
Help someone's boat across a river and you'll find your own boat has reached the shore too.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, July 25, 2005
Passing Along Secrets
--------------------------------------------------------
Gossip
Passing along secrets, in today's media-rich society, feels natural. We are so bombarded by celebrity news, political rumors, and unsubstantiated insider information that gossip, on large and small scales, has become culturally acceptable. Personal information about others is often regarded as "too good not to share." Gossip, however, is far from harmless. Repeating something heard through the grapevine, telling a story full of unconfirmed information, or betraying a confidence can ruin reputations, destroy friendships, and cause deep emotional wounds. Many times, the gossiper has no hurtful intent and doesn't realize that their actions could have negative consequences.
Gossip is perpetuated for many reasons. Some people use gossip to turn attention away from their own inadequacies, while others use it to grow closer to their chosen group by excluding outsiders. And for many it is simply a form of cruelty that holds few ramifications. But gossip has never helped a victim, solved a problem, or lifted someone's spirit. More often, it is an assault on an individual's character and an invasion of privacy. Words become distorted as they travel from person to person. Luckily, we each have the power to thwart gossip by not believing the rumors we hear and by not passing discrediting information along. If you hear something negative about someone who is not present to defend themselves, ask yourself if what you're hearing is true or based on false information. Instead of accepting the truth of the statement, ask the subject directly. And, if you feel tempted to share the information, ask yourself what purpose sharing the information would serve.
Talking about someone or an occurrence does not always mean you are engaging in gossip. Sometimes, sharing positive information can help a person or build up their reputation. Most gossip is easy to identify because the information involved is hurtful or assumes a great deal. It is an unfortunate fact of life that people tend to spread information, but that information can stop with you. As with most things in life, it may take some practice to get out of the gossip habit. If you feel yourself slipping into gossip, stop, and try to say something nice instead.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Gossip
Passing along secrets, in today's media-rich society, feels natural. We are so bombarded by celebrity news, political rumors, and unsubstantiated insider information that gossip, on large and small scales, has become culturally acceptable. Personal information about others is often regarded as "too good not to share." Gossip, however, is far from harmless. Repeating something heard through the grapevine, telling a story full of unconfirmed information, or betraying a confidence can ruin reputations, destroy friendships, and cause deep emotional wounds. Many times, the gossiper has no hurtful intent and doesn't realize that their actions could have negative consequences.
Gossip is perpetuated for many reasons. Some people use gossip to turn attention away from their own inadequacies, while others use it to grow closer to their chosen group by excluding outsiders. And for many it is simply a form of cruelty that holds few ramifications. But gossip has never helped a victim, solved a problem, or lifted someone's spirit. More often, it is an assault on an individual's character and an invasion of privacy. Words become distorted as they travel from person to person. Luckily, we each have the power to thwart gossip by not believing the rumors we hear and by not passing discrediting information along. If you hear something negative about someone who is not present to defend themselves, ask yourself if what you're hearing is true or based on false information. Instead of accepting the truth of the statement, ask the subject directly. And, if you feel tempted to share the information, ask yourself what purpose sharing the information would serve.
Talking about someone or an occurrence does not always mean you are engaging in gossip. Sometimes, sharing positive information can help a person or build up their reputation. Most gossip is easy to identify because the information involved is hurtful or assumes a great deal. It is an unfortunate fact of life that people tend to spread information, but that information can stop with you. As with most things in life, it may take some practice to get out of the gossip habit. If you feel yourself slipping into gossip, stop, and try to say something nice instead.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
The New Science of Intuition
Medicine® for Energy & Balance
---------------------------------------------------
– By Francesca McCartney, Ph.D.
The Intuition Medicine® practice of grounding is a connection with the earth that provides health benefits. Grounding is a frëe, natural inducer of emotional and physical health. Grounding helps you settle into yourself and create a calm mood when you are overwhelmed by people, activity, or your surroundings. Before you enter a potentially stressful situation, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and visualize your body as a redwood tree rooting you into the earth. Continue to imagine the roots settling you into the earth until you feel relaxed and your mind begins to clear. Use this intuitive grounding imagery to feel at home within yourself wherever you are.
The term grounding has different meanings in different fields. In electrical terms, a grounding circuit serves as a release valve for excess electricity. The surge protector your computer is plugged into uses such a grounding circuit; if there is a sudden burst of energy that exceeds the capacity of the computer, the surge protector directs the excess energy into the grounding circuit and down into the earth, where the energy is neutralized or grounded. In physics, gravity is the force that attracts bodies or particles of matter toward each other. Technology uses a
comparative system, earthing, that relates to the live parts in electronic systems that have one or more direct connections to earth.
A strong intuitive grounding connection also provides a stable base from which to operate in the world. It creates a feeling of safety, centered awareness, clarity, and self-assurance. For most people, this grounding connection is inconsistent. Some activities tend to enhance the strength of their grounding, and others tend to weaken it. What does grounding mean to you? How do you know when you are grounded? Are you grounded right nöw? The first step in learning to ground more consistently is to recognize the times when you are ungrounded in your life.
Think about the items on the lists below and use your own intuition to assess which ones apply to you.
How it feels to be...
Grounded...
Peaceful
Physically coordinated
Confident, calm and in control
Mental clarity
Feel aware of self and body
Ungrounded…
Anxious, Unsure, Uneasy
Bumping into things, stubbing toes, etc.
Nervous and not in control
Spacey, overwhelmed, confused
Cold feet and legs, poor circulation
Gravity Grounding
In our quest for grounding, we have a silent, invisible, yet powerful ally: the force of gravity. We feel it all the time; it keeps our feet planted on the earth. It is a force we are often unaware of. My medical dictionary defines gravitation as the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth.
Imagine lying on a sunny beach and feeling the warmth of the sand. Imagine those feelings and visualize dropping all resistance from your body into the earth. Do you feel heavier, denser, and more relaxed, with an overall sensation of being pulled down to the earth? You are experiencing the pull of gravity. The constancy of nature gives us gravity as a powerful, healing force - a force that brings us back to our own center. Indeed, without gravity we would be floating off the ground! Working with the force of gravity helps you experience and strengthen your personal grounding connection.
Ground Your Life
Energy follows thought, affirmation, intention, and visualization. If you think, affirm, intend, and visualize that you are grounded, then your energy will be grounded. Visualization is an extremely powerful way to enhance your grounding. You may already have techniques that help you feel your grounding connection with the earth, or you may be looking for new ways to experience it. Be creative; experiment with changing your grounding imagery at different times of day. Use specific visualizations that center you during exercise, public speaking, writing – whenever you want to be grounded. Herë are some images to play with in your grounding practice:
-- A ship's anchor
-- Beams of light
-- An electrical cord plugged into a socket at the center of the earth
-- A waterfall
-- Two connecting magnets (you are one, the earth is the other)
Try This!
You can experience the power of gravity grounding in the bäthtub. Next time you take a bäth do not get out of the tub when you pull the plug. Instead, lie there as the water drains out. You will be treated to a very tactile sense of gravity's power. Human bodies are naturally buoyant, so water reduces the effect gravity has on us. If you have been soaking in water for at least twenty minutes, you will have a sense of being glued to the bottom of the tub when the water is gone. That is the feeling of gravity grounding!
Your ability to walk through the world grounded and aware will assist you in accessing the wisdom of using your intuition as good medicine.
About the Author:
Francesca McCartney, Ph.D., is the founder of the Academy of Intuition Medicine. Each year she trains students to use her techniques in their work as health care providers, massage therapists, and counselors. She has been practicing and developing her intuitive skills for more than 30 years. The Academy offers a Master's Degree in Intuition Medicine and is certified by the California Board of Registered Nurses to grant continuing education units. Dr. McCartney has frequently been asked to speak to organizations of professional health care providers and is widely published in professional journals on the topic of Intuition Medicine. She
lives in Marin County, CA.
---------------------------------------------------
– By Francesca McCartney, Ph.D.
The Intuition Medicine® practice of grounding is a connection with the earth that provides health benefits. Grounding is a frëe, natural inducer of emotional and physical health. Grounding helps you settle into yourself and create a calm mood when you are overwhelmed by people, activity, or your surroundings. Before you enter a potentially stressful situation, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and visualize your body as a redwood tree rooting you into the earth. Continue to imagine the roots settling you into the earth until you feel relaxed and your mind begins to clear. Use this intuitive grounding imagery to feel at home within yourself wherever you are.
The term grounding has different meanings in different fields. In electrical terms, a grounding circuit serves as a release valve for excess electricity. The surge protector your computer is plugged into uses such a grounding circuit; if there is a sudden burst of energy that exceeds the capacity of the computer, the surge protector directs the excess energy into the grounding circuit and down into the earth, where the energy is neutralized or grounded. In physics, gravity is the force that attracts bodies or particles of matter toward each other. Technology uses a
comparative system, earthing, that relates to the live parts in electronic systems that have one or more direct connections to earth.
A strong intuitive grounding connection also provides a stable base from which to operate in the world. It creates a feeling of safety, centered awareness, clarity, and self-assurance. For most people, this grounding connection is inconsistent. Some activities tend to enhance the strength of their grounding, and others tend to weaken it. What does grounding mean to you? How do you know when you are grounded? Are you grounded right nöw? The first step in learning to ground more consistently is to recognize the times when you are ungrounded in your life.
Think about the items on the lists below and use your own intuition to assess which ones apply to you.
How it feels to be...
Grounded...
Peaceful
Physically coordinated
Confident, calm and in control
Mental clarity
Feel aware of self and body
Ungrounded…
Anxious, Unsure, Uneasy
Bumping into things, stubbing toes, etc.
Nervous and not in control
Spacey, overwhelmed, confused
Cold feet and legs, poor circulation
Gravity Grounding
In our quest for grounding, we have a silent, invisible, yet powerful ally: the force of gravity. We feel it all the time; it keeps our feet planted on the earth. It is a force we are often unaware of. My medical dictionary defines gravitation as the force of attraction by which terrestrial bodies tend to fall toward the center of the earth.
Imagine lying on a sunny beach and feeling the warmth of the sand. Imagine those feelings and visualize dropping all resistance from your body into the earth. Do you feel heavier, denser, and more relaxed, with an overall sensation of being pulled down to the earth? You are experiencing the pull of gravity. The constancy of nature gives us gravity as a powerful, healing force - a force that brings us back to our own center. Indeed, without gravity we would be floating off the ground! Working with the force of gravity helps you experience and strengthen your personal grounding connection.
Ground Your Life
Energy follows thought, affirmation, intention, and visualization. If you think, affirm, intend, and visualize that you are grounded, then your energy will be grounded. Visualization is an extremely powerful way to enhance your grounding. You may already have techniques that help you feel your grounding connection with the earth, or you may be looking for new ways to experience it. Be creative; experiment with changing your grounding imagery at different times of day. Use specific visualizations that center you during exercise, public speaking, writing – whenever you want to be grounded. Herë are some images to play with in your grounding practice:
-- A ship's anchor
-- Beams of light
-- An electrical cord plugged into a socket at the center of the earth
-- A waterfall
-- Two connecting magnets (you are one, the earth is the other)
Try This!
You can experience the power of gravity grounding in the bäthtub. Next time you take a bäth do not get out of the tub when you pull the plug. Instead, lie there as the water drains out. You will be treated to a very tactile sense of gravity's power. Human bodies are naturally buoyant, so water reduces the effect gravity has on us. If you have been soaking in water for at least twenty minutes, you will have a sense of being glued to the bottom of the tub when the water is gone. That is the feeling of gravity grounding!
Your ability to walk through the world grounded and aware will assist you in accessing the wisdom of using your intuition as good medicine.
About the Author:
Francesca McCartney, Ph.D., is the founder of the Academy of Intuition Medicine. Each year she trains students to use her techniques in their work as health care providers, massage therapists, and counselors. She has been practicing and developing her intuitive skills for more than 30 years. The Academy offers a Master's Degree in Intuition Medicine and is certified by the California Board of Registered Nurses to grant continuing education units. Dr. McCartney has frequently been asked to speak to organizations of professional health care providers and is widely published in professional journals on the topic of Intuition Medicine. She
lives in Marin County, CA.
EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE TO A WILLING HEART
-----------------------------------------------------
You can do anything in this world you want to do, but you must want to do it badly enough. You really can have everything you want, if you go after it. You have to want it.
The first ingredient of success is desire. Do you know what you want? Your desire is the planting of your seed.
Your desire for success must be so strong within you that it's the very breath of your life. It must be your first thought when you wake in the morning, and your last thought when you go to bed at night.
You can be whatever you make up your mind to be. What's in your mind and heart is all that counts.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You can do anything in this world you want to do, but you must want to do it badly enough. You really can have everything you want, if you go after it. You have to want it.
The first ingredient of success is desire. Do you know what you want? Your desire is the planting of your seed.
Your desire for success must be so strong within you that it's the very breath of your life. It must be your first thought when you wake in the morning, and your last thought when you go to bed at night.
You can be whatever you make up your mind to be. What's in your mind and heart is all that counts.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, July 22, 2005
Making History Every Day
-------------------------------------------------------
Your Personal Legacy
When we focus on people who make a huge historical impact-presidents, visionary artists, great spiritual leaders-we sometimes forget that we, too, are making history and influencing the future with the way we live our lives.
This is obvious if we just look at our own parents and how the way they lived affected us. In the best case, we received lessons from them or other mentors that have empowered us. On the other hand, we may have decided to depart dramatically from the way they conducted their lives. If so, then their mistakes and shortcomings were catalysts for us to change old familial patterns. Either way, their way of being determined the course of our future. By the same token, our actions determine the course of the future for others, and those who follow us will remember us as part of their history.
In light of this, it is good to ask ourselves what our legacy will be. We have all heard stories about family members we may or may not have known; sometimes it is their humor that shines through in others' memories, or their contagious positive energy, or their skill in managing the family assets. People outside our immediate family may have changed the course of our lives as well-a teacher who encouraged and inspired us; a neighbor who helped us in a time of need; or even a stranger who came to our aid in a difficult situation. When we remember these people, we realize that however small our daily lives seem, they are actually very important. How we treat people in each moment, with each interaction, can have a major impact.
It helps to begin our days with an acknowledgement of this fact, taking a moment to consider how we want to be in the world and how powerful we really are. We must remember that our lives are not meaningless--quite the opposite. Every day we have an opportunity to "make history" and influence the future for the better.
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Your Personal Legacy
When we focus on people who make a huge historical impact-presidents, visionary artists, great spiritual leaders-we sometimes forget that we, too, are making history and influencing the future with the way we live our lives.
This is obvious if we just look at our own parents and how the way they lived affected us. In the best case, we received lessons from them or other mentors that have empowered us. On the other hand, we may have decided to depart dramatically from the way they conducted their lives. If so, then their mistakes and shortcomings were catalysts for us to change old familial patterns. Either way, their way of being determined the course of our future. By the same token, our actions determine the course of the future for others, and those who follow us will remember us as part of their history.
In light of this, it is good to ask ourselves what our legacy will be. We have all heard stories about family members we may or may not have known; sometimes it is their humor that shines through in others' memories, or their contagious positive energy, or their skill in managing the family assets. People outside our immediate family may have changed the course of our lives as well-a teacher who encouraged and inspired us; a neighbor who helped us in a time of need; or even a stranger who came to our aid in a difficult situation. When we remember these people, we realize that however small our daily lives seem, they are actually very important. How we treat people in each moment, with each interaction, can have a major impact.
It helps to begin our days with an acknowledgement of this fact, taking a moment to consider how we want to be in the world and how powerful we really are. We must remember that our lives are not meaningless--quite the opposite. Every day we have an opportunity to "make history" and influence the future for the better.
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Thinking Positively
--------------------------------------------------------
- by Norman Vincent Peale
If you want to get somewhere, you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up.
The secret of life isn't what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.
Help other people to cope with their problems and your own will be easier to cope with.
Never use the word impossible seriously again. Toss it into the verbal wastebasket.
Self-trust is the first secret of success. So believe in and trust yourself.
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.
Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible.
How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself - so always think positively.
- Norman Vincent Peale
- by Norman Vincent Peale
If you want to get somewhere, you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up.
The secret of life isn't what happens to you, but what you do with what happens to you.
Help other people to cope with their problems and your own will be easier to cope with.
Never use the word impossible seriously again. Toss it into the verbal wastebasket.
Self-trust is the first secret of success. So believe in and trust yourself.
Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have.
Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible.
How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself - so always think positively.
- Norman Vincent Peale
LOVE WHAT YOU DO, OR DO SOMETHING ELSE
--------------------------------------------------------
When your vocation becomes your vacation, you'll never work another day in your life.
No one can succeed in any endeavor that they don't like. If you don't love what you're doing, then don't do it.
Your chances of success are directly proportional to the degree of pleasure you derive from what you do.
Do something that you have a deep personal interest in. Do something you'd enjoy spending twelve to fifteen hours a day working at, and the rest of the time thinking about.
Don't set compensation as your goal. Find work you like and the compensation will follow.
Work is not your punishment. It's your reward, your strength and your pleasure.
Real success is achieved when you like what you do. Work is love made visible.
©2005 by Max Steingart
When your vocation becomes your vacation, you'll never work another day in your life.
No one can succeed in any endeavor that they don't like. If you don't love what you're doing, then don't do it.
Your chances of success are directly proportional to the degree of pleasure you derive from what you do.
Do something that you have a deep personal interest in. Do something you'd enjoy spending twelve to fifteen hours a day working at, and the rest of the time thinking about.
Don't set compensation as your goal. Find work you like and the compensation will follow.
Work is not your punishment. It's your reward, your strength and your pleasure.
Real success is achieved when you like what you do. Work is love made visible.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Goddess Of Infinite Compassion
-------------------------------------------------------
Kwan Yin
Long ago, according to legend, Kwan Yin earned the right to enter Nirvana after her death. But when she stood before the gates of paradise, she heard the anguished voices of those left on earth and, turning away from bliss, vowed to remain in the world, gently leading others until all living things reached enlightenment. Kwan Yin, a bodhisattva, became the goddess of compassion, or 'she who hears the cries of the world,' and her message spread beyond the Chinese Buddhist community. Today she is known by many names in many countries. Because of her popularity, she is depicted in hundreds of ways. Most often shown as a slim and graceful barefoot woman dressed in flowing white robes, she is the embodiment of empathy, unconditional love, and perfect compassion. Sometimes she transforms herself - into a child, a man, or even a king - to better guide and teach the path to Nirvana.
Kwan Yin's goal is to liberate all beings from suffering, no matter who or what they are, and thus building a relationship with her involves little. There is no required ritual or dogma. Rather, her devotees strive to emulate her compassion and caring in their own lives by attempting to adhere to the standards of the goddess and by serving others. Kwan Yin's unselfish devotion to all living beings is key. She is free from pride and vengefulness, and passes no judgment. She is reluctant grants great comfort to the lost, the sick, the senile, the troubled, and the unfortunate. In the tales surrounding Kwan Yin, the dejected need only cry out to her for help to be freed from fear and danger.
Embracing the way of Kwan Yin is as easy as cultivating her virtues, which are said to exist deep within all beings, in your own life. You may want to meditate on her sacrifice and ask yourself what selfless actions you could take to better the world. She provides us with an example of how to better relate to the world and each other, asking us simply to treat all living things as we ourselves would be treated.
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Kwan Yin
Long ago, according to legend, Kwan Yin earned the right to enter Nirvana after her death. But when she stood before the gates of paradise, she heard the anguished voices of those left on earth and, turning away from bliss, vowed to remain in the world, gently leading others until all living things reached enlightenment. Kwan Yin, a bodhisattva, became the goddess of compassion, or 'she who hears the cries of the world,' and her message spread beyond the Chinese Buddhist community. Today she is known by many names in many countries. Because of her popularity, she is depicted in hundreds of ways. Most often shown as a slim and graceful barefoot woman dressed in flowing white robes, she is the embodiment of empathy, unconditional love, and perfect compassion. Sometimes she transforms herself - into a child, a man, or even a king - to better guide and teach the path to Nirvana.
Kwan Yin's goal is to liberate all beings from suffering, no matter who or what they are, and thus building a relationship with her involves little. There is no required ritual or dogma. Rather, her devotees strive to emulate her compassion and caring in their own lives by attempting to adhere to the standards of the goddess and by serving others. Kwan Yin's unselfish devotion to all living beings is key. She is free from pride and vengefulness, and passes no judgment. She is reluctant grants great comfort to the lost, the sick, the senile, the troubled, and the unfortunate. In the tales surrounding Kwan Yin, the dejected need only cry out to her for help to be freed from fear and danger.
Embracing the way of Kwan Yin is as easy as cultivating her virtues, which are said to exist deep within all beings, in your own life. You may want to meditate on her sacrifice and ask yourself what selfless actions you could take to better the world. She provides us with an example of how to better relate to the world and each other, asking us simply to treat all living things as we ourselves would be treated.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Three Principles For Great Success
----------------------------------------------------
- by Brian Tracy
Get Better Results Than Ever Before
There are several principles of military strategy that you can apply to your business, every single day. These can help you to think better and get better results than ever before.
Do The Unexpected
One really helpful military principle that can be applied to business is the Principle of Surprise. The principle of surprise says, “do the unexpected!” In sales and marketing, this means to be continually seeking ways to out-flank or upset your competition.
Do The Opposite of Before
Sometimes doing exactly the opposite of what you have been doing up till now can turn out to be the perfect solution. The natural tendency for a person, when they find themselves in a hole, is to dig deeper. In many cases, the solution is to go and dig somewhere else. Remember, the first law of holes is, “When you find yourself in one, stop digging.”
Follow-up and Follow-Through
A second military principle that applies to business is the Principle of Exploitation. The principle of exploitation emphasizes the importance of follow-up and follow-through. In business, this means that, when you get an opportunity, you exploit it to the fullest extent possible. If you have a great promotional idea or product or service, you sell all you can. You take advantage of your idea or breakthrough and use every opportunity to capitalize on it.
Work Harmoniously With Others
The third principle of military strategy that applies to personal and corporate thinking is the Principle of Cooperation. In business, this is often called the principle of synergy. In military terms, this is often called the principle of “concerted action.” In business terms, your ability to work effectively and harmoniously with other individuals and groups is more responsible for your success than any other quality.
Win the Cooperation of Key People
A key part of strategic thinking is for you to identify the individuals, groups and organizations whose cooperation you will require to achieve your goals. Make a list of them and then organize the list in order of importance. Then ask yourself, “How am I going to win their cooperation?”
Answer Everyone's Favorite Question
Everybody wants to know, “what’s in it for me?” The effective executive is always looking for ways to help or assist others knowing that this is the only sure way to create within them a desire to help you to achieve your goals.
By doing the unexpected, by following up and following through, and by constantly looking for ways to get other people to cooperate with you, you will accomplish more in a shorter time than you might ever have imagined.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to apply these ideas in your business and in your work:
First, look at your job, especially the areas where you are experiencing frustration, and question whether or not there is a completely different way of approaching your problem or situation. Do the unexpected. Perhaps you should be doing exactly the opposite of what you are doing today. All success in business comes from surprising the competition in some way.
Second, identify the people, groups and organizations whose assistance you will need to achieve your goal. Continually look for ways to earn their support and cooperation by thinking in terms of what is in it for them.
- Brian Tracy
- by Brian Tracy
Get Better Results Than Ever Before
There are several principles of military strategy that you can apply to your business, every single day. These can help you to think better and get better results than ever before.
Do The Unexpected
One really helpful military principle that can be applied to business is the Principle of Surprise. The principle of surprise says, “do the unexpected!” In sales and marketing, this means to be continually seeking ways to out-flank or upset your competition.
Do The Opposite of Before
Sometimes doing exactly the opposite of what you have been doing up till now can turn out to be the perfect solution. The natural tendency for a person, when they find themselves in a hole, is to dig deeper. In many cases, the solution is to go and dig somewhere else. Remember, the first law of holes is, “When you find yourself in one, stop digging.”
Follow-up and Follow-Through
A second military principle that applies to business is the Principle of Exploitation. The principle of exploitation emphasizes the importance of follow-up and follow-through. In business, this means that, when you get an opportunity, you exploit it to the fullest extent possible. If you have a great promotional idea or product or service, you sell all you can. You take advantage of your idea or breakthrough and use every opportunity to capitalize on it.
Work Harmoniously With Others
The third principle of military strategy that applies to personal and corporate thinking is the Principle of Cooperation. In business, this is often called the principle of synergy. In military terms, this is often called the principle of “concerted action.” In business terms, your ability to work effectively and harmoniously with other individuals and groups is more responsible for your success than any other quality.
Win the Cooperation of Key People
A key part of strategic thinking is for you to identify the individuals, groups and organizations whose cooperation you will require to achieve your goals. Make a list of them and then organize the list in order of importance. Then ask yourself, “How am I going to win their cooperation?”
Answer Everyone's Favorite Question
Everybody wants to know, “what’s in it for me?” The effective executive is always looking for ways to help or assist others knowing that this is the only sure way to create within them a desire to help you to achieve your goals.
By doing the unexpected, by following up and following through, and by constantly looking for ways to get other people to cooperate with you, you will accomplish more in a shorter time than you might ever have imagined.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to apply these ideas in your business and in your work:
First, look at your job, especially the areas where you are experiencing frustration, and question whether or not there is a completely different way of approaching your problem or situation. Do the unexpected. Perhaps you should be doing exactly the opposite of what you are doing today. All success in business comes from surprising the competition in some way.
Second, identify the people, groups and organizations whose assistance you will need to achieve your goal. Continually look for ways to earn their support and cooperation by thinking in terms of what is in it for them.
- Brian Tracy
GOALS ARE ATTAINED ONE STEP AT A TIME
-------------------------------------------------
There is no sudden leap to greatness. Your success lies in doing, day by day. Your upward reach comes from working well and carefully.
Good work done little by little becomes great work. Your house of success will be built brick by brick.
A bottle fills drop by drop. Adopt the pace of nature. The secret is patience.
©2005 by Max Steingart
There is no sudden leap to greatness. Your success lies in doing, day by day. Your upward reach comes from working well and carefully.
Good work done little by little becomes great work. Your house of success will be built brick by brick.
A bottle fills drop by drop. Adopt the pace of nature. The secret is patience.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Honoring Life Changes
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Blessing Way
A Mother Blessing is a ritual adapted from the traditional Navajo ceremony known as a Blessing Way. Mother Blessings fill a gap in western celebrations surrounding birth. Whereas a baby shower celebrates the coming of the child, a Mother Blessing celebrates the woman's passage into motherhood. Friends-generally all women, but not always-gather to give their support to the mother as she approaches one of the most intense experiences of her life. A Father Blessing is also a wonderful idea especially during a time when fathers can be feeling a little left out.
A Blessing Way ceremony can be given in honor of anyone going through a major life transition. From graduating high school to turning 50, significant life changes deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated. Many of our traditional ways of recognizing these transitions have become hollow, often dominated by consumerism. A Blessing Way is less about giving gifts and more about communicating from the heart, offering words of encouragement and inspiration to buoy the guest of honor in the face of major change.
Often at Mother Blessings, each participant brings a bead to give to the mother, and a necklace or bracelet is made for her. Each person presents their bead to the mother and says something of what they wish for her journey-strength, courage, or a sense of humor, for example. They can also give their bead in honor of a quality she already has that they believe will make her a good mother. This way she leaves the ritual with a magical talisman imbued with the loving energy of her community. She can carry this into labor or hang it over her baby's crib as a reminder of the strength she carries within and the love surrounding her. The same idea can be adapted to fit Blessing Ways in honor of retirement, a new job, a major move, or even a divorce.
If someone you know is approaching a momentous rite of passage, organize a Blessing Way in their honor. Or, if you need one, ask for one. It could become a beautiful new tradition in your community of friends and family.
What do you think?
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Blessing Way
A Mother Blessing is a ritual adapted from the traditional Navajo ceremony known as a Blessing Way. Mother Blessings fill a gap in western celebrations surrounding birth. Whereas a baby shower celebrates the coming of the child, a Mother Blessing celebrates the woman's passage into motherhood. Friends-generally all women, but not always-gather to give their support to the mother as she approaches one of the most intense experiences of her life. A Father Blessing is also a wonderful idea especially during a time when fathers can be feeling a little left out.
A Blessing Way ceremony can be given in honor of anyone going through a major life transition. From graduating high school to turning 50, significant life changes deserve to be acknowledged and celebrated. Many of our traditional ways of recognizing these transitions have become hollow, often dominated by consumerism. A Blessing Way is less about giving gifts and more about communicating from the heart, offering words of encouragement and inspiration to buoy the guest of honor in the face of major change.
Often at Mother Blessings, each participant brings a bead to give to the mother, and a necklace or bracelet is made for her. Each person presents their bead to the mother and says something of what they wish for her journey-strength, courage, or a sense of humor, for example. They can also give their bead in honor of a quality she already has that they believe will make her a good mother. This way she leaves the ritual with a magical talisman imbued with the loving energy of her community. She can carry this into labor or hang it over her baby's crib as a reminder of the strength she carries within and the love surrounding her. The same idea can be adapted to fit Blessing Ways in honor of retirement, a new job, a major move, or even a divorce.
If someone you know is approaching a momentous rite of passage, organize a Blessing Way in their honor. Or, if you need one, ask for one. It could become a beautiful new tradition in your community of friends and family.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
Want more DailyOM?
Animal Crackers
----------------------------------------------------
– By Betsy Otter Thompson
When I was a child, a Nabisco product called Animal Crackers got my attention quickly. I loved how the crackers tasted, felt, and looked, and I loved the package they came in. Each box was a gift itself whether full of crackers or not. The characteristics of each different animal stirred my imagination. When I reached for one, I nevër knew the creative image I'd face: elephant, tiger, or kangaroo. I even considered their habitats, and how they might be different. I didn't care if the cookies were broken or chipped; I was hooked on the total package.
Have we forgotten how diverse and appealing we are in the human species as well? We delight in the fish, the birds, and the beasts in their wonderful uniqueness, so why can't we do the same for ourselves? Aren't we unique in our colors, shapes, and sounds, too? And don't we have individual habitats that suit our growth while herë?
No one says to the elephant, why aren't you more like a possum? No one says to the rhinoceros, why don't you sound like a bird? No one says to the groundhog, why can't you run like a horse?
We all have hearts that beat and bodies that function, with a brain that reacts to stimuli. When the animal is attacked, it does what it can to survive. Why are we surprised when humans do the same? Animals follow their instincts but so do we. Don't we have the right to be ourselves in whatever color, shape, or habitat we prefer?
The world is shrinking. Intercontinental communications, a transportation system to anywhere, and a growing population with no end in sight make isolation impossible. How are we to live harmoniously without acceptance? Are we headed in that direction? Yes and no. Yes, because more people are working for peace. And no, because so many have forgotten where it sources.
It won't come from highlighting negative differences. It won't come from making someone right and another wrong. It won't come from making someone good and another bad. It won't come from shifting the blame to anyone else. Peace cannot be lived in the big picture until it is lived in the small picture. And the small picture is each individual heart.
Are you living at peace with the people around you? Are you taking responsibility and leaving blame behind? Are you ignoring labels of good and bad and finding goodness in all? Are you tolerant of other beliefs and customs, even though they are different from yours?
The goal is not to have the right religion, the right beliefs or the right nationality. The goal is to love the ones we have and find the offering they bring us. Until we do, we won't have a mirror of that on a largër scale.
The animal kingdom works perfectly when left alone to evolve. Yes, there is death in the jungle, but there is also order. There is acceptance and cooperation, at least until man interrupts that balance. And as we interrupt that balance, we interrupt our own.
The animal comes herë with a package that suits its purpose while herë. And isn't that we do, too. Don't we have the talent, heart, and intelligence for what we feel is important?
All the choices around us were made for the same reason: to broaden the heart's capacity to love. Yes, choices are different, but why does that matter if they work? Would we rather live a world full of clones where blandness caused such stagnancy that fighting became our only stimulation, or would we rather live in a world of individuality where peace is found through appreciation, tolerance, and cooperation?
Healing begins with each of us; not with this or that leader. Leaders only reflect the acting out of the masses. When we love and accept each other for exactly who we are, the leaders will mirror our oneness.
About the Author:
Betsy Thompson is the author of “The Mirror Theory: The Way to Inner Peace, Resolution, and Transformation.” According to “The Mirror Theory,” everyone we encounter is an emotional mirror of what we express. Betsy Thompson's newest book (ONLY $10.17 on Amazon.com) is creating quite a stir with this new mind-bending concept. She shows you the way to inner peace and spiritual transformation. Also, for July 19th, Betsy Thompson has wrapped up a special bundle for you. She's made it available for one day - today! http://www.betsythompson.com/specialoffer
– By Betsy Otter Thompson
When I was a child, a Nabisco product called Animal Crackers got my attention quickly. I loved how the crackers tasted, felt, and looked, and I loved the package they came in. Each box was a gift itself whether full of crackers or not. The characteristics of each different animal stirred my imagination. When I reached for one, I nevër knew the creative image I'd face: elephant, tiger, or kangaroo. I even considered their habitats, and how they might be different. I didn't care if the cookies were broken or chipped; I was hooked on the total package.
Have we forgotten how diverse and appealing we are in the human species as well? We delight in the fish, the birds, and the beasts in their wonderful uniqueness, so why can't we do the same for ourselves? Aren't we unique in our colors, shapes, and sounds, too? And don't we have individual habitats that suit our growth while herë?
No one says to the elephant, why aren't you more like a possum? No one says to the rhinoceros, why don't you sound like a bird? No one says to the groundhog, why can't you run like a horse?
We all have hearts that beat and bodies that function, with a brain that reacts to stimuli. When the animal is attacked, it does what it can to survive. Why are we surprised when humans do the same? Animals follow their instincts but so do we. Don't we have the right to be ourselves in whatever color, shape, or habitat we prefer?
The world is shrinking. Intercontinental communications, a transportation system to anywhere, and a growing population with no end in sight make isolation impossible. How are we to live harmoniously without acceptance? Are we headed in that direction? Yes and no. Yes, because more people are working for peace. And no, because so many have forgotten where it sources.
It won't come from highlighting negative differences. It won't come from making someone right and another wrong. It won't come from making someone good and another bad. It won't come from shifting the blame to anyone else. Peace cannot be lived in the big picture until it is lived in the small picture. And the small picture is each individual heart.
Are you living at peace with the people around you? Are you taking responsibility and leaving blame behind? Are you ignoring labels of good and bad and finding goodness in all? Are you tolerant of other beliefs and customs, even though they are different from yours?
The goal is not to have the right religion, the right beliefs or the right nationality. The goal is to love the ones we have and find the offering they bring us. Until we do, we won't have a mirror of that on a largër scale.
The animal kingdom works perfectly when left alone to evolve. Yes, there is death in the jungle, but there is also order. There is acceptance and cooperation, at least until man interrupts that balance. And as we interrupt that balance, we interrupt our own.
The animal comes herë with a package that suits its purpose while herë. And isn't that we do, too. Don't we have the talent, heart, and intelligence for what we feel is important?
All the choices around us were made for the same reason: to broaden the heart's capacity to love. Yes, choices are different, but why does that matter if they work? Would we rather live a world full of clones where blandness caused such stagnancy that fighting became our only stimulation, or would we rather live in a world of individuality where peace is found through appreciation, tolerance, and cooperation?
Healing begins with each of us; not with this or that leader. Leaders only reflect the acting out of the masses. When we love and accept each other for exactly who we are, the leaders will mirror our oneness.
About the Author:
Betsy Thompson is the author of “The Mirror Theory: The Way to Inner Peace, Resolution, and Transformation.” According to “The Mirror Theory,” everyone we encounter is an emotional mirror of what we express. Betsy Thompson's newest book (ONLY $10.17 on Amazon.com) is creating quite a stir with this new mind-bending concept. She shows you the way to inner peace and spiritual transformation. Also, for July 19th, Betsy Thompson has wrapped up a special bundle for you. She's made it available for one day - today! http://www.betsythompson.com/specialoffer
WANTING TO WIN IS EVERYTHING
--------------------------------------------------
Success is connected with continuous action. It's largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
You're not finished when you're defeated, you're only finished when you quit. In fact, there's only one way you can fail, and that's to stop trying.
Continuous effort, persistence and determination will be necessary for you to succeed. The odds are in your favor if you keep trying.
You can have a fresh start any time you choose, for "failure" is not in the falling down, but in the staying down. It's not over until it's over.
If you've got the courage to stick it out, you'll attain your goal.
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to is.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.
Success is connected with continuous action. It's largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
You're not finished when you're defeated, you're only finished when you quit. In fact, there's only one way you can fail, and that's to stop trying.
Continuous effort, persistence and determination will be necessary for you to succeed. The odds are in your favor if you keep trying.
You can have a fresh start any time you choose, for "failure" is not in the falling down, but in the staying down. It's not over until it's over.
If you've got the courage to stick it out, you'll attain your goal.
Winning isn't everything, but wanting to is.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Giving Weight To A Choice
-------------------------------------------------------
Creating A Pro And Con List
Each person possesses the power to choose the path of their thoughts and actions. The ability to make wise and fulfilling decisions, however, is a skill that is learned over time. One way to hone your decision-making skills is through the use of an honest pro and con list. It may at first seem like a flippant way to address major life-altering decisions, but the creation of a list weighing the advantages and disadvantages of a choice can help you avoid focusing on the potential benefits or drawbacks of an option without addressing all the variables. A pro and con (or 'for and against') list represents a concrete way of looking at a problem. It can help you view a set of choices more clearly, giving you a chance to analyze each variable in an objective and detached way, while providing a sense of the most attractive outcome.
Creating a pro and con list is simple. Put the choice you must make into words and be sure you have examined as many of the ramifications of that choice as possible. Write the choice at the top of a sheet of paper, then write two headers, pro and con, beneath it, drawing a line down the middle between them. Some decisions have many aspects and may require you to make multiple choices and thus multiple pro and con lists. Others will simply involve moving forward or not, or changing or not, and will require only one list. Examine each potential outcome relating to the choice at hand. When you have reviewed each outcome, tally up the two columns and compare the pros and the cons. If you were objective, the results may surprise you.
By looking at a decision in terms of the positive and negative results that will or may occur, you can distance yourself from it. That distance creates a perspective in which the problem at hand is an issue that needs to be resolved, rather than a decision that will have an impact on the person you are. But the list is a tool and needn't have the final say in a decision. Rather, it can be a helpful and beneficial stepping stone in the decision-making process.
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Creating A Pro And Con List
Each person possesses the power to choose the path of their thoughts and actions. The ability to make wise and fulfilling decisions, however, is a skill that is learned over time. One way to hone your decision-making skills is through the use of an honest pro and con list. It may at first seem like a flippant way to address major life-altering decisions, but the creation of a list weighing the advantages and disadvantages of a choice can help you avoid focusing on the potential benefits or drawbacks of an option without addressing all the variables. A pro and con (or 'for and against') list represents a concrete way of looking at a problem. It can help you view a set of choices more clearly, giving you a chance to analyze each variable in an objective and detached way, while providing a sense of the most attractive outcome.
Creating a pro and con list is simple. Put the choice you must make into words and be sure you have examined as many of the ramifications of that choice as possible. Write the choice at the top of a sheet of paper, then write two headers, pro and con, beneath it, drawing a line down the middle between them. Some decisions have many aspects and may require you to make multiple choices and thus multiple pro and con lists. Others will simply involve moving forward or not, or changing or not, and will require only one list. Examine each potential outcome relating to the choice at hand. When you have reviewed each outcome, tally up the two columns and compare the pros and the cons. If you were objective, the results may surprise you.
By looking at a decision in terms of the positive and negative results that will or may occur, you can distance yourself from it. That distance creates a perspective in which the problem at hand is an issue that needs to be resolved, rather than a decision that will have an impact on the person you are. But the list is a tool and needn't have the final say in a decision. Rather, it can be a helpful and beneficial stepping stone in the decision-making process.
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The Top 10 Principles To Live By For Success
----------------------------------------------------
– By Marti Eicholz
People are not born successful. They work hard and are extremely focused and persistent. Successful people take hedged risks and solve their problems creatively. Some of the characteristics that most successful people have in common are:
-- Intelligence. Most great people are intelligent--but not in every subject. They simply have well-develop intelligence in the areas or fields they have chosen to pursue.
-- Practice. Almost all-great people have spent many years practicing their particular talents. Mistakes must be made, new solutions discovered, and difficult situations endured.
-- Leadership. Many successful people have a tremendous amount of hands-on experience dealing with people or structuring an organization.
-- Energy. They're very active and involved in their particular work. Their high activity levels spring partly from tremendous enthusiasm and excitement for the things they are doing.
-- Emotional Stability. Some theories have asserted that a person's "emotional quotient" is a greater factor in the person's success than his or her intelligence quotient is.
-- Concentration. Their work really excites them--so much so that they become unaware of everything else.
-- Determination. They develop senses of destiny. They believe that they have major purposes. They can't imagine themselves failing. When they suffer setbacks, they view them as part of the learning process on the road to greatness.
-- Survival Skills. Many have suffered traumatic experiences early in life such as sickness, loneliness, or poverty. Such experiences helped them develop their robustness and persistence. People who can't cope with failure are not likely to succeed.
-- Willingness to take risks. They don't care what people think, or whether their work or ideas may embarrass them in front of others.
-- Letting experience teach them. They learn from life's experiences by making a conscious effort to do so. Many people get caught up in what or who is right or wrong instead of looking at the lesson that can be learned from the experience. And life is full of lessons. From the time we come out of the womb to the day we die, we are learning what life has to offer us, lesson after lesson. The key is to take the experiences-those everyday occurrences in life-and use them to change and grow. That's what life is all really-change. The only real constant in this life is that things and people change. Inspired by experience, change is all around.
We can all benefit by watching successful people. But the knowledge that each of us has the potential to be successful should be foremost in our minds as we proceed in life. Each of us has a unique ability or talent that can be developed. Believe in yourself and know yourself. These two qualities serve as a foundation for the other characteristics great people exhibit.
About the Author:
Marti Eicholz, Ph.D. is founder of the Institute for Transformation in Kirkland, Washington. She is also a national speaker, radio personality and the author of five books, including “Personal Relationships: The Art of Living Together.”
– By Marti Eicholz
People are not born successful. They work hard and are extremely focused and persistent. Successful people take hedged risks and solve their problems creatively. Some of the characteristics that most successful people have in common are:
-- Intelligence. Most great people are intelligent--but not in every subject. They simply have well-develop intelligence in the areas or fields they have chosen to pursue.
-- Practice. Almost all-great people have spent many years practicing their particular talents. Mistakes must be made, new solutions discovered, and difficult situations endured.
-- Leadership. Many successful people have a tremendous amount of hands-on experience dealing with people or structuring an organization.
-- Energy. They're very active and involved in their particular work. Their high activity levels spring partly from tremendous enthusiasm and excitement for the things they are doing.
-- Emotional Stability. Some theories have asserted that a person's "emotional quotient" is a greater factor in the person's success than his or her intelligence quotient is.
-- Concentration. Their work really excites them--so much so that they become unaware of everything else.
-- Determination. They develop senses of destiny. They believe that they have major purposes. They can't imagine themselves failing. When they suffer setbacks, they view them as part of the learning process on the road to greatness.
-- Survival Skills. Many have suffered traumatic experiences early in life such as sickness, loneliness, or poverty. Such experiences helped them develop their robustness and persistence. People who can't cope with failure are not likely to succeed.
-- Willingness to take risks. They don't care what people think, or whether their work or ideas may embarrass them in front of others.
-- Letting experience teach them. They learn from life's experiences by making a conscious effort to do so. Many people get caught up in what or who is right or wrong instead of looking at the lesson that can be learned from the experience. And life is full of lessons. From the time we come out of the womb to the day we die, we are learning what life has to offer us, lesson after lesson. The key is to take the experiences-those everyday occurrences in life-and use them to change and grow. That's what life is all really-change. The only real constant in this life is that things and people change. Inspired by experience, change is all around.
We can all benefit by watching successful people. But the knowledge that each of us has the potential to be successful should be foremost in our minds as we proceed in life. Each of us has a unique ability or talent that can be developed. Believe in yourself and know yourself. These two qualities serve as a foundation for the other characteristics great people exhibit.
About the Author:
Marti Eicholz, Ph.D. is founder of the Institute for Transformation in Kirkland, Washington. She is also a national speaker, radio personality and the author of five books, including “Personal Relationships: The Art of Living Together.”
YOUR MIND SETS YOUR LIMITS
YOUR MIND SETS YOUR LIMITS
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What you believe yourself to be, you are. What you believe you can be in the future, you can become.
If you believe that you can do something, you can do it. You must believe in it one hundred percent.
Your self image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of your goals. It prescribes the "area of the possible" for you.
If you want to be successful, start thinking of yourself as successful. The feelings must come first from within you.
Self esteem is the strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness. Believe you can do it. Believe you deserve it. Believe you will get it.
It's all in your mind. What you see is what you get.
©2005 by Max Steingart
------------------------------------------------
What you believe yourself to be, you are. What you believe you can be in the future, you can become.
If you believe that you can do something, you can do it. You must believe in it one hundred percent.
Your self image prescribes the limits for the accomplishment of your goals. It prescribes the "area of the possible" for you.
If you want to be successful, start thinking of yourself as successful. The feelings must come first from within you.
Self esteem is the strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness. Believe you can do it. Believe you deserve it. Believe you will get it.
It's all in your mind. What you see is what you get.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Monday, July 18, 2005
Putting Yourself First
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Meeting Your Own Needs
In life, we are encouraged to think of others first. It is seen as a virtue to selflessly address the needs of parents, children, friends, and loved ones, before or sometimes at the cost of our own needs. But this virtue, like any, is best and most meaningful in moderation. Overly caring for others can easily be an unconscious cry for love or a crutch. Devoting all of your time to others can stand in the way of you caring for yourself. Taking care of yourself can feel selfish while taking care of others can seem easier than dealing with your own issues. But addressing your own needs first in some cases is beneficial and vital not only to your own health and well-being, but to your ability to care for others when needed.
We often find ourselves faced with too many responsibilities and those most readily given up are often those most important to us. Ask yourself why. Do you feel the need to prove yourself by being selfless or hope your sacrifice will be acknowledged? Do you feel selfish for wanting things for yourself? Or is it simply more stressful to contemplate your own needs, because they are the ones requiring the most personal effort on your part? Selfless dedication can be frustrating when we don't find the appreciation or love we desire, which ironically leads to putting more effort into others. But when you care for yourself, you affirm your own worth and boundaries. Don't be afraid to put yourself first now and then. Listen to your inner voice and be fair to yourself as well as to others. Have the courage to face your needs and issues head on without putting them off by helping someone else with theirs.
Avoiding caring for oneself is often indicative of great internal struggle. It can be helpful to recognize that you are as deserving of care as any other human and that you, too, function best when your needs are met. Try, when possible, to do something special, take a break, ask for help, and to give your own needs the attention they deserve.
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Meeting Your Own Needs
In life, we are encouraged to think of others first. It is seen as a virtue to selflessly address the needs of parents, children, friends, and loved ones, before or sometimes at the cost of our own needs. But this virtue, like any, is best and most meaningful in moderation. Overly caring for others can easily be an unconscious cry for love or a crutch. Devoting all of your time to others can stand in the way of you caring for yourself. Taking care of yourself can feel selfish while taking care of others can seem easier than dealing with your own issues. But addressing your own needs first in some cases is beneficial and vital not only to your own health and well-being, but to your ability to care for others when needed.
We often find ourselves faced with too many responsibilities and those most readily given up are often those most important to us. Ask yourself why. Do you feel the need to prove yourself by being selfless or hope your sacrifice will be acknowledged? Do you feel selfish for wanting things for yourself? Or is it simply more stressful to contemplate your own needs, because they are the ones requiring the most personal effort on your part? Selfless dedication can be frustrating when we don't find the appreciation or love we desire, which ironically leads to putting more effort into others. But when you care for yourself, you affirm your own worth and boundaries. Don't be afraid to put yourself first now and then. Listen to your inner voice and be fair to yourself as well as to others. Have the courage to face your needs and issues head on without putting them off by helping someone else with theirs.
Avoiding caring for oneself is often indicative of great internal struggle. It can be helpful to recognize that you are as deserving of care as any other human and that you, too, function best when your needs are met. Try, when possible, to do something special, take a break, ask for help, and to give your own needs the attention they deserve.
What do you think?
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Strategic Thinking
--------------------------------------------------------
- by Brian Tracy
The Quality Of Thoughtfulness
The ability to think and plan strategically is perhaps the most important single skill of the effective executive. In a longitudinal study of leaders who, in retrospect, made the best and most effective decisions, the single quality that stood out from all others was the quality of "thoughtfulness." Thoughtfulness may be defined as a careful concern for the secondary consequences of each decision and each action. This is the essence of strategic thinking.
Your Most Powerful Tool
The most powerful tool that you as an executive have to bring to bear on your work is your mind - your thinking ability. Everything you do that sharpens and hones your ability to think with greater clarity before acting, will benefit you and help you to move upward and onward more rapidly in your career.
Use A Two Pronged Approach
The best way to approach strategic thinking is two pronged. This means to work simultaneously on the personal and the corporate.
The purpose of strategic planning is to increase return on equity. The guiding principle of strategic planning and strategic thinking is to organize and reorganize the resources and strengths of the individual and the organization so as to produce the highest amount of quality and quantity of outputs relative to inputs.
The central focus is always on bottom line results. The key question is always, "How can we best deploy the assets and resources of this organization so as to achieve greater and better results than we are achieving at the present time?"
Increase Your "Return On Energy"
In personal terms, strategic planning is an exercise in increasing "return on energy." Your greatest single asset is your earning ability. And your earning ability is nothing more than the total of the mental, emotional and physical energies that you can apply toward getting valuable results for yourself and your company. Anything that you can do to increase your return on energy invested will increase your overall levels of effectiveness and contribution in every area of your life, especially, and most importantly in your work.
Action Exercises
Here are three things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:
First, keep your thoughts on your dreams and goals, and keep them off of the things and people that cause you stress and negative emotions. This is not easy, but it’s very important.
Second, preserve your emotional energy by staying calm and positive.
- Brian Tracy
- by Brian Tracy
The Quality Of Thoughtfulness
The ability to think and plan strategically is perhaps the most important single skill of the effective executive. In a longitudinal study of leaders who, in retrospect, made the best and most effective decisions, the single quality that stood out from all others was the quality of "thoughtfulness." Thoughtfulness may be defined as a careful concern for the secondary consequences of each decision and each action. This is the essence of strategic thinking.
Your Most Powerful Tool
The most powerful tool that you as an executive have to bring to bear on your work is your mind - your thinking ability. Everything you do that sharpens and hones your ability to think with greater clarity before acting, will benefit you and help you to move upward and onward more rapidly in your career.
Use A Two Pronged Approach
The best way to approach strategic thinking is two pronged. This means to work simultaneously on the personal and the corporate.
The purpose of strategic planning is to increase return on equity. The guiding principle of strategic planning and strategic thinking is to organize and reorganize the resources and strengths of the individual and the organization so as to produce the highest amount of quality and quantity of outputs relative to inputs.
The central focus is always on bottom line results. The key question is always, "How can we best deploy the assets and resources of this organization so as to achieve greater and better results than we are achieving at the present time?"
Increase Your "Return On Energy"
In personal terms, strategic planning is an exercise in increasing "return on energy." Your greatest single asset is your earning ability. And your earning ability is nothing more than the total of the mental, emotional and physical energies that you can apply toward getting valuable results for yourself and your company. Anything that you can do to increase your return on energy invested will increase your overall levels of effectiveness and contribution in every area of your life, especially, and most importantly in your work.
Action Exercises
Here are three things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:
First, keep your thoughts on your dreams and goals, and keep them off of the things and people that cause you stress and negative emotions. This is not easy, but it’s very important.
Second, preserve your emotional energy by staying calm and positive.
- Brian Tracy
IF YOU WANT IT, YOU CAN HAVE IT
--------------------------------------------------
If you're willing to pay the price, any of your circumstances will change. If you want something badly enough, you're sure to get it. The key to success is desire.
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain, circumstances or other challenges can be there. But if you want to do something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it done.
Your desire will in time externalize itself into concrete fact. Your reality will form around your commitment to succeed.
You only have to love a thing greatly to get it. Desire is the fire of life.
©2005 by Max Steingart
If you're willing to pay the price, any of your circumstances will change. If you want something badly enough, you're sure to get it. The key to success is desire.
Obstacles don't matter very much. Pain, circumstances or other challenges can be there. But if you want to do something bad enough, you'll find a way to get it done.
Your desire will in time externalize itself into concrete fact. Your reality will form around your commitment to succeed.
You only have to love a thing greatly to get it. Desire is the fire of life.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Friday, July 15, 2005
Energetic Stillness
-------------------------------------------------------
The Power Of Patience
We typically think of patience as a quality that we employ on an as needed basis. We are in a hurry at the grocery store, but the line is long, so we take a breath and practice patience. Similarly, if we are interacting with someone who is slower than we are-a child or an elderly person-we try to slow ourselves down and be patient with that person. But another way to think about patience is as an all-pervasive force at our disposal, something we can practice continually in relation to the bigger picture.
Patience means being centered in our bodies. When you are in a hurry, you can almost feel that your energy is dislocated, as if it's reaching forward out of your body trying to get to your desired goal. It's a very unbalancing feeling, and causes us to make mistakes and be clumsy in the world. We may go through an entire day feeling this way and never realize that impatience is at the root of the situation. We may also go through our whole lives this way, never quite fully inhabiting the moment. When we become overly goal-oriented or future-oriented, consciously practicing patience is just the thing to return us to our bodies and our immediate lives. We can begin by taking time each day just to be still, observing our thoughts and desires without acting on them or following them. We simply let them arise and disappear as we remain seated and centered.
More than just an attribute to be cultivated, patience is an energetic experience. While it may seem mild or tepid as a concept, the actual experience of patience is quite powerful. When you are patient, when you resist reaching out to grab the first thing you think you want, when you are able to sit still and simply observe without reacting, you begin to see the world more fully and clearly. You become capable of acting more consciously. You become more attuned to the openings and closings and more able to see when to move forward and when to be still. And most importantly, you discover the deep, quiet power of the experience of patience.
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The Power Of Patience
We typically think of patience as a quality that we employ on an as needed basis. We are in a hurry at the grocery store, but the line is long, so we take a breath and practice patience. Similarly, if we are interacting with someone who is slower than we are-a child or an elderly person-we try to slow ourselves down and be patient with that person. But another way to think about patience is as an all-pervasive force at our disposal, something we can practice continually in relation to the bigger picture.
Patience means being centered in our bodies. When you are in a hurry, you can almost feel that your energy is dislocated, as if it's reaching forward out of your body trying to get to your desired goal. It's a very unbalancing feeling, and causes us to make mistakes and be clumsy in the world. We may go through an entire day feeling this way and never realize that impatience is at the root of the situation. We may also go through our whole lives this way, never quite fully inhabiting the moment. When we become overly goal-oriented or future-oriented, consciously practicing patience is just the thing to return us to our bodies and our immediate lives. We can begin by taking time each day just to be still, observing our thoughts and desires without acting on them or following them. We simply let them arise and disappear as we remain seated and centered.
More than just an attribute to be cultivated, patience is an energetic experience. While it may seem mild or tepid as a concept, the actual experience of patience is quite powerful. When you are patient, when you resist reaching out to grab the first thing you think you want, when you are able to sit still and simply observe without reacting, you begin to see the world more fully and clearly. You become capable of acting more consciously. You become more attuned to the openings and closings and more able to see when to move forward and when to be still. And most importantly, you discover the deep, quiet power of the experience of patience.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Laughing through the Apocalypse
-------------------------------------------------------
– By Dale Atkins
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day if I did not laugh I should die. -- Abraham Lincoln
Laughing is probably the last thing you feel like doing when your parents are driving you insane, but that is precisely the reaction you should have sometimes. Throughout the ages, much humor has been derived from the antics of bumbling dads, meddling mothers-in-law, and overindulgent parents of all sorts. Think Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Woody Allen, Philip Roth. From Sanford and Son to Meet the Parents and The Royal Tenenbaums, relations between adult children and their mothers and fathers have been a rich topic in popular culture. There is good reason for this: almost
everyone periodically finds themselves in situations with their parents that walk the line between harrowing and hilarious.
One of my clients, a top executive at a huge entertainment company, brought his mother to the Grammy Awards. After introducing her to some of his colleagues, he brought her over to say hello to Mariah Carey. His mother took one look at the singer's gown -- cut down to her navel -- and asked in a voice tinged with disapproval, "Do you work for my son?"
"No," said Carey. "I'm an entertainer."
"I'm sure you are, my dear," said his mother, turning on her heels.
Did you laugh when you read that? I certainly did when my client told me that story. He was mortified by how his mother had acted, and I was trying to be sympathetic, but I couldn't help myself -- a little guffaw just slipped out. And you know what? When he saw me laugh, he started laughing too. In fact, we both laughed so hard tears came to our eyes. I still smile nöw every time I think of his five-foot-two inch mom in her spangly pantsuit giving Mariah Carey the cold shoulder.
My point is that learning to see your parents' foibles -- and your sometimes overblown reactions to them -- as humorous, at least on some level, is healthy and extremely productive. Seeing that your life resembles a not-ready-for-prime-time reality show can be as efficient as the SWAT explosives unit at diffusing any bombs your parents throw at you.
And learning to laugh to yourself at your parents -- yes, it's something you may have to learn -- will also provide you with great material to share with friends and family. That's important, because telling funny stories about your zany parents is a good way to drain the drama and heartache out of your dealings with them. And that's a giant step toward putting it all in perspective and eventually dealing with your parents in a sane, strategic manner.
With whom should you share such stories? Well, for starters, your Second Opinion will enjoy hearing you talk about your parents with humor. He or she already knows the players and what's at stake, and -- if you have chosen your S.O. carefully -- will be overjoyed to hear that you are dealing with the conflict in a less loaded way. Everyone loves a good story. There is no greater tension reliever than being able to transform an annoying interaction with your parents into a ruefully funny story to tell your partner as you both lay in bed at night. The person you love
probably has heard his or her share of horror stories, listened to you complain endlessly, probably with good reason, about your burden. If you can occasionally rework the drama into a comedy, it will make listening to your complaints much easier the next time around.
I realize that recasting the drama between you and your parents into a comedy is not always easy. Laughter requires distance. Unless you put some space between yourself and the situation, learn to float above it and look down at the dynamics from a safe place, you will not be able to appreciate the inherent humor, however black, in the situation. If you allow yourself to be stuck in the role of victim, you will feel threatened and angry instead of bemused and in possession of a good story for your friends.
Imagine your family as a sitcom. Even though you may react to that suggestion by saying, "But the things that go on between me and my parents aren't funny; they're tragic," remember that, on paper, the friction on Everybody Loves Raymond, or All in the Family, could have been tragedy, too. The guilt in those shows is thick and unwieldy, as are the insults and humiliations. But the writers work hard to tap into the universality of suffering, which can be funny in a poignant, human way. They tried to find the humor in misplaced pride, in petty self-interests, in love gone
awry. That is how I want you to view the friction between you and your parents, at least from time to time. What role would you play? What actors would you cast as your mom and dad? What would your character do differently? What funny lines would you give yourself? Where would the laugh track chime in?
You might also create a parental humor support group with some friends and swap tales of your parents' silly behavior. Avoid complaining; concentrate on the nutty narratives. Not only will such sessions alleviate an unbelievable amount of stress, but they will show you that you are not alone. They may even show you that some people have parents even crazier than yours.
Humor can exist in the most painful and difficult of situations. In urging you to find the humor in your situation, I am not suggesting that you mask your darker feelings -- merely that you not be overwhelmed by them. The key is to accept that your parents can be simultaneously annoying (or humiliating or sad or manipulative) and funny. And that you can sometimes be funny or at least light-hearted in your response to them.
There is a big difference between manufacturing humor (it will always feel phony and hurt more than it helps) and cultivating it if even the faintest whisper of humor lurks in any situation. That is a gift that will last you for many years. As Mark Twain said, "Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."
Copyright © 2004 Dale Atkins and Nancy Hass
(Excerpted from the book “I'm OK, You're My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works” by Dale Atkins, Ph.D., Published by Henry Holt; April 2004
– By Dale Atkins
With the fearful strain that is on me night and day if I did not laugh I should die. -- Abraham Lincoln
Laughing is probably the last thing you feel like doing when your parents are driving you insane, but that is precisely the reaction you should have sometimes. Throughout the ages, much humor has been derived from the antics of bumbling dads, meddling mothers-in-law, and overindulgent parents of all sorts. Think Shakespeare, Jane Austen, Woody Allen, Philip Roth. From Sanford and Son to Meet the Parents and The Royal Tenenbaums, relations between adult children and their mothers and fathers have been a rich topic in popular culture. There is good reason for this: almost
everyone periodically finds themselves in situations with their parents that walk the line between harrowing and hilarious.
One of my clients, a top executive at a huge entertainment company, brought his mother to the Grammy Awards. After introducing her to some of his colleagues, he brought her over to say hello to Mariah Carey. His mother took one look at the singer's gown -- cut down to her navel -- and asked in a voice tinged with disapproval, "Do you work for my son?"
"No," said Carey. "I'm an entertainer."
"I'm sure you are, my dear," said his mother, turning on her heels.
Did you laugh when you read that? I certainly did when my client told me that story. He was mortified by how his mother had acted, and I was trying to be sympathetic, but I couldn't help myself -- a little guffaw just slipped out. And you know what? When he saw me laugh, he started laughing too. In fact, we both laughed so hard tears came to our eyes. I still smile nöw every time I think of his five-foot-two inch mom in her spangly pantsuit giving Mariah Carey the cold shoulder.
My point is that learning to see your parents' foibles -- and your sometimes overblown reactions to them -- as humorous, at least on some level, is healthy and extremely productive. Seeing that your life resembles a not-ready-for-prime-time reality show can be as efficient as the SWAT explosives unit at diffusing any bombs your parents throw at you.
And learning to laugh to yourself at your parents -- yes, it's something you may have to learn -- will also provide you with great material to share with friends and family. That's important, because telling funny stories about your zany parents is a good way to drain the drama and heartache out of your dealings with them. And that's a giant step toward putting it all in perspective and eventually dealing with your parents in a sane, strategic manner.
With whom should you share such stories? Well, for starters, your Second Opinion will enjoy hearing you talk about your parents with humor. He or she already knows the players and what's at stake, and -- if you have chosen your S.O. carefully -- will be overjoyed to hear that you are dealing with the conflict in a less loaded way. Everyone loves a good story. There is no greater tension reliever than being able to transform an annoying interaction with your parents into a ruefully funny story to tell your partner as you both lay in bed at night. The person you love
probably has heard his or her share of horror stories, listened to you complain endlessly, probably with good reason, about your burden. If you can occasionally rework the drama into a comedy, it will make listening to your complaints much easier the next time around.
I realize that recasting the drama between you and your parents into a comedy is not always easy. Laughter requires distance. Unless you put some space between yourself and the situation, learn to float above it and look down at the dynamics from a safe place, you will not be able to appreciate the inherent humor, however black, in the situation. If you allow yourself to be stuck in the role of victim, you will feel threatened and angry instead of bemused and in possession of a good story for your friends.
Imagine your family as a sitcom. Even though you may react to that suggestion by saying, "But the things that go on between me and my parents aren't funny; they're tragic," remember that, on paper, the friction on Everybody Loves Raymond, or All in the Family, could have been tragedy, too. The guilt in those shows is thick and unwieldy, as are the insults and humiliations. But the writers work hard to tap into the universality of suffering, which can be funny in a poignant, human way. They tried to find the humor in misplaced pride, in petty self-interests, in love gone
awry. That is how I want you to view the friction between you and your parents, at least from time to time. What role would you play? What actors would you cast as your mom and dad? What would your character do differently? What funny lines would you give yourself? Where would the laugh track chime in?
You might also create a parental humor support group with some friends and swap tales of your parents' silly behavior. Avoid complaining; concentrate on the nutty narratives. Not only will such sessions alleviate an unbelievable amount of stress, but they will show you that you are not alone. They may even show you that some people have parents even crazier than yours.
Humor can exist in the most painful and difficult of situations. In urging you to find the humor in your situation, I am not suggesting that you mask your darker feelings -- merely that you not be overwhelmed by them. The key is to accept that your parents can be simultaneously annoying (or humiliating or sad or manipulative) and funny. And that you can sometimes be funny or at least light-hearted in your response to them.
There is a big difference between manufacturing humor (it will always feel phony and hurt more than it helps) and cultivating it if even the faintest whisper of humor lurks in any situation. That is a gift that will last you for many years. As Mark Twain said, "Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."
Copyright © 2004 Dale Atkins and Nancy Hass
(Excerpted from the book “I'm OK, You're My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works” by Dale Atkins, Ph.D., Published by Henry Holt; April 2004
DON'T MAKE YOUR THOUGHTS YOUR PRISONS
-----------------------------------------------
You're more important than any of your problems. What you have outside you counts less than what you have inside you.
Courage gives you the power to face your difficulties. It comes from the reserves of your mind that are more powerful than your outside circumstances.
Your obstacles will look large or small to you according to whether you are large or small.
Courage gives you the capacity to confront what can be imagined. It gives you the ability to rise above your present reality. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
When you recognize that you're bigger than your problems, you'll gain the courage necessary to overcome anything.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You're more important than any of your problems. What you have outside you counts less than what you have inside you.
Courage gives you the power to face your difficulties. It comes from the reserves of your mind that are more powerful than your outside circumstances.
Your obstacles will look large or small to you according to whether you are large or small.
Courage gives you the capacity to confront what can be imagined. It gives you the ability to rise above your present reality. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
When you recognize that you're bigger than your problems, you'll gain the courage necessary to overcome anything.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Messengers Of Light
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Rainbows
The ancient Greeks believed that the goddess Iris used rainbows to travel from the heavens to earth, gliding down the colorful slide to deliver messages from the gods to humans. Looking at a rainbow, it is easy to see how it came to be seen as a mode for divine communication. When one appears, we stop what we're doing and stare in amazement. Something magical has penetrated our everyday world and blessed us with it's beauty.
Every culture has witnessed the rainbow and attempted to make sense of it in its own way. In recent years, it has been interpreted as a message of racial unity-a symbol representing the potential for the harmonious coming together of all the various tribes of the earth. In Tibetan Buddhism, when a great yogi or yogini passes on, rainbows appear at the time of passing. This is referred to as the attainment of the rainbow body. What it means is that the soul in question purified itself so completely as to be free of darkness at the time of death.
These philosophies challenge the perception that the universe is necessarily dualistic, that war and peace, darkness and light, are two sides of one coin. According to these interpretations, harmony and pure light are ultimately capable of absorbing and healing conflict and negativity, the rainbow acting as a symbol of a higher realm of consciousness in which these aspects cease to exist.
This transformation is achieved, not through repressing negativity, but through bathing it in the light and allowing the power of the light to absorb it. In this way, the rainbow is indeed a cosmic messenger reminding us of the power of our individual and collective higher consciousness, through which we have the power to heal our world and ourselves.
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Rainbows
The ancient Greeks believed that the goddess Iris used rainbows to travel from the heavens to earth, gliding down the colorful slide to deliver messages from the gods to humans. Looking at a rainbow, it is easy to see how it came to be seen as a mode for divine communication. When one appears, we stop what we're doing and stare in amazement. Something magical has penetrated our everyday world and blessed us with it's beauty.
Every culture has witnessed the rainbow and attempted to make sense of it in its own way. In recent years, it has been interpreted as a message of racial unity-a symbol representing the potential for the harmonious coming together of all the various tribes of the earth. In Tibetan Buddhism, when a great yogi or yogini passes on, rainbows appear at the time of passing. This is referred to as the attainment of the rainbow body. What it means is that the soul in question purified itself so completely as to be free of darkness at the time of death.
These philosophies challenge the perception that the universe is necessarily dualistic, that war and peace, darkness and light, are two sides of one coin. According to these interpretations, harmony and pure light are ultimately capable of absorbing and healing conflict and negativity, the rainbow acting as a symbol of a higher realm of consciousness in which these aspects cease to exist.
This transformation is achieved, not through repressing negativity, but through bathing it in the light and allowing the power of the light to absorb it. In this way, the rainbow is indeed a cosmic messenger reminding us of the power of our individual and collective higher consciousness, through which we have the power to heal our world and ourselves.
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Desire
-------------------------------------------------------
- by Unknown Author
An emperor was coming out of his palace for his morning walk when he met a beggar. He asked the beggar, "What do you want?" The beggar laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfill my desire!" The king was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfill your desire. What is it? Just tell me." And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything."
The beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the emporers past life master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come again." But the king had forgotten completely -- who remembers past lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give to you?" The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?" The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his viziers and told him, "Fill this mans begging bowl with money." The vizier went and got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the beggging bowl remained always empty.
The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumor went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake. He said to his viziers, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar." Diamons and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming empty.The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put into it -- everything! -- immediately disappeared, went out of existence.
Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The king dropped at the fet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. he said, "Just tell me one thing. You are victorious - but before you leave, just fulfill my curiousity. What is the beging bowl made of?" The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There is no secret. It is simple made up of human desire."
This understanding transforms life. Go into one desire -- what is the mechanism of it? First there is a great excitement, great thrill, adventure. you feel a great kick. Somethting is going to happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you have the yacht, you have the house, you have the woman, and suddenly all is meaningless again. What happens? Your mind has dematerialised it. The car is standing in the drive, but there is no excitement anymore. The excitement was only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire thah you forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car in the drive, the woman in your bed, the money in your bank account - again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this yawning abyss.
That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire. The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life.
The other journey is inwards. Move inwards, come back home.
- Unknown Author
- by Unknown Author
An emperor was coming out of his palace for his morning walk when he met a beggar. He asked the beggar, "What do you want?" The beggar laughed and said, "You are asking me as though you can fulfill my desire!" The king was offended. He said, "Of course I can fulfill your desire. What is it? Just tell me." And the beggar said, "Think twice before you promise anything."
The beggar was no ordinary beggar, he was the emporers past life master. He had promised in that life, "I will come and try to wake you in your next life. This life you have missed but I will come again." But the king had forgotten completely -- who remembers past lives? So he insisted, "I will fulfill anything you ask. I am a very powerful emperor, what can you possibly desire that I can not give to you?" The beggar said, "It is a very simple desire. You see this begging bowl? Can you fill it with something?" The emperor said, "Of course!" He called one of his viziers and told him, "Fill this mans begging bowl with money." The vizier went and got some money and poured it into the bowl, and it disappeared. And he poured more and more, and the moment he would pour it, it would disappear. And the beggging bowl remained always empty.
The whole palace gathered. By and by the rumor went throughout the whole capital, and a huge crowd gathered. The prestige of the emperor was at stake. He said to his viziers, "If the whole kingdom is lost, I am ready to lose it, but I cannot be defeated by this beggar." Diamons and pearls and emeralds, his treasuries were becoming empty.The begging bowl seemed to be bottomless. Everything that was put into it -- everything! -- immediately disappeared, went out of existence.
Finally it was the evening, and the people were standing there in utter silence. The king dropped at the fet of the beggar and admitted his defeat. he said, "Just tell me one thing. You are victorious - but before you leave, just fulfill my curiousity. What is the beging bowl made of?" The beggar laughed and said, "It is made up of the human mind. There is no secret. It is simple made up of human desire."
This understanding transforms life. Go into one desire -- what is the mechanism of it? First there is a great excitement, great thrill, adventure. you feel a great kick. Somethting is going to happen, you are on the verge of it. And then you have the car, you have the yacht, you have the house, you have the woman, and suddenly all is meaningless again. What happens? Your mind has dematerialised it. The car is standing in the drive, but there is no excitement anymore. The excitement was only in getting it. You became so drunk with the desire thah you forgot your inner nothingness. Now the desire is fulfilled, the car in the drive, the woman in your bed, the money in your bank account - again excitement disappears. Again the emptiness is there, ready to eat you up. Again you have to create another desire to escape this yawning abyss.
That's how one moves from one desire to another desire. That's how one remains a beggar. Your whole life proves it again and again -- every desire frustrates. And when the goal is achieved, you will need another desire. The day you understand that desire as such is going to fail comes the turning point in your life.
The other journey is inwards. Move inwards, come back home.
- Unknown Author
YOUR DREAMS CAN COME TRUE
----------------------------------------------------
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it. If you have the desire, you have the power to attain it.
You can have anything you want in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. Your dreams can come true if you pursue them.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.
The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it. If you have the desire, you have the power to attain it.
You can have anything you want in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it. Your dreams can come true if you pursue them.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Repeated Listening
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Mirroring
Too often people disregard the need to show their conversational partner that their message has been comprehended. Or they only listen with half-hearted focus, also devoting attention to formulating a response... Using the mirroring technique during conversation by sending a feedback signal to your companion both lets them know they are being heard and shows that you are sincerely interested in their words. You do this by ensuring that you have heard those words correctly. Simply by saying, "What I heard you say is..." or repeating their statement but worded as a question, you emphasize partnership and remain centered within the conversation. If your original assessment is incorrect, you can then ask for clarification.
Practicing the mirroring technique teaches you how to really listen and experience the speaker's thoughts and feelings within the context of their perspective, even during tense or emotionally difficult conversations. Showing your comprehension of each individual point your partner has made helps you to devote your full attention to what is being communicated and proves to the speaker that his or her words are not going unheeded. In doing this, you put aside your own reactions until it is your turn to speak and to move past the word level of listening to the essence level.
Mirroring should take place in a comfortable, neutral setting, wherein both speakers will be able to feel accepted and free to express their feelings. The benefits come from focusing on comprehending the meaning of what has been said rather than indulging in expectations, relying on the unspoken, or hoping you have understood. Instead, the result is a nearly perfect understanding of your partner's viewpoint.
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Mirroring
Too often people disregard the need to show their conversational partner that their message has been comprehended. Or they only listen with half-hearted focus, also devoting attention to formulating a response... Using the mirroring technique during conversation by sending a feedback signal to your companion both lets them know they are being heard and shows that you are sincerely interested in their words. You do this by ensuring that you have heard those words correctly. Simply by saying, "What I heard you say is..." or repeating their statement but worded as a question, you emphasize partnership and remain centered within the conversation. If your original assessment is incorrect, you can then ask for clarification.
Practicing the mirroring technique teaches you how to really listen and experience the speaker's thoughts and feelings within the context of their perspective, even during tense or emotionally difficult conversations. Showing your comprehension of each individual point your partner has made helps you to devote your full attention to what is being communicated and proves to the speaker that his or her words are not going unheeded. In doing this, you put aside your own reactions until it is your turn to speak and to move past the word level of listening to the essence level.
Mirroring should take place in a comfortable, neutral setting, wherein both speakers will be able to feel accepted and free to express their feelings. The benefits come from focusing on comprehending the meaning of what has been said rather than indulging in expectations, relying on the unspoken, or hoping you have understood. Instead, the result is a nearly perfect understanding of your partner's viewpoint.
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7 Ways to Ensure a Very Cool Day from Start to Finish
----------------------------------------------------
– By Dr. Drew Rozell
1) Set a Relaxed Tone.
Give yourself plenty of time and space in the morning. Avoid waking up, jumping in the shower, throwing on some clothes, and dumping coffee in your lap while weaving through traffic. If you begin your day burning adrenaline, you've set the tone for a stressful day where you're continually running late.
2) Move Your Body.
Exercising in the morning provides an energy boost and the warm comfort of relaxed muscles that lasts throughout the day. You need not do a full workout; even a few minutes stretching or walking around the block will make a big difference.
3) Underpromise.
Put a boundary in place to protect you from taking on situations that will cause you stress. Instead of saying yes to a request when your gut is screaming NO, say no. Underpromising means giving yourself a cushion for completing projects and making appointments to avoid the sub-standard work and stress that come with rushing around to meet a deadline.
4) Overdeliver.
Okay, nöw that you've underpromised, you have the opportunity to overdeliver -- to exceed expectations. For example, tell customers that you will have a project completed in three days and then deliver it in two days. Not only have you avoided the stress of a tight deadline, you've exceeded your client's expectations. As a result, you will feel more professional because you are acting more professional. When you feel better about yourself, you'll end up accomplishing more. Consistently.
5) Get away from your workspace for lunch.
This noon, remove yourself from your work area and eat slowly. Find a quiet spot, eat something light, and relax. You will return to your work re-energized and with a fresh perspective on your work.
6) Clean house.
Schedule 10 minutes before you leave each day to maintain your workspace. File things that need to be filed, delete unimportant e-mails, toss paperwork you don't absolutely need, and return phone calls you received that day. You will have completed your day and will have a friendly space to welcome you to work the next morning.
7) Have something to look forward to each evening.
Have something better to do with your evening than the default of zoning out in front of the TV or doing more work. Prepare a nice meal. Dust off your guitar or piano. Listen to some music. Talk with a friend. Take a class. Read a book. Join a club or league. Connect with your family. Learn something. Build a life.
Yes, I know this is a 'Top 7', but I figured this was an opportunity to overdeliver.
8) Sleep well.
Only 35% of adults sleep the recommended 8 hours or more per night during the 5-day workweek. It affects you more than you think. Turn off the TV, put your work away, and get the rest you need. Pleasant dreams!
About the Author:
Personal coach Dr. Drew Rozell holds you accountable for making the changes that allow you to live a very cool life. Meet him at http://www.evolutioncoaching.com
– By Dr. Drew Rozell
1) Set a Relaxed Tone.
Give yourself plenty of time and space in the morning. Avoid waking up, jumping in the shower, throwing on some clothes, and dumping coffee in your lap while weaving through traffic. If you begin your day burning adrenaline, you've set the tone for a stressful day where you're continually running late.
2) Move Your Body.
Exercising in the morning provides an energy boost and the warm comfort of relaxed muscles that lasts throughout the day. You need not do a full workout; even a few minutes stretching or walking around the block will make a big difference.
3) Underpromise.
Put a boundary in place to protect you from taking on situations that will cause you stress. Instead of saying yes to a request when your gut is screaming NO, say no. Underpromising means giving yourself a cushion for completing projects and making appointments to avoid the sub-standard work and stress that come with rushing around to meet a deadline.
4) Overdeliver.
Okay, nöw that you've underpromised, you have the opportunity to overdeliver -- to exceed expectations. For example, tell customers that you will have a project completed in three days and then deliver it in two days. Not only have you avoided the stress of a tight deadline, you've exceeded your client's expectations. As a result, you will feel more professional because you are acting more professional. When you feel better about yourself, you'll end up accomplishing more. Consistently.
5) Get away from your workspace for lunch.
This noon, remove yourself from your work area and eat slowly. Find a quiet spot, eat something light, and relax. You will return to your work re-energized and with a fresh perspective on your work.
6) Clean house.
Schedule 10 minutes before you leave each day to maintain your workspace. File things that need to be filed, delete unimportant e-mails, toss paperwork you don't absolutely need, and return phone calls you received that day. You will have completed your day and will have a friendly space to welcome you to work the next morning.
7) Have something to look forward to each evening.
Have something better to do with your evening than the default of zoning out in front of the TV or doing more work. Prepare a nice meal. Dust off your guitar or piano. Listen to some music. Talk with a friend. Take a class. Read a book. Join a club or league. Connect with your family. Learn something. Build a life.
Yes, I know this is a 'Top 7', but I figured this was an opportunity to overdeliver.
8) Sleep well.
Only 35% of adults sleep the recommended 8 hours or more per night during the 5-day workweek. It affects you more than you think. Turn off the TV, put your work away, and get the rest you need. Pleasant dreams!
About the Author:
Personal coach Dr. Drew Rozell holds you accountable for making the changes that allow you to live a very cool life. Meet him at http://www.evolutioncoaching.com
ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING
-------------------------------------------------------
You determine your attitude.
You can respond positively or negatively to any situation. Your attitude is not determined by circumstances, but by how you respond to your circumstances.
Any challenge facing you is not as important as your attitude towards it, for that will determine your success or failure.
It's how you react to events, not the events themselves, that determines your attitude.
©2005 by Max Steingart
You determine your attitude.
You can respond positively or negatively to any situation. Your attitude is not determined by circumstances, but by how you respond to your circumstances.
Any challenge facing you is not as important as your attitude towards it, for that will determine your success or failure.
It's how you react to events, not the events themselves, that determines your attitude.
©2005 by Max Steingart
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Pennies From Heaven
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Spending Play Money
In our society, money is almost certainly a necessity, but the paper bills we carry around have no real value other than what we impose on them. To a small child, one dollar may seem like a huge amount of money while to a wage earning adult that same dollar may be inconsequential. And, like so much of what we value in life, we attract or repel money, depending on our thoughts and actions.
A fun exercise and valuable learning experience is to make your own money. Make your own bank notes, use play money or write yourself a fake check for whatever amount you desire. If you desire, why not see what it feels like to carry around a million dollars. Notice if being a millionaire makes you more generous or frugal, secure, or even perhaps a bit paranoid.
Make as much money as you want. Notice if you make a lot or a little and pay attention to what your currency is worth. Do you use your money to help make the world a better place or give to your favorite charity? Notice how much you spend on yourself and on others and how that makes you feel. Do you feel a sense of freedom or do you feel bogged down by the responsibility and challenges of keeping track of your money.
The exercise may seem silly to some people and exciting to others. What it is meant to do is to help you understand your relationship to money and how important it is to you. The play money you make may only be paper, but the prosperity you create is very real.
What do you think?
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Spending Play Money
In our society, money is almost certainly a necessity, but the paper bills we carry around have no real value other than what we impose on them. To a small child, one dollar may seem like a huge amount of money while to a wage earning adult that same dollar may be inconsequential. And, like so much of what we value in life, we attract or repel money, depending on our thoughts and actions.
A fun exercise and valuable learning experience is to make your own money. Make your own bank notes, use play money or write yourself a fake check for whatever amount you desire. If you desire, why not see what it feels like to carry around a million dollars. Notice if being a millionaire makes you more generous or frugal, secure, or even perhaps a bit paranoid.
Make as much money as you want. Notice if you make a lot or a little and pay attention to what your currency is worth. Do you use your money to help make the world a better place or give to your favorite charity? Notice how much you spend on yourself and on others and how that makes you feel. Do you feel a sense of freedom or do you feel bogged down by the responsibility and challenges of keeping track of your money.
The exercise may seem silly to some people and exciting to others. What it is meant to do is to help you understand your relationship to money and how important it is to you. The play money you make may only be paper, but the prosperity you create is very real.
What do you think?
Discuss this article and share your opinion
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Developing Self-Belief - The 9 Step Process
----------------------------------------------------
– By Nick Best
To achieve any goal in life, you must believe you are going to be successful. If you do not, you are likely to fail. For each of your goals, in your heart of hearts, do you really believe you will achieve them? If the answer for any of them is no, the following 9 step process will help you to develop this belief and stride forward confidently toward achieving your goal.
1) Be confident that the end result is possible.
Perhaps someone else has already achieved this goal or perhaps they've achieved something similar. Alternatively, you might be clear in your own mind that it can be achieved.
2) Believe that the end result is possible by you.
We often hold limïting beliefs about our own ability to achieve goals. It is important to check out the beliefs that are limïting you, and take time to address these. Your aim is to feel that the goal is not just possible, but possible by you.
3) Really want the end result.
The more we want to achieve a goal, the bigger the hurdles we'll jump over to get there and in turn the greater the self-belief we will have. Choose a goal you really want, and seek to understand the underlying values achieving your goal will fulfill.
4) Believe that you deserve the end result.
Hidden under the surface in many people is a hidden belief that they do not deserve to succeed. When they try to take action this belief restricts them, they lose motivation, and fail. Remember that if you work consistently toward your goal, you deserve all the success you get.
5) Achieving your goal must not contradict any other beliefs or values you have
An entrepreneur might on one hand want to make a millïon, but also believe that people who have too much monëy are greedy. If achieving your goal is not consistent with your other beliefs and values, your subconscious mind will hinder your progress by creating doubts about whether you should achieve it. Understanding and dealing with any conflicting beliefs and values ensures you move toward your goal with your whole being supporting you.
6) Create a plan
Taking the time to research and create a plan enables you to clearly see how your goal will be achieved. The better the plan the more confidence you will have that the goal is achievable.
7) Believe that you can do each of the steps on the plan
End goals can often be so big and seem so far away that they become overwhelming. Achieving your goal simply means taking lots of small achievable steps. Being clear that you can do each of the steps on your plan means that you can also achieve your end goal.
8) Believe you will do the steps on the plan
Having a plan you can do does not necessarily mean you will do it. We often have other commitments and limïtations which this plan has to fit around. You must therefore consider the barriers which may prevent you from undertaking the steps on your plan, and work around these. You must then commit to following through with your plan no matter what.
9) Believe you are likely to achieve your goal
You should aim to believe there is more than an 80% chance that you will achieve your goal. Spending time visualising yourself achieving the end goal and addressing any final doubts you have, will enable you to take action with the conviction that you will be successful.
© 2001 Nick Best, Managementoflife.com
About the Author:
Nick Best is an author, speaker and personal development coach. If you would like more information on the 9 step self-belief process and how to make it work for you, e-mail him at nickbest@managementoflife.com, and he will send you the full text of the relevant chapter of his book "The Management Of Life." Other selected chapters of the book can be found on his website http://www.managementoflife.com
– By Nick Best
To achieve any goal in life, you must believe you are going to be successful. If you do not, you are likely to fail. For each of your goals, in your heart of hearts, do you really believe you will achieve them? If the answer for any of them is no, the following 9 step process will help you to develop this belief and stride forward confidently toward achieving your goal.
1) Be confident that the end result is possible.
Perhaps someone else has already achieved this goal or perhaps they've achieved something similar. Alternatively, you might be clear in your own mind that it can be achieved.
2) Believe that the end result is possible by you.
We often hold limïting beliefs about our own ability to achieve goals. It is important to check out the beliefs that are limïting you, and take time to address these. Your aim is to feel that the goal is not just possible, but possible by you.
3) Really want the end result.
The more we want to achieve a goal, the bigger the hurdles we'll jump over to get there and in turn the greater the self-belief we will have. Choose a goal you really want, and seek to understand the underlying values achieving your goal will fulfill.
4) Believe that you deserve the end result.
Hidden under the surface in many people is a hidden belief that they do not deserve to succeed. When they try to take action this belief restricts them, they lose motivation, and fail. Remember that if you work consistently toward your goal, you deserve all the success you get.
5) Achieving your goal must not contradict any other beliefs or values you have
An entrepreneur might on one hand want to make a millïon, but also believe that people who have too much monëy are greedy. If achieving your goal is not consistent with your other beliefs and values, your subconscious mind will hinder your progress by creating doubts about whether you should achieve it. Understanding and dealing with any conflicting beliefs and values ensures you move toward your goal with your whole being supporting you.
6) Create a plan
Taking the time to research and create a plan enables you to clearly see how your goal will be achieved. The better the plan the more confidence you will have that the goal is achievable.
7) Believe that you can do each of the steps on the plan
End goals can often be so big and seem so far away that they become overwhelming. Achieving your goal simply means taking lots of small achievable steps. Being clear that you can do each of the steps on your plan means that you can also achieve your end goal.
8) Believe you will do the steps on the plan
Having a plan you can do does not necessarily mean you will do it. We often have other commitments and limïtations which this plan has to fit around. You must therefore consider the barriers which may prevent you from undertaking the steps on your plan, and work around these. You must then commit to following through with your plan no matter what.
9) Believe you are likely to achieve your goal
You should aim to believe there is more than an 80% chance that you will achieve your goal. Spending time visualising yourself achieving the end goal and addressing any final doubts you have, will enable you to take action with the conviction that you will be successful.
© 2001 Nick Best, Managementoflife.com
About the Author:
Nick Best is an author, speaker and personal development coach. If you would like more information on the 9 step self-belief process and how to make it work for you, e-mail him at nickbest@managementoflife.com, and he will send you the full text of the relevant chapter of his book "The Management Of Life." Other selected chapters of the book can be found on his website http://www.managementoflife.com
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